Handsome - Brandi Carlile asks about Jesus

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

Handsome icon Brandi Carlile blesses Handsome with a question about a well known dude! Plus taxi makeouts, vajazzling "Tig," poots, foot massager fun and much more! Don't forget to get tickets to our May 4 Live Show in LA!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that I've got my handsome tuxedo ready to go before a big event. Big mistake. Now I'm walking the red carpet and a t-shirt and jeans. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

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I'm Fortune Beamster. I'm Mae Martin. And I am Tignotaro. Oh my God. That was the cleanest we've ever introed this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. I just went for it.

I took a risk. Oh, ready because we're in the same place. Our energy's electric. I could fill the energy. You stuck the landing. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you not ready? Was it too soon?

Whoa. I was ready. I was ready. Yeah. I'm so sweaty hands, sorry, because I drove here. That's all right. Wait. I did see my pull up in their car.

Yeah. Why are your hand sweaty because you drove here? I'm still nervous about driving. I hold tight. Two hands, ten and two. Yeah. Gripping. Like gripping.

Yeah. Ripping. I think so. Yeah. I think so. It wasn't a car wash, though. How was that? Did you mean to?

Yeah, I meant to. Okay. And it was, I loved the whole experience. Oh, yeah. How the guys kind of tell you, okay, move forward and you drive. I can't stand that. Oh, you hate that. I hate it.

Oh, really? I can imagine depends on the guy. I had a nice guy who we were joshing around a bit. But you had a humorless. No, I'm not looking for a funny. You're not looking for a friend? No, I'm not. I'm just trying to park the car.

Right. And if somebody gets behind me, And they're like, and I haven't asked them to. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, get out of here, you know? When they just like, I guess it feels like mansplaining or something to me. I'm like, I'm all good, buddy. Car spaining.

Yeah, car spleening. Don't need it. Yeah. Look at your bracelets. See, when we're together in the room, there's so much more stimuli. Oh, whoa. Oh, okay, fortune just tried to touch his bracelets. You know what I love about you?

What? When your voice makes that. Yeah. God. Yeah. Yeah, that's the sweet spot. Okay. Let me tell you about this. My childhood friend Eliza, she made this for me.

She makes bracelets. And she's Korean, so she's a little Korean something on here. Oh, is it like a... Oh, there it is. I don't know what it says. Okay. Can you read Korean? I cannot.

Okay. And then... I can, but I choose not to at the moment. You choose not to read Korean. And then this is from Sandro, who is the number two on Starfleet Academy. He's right under Holly Hunter. And he's the young kind of rebellious kid on the show that Holly's trying to, you know. Anyway, so he got these for all the cast after season one.

Ew. And my character on Star Trek, my name is on here, Reno. Oh, that's nice. I liked it. Yeah. maybe we need friendship bracelets. Are these friendship bracelets? Well, if you got one for everyone on the crew, yeah, that's a friendship bracelet.

It's a co-worker bracelet. Oh, wow. We need to get co-worker bracelets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, true. I think, are we, we not friends? We're more than friends. Yeah, I'm back. They're taking.

She's back. She's back. I think you were going to come around. Playing hard to get over there. I always come around. I swear to, God. Twig Come on!

Come on now! Come on! I'm happy I am. I know. Did you guys notice have makeup on? No. I don't have my glasses on.

I didn't notice that you have makeup on. Do you look hot? Except for Wednesday right here. Very hot. She looks hot. Thank you, Mae. Yeah, yeah. I'm not even going to put my glasses on.

Just tell me. I just have makeup on. I'm going to put my glasses. Put it on. Take it all in. I was filming today. It's really subtle, though. It's like, it's just bringing out your inner beauty.

Thank you. You, boy, y'all, y'all, y'all. My curls are tight. Your curls are tight. What are we talking about? It's not the only thing that's tight around here. You know what I mean? I don't.

I'm not going to. Something is tight? I'm not going to go any further. Okay. I'm wearing makeup too. Are you? Yeah, always. Clear mascara.

No, not today. Just the usual boy brow. Nikki Laser heard the thing about us. Riven on clear mascara and always laughs about us. She did. Talking about clear mascara. That's crazy. It's crazy that people hear this podcast.

Especially friends and family. I know. Where they're like, oh my gosh, I was listening, this and that. And I'm like, you listen to my show. I know. I went on a walk around the res with friend of the pod, Alison Brie. Oh, you did? I always just, I never quite believe that she listens to it.

It's almost like I want to test. her but she really does she really takes me occasionally with some reference to the pod she knows what's going on yeah she's the best she's so funny it was such a nice walk if only she were in good shape though if only she was prettier if only she was attractive and in good shape they're a good looking couple those two they're a great looking couple and really smart and writers and yeah I'm into it and they yeah they're collaborative yeah I uh yes Well, unrelated.

Okay, that's fine. Who cares? Okay, so, you know, I'm prepping to go on tour, and part of what I'm thinking about is, like, is magic real? And can I affect reality with my mind? This is part of the stand-up? Sort of the themes I'm thinking about. hilarious to me.

Yeah. Well, you know what? I don't know if you know this. This is true. Or magic is kind of moving in on comedy. Do you know this? In, like, popularity? and like close-up magic.

Well, like magicians. Yeah, magicians. Magicians. That whole world is becoming gigantic. Yeah, what does that signify? I wonder about where we're at. We just want to be astounded. But I'm more like spirituality or things that 200 years ago they would have said were magic, but now we know it's science.

Anyway, so I keep seeing those experiments with rice. I think I've talked about it. You put rice in two jars. And then you write, I love you. on one of the jars. You write, I hate you on the other jar. And every day you go to the one, I love you so much. And to the bad one, you're like, I hate you. You're awful. And is this what you are doing at your house? I've been in this every morning. And it's a really weird thing to do on by yourself. But, uh, or even with people, I would say. Yeah. And I've seen this online

tons of times where the, the one that says, I hate you, rots faster. Really? Yes. Guys, guess what happened? What? You ate it. You had a, A beef bowl. The one I say, I love you two. Said I love you back? It's rotting. So what is, is my love rotten? Or am I, did I smother it?

Is it rotten? Yeah, do you normally say rotten? Love rotten? I don't know why I said it like that. Well, your accent's all over the place. I don't think I would normally say rotten, but. I don't think you loves rotten. I think you got some bad rice.

I mean, it's significantly. No, but it was the same batch of rice. Wait. So the one you, the. Thank you for digging into this. The I love you rice is rotten. I hate you rice is... Perfectly pristine and white.

It's cooked. It's cooked white rice. Okay. And I'm not saying like one of... I mean, the one I say I love you to is black mold. And the other one perfectly pristine. This is weird. And what point do you toss it? Soon. I think it's time. But don't you...

Maybe that I break up with your rice. Maybe the I love you is hearing you say, I hate you, you're doing it too close to each other? That's possible. But then how come they hate you one's not? Because it's a narcissist and it only hears it you love it. Yeah. I don't know what the hell's going on because I've proved something but not what I was expecting

to prove. And I feel, yeah, worried about what my focus is doing to that race. Is it what part of it is the hypothesis? I remember that word. The hypothesis is that your intention can affect reality. and I've read all about this rice experiment And this is before you do the experiment You have a hypothesis

And then you try to prove the hypothesis Right or wrong And yeah like you know how if you're kind To plants they flourish Yeah So it's that kind of And that's scientifically proven Yeah

If you sing to them you talk to I flourish in kindness as well Don't we all? Do we? Do we? Does everyone flourish in kindness? Yeah People flourish and kindness Some people like to be Armascists

Yeah Some aren't really into that Yeah, but like you know how they say that girls like a bad boy? Right. Oh, no. Like they don't flourish in kindness. Have you ever liked a bad boy? Me?

Yeah. Me? Little me. Yeah, fortune. Imagine in front of you there's nice boy and bad boy. They're both handsome. I don't like, I don't like boys. So I guess for fun I'd go with the bad boy.

Why not spice it up? That sounds fun. Like that guy in that show you watch. knows how to put it down. That's right. Tell me lies. Tell me lies. He's a bad boy. I I think I had a little bit of a thing for some bad girls. Bad girls. Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah, we all like bad girls. Oh, I don't want that. I don't want a bad girl. No, no, no, no. Me neither. What do we mean by bad? Like, just people that, um, chaos inducing. Yes. Right. Yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah. I like a bit of it in a safe container. Uh-huh. With rice.

with rice. Yeah, you like a sprinkle of it. I don't like a sprinkle of like unpredictable. Wait, have you made out anymore with the person you made out in the car with? With that person I have not. Did I know about this? No, yes, you did. Remember I was let down because I thought it was going to be a salacious. Oh, that's right, that's right.

But you guys thought I was let down and done? I did have an experience where I kissed someone in my car and I was parked. You love this car now? I love this car. You need to go to a drive-in movie. Yes. I love a driving movie. Can we be in the back, giggling?

All I want is you guys in my car. Yeah, that would be great. But so I was parked and my foot was on the break. But then I, we kiss and I guess I should have had a neutral. Need have to park. Or park, yeah. So then my foot came off the break and my- Because neutral, you will just roll.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. So it was a jump scare for sure. My foot came off the break and then the car went, almost into the car in front of me. Oh, my God. Oh, I wish that was the story.

That would have been funny. I know. Did you still get the kiss? Got the kiss. Okay. Can I tell you a fun makeout stories? Yes. Yes.

Girl. Settle in. And let me tell you what was so fun. Okay. So there was this girl, you know, we had this thing going for months. And, but at the very beginning of it, I told her, I was like, you know what I've always wanted to do is just get a taxi and just drive around town and make out. Love this. And she was like, let's do it.

I love this. So we hail a cab and we are mac and down. Oh, my God. That's a risk. You don't know. But not a show for the job because they do watch. I don't care. I'm just telling you, they do, they are watching in the room.

Well, how do you know? Because Fortune makes out like that. I've made out some taxis. What if Fortune used to be a cab driver. They do watch. Let me tell you. Trust me. They watch.

And they love it. Okay. No, I just thought it was one of the, you know, when you first are meeting and dating or hooking up with somebody, it's like, let's do. Okay. So get a. cab. We're driving around Los Angeles. And that's what I told the guy. I was like, just anywhere. And it was like, okay. Cool. You want to just drive where, drive us around? Yeah, just

drive us around. Okay. So then we pull up and, um, uh, to his mother's house. Yeah. Um, we pull up to some store she wanted to go in and get something. She's an actress. Okay. Okay. When she gets out of the car, he goes, can I ask? you something and I said sure and he said who is he said that woman looks very familiar who is she and I said I have no idea after we have been driving around that's the end of the story I think I know who it is you do uh-huh I don't say it but you can say it but bleep it out yeah I knew it how did you know smart I don't know who that is even you know I knew that but I knew that but I

that you all had dated or whatever you call it. So funny to have the awkward just you and the taxi driver in the car though as well like after she gets out and you've just been fully. But also you don't, yeah, you don't want

them being like, I recognize any either. You know what I mean? You're like, that's where you want to be anonymous. Well, that's why it was fun to just be like, yeah, I don't know who she is. Was the beer running?

Like, how much was this bill at the end of the end of the end of the Here's another fun thing. Yeah. This is a, yeah. This is a really fun thing that I could see you enjoy. I asked this girl out who we had already been seeing each other, but on a particular date.

Okay. To a hotel room only during the day to order room service and watch a movie. Oh, that's pretty great. Yeah. Yeah. And so did you have to pay for the night or you found like a, yeah. And you said, we'll just go there for the day and hang out. Let's just go get a hotel room, watch a movie, and order food room service.

Okay, I'm doing that. It was so fun. That's fun. It was so fun. I've had the room for the, just the, I've ridded it for the night, but we just used it during the day and used the spot, like the steam room. Yeah. And that stuff. And then used it for the room for other things.

For what was that? Other things. Such as. And then left. Uh-huh. Didn't stay the night. Have you ever in a hotel room? Yeah.

I realized this a couple of nights ago when I was in Chicago. I see these all the time in the hotel room. Never used one. Yeah. Have you ever used a shower cap? I sure have not. Well, now I know something I really want to see, which is all of us in shower caps. Like our bonnets.

Like little bonnets. I forgot about our bonnets. Oh, someone gave us those in Toronto. I don't think I've used one except when you're getting your hair dyed. sometimes they put like a plastic bag of your right but like to get into the shower who the hell like they are in every hotel room yeah there must be enough people that don't want to get their hair wet that this is still in demand well i'm going to start asking around because yeah yeah do let's ask our listeners do any of you wear shower caps yeah please let us know in our social media comments this is the last hotel thing i'll say okay give it to us do you notice that hair dryers are mysteriously hard to find. It's like, where is it? Is it in the drawer?

Is it in the... This better be your new hour. It's called, where is it? All observational coming about hotel room. Where is it? Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that I've got some paint and a canvas

when I'm headed to the wilderness, major regret. I'm overdue for another animal. painting, but without art supplies, I just can't express myself. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Who's planning a trip to Provincetown this year? I went for the first time last year and I loved it so much. You have got to check it out. Province Town is a beautiful mosaic of cultures where everyone is welcome.

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It's always under the sink. No. Sometimes it's in a little bag hanging on the door. I do like it when hotels have switched from ironing boards and irons to the little hand steamers. Not me. You prefer the iron. You like an iron.

I like a steamer. Wait, what are you? You're a steamer too. Yeah, yeah. And you know Ricky Linholm? Yeah. She has a really funny bit that I'm like, God, I wish I thought. I mean, it's so funny.

Just that like how long have ironing boards been around? Yeah. And they can't fix it to where it doesn't go. Yeah. Like when you open it. I mean, truly, how is that the case? Well, the steamers do get dangerous. I, you know, sometimes I have dumb,

moments not thinking and I have not our fortune don't talk about my friend like I have been like oh I missed a spot and did the steamer and it just burnt your cooter my cooter why are you always drying your crotch

yeah why are you steaming your cooters? I don't know I like steamy crotch there was like a wet spot not not what you don't get your head out of the gutter and then I tried to steam it out and just burnt my cooter Krispy fried cooter

So those things do get very hot But I do prefer them to that It's ironed it's a whole thing Have you ever ironed your cooter? No Give it a whirl That sounds painful I feel like Vajasel used to be the butt

Of every joke and stand up And that was the thing People were putting like gems on there And maybe like to iron them on You know like Swarovsky crystals Yeah No But it kind of went away

You know what I'm talking about Right girl Girl I don't Girl I'm just like a little crystal Like your name or something TIG People put that on their crotch Yeah

That was a thing at one point I don't know if it's still a thing now Wouldn't if I don't have Tigg TIG's name down there though It's small On TIG or on us I guess I think you should be a TIG I wonder if I understand what's happening right now

It's like you glue gems to your pubic area Yeah like it's decorated hair there. You like rip the hair out? Have you seen one in the purse? Have you seen one in a person of you? No, never. Let's not get crazy here.

I'm talking about, um, Vajal. Yeah, the Vajazzle. Yeah, it just used to be. Never heard of this. Are we giggling? No, no, I don't want to see it. Oh, shit.

I wasn't showing you a picture of my. I'm here, Vajazzle's. Just here, let me get out my PowerPoint presentation. You need to iron that thing. How can they have shower caps in every room and then not toothpaste in every room? I hate having to call down. They never have toothpaste. And they hate that you're not bringing your own toothpaste.

That would be expensive for them to supply that. Yeah, that's true. But sometimes they'll supply those tiny, tiny off brand where it just says mint paste. Yeah, mint paste. Yeah. Yeah. All the cue tips you could want. I love a cue tip.

I know you're not supposed to, but. I love them too. Do you? I want to buy that thing on Amazon that pushes the water in your ear. Don't do it. You want water pushed into your ear? I don't think that's bad, is it?

I've been the victim of, I have all these gadgets. Like, I have bought every gadget. We know your Amazon wish list is. I'm not going to use Amazon anywhere. I'm turning a corner. I'm like, this is one thing I can do is boycott. Boycott Amazon as much as possible. Okay.

I am boycotting Amazon. Unless I'm a big bear and I eat a synthesizer. No, I just a little bit of boycotting hot dogs. And Target and those. I'm trying. I'm trying. But, well, do we have, is now the time, Thomas, should I? Oh, wait.

What? What's happening? So we're talking about gadgets. You're talking about this ear thing. You're pregnant. I am with child. No, so I don't know if you noticed like a different piece of furniture in here that might, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, this round. footstool. Okay. Yeah, but it's not actually a footstool, guys. What is it? It's one of my new gadgets. This is a gadget. Y'all, we didn't know anything about this. Thomas, is this the time? Oh, my God. That is hilarious. Of course we want. It's like an alien. May's ass is on camera. But is it also a part-time stool? Part-time stool, full-time massage or whatever you want? Tiggs kicking off her shoes. Do I have to take my socks off? On to me.

I think usually your socks on for hygiene purposes. You think I'm not clean? No, I'm sure you are. It's pretty intense. I want to see what everyone... Ow. Really? Are you serious?

Yes. I have it on the strongest. I'll put it down. Oh, wait, no, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, wait. Oh, are you wanting this torture? You all made a fix it?

Have you tried this, Thomas? I don't like. It's hell. You don't like that. Oh my God. This is hell. This is hell. Oh, my God.

Have you done this? I'm loving it. Wait, is it on the highest thing? No, it's on the lowest now. I don't know. I'm asking. I think maybe it's a little. Now it's vibrating.

It'll go through a cycle of different thing. So it's like a, this is hell. It's pretty intense, right? Well, yeah, it was just screaming. Rolls, heats up. That's the lowest. Feels like a rodent is nibbling on my toes. How did you land on this?

You were scrolling through your Amazon? May, look me in the eye. Where did it come? No, it actually is called Chillchair. It's a private company. It was advertised to me. And I said, yeah. Okay.

Always trying to relax. Advertised to you. And you love this. Oh, on social media. Yeah. And you love this? I'm well I'm kind of on the fence I can't decide if it's good or bad for me

but it does heat up it's it's warm okay so funny and I just wanted to give you guys a glimpse into what my evenings are like like my evenings are I got that on I got sometimes like a vibrating face wow you like a vibration and yeah invisible mascara invisible mascara and then I have like an ab workout machine no I've got this mask on like shakes your ass vibrating your entire body No, I'm going like this, doing crunches.

So I'm watching TV and I'm like, what is your goal? What are we, what is this all? To maximize my time. Your time of rest needs to live all vibrations. Yeah. I'll take whatever help I can get. Is it starting to become comfortable?

It's not. You're very tense. You're very, your whole body is. Yeah, release. Oh, I can see you kind of jiggling. My feet are relaxed right now. If you had titties, this would be real fun. No, I have done.

Humster titties, and we all know this. I'd really enjoy this vibration if you had some tiggo bitties. Fortune, are you keen to get in there? Why not? Well, it's settled down now. No, no, no, put your little hooves back on. Now take doesn't want to share. Well, because now it's settled down and it just feels good.

Now you like it. Yeah. I need to get an app machine. Well, now I'm just here with one shoe on and one shoe off. I'm not sponsored by this machine. But my shoe looks like you have it on, doesn't it? Yeah, it sure does. Yeah.

Well, I guess I'll just sit here like this with one shoe on, one shoe off. Bye by me. Do you, Jenks, you both said fine by me at the same time. Yeltsman. Yeltsman. I still do that. Near daily. So I was looking into the lyrics of that song to see if I could memorize them, and it's actually kind of problematic.

It is. And then it's all about like how he wants to date Asian women. Oh, really? Well, there's all these weird things in it. And I was saying that to my friend. I was like, can you believe that innocent song, actually, if you slow it down? And she's like, well, the band's called Bare Naked Ladies. Like, what do you expect?

And I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess. That's a good point. Yeah. They just seem fun. They just seem fun because they sing, if I had a million dollars. It's men. Okay.

This is what I'm talking. Oh, it's back to the abusive side. I got it. Stop. Stop. Okay, okay, okay. Stop. All right.

Oh boy. Allison Janney broke my ribs. May Martin Brooke. All right. I'm taking my shoes off. I'm getting ready for whatever this ride is. Is it going to fit my big feet? Yeah.

Of course. One size fits all. Because what size are you? Big. Like what? Yeah, I got pretty big feet. Big, medium and large. I'm seven men's.

Oh, I'm nine and a half men's. Whoa. That's right, Mae. Okay. I'm just a pretty red. Oh. Oh. Is it hurting?

It's tight. Oh. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. Ow! No, no.

I want to go through the pain. I want to go through the cycle. Girl. We need to have a slumber party. Girl. Oh my gosh. It just smashes them the front part quite a lot in the beginning.

Do you remember when I yelled, this is hell? Uh-huh. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. Okay. And I don't have size 10 men's feet.

But now it's calming down. Told you. There's some comfort here. Like would you ever have this on set or something in your... In my space suit? In your space suit, yeah. I think you... That looks pretty spacey, actually.

Maybe you have to... Why am I jiggling more than you were jiggling? You got titties. Isn't that the best word? Tits and titties. I love it. And cooter. Milkers.

Because there's, there's moments of this that are... very relaxing. And then it'll surprise you with the sharp pain. And then it'll be, it's like a bad relationship. Yeah. That's what I was talking about with the bad boys. Like you stay in it. This should be called the bad boy. The bad boy.

Because he's real nice to and takes you out on a day and then he doesn't come home one night. And you're like, when it's good, it's good. It's right. It sounded like a pooted. Pooted? You know, like, well, you know, well, you know. I've never heard pooted.

You've never heard pooted? No, I've heard toot it. Well, it's a poop because it's. It's that like, that sound. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sound. I think that you're the only person alive that has made that sound.

That's a poot. That's like at the end of the day. That's a poot. I've probably said this, but I dated this woman who would, in the morning, I always noticed that she was like lying on me. And then her hands would kind of go behind her. And then sometimes I'd hear like, and then I'd hear like, and then I'd hear.

And then I realized, was she taking her butt cheeks apart? She was in the morning. What are we? Every morning. Talking about. She didn't want to make a fart sound or wake me up. But she wanted you to talk about it on a podcast in a few years? She was sneakily just pulling her own butt cheeks or her part.

That's a poop. Yeah. That's a poop. That's a poop. I'd never even thought of that message. I can't believe she was laying on you and spread her butt. But cheeks. I love the fortune new right away.

You know. Well, how else would you reach your hands back there? But what I said to her was like, I reached my hands. I told you. That's the bad boy. The bad boy's home. He's yelling at me right now.

I told her I would be kind of more into it if she'd just do the fart and get the comedy sound. Oh, you all talked about it. Yeah, we talked about it. Did you say pardon me, but did you just spread your cheeks? Did you really? She was mortified. I don't know if I had the courage to bring that up.

That is a courageous thing you did, May. Really? No. I don't know if courage is the word I would use. I said I'd be more into it if you were confident enough to just. And so that's what started happening. And after I said that then every morning. Oh, she let it rip.

I would feel her body tense and I'd start laughing right away. That was the start of the day whistle is what she was doing. And she always woke up on top of you? She would lie always sleep the whole night on my chest like that. The whole night? I know why. It was actually the best sleeps ever. Really? I would get hot.

But isn't that weird that I was kind of turned on by the fact that she was confident enough to just fart on me? I don't have a fart fetish. You have, sounds like you do. I don't. I don't. I have news. You do.

You don't not have one. How about that? I have a fetish for people who are confident enough to use a fart as a punchline. Well, I told you. Well, I told you. You must. You know I like. like you a lot.

I told you about my friend's mother who would make eye contact. Oh yeah. Iconic. And she would just be like, are you going to stay for dinner? Excuse me. Oh my God. I don't want that. But she wasn't doing it as a joke.

She just couldn't control. No, she was like a drill sergeant slash running or what is it? Like a linebacker? Yeah. You know? I think I want this. Off my feet. You want this to stop now.

But I liked it. Thanks. Yeah. appreciate this experience. I feel like I'm on Shark Tank. Thomas, help me. Now you want to try it? And then we should get to our question.

Oh, yeah, we have to. As much as I would love to talk about tooting. Thomas, help. Oh, my gosh. Was this on the list at any point? No, but we can mark it off. When is our slumber party? Oh, my God.

Say the word. Doesn't it feel like we're at one now? I mean, wait, are you doing that with your legs or is it doing that? No, it's doing that for me. Oh, my gosh. Does it not hurt? It's doing the squeezing thing. And now we're all just shoelows.

Oh, but you're a tough guy, I guess. This feels like a slum party. Maybe you guys were at the wrong angle. Don't blame this on us. All right, we're going to get to our question. You continue doing what you want, and TIG's going to tell us who our question ask her is. It's too distracting.

I'm too. I can't. do this, but it's good. Okay. This is very exciting because this, our question asked you today, just saying America the Beautiful at the Super Bowl, not too long ago. Kid Rock?

Can you imagine if we had him on Baa Bama banga dang dang dang. Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. We used Squarespace to design our own website and you can do the same. It's easy. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform that can help you stand out and succeed online with a beautiful, functional site. We had an amazing site up and running in just minutes, but Squarespace also gives you tools to add all sorts of offerings, from scheduling appointments, to email marketing, to stunning video libraries and content monetization.

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Today's question asker is a highly celebrated singer, songwriter, producer, and activist who has won 11 Grammy Awards and two Emmy Awards. She co-wrote and performed the original song, Salt, Then Sour, Then Sweet for the Oscar-nominated documentary. Come See Me in the Good Light. Heard of it? Huh? Heard of it? That's right. Randy Carlisle is asking today's question. Nice.

Hey, handsome pod. It's Brandy Carlisle. Hi, Brandy. So I have a question for you because I've been hearing a lot about this lately and I've been really wondering how this lands on queer people. How do you feel when you hear the word Jesus? What does it make you feel like when you hear that name? Do you feel like triggered or curious, inspired, inspired, concerned, concerned? distrustful. How does the word Jesus make you feel in these times that we're living through? Look at Brandy all dressed up. Do you think this was right after the Super Bowl?

No. I don't know. She's like, I must go fill my handsome question. She looks very handsome. She looks very handsome. Brandy knows how to rock a suit. Brandy knows how to rock it. Brandy does rock it indeed. She's super talented. I feel like I've had a different, as like Canadian, very atheist family, like, I've had a different experience than growing up in a smaller town in America. It must have more weight for you, but I feel lucky that I like Jesus. And I was taught about religion, like that they were all different sides of the same coin with really nice stories. And I got really into Jesus as a guy. but so it doesn't have that I don't feel triggered like because it hasn't been used against me directly

or I haven't had to like debate it with people like I've just sort of avoided all that do you guys have more weight well because do you guys does Canada have the like born again well the heart yet like the religious friction that we have yeah but not to the same degree I think yeah like our yeah I think yeah less So there's definitely a religious. Six of it. Yes. You know what I was going to say?

This is so, such a minor little moment in her question. But it's something that I hadn't put my finger on until this moment hearing her say it. When she said the times that we're living through feels very different than the times we're living in. Oh, you're right. Yeah. And I just wonder if that was a conscious choice. Because I hear people say these times we're living through. And it's just, I was like, wow, that's so, like, I hear people say that.

And yeah, it feels very, because times that you're living in feels more positive. And that's what I thought. I almost felt the opposite. Like living through is like, we're going to get out of this. That's what I kind of would assume too. Yeah, whereas living in is like, this isn't permanent. in it. Interesting.

Because, yeah. I changed my mind just then when you suggested that. Right, if you go through something, you're getting to do the other side of it. Yeah. But I know what you mean that it sounds almost like endure. Yeah. These times we're enduring. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, I know that wasn't the main point of it, but it was still an interesting like, oh, yeah. Got me thinking. I was raised Catholic, but I was not raised in a house where God and Jesus, Jesus were really mentioned. We went to college. Didn't do that either.

Went to church until, like through elementary school. And then it was kind of like the jig is up. Nobody, my brother and I were like, we're not into this. And yeah, there wasn't like a Bible in our house, I don't think. And I never saw one. I think it, depending on how you, learn about him. Like he, Jesus as a figure is so rebellious. He was so critical of religious leaders who were hypocritical. Like, he, like, everything about him is great, supportive women,

like, you know, friends with sex workers and stuff. Like, he was such a badass. So I'm, I'm lucky I was taught about him as a figure in the same way I, you'd learn, like, stories about Sadartha or something. You were learned about him as a chill guy. Yeah. But a lot of people take it, you know, to that more, you know, Helen Brimstone type of situation with like punishment of not living on the righteous path, you know. Yeah, that feels like a more recent shift. Yeah, that I'm learning about or meeting people or realizing I know people that have now flipped over into that world where I. It doesn't feel like a part of my upbringing.

It's just like the irony of Jesus being used as this means of like discrimination and control and, you know, when that's not what he stood for at all. But religion has been used to start wars from, of course, forever. I know. Because, yeah, it is a form of control. Yeah. I mean, I think it depends on people's relationship with the church or Jesus as to how they feel. about their interpretation yeah so like you know if you were to meet someone who came from like say like a Mormon background or whatever like and they're say they're gay like you know they're not welcomed in

that church anymore and they you know could potentially and I'm just using that as a broad example but you know not accepted by family members anymore then your relationship to Jesus might be a negative one because totally and suddenly you feel like you're not accepted anymore I mean, being from the South, like, in the small town that I grew up in, you know, there's a church everywhere. It's such a part of the culture, such a part of, like, the social aspect of the South. Like, you, like, go to church functions, people at church check on you. Like, there's really great things about it where it's, like, a fabric of society there where it's, I can see, like, many. community.

Yeah, many positive things like that. My mom still is very much involved in the United Methodist Church. So in that regard, I am always, I'm like, I will even say to them, mom, are you going to church? Like, because it's such a positive thing for her. And I'll go with her, you know, a couple times a year. But as I got older, I mean, as someone who grew up going to church every Sunday, as I got older, I decided that wasn't for me anymore. Yeah. But I've kept my relationship to be still open to the concept of Jesus and God.

And I have not shunned that. I still see value in that and like a belief system and a morality type of way. I think I treat it in the like treat others as you want to be treated. The basics of it. The like, you know, try to be a good person. those things. It seems so universal that we try to answer these questions and are reaching for something and then we've yeah these are meant to be like moral signposts that help us navigate things instead of like literal doctrine you know yeah and doctrine and definitely yeah not like

organized to benefit I mean in given in light of everything I'm I'm really feeling like well that's not even but I feel insane these days. Well, when it's used as a weapon to be like, you're okay and you're not. That's where it becomes an issue where because then it's being used as like, well, we have decided we're okay, but you're not. Well, who decided that and why? Right. I just am like, where do we go from here?

We've always kind of known like the people who are most outspokenly anti-gay and fire and brimstone. You read the headlines then they're arrested six months. later for sex crimes, right? Like that's... Not everyone, but that does happen quite a bit, yeah. Yeah, and then now it's like, like I just watched this amazing movie about sex work and stuff and I was thinking after like we've been the, the, for centuries it's like this is perversion and things.

And then now we're seeing like the true perversion at the top. Like the, I mean, it's like too much to fathom. So it's like now that we, the hypocrisy is like, like, laid out. Where do we go from here? What's going to happen? Is anything going to happen? Is anyone going to get arrested? Are you talking about the Epstein files? Yeah. It's all I think about. It's all I talk about. Like, we can't even, because it's just too fucking insane. Yeah, we have to save that for our Epstein file episode. I remember when I was living in Austin, I mean, It was so long ago, like 35 years ago.

Like so long ago. You were barely alive. It's insane. But my friend and I live next door to this very Christian family. And they worked at the church. They had three kids. And we became really close with them. And they were, I would say,

the first, I was, I was in my early 20s, but they were, aside from my family members that are religious and different people here, there, these were Christians that led with Christianity. Yeah, like I leave. Jesus's actual teachings of like. Yeah, and they talk about it. And they, it wasn't just like something they did quietly. Yeah, okay. But I loved them.

Yeah. So much. And they knew that we were gay and their kids would come over like two years old to like seven years old and just like knock on our door and want to come hang out in our kitchen while we were home just relaxing and whatever. And I just, I never got any weird vibe from them. Not even other than. I just never got any weird vibe. And I was. I was just, I just loved them. And I loved what they represented. And I was good with them talking about Jesus. Yeah. Because there was just nothing seemingly off. And then, no, there's no.

Okay, okay. I was just thinking, I also, my first girlfriend's parents, maybe I don't know if I've shared this with you, but I'm very close with them. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you went to see the Pope and then. Yeah, and I brought a rosary home for them. And they're like parents to me in a way.

Yeah. And they're Catholic, and they very much lead with that. But unbelievable examples of loving, open. They have different views. But, I mean, Stephanie and I, they live in small town, Ohio, Farmville, and we will go in the summertime. And I'll bring my wife and children out and stay with them, in their house and their little home.

I love them so, so deeply. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I'm definitely not saying all Christian people are. Oh, no, absolutely. No, I didn't take it that way at all. I'm just saying like those. In your experience. In my experience, the people that like really are leading with it and talking about it.

And it's not like all the time talking about it, but it's, it's kind of like me being vegan. Like, yeah, you're going to know, I'm vegan. Right. But I just really appreciate their relationship with God or Jesus and their church. And they're actually out in the world doing good. That's great. And really hands on in the community. And I, yeah.

They're not a monolith. Yeah, like religious people. It's just, yeah. I think when I hear Jesus. my point is like I'm open. Yeah. Who's behind that? Yeah, I'm not true.

I'm a big Jesus fan. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not triggered by that at all. I think it also boils down to how you treat each other as far as like, I know so many religious people and I have great respect for, you know, people that I've met where religion is their entire life. If they're accepting of me and they're kind to me, I don't. I give them that same respect and return of like, great.

You know, it's amazing that you have these beliefs and you're this, that's a big part of your life. It doesn't bother me at all. It's when someone's like, you're going to hell. And I'm like, based on what? It's a weird barrier to intimacy, even if they're like, hey, I love you, you know, I have deep empathy for you. Hope God saves your soul. You know, I believe you're going to hell. But like, then that's hard.

How do you pretty good, it's like, that's where they need to keep that to themselves. It's like, if you think I'm going to hell, just pipe down and let's have a nice dinner. Yeah. I mean, like we were talking about the, about magic and intention and stuff. And I definitely think prayer could be powerful.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm loving it. Like Meg Stalter is Christian and is being outspoken. I think she organized a prayer group of people to, like I'm into that kind of thing where it's actually living Jesus's teaching. Yeah. And I mean, when I go into, you know, I'd poke fun with my mom when I go to church like on Christmas Eve with her. I'm like, oh, I hope I'm, you know, allowed in here or whatever. It's, I've always been welcomed in this particular church.

And, you know, there's something really beautiful about these, some of these old churches when I'm in Europe. I love walking into these churches. You can fill this, you know, energy. this it's very hopeful I think that's what I look towards the positive part of the religion and believing in a god or Jesus or whoever is is feeling hopeful I like I'm talking to someone be it whatever your beliefs the universe God of like

you know asking for help or yeah yeah you know looking over for people like when people are like I'm praying for your mom that means something to me you know it's my crazy like oh sorry no The way she's said it, like in these times we're living through, it's like it, America specifically, it seems like, it's just been manipulated for nefarious purposes. So you do have, like, quite like we're lucky. We don't encounter the hate every day in our lives and stuff. But it is like an increasingly super powerful. Yeah, it's out there.

It's really scary. I definitely don't like when it gets intermingled with, like, government, you know. I don't. I do very much. firmly believe in the separation of church and state. Yeah, totally. I don't like when those two co-mingle. Yeah, I was going to say when I go to Mississippi and my family, they're all churchgoers, but their vibe is, you know, like I, Stephanie and I got married in Mississippi in the small town at my cousin's house. And their whole vibe down there is like, all right.

We're going to get up. We're going to go to church. And then after that, let's go out to the yacht club. And then, you know, and it's just like a get up, go run five miles, go to church, do this and that. And then, you know, ask God for a beautiful day. And that's kind of just the vibe I feel like that I grew up in. That's nice. That doesn't feel.

And even my other cousin, he was a part of the Catholic Church. and he officiated our wedding and he got kicked out of the church knowing he likely would, but he said it was worth it because he said that they got it wrong. Yeah. You know. It really did. So anyway. Well, I'd be curious to hear Brandy's answer.

I know she has a background with church. She's talked about it in her book. What's here it? I'm curious because when I wrote my book, I wrote a lot about being raised, you know, within the faith and religious and coming up in church and all of the problems that I had being out of the closet and issues with hell trauma and acceptance. And then I also wrote about the parts of the faith that really still work for me and about the way I personally feel about Jesus.

And I was totally overwhelmed by the amount of LGBTQ people that came to me and said they want to talk about this more and that there are still parts of this of the Christian faith and their childhood religion that are with them whether they like it or not in good ways and in horrible ways. And I think it's a really interesting conversation to have, especially at this point in life where, you know, we're safe and we aren't subject to the church anymore in the way that maybe we were when we were young, but that there are parts of the teachings of Jesus that I think still live in so many queer people

in such a complicated way that I'm fascinated by the conversation, and thank you for your answers. Thank you. I think it just comes down to wanting to be accepted, right? I mean, just wanting to feel like you're welcome and safe. It shouldn't have been safe, yeah. I'm wanting to be safe.

Because that's the thing, it's like, with all those abortion bans and stuff, it's like, are we safe? I don't know. So, I don't know. We've got to be vigilant about that. About everything. You're saying the separation of church and state is so crucial. The line is getting more and more blood.

Yeah. For sure. I feel like I want to sit and have a glass of wine. I'm very curious. Yeah, I'm curious how Brandy and her wife, you know, they have their little family unit. Yeah. And they've got their kids. Yeah. And what what part does religion play within the dynamic of their family? Yeah. Well, I guess we'll never know. We'll never know. So we'll never know. You know Jesus had siblings. I didn't know that. But imagine that's for another

past. Siblings? In the meantime, what a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast we went from. Gosh darn podcast. We got massages. May that's right. Subjected you to this. Separated their cheeks. Yeah. We're on tour. Go see us. On tour. Yeah. Go see us on tour. Tignotaro.com. I leave in two days, I guess. Yes. Go check out May on this bus store.

You need to pack. Yeah, I got a pack. I'll see in San Diego soon. Also, if you haven't seen come see me in the good light. You should watch it. Apple TV. If you don't have Apple, you can get a free subscription, sign up for a month, watch the movie, and then do whatever you want to do after that. Also, Starfleet Academy with Holly Hunter and Paul Giamatti. And May 4th, we will be at the Wiltern, the three of us live here in Los Angeles, with our guests, Brittany Snow and Malin Ackerman.

And really, get your tickets now. It's going to be a good one. Also, I will be performing as part of the stand-up for equality show March 4th in Los Angeles with Mateo Lane, Margaret Cho. It's going to be a really, really fun show. All right. Well, until next time, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feemster, Tignitaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wulet.

Email us at HandsomePod at Gmail. and follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking who serves the best latte in town when I'm traveling.

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