Handsome - Amanda Kloots asks about throwback songs

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

The multitalented Amanda Kloots throws it back with a question about catchy tunes! Plus "my cucci", your mom jokes, and plenty of Fortune singing!Watch our live show replay for the next week! Tickets: dynastytypewriter.com/handsomeHandsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whether you're buying a new home or are an existing homeowner, you want to save money on your home insurance. You're looking for ways to save without a lot of time and effort. That's where Allstate can help. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings.

Savings vary. Traditional bed sheets can harbor more bacteria than a toilet seat. It can lead to acne, allergies, and stuffy noses, and it's just gross. Miracle Maid offers a whole line of self-cleaning antibacterial bedding such as sheets, pillowcases, and comforters that prevent up to 99.7% of bacteria growth and require up to three times less laundry. Go to trymiracle.com slash handsome to try miracle made sheets today. And whether you're buying them for yourself or as a gift for a loved one, if you order today, one if you order today you can save over 40% and if you use our promo handsome at checkout you'll get three free towels and save an extra 20%

Miracle is so confident in their product it's backed with a 30-day money-back guarantee so if you aren't a hundred percent satisfied you'll get a full refund upgrade your sleep with Miracle Made Go to trymiracle.com slash handsome and use the code handsome to claim your free three-piece towel set and save over 40% off. Again, that's trymiracle.com slash handsome to treat yourself. Thank you Miracle Made for sponsoring this episode. Handsome Pod. Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers.

Welcome to the Handsome Pod. It's Fortune Feimster. And I'm May Martin. And I remain Tignotaro. And we're us. We are, Fortune. We're us. Oh my God. Nobody else is us. Just us. Yeah. Unless they pretend to be. Yeah, or some quantum, like other, you know, parallel universe where we're the same. It's us just making different choices. Yeah, but it's them. Yeah, it's them, you're right, it's still not us.

Yeah. You know what I wanted to tell you is, I was in a tiny town. I was in a tiny town too, you go first. Okay, all right, I was in a tiny town, somebody yelled, yeah ghost. No way. And I turned, I was like, yeah ghost.

And they stuck their hand out of the car and did like a rock and roll sign with their hand. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, my kids were like, what did they say? And I was like, ah, they yelled yeah ghost. They believe in ghosts. Long story. You're like, it's just something they do in this tiny town.

Yeah, exactly. It's so fun, especially when people are real casual about it Long story. You're like, it's just something they do in this tiny town. Yeah, exactly. It's so fun, especially when people are real casual about it because a woman actually was really casual about it to me also in another tiny town. I was going to get in my rental car and she made some handsome reference and I just, oh, I think she was like, yeah, keep it handsome. I was like, yeah, you too. And then I just got in the car and that was the end of that.

I like that. Fortune, what tiny town were you in? I went to a tiny town in Canada. I had a few days off of work in Jackson. I went up to a town called Picton. I know it. You do? Yeah, it's up around cottage country.

Yeah, I didn't know Canadians. Well, I found this out last time I filmed in Canada, but they love them some cottages and lakes. Yes, they do. Yeah, I mean, that's like our core thing. That's like our whole cultural identity is like, well, yeah, I went to get some Rocky Road ice cream, went up to the cottage. Summertime, Canada, it's all about them lakes, especially in Ontario, because there are tons

of lakes. So we wanted to get in on this cottage situation and have the most delightful time. They have all these wineries up there, but what I love the most is that it's near all these farms. And so all the restaurants in town are very unassuming and they all have like amazing food because it's coming from all these local farms. And I was like, Tig would be so proud of me.

I was eating vegetables. Oh, is that where you tagged me? You tagged me? Yeah, yeah. I tagged you on that winery and then Jax was like, post it tomorrow because we're still here. And sometimes I usually don't post things in the moment that I'm there.

Right, right. I post some like a day later, a couple of weeks later. Well, because Jax and I went to a winery because she was excited because they were vegan. Jax isn't vegan, but she doesn't eat dairy. They had all this plant-based cheese. She got a cheese platter had all this plant-based cheese and she got a cheese platter that was all plant-based and they were the first winery that was vegan certified.

And so I tagged Tig. Oh man. Well, how was the cheese? It was really good. It was tasty. It was really cool platter. It looked very fancy and she was pumped because she doesn't usually get to partake in the cheese. Yes.

I'm feeling patriotic. I like that. Yes, it was amazing. We went to these great little restaurants that had all this fresh food. I went to this one place called Stella's owned by lesbians, I believe. They had the freshest vegetables. Lesbians I believe and they had the freshest vegetables. So tasty. Lesbians always do.

They always get fresh. Sprinkled his dyke dust. And the vegetables were like my favorite part. I was like Tig would be so pumped right now. I would. That's so great. Yeah, I love a fresh vegetable. I have to say.

You would love it up there. Well, you know, I ordered this vegan grain bowl at a restaurant that will go forever unnamed. Okay. I could not believe how there was no taste. It was just grain. Well, no, there were grains in there, sweet potatoes, all sorts of vegetables.

It looked like a dream come true. And I could not believe that I couldn't have more than maybe five bites. I was like, how did you mess this up? And they completely messed it up. I like plain flavor. I have a very simple palate. I would have been like, oh, it's like baby food. You would have gobbled this, it's like baby food.

Gobbled this right up. Oh, you don't like too many flavors in your mouth? I don't, well, I don't know. I love flavors. I don't think I do, but I have a, I'm in Toronto as well. So the crew is super Canadian and I have this driver called Joe who I really love peeling the layers. Hi, my name is Joe. I have a wife and three who I really love peeling the layers. Hi, my name is Joe.

I have a wife and three kids and I work in a button factory. One day my boss came in and he said, Joe, are you busy? I said no. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Shout out, Joe. Shout out, Joe. So I like peeling the layers back of this guy.

He's sort of in his 60s. And I know I, I, at first he was really shy and quiet. And then now I'm learning. So he has this farm up in Sudbury that he goes every weekend back to his farm. He's got a rooster called Jeff, and he brought me farm fresh eggs. Then he brought me some smoked mackerel or something. I can't remember what type of fish was delicious. And then now worry I've peeled too many layers back. He's like, yeah, I'll bring you some moose meat. And I was like, I don't know if I eat. I don't know. And he said, I'll cook it up for you. Have you had moose?

No, never. And I, yeah, no. And then the new thing that's really stuck in my head is he said, it was like three in the morning, he's driving me back and he goes, yeah, I got a video of my buddy, Greg wrestling a bear 1993 in a bar. He goes, I got a VHS of it. Yeah, got a VHS of it, but we'll have to get a VCR so I can show you. And that's all I know. And it's in my head and I'm gonna have to see this video.

So this guy, I mean, when you film VHS back in the 90s, you have a huge clump of equipment on your shoulder. He said he was into editing and filming and he was in a bar and his friend, Greg, there was a bear who had been maybe rescued from a circus or trained from a cub. Oh, it didn't just come into the bar. Oh, that's what I was thinking too.

You could win $1,000 if you could wrestle the bear. And I mean, and he said, I couldn't do it nowadays. Oh my God. That poor bear took so many wrong turns. I know, of course. But it's, and at first I thought, oh, I don't know if I, and now I'm like, I have to see it. He said, that's really cool.

That makes me think of that Nate Brigazzi joke in his, maybe his latest special where he talks about how you could box an orangutan at a circus back in the day. Oh my God. It was pre-internet. It was pre-internet so people couldn't warn each other to hold, wrestle an orangutan. They're unbelievably strong. And you couldn't Google how strong is an orangutan? Right, right. I think if anyone lured me somewhere into wrestling,

anything or anyone, I don't have it. You tap out. Yeah, and it doesn't. You don't strike me as a wrestler. Yeah, I wouldn't be like, oh, let me at that. I got this. I'm always like, I, let me at that. I got this. I'm always like, I'm certain you could take me down. I've seen videos of the big kangaroos

where a guy that had to box a kangaroo, you know, the big massive ones with the huge muscles? Yeah, I've been face to face with them. You have? Yeah, I was in Australia with Kate McCoochie and... That sounds sexual. Well, it wasn't. McCoochie. Fortune Marie. Don't mess with McCoochie.

Fortune Marie. Do you think Kate's ever gotten that? Not once in her life. My coochie, what about your coochie? She's never heard this. There's no chance. There's no chance she's ever heard. Macoochie. Anyway, I digress. Continue. You sure do.

So you're with Macoochie in Australia. Kate. And better known as Macoochie. Oh, fortune. My God. My God. My God in heaven. I'm with my dear friend, Kate Makuchi, who does not deserve to be treated this way. I love Kate for sure. She is a delightful human being. She is. My apologies, Kate. We had heard that there were kangaroos at a golf course, that this golf course they hang out at. And we're like, and she's like,

oh gee whiz, Tic, we gotta go. You know, and so we go. She does sound like that. That's more offensive than Makuji. Oh gee whiz, Tic, we gotta go? I mean, that's how Kate talks talks and that's why everyone adores her So and she might also love that her last name's Makuchi Fortune Marie

so Kate and I go find this golf course and We have you know those old like flip video cameras from yeah, don't even know, mid 2000. I don't remember. Yeah, a little camcorder. Yeah, they're really tiny. It's not a camcorder on the shoulder situation. And we're filming each other at this golf course.

This huge, I mean, these are like muscular men, like seven, eight foot tall men. They're so big, these kangaroos. Keep talking. And we're just like, oh, you know, men, they're so big, these kangaroos. Keep talking. And we're just like, oh, you know, like, oh my God, look at this. And I'm like, kind of honest in a standoff with this one kangaroo and Kate's like, oh, geez, Tig.

You know, and we're thinking we're having a grand old time. Then we go meet my friend. I don't know if you're familiar with the incredibly talented musician from Sweden, Jens Leckman. We meet him for dinner and we're telling him about our day and he's like, what? He was like, you were face to face. He was like, they are, they're violent creatures. And we're like, what? It's like their own steroids. Yeah. Nobody told us. Yeah, what? It's like they're on steroids. Yeah.

Nobody told us. Yeah, they're gonna beat the shit out of you. Not just that. He said what they do is they pin you down, use their huge feet, leg situation to kick your guts out. That's how they kill you. So we were laughing so hard thinking about like if that had happened to me,

that my Wikipedia page would have said at the bottom, the disembowelment of Totoro and then just described the gory detail of when the kangaroo kicked my intestines out of my body. How close were you? Oh my God, like an arm length and I was like, oh my god. I was just like, hey there. Hey there buddy. Yeah, I mean we just, we thought, it was essentially like, we thought they were like large squirrels. Yeah, that's crazy. Which they are not.

Yeah. That's a wild animal to evolve, eh? Why did that happen? Why do they need to be so strong? Aren't they eating like leaves? I don't know. Well, that's like vegans. I mean, you know? Right, right. I was hoping you were like,

then we met up with our friend Larry McCooder. I cannot believe you are going back to this absolute nonsense. I was also sitting there with Larry McCooder and Kate McCoodger and I told them about how I almost died. How old are you? Tell us your age. 25, I can finally rent a car.

But that is crazy. You did get very lucky. This podcast almost didn't happen. I've seen videos of men having to punch these things because the kangaroo was trying to eat their dog. Yeah. So would you rather you- Wait, do kangaroos eat dogs? That's a good question. I brushed over that too fast.

I don't know. I thought they eat leaves. I thought they eat leaves. Maybe it wasn't trying to eat it, it was trying to kill it, it was trying to do something to it. May, could you come up with a May fact or something? Well, yeah, what I know about them is that the babies,

when they're born, are the size of a mouse. So the babies are born way too early and then the little mouse has to crawl up from the macoochee and get into the pouch and then germinates once outside of the body. So like it's born, it's still a little tiny worm fetus. So why are you saying they're born way too early? Are they, yeah, kangaroos or herbivores?

So they're not trying to eat a dog? I didn't know they didn't eat me. Okay, then why are you spreading fake news? It was clearly trying to kill the dog. I guess it wasn't trying to eat it, but it was trying to kill it. Isn't that so dangerous to have your little fetus just tucked in a little pocket that you're wearing on the outside of your bod instead of, like most animals, they're born, they fall, they hit the ground running, they're off, right?

I mean, on my old podcast where we covered documentaries, we talked, we watched the documentary, and actually we just watched this on vacation with Max and Finn, The March of the Penguins. Oh yeah, so good. Such an incredible documentary. But what I started was a chant after watching that. I was like, give penguins a pouch.

Give penguins a pouch because these eggs drop out and then a penguin has to balance it on their toes with their like front bottom belly hanging over to keep the egg warm. Yeah, I can attest that's not easy. That is not easy. And so my god, give penguins a pouch. A pouch. Why are kangaroos getting them over a penguin? Can we make merch that's a sticker that says give penguins a pouch. A pouch. Why are kangaroos getting them over a penguin? Can we make merch that's a sticker that says, give penguins a pouch? We can, but it's connected to my old podcast. Maybe you own a home or maybe you're about to become a new homeowner. Either way, you're going to want to save time and money by switching to Allstate

for your home insurance today. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. When my cats are healthy, they're happy. And that makes me happy.

But since I'm not a mind reader, I don't always know when they're unwell. Helping me keep tabs on my cat's health is just one reason that I use Pretty Litter. Pretty Litter's ultra absorbent crystals trap odor instantly. No more cat bathroom smell. I love that Pretty Litter doesn't get dusty and it lasts way longer than typical kitty litter. My cat's health is so important. It gives me peace of mind to know that Pretty Litter

is helping to keep them as safe and healthy as possible. Pretty Litter helps keep tabs on your cat's health and keeps odors down. You and your cat are gonna love Pretty Litter as keep tabs on your cat's health and keeps odors down. You and your cat are going to love Pretty Litter as much as Tig does. Go to prettylitter.com slash handsome and use code handsome to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. That's prettylitter.com slash handsome code handsome to save 20% and get a free cat toy. Pretty Litter dot com slash handsome, code handsome, terms and conditions apply, see site for details.

But I mean, people really got behind it. After watching that documentary, you tell me if you are not on board with Give Penguins a Pouch. Give Penguins a Pouch. That's the chant. We should never, the three of us, be at a protest together. No. I just learned that elephants worship the moon.

Elephants have a religiosity. They bury their dead, they'll make a circle, and when it's a full moon, they'll wave a branch at there at the moon, like celebrate it. Oh, Tig, you're pointing at Elephante there in the background. Yeah, thin stuffed animal, Elephante. We're in the presence of a mystical beast. Yes, indeed. I guess I don't really know many facts about elephants in general, but I definitely didn't know that.

I have a weird thing that I heard. Please, please. Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. Okay, I'm gonna tell it to you and then you tell me if it's as weird as I think it is. Okay. Okay. So my friend Carolyn Taylor, who's already like a very mystically inclined person sort of sees signs everywhere and things. So she lives up in Prince Edward County, like this little town in Ontario. That's the area I was in. Yeah, totally. Prince Edward County.

Yeah. Vegan cheese. A lot of vegans up there. And she has a friend called Serena. A lot of gays up there too. Well, exactly. So they walk between their houses. They go through these long walks where they talk and they walk kind of back and forth between their houses. And one day they said, hey, we should measure, we should count the steps. See how many steps are apart our houses. So they're like one, two, three, they get to 926. They double check it, they triple check it. They're like,

okay, interesting. 926 steps between our houses. Cut to Carolyn Taylor is at her apartment in Toronto and she realizes, oh my friend Serena is also in town and has a place in Toronto as well. And they meet up and they're walking and they say, wouldn't it be crazy if our Toronto apartments were 926 steps apart? They count it is exactly 926. She goes, I triple checked. They did it multiple times. Who has the time? I was going to say, were they on vacation, on holiday? On holly bobs? After COVID? But it gets weirder. We're so bored. Especially triple checking 900 steps. Yeah, triple checking would be so hard. One time through is utterly insane.

I'd lose count at like 300. I'd lose interest as soon as somebody said, let's check. Let's count the steps. I'm going to go home. But they're, at this point, freaking out at that it's, yeah, like that is bizarre, right? What are the chances? Then one night they're sitting around

and they got a chat GPT, the AI search engine, they've got that up and they're thinking, hey, we do both have cottages as well. And it's their 20 minute drive apart. So they're not 926 steps apart. But we should, I don't know. And then my friend goes, what does it mean when you say as the crow flies? Like how many flaps of a crow and what is that distance? They ask chat GBT, here's the two addresses. As the crow flies, how many flaps are cottages? And it says approximately 900. And they say, well, is it possible it's 926?

And it says, yes, highly possible with wind, it could be 926. What is going on? That is weird. Your friends might be witches. Yeah. Do you think maybe we live in a simulation? If we're in a computer program

and the programmers are just like, these two avatars are always gonna be roughly 926 apart. Yeah, I guess that's probably what's going on. Oh. Right? I think so. I think May's onto something. That's the only explanation. There's nothing else that could possibly explain this.

Got to be that we're in a simulation. Well, if any of our listeners though know anything about the significance of that number or have any... 926. I've been Googling. I can't find much. Well, September 26th. Is that important to anyone?

Yeah. Does that mean anything? You should ask your friends. I'm writing it down to ask later, September 26th. I never thought of that. Okay, well, I think you need to think about that. We're really onto something here. Yeah. It feels like we're piecing together something, yeah.

You know, the Mayans used to build things in relation to the calendar and the moon. Fortune fact, fortune fact. And like Chichen Itza, isn't it like 365 steps or something? I don't know. Somebody Google that. I'm a failure dropout.

By the way, I ran up that pyramid. Chichen Itza, you ran up that pyramid? Yeah, I was in college and I was studying the Mayan ruins in Mexico one summer with some classmates and I got dared to run up this pyramid, I believe it's 365 steps. And it was the middle of summer, you know, scorching hot. And I go, no problem. Ran up it and I made it and then literally almost passed out and fell off my head. Oh my God. Worth it. Because going up that, my professor saw me in the act and said she had a heart attack

because going up that high, that fast is very dangerous for your body. And she said I could have had a heart attack. Oh my God, she scolded me later. But what happened to nerd fortune? Cause it seems like when you were that age, right? You're kind of shy. Oh, like why am I not academic? Well, I'm just saying it feels like something

I would have done or May would have done. It doesn't feel like you would have been caught in the act of anything. Whereas May and I would be like, yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'll go smoke a cigarette on the top of that. Oh, you mean the rule follower. Yeah. Yeah. I see.

Yeah, that was very out of character for me to take on a dare or challenge. And I don't know why. Because I didn't get anything. Like they didn't say. There was no incentive. Only almost a heart attack. Yeah. My friend said my face turned blue when I got up to the top of it and they, and I

was like kind of wobbling, like I was about to pass out and they had to ask a stranger at the top of the pyramid if they could have, if I could have their water. Oh my God. Imagine if both of your Wikipedia's ended with these insane deaths. It was like disemboweled by kangaroo and ran up a pyramid. You weren't, you weren't well known yet, right Fortune? I was not known at all. So nobody would have ever known that happened. No one would have known. Yes, it does have 365 steps total. So in line with the calendar, the year. And yeah, I was 20 years old. So were you going through like a particularly extroverted time

where you were like, you know those like periods of your life where you're like that summer I was really funny. Yeah, it was pretty fun. You were fun that summer I was really funny. Like I was pretty fun. You were fun that summer. I was pretty fun on that trip. Yeah. Yeah. Which is wild that I mean, I was so into history and I spent almost a month studying Mayan

ruins. That's amazing. And you almost made herstory. I know. That's right. Yeah. And what we got. Falling down Che Chichen Itza.

What we got from that was you going, didn't the Mayans kind of build something about the calendar? I know, I can't, it's been so long. I'm like, I forgot everything I learned. Your next special should be called Falling Down Chichen Itza. With Kate McCoochie. With Kate McCoochie. I Remember just like having the best time but I don't think I was paying attention much to the Stuff I was supposed to be learning at the pyramids to go back to Kate McCoochie It might bring you some joy to know that Kate

To know that Kate had a show For a long time called plan with McCoochie. Oh, there you go. So she's in on it. She's in on it. She's in on it. Okay, good. Now I'm better.

All right. All right. Starring Kate McCoochie and Larry McCooder. Well, you know, our question asker today is a friend of Kate McCoochys and mine. In fact, the three of us get together often with our children and they all come over to our house, which we've named Silly House. Oh, it's so fun. I can't even tell you. Kate's son and our guests, her son are younger than mine.

And so it's really cute to see Max and Finn playing the big kids at the Silly House. I don't think I even realized that Kate had a son. Yeah, she does. I don't think I even realized that Kate had a son. Yeah, she does. I knew she had a kid. Yeah, he's four I think now. Oh, okay. Makuchi's been busy. Makuchi. Somebody's been busy playing with Makuchi. So today's questioner is a TV host, dancer, and fitness and not just a dancer I have to say. What is it? Rockette.

She's a rockette. Yeah. Yeah. And fitness instructor who currently co-hosts the talk on CBS. She wrote a best-selling memoir titled Live Your Life and competed on Dancing with the Stars. Amanda Klutz is asking today's question. Hey, handsome pod. It's Amanda Klutz here.

Okay, my question for you is, is there a song from your childhood or your teenage years that if it came on the radio today, you would still know every single lyric to even though you haven't heard it in years? If so, what's the song and why does it mean so much to you? Great question. So I recently met Amanda. I know you guys are friends, Tig, and she was so lovely. I had followed her story, like a lot of people from afar during COVID. She, you know, unfortunately lost her husband, Nick, to COVID, one of the early

losses that caught the eye of everybody. She was so positive in that experience. That was just such a tragic time for not only herself and her family, but for so many people. tragic time for not only herself and her family, but for so many people. Um, and just her story and Nick and their family just really like captured the hearts of everybody. And I had to admire her, um, from afar, just how she has handled that and forged on in life as best as possible and just seems like a great person. And it was really cool to meet her. And it is wild in these times to like know someone's story to such an extent and have

not met them. But you met her recently? Yeah. Yeah. She came up to me and told me that you guys were friends and she listened to the pod. And yeah, she just seems to have a pretty amazing spirit. Yeah.

I want to meet her. Yeah, she's the best. And I know she's gone to your shows, Mae. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, nice. She's seen you at Largo and thinks you're awesome. Oh, thanks, yeah. Oh, she's new at Largo and and things. You're awesome. Oh, thanks, Amanda. Yeah Yeah, Amanda is one of those people

who Just has that I always describe it as like their chest is just ripped open wide and they welcome Mm-hmm all all things into their heart and soul. And yeah, and I actually, my childhood friend who is my son's godmother, Beth, she's very similar. Just those kind of people that they're just pure openness. And- Yeah, I just want to experience every aspect of life.

Yeah, they're just they're open, they're friendly, they're loving. I'm just blown away by that kind of approach. And yeah, we got to surround ourselves with people like that, who say yes to life. Yeah. Yeah, she's someone who I still root for so much, even though I don't know her that well, just having seen what she went through and what the amazing love story that she had shared with her husband

and raising their young kid on her own, I just root for her so much. Same, same, same, always. Me, not so much for her. Yeah. So much. Same, same, same. May not so much. May doesn't root for anybody. Just kidding. I always definitely like to remind people though that even as open and loving as Amanda or my friend or other people might be to to not keep them in this corner of joy and openness because I think that can be a hard place to crawl out of when you're not feeling joyful or open. And that always, it's just something that I always try to remember is that they are

as open and loving as they seem, but also- There's other shades. Yeah, people are more complex and you should allow that for your friends and your friends should allow that for themselves. Cause everybody's got a friend who you're like, oh, so and so is coming to the party and she is a joker. She's hilarious.

She's so... And then they show up and they're like, I'm having kind of a bad day and everyone's like, okay. I'm a downer and you're like... Way to ruin the party. It's especially weird when you're a comedian or... Yes, yes. An entertainer. Yeah, you're having a bad day or a bad night or any of

those things and it's understandable from time to time or just being human out in the world. So Amanda's question was about songs from childhood and adolescence. That's right. If it came on right now, you would just immediately know every single lyric, even though you haven't heard it in a very long time. This is a very weird reference. There is a singer named Martin Bryley, and he had a song called... I've never heard of Martin. I'm sure most people haven't. I think he was a one-hit wonder in the 80s, Martin Briley.

And the song was Salt My Tears. Oh my, okay, we got a... Thomas, can we find it? I don't know this. It sounds like a banger right off the top. You ain't worth the salt my tears. I Think his name is Martin Bryley It is Thomas. Yeah. Oh my god. Can we hear it? We ain't worth the salt in my tears is such a good burn Yeah burn I definitely thought it was going to be more like old school, obviously singer from the

forties or something. Oh wait, Martin Briley? Yeah, like that does sounds like he was a star of like, Little House on the, or like a local on Little House on the Prairie. Like, let's go down to Martin Briley's house. Martin Briley's farm. Is it just me or has TV gotten really complicated?

I'm either endlessly searching for my favorite shows or I'm subscribing to a dozen different streaming services to make sure I can watch everything that I love. Thankfully, Philo has changed all of that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. Philo's got current seasons of the shows I can't miss live on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery, and TLC. Classics like The Office, Martin and Friends, things that I never get sick of and all of their incredible originals on AMC+,

from Mad Men to Orphan Black. Don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and rewatch anytime for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like Friends and Fatal Attraction. Best of all, with Filo, you get all this for just 28 bucks a month. No contracts, no hassles, just one subscription and a world of entertainment.

Go to Filo.tv and check it out for a free seven-day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O.tv to start watching. This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy created by and starring Brian Jordan Alvarez and from the executive producer that brought you What We Do in the Shadows. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English teacher premieres September 2nd on FX, stream on Hulu. That was more rock, like a rock kind of vibe. Yes, that was great. That was great.

I can't believe I pulled up his name. I got my song right off the bat. I don't even need to tell you the title of it. I'll just say, here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what's my weakness, man? Yes. What's my weakness? Huge muscle of kangaroo. Salt and pepper, shoot. Yeah, that's a good one. The problem with it, because she specifically said that you haven't heard in a while and I just haven't moved on at all in my musical taste. So I'm listening to the same songs from my teens

like Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind. And that one, I'm packed and I'm holding, I'm smiling. She live and she go down, she lives for me. Said she lives for me elevation, but what motivation? She comes round and she goes down on me. And I make her smile like a drug for you. What you wanna do? Come on over here.

I've never seen something like that before. You're gonna get a call from Alanis Morissette for sure Yeah, you are. Oh man. I hope I get a call for Martin. Is he still alive? Yeah, what's from Canada? I would almost say yes that he's from Canada What if it said Martin Brierley died on September 26? He's English 74 and alive. Hello Martin Brierley I knew he went from the States. Oh, here I go. Here I go. Here I go again. We'll just keep singing that over and over again. So we should get him on the pod. We got to reach out.

Martin Briley? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Is he still putting out albums? I love that song. Fortune's still on Shoop. You never loved me. Pushed and showed me. Okay, then chillin', chill, chilling, minding my business. Oh dear, we've opened a real. I can't believe this. I swear, I said, my knees is my witness,

a brother had it going on or something kind of, oh wicked, wicked, had to kick it. I'm not shy so I ask for the digits, oh no, that don't make me see what I want, slip, slide to it swiftly. Okay, when is the last time you heard that won't slip slide to it swiftly. Okay. When is the last time you heard that? A while, but I love that song.

I think the last time I heard Martin Briley was 1986. I feel like people are listening to this and a handful of people are pumping their fists, doing shoot along with Fortune. And then some people are, because there's always someone at the karaoke place who does Shoop. Lick him like a lollipop should be licked. Can't do my senses and I chill for a bit. Oh, don't know how you do the voodoo that you do so well.

Here's a spell, hell, makes me wanna Shoop, Shoop, Shoop. Shoop-ay-doo, Shoop-ay-doo, Shoop-ay-doo. You should definitely do Martin Briley karaoke. I went to him. I love that you're just talking over Fortune singing. I don't know what, at this point I don't know what. May still have a love-hate relationship with me over the Atlanta song.

I just don't know if we have the rights to shoop. We could get sued. Yeah. I think if I speak sing them, it's okay. Yeah. I went to China with my dad when I was 20 and we went and did karaoke, the two of us. And I said, what are you going to sing?

And he goes up to the person running the karaoke and goes, do you have tie a yellow ribbon around the old tree? Is there anything sweeter than that? He was like, no, sorry. Tony Orlando, right? Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me. Twice on the pipes. That's a different song.

If the answer is no. That's knock three times. I'm thinking of somebody Orlando. Well, Tony Orlando sang. I thought it was Tony Orlando. Is it not? Well, we were talking about tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree. Yeah, Tony Orlando sings that.

Okay, but we're not going into just any Tony Orlando song. Why not? Why are you not impressed that I know another Tony Orlando song? I'll give you some. Thank you. Did you know Tony Orlando sang Taya Yellow Ribbon? I pulled out another Tony Orlando song out of my asshole.

And you're like, why are you doing that? Fortune, don't make us picture that. I was impressed. I'm like, wait, I know another Tony Orlando song. I don't think Tony Orlando is still alive. Thomas, let's Google it. Is Tony Orlando still alive? I'm a darling.

I'm going to bet my place as a handsome husbanduff that he's still alive and he's 80. Tony, if you're listening, thank you. You're probably impressed that I know your song. I mean, Martin Briley, he's got to be thrilled, right? I know this is the most love he's gotten. No offense, Martin. I'm a big fan. You know the yellow ribbon thing around the old oak tree? Yeah, yeah. Is that like a story? Like why is someone tying the ribbons again? I mean, that's kind of like, you know, keeping hope alive or in memory of, or that kind of vibe.

As my understanding is what tying a yellow ribbon around an old oak tree is. I could probably call up a number of Disney songs from my childhood. Hold that for one moment. The origin of the idea of a yellow ribbon as remembrance may have been the 19th century practice that some women allegedly had of wearing a yellow ribbon in their hair to signify their devotion to a husband or sweetheart serving in the US Calvary. Oh so it was being like I'm taking my guys away. Yeah, tie a yellow ribbon around the old

hairdo. Yeah, thought it might lead to more of a riff, but more of a clarity. But no, it is just- What a wonderful phrase. No passing craze, no worries for the rest of your days. It's our problem free philosophy. The cool number tada. It means no worries for the rest of your days. Okay, anyway. I just made up fortune. I just remembered another song from my time.

I can show you the world. Take you under by one. I got a whole stack where I came from. Anyway. What is that 70s song? Something about the smiling. Keep smiling. Keep shining. You can always count on me. Nope. That's not it. You can always count on me.

Nope. That is not it. Cause that's what friends are for. Do you know who did the voice of Simba in the Lion King? Fortune, your mom. Fortune, you are, we just made up. That is so low, dude. That is so low.

How dare you bring May's mom into this. That is so low, dude. That is so low. How dare you bring May's mom into this? That is so low, man. Well, I'll tell you, it was Matthew Broderick. Really? Yeah, he did the voice of adult Simba. Oh, I never knew that. Thomas Guest Smiling Faces sometimes. That's not it.

It was Debbie Boone. She sang it. That was the singer. Debbie Boone. It was Debbie Boone. She sang it. That was the singer. Debbie Boone? Who's Debbie Boone? Guys, I am older than you. You're like Mickey Rooney. Oh, speaking of Mickey, singing of Mickey this morning at breakfast. What is her smile song? At breakfast this morning, I was saying how it just dawned on me. Mickey Mouse, his name is Michael. Oh my God. That's good. It blew my mind. I was telling Max and Finn. Michael Mouse? Yeah. That's really good. Michael Mouse. That's

really good. I'm a fan of that. And then Minnie Mouse, is that Miniature Mouse? What is her name? Minnie. What is Minnie short for? Is it short for something? Miniature? Well, that's what I just said. Miniature Mouse?

Does that mean the serial killer Michael Myers? Minneapolis? We are all over the place today. We can't. Poor Amanda. We're all telling different jokes. We're all on different riffs. Thomas, did you look up what Debbie Boone's song was? You light up my life.

Ah. You light up my life. Join in, May. You give me. May just took off their headphones. How dare you? Do you know that song? How dare you?

Do you know that song, Mae? It rings a bell. It reminds me of the Lady in Red. This is so embarrassing. My 70s and 80s references. Oh, Lady in Red. I'm like, how about Mark Riley and Debbie Boone? I'm gonna go take a nap.

But that is objectively better music than the music I grew up with. I just listened to my parents' music. Oh my God. Oh wait, fortunately. I know. Truly, we just made up. I know.

You're gonna start the Atlantis fight all over again. May, you haven't answered this question yet, have you? Yes, I have. You were too busy. Oh yeah, the motivation. I answered it. I sung it. I tried to move on. You know what's weird is Stephanie was singing that song today, oddly. Ask her about 926.

She was singing that song today, claiming it was Sugar Ray. And I was like, no, no, no, dear. That is not Sugar Ray. No, dear. No, dear. One of our biggest fights today. No, dear. Should we hear Amanda's response?

Yes, please. We shall. Light up my life. Thank you. Good night. Okay. My answer to this question is the song Stay by Lisa Loeb. I was obsessed with this song. I actually kind of still am, but I just remember being in my bedroom in Ohio, laying on my twin bed with a cassette player and pressing play and then stop and then writing down the lyrics and then rewind pause play writing down lyrics writing

down lyrics I did it for the whole song until I had the whole song written down I memorized the whole thing and I still to this day can see like if it comes on the radio I'm like I don't listen hard don't pay attention to the distance that you're running to anyone anywhere do the whole song And it just brings me right back to my childhood and I love it and I still love the song. Stay by Lisa Lowe. God, that makes me think about the days where you couldn't Google lyrics.

You did have to like buy the CD and like scour through the lyrics in the CD sleeve or you had to do that where you listen to it and write it down as they were. I think that's why I get a lot of lyrics wrong. Or you have to scour through the vinyl sleeve. Okay? Yeah. 70s over here.

I think I've like made a point of memorizing lyrics before. Like I think that third eye blind when I listened to it and like sat down and learned it. When I was a kid, I was so deeply obsessed with the Beatles and would listen to them. I'd write their lyrics down. I was all the time. I was so obsessed. And my grandmother, I was visiting her.

She was living with my aunt and she had like final stage of Alzheimer's and she called me into her room and sat me down and thanked me for this poem I had written for her when I was, I think I was maybe nine. And I had to sit there next to her on her bed and take credit for Lenin and McCartney's song that I had. No. Yeah, the song that I had. No. Yeah, the song When I'm 64. I had written that. Oh my God, she thought you wrote it?

She thought I wrote that. And because she was so deeply in Alzheimer's, I had to sit there and go, oh, thank you. Yeah. I'm glad you liked that. And yeah, it's just for you. Now your grandma's a ghost and going, what? What? You didn't write that? I took credit for the entire Beatles catalog. I did just Google who famous has died on September 26. Oh, Jesus.

I know, sorry. And there is a poet called Daniel Boone. And weren't we just talking about a Boone? We were. Daniel Boone is also related to… Wasn't he somebody in North Carolina? But also, Celebrity Birthday is September 26. He got Brian Ferry, Linda Hamilton, Serena Williams.

Wait, what was Debbie Boone's dad's name? He was a singer too, I think. I mean, this episode is like what it would be like if the three of us were in an old folks home together. Pat Boone, Pat Boone. Pat Boone, I actually know that name. He was an American pioneer. He's a folk hero of the United States.

Daniel Boone is? Yeah, I know my Boones. Gosh, this has been quite a journey. It really has been. Speaking of journey, don't stop believing. Hold up to that street light. We played that at our wedding. Anytime it comes on.

I always know those words. Yeah man. Street light. Speaking of Detroit, or was that a different episode? Was that this? Did you talk about Detroit today? That was this episode I think. About how I don't have a Detroit accent.

Okay well in that song they reference South Detroit, which isn't actually a part of Detroit. Born and raised in South Detroit. And we played that. So you think he was making it up? He probably just needed to write some words for a song. He didn't have Thomas there able to Google if there was a South Detroit. But for our wedding, Stephanie and I went back and forth. She was like, I do not want that

song played at our wedding. And I was like, Stephanie, come on. It is the song of all times. And then at the very- I think you told this. Yeah. Well, here it comes again. Here it comes again. I'm winding it up, babe. Don't you dare. And yeah, played it. And that was the point in the wedding when the Sparklers came out. And then to this day, Max and Finn love hearing that on their playlist

because that was at our wedding. And I'm going to tell that story again, I'm sure. That's right. We had a little wedding party and we had karaokeed and, uh, we sang closer to fine and everyone periodically would just yell, lesbians during the song. Did you yell damn straight? That's right.

Natalie mains was there. So she sang it with us. That's right. Natalie Maines was there. So she sang it with us. That's really nice. People, even though she's not a lesbian, everyone yelled lesbians in honor of lesbians. That's really great. She's not a lesbian yet. We haven't brought her over to our side. She'll be home soon.

But that was pretty cool. Oh yeah, singing freaking closer to final Natalie Maines, also another cool moment of karaoke. Fortune, would you sing at my wedding? Absolutely. A blood will start coming out of my eyeballs. I would too. My brother made me sing at his wedding and I'm horrified to this day that that happened.

I was in a dress, a sleeveless dress, you know? We don't know. Yeah, a tube dress. Oh. Yeah, a strapless, strapless, that's what it's called. My hair was back in like this slick bag. Oh my God, us trying to describe a type of dress. What's it called when there's no straps?

You're in like a tube or something. It was like eggplant color. And they made me sing a keeper of the stars, which is an old country song, but I sang it like falsetto, like so high. Let's hear it. It was no accident, me finding you. Oh my God.

That part's not bad, but it kind of was. The chorus, then it goes to the chorus, and I'm like screeching this song in this church it's like So I thank my heart to the keeper of the stars He sure knew what he was doing And I'm just like belted Tell me your dress fell down. Oh my God. Tell me you had a... It did not, but that was during my period of my life when I was really trying to be

straight. I was going to say you were looking for a boyfriend that night. Yes. If you hit a high note and your boobs popped out, that would be the greatest viral video. It might have. My skin had never seen the light of day. I was just probably like, I probably look like a ghost. Is there any moment in life

that would cause your boobs to pop out, Fortune? Can you give me a ring-a-ding and just say, I am, life is teeing me up for my boobs to pop out. Nipple gate. Yeah. Nipple gate. Yeah. If my, I'm here in a sports bra, if my boob pops out, something had to go very wrong. Wait, you wear a sports bra every day? In life now?

Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't want, I don't want those bras with the wires in it. I don't know what you do underneath your... Although we do have one sponsor for women's braziers, and I'm trying to get one in my size. So I'm going to try that one out. I hope that at our live show,

we do that thing in the horse costume with all three of us and that Fortune, you're at the front or the middle and your boobs pop out. And then our horse pulls Alanis Morissette on stage and then Fortune's boobs pop out. And then I say, I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars. And then there goes my boo. to the keeper of the stars.

And then there goes my boon. Boing, boing. I feel like I'm on mushrooms today and I'm not. I feel like you're on mushrooms today. I also love how much Googling this episode has. Oh my God. Google it up. All of us just like, yeah. But Amanda reminded us that there was a time in our lives that we didn't have Google and now we do.

Yeah. Great point. And that's great. Thank you. So thank you Amanda for reminding us. I'm really on board with Lisa Loeb by the way, that I think that was a great. I filmed something in Lisa Logue's bedroom once. Okay, now we're talking.

Well, that sounds a little crazier than it actually was. Yeah, actually in her closet, something like that. Anyway, that's for another episode. Well, that was a fun episode. That was absolutely nuts and fun. That's for another episode. Um, well, that was a fun episode. That was absolutely nuts and fun. I have new material I'm working out. Uh, go to Tignotaro.com for all of my show dates.

Uh, I'm at Largo dynasty typewriter and comedy bar. That's in Toronto. And then I have just a few sporadic shows coming up, um there. But also check out Hello Again, the Emmy nominated special of mine. And congrats to my wife Stephanie for the nomination for director. Here, here. There, there. I got nothing live, but definitely check out our handsomepod.com and see we got new merch. We're restocking old merch actually. Sorry.

That's all right. And yeah, I might do some random surprise shows in Toronto, but I'll put them on Instagram, won't I? Yes, I would like some random surprise shows in Toronto, but I'll put them on Instagram, won't I? Yes, I would like to promote world peace. Yeah, that's nice. Why have we never done that? Why have we been actively promoting war? Oh my gosh, my friend was talking to my kids and Finn asked her if she could have any superpower,

what would she have? And she said, fly, I would fly. And she was like, what about you? And he said, I would cure all diseases. Oh my God. He felt so, he was like, oh my God, I'm saying I would just be up flying around and he's hearing diseases.

He set her up for that. I was going to fly to hospitals and bring the medicine. That was so funny. What a podcast. What a podcast. Send an episode, send this episode to a friend and say to subscribe to this. Because that's, people are like, don't ever stop doing this podcast. Well, guess what?

If you subscribe to it, that keeps us going. Send it to a friend, that keeps us going. Yeah, send it to Martin Brierley. Yeah. Don't stop podcasting. All right, well, until next time, huh? Eh? Keep it handsome.

Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! Home insurance can be complicated, but it doesn't have to be.

With Allstate, you can save time and money by switching your home insurance. They make it so easy to switch, you're going to be asking yourself why you waited so long to do it. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023

who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary.