Handsome - Alison Brie asks about changing your personality

Episode Date: July 15, 2025

Alison Brie (and her cat Otis!) asks Handsome a delightful and revealing question about trying on different personalities. Plus "hide the peanut", A syrupy-sweet nickname, and some real talk about femme-ing it up in the bathroom.Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Handsome pod. Handsome pod. Chatting with friends on the handsome pod. Chatting with friends on the handsome pod. Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I am here. I'm Mae Martin.

I'm one of your hosts. I'm joined by... Dignotaro. I am also a host. Oh, what's your name? I'm Fortune Beemster. I think I'm also a host. Absolutely.

We all agree. Yeah. I think it's safe to say at this point, you're one of the hosts. You guys, the host with the most. Well, that's up for you. That's you? No, all of us. We're the hosts.

Oh, okay. And you just can hear the S, hosts. You know, it's fine. I'm not terribly competitive. Really? I'll be honest. No, except when Stephanie wants to play 20 questions. Then my competitive side comes out.

What is 20 questions? I don't think of that as a very competitive game, but... Well, her mother pointed it out yesterday because Stephanie is so good. Like if you say, oh, as a comedian that has, you know, moved, whatever, some sort of, you put out some sort of information and then Stephanie will be like, oh, can I guess who it is? And I'll be like, sure. Or I'll be like, oh, so and so started dating so and so, you know, how I love to gossip. And she goes, she'll say, can I ask 20 questions? And then I'll say, sure. And then- Oh, to like figure out who it is.

Yeah. And so we will play that very, she's so good, it's stupid. And so the other morning, her mother was here with us and we're having coffee, chatting. Something comes up, Stephanie says, can we play 20 questions? Sure, we're having coffee, chatting. Something comes up, Stephanie says, can we play 20 questions? Sure, we're playing. And then Stephanie's mother's like,

whoa, gosh, you're just as competitive as Stephanie. And I was like, what do you mean? And I realized when she pointed this out that if Stephanie asks a question and then she asks something on top of that question, I'm like, that's your fourth question. That's not like part of your third question. Right, right.

And so I get really competitive with this because Stephanie is, she's so competitive. She's so good at it. But in general, I'm just not terribly competitive. Like, I'm just not terribly competitive. Right. I can see that. You're like, yeah, so what?

I'm lost. Who cares? Yeah. I'm lost. Who cares? No. I remember doing long-distance cycling sometimes for charity. Even though it's not a race, some people still race.

And I was dead last. And it was a four day ride. Oh, four days. Was that the AIDS life cycle? What is it? One of them was. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. But it's like 100 mile days that you're cycling. Did your booty not hurt? I mean, it does, but you also spend a lot of time training and so you're building up to that moment. You're not just getting on your bike. I just picture just getting on the bike and be like I guess we're doing this. Yeah but you came dead last and you were like yeah whatever I had the experience. I came dead last but I mainly came dead last because I blew out one of my knees.

And you know those like clip in bike shoes in the pedal? Yeah. I rested my foot of the busted knee on the fork of my bike and use the other one to pedal nearly 50 miles. Whoa. And I kept picturing that my right thigh was going to be three times the size of my left by the time I reached Portland, Maine. But that's not the only time I just in general, I just, I don't, I don't, I just don't feel work, sports, any, any of that kind of stuff.

I'm just like, I just don't, I don't feel it. Yeah. I think you should introduce, instead of 20 questions, I play hide the peanut where one person hides a peanut metaphorically somewhere in the universe. And then you have yes or no questions to find this peanut. It could be in the past, the present, the future. It could be in a fictional place, a real place. And you'd be amazed how quickly you whittle

down like the whole universe and find this peanut. And you have played this? I played all the time. All the time. Yeah. All the time. Try and pull May from the hide the peanut game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll hide one right now if you want. Oh my lord. I've hidden one. I'm not good Oh, so we have to guess where it is. Yeah. Yes or no questions.

Is it in space? No. Is it on earth? Yeah. Okay, then what is it? That's how I am. Is it in Los Angeles? No. Is it in California? No. England? No. Is it in Toronto? Yes. Okay. Is it in the room with you now?

Yes. Okay. Just tell us. Just tell us. No, you're so close. Is it on your body? Yes, in a way. I give up.

What is it? In a way? Well, Tick, we've narrowed it down so much. I don't like games. By we, I mean me, you've contributed nothing. I don't like games. Where do you think I would keep a peanut? On my person?

In your shoe. In your ear. Pocket. Is it in. In your ear. Pocket. Is it in your hat? No. Mouth. Think about the pod. Oh, behind a picture frame.

No. Think about the pod. Ponties, it's in your ponties. It's in my ponties, it's in my ponties. Look at that. Good job. I got it, look at that. You did. I thought you were gonna be useless and then you really came through at the end. I got it. Look at that.

I thought you were going to be useless. And then you really came through at the end. That's truly how I play with Stephanie when she's like wanting to do 20 questions with me, you know, and then I'll guess some things. I'm like, what is it? What is it? I don't just give up. I think I want to, there's a lot of games that I used to play that I've not played in

many, many years and then I want to come back to playing again. Like what? Hopscotch, hopscotch. Is there any board game when people will mention board games and like, oh, I don't remember how that goes. No, I don't remember how that was played. Yeah, me neither actually. I don't know.

Just any kind of game. I wonder if we could make a handsome board game that's like Monopoly, but all the places are, you know, there's a pontoon, you can, or, you know, button factory. I'm a pontoon. Actually, if anyone's listening and wants to make a handsome- If anyone's listening. If anyone is listening to this pod, let us know. I love that song. Papa, can you hear me? Papa, can you hear me?

I should text Phillip and ask Little Big Town to do a question. Oh yeah, have a little big town. And tell them that Handsome's favorite pontoon song is on the pontoon. Well, why don't we get Barbara Streisand to ask a question. We don't don't we get Barbara Streisand to ask a question? We don't have any contact with Barbara Streisand.

Yeah, well, it brought up Barbara Streisand. Because of gentle Papa, can you hear me? Oh. Yeah, but we have to have some sort of in. We just did with Babs. Oh my God, if Babs sent in a video. I'd die. Hello, handsome. That would be be that's impossible, right?

I think it's impossible. She's not really wanting to talk to anybody. I feel like it's actually more impossible than say Obama, Paul McCartney, like the big name. Like Babs is really unreachable. I think she has like a mall in her house. Yeah. Where she can go. She has a mall in her basement where she can go shopping for antique dolls. I think like there's shops. Yeah, my friends have been there because I did I did this show called life and pieces

it was on CBS a few years back and her husband was on the show and and her husband was on the show and Barbara invited the ladies of the show, but the series regulars to their freaking house for lunch when they were doing the show. And they got to take a tour and see all this stuff and I couldn't believe it. Oh my God. I was not as, I was a recurring character, but not a series regular. So I wasn't in that, but I would have died to go. Imagine having a mall in your house. I would never want-

Tic was very confused. I'm so confused. I would never want a mall. She's never cloned her dog, I think, right? She cloned her dog multiple times. I can understand that. I can't understand having a mall in your house. Well, she wants to have a normal experience

and she can't just go to the mall, so she- And that's a normal experience, is having a mall in your house. Memories like the corner of my mind. I stand by guilty being the best. And we got nothing to be guilty of. I love. I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, guilty. And my favorite, favorite line or part of the song is that, make it a crime to be lonely or sad. Make it a crime. Yes. Make it a crime. Have the police pull over and lock you up.

Are you lonely or sad? This is illegal. But are they cheating on their spouses and they're saying we got we don't have to be guilty. Is that what it's about? I think it's about an affair and they're like. Oh no. Sorry. I'm gonna Google this.

Is Babs guilty? Yeah should Babs be guilty? I got an update for you guys. Well, I don't know if it was on a mini soda if I was talking about how I have a foosball table. Did I tell you guys that? Yeah. And my friend Matt, who lives in my back house, he's like incredible at foosball and I played him thousands of times. I've only beat him three times. And it's really something he's good at. And so I Googled, he's new to LA, and I found a foosball competition in Angel City Brewery.

And it's the only one in LA, it's every Thursday. And I was like, Matt, we should sign up. And boy, do we take it seriously. Every morning he's like, hey buddy, do you mind practicing with me? Like, he was really driven driven and we got dressed up. The day came, we were nervous. I was like, we're gonna be on their turf.

Whoever these foosball people are. Turf. Yeah, like they could be like jocks or savants, like foosball savants. Anyway guys, we won the tournament. What? You know why? Why?

Because no one else showed up. Oh my God. Congrats, Mae. It was so embarrassing. Wow. It was more embarrassing than losing. It was just waiting there with the signup sheet at the bar. We signed up and just no one came.

And so me and Matt just played. Dang. Where's the foosball community? Where? Well, do you know the comedian Kelsey Cook? Kelsey Cook. You all might not have crossed paths. She lives in Minneapolis now. She used to live in L.A., but she's an incredible foosball player

and plays in tournaments and stuff. So really, you know, so is Lisa Gilroy. And but she wins largely because her shit talk is so funny that you're like doubled over. She does this thing where she goes, you want it? You want it? Well, you can't have it. So you're telling me Lisa Gilroy is funny. Oh man. You want it? You want it? But you can't have it.

I and you can't like your muscles get weak from laughing. It's a really good, but she is also a great player. I like that, the table shuffleboard game, you know, at a bar. The big long one that you do with your hands, with the salt. I love those. There's like salt on the board or whatever. Oh, to make it slide? It helps it slide. I love those. There's like salt on the board or whatever. Oh, to make it slide? It helps it slide.

I love that game. Maybe you have to get one of those. Are you going for a full on bachelor pad, Mae? It's becoming, do you almost call me Max? I don't know. My mouth is moving and sounds come out. I don't know. It's becoming Pee-wee's Playhouse, my house.

I bought a Zoltar machine. What is that? You know, like from big that tells your fortune and Zoltar. Oh, so you have one of those in your house? I thought I'd ordered a full size. It shows up. It's this big. It's like tiny.

You wanted full size. I wanted full size. I want it full size. I think the smaller one's better, no? Why? Cause it's not some giant head. I want the giant one. Funny, I gotta come to this bachelor pet at some point to see what's happening over there.

I'll get that shuffleboard game if it'll make you come. I mean, that shuffleboard game if it'll make you come. I mean, that sounds... Pfft! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! We're very mature over here. We're so pure.

So are you loving this house? It seems like this was a good investment, huh? Loving this house. Yeah, I really am. And it feels like home now? Cause I had asked you in the early days, is it feeling like home? You said no. Yeah, it is feeling like home.

Yeah, yeah. And like a real homeowner, like stuff is breaking and then I got to get it fixed. And I kind of like it all. It's such a, I'm jealous of that feeling of the beginning of trying to make a house feel like a home. Like it's such a fun, new experience. Yeah, it really is.

Where you like go to bed at night at first and you're like, oh, this is a strange room. This is where am I? And then boom, one day you are home. Yeah, yeah. And no one can kick you out. No landlord's gonna say, as long as you pay your bills. Well, I mean, did you buy your house outright?

Because people could. What do you mean? No. Do you have a mortgage? Yeah. They could kick you out if you don't. Yeah, you have to keep paying. But I'm, who's gonna kick me out, the bank?

Yeah. Yes, they will take your house. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. No, I mean, I mean, I'll pay the mortgage. The bank will be like, this is mine. Thank you. Bye bye. I already bought this. Get out of my house, bank. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check that you put all the many ingredients for your elaborate smoothie on the shopping list before heading to the grocery store. Checking First is smart, so check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.

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Please support our show and tell them we sent ya. Experience the new standard in bras with Honey Love. I still have so many things not on the walls at my house and I've been here two and a half years. Yes, maybe you need some big art, like a big giant piece. Well I don't know if I'll end up selling this place and I kinda want something smaller.

Right. It's too big and now it's just me, so. You wanna move into my back house with Matt and his girlfriend? Well that's definitely too small. I would like, my last house I adored, it was the best and I made it exactly how I wanted it. It was a little too small.

So I want something in between these two. It's a good like fresh start. I mean, I was post-breakup, bought the house and it was distracting and felt empowering to like make your space your own. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not in a hurry. It might not be anytime soon, but at some point. Tell us that you're going to bring that fake plant with you. If you move. This is coming everywhere with me. I love that this is how I'm juicing up my zoom box. Where do I put my plastic plant? I might make this other room in here a little handsome spot with a chair and everything.

You guys just wait to see. What do you mean a handsome spot? Like a little corner of this room, I might put like a chair and like hang something up on the wall. Definitely the fake plant. But I mean, handsome meaning when you record handsome? chair and like hang something up on the wall. Definitely the fake plant. But I mean, handsome meaning when you record handsome? When I record, that will be my spot.

Yeah. OK. All right. Right now I'm just at my desk, but I might make a designated handsome spot. Do you think you'll ever move to like when the boys go off to college or whatever? Would you guys move?

We have talked about, you know, potentially selling our house when they graduate and just moving back into our office, which is, you know, just a little bungalow that we love very much. It's kind of a sexy vibe, the office. It's unusual the layout and there's like,'s stained glass and stuff. It's beautiful. Yeah. We really love it there. And we love where we live now. We just have, I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but we have never done our house because we moved in when Max and Finn were one and they were so nuts that we didn't even have furniture in the living room for the first like till they

were two. And then like adultified the house. No. And then by the time they finally kind of calmed down, we never put art on the walls. We just we were we just had these two little lunatics running around. And then by the time they kind of pulled it together It was a pandemic and then we couldn't even deal with you know Doing doing our house or having somebody come in and then so now we're getting to that place where we're like Max and Finn are so chill and the pandemics over and let's actually Do something with with our house. Did you ever watch those like extreme home makeover shows where like they always they

ask the kids what they're into and then they'll say one thing and then they'll turn the room in like they'll go I kind of like horses and then they'll run with it and they'll turn the bedroom into like a barn and the kids are always like okay, I don't know if I'm that into horses. Maybe I'll redo your house. You tell me what you're into and then I'll surprise you with Zoltar. Yeah, Stephanie wouldn't, that wouldn't fly with her. She's not chill with what is in the house. So I know right away Zoltar wouldn't fly. Or any surprises. Yeah, okay. Not one surprise will fly. I mean to be fair I don't know that I'd want Zoltar in the house. Yeah, that's fair. Max and Phil might be into him.

Yeah, I think for sure. But maybe you could surprise them and put one in there. Well, they each have their own room. That's two full-size Ultars. Should we get into our question? Yes. I'm really excited about today's question. I feel like it's been a long time coming because this is a friend of the pod, Alison Brie. Oh, I already gave away her name, but today's question. Still a friend.

Still a friend. Still Alison Brie. This is a handsome pod and is really awesome. She's the best and she's an actor, writer, producer, best known for her starring roles on Mad Men and Community. She was nominated for a Golden Globe for playing Ruth on Glow and has appeared in films like Somebody I Used to Know and Promising Young Woman and her new movie with her husband,

Dave Franco, together, which is apparently so terrifying and I can't wait to see it. Alison Brie is asking today's question. Nice. Hi, handsoms. Alison Brie here. Um, huge fan. Tig, Mae, Fortune, big fan of all three of you. Huge fan of the pod. Okay, this is Otis.

My question is, was there ever a time... Aw! Was there ever a time in your life where you consciously decided to try on a different personality? And how did it go? I'll give you an example that's not my answer, which is that a friend of mine in high school switched schools like sophomore year. And at the other school, she went by her middle name

and just had like a totally different personality. And then when she left that school, she just went back to using her regular name, her first name. Have you ever done anything like that and how'd it go? First of all, I did not realize that Alice and Brie was gonna be a part of Kitty City. First of all, I did not realize that Alice and Brie was gonna be a part of Kitty City. Yeah, she's a Kitty City gal.

Otis. Otis was really getting in there. I know. And I loved her attention to Otis when he came in for kisses when she was mid question. I mean. She's got her priorities straight, is that normal cat behavior? I thought they were more standoffish.

They can be standoffish, but man, can they be snuggly, lovey dovey. And all three of our cats are very standoffish and lovey dovey. I've never had a cat. Otis had like a, almost a dog vibe. That's kind of a dog name, Otis. And then, yeah, he was.

Yeah, I love that question because I'm constantly paranoid that I'm accidentally. Changing my personality, like I feel like I have a loose grip on my personality and I'm up for it changing. Like it sort of is easily influenced? Not as much anymore, but definitely as a teenager. Oh my God. Like, and really similar experience was I would go to summer camp every summer

and I'd kind of decide who I was going to be or see when I got there, like, yeah, what would be most useful socially. And I think I've said this on the pod, but I went to camp one summer and I go, yeah, I may, but everybody calls me maple sugar. And everyone's like, no, they don't. I'm like, no one called me that and it didn't catch on. And then I was always acting really tortured

and kind of mysterious and like, yeah, I got some stuff going on back home. You know? And wait, what made you think maple sugar? What'd you say? Maple syrup? Maple sugar. Maple sugar was cool?

I think because May Pearl is my first name. Yes, which I love. Thanks. I think it was because it was middle school. So it was just in the two year period where I had long hair, the only time in my life. And I think I was keenly aware that I was not feminine enough. And all these cool girls were in my cabin and I thought maple sugar sounds kind of like a cool femme name.

Like I would maybe be a cheerleader or something. Give it up for maple sugar, y'all. a cool femme name, like I would maybe be a cheerleader or something. And it did not fall. Give it up for maple sugar, y'all. It's such a long nickname too. Like it's like a drag name. Yeah, my three letter name. They call me this sentence. Yeah.

Do you think you were like telling people you had a lot of stuff going on back home hoping they would be like, what's going on? Tell us like an attention thing. Would you tell them what was going on or would you make up like, well, my dad's a bandit? I think I did lie quite a bit around that time, like middle school era. Like I definitely had a fake boyfriend. But it was a- Hey, don't we all?

Don't we all. It was like, it was this friend of mine, Cliff Cardinal, he wrote me a letter at camp and then I decided to pretend that the letter was like my, he was just my friend. Like a love letter? I had a crush on him. Yeah. And I pretended it was like, there's some stuff going on with my boyfriend. Like he's having a tough time. I wouldn't let anyone read the letter. Yeah. He would not believe what is in this.

Yeah. Cliffs. Burning it really quick so no one can read it. It's very private, don't even ask. And the letter was like, hey bro, hope you're having a good time. Yeah. What about you guys?

Like I take, I feel like you were genuinely to your core that that cowboy person. So you weren't, it wasn't, it wasn't an affectation. I mean, I definitely leaned more into it. And, you know, I, I was, I was a little rebel chip on my shoulder. I've, you know, I'm still working through all of it as an adult. You gotta have your, you have to have your little shell to protect you

and use your whatever personality, part of your personality to hide everything. So, yeah, but I was really, you know, the kid that was off in the woods and in the creek and smoking and failing and sneaking out of the house and doing all that, you know, driving around in the car without a license when I could barely look over the steering wheel.

Like that is all factual. I have many people that can back up all of this information about me. But I would say on an unfortunate, really unfortunate level, the times that I have changed my personality has been when I've felt fearful in a public bathroom or something. You know you get like weird looks or You know, how do you who are you? How do you identify and I've noticed myself sometimes trying to like fem it up a little bit when I go in the bathroom You know

And then I just think God it's so pathetic that that I would have to To do that. Yeah. So no real funny story there, but yeah, that's really the time that I notice it the most. And that's a point that I always use to people that, any sort of confusion somebody has around trans people or non-binary people. It's like, it ends up policing all, all women, like cis women as well.

Everybody, everybody, you know? And so, yeah, it's, it's just a weird little moment in life where I'm like, excuse me, excuse me, I'm just trying to get in the stall. I just have to pee pee. I have to tinkle. I can't believe I didn't wear my dress today because it'd be so much easier to just fling that thing up in the air.

I've been called sir in several bathrooms and I'm like, really? You get called sir? Yeah. I've had a woman once in an airport bathroom be like, this is the women's restroom. I'm like, yep. I know, I've said the same thing. I'm like, oh, that works out perfectly. Yeah.

Yeah, it always feels like a minefield to me constantly on guard. Did you guys ever, when you first started comedy and you're in love with comedy and you're in green rooms with more experienced comedians, like, try to adopt the persona of a comedian almost like, like, yeah, good, good set. Yeah, like the tag. Like, you know what I mean? I was so excited to be part of that community that I'm sure I was like, you know, with my little notebook and trying to.

And then dropping your voice a little like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, nice sweep. I don't know. I don't know. That doesn't feel familiar. It doesn't feel as familiar as me saying, excuse me. I just have to get a tampon out of my purse. I got a plug mccooter. You hear that in a stall in the bathroom.

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for just signing up. That's thrivemarket.com slash handsome to claim the offer before it's gone. Thrivemarket.com slash handsome. Fortune, what about going to college after living in a small town? Like that's a chance to be a different person. Yeah, I was like cognizant of like not changing too much because my mom, she listens to this, she's like, don't worry, you're bringing this up. But my mom used to, back in the day, whenever she would, after my parents divorced, she went through a couple of relationships. And in those relationships, she significantly changed to be who she thought that those particular

men wanted her to be. So that always bugged me because I didn't understand it. I was young and I was like, why are you being somebody you're not? In the most extreme version of that, one was he was very conservative. I had talked about this in my Sweet and Salty special where he just, like my family had gone to Hooters their whole life and he just was like,

not into that stuff. And she was like, I have never been to Hooters in front of them. Although I have been to Hooters in front of them. Although I have been to Cooters. And even though that story is very funny, it's based on her completely changing for this person. Yeah. So I always had that in the back of my head of like not veering too far off. But you know, when you're young, you're still kind of trying to find yourself.

So you have to sort of try on different hats to see like, well, who am I? And so younger days, sports was a big part of my personality. But then in college, I had this weird thing. I hung out with a lot of church going people. And so I kind of tried that on for a while. Like, I'm a church gal. And yeah, that was probably the most,

the biggest swing away from my personality. But you do love the Lord, right? I love the Lord. You're just looking for community, right? I think I was looking for community and my family was pretty fractured at the time. My grandmother had just passed and I was a bit lost. So my grandmother died the day after I moved into college. So I was experiencing this brand new school. I didn't know anybody.

I was lost. I was sad. And so those are the times when you're the most susceptible to any influence. And so I met some really great people who are religious and kind of was like, well, let me see what they're doing. I like hanging out with them and their church was all about family and stuff.

And I think it like made me want family and crave that. And so I thought, well, if I do that, then I can create a family for myself one day and just eventually realized that, oh, this is not me at all. But yeah, and then I tried like theater in college too. And maybe I'm a theater kid and I liked it, but it was in the irony is that I act now, but I'm not a theater kid. Really? I feel like you not a theater kid. Really? I feel like you got some theater kid.

You like a musical. I love a musical. But you know that dramatic like- Oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like expressing yourself in big ways. I'm not quite that. And so then when I moved to, when I eventually moved to LA,

it was when I came out, I think, was like, anything up until coming out was like, I'm sort of blown with the wind here. I come out and then I'm like, oh, I know who I am. And it just set me on this journey of like, being so much more comfortable in my own skin, doing what I wanted to do, not trying to fit in elsewhere. That was the thing that really set me on my path.

You took off your bonnet. And I would say right in this present day time, going through all the changes I'm going through, the one thing I've realized is I know myself better than I ever have. And I am so much clearer on what I want. That I've ever been. I guess it keeps changing your whole life till you croak, right?

Yeah, and that fluidity is so important. Yeah. When you started doing comedy, did you guys try different, like I feel like I just impersonated other comedians sometimes if I got excited about us, like trying to be like Bill Hicks or whatever when I was like 14 and that's like, that's not me.

Oh my gosh, can you get me some video of you 14, doing your best Bill Hicks? Well, I used to smoke cigarettes on stage cause you could still do that. When you were 14? Yes, and I did one time get booed off stage cause. And do you have footage of this? No.

Because I'm gonna need to see it. You got booed off stage cause they didn't like you smoking? It was a New Year's Eve show. I was 16 and me and my boyfriend at the time did like two person stand up. He was much older. We said we were siblings. It was weird. But anyway, we were smoking and we were just very like misanthropic and negative.

We didn't realize that people had paid for this $100 for this New Year's Eve gala. And everyone was making a real effort and we'd barely prepared anything and we were smoking. We thought we were so cool. And everyone was like, why is this child smoking? And so they started going, nah, enough. And they were right. They were honest. They were like, enough. They were like, enough of this. First of all, why aren't children smoking? I don't know. As a child, I don't know how, like we were watching a movie the other night with Max and Finn and there was chewing tobacco that some of the kids in the movie were chewing. And Max and Finn are like, what is chewing tobacco? They're nine and I was chewing tobacco.

I was dipping, I was smoking. If I couldn't get my hands on any of that stuff, I would roll coffee grounds and typing paper. I was just like, how on earth? I'm truly looking at them like they are aliens. You don't know what chewing tobacco is? But these younger generations are much more pure than we were, I think.

It's not in movies as much. Like, what were you watching? The Sandlot Kids or something? Yeah, we were watching the Sandlot. Yeah. Aw, wicked. I wanna re-watch it. I used to watch the Sandlot back in the day.

Yeah, but they're just like, and they have questions about cigarettes. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I don't know where they would have ever run off and experimented with anything like that. But because my parents were certainly not keeping an eye on me. But cigarettes are way more taboo now than back then.

Back then I felt like people just smoked all the time. It was taboo for me to be eight smoking cigarettes. Well, eight for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's wild. My parents smoked in the house and yeah, it was very, I mean, it was every restaurant you go to and yeah. But Tink, did you- I did not miss those days.

Did you always have the same style on stage or in the beginning where you were like, hey everybody, what's up, I'm T, I gotta, I can't imagine that. I feel like, I mean, I was so influenced by Paula Poundstone's ability to write just such a solid silly joke and then also be able to do the most tremendous crowd interaction. Oh, the crowd work is unbelievable. I mean, unreal. And I mean, she was the one comedian I would always go see.

I would never miss a Paula Poundstone concert no matter where I lived, no matter how old I was. Really? Oh yeah, absolutely. And she's just ridiculous. But that was my goal was to be a good storyteller, joke writer and be able to interact with the audience. And I don't know that I ever felt like, oh, I'm just a carbon copy of Paula Poundstone.

You know, I was never in like suspenders and a bow tie or anything like that, which thank God she's still wearing to this day. She has not. She is Paula Poundstone through and through. She was born in suspenders. Oh my God. This person is Paula Poundstone. I mean, her name says what she, I don't, you know what I mean?

Like, Paula Poundstone. Yeah, you gotta be a comedian. You are Paula, this is Paula Poundstone. Anyway, you know, I certainly had moments, like I was very, in like more recent comedy influence. I certainly loved Mitch Hedberg. Yes. I mean, you know, even though I wasn't dry and yeah, yeah, it just spoke to me.

It definitely spoke to me. It takes confidence, I think to sit to okay with silence, to be slow like that. And so I feel like it would take it. Yeah, I'm still not there where I can do that. But like, did it take you a while to settle and to know you had the skill to like sit in that and then pull people out of it? Well, I think for myself, like as a comedian, all the different things I've tried from joke writing to storytelling, I've done prop stuff,

not like in a traditional way of like I roll out of, you know, a case of- Tarot top. Yeah, but I want to try everything. And then I feel like all of those roads that you go down, you still, even if it's such a leap from another type of comedy, you still find your voice in there.

And I think that that's what I realized was every road I went down, here's my voice, here's my voice. So I can do whatever I want to do. You know what I liked? I just, I keep talking about it because I'm obsessed, but the Pee Wee Herman documentary, the Paul Rubin's documentary, I obsessed, but the Pee Wee Herman documentary, the Paul Rubin's documentary, I didn't realize that Pee Wee started as a character

who was a standup comedian who was doing it for the first time and showing, and had props that were his toys. He was kind of like a child standup. So he was in the Pee Wee suit and he'd go out and do bad standup and pull out like a dinosaur toy and show the audience and stuff. But I love that, that that was the genesis.

Yeah. I think he started at the groundlings. Yeah. You got to watch that doc. I'll have to check it out. I for sure want to see that. And by the way, when I was in Nantucket, multiple people were coming up to me to talk about your doc.

Oh, really? Yeah, they were coming up going, hey, I just saw Tig's doc and I wept throughout and I was like, great. Yeah. People are talking about it. You find that they, oh, the new, I was thinking of Tig. I was thinking of your own doc. Oh yeah, no, the Andrea Gibson documentary.

Gotcha. I want to see it. You will. We're going to have a screening in LA and then Apple bought it. So we're all very excited that it's going to reach a wider audience, but it's man, is it life affirming? Yeah.

And it really, I say to everyone, it's impossible to not walk out of that theater and think, what have I been doing with my life? I mean, true, but like in the most inspiring, exciting way, of course you have all these emotions about Andrea and their partner Meg and all these intense deep, but also so many funny moments,

but it's just so beautiful and it's just still killing it on the festival circuit. It's crazy. It's crazy, crazy, crazy. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to seeing it. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for bringing that up because I tell your friends if you've seen it

because it's really worth seeing and so much like so perfectly time for a big heaping pile of compassion in this world. Is what I've seen happen through this film. I kind of feel like, cause it is mainly teenagers and kids that are trying on different personalities like that. And I kind of feel like that's a pretty healthy way to be because we're not our personalities. Even if it's

so authentic to you and not on purpose, it is sort of a performance or it's an accumulation of influences and experiences. There is like a core. Anyway, I just think maybe we should all be a bit more fluid about our personalities. You could wake up tomorrow, brand new day. You go, I'm really sarcastic today or like, I'm, I'm going to be a ray of sunshine. And yeah, we don't really know how you feel about something or if you're into something, unless you try it. So I'm always like, I always think, especially younger people, like, why not sign up for this thing or join this club or play that sport or be in that play?

Like, give it a shot. And I stand by, there is nothing better than finding out what you cannot stand and who you are not. Even more so than who you are. You know, like, I love finding out the stuff I, I never want to do again, or I don't want to be in that world. Yeah. You know, or whatever, whatever it is. I'm like, I love that as much as I love finding things that I, that make me happy.

Yeah. We tell ourselves so young, we start telling ourselves stories about ourselves, like, I'm bad at math, or like, I'm, you know, I'm funny, or I'm, you know, and then that's like a little coffin for your self, you know, you kind of break out of it. I do stand by I am bad at math and, you know, my brain just oozes out of my ears as soon as I look at X plus Y times blah blah blah blah.

Yeah. Blah blah. You just get a handle on math in school and then they introduce letters and words to it and it's like. It's not fair. Or Y. Yeah. And now my mom is being totally herself but she has also been single for a very long time. That's, there's some of the sad firsts, the single life in terms of really being yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. Has your mother ever gotten on apps to date? She did it back in the day. I think when she met her first boyfriend after divorce, it wasn't in an app, but they used to put ads in the newspaper. That's so right. Yeah. So they-

Maybe like Pina Colada. Yeah. No pictures. Nothing. Caught in a rain. You just looking at each other's grammar. Um, but yeah, I believe they meant that way. Didn't there used to be a thing where you can leave, you leave a voicemail that's like, hi, I'm May.

I like, you know, facts. I think maybe back in the day, there was something like that. And wait a minute, right. So people would put an ad in the paper and you don't have a clue what this person looks like. Yeah, no. You just show up and there is someone

that likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yeah, when I first came out, Craigslist was super popular, especially, I don't know if it was just in LA, but everybody was on Craigslist at the time. And I found like a soccer team and a softball league. I found Ultimate Frisbee. I'm still friends with some of the people I met during these Craigslist days. But I, I went on a couple of dates via Craigslist ads and no, it was the no picture days. And was it, was it shocking when you arrived? I mean, not one person was, it wasn't even about looks,

but not one person was my type or had anything in common. I went on three dates. What a shot in the dark. Could not get out of all of them fast enough. Yeah. And then I was like, I'm not doing this again. Do you know what? I think I'm remembering this story correctly,

but of course, who knows? But let's just assume I am. You know the comedian and writer, Jesse Klein? Oh, actually. Okay, she's so funny. But she, I ran into her, I can't remember where I ran into her, but this was several years ago.

She saw a guy in like an airport or a grocery store or something, probably, you know what, probably an airport. I think they were running to their flights and she thought to herself, what if he saw me and felt the same? Because she thought she saw a little some look in each other's eye type thing. He put an ad in the paper and they reconnected. No. Wow. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is an actual story. And they weren't a match. Ultimately, I think he was like a tennis player I can't believe I remember the details I was so blown away because they did not talk Wow they just glanced cool you know the actor Coleman Domingo yeah he has been with his husband now I

think like 14 years they walked past each other on a street and like kind of both clocked each other and did, I don't know, maybe it was Craigslist, one of those sites, they put a misconnection in there and somehow they saw it each and got together. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Isn't that wild?

It's like a needle in a haystack. That's like crazy. Absolutely. We got to bring that back. Miss Miss connections. There must be still enough track here. There's no, there's nowhere for Miss. I don't know where people go for Miss connections. Now there's no website or something. Yeah. Yeah. But that was a big thing on Craigslist too, is a whole Miss connections. Let's start a handsome Miss connection website. There we are. we found it. Oh no, another thing on the list.

I don't know if we're gonna get to it. Thomas. Well, should we hear what Allison has to say, even though we went so far away? That's what we do here. That is what we do here. That is the business we are in. Allison, tell us, tell us.

Yeah, I've honestly probably done that a bunch. But a time that comes to mind is when I was in college, I did a semester abroad in Glasgow, Scotland. So I went to a really small school, CalArts. It was super incestuous and gossipy. And when I did this semester abroad at an even smaller school, the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, I made a conscious decision to just have a more free personality, I guess. I just didn't want to be self-conscious in any way.

And I figured, you know, I'm just gonna, you know, I'm just gonna be going to school with these people for like three to four months. Who cares? Like, what if I got to lose? I should just be like the freest version of myself. And so I did. I just would like the whole time I was in Glasgow, Scotland, I was having honestly the best time and and almost being like my truest self

literally would you know with headphones in I would dance down the streets, just dancing down the sidewalks. And in class, I was always like the first person to, oh my God, Maxie wants to be involved in this question as well. The first person to volunteer to try something like improvised capoeira, just like put me in coach, like game for anything. And the students there were like, are you like this all the time? And I was like, no, not really.

But once I did it, I would say the effect it had was that I realized that that actually is kind of my truest self and my truest personality. And so I just tried to kind of retain a lot of that in my life moving forward. And I think that I have. It's a good way to be anyway. Yeah, that's great. All right. Love you.

Bye. Love you. All right. Love you. Bye. Love you. Mean it. And you come across people in your life too that help bring that out of you as well. That's always nice. It is weird when somebody brings out a side of you that you rarely to never see. The goofiest side, the better. I went to a dinner party with my friend, Matt, and I guess we'd been very

respectable at the dinner party, talking to people we'd never met, getting to know people. And then we left, and as we were walking to the Uber, he goes, time to be weird. And I was like, yes, that's what I want in a friend. That's a great answer, though, from her. Yeah, it is. It's nice to feel free like that where you're like just not really editing yourself and, yeah. I love put me in coach. I think about my days of attempting to be straight, that was a fun challenge. I can't accept that.

I can't accept that. Hey guys, what are you doing? That's what takes the bathroom voice. Yeah, we bump into each other in the bathroom. Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm on a date. Oh my God, I love your flannel. Where'd you get that, girl?

I love your lip taint. I got it, forever 21. Sweet. This is why I did not go on many dates with guys. My best acting work to date. I know, I was going to say that's so perfect for Allison. Just like act like a whole different person. Yeah, and then find out what parts of that you want to retain.

Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm just going to talk about what's next. What we're, what we're up to. Um, I'm guest hosting Jimmy Kimmel, the, his late night talk show next week, uh, July 20, let's see, 22nd through 24th. I'll be a late night talk show host for three nights. So exciting. Can you slip in a keep it handsome? I know I got to, I got to.

So I hope our handsome listeners will tune in. I'm a little nervous, but very excited. I'll be wearing some suits and interviewing some fun people. Are you going to bring back your pink suit? Not the pink suit, going to do something different pink suit? Not the pink suit. I'm going to do something different. Okay. All right. Yeah. I'm pumped. This is a really cool opportunity.

Absolutely. Yeah, that's amazing. Can't wait to see. And then I just have a stand-up July 20th in Edmonton with Mattel Lane, Montreal July 26. And then starting in September, San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Richmond, DC, Atlanta, New Orleans, all those good places. Excellent places. I'll see you in Montreal.

Yeah, May and I are doing a gala together in Montreal, which I love Montreal. Oh my God, it's such a great city. It's so great. It's so great. It's so great. I'll be there also the night before on the 25th doing a show at the Olympia for Just For Laughs. But other than that, just check out, I got two new songs out on my my earnest music album, I'm a TV. I got two new sad songs that I added to it. So they're on Spotify and spread the word, tell your pals. What about you Tig? Well, I'd love to share with you August 17th,

I'll be at the West Hampton Beach Performing Arts Center in West Hampton Beach, New York. August 23rd, I'll be in P-Town at the Provincetown Town Hall. And then September 27th, Beau Rivage Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. But yeah. Oh, and please share your favorite episode. Also review and subscribe, subscribe to the podcast and also to our YouTube page.

This is a great community and we feel very lucky for all of you. And so let's keep growing it, shall we? Yeah. Great. Until next time. Keep it in. Keep it in. Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster.

The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod.gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod. That was a hate gun podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking all state first. Like you know, to check that when you're headed out to stargaze, you bring a blanket. You don't want to get soggy lying in a dewy field all night with your stargazing buddies. Checking First is smart.

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