Handsome - Brett Goldstein asks about recurring dreams

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

You know and love Brett Goldstein from his role as Roy Kent on "Ted Lasso." Now, the handsome, Emmy-winning actor has a dreamy question for Handsome! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Feimster Follow us on social media: @handsomepod Merch: handsomepod.com Watch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepod Email the show: [e-mail] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to another episode of the handsome pod. It's fortune famester and I'm joined by the may Martin. Oh, no, Taro. I fucked it. Oh no you didn't i like that we and we consistently like we don't decide who's gonna what order we're gonna do it's really it's a big adrenaline jolt right at the start for me yeah we just kind of jump in and it's like live guys it's like one of those improv workshop warm-ups where like you're trying to count to 10 without speaking at the same time as anyone. You know what I mean? I've never done improv. Zip, zap, zap. Oh, yeah.

Right, right. You never did improv? No. I just did a guest spot on an improv show at the Groundlings last week. It was my first time there in like two years. Was it fun? It is fun. It's just a whole different thing.

Like you have to like let yourself be silly. Yeah, I love it. And not judge. Where would you rank stand-up, improv, sketch, acting, writing, all that kind of stuff in your careers? In terms of like enjoyment? Yeah, what are you drawn to most, Mae? Oh man, that's really hard. I kind of rediscovered stand up. Sorry, improv after

Feel Good came out because I felt like then people were coming to see me and they wanted like really dark personal stand up. And I just wanted to be dumb and silly. And I loved just like playing with my friends and doing dumb voices and playing like an old lady or like Debbie yeah Debbie yeah so I've fallen back in love with it so at the moment I'm like I don't know man but then I'm never gonna stop doing stand-up it's the it's the best yeah so that's my answer is I don't know you've been doing a lot of shows in LA they're just improv right a lot of the ones you've been doing lately i do a lot of improvised stand-up with a bucket of questions from the audience

and i really love i really love doing that yeah the shows you do with um stephanie are those stand-up or improv or above or both no those are just improv me stephanie and alana and man those two are so funny uh and we have such different energies it is super fun yeah those are that's like the funnest we do yeah we do like yeah we'll do like an hour-long show and it gets really melodramatic and kind of emotionally cathartic and stephanie's just such a good actor yeah there's something so funny about when she's just really grounded in a scene and you're like i'm just acting with a really brilliant actor who's playing like a therapist

or like you know how this is just so funny when she really commits to just being like very where you're like well my leg fell off in a sewer and she's like oh my god like i'm so sorry like she just is playing the truth of the reaction yeah yeah yeah she's good she's good i live with her stephanie was right behind me in the groundlings program and i would love going to see her shows because she was always so unique when you said stephanie was right behind me in the groundlings i just pictured her just following you around like standing right behind you she was in the program the the group right behind after mine and she did a thing at the mall the sketch take uh took place at a chico's and it was a fashion show for Chico's. It made me laugh so hard.

Everyone's in these like culottes and blouses. What's a culotte? It's like a, it's like a pant that has big flowy legs. Okay. Um, for like people that women wear like in the summer when they don't want to wear shorts.

Oh, nice. She was like the person narrating the fashion show. It was just so funny. Comedy's fun, you guys. You guys. Not always, but sometimes. Yeah. Well, I started in improv.

That was my way into stand-up. Stand-up seemed too scary to just start there. So I took classes at the Groundlings to learn improv. And that's what helped me get, like, I had stage fright back then. And that helped me get rid of it, learning improv. And did you move to la fortune to be an actor or a stand-up or no i didn't really know what i wanted to do i got you just knew you were a star yeah i didn't know that for sure you just knew you were one of god's favorite children

yes it was the chosen one i had never done standup. I had never done improv when I moved to L.A. I had done acting and theater at college, but it wasn't the best. I was, like, again, I had that stage fright. We also weren't doing comedies, so it was, like, dramatic stuff and Shakespeare. So what was your vision in your head when you were moving to L.A.? I got a job doing, like type stuff. And so I moved for just the life experience. I was like, oh, I don't really want to go to grad school yet. And I've never been to LA and I got this job opportunity. I was like, yeah, why not? Let's just have a life

thing. And then I can be a grown up later. So I moved not really knowing what I was doing. And then when I was here, I had a hard time making friends. What? Yeah. I can't imagine. You're the most, like, rude. You are the rudest, coldest. I was shy, though.

Really? I was in a shy phase because I had just moved from Spain. I was living in Spain for a year. moved from spain i was living in spain for a year right and i found when i was living in spain i became kind of more introverted i'm already kind of an extroverted introvert and that spain made me really introverted and it seeped into my first year in la i was pretty shy right so it wasn't like the bubbly chatty i was just kind of like hey guys you were the shy pa yeah the shy pa is a pretty good character anybody want to hang out hi i'm sorry do you want to they're like why haven't you asked me if i want a coffee and

you're like i was going to i just didn't know how to ask. Do you want one? Yeah. I'm not shy. Speak up. Oh, hi, I'm the shy production assistant, sir. I wasn't even out yet. I didn't even know I was gay when I moved to LA. Everyone else did. If you can believe it, they sure did.

The shy closeted PA is my favorite new sitcom. The shy closeted PA. I'm like, yeah, any single guys any single guys are like who is this person wait were you really inquiring about single guys oh I wasn't inquiring but I was like oh yeah I'm single I'm not the right guy I just haven't met the right guy yet that's what uh I used to do a joke about that when people were like oh yeah you just haven't found the right guy yet i was like uh you're right um and until then uh i'll just do this gay thing yeah i'm just gonna keep gaying it up until the right guy comes along well obviously

in hindsight i look back and go oh my god like are you kidding me i was so gay i'm single i'm single and shy like a kid do you know any shy guys are there any like really sensitive guys that like to talk about their feelings because i'd be really into that it's fine if they're gay So I was single, clearly. Single and no friends. Were you tempted to try New York ever, you two? Or was LA always the... I didn't plan to move to LA. My childhood best friends. We grew up together. We moved around just based on where they were going to college or grad school and all of that. You tagged along? Yeah, I was just tagging along.

And then we were in Colorado. My friend finished getting her master's, and the two of them wanted to move to L.A. to get into TV and film. And I was like, well, I guess I'll come. Just not because I wanted to be in TV or film or stand-up or anything. I was just like, well, I couldn't possibly imagine my life without them. So we moved out to LA and I slept on their couch and got a place. But I saw in the paper that you could do stand up at like coffee shops and laundromats and everywhere in LA. So I, um, I started doing standup and then I

accidentally landed here. Remember when you could find stuff in the paper? Like I found you, I used to find all my apartments and jobs in the newspaper, like in Toronto, the weekly, uh, now magazine, but yeah, you go to the back and it would be like looking for a roommate or um you know call center job or whatever those are those are the days oh my god was popular when i first moved la that's how i did start making friends eventually was i went on craigslist stop well i joined the growlings the improv started making friends there and then I joined like an ultimate frisbee team and a soccer team. Oh, my gosh. Via Craigslist?

I went to an African drumming. Well, like any good straight, shy girl would do. I know. I also went to African drumming classes. Oh, my gosh. Seriously? Casting a wide net to make friends. Oh, my gosh.

You were doing that solely to make friends? Solely to make friends. And who that solely to make friends solely to make friends who is your lasting friend from your african drumming class from your um she just texted me last week monica she's having her birthday party soon but yeah i went from like because i remember it was 2005 i had been in la for a year and a half and it was Christmas time and I called my mom. I'm like, I'm so sad. I don't have any friends. LA is so hard.

Nobody's nice. Nobody talks to each other. I don't know what to do. And she goes, do you want to come home and move in with me? I go, no. She said, then she goes, then you need to start trying to make friends you need to put yourself out there you've got it how old were you um 20 and 25 okay she was like you know of course she's like go to church i'm like no next she's like okay i do weirdly when when i moved to england i weirdly

i had a slow time making friends in eng, but I moved there with my girlfriend. So we had each other. But I had this day job in a call center and I weirdly did go to a church group to meet people. I was just interested. I could go on my lunch break at work. It was right around the corner and I went once a week because I really like the stories and the mythology and stuff. And I thought, maybe this is what i'm missing i would go and you get a ham sandwich and you talk about saint paul and his letters to the ephesians or whatever and i was very quickly i was like oh no this is bad because

they were like they weren't into me and they were not into gay people and i was like damn because i kind of was hoping i'd find this like y'all listening to y'all's stories, but I guess I'll leave. Yeah, I was loving these stories, man. Loved your ham sandwiches, man. Yeah, yeah. I guess I'll go date girls now. I was just trying to be proactive, and I thought maybe I'd find some spirituality I was lacking. Well, people do meet each other at those churches.

You just have to both your life views and morals have to line up for that to be your people, you know you just have to both your um life views and morals have to line up for that to be your people you know i should have found like a unitarian like kind of you know something like that yeah yeah well i ended up going from my mom was just like if you want to be there and you want to if you don't want to come home then you have to start being the one trying and i ended up that's when i went to craigslist found all those different sports, African drumming, all these things. So in 2005, I went from also being in the closet and having no friends to now I realize I'm gay. I've joined all these groups, all these sports teams.

By summertime, I have so many friends and I'm throwing barbecues in my backyard i'm introducing people to each other wow like all the friends and i'm now like the social guru for the next like eight years oh my god and like people met their now spouse at my barbecues i'd have these big barbecues every year and and I would have friends perform, and we'd raise money for charity things. Other shy PAs. I met so many friends at your barbecues.

That's also the year I started stand-up. All these things happened in 2005 because I put myself out there. I remember when I first moved to L.A., I called my mother and I told her that I was so scared about an earthquake hitting. I'd only seen them in movies and TV shows and it seemed like, it was my impression that an earthquake meant that the city, the building, meant that the city the building everything would be rattling for like 30 minutes i i didn't think it was quick and i remember when i called my mother concerned about earthquakes she said oh well sweetie why don't you move home yeah and i was i was like almost 30 years old i mean i was

like maybe 26 27 i was, I can't move home because I'm scared of an earthquake. We've been talking about it on the podcast. I've been treading water lately, just a few minutes out of my day that I take for myself to do something that's good for me. I wake up feeling better. I have more energy. And you know, small actions like that can have big benefits, like how taking care of your gut can support whole body health. Well, Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic benefits your gut, skin, and heart health in just two little capsules a day. Now I've been using Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic and it's great. My skin feels better. I feel better. It's just good. So trust your gut with Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic. Go to seed.com slash handsome and use code 25handsome to get 25% off your first month.

That's 25% off your first month of Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic at seed.com slash handsome code 25handsome. I love the show, Hacks, and it is back, baby, for season three. That's right. We are going to see what kind of antics Deborah Vance is up to this season. She is such a treat to watch because who doesn't love Jean Smart? She is so freaking talented. Now, season two left off with Ava being fired. If you haven't watched any of Hacks, guess what?

It's on Max. You can catch up. And I highly recommend that you do so before season three starts. There is also an official Hacks podcast. In each episode, Hacks creators Lucia Agnello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky speak with cast and crew members to unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. So check out that podcast, but watch Hacks streaming exclusively on Max and listen to the official Hacks podcast on Max or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm still a little scared of earthquakes. Oh, yeah, they're scary. Yeah. But luckily, they don't last 30 minutes. I felt one, it was like a year year ago or so and i just got dumped and i was so sad and then um and then the like the night after i got dumped the earthquake it was the first time i'd ever been awake and felt one and it was like man there's nothing lonelier than being alone in an earthquake like just like awake in bed and like well broken hearted yes no

one to look out for. Are you okay? No one to reach for. And you're just like, I guess the earth is about to swallow me whole. And God love it. I feel the earth move under my feet. Our son Finn came into our room when he was like three maybe in the middle of the night. And right when he got in our bed an earthquake hit and it like really

rattled and like moved the house he was so confused and scared and after that happened anybody he came across he was like wanting to talk about earthquakes and how it's going to be okay and you don't have to be scared yeah and he was processing it through nurturing other people that weren't even concerned or asking about it and this went on for a good year oh my it was the saddest cutest thing to see him trying to work that out but it didn't it didn't go away quickly for him yeah he's like i'm never getting in that bed again yeah exactly that's so funny though yeah i love like yeah i love when kids are working stuff out via like thinking that they're helping other people. But it's so obvious that they're this child who I live with struggles with losing at board games.

Like, yeah, like finds that really upsetting. And so we were I was like, oh, this is a good idea. I'm going to pretend. So I was like, oh, man, sometimes if I lose a board game, I just flip flip out like i i get so mad and we were playing this board game i was like guys if i lose like i'm i might like cause some real shit here like i'm gonna freak out she was like yeah and she was like no you know real shit but then she's like soothing me and she's like you know sometimes you lose and it's like helping her because she's like yeah you can't win all the time. And then and then I she kind of wants to see me lose now.

So I I lose and I'm like, oh, my God. And then I like throw up, destroy the house. Yeah, I go outside. I'm like, I got to cool down. I got to go outside. And she's like, OK, you got to take a deep breath. And then we're playing. And then I'm slowly realizing, like, there's a point at which she just thinks I'm a psychopath.

I'm teaching her, but I don't want her to think I'm actually. She's like, I have real anger issues. Yes. This is related but unrelated, but who cares? Last night, Max and Finn had these little ice cream pops and finn had his first and then max came downstairs and finn finn is so aware of these ice cream they love them he he loves them in particular he loves them so much and so if we have friends coming over he's always like uh maybe we should buy a few boxes of those ice creams and uh so he's like really he's really

on it you know so last night he finishes his ice cream time goes by then max comes down and finn is like max do you want your ice cream and uh and max like uh yeah sure and he goes okay max do you want me to get it for you and uh and so he's assisting in the whole process because he wants to be close to that ice cream he wants it but he knows he can't have it so he's so he gets ice cream out of the freezer for max and then he's like max do you want a little bowl to put your ice cream in when you're not eating it and max is just like sure just like going along but finn is just like here you go max and he's putting it on the counter and like oh you know pulls the chair out for max to sit down and he's just sitting he's like what what that translates to is just like i want that

ice cream so desperately oh my god it was so cute i could hardly deal with it is there a world in which he ever gets to or that's a big no no he they've gotten to and it's mainly when they've helped themselves to the second one and And, and then they act like, Oh, I didn't know. I couldn't just keep eating endless ice cream cones. Yeah. And then it's like,

and they're like, good. Do I just finish it? Or do you want it mayor? And it's like, no, you can have it, but you can't just eat ice cream until bedtime.

That sounds like me. I'm'm like what what i didn't okay nobody told me that we shouldn't do that i didn't know there was except i'm a grown woman and this is my wife that i'm having this conversation oh my bad i mean it was just there i was like okay we had we had one of those boxes of chocolates that have different flavors all in it. And I had set it aside because it wasn't vegan to give to somebody else. And when I decided, oh, all right, that box of chocolates, I'll bring that, give that to this person, whatever. And I open it. No joke.

There was a nibble out of every chocolate in there. Oh, my God. And one or both of our roommates had gone in there and tasted all of the chocolates. But what self-restraint to not eat the whole thing, like just to take a little nibble? But I think it was because it's not vegan. It probably tasted weird to them. Oh, that's interesting. That's so funny well should

we get into our uh question we should i'm excited about this because we've wanted to get them on well we did record we recorded like an hour and a half long great episode great it actually was really good i know it was like an interview episode and then it was when we were testing this our podcast and what it would be figure out what it is yeah yeah like the format guests in person and brett like was like one of us yeah and then we were like we're just gonna get people to do questions so i'm glad that we finally have got him on a lot of people have asked for him uh on the socials uh so today we have Brett Goldstein. He's an actor, a writer, a comedian, best known for playing Roy Kent on Ted Lasso.

He's won two Emmys for that role, which is insane. Two Emmys. He also co-created the show Shrinking and you can listen to his podcast films to be buried with. It's the most handsome comedian around, Brett Goldstein.

Nice. Hi, handsomes. This is brett goldstein big fan huge fan uh my question for you all is do you have a recurring dream or nightmare that you've perhaps had all your life i'd like to hear from all three of you please in a specific order. Tig first, then Mavis, then Fortune. I like how Brett says our names. That's the first guest who's requested a specific order. Yeah, yeah, I like it. But I feel a little on the spot here, especially since I don't really remember my dreams.

Really? No. Well, think about it for a second. I do want to say about Brett. I have a lot to say about Brett. He's just the dreamiest. He really is. I know I'm a big old les.

We all know this about me. Yeah. My wife's a big old les. My wife's been out since she was 15. We're both gold stars. Yeah. That means we've never had the pain i know where this is going but brett is your i mean my wife saw him last night we went to this thing and he was there and she giggled like a school girl i'm not my wife does not there's no

man in the world that can make my wife giggle and she was like that's so funny and then she she realized she did it she goes oh my god he just made me giggle i go i know you're like yeah i know how do you think i feel honey that was very confusing to me too um but i see he has that effect on everyone, even like giant celebrities. I see them meet him and like they are giggling. He's got this thing. I know he really does.

But it's so funny. I think he had to come to America for that to really explode. He was successful in England. I've known him for so long, just from the stand-up circuit and we lived together one summer at the edinburgh fringe and stuff and he was always like amazing and so charming and yeah something he he has morphed into a true heartthrob i don't know the british folks didn't appreciate it quite like the americans do they do now and they did but i don't know he's i think he really tapped into something with that character roy kent i think he really lit people's pontes on fire with that

he really lit the pontes on fire for sure i think americans they love an accent you know he's yeah he's bringing it and he's got that combination of masculinity and vulnerability yes like catnip he's like such a dude but then he's like fortune how are you feeling you know you have like this like deep conversation where he's looking you in the eyes and he's like that's great who's been your favorite person tonight that you've talked to yeah i mean i also think the bar is in this at some of those parties is like Hollywood parties. The bar is so low for just like people actually being engaged and looking in the eye and saying something. And like, so I think a lot of the Brits stand out for that reason, because they're like, they actually want to chat, you know?

Oh, is that a British thing? Because, yeah, the L.A. thing is you're talking to someone and they're looking over your shoulder. Yeah. Who else is in the room i hate that yeah they're like oh there's thomas willett that's right yeah there he is we just tell me a video of me and brett kissing on stage went on someone posted on twitter or something and it's the most watched thing of anything i've ever done in my whole career like the most wow they got the more attention than anything i've ever done and people were like is that simon cowell and ellen degeneres we all did a show together and you named it what was it called yeah that we that we make love to one another live on stage we do a lot of making out

we do a lot of yeah well so y'all named it that kind of as a joke right but then people came really wanting y'all to make out yeah the vent with the first we arrived to do it in the venue was like do you guys need a tarp on stage or something we're like what do you think this is like bad yeah you're gonna have a sex show yeah yeah you guys probably need a tarp right we did make out for real once in our lives oh really how did how did that go we were at the edinburgh fringe festival and we were like we were both single i think we went into the month we were sharing an apartment and at the beginning of the month we were like hey man both of us were like you know we're probably gonna be out a lot we're probably gonna bring home a lot of babes. Like, this is going to be a really fun month.

We could not get laid the whole month. And every night we'd go out and being like, I think I got a vibe with this person. And for some reason we couldn't get, we couldn't even kiss anyone. We were striking out left, right and center. And we were like, what is wrong? Are we repulsive? Like, what's happening? And then right near the end of the month, we went to a party.

And I think I had instigated spin the bottle at the party. And we were like, tonight's the night. We're going to hook up with people. Again, ended up walking home, just the two of us. The sun's coming up. And we were like, I mean, yeah, exactly. And then I think I did a smooth move, which is I got a glass bottle from a recycling bin. We were walking by and I spun it on the ground. I was like, should we just play spin the bottle?

And then we made out for a bit. And then we were both like, all right, well, anyway, good night. It didn't have the magic that the friendship has. The friendship is too magic. It's too magical, yeah yeah sometimes you just don't have that smoochy smooch with your friends like you tried it and it was like yeah i love kissing him but yeah we're he's he's just the best kindest friend well i have remembered a dream that i've had a few times oh great see all we had to do is it's not a nightmare. Did he say nightmare? Yeah. Okay. Well, I've had a dream probably, I don't know, two or three times in my life where I realize

I'm in someone's house. I know them and I'm in their house and I'm like, whoa, I know them and I'm in their house and I'm like whoa why am I in fortune's kitchen you know what I mean where I I don't understand how I ended up in that room of somebody's house wait that's it yeah oh my god what what I guess I guess as someone who doesn't regularly remember their dreams you're like oh yeah i got one but that's like the to i think to the average person that's like the the first one percent of a dream you know like well i'm lucky i got even that i mean because i just wake up going well i guess i was just unconscious and now i'll just get this new day started you know i'm kind of like that too though seriously yeah i don't have i i don't have a lot of vivid dreams that i remember oh my god i'm i'm

just tossing and turning talking in my sleep dreaming i think my subconscious is more unhealthy than yours guys what does it mean if someone has a lot of dream are we all having dreams but some of us remember and some of us well it depends on if you get to that uh realm right uh because some of them you don't dream right of like rem because you know i have this i have this app called sleep talk that records it records your whole night and it's activated by sound so it records if you're talking in your sleep and mainly it's farts, let's be honest. But then there's... So you have a chatty bottom? It's like this. And wait, what does Parvati think about your chatty bottom?

No, I'm not really farting a lot in my sleep. I like a chatty bottom. It sounds like maybe you have a chatty bottom. Does anyone out there listening have a chatty bottom? If like maybe you have a chatty bottom does anyone out there listening have a chatty bottom oh my god let us know here at the handsome pod but i'm like such a conflict-averse person in my life i never raise my voice really very rarely and and in my sleep i am like fuck you i am angry i am it's so crazy and i wanted to find get all that aggression out in your dreams yes it's life telling you to speak up your dreams saying let it out may yeah so then the in the app it saves

like i it saves all the recordings and you type out. Let's hear your chatty bottom. Go on. Let's hear that chatty bottom. Hang on. Who's got that chatty bottom? May's got that chatty bottom. I said, who's got that chatty bottom?

May's got that chatty bottom. Chatty bottom. Yeah. Okay. Chatty bottom. And then behind May is. Oh, yeah. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,

wah, wah, wah. And that's the Charlie Brown. Uh-huh. This is one that is funny because I sound so lucid. And what I'm saying is this is a rat. And I'm saying it sounds like I'm in Game of Thrones or something. In the mafia. Wait.

I don't know what that was actually. That was sexy time. Yeah, that sounded very intimate. Put your hand here. No, put it here. Is that what that was? Put your hand right here. I don't know what that was i don't know what it said on my chatty bottom no that's not can you plug my chatty bottom

i want you to plug it plug my chatty bottom cork it a finger and is that is my chatty bottom here's this is a rat this is a rat that wasn't your sound? I'm asleep and I sound like Judi Dench. Can you play that one more time? Yeah, okay. Ready? Can you make that a song? Do you think I should remix it? Yes, of course. Okay.

This is a rat. It's insane. It's insane. I hope that there is somebody on the other side of that going what is this yeah and they're just pointing at a rodent this is a rat and we're so like um it sounds like you're fully awake and you're enunciating this is a rat. Okay, this is years ago. I'm in England. I was dating someone at the time and you can hear her. She's in bed with me. And this is what she wakes up to. Okay, ready? Imagine this.

You fucking hypocrite. That was you again? Yes, and I sound strangled. I'm fully asleep. I swear I'm going to play for you again. You fucking hypocrite. Like what? That sounds like a scene from a movie. It's so abusive.

So then she goes, what? And then I go. I want to break up with you. And you're laughing. I want to break up with you and you're laughing? I might break up with you and you're laughing i might break up with you and you're laughing so she's trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and then we get to the we get to the bottom of what's going on so in this next clip you can hear her poor little scared voice and she's like may stop it you're scaring me you're scaring me and it's not funny and i'm

completely asleep and i'm like i'm awake i love that you record all these well that's the app get that app fortune okay okay i'm really pissed well stop it because you're talking and it's scaring me it's so scary did you okay then i say why i'm mad okay then this is the big reveal of why i've been going you fucking hypocrite i'm gonna break up with you the reveal is coming she doesn't know what a rat is yeah right i don't know okay so this is the big reveal yeah it's so scary did you So scary. Did you fuck Harry Stile? Did you fuck Harry Stile? With no ass. I thought you said, did you fuck her still?

No, did you fuck Harry Stile? And I love her reaction, my girlfriend at the time. Did you fuck Harry Stile? You want to wake up? God, I'm pissed off. Wow. That is crazy. wow okay but here's my concern how old is your mattress it did go it's like a cartoon like just talking it's squeaking like willie wonka's grandparents Charles Dickens novel yeah I was completely picturing willie wonka's grandparents all four of them lying in that old bed look it's an ikea bed frame I built it very badly you're scaring me and do you think she brought harry style back to that squeaky bed

did you fuck harry style like i'm so abusive and scary and she's it is your voice is very like yeah um like you're in the mafia like yeah it's like real emotion right yeah it felt like a scene from your show feel good really because of the british accent stop scaring me and that accent is sexy it's a sexy accent oh just in my day-to-day life i'm not a jealous person i'm not accusatory i don't if i but in my subconscious i'm like you better not fucking look at anyone like it's crazy i think at some point we've all been concerned. Did our partner sleep with Harry style? The only happy sleep talk recording I have, cause they're,

they're all kind of upsetting. And then the only really cheerful one I have is there's one a couple of years ago, one night I go, Oh boy, I got a puppy. And I say it like that. Oh boy. I got a puppy. And I say it like that. Oh boy, I got a puppy.

Oh boy. Wow, that's cool. Yeah, I didn't even know about this app. No. So you don't remember your dreams either, Fortune? No, not really. I have this one dream I remember when I was a kid of a witch, kind of like the Wizard of Oz coming over the banister.

And that scared me for like years. Over the banister? Yeah. Like the green witch, very giant witch came there like it was at my grandmother's house. She had like this wraparound staircase and the witch like came over the staircase and with the big scary green i'd probably just watch the wizard of oz or something i would bet that's true but in general yeah i mean like last night i had a dream where it's like i couldn't find my car um so sometimes i'll have like stressful dreams where i wake up going i'm so stressed about whatever i was like i'm i can consciously when i wake up be like thank

god i woke up i was so stressed that i couldn't figure out whatever was happening in that dream right it's so crazy when you have i i had a dream once that i kissed ricky lindholm oh really who's ricky lindholm she's an actress writer director she's part of um garfunkel and oats oh yeah yeah the blonde yeah she's an old friend and i have never looked at her that way and i had a dream that we macked down and then when i saw her again i was like ricky oh my. I had this insane dream where we were kissing. And I, yeah, I think there was probably a week where I thought I was kind of attracted to Ricky because of that kiss in my dream. It was so crazy. I haven't had many dreams like that about somebody. And it was so, Ricky felt so random to me. wonder yeah what she represents to your

subconscious or something that's so funny it's so funny to me how your brain it's like you're sitting side stage as a director and you're like okay now bring on the elephant with the uh wig okay and now take make out with uh ricky it's like a director that is out of their mind nothing makes sense you're just like oh okay ricky lindholm okay sure i'll kiss her i had a dream about eminem once like marshall mathers where it was a full love story where like when i woke up i felt like i understood him i connected to him like i i felt so much loyalty to eminem and like guys i get him like yeah it felt so real but my my dad used to have he is good at like lucid dreaming and and in his childhood and into his teens if he was having a nightmare he knew that if he could just

find a bowl of tomato soup in the dream like he'd go oh fuck i'm in a nightmare right now i gotta look for the bowl of tomato soup and he'd find he'd go oh fuck i'm in a nightmare right now i gotta look for the bowl of tomato soup and he'd find it like behind a couch or under a table and if he could just take a sip of it then the the whole dream would be flooded by warm tomato soup and he'd wake up oh that's interesting that is wild heard that yeah my wife has had dreams where in her dream, I did something that she didn't care for. Or like kissed a girl or something and she would wake up upset with me. Yeah. And I'd be like, what's going on?

I've had that where I've had, that is a recurring dream where Stephanie breaks up with me. And now the truth comes out. There's a lot of dreaming. We got Ricky. dream where stephanie breaks up with me and now the truth comes out there's a lot of dreaming we got ricky yeah i woke up a few days devastated and upset with stephanie and oh yeah and they're just like i didn't do anything i was over here snoring yeah like i did not care for the way you broke up with me the thing that I have done that has stood out the most to me was clearly there was some sort of dream happening. I talk about it in my stand up special Sweet and Salty. But I had done that whole 30 thing where you cut out all this stuff and you only eat whole foods. And I had eliminated sugar and dairy

and gluten and everything and um I stayed off of that stuff for a couple months and then when I I had a show in Toronto and I came and everyone was like you have to eat this chicken sandwich and um I don't know why I decided to break my whole foods thing and i ate it and that night i guess i had like crazy dreams and i've never had this happen before but i woke up and i had my hands on jack's like kind of towards her chest. What? You're not going to kill her? I don't know. Or eat her.

Oh my God. Yeah, eat her like a sandwich. And she goes, what are you doing? I go, what? What? And I'm like, and I'm like coming to. And she's like, oh my God. I go, oh my God.

And I'm like, what was that? She goes, I don't know. And we're both looking at each other like, what the F?. I go, oh, my God. And I go, what was that? She goes, I don't know. And we're both looking at each other like, what the F? And I go, it's the gluten. Can you imagine that in a trial? Your Honor, it was the gluten. Yeah. It was the craziest thing I've ever experienced.

I think something was happening in my dream. I was like trying to protect myself and didn't realize I had like lunged at jacks and it wasn't thank god it wasn't like a real like it was just kind of my hands were in her vicinity but we were like oh my god were you sent to the guest room for the next month i mean she definitely was like what the f F? And I go, I don't know. I don't. I don't. It has never happened since. Nothing. It's not like I'm not like a sleep talker or a walker or a choker or any of it.

You're not a sleep choker. But it was, I really do think the gluten, the gluten got me. Wow. If you're listening to this, and also you guys, there's a video on YouTube. Just search mom sleepwalking. And it's this kid in his 20s. And he's filmed his mom sleepwalking. And she's being hilarious. She's like the tomato cage is open or something like that. And then he shows her then there's a video of he's showing her that video. And she has no idea she's been filmed's like what are we about to watch he's like just watch just watch and then you watch her react to seeing herself in the kitchen fully doing these weird movements and it is so funny she goes oh that's not that's not right that's not right it's crazy you gotta watch it i also find it fascinating when people do like all that like online shopping and stuff on Ambien. What?

Yeah, I have friends that have been on Ambien and they ordered a ton of stuff from Amazon. Really? All these packages showed up a couple days later and they're like, what is this? It's wild when your body can just function like that and move about the world and do things, and you're not, there's nobody at home. What if I had done this whole, like, every episode of our podcast, I'd just been on Ambien the whole time. Like, I didn't even know I was doing the handsome pod.

You're like, wait, I'm on the handsome pod? Yeah. I mean, obviously. Chatting with friends. Mike Birbiglia. Oh, that's right. Our previous guest. He very famously jumped out of a window.

What? Yeah, you don't know about that? No. Oh, yeah, because he's a crazy sleepwalker. He jumped out of a second story window. Oh, fuck. To this day, he has to be zipped up in this like sleeping bag with mittens on so he like can't get himself out of that oh my god i mean i can't imagine

yeah he did a show about it in a movie about it called sleepwalk with me okay i'm gonna watch that that's crazy yeah yeah i bet there are a lot of people who use it as a fake defense and in court like i mean there definitely have been cases where the person was like i had no idea i was asleep yeah i robbed that bank i was fully asleep they're in the bank being like did you fuck harry style to the cashier with your chattyty bottom. Honk, honk. Should we listen to Brett's answer? Yes, please. Yeah, let's do it.

I regret putting that order. I think the order may have been a mistake. I didn't realize it would lead to such trouble between the three of you. It was just top of my head, the order wasn't in, it didn't mean anything. It didn't take any head, the order wasn't in, it didn't mean anything, it didn't take any meaning

from the order. My answer to, I have a recurring dream, quite a dark one, I have a dream that someone gives me drugs before a show and I smoke the drugs and the drugs are so strong that I go blind and I can't communicate or explain that I'm so high that I can't see and I sort of get put on stage. Like, go and do this show. And I'm blind and so high I can't speak and that's kind of the dream. So it's sort of like dreaming that you've forgotten your lines

but instead of that you're blind and you're fucked i have had dreams before about like forgetting lines in plays or not getting my homework done in school like as an adult oh yeah i've always had a fear of forgetting my lines in a live like stage show. Have you ever had that happen? I've I've definitely blanked out before. I had it happen on Conan. My very first Conan set when I did stand up, they they were supposed to have my bullet points on a cue card and no one told the it didn't go down the um chain of command oh my god so i was started my set and it was going well but i i just like i'm just gonna glance at the cue cards and the cue card guy was sitting on the ground with the cue cards on his lap and so then my like ocd kicked in of like oh wait he he's supposed to have the cue cards he's not does and should someone

tell him that he doesn't have the cue cards and i couldn't call up my next like this is all going in my head yeah oh my i couldn't call up my next joke because my like ocd kind of thing was spinning and why is he just sitting there with them in his lap no one told him i needed cue cards he assumed that the comedian knew their own material knew their five minutes but it was my it was my it was a long time ago and it was my very first televised set so i was nervous so i wanted the bullet points as a security blanket yeah yeah so i was looking at i was going um um and it felt like i mean it felt like a lifetime it is was my true nightmare come to life yeah i look at conan he's like smiling look at andy he's smiling everyone's like i know they're like feeling for me and i kind of stumble my way back into my set and thank god just

i figured it out and kept it going and then the when they put it out they took out that part luckily because I got done and there people come running over oh my god we're so sorry that was you know yeah they knew it wasn't on me so I think that's why they gave me the grace of editing it oh my god I'm glad that you were able to get back like get your mojo back and finish it because i was like i was stuck i was paralyzed i i was like i don't know how to get pull out of this and i know we already talked on another episode about my taylor dane bit but um I did that bit on Conan. And it was during a time when I had just been so sick and hospitalized for my intestinal disease. And my mother had died. And my girlfriend and I broke up that day.

And I went on and was doing Taylor Dayne. And I spaced out and I was so overwhelmed with life and the audience was like laughing nervously and um thinking I was doing a bit and I was acknowledging that I was like oh you think I'm doing a bit I'm actually i was just blanked and then when i went backstage the producer came up he's like hey don't worry about it don't worry about it we can clean that up and and i was so down and out that i just was like you know what i don't even care just just put it out like that just put it out that. I'm sure people will be interested to see somebody flailing like that. I'm fine with it.

And he's like, really? And I said, yeah, if you could just put it out like that. Oh, you actually wanted that. You're like, I want that. I just thought I was just in such a crazy headspace of like, you know, losing my health and my mother and my girlfriend that i was just like yeah i'll just i don't even care just put it out like it is i don't i i'm not together so you don't even have to make it look like i'm together so it went out and then i remember somebody had written a piece

about that appearance yeah speculating if i was doing a bit or not right oh my god is this meta yeah i was not doing a bit i was stumbling through the whole thing and oh my god yeah so it's out there for your enjoyment you are unpredictable in that way that i would not know either if it was a bit yeah i'd be like is this some genius andy Andy Kaufman meta anti-comedy thing? Nope, it was just someone down and out, just went through a breakup hours before. Oh, God. And I didn't even know right around the corner

I was going to get a cancer diagnosis. That was just creeping around the corner. Jesus. But yeah, I've been endlessly amused watching that because of what the audience thought was going on that was not what was going on they're like gosh tig she she's so inventive she's so inventive when she when you think she's gonna zig she zags when you think she's gonna zip she zap zaps i was just thinking that but i don't have the training to know zap zap zip so you get where brett's anxiety comes from though that's like a profoundly universal

fear to be in front of an audience and, yeah, incapacitated like that. Yeah. God, and he was really, he was regretting giving us the order to answer in, but little did he know we would ignore that instruction completely. We sort of followed it. Did we? I just love, he's the only person on earth that calls me Mavis, and I want to clarify my name is not short for Mavis. Mavis is not short. It's just what he's the only person on earth that calls me Mavis and I want to clarify my name is

not short for Mavis it's just what he calls me and he's the only one who I would allow that your lover boy yeah I call him Bradley because one time he has a story that he was on vacation in Jamaica and uh he introduced himself to this guy like five times. And every time the guy just thought his name was Bradley. So he'd be like, morning, Bradley. And he might play one of the grumpiest characters on television and the quote unquote meanest. And he's the nicest, biggest sweetheart. Yeah.

Well, that was a fun episode. I got to keep it in my ponties over here. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah, that was great. We have some stuff to plug. If you guys are into seeing some more comedy, we've got it for you.

I am at Largo on the 24th of Feb. That's all I know at the moment, confirmed. Definitely come to that, though. And if you're out in New York, I'm going to be in Peekskill, New York, March 8th. Second show added in Waterville, Maine, March 10th. And then just zigzagging around,

zip zap, zip zops, all around Los Angeles between Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. So just go to my website, tignotaro.com. Sign up for the email list so you get all the important information right away. And it'll give you all ticket and show information there too. I hope some of you guys will join me on the last leg of my standup tour. Early March, Houston, Texas and Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Mid-March, Wilmington, North Carolina, and Durham, North Carolina, then Los Angeles, California at the theater at the

Yates Hotel. We've also added four new shows, San Luis Obispo, California, Albany, New York, Hartford, Connecticut, and Bakersfield, California. Then I have The Beacon in New York City, Rancho Mirage, California, Seattleattle washington and then toronto in mid-may so go to fortunefeimster.com for tickets as always check out handsomepod.com for merch and we got some good gear merch it's really good keeps sending us pictures we love seeing people in your handsome shirts and hats and your pretty little lady sweatshirts it's so fun to see so good also make sure you subscribe to handsome that is so key subscribe to the show if you want to see us continue doing this that's what keeps us going big time also tell a friend share an episode

share this episode tell an enemy you know yeah tell an enemy we don't care if you hate somebody make them laugh yeah and review us give us five stars give us a rave review we do really appreciate everybody who who keeps listening this podcast continues to blow us away as far as the response and yes people just it feels like a little community that we've created we have for sure pages that our fans chat with each other and on our instagram on a facebook fan page there's a lot of handsome folks that that uh are finding that community and i love that i love that people have a place they can go that are you know where they're I love that.

I love that people have a place they can go where they share with each other. I don't think I knew there was a Facebook community going. I haven't been in there, but I was told about that. Okay, nice. Yeah, man. Reddit, all kinds of stuff. Well, until next time, right? Yeah.

How about you guys? Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!