Handsome - Bob the Drag Queen asks about movie musicals

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

Bob the Drag Queen asks the handsome hosts about movie musicals, so you KNOW there's going to be singing! Plus beautiful people blowing on dice, slumber parties, and... a Handsome MUSICAL?!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Handsome Pod. Handsome Pod. Handsome Pod. Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers. Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. Oh, that was just like chicken.

It's your handsome podcaster, Fortune Famester. I'm also your handsome podcaster, Mae Martin. I am your pretty little lady, Tig Notaro. Mae, turn it up a bit! Yeah! Mae, get that party going in your pants. Oh my God, I haven't heard that song in so long. Keep singing it.

It's been a while. Keep that party going in your pants. Yeah. And invite people. And then get to the, you know, you remember the really sad bridge? Don't kick me out too early, I'm in your pants. What, May?

Remember the really sad bridge of the song that got suddenly really sad? Can you do that part for us? Oh, we were all at the party and we had RSVP'd and when we got to the door they said, we don't see your response. I'm so sad. you have to go. This is heartbreaking.

This is heartbreaking. Well, when you RSVP'd in May's pants, we mean you really RSVP'd. I like to keep track. I like to have a written record of who's in my pants. So you do have to RSVP or else you're not going to do. Do you ever hear it like, hello? I go, what's this? What's the password?

RSVP man, but that was heartbreaking. Fortune. Yeah. It was. Cause when you think you've RSVP'd yes. It was, because when you think you've RSVP'd yes, and it turns out either they didn't get it or the RSVP was no, that's sad. Oh, out.

I don't think I've ever had that happen, but I know it would be heartbreaking. You ever get those evites and it's like, yes, no, maybe? Yeah. Yeah, and then when I, yes, no, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. And then when I do maybe that part of me where I don't wanna be saying I'm going to something and then I'm not there and then, you know,

I'm like, do I have to go check back? Cause in my brain, I'm like, oh, I RSVP'd maybe to my friend's book launch, you know, how many pairs, right? I do have a lot of book launches. So many book launches, you know, nobody cares, right? I do have so many book launches. So many book launches, if I had a dollar. Look, I'm trying to get this book launched.

You guys, how is your day so far? Well, Tig has been doing stuff, that's all I know. You went to a baseball game. Yep, my son's team loses every game, but that's not to say they're not good at playing. Yeah, Finn is the pitcher and he is, he's a really good pitcher, like it's crazy. He doesn't just pitch the ball, he knows different pitches.

Whoa. That's what's up. So what's the rest of the team doing, letting them down? Everyone's doing their best, you know? Catching butterflies. Yeah, yeah, wandering off. But I think it's probably good actually. Yeah, it's character building. Yeah, I think it's good for Finn because he is so good

and he's so athletic that it's probably good for him to be on a losing team. I don't know, humble. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really, I think we've talked about this. I'm just, I don't really follow sports. It's not my thing. I play and I'm just, I don't really follow sports. It's not my thing.

I play and I'm athletic. I can't even say I play. I used to play soccer and you know. You played pickleball, don't you? Don't you? Pickleball. I did, but I broke my femur and I had all sorts of issues. Of course I did, yes.

And I have to have surgery when I finish filming Star Trek. So it's hard, I can't play pickleball. But anyway, the point is, I don't know what I was talking about. It's like a Mighty Ducks situation. They're the underdogs. That's very charming and sweet.

I think, yeah, it'd be weird if they were just like, but why was I talking about me being athletic? That's why I don't have a clue. Were you talking about you watching the game or what kind of fan mom are you? Yeah, yeah. I am, this is who I am. We will be, well, just to back up a little bit,

when I first got together with Stephanie, we had been together like a year, maybe, maybe nine months or something, and she joined an all female basketball team. Oh, and- Yeah, over that, the pistol shrimps. This pistol shrimps. And so I would go, I went to her game,

the first game I ever went to, I watched the game. We leave, we get into the car. And I said, that was fun. And she was like, that girl was throwing elbows and blah, blah, blah. And then I should have had that one shot. And I saw this side of her where I remember I was stunned into silent.

I was staring at her, had not seen any side of this in her personality. And it was so interesting. I didn't know how competitive she was. And so I was like, oh yeah, I didn't notice any of that. I was truly just, I just, you know what I mean? Like that. I was just watching people jump up and throw things and whatever. And it's kind of similar with Max and Finn's game, you know, I'm, and also they're tiny. So it honestly, no matter whose team hits a ball, catches a ball, runs, it's exciting.

And it's like, yeah, you know, you're clapping, you know. And so when we left, when we leave the game, you know, it's kind of the same vibe of like, that was fun. And somebody's like, yeah, but that one blah, blah, blah. She has a whole feeling about everything, whereas I'm like, wow, I wasn't. And I told her, I said that I feel like it's the perfect example of ignorance is bliss.

I'm not following a thing. I'm just having a great time and I'm happy and who cares. Yeah, let's just watch and go home. No parents have gotten into any big brawls yet? No, it's mainly the parents get frustrated with the ump. The ump. Oh, I wasn't expecting to hear the phrase the ump today. The word ump.

Yeah, happy to hear it always. Yeah, I didn't know ump was gonna be a part of my life. But yeah, I see the parents kind of hang out by the fence right behind the ump. They'll be like, what are you talking about, ump? That was, you know, that kind of thing. I wanna see you there next game. I wanna see you behind the ump.

Me? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, that would be hilarious. Do you know what Vin does that is so hilarious? I didn't know that this was something that you do in baseball, but when he goes up to bat, he holds the bat and he puts his hand out behind him at the up. What is that, why?

You're asking for time. He's not ready. You're asking for time. Oh. Even, even. To get his stance. He's asking for time. He's asking for time. Oh. Even, even. To get his stamps. He doesn't need that. Also, he does it when there's no up. He just does that when he's so performative. Just he doesn't.

He's just mimicking professional baseball players. Yeah, it is the cutest, funniest thing. And Stephanie pointed that out to me. Yeah, and she was like, she was like, you know what he's doing? I was like, what? And she was like, he's telling the ump to hold on, he's not quite ready.

And it's so ridiculous because of course he's ready. He's eight. You know? What kind of personality type you think wants to be an ump? Is it like a control thing? Or even the ref in soccer and stuff? It feels like a really specific type. They love the sport, but they can't play,

they don't really play anymore. See, I could see, I think Finn really enjoys playing, but he also loves reffing. And they call him the ref at his school, because he gets in there and he refs all different games. He knows the rules to every game and he keeps track. Like this morning, early this morning, we went and played putt-putt golf

and he's the scorekeeper. He is the scorekeeper. Who went from putt-putt to baseball? Wow. Yeah. This is a sporty family. Yeah, seriously. Well, and we just got Max a skateboard. We went and got it.

Oh my Lord. Stephanie and I took Max on his special day with us and we went just the two of me and Stephanie took Max to the skateboard shop. And he was like, where are we going? Where are we going? We're like, we're, you know, it's a surprise. And we pull up.

Oh, that's the best and go in and he walked in and he has wanted a skateboard forever. We walk in and he sees wall to wall skateboards and his face lit up and he looked up at us and we were like, yep, we're getting a skateboard. And Stephanie started crying when he looked at us. Like, oh my God, I'm getting a skateboard. Stephanie started crying when he looked at us. Like, oh my God, I'm getting a skateboard? But yeah, they're pretty sporty.

I wanted to learn how to skateboard, but I was too much of a wuss. Yeah, it's so scary. I just felt like I was gonna hurt myself. I skateboarded. I love the way you touched your face when you said that. I was gonna hurt myself. Yeah, I hurt myself. I was a bit of a wuss.

I was a wuss. I feel like I'd like to, I could maybe pull off being a skater. I think for sure. Energetically. I assumed you were a skater. Yeah, I was gonna say, I assumed you had four wheels under you at all times.

When you were like pushing your hair back. Like, that was such a compliment. Girls and guys chasing you down the street. Oh, you guys are so nice to me. RSVPing to my pants. I'm a little skater boy. Oh my God, RSVPing to your pants. I would love to like flip the board up on my shoulder.

Yeah, that would be cool. It's not too late. Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. It's never too late to start skateboarding. Yeah. So what should I do first, get my driver's license or learn to skateboard? Oh, you definitely should get your driver's license first.

Okay, all right. When is that happening? I thought that was happening like a year ago. I know, remember the whole saga? I had Perla, the teacher, I took nine lessons. What happened? Just life, you know, life. Stephanie's sister had a driving instructor

that had her drive through a fast food restaurant while they were. I respect that a lot. I really respect that. You do need to practice going through a drive-through. Big time, that's why you got a car. And you need to practice eating and driving. It's the rules.

There are some drive-throughs where you can see how many cars have smashed into the side of the wall. Really? Just drunk people being like, I got a big mack and then just. It was a sharp turn and they couldn't handle it. It's not gonna be me. And then you think, well now I have to spend $1,000

to fix my car for this $15 meal. You could also go through the drive-through on your skateboard. Yeah. Oh my God. Do you think they would serve you? Yes. Whoa. They would? I thought if you were on foot, it was a no-go.

But you got wheels. Well, sure, but, yeah, May's not on foot. May is on wheels. No way. Don't judge my car. Don't judge my car. Yeah, this is a car. How do judge my car. Don't judge my car. Yeah, this is a car. How do you define a car? This is my car.

But what if I got those shoes, like running shoes that have little wheels in the soles? Yeah, you pull up and you order. Screech, yeah. Screech. I had some chicken McNuggets the other day. I haven't had McDonald's in a long time. Like how long?

Well, not that long. Maybe six months. That's what I want to know. Yeah, maybe six months. But it's like a really specific mood takes me, you know? And it was getting colder out and I wanted some steaming nugs and I- Steaming nugs.

Yeah. Oh my God, what are we talking about? 20 chicken McNuggets, 20 chicken McNuggets. You had 20? I had 20. 20 Nuggets sounds like something that I do not, I also don't wanna be a part of. 20 Nuggets?

Yeah, not even 19. Yeah, I felt really- You went for the gusto there. I felt pretty rough after, I will say, but man. Really? That first bite. You had different sauce? Oh yeah, I had all the sauces.

Oh, you had multiple kinds of sauces? Yeah, barbecue, hot mustard. I would never have guessed I would be on a podcast, basically promoting McDonald's. I don't wanna lie, I did have a Happy Meal last night. Last night? Oh my God. I had a gig in Vegas, I just flew back like two hours ago.

And we're not saying we support McDonald's as a business or franchise. We are supporting them as a business and a franchise. We're also saying we don't not support them. We're saying we don't go there. What comes in a happy meal? Like that's what I thought that was for children. It was six nugs and a little baby fry

because I didn't want a big meal and it was right outside the casino and Vegas is a whole thing, you know? And I was like, I don't wanna go, my manager was like, you wanna go to a restaurant? I'm like, I surely don't. I was so tired, because I just got back from my Europe trip,

and then I had to go to Vegas. And I was like, I just want a little something. And the McDonald's was just right there. And I was like, I'm just eating a happy meal. And I was happy. And so, but tell me what a happy meal, it's just tiny amounts of food? Yeah, it's like a smaller version of everything.

But is there a toy inside? There was a toy which I said no to, but I had regrets because the toy was like a mini version of Crocs. How could you say no to that? And you wanted that? I brought it in two against one. You could put him on Biggie.

Yes! Exactly, three more Happy Meals and he has every foot covered. We're all busy these days, especially if you're a homeowner. So you're looking for ways to save time and save money. The good news is that Allstate makes it easy to switch your home insurance policy

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It's like. Yeah, it's like a smaller, I didn't want the big giant meal. I understand. But it comes with a toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I remember, I mean, like such genius marketing to call it a happy meal.

And then I remember when I was like 10 or something, Beanie Babies were huge. Remember like the craze of Beanie Babies? And you could get them in your happy meal. And so we'd go and you'd try to find someone working there who you could kind of not bribe, but you could be like, hey man, can you check in the meal and see what the Beanie Baby is before?

Because I really want the iguana or whatever. And then you, you know, and they're not supposed to do that or trade around the toys, but sometimes they- Yeah, they would, yeah. I will say, it wasn't a little embarrassing to walk through the casino with my tiny little box because it does come in a very specific little box. And I had to walk through the casino holding my tiny little box, because it does come in a very specific little box.

And I had to walk through the casino holding my little box. People telling me that- You didn't have to walk like that though. I did, I walked like this. Go to YouTube, go to YouTube. And people were stopping me saying they enjoyed the show. It was a corporate gig. And I was like, thank you.

And then someone wrote me today, saw you last night with your Happy Meal. Really? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh no. When people reach out on Instagram or something and say, hey, I saw you doing this the other day, and you're like, oh my God, I didn't know I was being... No one saw you. Did I tell you about when somebody wrote and said, I saw you at the Jewish History Museum in London? I was like, oh yeah, I was there. And then they wrote, you were playing a game

of foosball by yourself. And I was like, fuck. I was running from side to side. I was playing by myself. Like I was playing the game. I was spinning- Oh my gosh. You were at a Jewish museum that had a foosball table? Yeah. Alone?

Yeah, I went by myself to learn stuff. Why did they have a foosball table? That's a really good question. I think it was in the lobby. It was like, why did they? Did you have a moment where you're like, if I'm seen right now, this'll maybe look a little silly. Absolutely not.

I thought you're just living your best life. Just living my best life, yeah. That would be hard though, because there's a lot of things, a lot of fusing, levers. A lot of fusing, yeah. A lot of fusing. Fusing the balls.

Fusing and boozing. That's what she said. That is, she did say that. She did say that. She really did. I heard her, yeah, everybody knows she said. She did say that. She really did. I heard it. Yeah, everybody knows she said it. So. I didn't gamble though.

Oh you didn't? If anyone's wondering. Are you normally a gambler? No. Okay, so no big shock there. You don't ever gamble? I'm not a big gambler. I don't like losing money.

Wait, your mother was a gambler. No? She was not, but that is so funny to think that my childhood issue revolves around my mother being a gambler. No, my mom doesn't hardly gamble at all. I had an uncle who gambled and had some major debts that my grandma helped pay off.

Oh shit. But yeah, I'm not, I don't like, if I go to a casino and I do gamble, I don't really know how to play a lot of the games. Yeah. I don't know how to play poker. I could do blackjack. Um, I don't really know the rest. So it's usually a slot machine situation.

I'm partial to the wheel of fortune. Uh, one for obvious reasons. Why? Your name, your name. Oh, wheel of fortune. Of course. Sorry. I was like, was fortune on wheel of fortune? Like celebrity wheel of fortune. And so it was Tig. I was too.

And Tig's wheel of Fortune moment was pretty hilarious. And yeah, I give myself a limit. Like I'll only spend a hundred bucks. I wanna go to a casino with both of you and maybe- I'm not a fan of them. Put it on the list, Thomas. Put it on the list. Cause what's the game where you get some beautiful person

to kiss the dice before you roll them? Oh, I mean- That's not- Crap?'s not necessarily part of it. Well, I was just thinking that every cap, crap, say, well, doesn't come with a beautiful person to kiss your dice. Really? What is that game, though, where you have a beautiful person RSVP to your pants? Yeah, what's that? What is that one? It's called party in your pants.

I wish there was a casino though, that every craps table came with a beautiful person to kiss the dice. Well, what I want is you with your little happy meal and you're in like a sexy red dress or something. I'm sitting at the craps table and then I put my hand back and you give a little kiss. That's what I want.

Yeah, why not? And then I roll snake eyes. Is that a thing? I'm shoving chicken craps table and then I put my hand back and you give a little kiss. That's what I want. Then I roll snake eyes. Is that a thing? I'm shoving chicken nuggets in my mouth, kissing your dice. Yeah. And sometimes you give me a bite of the nug. Yeah, yeah. That would be so funny to have a not traditional hot chick standing at the table to kiss Dice.

Wait, what are you saying? Like if, how dare you? Fortune, I'm including all of us here. If we were all stand, if we were hired to stand next to a death for like a first straight man. Yeah, businessmen. Yeah, we let us. Come on Ralph.

Yeah. Like that. Let us bring in your beauties. Bring in your beauties. Here they come. Bring in your beauties. Where do you want me to kiss? Where do you want me to kiss? We have our chicken nugs,

you have your plant-based nugs. Yeah. Steaming nugs. Steaming nugs. Yes. That sounds like a good business model to me. Me too. I got nothing to report from my day. I didn't... Actually, I'm a little hungover.

Oh, yeah? Which, yeah. Where did you go? I just went to a friend's house, 10 houses up from me, and I drank a bottle of champagne. I thought everyone else was drinking the same bottle. Like I thought we were all drinking the bottle of champagne, but everyone was drinking different things. And then the bottle was empty and it turned out I was the only one.

Well, a whole bottle. Doing tarot cards. And then so when you wake up hungover, what is that? Are you like hurling everywhere or is the room spinning? What's going on? No, no, it's been at least six months since I hurled. No, I'm not a big drinker, but this morning it was, it was like a sort of existential dread.

And like, what did I say? What did I say last night when I was doing tarot cards? But we had a dance party in the kitchen and danced to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. That was pretty good. I like that. And it was just you and a friend? No, it was a bunch of people from the cast and yeah, it was good. And you read people's tarot cards for people?

Yeah, I kind of forced every... I was getting really controlling about the way they were pulling the cards. I was like, the way they were thinking of the questions. I don't know. It was a weird side of my personality. No, that's not right. I think I gave someone a Magic Mike laugh dance. That's, that's just come back to me and the hangover inside. If you think you did, you definitely did.

It's too specific to not happen. Yeah, it's really specific. And what? I know. How about that? How do we think that unfolded? I think people were like challenging me to dance and being like, don't be shy, you never dance.

And I was like, all right. All right. Don't be shy, you never dance, they said. Yeah, they were like, come on, May, dance. And I was like, okay, I guess it's all or nothing. How does your cast know how frequently you do or do not dance? Good question, Tig. Thank you, Fortune.

We've been out a couple times and I haven't danced. And then also like people were dancing last night and then I was kind of lingering with my tarot cards near the side. And then, and then so. They just wanted to distract you from pulling these cards that were bumming people out. Yeah, and just like projecting all my own stuff onto their fortunes.

Just. There's that word fortune again. There it is again. What made that, what made you guys think of me? Do you remember if you enjoyed the Magic Mike dance? Yourself? Yeah, I think I enjoyed it a lot. And then, I mean, it probably lasted about 45 seconds

and around seconds. I thought you were gonna say minutes. 45 minutes. 45 minutes. Everyone's standing silently. While you're hurling. Oh my God. And they can't tell you to stop

because you're the star of the show. Oh my God. You know those kind of tricky situations. Jesus. Oh, I am the star of the Netflix show. I thought Tigger was saying I am magic. Magic in this scenario. May is the star of their show.

So when you're a star, people can't say, hey, you're annoying or hey. Don't say this. What? Oh, you're right. Yeah. What if that's what, what if no one wanted the Magic Mike laugh dance?

They for sure didn't. No, Tigger. They didn't want it. Certainly not for 45 minutes, May. Listen, it was 45 seconds and then around second 44, I did suddenly think, oh my God, what am I doing? And then I stopped. There are a lot of people out there

that would want a Magic Mike dance from you. We don't know about who you gave one to last night. Because I'm not really a confident dancer at all, but that's one thing that I think you can learn the moves and I could get good at magic mikes. That is the best dancer to watch is someone that's not confident. Oh man.

And so is this going to be potentially embarrassing when you return to work? And do you remember who you were, all right, is this a good question too? Magic Mike-ing. Yeah. Fortune, is this a good question? Yeah, it's a great question too.

Okay, I like when you say that. I like when you say good questions. I got you, boo. Okay, thanks. Is this a good answer? Fortune, yeah, it is gonna be embarrassing. No, I don't think so. Everyone had a great time. I think I really brought the party, you know? is gonna be embarrassing. No, I don't think so. Everyone had a great time.

I think I really brought the party, you know? Yeah, you did. Every drunk person thinks that. You're like, you're like, sat in the corner drunk and then you're imagining Mikey, it's amazing. Oh my God, oh my God. You think everyone else was drinking and they weren't? Oh my, no, they were drinking,

they were just not drinking the bottle of. I don't know. Oh my God. They're were drinking. They were just not drinking the bottle. They're like, Oh my God, May showed up to the party, drank a whole bottle of champagne and was dancing on everybody. Oh God, you better. It was only 10 houses down from you. So you could know. Did you just tuck and roll home?

Yeah, I just somersaulted home. Rolled down the street. I think at the wrap party, I have to make a point of like wearing little spectacles and being really demure. Little spectacles? That makes one demure. Professorial, you know, and like, well, thanks everyone for all your hard work.

I went to the gym today and was sweating out that champagne and just were there bubbles coming out of your pores? Yeah, just covered in bums. Bloop, bloop. Bloops. Well, I'm glad you had a good time. There was a little there was a little dish of chalk in the gym that you can use to you put on your hands before you pick up the weights.

I'm like dipping into the dish with my sweaty palms. And then this woman is like, sorry, can you not use my chalk? And it wasn't a communal chalk. It was just her. I was like, I was about to say, I don't, I've not heard of communal chalk in a gym unless it's a gymnast gym.

I know it was her personal chalk. And she said that directly. Can you not use my chalk? Because I just walked up right beside her and dipped my palms in. But also I would let someone use it once. I know. But May kept going back, right?

I definitely went a couple times. Oh you went a couple times? Well you have to let them use it once because they did something you weren't expecting to happen and oops, they've got your chalk. So whether you let them happen or not. Oops, I've got your chalk. Well, when we were putt-putt golfing this morning.

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if you go to drinkag1.com slash handsome check it out it was me Stephanie Max and Finn and their godparents okay so it was a gaggle of us and there were some kids behind us that were probably junior high school, the most obnoxious, annoying kids. Like I didn't even, I didn't even recognize these kinds of personalities. Like they, they would run over our little putting green while we're putting. Oh, and, and, and they'd be like talking to us

and like starting to put when our group hadn't finished. Oh, that's a no no and mini golf. And I had to many times, this reminded me of having to be direct with a stranger where I was like, excuse me, I said our group has not finished. I had to do this three times to the point where I was the last one.

So I got the brunt of it all because everyone had gone through and I was the last and they were really eager by the time I was ready to go. And I started holding my golf club up like a wall. Just because they were like feral animals. Yeah. So were they chaperon-less? It seemed that way for quite a few holes

and then an adult seemed to appear. I don't know, but I was like, what on earth? Yeah. Who are these people? I didn't understand because every time, even when I thought about myself at five or six, I wouldn't do that. Much less, look, I wasn't a perfect child,

I'm not a perfect person, but I was, sure, I was smoking when I was seven, but I would not run across somebody's putt-putt green. Yeah, that's a big faux pas. And especially if an adult was like, hey, back off, my group has not finished. I would be like, oh, that would be startling to me that I did something and an adult

that I didn't even know told me to stop. Right, these different times these days. It is different times. I used to be like, these kids don't give a F. Don't make me say the real word. I was annoying like that, but then, yeah, if an adult chastised me, I'd be mortified. Like I would be annoying and be doing annoying things,

but then. And I didn't yell at them. I just said, hey guys, our group hasn't finished. Scram, scram, ruffies. Scram, clowns. But then like, then the next time it happened, I was a little more firm. I was like, guys, guys, our group has not finished.

Please, can you back up and let us? Oh my God. It was so insane. Was there a world in which that you guys could have let them go ahead or that would have been not good either? I mean, I wasn't smart enough to think of that. And I think also Max and Finn were, I just, you know. They were in the zone. Yeah, yeah.

And they wanted to go and do their thing and they were so into it. And so were these teenagers, but man were they annoying. I remember getting so annoyed at my mom when we'd go see a movie and if someone was crinkling a candy wrapper, my mom would be like, immediately, she'd spin around and be like, excuse me.

And I would be so embarrassed. And then now I'm like, I'm her. But I'm worse because I'm passive aggressive. I'll just sigh and I'll give a lot of looks. I'm like, I should just say what my mom said and be like, excuse me, please stop doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jax was subbing a couple years ago for middle schoolers and she came home and she's like, no, never again. They're so mean. Really? They're so mean. They're mean to me, they're mean to each other. And now those middle schoolers would be these high school teenagers.

There was a buffoonery about them too. See, I am kind of relating to them though. I'm remembering like when Jackass was on and stuff, like I would, and I was in improv class and I was like 13, I'd go to the mall and I was such a, I'd like get in the fountain and all my clothes or I'd like go to the security guard and I'd ask where the mall is, you know.

Then it was your people. This is for sure your people. I was the girl at slumber parties talking to people's parents like, hi Janice, I love tea. And being like guys, we shouldn't watch a PG-13 movie. Not all of us are 13. Meanwhile, I was smoking. Can you call me Mrs. Bum Gardener?

Okay, Janice. Bumgardner. Okay, and you call me Miss Feimster. I too can play this game. I was always trying to hang out with the parents. Me too, yeah, flirting with the moms, yeah. Yeah, well, I was not flirting with the moms. May had a party.

May's like, oh yeah, Florida clothes. Just fingering everybody. Ms. Bumgarner, Ms. Bumgarner, you want a RSVP to my pants? Yeah, did you get the invite? Um. What with that parent thing? Okay, should we get into our,

oh, go ahead, yes. No, I was just continuing the, it's fine, it's over. Mrs. B, I was just continuing the, the, it's fine. It's over. Mrs. Bumgarner telling me, can you please stop hitting on me? All right, Janice. Um, all right.

Today's question asker is a drag queen, comedian, actor, and activist best known for winning season eight of RuPaul's Drag Race. He's appeared on shows like High Maintenance and a Black Lady Sketch Show and co-hosted We're Here on HBO. Bob the Drag Queen is asking today's question. Nice. Hey, handsome.

It's me, Bob the Drag Queen. I have a very important question for you. What is your favorite movie musical of all time and why is it Chicago? I need to know the answer. I should think all the time about the, I don't know, reality in which Tig took the job in Chicago the musical on Broadway. Remember you were offering it? With Pamela Anderson, yeah.

You and Pam. Well, when I saw the Pamela documentary, which is phenomenal if you haven't seen it, check that out. Yeah. She's in the Chicago musical in that documentary. And I was like, whoa, I was almost in that. So, yeah.

The Chicago song has been going viral on TikTok where people are doing the like Broadway dance to it. The gun, the gun, you beat for the gun, for the gun. And I wanted to learn it, but I didn't. Let's put it on the list. Let's learn the dance. Chicago is amazing. It's the list. Yeah. Put them on the list. Let's learn the dance. Chicago is amazing.

It's a classic. Yeah, yeah. The Cicero, is that a part? Cicero. Uh-huh. Cicero. That's all you, Cicero. They had it coming.

They had it coming. Yeah. They had them something. They only had themselves to blame. I really have first- Sunny! Oh God. What's that part? I don't know. I really have first. Sonny. Oh God. What's that part?

I don't know. I don't know the musical. Oh, you were just chiming in with it. Yeah, I just, it felt like the kind of thing where you go Sonny. Sonny, yeah. I love movie musicals. It's hard to pin down.

You're like a jukebox of movie musicals. You're born to be in them. I love them. But I won't get into mine yet. You guys tell me, do you have a favorite movie musical? I do. What is it? Grease, one of the only movies I've ever seen. I knew it was gonna be Grease.

It's pretty perfect. It's a pretty great one. It's so great, but also I went and probably saw it seven times in the theater one summer, had my grandmother take me over and over. But it took me until I was an adult when I saw it again, where I was like, why does the car just fly into the sky? I do think that the movie was pretty great and they didn't need that.

I disagree. I don't understand because you're in reality through the whole movie. That's what I'm saying. I don't know why they thought that was a perfect ending to this movie. And then the car will just fly away. I'm into it.

I'm like riding high on those sick songs and I wanna ride off into the sky. I was fine with it too. It was just more that when I was a child, it never crossed my mind of like, why is the car flying away? And as an adult, I truly was like, wait, why is the car flying away?

I mean, they did have those dream sequences of like Frankiei and stuff. So there was like elements there. I just had an epiphany. What if the car flying away means this is all Sandy's dream? That end sequence where she becomes the scary mean hot Sandy. Wait, is she scary?

Well, yeah, she's in her leather, she's smoking and- Sandy! Sandy! How good is that? So good. So what if the car's flying off? What if we're meant to assume that, yeah, this was all Sandy's dream?

You're right, I forgot about the Beauty School dropout and GoGrease lightning and all that stuff. I mean, so yeah, they had elements of it, but it just, the ending was so big, it's so over the top, it just felt like, well, do we need that? And then they did a Grease 2 with none of them in there. Yeah, but, oh man, she's great, Michelle Pfeiffer in that.

I only know- Is that good? I only remember one, I remember Cool Rider. Cool Rider. Let's do it for our country, the red, white and the blue. That's the only two songs I remember Cool Rider and let's do it for our country. The red, white and the blue. This is the only two songs I remember. You would have thought that as such a Greece fan, I would have been like, hello Greece too. But I was like, no thanks.

It wasn't great. But I didn't know that and nor would I have cared. Right. You know, when I was so into Star Wars and if people were telling me, oh, Return of the Jedi isn't good or any of that, I'd be like, I don't care. And you're not stopping me from going.

Maybe you were really into John Travolta and Olivia Newton John, and you didn't want any of the way. I was so into them. And did you want wanna be him? Yeah, you want both. Yes, I wanted every bit of both of them in whatever way I could have them.

I loved them so much. You wanted to be him or smooch him? Both. Both. I just, I didn't care. I was like, and then he comes out an urban cowboy. I mean, come on. Yeah, oh my God, yeah. I gotta say, if young Travolta forgot to RSVP to my pants,

I'd still let him in. Did you see Urban Cowboy? I did, yeah. You saw Urban Cowboy? Yeah. Is that the one where he's dressed in his wiener? What? In that jazzercise class, like with Jamie Lee Curse.

In Urban Cowboy? No. There is no jazzercise in Urban Cowboy. Then what movie is it? May, do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Whatever you're describing would not lure me to a movie theater.

Thrusted as Wiener. He's like, what is that? In the jazzercise class. No, this is just full on cowboy. It's with Debra Winger. Winger, more than Wanger. They're together in that. Yeah, but in real life too, I think they were together.

And John? I don't know. I think so. Oh, it was called Perfect. One of his big hits. I can't believe you've never seen that. Me? Ever? I haven't seen the movie, but I've seen the Wiener thrust.

Ye old Wiener thrust? That's good. A mystical search history is Wiener thrust. I don't think there's no one I'm talking about. I'm looking for different things on Google. Yeah. My family has a rich history of movie musicals and musicals. And I, my grandfather was in the stage thing of Rocky Horror Picture Show and My Fair Lady. So growing up, we would

listen to like the, um, the vinyl records of My Fair Lady a lot. Yeah. I think some of my favorite movies are movie musical. Why did I get suddenly so serious and never said a single funny thing and it sounded like I was doing a speech at school? Some of my favorite movies are. What I did this summer by May Martin. My family has a rich history. It just seemed very May Martin what you were sharing. Yeah. Would those be some of your favorites? It just seemed very May Martin, what you were sharing. Yeah. Would those be some of your favorites?

Not so much My Fair Lady, but like, I mean, the Wizard of Oz, first of all. Oh, sure. Holy shit. And that's good. That's a good one, May. Do you know what year the Wizard of Oz came out? 19?

39? Yes, Mae. Yes. Really? Wow. Doesn't that seem like a long time ago? Sunny. Sunny?

It does seem like a long time ago, but here's the craziest part. I was born in 1971, so let's round up to 40, 50, 60, 70. Like 32 years later, I'm born, do you understand? Yeah. I don't know how to feel about that. What are we saying about that?

So much has changed. I'm saying that's not too far away from 1939. But it's still far enough. You know, like 32 years ago, Yeah, that was the 90s. That was the 90s. That was the 90s. That's crazy. Sunny.

My other, yeah, Rocky Horror Picture Show, I could write like a PhD thesis on. I think it's so transgressive and hot and good and funny. And also, oh man, Tim Curry in that movie like changed my life. But then also Labyrinth, would you say, is that a movie musical? It's got that one. Remind me of the babe. He does sing that one time.

The babe with the power. What power? I'm looking at movie musicals right now. Sound of music, come on. Ah, that's a good one. You know how I feel about that. No, do go on. I'm on the hill, all alone, we go turd,

lay-oh-da-lay-oh-da-lay, hee-hoo. I am the heroes of the league of turd. Lay yodel lay yodel lay. Hee hoo. I always get sad about, you know, the movie of My Fair Lady and they had Aubrey Hepburn. Aubrey Plaza. Aubrey Plaza. And they had Julie Andrews do all the songs and dub the voice, cause she couldn't sing

and that would be a bummer, right? She worked so hard on her singing and then they just dubbed Julie Andrews going, just you wait, Henry again, just you wait. Really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Remember how scary that song is? She goes, when you yell, you're going to drown. I'll get dressed and go to town. Just you wait. I'm out. I'm looking through this list of movie musicals and there are many bangers.

I'm not sure. In here that I truly would have guessed 10. 10? No, there's like, this is the 30 best ones and there's many killer movies. I love, Jax hates movie musicals and musicals. Do you think Jax would be into Handsome the Musical? If we made a movie musical, oh my God, I'd love it. There were a lot of like, butch lesbians in it for sure.

Well, there will be. Good, then she would love it. Well, we could sing, how do you solve a problem like, May Martin. Like Maria. Diarrhea. She wouldn't like that part.

Like diarrhea. There'd be a lot of top hats. How do we solve a problem like diarrhea? We'd have a lot of this and a lot of top hats and then some, what do you call it? Sonny? Tap dancing. Sonny!

I would like to inexplicably have that cockney British accent just when I sing. Let's hear it. Okay. You know, the movie would be about us podcasting and then I'd be like, And then I'd be like, my internet went down and no one was around. But a little map up at 10.30. On the dot. That's what my contract says with the internet provider. 10.30. That's what my contract says with the internet provider. Why don't they break news? I celebrated Canada day yesterday.

Now this list of top movie musicals has cabaret as number one. Oh, I disagree. How do we feel about that? I don't think I like cabaret. Liza's a queen, but that's not as number one. Oh, I disagree. How do we feel about that? I don't think, I like Cabaret. Me too. Liza's a queen, but that's not my number one. Yeah, same. I don't even know if my number one is on here.

What's your number one? I love Moulin Rouge. Oh, that's great. And there's a song written to you. To me? Come what may. I mean, it's not written by the musical. Sunny.

Come what may. I mean, it's not written by the musical. Come what may. Sunny. I will love you till my dying day. Have your summer. At karaoke, Fortune, you and I could do the elephant love song medley. I know the whole elephant love song medley.

Me too, me too. All you need is love. The girl's got to eat. She'll end up on the street. All you love need medley. Me too. All you need is love. The girl's got to eat. She'll end up on the street. All you love need is love. Love is just a game. Love is just a game. I was meant for loving you baby.

You were meant for loving me. I mean, it's a great movie. It's a great movie. It's not on this list, but that one's a favorite. But as a kid, my favorite, besides Sound of Music, and I think I just have a Julie Andrews obsession, Mary Poppins. So good. I mean, I love the new Mary Poppins. I went to see it with my parents in London and me and my dad wept.

Who was that? Emily Blunt and Dick Van Dyke was in it. Did a whole song and dance and man, he was good. Yeah, I really like the new Matilda, the musical movie on Netflix. That's- I don't see it. I saw it on stage in London too.

It's like, yeah, it's really good. Really, really good. Is that like the same thing as that movie Matilda? Well, there was a movie Matilda that Danny DeVito directed way back when. And then this is a new one with like Emma Thompson. And it was, I'm drawing a blank on that. Tim Minchin wrote it.

Yeah, I saw the one with Danny DeVito and I thought that was so good. So good. Do animated movies count towards movie musicals? I think so. Anything counts. We don't have a boss here. Hello, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin. Yeah, oh my God, yeah.

I mean guys, how do we even pick? Why do you think they started to begin with? Like were people just like, it's more emotional if you sing it or like, it's kind of so adorable that human beings were like, let's sing it. We took Max and Finn to see the Lion King when they were probably, I don't know, two and a half, three and a half,

somewhere in the three, something like that. And I'm not the biggest movie goer, but Finn at that age, he wandered off. He was like, he needed to go on a walk. So Stephanie went on a walk with him. And I'm sitting there with Max. It's just the two of us. And it's when, is it Simba?

Is that the lion? Okay. And- One of. One of. Or is, yeah. His dad, I guess, gets in a fight. Oh, yeah, Mufasa.

Yeah. Gets in a fight. Mufasa, yeah. And falls off the cliff and dies. Yeah, he's murdered by his brother, Skyrie. Yeah, yeahufasa. Yeah, gets in a fight, Mufasa, yeah. And falls off the cliff and dies. Yeah, he's murdered by his brother, Scar. Yeah, he dies, it's sad. Okay, well, as this is happening, I'm like, oh no, he died.

And Max is sitting there and I'm realizing, oh no, he's wondering what's going on. And he turned to me and he said, Mayor, what happened to his dad? And I just said, just really casually to not make a big deal out of it, I was like, oh yeah, he kerplunked. Just to take the bite out of it?

Well, we hadn't ever talked about death. Oh my God. Yeah, I was like, oh yeah. And that's what I called it when they were little and they'd fall over. I'd say, oh, careful, you don't want to kerplunk or oh my gosh, you kerplunked pretty bad there, didn't you? And then so.

And I thought you meant die. That's really good. Well, no, he still didn't know what die meant when we were watching the line. Like he didn't know about that, about death. And so I just casually was like, oh yeah, he kerplunked. And then I was like, oh. Did he accept that?

He was like, oh, but you could tell he was like, this feels bigger than kerplunk. Why is it you're coming back? Yeah, yeah. And I just sat there going, no more questions. No more questions, please. Sometimes those Disney movies really threw in some stuff you were really ready for.

Yeah, sometimes people kerplunk, and animals kerplunk. Bambi, ugh, yeah, rough. Yeah, Bambi's mother kerplunked. Yeah. You guys remember Little Shop of Horrors? Yes, yeah, and Steve Martin's in that. But in Leif the Mole. Yes. You guys remember Little Shop of Horrors? Yes, yes. And Steve Martin's in that. But it leaves me more. Yes.

And Rick Moranis, the great Rick Moranis. Why aren't you in musicals, Fortune? For real, she's in Handsome, the musical. Right, of course I am. I'm trying to think. I don't think I've ever been in a musical. You got to be. If we should do like a Christmas pantomime, you know?

Okay. What does that mean? Don't Tia Sable for a pantomime Christmas and not deliver me. What is that going to be? This year? This year? Okay, you promised me this year This year, this year, pantomime Christmas. Okay, you promised me this year we're gonna have a pantomime Christmas. What in the hell are you talking about?

A pontomime. A pontomime. A pontomime. I of course do, but what are you talking about? Christmas pantomime? Yeah, I just thought it might be fun. We get, you know, we rent out a theater, a large theater.

Step one. And then we get a live band. We get a bunch of reindeer. And we do like a whole. Oh, this seems a lot. Yeah, no, I'm not gonna fall through. And then what? Put it on the list, Thomas.

Then what? Then we all start like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, and we all come out three little angels in our bonnets. And we sing. I do love Christmas music. Don't get me started on that. Oh my gosh.

Also another fave, Dreamgirls. Yeah, I haven't seen it actually. Somebody has juggled it up. I'll be a dreamgirl. Oh, I'll make you happy. I'll be a dreamgirl. Just saying is a great one too. I'm just saying this is a great one too.

I'm just saying. And I'm telling you I'm not going. You're the best thing I found love. Thomas just put in the chat, we should wrap up soon. Thomas, how dare you. I haven't sang in a while. I gave it a rest for a minute. So the three people on the internet

who don't like music or fun can lay off. Don't listen to the haters. We can't listen to that. We cannot let that influence us. If people don't like it, here's my feeling. If you were eavesdropping on a table of three friends talking, would you really lean over and give them notes?

Good point, Tig. And be like, hey, you know. This one's singing too much. Yeah, I liked when you guys were talking and this one wasn't singing. Or I liked when, you know what I mean? It's like, we are just putting out a free podcast and you take it or you leave it, okay?

There you go. Yeah, don't give people notes at the table next to you. We're the table next to you. You can't ask them to borrow some salt. Should we, wait, so do we know what Bob's answer is from his question? Oh yeah, we do we know what Bob's answer is from his question? Oh, yeah, we do have to hear Bob's answer. I for some reason feel like it's going to be Chicago. I have a weird suspicion of what you're talking about.

Let's hear it. I mean, obviously, the answer is, say it with me. One, two, three, Chicago. Chicago is one of the most brilliant of all times, however, it is a close between Chicago and Dreamgirls. It's hard to pick. I can't pick for me. Okay. Yeah, Chicago. Okay, Fortune, that's enough.

I know that was a remake of the original Dreamgirls, but Jennifer Hudson singing that song. Anything. Was like, holy cow. She played Effie and it was like pin drop. She's so good. Didn't she get nominated for an Oscar for that? I think she might have. Didn't she win?

She might have won, yeah. She might have won. Yeah, I think she won. That was incredible. That's, oh my God, it was incredible. Did I, I think I've told you this, that I went to see Cats, the musical on stage, and Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls

was singing that song. That's it. Memories. And oh, and she hit this high note and like people jumped to their feet and I was on a date and my date screamed. Like involuntarily was like, ah!

Because it was so good. I didn't know that the Cats musical could incite that kind of excitement. Yeah. Are you sure it wasn't because she had RSVP-ed to your pants? Yeah. It might have been. She had a ping in her ponties.

Hell. This date have been a mixture. She had a ping in her ponties. Hell. This date of yours. Well. Yes. And she was told she got her invite accepted into your pants. Denied. Anyway.

We were already trying to wrap it up and Fortune had to just drag it out a little circle. Guys, do you have anything coming up? First of all, we got a bunch of merch. Not just a bunch of merch, but maybe the best merch in town that I see out in the wild all the time. Yeah, all the time. It's so great.

And we have two new things. The Yeah Ghost T-shirt, which everyone's been asking us for. Ooh. You must wear this on Halloween. Please, please, please, please, please wear it on Halloween and please tag us online so that we can see your pictures and repost.

And we also have an awesome Keep It Handsome hoodie. When it's cold, you can be all comfy and cozy in our Keep It Handsome hoodie and it looks so good. Well, I'm going to be just living at Comedy Bar in Toronto, working out new material, popping into LA here and there to do Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. But man, I seriously, every now and then they'll put up a new date at Comedy Bar.

It's gonna be never ending through February, I'll tell you that much. So if you're sick of me, don't go to Comedy Bar because that is my new house. Okay? That's awesome. I just have one last show of my tour, November 16th in Santa Rosa, California.

My Live, Laugh, Love tour. I got nothing except, I'm gonna be at Largo in November and December and Dynasty Typewriter. So look at social needs, I'll be there. Social needs. Oh, and my new album, Hello Again, the audio version of my standup special, Hello Again, is out on secretly Canadian records.

And you can go to my website, tignotaro.com for that too. We appreciate everybody listening. You guys are the best. Yeah, we love you all. Yes, please take one second right now. Stop what you're doing, just stop what you're doing. I know you hear us say to subscribe and you don't. And you're like, I've been meaning to or I will stop and do that.

And then also go to YouTube and look how dorky fortune looks right now. I mean, this is truly, this is that you must. I'm a fat baby. You must go to YouTube. I'm a fat baby. And subscribe to YouTube

and also share your favorite episodes with friends and help build our community. And until next time. Keep it handsome. Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette.

Email us at handsomepod.gmail.com, and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast! Handsome's the audio version of my comedy special Hello Again is available everywhere just in time for the holidays.

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