Handsome - Andrea Gibson asks about flirting

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Andrea Gibson blows our minds with their poetry and performance, and they're also one of the funniest people we know. So it's a thrill to have Andrea ask a question with a spicy theme-- flirting! Plus red tents, pick up line impressions, and much more.Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's hot outside and your nighttime bedroom temperature has a huge impact on your sleep quality. If you wake up too hot or too cold, I highly recommend you check out Miracle Maid's bedsheets. Miracle Maid sheets are inspired by NASA and use silver-infused fabrics that are temperature regulating so you can sleep at the perfect temperature all night long.

Go to trymiracle.com slash handsome to try Miracle Made Sheets today. And whether you're buying them for yourself or as a gift for a loved one, if you order today, you can save over 40%. And if you use our promo Handsome at checkout, you'll get three free towels and save an extra 20%. Miracle is so confident in their product.

It's backed by a 30-day money-back guarantee. So if you aren't 100% satisfied, you'll get a full refund. Upgrade your sleep with Miracle Made. Go to trymiracle.com slash handsome and use the code HANSOME to claim your free three-piece towel set and save over 40% off. Again, that's trymiracle.com slash handsome to treat yourself. Thank you Miracle Made for sponsoring this episode. Attention handsoms, do you want great home insurance at a great rate? Then check out Allstate. Switching to Allstate is

simple, straightforward, and could save you significant money on your policy. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. Handsome Pot, chatting with friends on the Handsome Pot, chatting with friends on the Handsome Pot. Cheers! Hello! It's me, your dear, dear friend Tig Notaro, and I'm sitting here, oddly enough, with my co-host.

It's me, your dear old friend, May Martin. Oddly enough, it's me, Fortune Feimster. How did we all end up here? I don't know, I just wandered into my room and the Zoom was on and we were already recording. Y'all were recording and I was like, I wanna be handsome. Mm-hmm, yeah.

Where's Biggie speaking of handsome? He's downstairs. He hasn't been up here in a minute. There's a small black ball on the floor there next to you. That's not Biggie's. Okay, okay, good. He does have a black ball area. Fortune!

What are we talking about out of the gate here? Well, first off, that's a door stopper over there. Okay, I thought it was a small poo. I did that as a small poo. Oh, it does look like a poo, yes. Yeah, and you were talking about, you thought it was Biggie's testicle or what? Well, so when we first got Biggie,

he was not nude when he was rescued. And when we rescued him from the rescue, he had been neutered. You used them as a doorstop. And that area was black. Oh boy. No balls. But, because he got neutered.

But. Wait, why was it black? Why was it? I don't know. Just a dirty patch? I don't know what made him that happen anyway. Well, you guys are looking handsome. You're looking great. Oh, thank you.

It's a new moon today. Is it? What does that mean? Yeah, I don't know. Means the old one's gone. Yeah, they recast the moon. Does this mean Mercury's out of retrograde? I hear that a lot. Oh, it has been in retrograde.

I don't know what that means, but I'm feeling it. Oh man, am I feeling. Man, am I feeling it. All I ever hear is like, oh, you're having miscommunication problems. Mercury is in retrograde. Yeah, I go, oh yes, that could be something to it, or we just miscommunicated.

But this is where I go back to, aren't there miscommunications when Mercury is not in retrograde? I assume so. Surely, surely. They're always like, don't sign any important contracts. But I'm like, well, I feel like- Who is saying this? Yeah, and also- Your reps?

Don't they know that you're signing important- Don't sign contracts, Mercury's in retrograde. But that's what you do. Every morning you sign something with your coffee. That would be weird in business to be told that, for sure. Yeah, if the person looking over your entire career is like, listen. they do it by astrology. Yeah.

Do you think? Yeah. What would happen if like, would the world fall apart if we were just like, let's try this. Okay, let's govern everything around. The world has fallen apart. Yeah, you're right. It's already fallen apart. Yeah.

Like my friend was talking about if you were conducting a symphony and you said, okay, instead of sitting in like the string section and the brass section, why don't we sit like all the Pisces together, all the Taurus is together and just see what happens. And then what happens? And mix it up, I don't know, it'd be cool. Anyways.

If the cancers were all together, we would be sharing feelings. Oh yeah, very emotional. That would be like the woodwinds. And a little moody. Are you a moody person, Fortune? No, only if I'm tired or hungry. And how often do you find yourself tired or hungry?

I'm usually satiated. Do you ever get, if you're moody and then someone's like, are you just tired or hungry? And then that's like super annoying when someone suggests that. And then you're like, yeah probably. No, I don't get annoyed by that. I'm like, finally someone gets me.

You feel seen? Oh my gosh, years ago, I dated somebody that said to me once, she said, oh, somebody needs their coffee. Oh, no, it's like, first of all, I understand that some people are that way. If you know me well, I am not somebody where I'm like, do not talk to me until I have my coffee.

I ate that mug, but first coffee. Well, actually my mug says, ask me about my cat. But I understand that people have that. I'm not, there's no judgment about that. I get it for you and you and you. For me, I am not a get out of my way. Right. Let me have my coffee.

That means if you're annoyed in the mornings because you're legit annoyed about something. Yeah, there was something going on. I was like, how dare you try and pretend that I haven't had my coffee. Probably every single month, there's like a couple of days where I'm like, I think everything's really bad and nobody likes me and everything is against me

and I think nothing's worth it. And then I get my period and I'm like, how do I every month, not for my whole life, I think that my whole reality has shifted for 48 hours and nobody could convince me that it's my period. Can't you get one of those apps? I'm sure, yeah, I gotta do that. I kind of don't wanna even acknowledge that it's my period. Can't you get one of those apps? I'm sure, yeah, I gotta just do that. I kind of don't wanna even acknowledge

that I get my period. I thought I wouldn't by now, cause I'm on testosterone, but let me tell you, my ovaries are chugging away. They're strong guys. Chugging and lugging. So you didn't wanna acknowledge that you had a period just cause you're like, I'm past those days.

I'm just like, it freaks me out. It doesn't. And so I just didn't engage with it in the way that I was like, oh, this is my reproductive system. I'm kind of like, I'm not gonna look too closely at it. I'll just let it out. You're like, I'll just wait till I have a podcast with hundreds of thousands of listeners

and then just mention it there. Yeah, exactly. Jack started into a little bit of a different person and I'll be like, is it that time? Yeah. And she's like, how dare you? Dare you, yeah. And then like two hours later, she's like, it is,

but I don't like that you assume that that's what this is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh, I am past all of that. That sounds nice. It is not as nice as it sounds because I have all of that. I think I've talked about it on here, but like medications and like with hot flashes and like the kind of cancer I had and the kind of medication I can take and the, it's just so like trying to figure out what to do, how to do it, when to do it, try this, these kind of, you know, my body is responding so crazily.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just a science experiment. Yeah, keep talking about periods. Just two just a science experiment. Yeah, keep talking about periods. Just two seconds, hold on. Wait, what? Did Fortune just get her period? Wait, what just happened? Fortune said, you guys keep talking about periods

and then stood up and walked away. Went and changed her tampon. Wait, what is, and now she's bringing in a plant. Fortune. What is happening? This is so mysterious. I don't. Fortune.

It's bringing in bushes. Fortune. Fortune, Marie. Why did you stop the podcast? You didn't even stop, you said- I'm gonna keep talking. You two keep talking about your periods. I ordered all this period talk to continue.

Then you stood up, you ground everything. Maybe he's subconscious about my background just being a black dot that looks like poo. So I was like, you know what? I do need to juice this up. And I got a bush. Oh man, does that look sweet. So does this change everything?

Oh yeah. If you guys aren't watching this on YouTube, you're really missing out on my background at the moment. Yeah, it went from poop to bush. But wait, was that the whole, was that all for that punchline? Like that was all leading up to? Oh, I didn't even know that punchline was coming

until I sat down. Oh, Portia's just such a comedy master. Wow. That she was able to fold it in. Wow. Without us knowing. Does it feel more complete though, my vibe? It's like you've drawn so much attention to it

that now it's like my brain is finding it very- You can't concentrate. You seem like an erratic woman on her period. It's not happened, it's not happy with. I'm gonna change the vibe around here. Yeah, yeah. So are you on your period, Fortune? I'm not actually think the baby Jesus.

I don't like it. You don't like it either, eh? No, I don't wanna, I'm never having kids. Yeah, that's how I feel. That wasn't towards kids. Hey! That wasn't towards kids, that was for periods. Tired of all the kid bashing in the world. No, that was not for the kids.

How dare you? No, I don't need this happening in my life. Do you think anyone loves getting it? Like it's like, can't wait. Some people probably are very like, I'm being reborn. I like this card. I don't know that anyone's. I'm cycling out of this and cycling into that.

Yes. With that voice. That voice. Yeah. I'm cycling into this and now the red tent. Now I'm cycling back in. Have I talked about the book, The Red Tent before where they all got sent out to a tent?

You go on and on and on about The Red Tent. No, I don't know about this. I just think that if it's a book about, was it, what times were they? Egyptian times. Olden times, I bet. I think it was the 70s. Is there such a thing as Egyptian times?

Ancient Egyptian times. You're the history box. Yeah. You tell us. It's been a while. In the times of Abraham and all the things, they would, the ladies during this time. Abraham and all the things. Yeah, this is from ancient Egypt.

And all that stuff. They would get sent out to a red tent when it was that time of the month, because ugh, gross. The men didn't wanna, we didn't wanna be privy to that. Yeah. And they were just like, I imagine they braided each other's hair and put lotion on each other and shared feelings and I was like, if I had to be in those times,

send me to the red tent all the time. Cause that's like when I was a closet lesbian, that was my dream scenario. Being in a tent on pillows. You were never closeted by the way. Closeted to myself. I just want to be in a tent with pillows, someone's laying in my lap.

You're putting lotion on. There's change, hair braiding, there's lotion rubbing on arms. This is like my college experience. Yeah, yeah. Cause I bet in those olden times too that it's not like the women were having a great time in the home.

So they must've been like a- Yeah, they were having to cook and you got a break. It's a break. Go to the restroom. Yeah, let me be with ladies and we're gushing blood, but we are happy. I would just, yeah, you could just fortune. You would just be like, I've got my period for three weeks this way.

Yeah, I'd be like, it never ends. What if this is somebody's first time hearing this show? Oh, gosh, oh, God. Send me to the red tent, is all I'm saying. Fortune loves a red tent. My fat husband with his beard and gross smelly body is trying to get near me and I'm like, it's that time. I have to go to the red tent.

And whenever Fortune's in her red tent, she always brings a little bush to put next to her. I bring this bush with me for the vibes. But yeah, anyway. Is that a plastic plant? Oh my God, it is? Fortune, please. You're blowing up my spot.

You're blowing up my spot. This is a fake plant. Do you have your period in that plant? Gross. Gross. Oh, I'm the gross one? I'm just talking about a tent. I don't even have my period anymore. You're both disgusting people.

Wait, Fortune, why do you have a plastic plant? I travel too much to keep this alive. Oh man. Think of it, May, as a plant that has been taxidermied. Okay. Now, do you understand now that we're speaking your taxidermy language? Just imagine that this plant has been stuffed.

I wasn't confused or lost. You're like, think of it this way. May, it's like this. It was a plant and now it's been stuffed. Also, it's fake. I just took, just took. Oh, all of a sudden there's a lawsuit. I'd love to be in that courtroom, by the way.

Yeah. I'm trying to circle back to say there are women that enjoy getting their period and they feel connected. They feel connected to being a woman. Right. And that makes them feel feminine and powerful. Yeah. And it makes me feel. Yeah.

What? You make me feel like a natural woman. Again, if this is your first time listening, welcome, welcome, welcome. We are a wildly popular podcast and believe it or not, we're all taken. Natural woman. We're all busy these days and if you own a home, that keeps you busy too. Allstate knows that you value your time.

That's why they want to help you save time and money when you switch and save on your home insurance policy. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023

who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. With summer in the rear view mirror and busier days ahead, now's the perfect time to save time and money when it comes to your dinner routine. Skip the meal planning and grocery store lines and cut down on food waste with HelloFresh's

convenient doorstep delivery and pre-measured ingredients. Easily customize your meals with protein or veggie swaps. And don't forget to check out HelloFresh Market for more delicious add-on items to jazz up your weekly deliveries. My last time I got HelloFresh, I did the quick and easy meals because I'm always on the go. They sent these homemade pizzas with these fresh figs and arugula and these really good salads. And so it was really perfect for whipping up a really good meal that didn't take a long time to make. And it tasted so good. For free breakfast for life, go to hellofresh.com free handsome one free breakfast item per box while your subscription is active. That's free

breakfast for life just by going to hellofresh.com slash free handsome. Hello Fresh, America's number one meal kit. I guess like it would make some people feel very gender euphoric to get their period if they're very connected. But like it might make me feel that way if I had like strumming my guitar on the road, on my horse or something.

Wait, what are you saying? You'd wanna be on your period strumming a horse? No, no, I'm like- Strumming a horse? Not in the red tent, you wanna be on a horse? Yeah, I'm like the equivalent, the thing that would make me feel very gender euphoric would be, I don't know, strumming my guitar on a horse.

Yeah, strumming my guitar. That would be an embarrassing moment, honestly. That's like the people that take the pictures, like a saxophone player that has like a sideways beret and they're leaning against a brick wall with their one foot up against the wall. Listen, let them live. They love, they see those pictures themselves.

They're like, I nailed it. That is me at my best. And that's what I'm saying is you strumming a guitar on a horse. I think I'm sitting side saddle too. I'm sitting side saddle with dainty cross legs. I was gonna say a little too femme, a little too femme to be side saddle.

Yeah, a little cowboy. I'm a, it's a complex and nuanced gender. Are you riding bareback? I'm riding bareback side saddle. That's what I love. Bareback side saddle strumming my guitar. Little cowboy. Yeah, shirtless, but wearing long dangly earrings.

On your period. On my period. On the horse. Bareback. Oh God. That poor horse. Poor horse. Again, welcome to your first episode of the Handsome Pod.

Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Oh boy. Well, who else is talking about these things? I dare you to name one. I dare you. And you can't. Do you think a prosecutor in court has ever said to the jury,

I dare you to find my client guilty? I would think so, yeah. They would at least say to the jury, I dare you to find anyone else that's gonna prove what I've proven today. They're like, hey jury, truth or dare? Jury's like, dare? I was always reluctant to play truth or dare.

You were reluctant? Yeah, because I didn't have a lot of beans to spill anyway, but I didn't want to be dared. So if you said truth and they're like, Fortune, how come you always try to put lotion on us? I would just be like, and I wouldn't want to say back then because I'm a lesbian. Yeah.

So I would be like, dare, and then I wouldn't want to do the dare. Yeah. So wait, what do, dare, and then I wouldn't wanna do the dare. Yeah. So wait, what do you mean you didn't have a lot of beans to spill? Truth or dare, usually you're revealing some kind of deep dark secret, right? Yeah, or some spicy.

Right, you have no secrets. I don't have a lot, I'm sure I have some, sure, yeah, but I don't have a lot of spicy things. You wanna tell us a secret now in the pod? Oh, should I tell you guys a secret? Anything that you have never told anyone before in your entire life. Is this truth or dare right now?

Anything about your period? Any specifics about your period that you told? Mine's very short, only three days. Really? Really? I've never told anyone that. That's a secret. Jax doesn't even know? No, she knows.

Oh, no, she knows, okay. Three days, every 21 days though. Hey, that's very regular. Again, if this is your first episode. And May, how long is your period? Thomas, we don't know that. In total, it's stretching between four and five. Do you think we've lost any male fans?

There's nobody listening at this point. Do you think this point. What do you think the males are doing that are listening to this? Are you talking about baseball or something? I think people underestimate men and I think maybe there'd be some guys who are interested. There's gotta be a part of them that want to hear this. Oh my God, dudes wanna hear that fortune bleeds for three days.

Oh God. Every 21 days. Yeah, there's not a guy alive that doesn't want to know that Fortune, do you use Maxi pads, Fortune? We have to get off this topic. Yeah, we gotta move on. I refuse. Fortune's trying to distract us

by holding up a coaster of Biggie's face. A fan made this. That's pretty good, right? That's really good. Hand painted, you think? Oh, a woodworker did woodwork a handsome sign for me. Oh yeah, I remember that. And it's really cool.

I don't have anything hung up on the walls in here, but when I do, that one's going up. Have I told you how Stephanie describes my office? How? She said that it looks like the kind of office you'd go into if you needed an attorney in Omaha for rear-ending someone. There's no personality in there.

Just beige and like, oh my God, I love that. No, I have things hanging up. It's just, she's not impressed. Listen, should we find out who our questioner is? Oh yes. Yeah, we should. Today's questioner is an award-winning poet, performer, and activist who was recently appointed

Colorado's poet laureate. Their most recent book is titled, You Better Be Lightning. My dear pal, Andrea Gibson is asking today's question. Hello, handsome pod. My name is Andrea Gibson, and my question for you is, how do you flirt? What are your unique flirting skills?

How do you woo your dream boats? What flirting moment in your life are you the most proud of? And was there ever a moment in your life where your flirting or somebody else's flirting went very, very wrong? I mean, this is right up my eye. I love this. You seem like you probably were a big flirt, alley. I love this. That's a question. You seem like you probably were a big flirt, May.

I think I still am probably. I feel like it's like a life force. I feel like I can guess you're flirting. Really? Yeah. Well, let's try it. What do you mean? Oh, you know when May's flirting?

I feel like I would picture May being like, hey, my period runs about five days. Oh my God. No, no, no. I think I, I don't know. I don't wanna like overanalyze it too much in case I lose my power. I think I go low status.

I imagine your flirting power is strong. Thank you. I think I go kind of low status, but then I flip the script. Like then I'll. Here's what I think you do. Go on, yeah. Okay.

Again, this is very visual today. Who should I be? You're the, I'm a bartender. You're the person I'm flirting. I'm May. Yeah. You're the person that I'm flirting with. Okay. Hey, what's up? Whoa. You were, wait a second. I'm just over here hanging out in the corner and I just felt some energy across the room and I just felt some energy across the room. And I just, I don't know, I felt compelled to come over here

and just really look you in the eye and... What is happening? Really fortunate. I just really wanted to connect because I just, I don't know, there's something about you that's really cool. I would call the police on this person. This is what you think I'm like?

Like Demir, kind of like, no eye contact. No way. No way, no. I'm like, let's play spin the bottle. Oh, you go right for it. I feel like it's a little bit of a D-shucks, aw-shucks. Let's play spin the bottle. I think, yeah.

I feel like there's a wall of shucks in there. If an adult asked me to play spin the bottle? I think, yeah, I feel like there's a lot of jokes in there. If an adult asked me to play spin the bottle. Well, we all have our people I guess. I feel like I have parties in my twenties. When my cats are healthy, they're happy. And that makes me happy. But since I'm not a mind reader, I don't always know when they're unwell. Helping me keep tabs on my cat's health is just one reason I use Pretty Litter. Pretty Litter's ultra-absorbent crystals trap odor instantly. No more cat bathroom smell.

And Pretty Litter ships free right to your door in a small, lightweight bag. You'll never run out of it, and you don't have a huge container of litter taking up space and stinging up your place. I love my cats and I love Pretty Litter. It's the best kitty litter I've ever bought and you and your cats are going to love it too. Pretty Litter helps keep tabs on your cat's health and keeps odors down. You and your cat are gonna love Pretty Litter as much as we do. Go to prettylitter.com slash handsome and use code handsome to save 20% on your first order

and get a free cat toy. That's prettylitter.com slash handsome code handsome to save 20% and get a free cat toy. Prettylitter.com slash handsome code handsome. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast. We're here to help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklyn. Brooklyn and provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters and blankets delivered straight to your door.

How do I know this? Because Brooklyn and delivered me a quilt sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the host of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle which includes a core sheet set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed?

Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. No, I don't think I have like a method. You don't do the aw shucks thing first? I think it, no, I think it's more like- What about aw golly gee?

Aw golly gee shucks. It's more like if I'm drawn to someone, I'll focus my attention really on them. Yeah. Like and- I imagine a lot of eye contact. Slightly prolonged eye contact, sure, sure. But I was with my friend the other night and we were like, we used to flirt a lot with each other and it was, and then we were out for dinner

and we were kind of like, isn't it funny? We can just choose not to, like not to turn on that switch of like spiciness. Like it actually, I think I got a lot of myself worth in the past from being like flirty and having people flirt with me and being like, that's. Yeah. And people being like, oh, Mae's a flirt or like there's this like, and now it's like, oh, I could just be like, oh, May's a flirt or like, yeah, this like, and and now it's like,

oh, I could just be like, oh, hey, how are you? I could just imagine in your single days, you were like a flirt machine. I didn't think of myself that way, but I definitely I love it. Like, I love well, it's more it's not even even with it doesn't have to be sexual even even with friends. I just love when someone you're in the group or something and then you connect with one person so hard and it's like Electric, you know. Mm-hmm I like when people trickles over there. Okay. I don't know what I like when people wink at me, that's what I can't handle. I love, because I can't effectively wink really coolly,

but if someone gives me a subtle wink across a room, I'm like on the floor. Wow. I like any attention really. So you enjoy the flirt. You like when people flirt with you, but you're not always, obviously right now in your life, but at another point in your life,

it didn't have to translate to anything. You just enjoyed the experience of flirting. I feel like, you know what it is? It's like, there was definitely a time in my life where multiple friendships had that energy and I had a lot of gray area friendships where we would sometimes hook up or we would at least like really,

that energy was there and flirt and it was like, or people I had been with. I don't care that people know I was one of those. Yeah, TIG was one of them. We would text late at night. It was just like every time we saw each other, it was like a friction. Yeah, yeah.

And then we just decided to turn it off before we started this podcast. Yeah, let's crazy. Friction, yeah, yeah. And then we just decided to turn it off before we started this podcast. Yeah, we were like, let's do a podcast. Yeah, let's just actually be calling. Do you still flirt now that you're in a relationship? Good question, T. Thank you, Fortune, I'll take it from here. I wonder if I do. I don't think that I do, but I probably,

only in the way that like, life is full of joy and connections and people. Yeah, what is flirty? Like I don't flirt in a way that. Well, you're not saying let's place them in the bottle, but you're like, you have nice eyes. No, or in any way that would indicate like this is gonna. Hey, take your shirt off. Hey. Oh my God.

You guys think I'm a creeper. Never said creeper like that. All right, you don't talk like that, but it's fun to just. Never said creeper like that. All right, you don't talk like that, but it's fun to just, for us to talk like that. I've never said creeper. I think you both would be excellent flirts. And I'd be powerless. What do you think my flirting technique is?

I know exactly what it is. Oh yeah, do tigs. Tell me, why, because I flirted with you? You tigs, Mae. Well, first of all, because I've seen your documentary. So I've seen you flirting with Stephanie, like pre-even you guys being a thing. And it was like the most charming. Like it's, I feel like with maybe, I might be wrong, but I feel like if you're really flirting with someone, it's just like,

or I feel like it's like a director has said action and suddenly you're more alert, you're funnier, you're like, everything's like more vivid and heightened and you're like, you know what I mean? Where did you see me flirting in the documentary? What was I doing? I'm trying to remember like. Like smiling a lot when Stephanie was around? Yeah, when it's telling the love story

and it just, it shows you guys. It's a great doc. But I think you probably make fun of people a little bit, like in a in a. Oh, like a teasing of them. Yeah, yeah. And you'd be very good at that. Is that part of your flirting? Teasing? Yeah, I like to tease a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

Your biggest flirting, your biggest one was OK, Dyke. Yeah, there's probably a little subtlety to it. You know, with Stephanie, when I was really interested, I started texting her once a month. So that was me. What do you mean? Because y'all met on a movie, right? We did, we met on a movie and we started texting, but I don't know.

I just, I didn't think she was interested in me. So I didn't want to like go full throttle. But that was like a pretty big deal for you to be, like that's vulnerable to be texting once a month. Well, yeah, I really liked her. Yeah, right, right. But yeah, I think obviously humor and laughing and, I mean, I like teasing people just in general,

like in a friendly way. Yeah. And I like when they do it to me as well. And I think when people can deal with that. That's the best. You can dish it and take it. Yeah, I think it's, well, as long as, you know, to a certain degree.

Right, right. Fortune, I can imagine you being a good flirt. It's humor, right? I'm not, I really am not. So with Jax, how did you? Well, pre-Jax, I was like never, I never knew if someone was into me. I always assumed they weren't.

Well, I was, and so was Tic, and the ship has sailed. And Thomas, we were all chasing your skirt. That was part of my confidence, just having to build in general as a person. I just always kind of thought they were looking at the person behind me. And in LA, a lot of times they were indeed looking at the person behind me. Uh, cause LA was a tough place to date.

Um, and I, you know, put myself out there a few times and I, and got told no. And I was like, okay, good day. Um, and then sometimes it did work. Okay, good day. And then sometimes it did work. But it usually had to start as like, meeting them as a friend and letting it kind of getting to know each other in that way. But rarely was I like going up to someone like in a random place like, hello, what's your name? Like I could not. I had to just talk to people normal and real. And make a connection. I was always shocked if I found out they liked me. Yeah, I guess I feel similar to that.

I wasn't out picking up on people. So when I met Jax, it actually was kind of funny the way it worked out because I got a false sense of confidence out of nowhere. Um, she came up to me with a friend, a friend knew I was in wanted a picture. And so we took a picture and they went, they were nice, but went away and I was like, Oh man, that the blonde was very cute, but I just assumed they were together and didn't think anything about it. Well, the picture didn't turn out good or Jackson like herself in the picture or something, so they came back.

And then in my head, and I never thought this way, I was like, Oh, I think she, I think she likes me. And it gave me a false sense of confidence, which I never had with women. And it made me be bolder with her in a way that I never was with anyone. And so I took the picture and I let my arm linger for a while and we started chatting. We exchanged numbers. And-

Who asked for whose number? Old confidence pants. I think maybe me or it was kind of a both. We said it, but we kept running into each other all night. Did you say it at the same time? Like, could I get you to find her? And then you laughed together. Oh.

And the ultimate thing that happened that night, which was so out of character for me with a woman, is that she had this girl that was kind of flirting with her and would not leave her alone all night and I was having a hard time talking to her, getting to know her. And I had some friends that were like, let's get out of here because it was Pride weekend so it was crazy busy. And they were going to go to a bar away from the craziness.

And I walked up to her and again, when I tell you I've never done anything this bold or talk like this ever, I was always the goofball when it came to dating. I went up to Jack's and I said, my friends and I are going to another bar. I called an Uber. It's coming in five minutes. Are you coming or not? Oh my God.

I left. Wow. And I walked out. I've never done that. I left. Wow. And I walked out. I've never done that. Acted like that. I don't act like that. I don't know what came over me and she thought it was so attractive.

And the Uber pulls up. I'm sitting there. I open the door and she bolts out of the bar into the Uber. And I was like, it worked? Oh my God. Couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. Head to Los Angeles.

And that was the start of us hanging out all weekend. Wow. That's amazing. When did you have your first smooch? That night? Later that night. Later that night. That's gosh. Later that night. That's okay, don't worry about it. But I was so bold in a way that I just,

when I tell you I had no boldness in dating ever. And did you put the smooch move on her or did she put the smooch move on you? I think again that ended up being mutual. Mm. Oh, man. Wow. That was my most successful flirting, clearly.

I had plenty of unsuccessful ones where someone I thought they were flirting and then I asked them out and they're like, oh, no thank you. Oh my God. Okay. Oh my God. Sorry to bother you.

Okay, cool. I didn't know that that's how you met Jax. So it was through someone coming up asking for a photo. Kind of like I didn't know Parvati won Survivor. That's crazy. I swear I've said that. It was always tricky navigating flirting for me because I just am a friendly person. So I'm chatting with everyone, I'm talking with everyone.

So I never, I really never knew if someone was flirting with me or just being friendly back. So when I did like get that courage to ask some of these people out, and I only a couple of times I got a straight up no, but those were hard. Oh man, the worst. Oh wait, I totally misread that.

Then you have to go, wait, you thought I was serious when I just asked you out? I was joking. I was totally kidding. I'm a comedian. I'm totally kidding. Don't you know comedy? I was a late bloomer.

I came out at 25. I really didn't date for a while even after that. So it took me a long time to build that flirt confidence. Well yeah, I mean, you don't have that experience as a kid, you know, in your teen years, sometimes when you take a while to come out. And it's also equally, if not harder to reject somebody that's flirting.

Oh God, yeah. Yes, yeah, yeah. People are very forward with me sometimes. I'm sure I've said this, but like after shows and stuff, because I think I present as like very approachable or neurotic or something. Very sex positive, right? And like a little vulnerable or whatever,

so they come up and are sometimes so forward. And then that's awkward. Like they're saying things that if it was a guy saying that, you'd be like, I'm calling the police. Yeah. So many phone calls to the police during this episode. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And you're like, yeah, I am, that is a part of me

that doesn't necessarily mean I'm just, you know, doing whatever willy nilly. Yeah. Well, should we hear what Andrea has to say? Yes, definitely. I have so many answers for when my flirting went very wrong, but this one, I don't know if this is wrong or right. I'll share this one. So years ago, I had a crush on a woman named

Julie. And my therapist name is also Julie. So we were texting back and forth one night and I said, Hey, you have the same name as my therapist. I was wondering if I could come lay down on your couch sometime. That's cool. So proud of that. The text back said Um, I don't think this was meant for me. Oh no happened was I Accidentally sent the text to Julie my therapist What a good line, what a good line. That's a really good line. No, Andrea I feel like would have been in the pocket

because Andrea is a poet. And I feel like that's a good way to use for flirting, right? Not just a poet, one of the greatest poets walking the planet today. So Andrea has a leg up, like Cyrano de Bergerac or whatever, just language at their disposal. And an attractive person. I mean, a lot of things are hitting.

I saw Andrea do like spoken word kind of type thing, right? Is that what you would call it? Poetry. Before Ani DeFranco performance and it was like, holy cow. Were there any gay people in the audience that night? Every gay person got their ponies into tizzy over that. The words Andrea was using were so unbelievable and like powerful and poetic. And it was quite amazing to watch.

Yeah, I'm a big fan. And Andrea performance, prepare yourself. If you are listening, watching, seeing Andrea live, whatever, you will go on a roller coaster of, I always say Andrea is truly one of the funniest people and could easily be a standup comedian. So deeply funny and so deeply deep and moving. And you are just riding that wave as Andrea goes

and delivers it all. Yeah. And Andrea has an incredible partner, Meg, who is also a great poet and person and clearly. Then why is Andrea flirting with us on our pod? I have no idea. That's what I was about to get to. I think this is completely inappropriate.

Lay on our couch? Yeah. I would be curious to know if Andrea did eventually get that text to the right person and did it work? Yeah. And we didn't even really answer the flirting going wrong, did we? I did.

You guys haven't. So what you got? Yeah. Mine was just that I thought someone was flirting with me and I asked about it. They said, no. I don't have a good story other than, I think I said it on here once. I was like kind of flirting with someone. I thought we were both mutually flirting and that was heading somewhere.

And then she said, can I make you dinner? I said, yeah, this is amazing. I'm like, here we go. The start of things, someone making you dinner, that's very romantic. She informed me that she had feelings for someone and didn't want to pursue things, try things with me. And then she was like, should I still make dinner? And I was like, should I still make dinner? And I was like, well, and any like normal person

would have been like, no, I'm good. Like that's okay, thank you. And I was like, what were you gonna make? Oh my God. What were you gonna make? Tacos and I was like, well, I do like tacos. Oh my God. And I had true still made dinner.

So you sat there, I like tacos. Oh my God. And I and Drew still made dinner. Oh my. So you sat there eating tacos. And we never were officially dating, but it was like, we were headed, I thought we were headed towards trying maybe. Yeah. And I had just been given the kaput and she's still making me dinner.

Oh man, were you sad during the meal or did you think actually it will be fun? I think I wasn't sweating it too much. So clearly, I was fine, but it was like the least romantic dinner of my life. Yeah. I can't think of any specific, I'm pretty focused and targeted with like when I actually

pursue someone. Yeah, that I asked me to help carry her things out to her car one day. And I was like, oh yeah, sure. And carried it out to her car. And then when we were standing there, she was like, so, oh, I know what she said. She said, I don't mean to be like a Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky situation, but.

Oh my God. I just thought it was a good time to talk about the elephant in the room. And I was truly like, I was so confused. Yeah. Oh my God. Nothing clicked for me. I was like like, I was so confused. Yeah. Oh my God. Nothing clicked for me. I was like, what, what?

Oh my God. Baffled and that's awkward. She said that she had feelings for me. And were you into it? No. I was like, it doesn't appear so. This is not good then. I was not into her and I was so-

She's your boss. Well, yeah, but also I just, she was my boss. I wasn't into, I was so confused. And I was immediately like, get me out of this situation. I didn't even show up at work the next day. It was so uncomfortable, so uncomfortable. Was she embarrassed? I don't think so.

She used to call me from her car. She was married. Oh no. She used to call me from her car and she would say things like, oh, I have to do a speech. Can you help me with the joke or something? Yeah, I have to do a speech. You know, can you help me with the joke or something? Yeah, I have to do a speech.

Can you give me a bath? She would do things like that. And I thought that it was because I was a comedian. I was still an open mic comedian at the time. And I was like, yeah. And I thought we were kind of friends, you know? Yeah, yeah. And she continued to keep calling me.

Oh, well, all right. Oh my God. I didn't have caller ID at the time. Oh, I wonder who this is. Ugh. Well, this person sounds like chaos though. Like married, calling from the car, carrying the boxes, elephant, it's all adding up to.

But I truly, it was so weird because I don't know what was going on in her mind that she thought everything was so glaring that we were finally gonna talk about this. I have had that once before after I was opening for a band on tour and then at the end of the tour, the singer texted me and was like, are we gonna talk about this thing between us? And I was like for a band on tour and then at the end of the tour, the singer texted me and was like, are we going to talk about this thing between us? And I was like, what?

Yeah. And I this my old boss, I have run into her once or twice since. I mean, it's been like 25, almost 30 years. And is it awkward? Well, I truly have moments where I'm like, does she remember? Remember, yeah. She has to remember.

She has to. Yeah, she has to remember. But what does she think I think? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I have, ugh. Anyway, that was so uncomfortable. I loved that story though. It's not fun.

Well, this has been a great time. Yes, it has. We've learned some new things. Wonderful question from the incredible Andrea Gibson. Check out, I think Andrea's got eight books. Wow. And Andrea's Instagram is so just. So on point.

I mean, I always, you know, people always say like, yeah, you need to be more present in life. And with Andrea, I'm like, when are you not present? Are you ever not present? Like Andrea's insights are just remarkable. So just follow everything. They do seem like an evolved type of person. Like another sort of, like we've made a genetic leap

or something as a speech. They're just one level up from us. Yeah. And the way their brain works and the connections that they're able to make. And yeah, I'm a big fan. Yes, same. Well, speaking of a big fan. Yes, same. Well, speaking of smart present.

Oh, there's our poet. There's our poet laureate. The handsome poet laureate. Yeah. Oh, Biggie. Oh, Biggie, Biggie, Biggie. Well, what a podcast, as always. As always.

I actually just added one show to my Live, Laugh, Love tour. It's Saturday, November 16th in Santa Rosa, California. So if you live up north in California in that wine country area, I'll be there. The Luther Burbank Center for the Arts. Go to fortunefiemster.com for tickets. Nice. That's exciting. And also go to handsomepod.com for tickets. Nice. That's exciting. And also go to handsomepod.com for merch.

We have so much incredible merch and I see it out there in the wild all the time. People saying to keep it handsome and. Trucker hats, t-shirts, all kinds of things. And let us know if there's a new thing you're looking for in your life from the Handsome Pod merch wise. Cause you never just, if there's a new thing you're looking for in your life from the Handsome Pod merch wise. Cause you never just if there's a new thing

you're looking for in life. Yeah, seriously. Let us know that too. And also if you enjoyed this podcast, let's say it was the first time you've heard Handsome, please share this episode with a friend. And let us know if there's someone you wanna hear a question from.

Yeah. And check out my website for sporadic shows in Los Angeles, Toronto and around the country. And all that remains is... Keep it Handsome! Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulett. Email us at handsomepod at gml.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. Home insurance is complicated. You want the best insurance for the best price. Allstate makes it

easy to sign up for new policy or switch from an existing one so you can start saving today. Check Allstate first and you can save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary.