Handsome - Angela Kinsey asks about wisdom teeth

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

Angela Kinsey (The Office, Office Ladies) gets Handsome to share their toothiest tales on a hilarious and harrowing episode! Plus Mae gets a visit from Marilyn Monroe, baby Fortune, and why Tig is like... Forrest Gump?! Don't forget to get tickets to our May 4 Live Show in LA!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that your chess board has all 32 pieces? Girl, you'll never get checkmate without coming prepared. Checkers just isn't scratching my board game itch. Yeah, check him first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, North Brose, Illinois. Handsome pot. Chatting the friends on the handsome pot. Chatting the friends of a handsome pod. Cheers.

Welcome to the handsome pod. I'm one of your handsome host, May Martin, joined by Tignotaro. And for Jim Peemster. Wee. Hi, you guys. How do you do?

Where is? I know where everyone is. but what are you up to? What on earth are you both up to? Well, first can we address that Professor Tigg is with us? You look so smart. You're wearing a nice, a blazer. A sensible blazer.

I am wearing a sensible blazer with a sensible denim shirt. I'm in between little Oscar activities. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm curious what my old life used to be like. Oh, yeah. Well, you're in the home stretch. I am. Yeah.

We're taping this a couple weeks before pre-oscers. Yeah. Are we? We're a couple of days before. Yeah, we're a couple of days before. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

Sorry. Three days. Three days before. I've only had three hours of sleep. Oh, boy. Okay. What's going on with you? Yeah.

Why are you up all night? Yeah. Can you face off? We've been filming nights for the last week and a half. Oof. How's that? These bags. Mm-hmm.

are real. The movie's super fun. It's just nights are so hard. You work so hard. One day we log in, you're like, I barely slept. And we're like, why are you working? And you're like, I've been raving. Just partying.

Like, that would be the best. But yeah, nights are brutal. Yeah. We wrapped at 6 a.m. And I got on a plane at 7 a.m. And flew back home. and just was only able to sleep with a couple hours, but it's all right.

There's only a couple little things left to do, and then that's it. And then you did it. And then you did it. And you know what else we did? We won a GLAD Award. That's right. Yeah, we did.

We won an outstanding podcast at the GLAD Awards. We sure did. And then May you won for Wayward? Yeah. What was your category? Limited Series. That's limited series. That makes sense.

That makes sense. I was on the tour. bus getting notifications and then watching your speech take and yeah and come see me the good light one for best documentary we just were like we'll take this this and that look at that i wish we could have been there i know and i was so um embarrassed but i um i didn't thank thomas or head gum and i feel thankful to both and um and yeah so my apologies, Thomas. I hope that you can forgive me.

Did you get nervous? Is that what happened? I was. I know you're not used to be in front of a crowd. Yeah, you were. I'll be honest. I was still patching together my speech. And then it was the first category.

Oh, my God. Yes. And I was like, oh, my God. And Stephanie was like, what do you do? And I was like, I did not think in a million years. This would be the first category. It was funny watching your speech because you were just kind of like, well, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for letting us do our nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like, May and Fortune are dropping their jokes off. And then I was like, and then I walked away going, I don't even think Fortune's on tour right now. Like I was. I was filming nights.

I know. I was very scrambled. And, but first up is jarring. You're not really settled in. But people could, I really can't express enough, like my morning tonight Oscar stuff that's going on. Yeah. And you would think like, oh, you've had time to, and I thought, well, I will.

And I'm going to put this together while we're sitting there during, you know, the ceremony. Yeah, yeah. And man. But also when you're so used to, you've been having all these talking points about come see me in the good light, you're fluent with that right now. Yeah. Yeah. I had the same. I just went to the queer tea awards for the first time. Have you been to those? No. I have not. They were, I was underprepared and they, I was like, what's the queer tea awards? And then I went and yeah, I was like, I'll just wing something. And I got this award. And first of all, like, it was all the most stylish gay men and drag. Queens and everyone's in like these tank tops and like three piece suits and stuff. And I was dressed like one of the guys on Love is Blind, like like a kind of Ohio straight guy. I'm going to look of what you were dressed like. Ohio straight guy. What does that look like? Because I know straight guys

that live in Ohio. Like a white t-shirt and a blue blazer and look and I tried to dye my hair that day like tone it. And what happened was it went sort of gray on top. And anyway, I got up and just Why, you look great. You're in a suit? I'm in a suit, but I don't know. But in Ohio suit. No, this is, no one in Ohio is just like, well, they're very stylish people in Ohio. People were making these beautiful speeches.

Not the people in Ohio that I am close with. You guys, I love Ohio. I love Ohio. I'm a big Chrissy Hyne fan. But May it looks very stylish. May always looks great. You're being too hard. on yourself. I have been out and proud about my love for Ohio since the day I got into

Chrissy Hine from the Pretenders, who is from Akron, Ohio. Ohio, great comedy state. Truly. And I moved to Ohio because my first girlfriend is from there, and I lived there. Well, now you don't, now you're overkill. Now you're doing too much. But it's all true. It's all true. But I'm telling you, the straight guys I know from Ohio don't have that suit. No, I specifically mean the toxic guys on this season of Love is Blind, which I just watched the reunion. I was in the bath just now watching the reunion. It's so insane. Me time?

Yeah. May time? 5.30 p.m. I had my bath salts in there. And yeah, that's what I felt like. And do you have a TV in your wall? No, I put my laptop. A laptop, yeah. Balanced it on the counter.

And do you watch TV often in the tub? No. This was a weird choice and it just happened. And I turned off the light in the bathroom. So it was dark. Romantic. Yeah, it was nice. Party of one.

I watched these poor women confronting these guys. This season of Love is blind is so, so toxic. They're all kind of MAGA guys and, yeah, I love it. You're like, can't stop watching. Yeah. But everyone is asking me about you guys at the Queer T's. And on tour, everyone's just sending so much love. The Queer Tees asked me to present you your award.

They did? Yes. And you said absolutely not. I said, I will not come down there. No, I had my, you know, I'm in Oscar land for. I must have been the second one asked then. I was then also asked to do it. But I've been filming nights.

Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. No, they ended up flying in my co-star from Wayward. Sarah Godden came. Oh, look at that. Yeah. But Margaret Cho had just gone up and done this like rousing speech, like call to arms, like protect trans youth. Everyone's like cheering.

And then I go up and I'm like, well, what a cool party guys. I don't know what I said. I was like everyone looks great. I hope I get to party after. Anyway, it was so weird. Did you say that TIG and I were dropping off jokes in other cities? Can I just take a moment and talk about how just. endlessly relevant

Margaret stays what a solid stand-up she has remained and she's one of those true true comedians that just has that like she has her point of view

she never stops writing she never stops performing and she didn't care if it's an open mic or a sold-out theater she is there working out her stand-up And, like, responding to current events, like on the day. Like, I see her at Largo and she's, like, talking about something that happened that day.

I'm just crushing it. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's real. It's something. I was on a show with her the other night. And I was like, it's, it's. She's a badass.

Yeah. It's, she just is. And she has a little chihuahua that she brings everywhere. She loves that doggy. To see, when you're on a red carpet and you're over-stimulated and then you see, it's like a lighthouse in a storm, that little chihuahua is that. Oh, like that. Lucia?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And couldn't be a happier pup either. Yeah. Well, taken care of pup. Yes. Yeah.

What's this new piece of furniture in your background, May? Is that a game? Or is it a trophy? Oh. Oh. The long thing. Yeah, it's a bit of a situation. I'm glad you asked.

That is what my desk used to be. And then I got impulsively, I thought I needed a new desk with like drawers. So I ordered this desk that it looks like a little girl's bedroom, like a doll's house. And I didn't, let me show you. It did not look like this online. It's got these like scal-like. Oh. It looks like IKEA.

I got to get rid of it. It's a bookshelf. It's like a bookshelf in one desk. It's made of plywood. I thought you said it first a butch shelf. A butch shell. It's got a butch shelf for all my butch things. It couldn't be less butch.

It's like made of plywood for. falling apart and I got a perfectly good desk right there. I don't know what I panicked. Wow. Wow. I can't imagine you in a panic. I thought it was like, I wake up like one of those shuffleboard things at first and I was really pumped about that for you. Well, I'm glad you said that too because I have looked into and I'm about to purchase a ski ball game. You know, you roll the ball and it goes, so not a motorized one, but just a wooden one going to put it outside. Wow.

The arcade is growing. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Pretty cool, me. Thanks, Owen Wilson.

Pretty. Hey, man. Hey, it's pretty cool. Hey, that's good, Fortune. I'm not known for my impressions. No, you're not. But Fortune, when, I can't remember. Do you know when your movie comes out yet?

The movie will be a minute. So it's sometime next year, but they just announced that the golf show I did with Will that is now called The Hawk. Oh. And it will be out this summer. Nice. TBD. But it will be out. His character's name is Lonnie Hawkins.

Okay. And his golf fan base calls him The Hawk. Okay. Like it. Lonnie Hawkins is such a great. Will Ferrell comedy character name. Oh my God. May you look gorgeous right now.

The lighting. Oh, you have like an orb. Yeah. Is it Marilyn Monroe? A light or. Something's happening. But like the lighting. Do you remember?

I've never seen you look so. You're so young. Oh my God. You guys. Can you take a screen grab? I think you'll be very happy with what you see. I would think you were like 28 right now. Yeah.

I would think 18. Oh, my Lord. Thank you. I'm the one that has to look at it. Oh, I had to look at it. Oh, I would think. But it has to. Yeah.

It gets to. Oh my gosh. You need to remember this lighting, this time of day, whatever, that kind of shadow over your face. But then there's also a little bit of light coming, a little Marilyn Monroe coming down. And then if I move like slightly to the left, it's ruined. It's horrendous. Yeah. It's really bad.

Old witch. Yeah. Fortune, you look beautiful. What? I get a little fortune. Fortune, what are you 12 years old? Did you just happen to notice me too? You're glowing.

You really are. I've never seen. Oh, my God. How do I look? Speaking of one eye closed, my eye surgery is postponed. No. Sorry, girls. Why?

Well, just some things with, my doctor has to just check some stuff. But, like, you know, just things. You just want to drag this on. So we'll always be like, how's your eye? How's the Popeye I'm made? You look so good. Are you serious? Oh my God.

Don't you see it? Fortune? You know what? I think I'm going from... Fantastic. I'm going from inside because I feel good right now. Why do you feel so good? Well, I'm resting from tour, but I'm excited to go back out.

Yeah, I'm just got some... I'm feeling good. Oh, I know. You got laid. Is there some romance? Well, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Wow.

That definitely was a May's been busy in the bedroom smile. You know what? I think it's the bath I just took with the bath salts and the... Is your bed visitor at your house right now? No, she's not. Your party kisser? No, my God. Oh, my God.

Kisser. When I do these Meet and Greets on tour, people are rocking the merch and people are talking about party kissers. I bet you. A shirt and hat, I believe, right? Yeah, they're loving it. Are we doing merch plug right now? I mean, not on purpose. It just came up naturally.

Yeah. Maybe getting kissed at parties right now. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance, and that's smart. Not checking that your phone is on silent before your favorite musician plays in acoustic set, very alarming. Literally alarming because your alarm is going off in the middle of

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or enter Handsome at checkout for 25% off your first purchase. That's O-P-O-S-I-V-com slash handsome for 25% off. Guys, I found something and I sent it to Thomas. I said, I got to tell Tegan Fortune about this. Tell us. Okay, I'm going to read it from my... Tell us, you party, kisser. Okay, these are Victorian slang words that need to make a comeback,

and I thought maybe it, well, I want to bring them back and popularize them. Okay. Why don't you send them to Thomas? I said, I said, I must run these by Thomas first. Sometimes I send stuff to him to be like, can you remind me this? I want to tell Teng unfortunately. Okay. That's a smart idea.

Yeah. Maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll do that. I don't forget to do that Victorian slang. Oh, thank you so much for the reminder. It worked. Yeah, perfect. And meanwhile, I didn't even thank Thomas for our Glad Award.

I know, and he's doing the Lord's work. I know. You did go, it was funny too, when you first started, you went, girl oh yeah which by the way and you said we say that in our podcast well somebody yelled out girl yeah yeah yeah somebody was like girl yeah and then i was like girl girl and i was like oh we we say that on our podcast which i have to say like so many of the people in the audiences at my shows are handsome listeners, and I do just want to say, for the record, I love girl. I love you guys calling me girl. It brings me so much joy in my life. I am trans. I need to remind people. Like on the

tour, everyone's just like, she's so, she's so her. And they're all like, girl. And I don't mind girl because I think it's hilarious, but I just want to remind people. We call Thomas Girl, too. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. These are the expressions, ready? Temporary sadness, that's not the expression. If you have temporary sadness, you say, I got the morbs. Okay.

Like morbid. They said that. In Victorian, I did. That sounds so Gen Z. Current. I got the morbs. Like, what is, so like, would they get, you know?

It's an abbreviated situation, which you like to do. Can you imagine? They've, like, got, yeah, some Victorian plague, and they're like, oh, got the morbs. because, yeah, okay, if you're not feeling well, you say, I'm not up to dick. Up to dick. I'm definitely not up to dick. Well, you famously. And I'm sorry.

I famously am not up to dick. Neither is dig. You're not even up to a hot flute. Mm-mm. Okay, so what is, what is this mean? This is, if you're not, if I go, you want to come out tonight, you go, I'm not up to dick. Mm, okay. Which is relevant.

This, I thought you guys were. not in the mood for Dick. Yeah, exactly. I thought you'd really like this one. This is what they would call women's breasts. Cupid's kettle drums. They seriously were saying this in Victoria. I would use that now, Cupid's kettle drums.

How do you have confirmation on this? This feels a little murky. This was an Instagram thing. So it must be from like Charles Dick and the Moss feature. Yeah. Nay, I think you should read the slang and make them guess. Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah. Tight as a boiled owl. What do you think that means?

Is it tight, butthole? Drunk. Drunk. Is it drunk? Yeah, it's drunk, yeah, yeah. I remember that my mother used to say that. She'd be like, oh, he's tight. Yeah, tight as a boiled owl.

No, but she would just say, oh, he's tight. I like that. Yeah, she's tight. What do you think this means? Bitch the pot. bitch the pot, pour the water out. Pour the tea. Bitch the pot.

I love May's delivery. Bitch the pot. Bitch the pot. Bitch the pot. Yes, that's exactly what it is. It is bitch the pot. Bitch in the pot. I'm bitching the pot.

Bitch in the pot. Girl, I'm bitching the pot. Yes. The tea gets poured out. Bitch in the pot. Yeah. Okay. This is the kind of reaction.

shower on it, yes, okay. Giggle mug. Mm, alcohol. Gigal mug is your smile? It's if you're always smiling, then you're a giggle mug. Wow. I keep smiling, keep shining. No, Dionne Warwick.

Stevie Wonder. Can I always can help me. Is it both of them a duet? No. It's Dionne Warwick. Yeah, and Stevie Wonder. together? He's singing too. Thomas, who's singing that's what friends are for

Kiss smile. I don't remember who's singing But I thought, I know the harmonica was involved in this. Tig, the way you sang it there sort of like Breathi, it sounded like in a movie where someone's sort of trying to stay alive in the cold and they're getting hypothermia and they're going, Keep smiling. And then Victorian times when you got breathy, they called it juggle

boobs. Juggle boobes. It was Dionne Warwick, Elton John, Gladys Knight, and Stevie Wonder. I can't believe I forgot. Elton and Gladys, yes. It was a group. It was basically like a soulful traveling Woolborough. That's what friends are for.

I guess. Gladys Knight is where it's at. I saw her in concert at the Hollywood Bowl. Mm. Lucky you. Nice legs.

Gladys. What else does Gladys Knight sing? Well, midnight trained to Georgia as well, yeah, yeah, yeah. LA proved too much for the man. Too much for the man. That's the Pips. He couldn't take it. So he's leaving life.

He's coming to know. He's leaving. leaving Thank you On the midnight train to Georgia Living on the midnight train To Georgia Woo-woo

You guys would rather live in his world Than live without him In my house The Pips is almost The Pips is equally as good In that song I used to do a little comedy routine About that song

Where I would act like I was I'd have them play the song the sound booth, they'd play the song, and then I would lip sync to Gladys's part, and then I would pretend like the Pips were in the back seat. And so I was like singing, and then they'd chime in, and I'd turn around like, what the hell?

Like, I got this, you know? And so it was just, it was just a fun little time. It always, it's always funnier when you explain it on a podcast. Well, funny enough, I did a bit once at the Grinlings, where I had someone play Linda Ronstadt singing, you're no good, you're no good, you're no good, baby, you're no good. And we played her, me and my friend played her backup singers and we kept trying to sing over her.

When my brother was 10, he really seriously went up to my mom and said, Mom, when I grew up, I'm going to marry Linda Ronstadt. Fair, huh? And what happened? Yeah, what happened? He did. That's amazing. Linda Martin, that's right

Her name changed Right, Linda Martin Linda Martin Living in the suburbs in Toronto now Linda Ronstad Martin I think giggle mug really suits Fortune

Oh we're back on that Giggle mug Well I thought we moved on too quickly Yeah no let's go back We're not done with these words No we are that was it Oh that was it Well there's one more which is

One more let's guess Poked up. Poked up. You're horny. Embarrassed, weirdly. Poked up. That really ended on a bummer. I know. I say, I know. Way to ruin the podcast, May. Let's go back. I got the morbs now. No, it was great. Yeah, this is the problem. Whatever, I'm like, I should do a little, I'll prepare a little segment. I'll prepare a little joke and it's all, it's never good. It's always better just to talk. I'm going to prepare a little something for the podcast.

There are a lot of people out here listening right now who are like so happy they learned all those phrases. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but then they'll come to me. I'm drinking water because I was in Vegas all week. Oh, what is that? And that's the only reason you're drinking water? Yeah, what's the connection?

I'm drinking water and I've just been home. Because I'm hydrating. I was in the desert. Mm-hmm. Got to hydrate from the inside. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm drinking my Ogua. The other night I went into my sauna and I did a weird thing where I took a bag of bath salts and I poured it into like a baking tray. And then I brought it into the sauna and I put my bare feet in the absent salts. I don't know why, but I felt like it would be good for me to feel the salt on my feet. I must have read it somewhere.

And how did it go? Or is that all you're going to tell us? It's just kind of a mess. It was like I left the tray in there. It's like standing on pop rocks. Yeah. Yeah. They don't dissolve, right?

They didn't dissolve. With no water. No, they just felt kind of crunchy. And I think I thought it was going to like detox me from my feet. I think I must have read that. Interesting. Are you still using your foot massager? Hell, yeah.

And I got a new thing next time we record in person. I'm not using whatever this new thing. You are. You are. I'm not using that. I must end up in a wheelchair. Yeah. Now, what's,

Do you Eucalyptus? Yeah, that's what I do. I like that. That goes in my tub every single time. Yeah, same. Are you tub on a lot too, TIG? Yeah, I tub.

When you're on the road, are you tub. We're a tub and pod. Depends. Tits out. Tub. Oh, my tits are flopped out every which way. On each side of the tub. Oh, my God.

I have to find a place to put them. Yeah. You know, if the tub can. You just bounce them on the soap. On a soap dish. That's how I decide if there is a tub big enough to support your tits out tub tub time. Merch alert, tits out tub time. Yeah, I do love a tub.

I like a hot full of eucalyptus scent. Do you just, do you listen to someone in the tub or read or do you just bless out? Paint us a picture. Yeah, paint us a picture. Well, you take your blazer off. No, I put my blazer on. It's a sophisticated tub. You Donald Duckett.

Naked from the waist down, blazer. Yeah, everywhere I go. I'm naked from the waist down. But there's a nice little window right by my tub. And if I can see over my big tit, I like looking up into the sky. And then there's a tree in our backyard that I look at the squirrels, the birds and whatever. And usually our cat. are in the bathroom kind of lounging around.

And so I talk a lot to them and I tell them, you know, how much I love them. And, you know, it's just that's basically my... I love you cheeeties. Yeah, I'm like, you are my sweet little precious animal. You are my sweet little pretzies. I love you. Yes. Yeah, so that's what I do with my bath time.

I like this. Yeah. I like that we're practicing self-care on the handsome pot. Well, we're teeing ourselves. up for wellness weekend. Oh my God. Name the date. Wellness weekend.

As soon as Fortune finishes filming and I'm out of the Oscar loop and you're back from tour, we are going to have Wellness Weekend. Great. We're going to drag Fortune kicking and screaming. Making me wake up at the ass crack of dawn. You're the one that's up all night. You love it so much. I drove all night.

I love that song. Was that all right? It's such a great line. I love you she has permission after she is there. Is that all right? Or is it weird that I'm here? Of course it's weird. You drove all night.

Is that all right? You're asking me now? Yeah. That's your new closer. For Wellness Weekend, are we renting an Airbnb somewhere in nature? Are we at your house? No, we're going to go to my office. Oh, oh, wow.

Okay. Yeah. We're going to go to my office because we got, you know, nature. Well, you've been there. Yeah. You don't like it. You don't like it. I like it a lot.

Oh, you were thinking like going to the woods somewhere. Yeah. Oh, I don't want to be murdered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess as long as we could be in nature at your office. Oh, haven't you seen the back yard? Yeah.

Is there a hot tub? Yes. Is there? Yeah. Oh, great. I'm listening. And are we going to get naked to go in the hot tub? And Max and Finns got...

Excuse me? We're doing tits out tub time together, all hot tub time? Yes, indeed. I mean, imagine if we had a selfie of the three of us naked and a tautum. And Fortin's the only one tits out. I'm like having to lift my big tiggo bitties up and cover them while y'all are just like... Now, I have to tell you, Max and Finn's got. parents do rent out the guest house.

Oh, God. I know. But we just have to make sure they're out of town because they do travel a bit. I don't know that there was a guest house there. Well, no, you know. Look at you. Any hoodles. Should we get to our question?

We should. Oh, baby fortune. It's easy question. Isn't it nap time almost baby fortune? Yeah. Baby Forston is tired. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

You were into it. We were into it. 15 seconds ago. I know, and then we turned on you. Yeah, we were hugging you on and then we were like, oh, no, it's creepy. Wow. Fortune talks like a baby. Wow.

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and use code handsome for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash handsome. Code handsome at checkout. Hi, it's Nicole Beyer. And Sashir Zemeda. Host of the podcast, Best Friends. We're here to tell you a little bit about something special coming up, or as they say in Italian,

Sarah Speciale. No notes. You might not be able to drop everything and book a ticket to Italy, but you can go to the theater on April 10th, See You, Me, and Tuscany. You, Me, and Tuscany is a brand new rom-com from Will Packer, the guy who produced Girl's Trip, and is starring Hallie Bailey and Reggae John Page.

You, me, and Tuscany has all the ingredients of your favorite rom-coms, heart, huge laughs, and sizzling chemistry. Set in the enchanting vineyards of Tuscany, it's the movie escape we've been waiting for. It's the perfect film for date night, or night out with your girls. Get Lost in the Sauce with you, me, and Tuscany, directed by Kat Khoira, only in theaters April 10th. Today's question asker is best known for playing Angela on The Office.

She's also starred in movies like Tall Girl and other shows like AP Bio and Deliciousness. She co-hosts the hit podcast office ladies. Angela Kinsey is asking today's question. Woo! Hello, handsome podcast folks. Okay, here's my question. And maybe it's a weird one. And I think it's on my mind because my teenagers just had their wisdom teeth out.

But here it is. How old were you when you got your wisdom teeth out? Where were you? How many wisdom teeth did you have? Did you have to be put under? Were you awake for it? Did you do anything weird or loopy afterwards? There you go.

All right. Boy, do I have a story? Oh, do you know? You got this locked and loaded. Yes, I do. It's part of my stand-up and it's on my, if anybody wants to watch my HBO special, drawn. It's an animated special. And years ago, when I lived in Colorado, I was in a relationship and, you know, we were not a match. We're not still together. But wish are the best. And, um, we, I had to get my wisdom teeth out. And I asked her if she would drive me, because you have to have somebody drive you. For sure. Yeah. Okay. And she was-

You go pretty under, like, where you're loopy-dupy. Yes, indeed. And I was like, yeah, I need somebody to drop me off and then pick me up and drive me home. And she was like, well, I have to work that day. And she said, so I can drop you off. And I said, well, can you just sign that you're going to drive me? me home as well. This was pre-Ubers for the young ones listening. And I guess I could have taken a cab,

but I don't think I was at a place where I could even take a cab. And so I said, we just come in with me and sign that you're going to draw me off and pick me up. And then I'll just follow you in my car to the hospital. And then I'll just run out of the hospital and drive myself home. Oh, my God. And she's like, sounds good. And so she signs. Okay. So she signs me in, she leaves. I get my wisdom teeth taken out. I'm like fully under. I had all four surgically removed from my beak. And so I wake up and I remember that I don't have a ride home. And I was like, and I was so out of my mind, like out of my mind. Oh my God. And I got up off of that Gurney and I just

hauled ass out of the hospital and I was just like slamming into walls kind of thing like really out of it this is so not okay what I did I get in the car no may the good news is clearly I lived I'm here to tell I drive home

you guys they shouldn't have let you out of their sight they didn't they didn't expect some lunatic to run out of the hunt. I bolted out of there. I bolted. Oh my God. I bolted like, like that. Okay, this is quite a story that happened. I wake up because I rear-ended another car. No. I had fallen asleep at a light and I think my foot just slid off the break and it wasn't like a rear-end crash, but like I bumped the guy's car and he comes up and he's yelling at me. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. He thinks you're inebriated. Right, which I was, essentially. No need to call cops or exchange insurance, but he was like, watch where you got. That guy is like, I'm so sorry. He gets in his car, he leaves. I get home. My very dear friend lives below me.

Actually, you got home in one piece. I know. Okay. My friend lives below me. By the time I get home, I'm in so. much pain. I'm like the, the numbing,

the numbness is wearing off. And I go knock on my, my friend's door. Good. No answer. And I'm just, her name's Leslie. And I'm like, Leslie. Leslie. And I'm banging on the door. And there's no response.

So I walk down to the front of the building to look up and yell. at the front of the building. And there is a new neighbor. This is an old Victorian, talk about Victorian, an old Victorian home that split into like five different apartments. Yeah.

A new neighbor had just moved in and was sunbathing in the front. And I come around the corner and I was like, when I come around the corner, she's like, and I said, hi, I said, you know, it's lovely home from now. I'm in so much pain. And she's like, and she's like, I mean, she's like, no.

I don't know. Was she topless? No. No, I'm sorry. Tits in. Okay. And so, and she, I'm like, okay. I go back up to Leslie's door and I see a trail of blood leading to her door.

I'm like, oh my God. And I'm like banging on her door, not realizing. It's your blood. It's my blood. And the woman in the. in the front of the house had I'm like, I was bleeding and I couldn't feel it because I was numb. And it was running out of my mouth down my shirt. And she didn't even ask like, are you okay?

What happened? Nothing. She was like, I don't want to engage in this. Because you're ruining her. Her sunbathing time. But I needed Leslie to drive me back to the hospital to get my medication. Yeah, you just booked it out of there. Yeah, so I didn't have my medication.

And so that is my, my wisdom tooth story. So yeah, I have a wisdom tooth story. And if, again, you want to see it, check it out on HBO. I can't believe you drove yourself. I was in my early 20s. I mean, of course, you would never do it now.

No. I was, I just remember being so out of it after my, I got my wisdom, I pulled when I was 18. And I didn't necessarily need it. them pulled at that moment, but I was about to, something like I was about to go off my mom's insurance. And so she was just like, let's get these puppies out. Yeah. So I had four extracted. And it was when my grandmother was sick. So I was in, it was like a weird time. And they pulled

them out. And I do remember sitting there after surgery thinking, when are you guys? going to start this surgery. You didn't realize that it happened? No, because you're like laying there and they're going, I'm going to count the three backwards or five backwards. Yeah. And they're like five, four. And then you're like, oh, how about it?

Yeah. And then when I woke up, you really do think that the last time you were awake was, you know, at five, four. And then you're like, are you guys doing this or not? And then I think I was mumbling and. saying they were laughing at stuff I was saying and I wasn't trying to be funny it feels like those drugs are kind of like a truth serum and people they tap into like people I see the videos of people and they always seem like overwhelmed by like the beauty or gratitude like like when they're like

I'm your boyfriend and they're like I have a boyfriend and they're like I'm so lucky like I have a mom who loves me like they get so it's really beautiful I love because mainly people are like I like that you got up and you were like, I'm out of here, like bolted out. Oh my God. I would have been with it enough to even remember. I didn't have a ride. Yeah, well,

I clearly wasn't fully with it because I fell asleep at the light. Oh, my God. I do remember getting home and being like, it is super painful. Mm-hmm. And I remember wanting a milkshake. You have four gaping holes in your mouth. My mom's like got me a milkshake.

And, I see the spoon kind of coming towards me, but I can't taste anything or feel anything. I'm like, when is this happening? She said I just had milkshake running down my face. And you were how old, 18? 18. Yeah. A milkshake down my face couldn't feel any of it.

But then I kind of just remember sleeping for a couple days. But then my grandmother, like a week later, passed away. and I had to be at her funeral with the like um and I got dry sockets and um it is so painful getting I can't remember what leads to getting them um but I got I had dry so milkshakes it was like my face felt like it was just like on fire and I was at the funeral like having to smile a lot and just the act of smiling. Smiling at the funeral?

Yeah, why'd you have to smile at the funeral? I mean, that's a Southern thing. Even when you're sad, you've got to act like you're okay. Really? Yeah. And I just was like, I don't think my face has ever been in that much pain before in my life. So what did they do before? Even when you've had giggle mug?

Even during my giggle mug times. Yeah. I was painful as wisdom teeth. But like, what happens if you don't have them removed? Like in history, they wouldn't have you had yours? No. You're not going to believe this. You don't have me?

You don't have any. Oh, a little baby may. Yeah. You're lucky because it sucks. I know. I'm so lucky. Don't drive. Are there people that in general?

No, after you're, if they do come in and you get them out, don't drive. They better not come in now. That would be, which, by the way, though, speaking of your rear ending, I did smash my tail light. No. Not ready. How? Well, when I went on tour, I parked in my driveway, which is really steep. Usually I parked your bus. No, my, my car, like to leave. So I go on to I fly back and then, and then I was reversing out of my own driveway and I smashed into the gate and because it's really tight and really steep and I couldn't believe it. So I got to get my tail light fixed. Because it just felt like a little tap, but it's fully, but that's my,

I'm just glad it wasn't on the street. It was in a safe driveway. But I feel like I got it out of the way now. My first like, oh, good for you. Good for you, a little cowboy. Yeah, a little bumby bump. Yeah. Tile light won't be too hard to replace. Yeah. Do I have to do it myself? No, I'll go somewhere. We're not going to make you do anything. Thank you. Also that my, my car keeps telling me my tire pressure. is low in one of my tires. What do I do about that? You gotta ignore it. It's fine. No, don't do that, May. You can go to, sometimes I'll go to one of those service

places and I'll tip them if they'll put air in it. Other people learn how to read a gauge and do it themselves. It's up to you. You know what, the gas stations with the little air machines. I never used it, but then you probably need to go a tire place and just pay them a little tip. Tire place. Can you hold? Tire place. Can you put air in my tires and just tip the guy? Yeah. Okay. Or girl or they then? Or girl. Lady or lady. Yeah.

I think there is like a famous lesbian auto shop somewhere. Really? I think it's maybe it's in Toronto that's like just hot lesbians and they're in their kind of greasy overalls. And it's kind of people go just to kind of flirt. they fix your car. Well, what's hot, though? I mean, everyone's got a different idea. What's hot? Yeah, well, but it's sort of like that picture you fix in the car.

Yeah, that's pretty hot. Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, people are doing things with their hands. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, dike. Should we hear Angela's answer? Yeah. Yeah. We should. I was in my early 20s, living in New York City,

interning on the Conan O'Brien show. Oh. And my tooth started hurting me. I went to a dentist. Someone recommended me. And they were like, you got to have your wisdom teeth out. Guess what?

You only have three. You don't have four. You only have three. And then the guy did not put me under. None of them was impacted. He couldn't get it out. Oh. He literally put a knee on my chest.

And I yanked it out. Oh, my gosh. It was painful. And then, I was loopy and I left and I flagged a cab. A New York City cab. All loopy stuffed with cotton sore because the man had to put his knee on my chest. On her hot tub tities.

And then I took that cab to a friend of mine's apartment who was out of town and I was apartment sitting because my apartment was like crappy McRappies. So I stayed at his nice apartment and he left me a stack of DVDs to watch post wisdom teeth coming out and I was on Vicodin and I watched Apocalypse now for the first time. Oh my God. That's my wisdom teeth story. All right. Oh my God.

Oh my God. The thought of having that surgery with no. I don't understand. That's like torture. That's torture. And wait, what does she mean? There's only three. Why did I think I had four removed, Thomas?

Google it up. Four. Four removed. I'm sure she was like how May had none. Some people don't have any. Oh, I thought she said, I thought she was saying, and you only have three, meaning humans only have three. She somehow only had three.

I was like, then he overcharged me. The knee on the chest feels really crazy. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And to be aware that that's happening, I mean, just my nightmare right there. If you're under the influence of any substance, and you're like trying to calm down. Picking what movie to watch is really crucial

and Apocalypse now is not a good idea. I guess I don't understand why there was no... Why they didn't put her under? Yeah. Well, I think they numbed her and stuff. It could have been a money thing. Sometimes your insurance doesn't cover part of it and maybe she was...

But that is our... That's like... Yeah, it happens though. For sure. When I had top surgery and then I came to... I think I've told you this. And I stayed over, I was, I was, I was, that's the only time I've been under and had that out of it feeling.

Wow. And I stayed overnight in the clinic. And, um, I kind of came to. And the TV in the room was playing Richie Rich with McCauley Culkin, the movie. And I thought, well, first I was like, did they model me after hint? Like I look like this now. Fair question. Yeah.

Yeah. I look like 11 year old. And then, uh, so the nurse came in. I was like, oh yeah, thanks so much for putting Richie Richie Richie on and she goes, no, you've requested that. No memory of, I have, I must have, she must have been scrolling through and I'm, were you a fan of it? No, I'm not, yeah, I liked it when I, I might have seen it once when I was a kid, but how weird

that I was like, that one. Like, that's the movie I need to watch. Yeah, and I had no memory of doing that. By the way, I watched a movie the other night and it was, it was my first time to see, and this will surprise you, Forrest Gump. No way. seen it before don't yell at me uh i had never seen it stephanie has told me our entire relationship that i remind her of forest gump and uh you see it i always been like what are you talking about

and so when we're watching and then it finishes i'm like how am i like forest gump and she's like you love to sit in trees you like to sit on a front porch um she was you love chocolate vegan chocolate But she was like, and then, you know, he's in Alabama. You're from Mississippi. She said that, oh, and like when Andrea died and I had left Boulder, I had all of this crazy energy in me. And we were like four hours away. We were staying four hours away. And when I got back to her, I was like, I just feel like I need to go back to Andrea and Meg's house. And I said, I think I'm. might want to walk. And I said, I put it in my GPS, and it's four days in like 16 minutes. And she was like, TIG. She was like, you can't walk back to Boulder. And I was like, no, I like have this crazy energy right now. And she was like, where are you going to sleep? And I said, like, on the side of the river. And she was like, I'll bring some stuff. And she was like, oh, my God. Forrest Gump. She was like, that's so Forrest Gump of you. And then I also love her very.

very deeply. And yeah, so anyway. Oh, she said also the fact that the Pope invited you to the Vatican and now you're like nominated for an Oscar. She said, I feel like you're just open like the feather that's floating through the air and you just kind of say yes and end up in situations and with people that she was like, I don't know. She said you just are forced gumped to me.

Yeah, I get the purity with which he loves. The short haircut. The short haircut. What's the name of his girlfriend in it? Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That's sort of you and Stephanie. And I saw Rita Wilson yesterday and I told her, and it was like a women's lunch thing. And I said, well, you tell Tom that I just saw Forrest Gump and that Stephanie thinks that I'm like Forrest Gump. like, what is she talking about? And then I went through all of those things. And by the end, she was doubled over laughing.

And she was like, okay, I see it. I see it. Anyway. That is hilarious. Wait, I love the idea of you wanting to walk for four days. But I get that feeling like that. It was so intense. Had I not told you that?

No. That I wanted to walk back to. As soon as I got back to Stephanie and Max and Finn, I was like, I don't, it didn't make sense for me. to not be at that house or around those people anymore. And it probably is confusing to hear that after witnessing somebody dying, that it would give, it was like an energy of searching and awakeness and aliveness that I just, I can't really explain it.

But I really felt like it seemed like no problem. I could walk for four days and it would feel. invigorating to walk through the mountains and sleep by the river and live off of berries and whatever. But yeah, she was like, you can't do that. And I was like, okay. But I really, I think if she wasn't with me, I might have done that. Yeah. I mean, like, as you're talking about it, it's making me want to do it. Like, that is such a like my side of the mountain kind of fantasy. Two against one. No. I really, there is a, there is a high. in Colorado that takes like six to eight hours to do and it's it's my goal this summer

yeah to do a very long intense hike potentially with Max and Finn's godparents oh that'd be nice I don't think Stephanie's gonna join no I want to do Yosemite and I want to do the Camino de Santiago and I want to do that I want to do that desperately I want to do that that. Yeah. Yeah, my friend did it and she had a system where if she got to like a fork in the road, she had a rock and like if it was, if she flipped it and it was black, she'd go left. And if it was gray, she'd go right. And I love that. Yeah, she's fun. I mean, it took her twice as long to do the hike. Well, maybe on our wellness weekend, we can hike around my backyard. Yeah, great. When Stephanie and I first got together, I was going to take a walk and she goes, um, she goes, TIG.

It is so late. Can't you just walk around in our backyard? And I was like, no. I was like, I'm a grown woman. It's the same thing, right? Like,

I'm not going to just walk around our back yard. Can you just walk in a circle in the backyard? Like an elephant at the zoo, just pacing. A caged lesbian. Yeah. Must go hike. Well,

that was a fun episode, you guys. I will say I'm so glad we got our wisdom teeth out and it's done and we never have to do that again. And I'm so glad we can be there for May when there's grow in. When May realizes they actually do have wisdom teeth. Yeah. And they've been giving me huge. Those people just don't have them.

I have heard that. Yeah. It's like women that don't go through menopause. Is this that a thing? That would be, I mean, God. Well, I mean, I'm sure they do. But what I meant to say, they don't have symptoms. Right.

Right. Yeah. I have a perimenopause itchy ear. No. What are you talking about? Is that a thing? It's a thing. I started in the last year having an itchy ear, but like where you couldn't like get to it. And I started to worry like, do I have a brain worm? Okay. RFK Jr. Yeah. I know. And I was like, and I, you would scratch it and it would not relieve it. You couldn't get to.

the itch. That's that brain wear man. And then I was watching something on TikTok and I found myself in a perimenopause algorithm loophole and it said itchy ear is one of the perimenopause. That's insane.

I mean, there's been so little research into women's health that like if that was a men's thing, they'd be like, oh, of course the itchy ear for these reasons, but we're just like, well, I guess you get an itchy ear. No way to watch. I'll just be like, ah! Whoa.

Mm-hmm. What a crap. Well, let's hope that's the only thing that you have because good Lord, the rest of the list is not fun. Yeah. Any hoodles. Anyhoo. Anyhoo. Perry Meta balls.

What a podcast. Girl. Girl. A lot of podcasts. Well, we mentioned it earlier. We do have some fun new merch for sale. Yeah, we do. And we also have our live handsome show.

Oh, on May 4th. Netflix is a joke. May the 4th be with us. In Los Angeles at the Wiltern, make sure you get your tickets. It's going to be so fun. And we are not live live in L.A. So it's for the folks that live in L.A. Yeah, you have got to come on out.

Portland, Maine. I'll be there April 25th. There's a late show that night. Late show in Newtown, Connecticut, on April, 24th. June 4th, Albany, New York, a late show was added. Rochester, New York, June 7th. And then also, Spokane, Washington, June 12th, Eugene, Oregon, June 14th. Go to Tignotaro.com for all show information. And also check out, come see me in the good light on Apple TV if you haven't seen it yet. Can I say my tour dates? Yeah. Just a, there's a couple that,

that there's still lots of tickets for on April 5th, I'm in Ottawa in Ontario. April 7th, Portland, Maine. April 8th, I just added an extra show in Boston at the Wilbur. April 9th in Concord,

April 10th, Poughkeepsie, then Washington. Anyway, go to maymartin.com.net and there's, see if I'm coming to your city. There's, I'm on tour forever. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I finally wrapped up my acting for a bit

and I'm back on tour, baby. Yeah. So it kicks back off April 2nd, Oklahoma City, and then Fayetteville and Little Rock, Arkansas, San Antonio, Texas, Dallas, Des Moines, we've added a show, and Toronto. And I'm going to Europe. So for any of our European fans,

I'll be in Amsterdam on April 9th, and then going back to Europe to do Stockholm, Oslo, Copenhagen, London and Dublin. Those are all at the end of May and early June. And then, yeah, Portland, Maine, Detroit, Omaha, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and Rochester, Minnesota. We're everywhere, you guys. Come check out the handsome pod if you want to have a great fun night.

Oh, my gosh. What if we did a full-on arena tour, the three of us? I love it. Would you? I mean, I don't know if I'm into it. arena tours. It feels like it loses a little bit of the vibe. You're right. But, but it still could be, yeah, never mind. We're not going to do an arena tour. No, but we should do more tour dates together. We're having a hard time booking one or two shows. Yeah. But like if we each one on stage for like

40 minutes or something, 30 minutes, that'd be fun. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see. One day. You never know. You never ever know. You never know. But definitely share the. the podcast with people that you would love to join our handsome community, send them your favorite one. How about this one? And also, rate, review, and subscribe. Stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing right now.

Not you, Fortune. Our listeners, rate, review, and subscribe. Also, check us out on YouTube. Look at May's gorgeous face and see the circus that is Fortune. And until next time. I haven't had any sleep. All right, until when? Next time.

Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, May Martin and Fortune Themster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. A podcast. That was a head gum podcast.

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