Handsome - Atsuko Okatsuka asks about signature hairstyles

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

Who better than the hilarious stand-up Atsuko Okatsuka to ask Tig, Mae, and Fortune about their signature hairstyles? Plus Handsome does the news, Amsterdam's red light district, revisiting the button factory, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello it's your uh friend Tig Notaro on the handsome pod and I'm sitting here with my co-host your your friend Mae Martin and your other, Fortune Feimster. Oh, looking handsome. Just a couple of friends. No, more than a couple. A triad. A triad of your best friends. Sitting here perfectly normal. Nothing.

Just having a lovely hang. Having some whisk. Having some whisk. That's short for whiskey. Yes. And also long for a wh for a I have to confess that's an old joke of mine oh you really did seem to come pretty quick yeah yeah well I am quick I do know that about you okay so I'm slow and I've been coming up with short for Wisconsin for the past 45 seconds

that's pretty good thanks but when I say my name and people ask, oh, is that short for something? And I say, no, it's long for t. That's very good. That's another good one. That's good. I thought it was short for tidge. Well, of course.

I feel like in your brain, there's just like a filing cabinet of bits that you can just like pull from it. Like you're a bit upstairs of you like falling into a bar no being thrown out of a bar oh thrown out of a bar yeah yeah okay okay yeah that makes more sense yes yeah did you understand it correctly um i thought you were like getting out of a brawl or something well no i guess maybe i forgot to mention that i have somebody behind me that yells and stay out oh see that was important to the bit so when i'm in new york people hang out on the sidewalks chatting smoking whatever and then i like to throw myself out of the door of a

bar yeah and then look back while I'm like dusting myself off. And it's good to have someone in the bar that yells, and stay out! And then you just walk off. That does sell it. Have you ever, have you been kicked out of a bar before?

No. Me neither. Have you? Yeah. Maybe just for being underage as a teenager, I think. Of course. It's one bar called Timeless that you knew you could drink if you were like 10.

And we would all go. And then one day, I think, he cracked down. He just was like, this is out of hand. It's full of kids. Oh, no. Wait, literally 10? No, like 14, kind of. Wow.

And someone definitely looks 14 when they're 14. Yeah, exactly. You currently look 14 14 when they're 14. Yeah, exactly. You currently look 14. Thank you so much. And he would like, in a way, it was kind of a safe place. Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. You look, yeah, you look 14.

Thank you. Well, the bar's called Timeless. Time does not exist. Yeah. That's true. That could have been y'all's argument. Yeah. It felt like a kind of island of lost toys.

But it was like a safe place to drink as well what was your drink of choice 50 this beer called 50 it tastes like pee and water we would just drink 50s okay and do you have you ingested urine before have you ever been lost in a desert or even on track in a desert like exactly knowing where you're going have you but are people in a desert going somewhere yeah you might be just going to the oasis yeah you might want to let yeah you're walking your camel over to get a sip from the oasis okay i don't think I've ever drunk pee. I can answer this with certainty.

I've never drank pee. Yeah. Any interest? No. I love that you're like, I'm not sure. Yeah, it seems like the kind of like prank I would, but no, I definitely haven't. I definitely haven't drunk pee. Okay.

Well, you don't sound like you're lying or anything. But it's like, I feel interrogated. Have you drunk't drunk pee. Well, you don't sound like you're lying or anything. I feel interrogated. Have you drunk pee? Yeah. Have you? Why? No.

You're very convincing. I would if I was dying of thirst for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're in a situation of survival. Well, how long? When do you know you're about to die of thirst? Your body just tells, oh, is this a mayfax?

Well, you're looking for some numbers and stats? Well, you can not drink water for seven days, I think. You can go 21 days without eating. Y'all should Google this for you. Yeah, no one try this at home. seven days i think eating you can go 21 days without eating google this for you yeah don't no one try this at home but oh oh a million anything may is saying let me be clear always yeah yeah yeah this is a comedy podcast if you have any uh criticisms or questions this is a comedy podcast go ahead

you cannot eat for 21 days but I think drinking is like 3 days wait hold on here's my question I just jumped from 7 to 3 7 to 3 is a big difference 22 days you're out with no food

but day 22 goner I can barely skip one meal that would be difficult well and then also i remember during hurricane katrina yeah like i remember this story about some guy that was like in his uh garage like in the rafters yeah for i think almost two weeks oh yeah that's the thing all these things are mutable right if you can meditate if you're the dalai lama none of us are the dalai are we not no you can will yourself to live maybe uh past the three to seven days well maybe he was drinking his urine the guy in hurricane katrina or the dal Lama yeah anybody really or a doll that looks

like a llama I don't know oh god I think it's one of your best we're off to a strong start yeah I'm having a hard time looking at you two why I don't know no reason

huh okay well um so uh I don't know. No reason. Huh. Okay. Okay. Well, um. So, uh. For those of you that watch our YouTube channel, you'll understand why I said that. I've never felt better and more myself. Oh, good. Yeah. How about you?

It looks very natural. Does it? Yes. Yes. I will tell you guys, I just got back from Europe. Uh-huh. And I went to Paris, London, and Amsterdam. Had shows in London and Amsterdam.

A lot of handsome fans. Real. Out there. Yeah. I love that. A lot of handsome fans. I've mentioned the podcast and got a lot of woo-woos. Go. And there's a bunch of people wearing a handsome shirt.

Again, YouTube followers, check this out. People that are listening uh i hope you can hear fortune shirt i'm wearing a handsome t-shirt yeah do you think do amsterdam handsome listeners maybe pronounce panties ponties they probably do and so they don't get the joke yeah they um i'm not nailing the dutch accent but there was a lot of like i like handsome very very good podcasts handsome yeah you really aren't i apologize to all of our dutch listeners i'm gonna i'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're not gonna be known for that okay yeah well oh you would be pretty pumped about this it wasn't vegan however

i had a really cool uh four course vegetarian experience in amsterdam but like a high-end like super foodie yeah and the restaurant's in a greenhouse i've seen this place i've been to it's called yeah uh 80 of what they serve, they grow themselves. Wow. And it was one of the best meals I've ever had. Really? Yeah. How did you land there?

Because obviously there's many four-star restaurants. A fan had told me about it. She said this is one of the best meals I've had. It's in a greenhouse. It's really cool. I looked it up. It looked cool. And I knew it was near the end of our trip. And knew about by that point jack's would really want healthier food yeah and fresh

you know and i like the idea that they grow almost all of it what were you eating before i mean you know when you're in europe it's a lot of pastries and amsterdam's like they're famous for just like meat and gravy. Mayonnaise on their fries. This one was really cool. I mean, it was like celery mayonnaise on a rice cracker. I was like, there's no way I'm going to like this. That's awful. It was.

And I don't like celery. It was so good. Really? The butter is like made with mushroom. That was incredible. You don't have to sell me on it. I know, but I'm just telling you because I telling you Because I figured you'd love the veggie situation Roasted beets are like a brown butter sauce

Which is weird to think of the combo But it was so good Some kind of root vegetable And the main dish was a mushroom Yeah imagine that The main dish This is a bit of a May fact, but, you know, they recently found out cave people were. Thank you for doing the non-binary.

Yes. They thought were mainly meat eaters, but it's reversed, that they were mostly plant-based and maybe 20 eating meat really and like foraging because they hadn't yeah they hadn't there's no agriculture yet they're just wow that's cool yeah so any cave people in the not that i know of good question i'm not sure let me think and did you do any like sort of touristy Amsterdam thing? Like, did you go to the red light district? I mean, we walked through it just because it's part of that area. You're not like, it's not like you're going down an alley to find it. It's just you're walking through the area anyway.

It's there. But that was like my third trip to Amsterdam. So I'd seen that before. And you and Jax didn't get a prostitute? You didn't get a... Can you didn't get it i can you imagine hello hello ma'am they're all in the window smoking a cigarette like i know again would you like my dutch accent let's hear it um hello would you like to come in and make sexy time that see that was kind kind of... That was Borat. That went to Russian. You were all over there.

Fortune crossed the pond. I don't think they do a lot of ladies stuff. I think they're like, if they do a lady situation, it's a couple, male, female. Oh, really? Looks like someone looked into it. Okay. All right. i like walking through there and then i get really giggly when they're when someone like waves at me from a

window and then i i found out that the time slots you're getting are only like 15 minutes i didn't realize that you're getting they get right to it people are going in like you got 15 fortune what do you mean they get right to get right to what you're paying you're paying you gotta how much is it let's drop the facade here i have no idea how much it costs okay like we're fools yeah i'm too much of a square i could never getot over here. I'm too much of a square. I could never. Get a prostitute? Yeah.

What about you, Mae? I would get a sex worker, yeah. Like if... Yeah. I haven't. But if the situation... You know, if I was really lonely and... Yeah, I'm not against it like philosophically.

Right, right. And I'm realizing, because you just said sex worker, I'm very familiar with that term and i use it but is prostitute not okay now i don't know i'm not up to date but i feel like i hear sex during my research yes i don't i really don't know i feel like when i first moved to england i looked into whether there was a market for like escorts for women and that i could maybe be an escort yeah for for like oh you'd get a lot of people paying some good money for that i couldn't find there's no market for it oh i couldn't find like uh uh there was no

existing like agency that would wait i'm sorry what like there's not It's only the female escorts for the men? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's not enough of a demand of older women looking for people like this guy. A non-binary. Because the women in general aren't doing that as much as men, right? They're looking for that?

I guess so, yeah. Probably zero. There's clearly some people looking for it fortune look yeah oh right oh sorry i forgot you just outed yourself does anyone want to come into my window oh come to my window what guys we get it is that what the song is about is that what come to my window? Closer to fine. Come to my window. Hello, come into my window. Wait a minute. Hello.

Melissa Etheridge does not end that sentence with, ah! Like she has a bad back. Come to my window. My back. Come inside. Wait by the light of the moon we gotta get a question from melissa oh my god do you remember when there was all that talk around who was the sperm donor of her oh yeah remember that yeah it was me it was yeah yeah and it was on oprah and everything it was on Oprah and everything Crosby David Crosby

yeah yeah yeah that was so I mean like ahead of its they were on the cover of Rolling Stone and it was Melissa and her wife and the kids and David

and his wife all on the cover of Rolling Stone. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Katie Lang followed me on Instagram. Recently? And I got really excited.

Today. I got so excited. And then I saw it's like Katie Lang's management team. Oh, no. It's like it's a fan page. For sure. Katie Lang doesn't run this page. There's no way.

We've been talking about it on the podcast. I've been treading water lately, just a few minutes out of my day that I take for myself to do something that's good for me. I wake up feeling better. I have more energy. And you know, small actions like that can have big benefits, like how taking care of your gut can support whole body health. Well, Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic benefits your gut, skin, and heart health in just two little capsules a day. Now, I've been using Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic, and it's great. My skin feels better. I feel better. It's just good. So trust your gut with Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic. Go to seed.com slash handsome and use code 25handsome to get 25% off your first month. That's 25% off your first month of Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic at seed.com slash handsome code 25handsome. I love the show Hacks

and it is back baby for season three. That's right. We are going to see what kind of antics Debra Vance is up to this season. She is such a treat to watch because who doesn't love Jean Smart? She is so freaking talented. Now, season two left off with Ava being fired. If you haven't watched any of Hacks, guess what? It's on Max. You can catch up and I highly recommend that you do so before season three starts. There is also an official Hacks podcast. In each episode, Hacks creators Lucia Agnello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky speak with cast and crew members to unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. So check out that podcast, but watch Hacks streaming exclusively on Max and listen to the official Hacks podcast on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. Katie Lang might pop in on Instagram every now and then. She's too busy out sort of farming.

Yeah, looking into the horizon. Yeah. Like standing in a pasture and staring off. Just being handsome in a pasture. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to brag, but the folks at sing Joe and the Button Factory followed me on Instagram. Well, look at you.

Sharon, Lewis, and Bram. Sharon, Lewis, and Bram. They're Canadian. Yeah, they're Canadians. But I've never seen a response bigger than that people were so outraged that me and Tate didn't know. About an imaginary song it's it's a children's song it's not real joe and the button factory for those of you handsome listeners who've been following along it was ai a few episodes ago i introduced joe and the button

factory song tig and may looked at me like i was an alien. Literally said, no one's heard of this song. And then our friends from Canada, you guys wouldn't know them because they were famous for singing Skidamarinky Dinky Dinky Skidamarinky Dinky. Now that's a tune. You don't know that song either? Well, I don't need to be treated like this. I don't know what got into you this morning.

They were a huge part of my childhood. You're saying, yeah, but I still maintain that the button song, they're just in on this ruse now because it never existed. I feel like the song was more obscure. One of theirs, but thank you,

but they covered it. I feel in our handsome pod talking about it. They posted, they, they tagged me and tagged us uh the handsome pod and put their song on both instagram and tiktok and it went viral the song that they made up based on you making up a song i don't think they wrote the song no one wrote the song song but the handsome pod made joe the button factory go viral. You said it got 4 million views?

I think it's crazy that you went online and you created thousands of bots and fake accounts just to go on Instagram and comment on our clip and be like, I love that song. Yeah, was it worth it? Was it worth it? And you got 4 million. There's a song of over 4 million views.

Well, when we're doing a live show in in canada we should have them oh my god i don't want to brag but they did reach out to me and said we heard you sing a song with you are you serious yeah i'm dead serious okay i mean i can put in a good word for you too i went to see them live when i was a kid with friends on the handsome bod since i'm friends with them now okay i could probably ask them hey can we all collaborate i think they'd be into it on a children's song they're in toronto you're saying essentially that i can get harry styles yeah yeah that's how we're it's our childhood version of that i mean we, we can sing with Melissa Etheridge too, whoever you'd like, but I'm just saying.

Come to my button factory. Come inside. Wait by the light of the moon. I can't wait to put out an album. I used to do this VR boxing workout where I'd be wearing my thing, and then the music was Melissa. You got to choose it out of a handful of options.

The boxing part had Melissa in it? Yeah, and I would choose, come to my window. Why do you box? I'd be boxing alone in my apartment. Do you start it off with, I dare you to come to my window? Yeah, it was really incongruous music for that. I'd be sweating and it was really like incongruous music for that. I'd be sweating. Wow. It was really cathartic. I feel like this is the second time we've talked about

Melissa Etheridge, Come to My Window. Is it? I think so. Oh, I think our last live show was when we talked about it. Oh, okay. Because you did a thing about the window part. Oh, the lyrics. Yeah.

Yeah, because she's saying, Come to my window, I'll be home soon yeah so some girl is like sitting in her window yeah wait by the light of the wait there like what a what a move yeah like hey listen little missy come over here wait by my window by the light of the moon i'll be home soon that's what you know they're into when they're waiting in your window but when melissa when i would i told you i will be home soon when i get done with the button when i'm finished at this other broad's window yeah that was at our live show so people didn't't stream it. They didn't see that whole hilarious bit. You missed it.

You missed it. I feel like I had a Sharon Lois and Bram dinner mat. Back to this. Yeah, sorry. We got to move on. Do you remember dinner mats? Yes, of course. I was a child.

Do they still make them? I haven't looked into it. Because do your kids have dinner? Like, that was big. You'd have your dinner mat. Yes, my kids have dinner. I did not have a dinner mat. I was raised by wolves.

Really? Yeah, it was a free for all. Your food would go wherever. I would have like a plastic dinner. And as a kid, like you just study every speck of that dinner mat. And you know the picture so well. Yeah. And I haven't seen one.

I should get my kids one. I was breastfeeding on a wolf yes i was on the teeth when i'm half beast should we get into our question i mean sure since you don't want to talk about our childhood songs anymore well i mean i knew like mary had a little lamb and stuff. Do you know this is a song that never ends? Yes, it goes on and on, my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was. They'll continue singing it forever just because this is a song that never ends.

Was that a Canadian song? Am I just very in tune with Canadians? I know. What's going on here? Was that a Canadian song? It was Lamb Chopped. with Canadians? I know. What's going on here? Was that a Canadian song? It was Lamb Chopped. I don't know. Have you never heard it?

Lamb Chopped, yeah. Oh, that little puppet? I also, part of it was that I was a Girl Scout. This is coming up again. No, but I'm just saying, a lot of these things, I think, stem from me being a Girl Scout. I was a brownie. Okay. Okay, now we can talk.

Now you have some common ground. Pull your chair up, bud. Wait. You guys should know about how long you can not drink or drink in your pee and food. Well, brownies go to like what? Age nine? Ten? I don't know.

I did it once and I was like. Just one season? Yeah. yeah you're like i'm out uh there was some song that they would sing called like something like some friends are golden some are silver keep make new friends make new friends yeah one is silver i'm the other gold. Do you know that one? No. Two against one. I love Girl Scouts. What would you do in Girl Scouts? Just still eat cupcakes. No. Back in

the day. You put on a little green suit and ate cupcakes. Just eat cupcakes and braid each other's hair. I just love being in a room full of girls. Yeah, yeah. Putting lotion on each other's arms. Cuddling in sleeping bags this is my jam this is like me at camp it's like a horny time but you don't know it's a horny time you know you're just rubbing but you don't really like understand how old were you i mean i started at five and went to 12. see i was smoking in the woods i know you you were it was not um huckleberry tig huckleberry

tig had to get out of there i just needed to be around the the girls my age i needed the boys to not be in the picture right so this was like i was like y'all need to leave me be with jessica nobody knew i was a girl so I didn't need anyone to leave. And plus, I was also, did you water ski in the swamps? No. See, that's what I was. Water ski in the swamps? I was like smoking and water skiing in the swamps.

With like alligators or what? Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Like off the back of a motorboat? Yeah. Or off of the pier, too. Oh, my God. And, you know, I tell people about that

and they're like, no way. And then I saw my brother and I was like, he used to water ski in the swamps, right? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, okay. I started to think I made it up. That's insane. But it takes from like the bayou.

It's just different. You know, you're water skiing smoking a cigarette you know you're fine i was riding my pants we had a whole different situation wetting my cutoff shorts no shirt on yes yeah i didn't wear a shirt when i was little i'd swim and just swim shorts nothing's changed at 10 they were like what is y'all's favorite tv show and everyone was like you know beverly hills 19 whatever it was I was like the golden girls I was just in a different situation

I have one water skiing camp story but and I mentioned my camp counselor once before and then she messaged me and was like you're talking about me again and using my full name no because I said Katie Anderson was my big crush at camp said it again look we're pals now.

I'm going to her wedding at some point, I think. She's like, do you really have to say first thing, last thing? I know, and then I just did it again. Do you have her social security number? Yeah, and it's 312. So she was like the coolest to me. I don't know if other people felt this way, but she was like the coolest counselor at camp

and she was in charge of water skiing. and i wanted to hang with her in the boat rather than have to get wet and get cold and be like and i just wanted to be near her yeah and hanging out and she wore like oakley sunglasses and like hoodie and cool so cool and um what's her number yeah so one day i show up i sign up to water skiing. I'm like, oh, I'll talk to Katie and I'll tell her this joke or whatever. This fact. And then I show up. And did you, excuse me, do you know how many teeth sharks have?

Hello? Hello? So I was like, oh, if I go and I don't bring my bathing suit, I won't have to go in the water. So I show up because it's the other side of camp and I trudge over there. And I'm like, well, I forgot my bathing suit. So I guess I got to sit in the boat with you. And she's like, no, you got to get in the water in your clothes.

What? Yeah. And I was like, what? And she made me get into my jeans. Katie's a real bitch. Fortune. I think Katie was, I think I was playing into it and I loved it.

But she was like, get in. So I went in my it and I loved it but she was like get it so I went in my jeans and my hoodie and I I know for sure you were playing into it oh I was like yeah it's playing this like low status like report and the attention and then so I just remember like the weight of these clothes in the water and it was kneeboarding actually oh man I'm lying there and then the so the boat starts and you got to pull yourself up onto your knees it's like my swamp in a canadian lake and like my wet hoodie like flapping size of an ocean huge well no this one was a little guy and then uh she i don't know if she remembers doing this but basically she got the other counselor to take the wheel and she turned she flashed me and i you know a normal person i let go of the rope and i just like wiped out on the like and it was like my body was hitting

concrete like i just wiped was that your first time now i know now i know why she doesn't want to use her first and last name i think she was wearing a bikini or something. I don't know, but I just was like, I just wiped out. I saw cleavage. My wearing. Those were the days. Those were the days. Yeah. I used to get real sad when she talked about her boyfriend.

Oh, my God. That was always a buzzkill. Yeah. Can we stop talking about Steve? Yeah. He's not good enough for you. You could have all of this. I also got her phone number and then called her.

I mean, I was 14. I called her. She was at university. She was like four years older. Wow. And I remember calling her dorm from a pay phone outside my school. You're like, I'm at Timeless. Would you like to meet?

For a 50 at timeless yeah i remember her being like cool anything was there anything else you wanted to say like i was just like anyway how are things oh my god you both were like mac littles at 14, Mac-ing on people. Me? Yeah. I wasn't. You were smoking cigs? I was just smoking and water skiing with alligators. You weren't being a little Mac?

No, no, no, no. Nobody knew I was, nobody knew my gender. Nobody knew what was going on. I just had a greasy bowl haircut. Gotcha. And which ties in nicely to our guest. Yes, okay. Whose hair is not greasy. But that was my hairstyle of choice for a long time.

So who is our guest today? So our guest today is a tremendously funny person that I like to claim that I discovered. I discovered because there is a show that Netflix was making where you discover new talent and help nurture them. And then the person that wins this competition gets their own hour. Well, the pandemic hit. Everything went away. The show was canceled, never aired aired but guess who i chose and who went on to explode and got her own hbo special and i directed it it's a good origin story wow it's who are you referring to well that's not all she is a nationally touring headliner one of the funniest comics out there working today and a dear friend otsuko okatsuka otsuko so funny so funny and so unique funny bones like really

well that's the thing yeah like unique there's in comedy you know when people say you got to find your voice there is that which means you know what is your angle and what are you talking about but also your delivery and just the way you use words and your inflection and she has her own thing going on very much and that special really popped and very bright and her yeah outfit looked great and her jokes were funny like it really yeah like you turn it on and it stood out yes and she also wears earrings like that are in the shape of a cheeto or eggs yeah yeah lots of different not even in a shape of a cheeto i think they use an actual cheeto and like you know dip it in something and then, dip it in something. And then they dip it in something. And it's an earring.

Well, let's hear our question from Otsuko. Hey, handsome. This is Otsuko. I have a question for you. Okay, so you all kind of have iconic looks and haircuts that you stick with. And so do I. And I was wondering if you could choose your next look for your hair what would it be interesting I mean it's hard to imagine me without this big ball of puff it's not hard to I can imagine anything I want at any time and I'm imagining crazy stuff I'm imagining crazy stuff. I'm imagining a Marge Simpson blue. Oh. Pigtails for me. Pigtails for you. No, not that I want, but I'm picturing them on you. On me.

Yeah. I mean, I do this character, Brenda, but I wear a wig and she has straight hair. People love to straighten my hair. Yeah. Like I'll get on set somewhere and they'll be like, you know what would be the funniest thing to do? We straighten your hair. I'm like, it's been done.

Wait, I like that they're not even saying oh that would look great they're going to be hilarious yeah they go straight to like comedy yeah um so i have had it straightened i look insane really it just doesn't feel right i have these chubby cheeks i like having i like having the fluff just sort of you got a great look don't mess with it how long has it been before the longest was in second grade down to your ass right atlantis morris down to the floor like uh do you know the country singer crystal gale no no what two against one two against one what's her famous song sing it don't it make my brown eyes blue sing it i'm not gonna sing that

i don't know this song do you oh there's so many i i've seen her live and she's got hair down to the floor really yeah but i'm you know is she amish uh she's an amish country singer. My hair was like to mid-back. But I've literally had this same haircut since I was like 18. Yeah. It just works. But it's crazy. My wife Jax is always like, can you put some product in there? She wants me to keep the curls tight and just like in place.

But I'm like, it's a wild mess over here like just let me be wild jacks has a vision she has well when she when my hair looks really good she's done it oh really yeah but what is really good i think it looks really good right now oh thank you this is me and i'm not flirting with you people mistake my kindness as flirting i was wondering okay like like my specials when my curls are tight and it doesn't look like there's a lot of flyaways it doesn't look frizzy jacks has done it okay well i get out of the shower she puts a bunch of products in it she gets a diffuser and she scrunches it as she diffuses you're like her little doll. I am. But if I could change this,

I don't look like a Bob. There's got to be an app where you can see what you look like. Isn't that a Bob in dark? Isn't that kind of a Bob? Like a news lady. You're pretty news lady-ish. Especially in that outfit.

I'm going to take it back to you bob tell us what's going on in the weather today thank you fortune today it is raining well bob that was just a great forecast i'm very excited about what's to come at least my plants will be getting some water all right fortune oh bob and i'm steven doing the sports i love y'all's mustaches what what about you guys i you know how when when someone is in love with you they're supposed to be like it doesn't matter what your hair looks like, but that's not. Like anytime I've been like,

I think I might go dark brown. Whoever I'm dating is like, nah, don't do it. Well, your blonde is your signature. Do you think? But I dye it. Really? I've not seen it dyed.

Oh, no. This is dyed. Oh, that's dyed. I do get my hair sun-kissed as well. Girls! My gray is, oh, natural. I'm starting to get grays at my temple. Well, this TV show I'm about to make,

I was thinking about, because my character's a he, him, and like a trans guy who goes by he, him, and I was like thinking, oh, maybe I could try something different. I could go brown, But I'm scared. As I'm saying it, my blood pressure, like I'm feeling,

like my blood pressure's rising. I'm scared. What color are your eyes? Like greeny blue? Yeah, green, yeah. For some reason in pictures, with your blonde hair, they look bluer. I'm getting lost in your eyes.

Guys, get a room. Don't make my brown eyes blue. I've never seen you not want my brown eyes blue. I've never seen you. Don't make my brown eyes blue. Have you had a different color before? I just sang. I just sang. Oh, yeah, that was beautiful.

Well, when we were in the middle of something, we didn't even hear it. Well, look it up. Don't make my brown eyes blue. Okay, we'll look it up. Crystal Gale. Crystal Gale. God, I love the name Crystal. Yeah, me too.

And I've always wanted to say to someone, you know why your eyes are so brown? Because you're so full of shit. I've always wanted to say that. Why are you holding back? I know. I don't know why. I've never had the perfect moment.

I'm glad you got that one off your chest. Yeah. I'm dying to say that to somebody. You know what I've really been wanting to say to someone? The moment will come. Hey, if you come in here acting like that again, I won't let you. I'm just dying to say that. I sometimes, like, as I'm going through my life,

do you guys have imagined arguments with people? Like, sometimes I'm in a store, and then there's no truth to it, but I imagine, like, what if that person came up to me and said, you fucking gay lord, and then I'd say to them how dare you you know and I'm like going through the whole that's a good response how dare you dare you also gay lord I don't know well that one stung gay lord would probably be one of the nicer yeah well it just sounds like

you're the landlord in like gay people in west hollywood yeah yeah my gay lord yeah you want your rent you come get your rent wow fortune i've never seen you so upset wait so do you guys think i should go brown for this part go brown yeah mainly because it's scaring the hell out of you. Yeah. So do something different and exciting. That's true. You can also dye your hair not in a permanent way, right? Yeah, that's true. And check it out.

Like spray it or something. I don't know. Isn't there like a short term? I don't. Again, this is all natural. What you are looking at, there's not a thing added to my look that is not natural. It might take me like out of myself. So I'd feel like more of a character too. Yeah.

It might make you just get in that zone more. I might get real depressed though. But then you have to go back to blonde, I think. I think so. Once it's done, you got to shake the character off. Yeah. Would you dye your hair blonde? No.

It'd be a lot of work what what do you mean like you'd have to go sit in a chair and get that that done like every like what four weeks you have to get debbie to do it i think four weeks it takes to dye hair no no to keep it up oh i was like oh my god no four weeks nine to five just to get your hair dyed. Just to see if maybe I like it. No, that doesn't interest me. In the 90s, when it was popular to have like, and maybe it is again or still or never went away,

but like dark roots and blonde hair. Oh yeah. I used to want that. I've wanted that too. I have some wigs that have that. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

We can get wigs that have the roots. That's so weird. Yeah, like a kind of River Phoenix or like Blade Runner. I feel like they'd have like bleach blonde and then dark roots. That would be cool. Yeah. I remember seeing that on this one girl going, oh, that looks really. And I never see hair that I'm like, you know, oh, my God, I have got to get that. But you're never clipping out pictures to take to your hairdresser.

I know. This is due. How long have you had this style? I mean, it's a shorter version. I think I've had it a long time. But then when I see an old picture of myself, I have a longer, shaggier haircut. So this, I would say I probably had for uh i mean do you really care it's the part of the question i'm just trying to get your backstory i would say

i've probably had this haircut maybe four or five years okay and uh i i sometimes am very curious well during the pandemic i got to make a dream come true which was um to cut my own hair I was always scared to because I didn't want to mess it up and yeah be walking around or having to film something and then when the pandemic hit I was like oh my god this is amazing I just went nuts and I accidentally was good at it oh yeah I, yeah. I'd trust you to cut my hair. I cut my my father in law's hair and Max and Finn's. But yeah, even like that. I don't know if I talked about it on here, but that zombie movie I did.

Yeah, that's my own haircut that I did in the pandemic and done. Just yeah, I had when I was filming the second season of feel good i cut my own hair and tried to get to the back and took like a it was like a bald chunk in the back of my head and so they took from they had to take from a wig and i was doing a sex scene that day take from a wig a long blonde hair and glue it and then trim it so i had like a patch of fake blonde hair and and i was so worried it was going to come off and just knowing that the person kissing me was feeling this like crusty little toupee on the back.

Oh my gosh. This is crusty too. Well it's so hard to assume or accept that you look normal when you're filming and you have a wig on or something. Oh man, yeah. Or if you had facial hair or something. Someone on top of you.

But I am very curious similarly to just shave my head bald really yeah i sometimes i'd shave the side get a head tattoo and then grow my hair back so i know there's a tattoo wow wait you do have a head tattoo no i would i would i'll get a handsome yeah please get a handsome one put it on the list th Thomas. No one asked me to shave my head. You couldn't? I could not. Come on. I don't know. My hair is my security blanket.

Wait, did you say what kind of hair you'd do? I would do a bob. Dark bob. Oh, right, right, right. And work in the news. And be in the news. Right. I completely blocked you out.

I came with a whole new profession and everything. I do, not to acknowledge the stache, but I would do... Please don't acknowledge the mustache. I would probably do this. You know, if I could avoid the kind of puby stage when, you know, when people are on testosterone and they start trying to grow the facial hair. And I want to avoid that in-between stage. If I could have this.

And how do you avoid the in between stage? You can't really, I guess. Can you just shave it? Yeah, I guess you could just keep shaving until it's like, but even my brother can't really grow a beard. Like I think in my family, we don't really, but I would do like a blonde mustache like this, I think, just for a while, just to see.

I love a mustache. I mean, it looks incredible on you it's a whole personality can y'all tell the audio audience what is on y'all's face yeah if you're listening no they'll have to go to youtube yeah what's going on all right there's a secret that these two have been hiding this whole episode. It is top secret. I don't have what they have right now. You do.

How dare you? So yeah, go to our YouTube page if you want to see. To see Fortune's mustache. I asked if I should join them and I was told no. It's funny too. Because you didn't seem like you were into it and then when we were about to record you were like should I? because I felt like the weird one

well you are you look so weird you look really weird right now oh my god fortune I want to be a handsome team player I like the two against one dynamic on everything. It does work for us.

I'm worried about when I take this off, there's going to be like a red line. There might be. Yeah, there's going to be a significant kind of. Of whatever it is that you're referring to. And what's the problem with that? Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

Maybe that's my new thing. Yeah. Red line. Or like those, you know, people get tattoos in their lip. Yes. Inside. i have a few of those oh my god oh my god that would be crazy if you opened your mouth and you had like russian prison tattoos all flip down your like flip down your lip and i did them all myself i'm so hardcore i bought a tattoo kit i have a home tattoo kit so if you guys do want i definitely don't okay fair enough but no did you someone will want to

be tattooed by you have you done your own yeah okay oh it's not gonna inspire confidence i'll tell you what is it a mushroom is it a marshmallow or something a lot of things like that all right if you're not watching our youtube page you're really missing out right now. You've got like a kind of... May is showing their tattoos. Oh, it's like a triangle? Well, it's sort of like a speckly... I don't know.

I did some... I like that you started small. May, I'm being very chill with your filthy shoes on the couch. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Well, I guess I wasn't chill. I know.

Yeah, yeah. Super chill. so sorry I'm so sorry I guess I wasn't chill so should we hear Otsuka's answer yeah yeah okay so I've been thinking and I'm very close with my mom and grandma there's three generations of us and my mom and grandma both have short permed hair so I thought my next haircut or my next look would be a short curly perm too. Finish off the three generations. Call it done. I like that. If you don't know Otsuko, you should look Otsuko up because she has a very unique hairstyle.

Yeah, my childhood hairstyle. But then if you see pictures of her like her wedding pictures it's down to like her shoulders it's a trip yeah it does look like a whole other person yeah and she also has a hilarious grandmother that is always on tour with her and comes out in the special on stage yeah and when you say hilarious you mean doesn't have a clue what's happening or what she's saying or yeah because they dance a lot together right yeah her grandmother is the cutest person alive yeah have you met her no just seeing her oh my god i when we have dinner plans i'm like can grandma come that's funny that's who i want to spend my

time with because otsuko um invented the drop challenge. Do you remember that? Oh, that was huge, yeah. With the Beyonce song. Where you slide down. You go down very slowly to the Beyonce song. Yeah. That was, Otzko started that. We should probably do the drop challenge. Thomas, put it on the list.

So what is a perm? Like a really curly. A permanent wave and but how long does it last and do they still do them it was definitely a popular thing like it was my grandmother's age like very popular but it involves a lot of chemicals right yeah like how do they but you have a perm, right? How dare you, Gaylord? Fortune! This is not a perm. But if you had, like those older women, that was like the style.

If they had straight hair, they wanted it to be curly, so they would get a perm to just have these really tight curls. And I don't know how long it would last, couple months. But also just girls and some guys would get them too. In the 80s perms were popular. I like to call them permanent wave. I like to elongate the word. That's a good band name, permanent wave. That's pretty good. There's gotta be a band

named that, no? Well, there is now. There is now. Permanent wave. Did it feel really crusty you think? The perm? No. I mean I would go with my grandmother when she would get one into the, they call them beauty parlors. Yeah. And they would do not a perm on me, but she would give me a...

See, I knew it was a perm. Her lady would give me a hair wash and cut. And she had these giant nails and she would just like wash my hair and her nails would dig into my scalp and it hurt so bad oh not in a nice way like no not feel good oh man well have you ever i have the problem where i when i go to a hair salon which i don't really do anymore i believe they're called salons the person who's washing my hair no matter who they are what they look like what they smell like i'm just like i think i'm in love with you i have the same thing yeah yeah i'm like don't have that i can stay here all it doesn't feel

heavenly to you it's so intimate it's like you go back to being a baby or something it's just yeah i want oh interesting i'm like when's it gonna be over really can you not get that water in my eyes ow my eyes are red oh my god i'm just like oh wow uh you know yeah really yeah i don't know if it's like a an asmr thing you know that some people get like tingly sensations if there's very soothing. And it's when they go like, is the temperature okay? I'm like, just the fact that you asked has happened. Oh, look at you two.

Y'all should go to a salon together. Two against one. Why don't you guys go get tattoos and go to a salon together? Fortune. Fortune. I never knew that me not being part of your bit would really leave me on an island all to myself. Are you really feeling it?

It wasn't until now. I'm feeling like I can't really smile with this mustache on my face, and so it's really affected my, like, I'm like, am I having fun? Because my face doesn't know it. How much do I look like I own a pizza parlor? Hey.

It looks so natural. You're like a poet. You look like a poet. A guy that's like. Painter. A guy. Do you want to come? I am a woman.

Do you want to come into my house and read some books? Yes, of course. Can we hear one of your poems? The bird, it flew, and the people. Oh. Oh. The people said, birdie, go. You fly away, you bird, on your way to the high, high sky.

This is the first single of Permanent Wave. Please, Mae, oh sorry interrupt my flow and the bird knows where to go as be back to see family and friends. Tweet, tweet. Flap, flap. Fly. Wait, is that? No. July and furthermore

having said that we must bow our heads in prayer whoa Sharon Lewis and Brim we got a hit on our hands amen this is just the middle of the poem

and please fortune please wow that was this is the big this is just the middle of the poem oh god and you really wouldn't well please fortune please i'm really feeling it right now why are you uh talking back to my poem you really went into this character very easily yes well well well i really like a poem that has a line in it and another thing you really like a poem that has a line in it that's just yes yes yes that's my favorite part well it rhymes it's a triple rhyme

yes yes yes you look like that Mae looks like a like a cop or a mechanic I was going more like Robert Red mechanic i was going more like robert redford and you know i was thinking more like old grandma what you know sometimes they have the mustache yeah i was thinking mechanic maybe more mechanic okay yeah so you want me to tune your car i kind of was thinking more like the village people oh yeah, yeah. I like that. Yeah. I'll go with that.

You seem open to any of these. I'm open to all of them. I know. I'm open to all of them. They look to role play. Oh, yeah. Okay. Grandma, I like it.

Okay. Okay. Well. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. Do you guys have anything to promote? I do.

I'm going to be a Dynasty typewriter March 1st, and then I'm going to be in Peekskill, New York, March 8th, and then March 9th is sold out in Maine, but March 10th I'll be in Waterville, Maine. And you can go to Tignotaro.com for all show and ticket information but I am working out new material in LA and you don't want to miss it it was only then as you were saying the dates and stuff that I really took in the mustache and beard and suddenly was like this is the funniest thing I've ever seen I couldn't look well you know you have a mustache as well I know I got it

yeah what about you fortune I'm on the last leg of my tour. So coming up, I have Durham and Wilmington, North Carolina. Los Angeles. I got a show at the Ace Theater. The Beacon in New York City. And then I just added dates. Albany, New York. Hartford, Connecticut.

Bakersfield and San Luis Obispo in California. And then Toronto is capping it all off. When's Toronto? I'm going to send all my pals. Toronto is May 18th. Oh, I'll be there. At the Massey Hall. Oh, Massey Hall is a very historic venue.

I saw the kids in the hall there. Oh, nice. I'm excited. I'll come. I would love that. Please. Yeah. Everybody wear your handsome t-shirts to all these shows. Yeah. Check out our merch. I got nothing. I'll come. I would love that. Please. Yeah. Everybody wear your handsome T-shirts to all these shows.

Yeah. Check out our merch. I got nothing to promote, really. Maybe even wear a mustache to the show. Wear a mustache to the show. Make Fortune feel further alienated. Propeller hats and mustaches. May was rocking their little cowboy hat.

The little cowboy hat is... I'm loving it. It looks really good. Thanks, I'm loving it. Because it's like a, it's a color I haven't seen really on hats. You've never seen that color? Not on hats, it looks cool. Fortune.

I've seen that hat, that color. Okay, I got it. Anyway, you can get one of these handsome t-shirts. That's good looking. We've been seeing these in crowds shows and they look really cool. My girlfriend wears it as pajamas. So I'm seeing both your faces in my battle lots.

She's a real fan of the show. She's a big fan of the pod. I love that. That's great. Jax will listen after the fact. She'll be like, what did you say about me? Yeah. When she starts getting messages and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know Stephanie will say things to me where she's like somebody messaged me about and it'll be something we said the day before yeah yeah at home in bed she's like i'm like oh yeah i mentioned it's just like wow we listen we're sharing our lives with you guys because we love you and we appreciate you listening and you're our only friends yeah and we're your only go to our youtube channel to check out the video versions of this hi to all of you watching yes yeah hello and uh yeah i'm sure i'll be around in la doing shows yeah check out you have a i just

post them on instagram and stuff i'm'm usually at Largo once a month. Nice. And also, tell your friends. Tell your friends. We love you. I'm sure we'll love your friends. Bring them along. Share your favorite episode with them. It's probably this one.

I was just going to say, is it this one? This goes down in the handsome folder. Folder. This is down in the handsome folder. Folder. This is definitely in the handsome folder. Well, until next time. Keep it handsome. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Themester. The show is produced is produced recorded and edited by thomas willett email us at handsome pod at gmail.com follow us on social media at handsome pod what a podcast