Handsome - Craig Robinson asks about ba da da da dah

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

Craig Robinson (The Office, Killing It) hits a high note with a very melodic question for the Handsome hosts! Plus Girl Scouts, Bruce Springsteen, pausing time, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, it is your friend and mine, Tig Notaro, joined by my co-hosts of the Handsome Pod, Todd. Mae Martin. And Fortune Feimster. Hello. You guys. Yeah, girl. I missed you. I know. It has been 10 minutes since we wrapped up our last episode. I asked for a 10-minute break because I went and just woof down some food real fast and then ran back up what did you wolf down some overnight oats that i make oh you're so healthy

what are you trying to be what are you putting in there okay i was hoping you'd ask it is steel cut oats okay okay chia seeds hemp seeds flax seeds raspberries wild blueberries bananas and then a little cacao powder mix that up cinnamon on top when you eat it yeah you put on the amount of cinnamon you want and then that just sits in the fridge for like five days and then stephanie and i just help ourselves to it uh as as we like it's such a great breakfast but it's also a delicious dessert or snack during the day because it's so easy to access and it's so nutrient dense oh that it sounds very healthy what's like the liquid that it soaks up uh well i do it only with water oh cool yeah um you uh sprinkle that dike sauce on it what's it called dust. No, dyke dust is specifically for savory.

Oh, okay. Whereas this overnight oats that I make, it's more on the sweeter side, but it's like natural sweet. Oh, okay. You know, like I don't add sugar. I don't add honey or some maple syrup or anything like that. Oh, honey sounds good on that. Yeah. I bet you could open a vegan cafe.

Like, because everything you're describing sounds amazing to me. I just don't have the sort of, I don't know, wherewithal to do it. To make it and stuff. Okay, so I appreciate that, but my cafe would just be oatmeal? Yeah, and dike dust. That's your signature dish. And dike dust. And it's bring your own meal, and then I'll sprinkle dyke dust on there.

I like calling it dyke sauce. Yeah. You got that dyke sauce on that. Overnight oats out there. I need to start shifting my palate. Because to see your face light up like that, describing like one of the healthiest dishes i've ever heard of is like i love your joy yeah and i'm like i need more of that in my life well you should try this

and make a week's worth jacks you know how to make overnight oats jacks does yeah but the key is you want to use steel cut oats uh you don't want to use instant oats and you don't want to use um even just regular oats you you can it has the same nutritional value but steel cut oats they don't spike your blood uh sugar the way that regular oats do well because doesn't that instant oats have the chemicals and stuff in there well yeah i don't know what they're there's probably an old shoe in there too you know yeah i probably eat a lot of things with old shoes in it yeah they've in that if not an old shoe yeah in the oat factory just yeah just as a fuck you like every day somebody's got to give up a shoe to put in there yeah absolutely what'd you do with your 10 minute break fortune um good question i i went potty for 10 minutes a long a long slow stream

a long slow stream no i'm sending some text and then i potty i did reapply a little bit of foundation for our podcast i wanted to look handsome for my handsomes i didn't apply anything to my face and it shows go on but you're in a hotel room with jocks at the moment. Yeah, Jax and I had a staycation. We don't do that often. But yeah, we are in a hotel in the city in which we live. That's nice. I really like that. What a staycation is.

Or you just stay home andcation. I actually love being at home. That's great too. But we had like a little package thing that we had bid on for a charity like a year and a half ago and we were like we've never why don't we just use this and yeah so you can get why don't you use it and go podcast there yeah i know podcast i know i was like i am gonna be podcasting for a couple hours that's fine because it was jack's birthday and um uh we were celebrating that and uh we had like a nice dinner and we had a spa day and do you sing

to jack's on her i imagine she wakes up and you're singing happy birthday in a beautiful falsetto i did sing her happy birthday i asked her what she wanted uh we were at home on her birthday. And I said, what do you want for breakfast? I can pick up anything. Got to take to send over some dike dust. Yeah. Oats. She told me she wanted for me to make her gluten-free pumpkin pancakes. Now, I say this like I know how to make freshly baked pumpkin pancakes but it's a that's your

first problem you're baking them yeah i was gonna say i don't know that anyone's baking pancakes they're actually cakes in a pan you know what i mean yeah but you know so you pulled it off i pulled it off their pancakes were great I did put candles in the pancakes, not thinking that the pancakes were hot and it made some of the wax fall off. You know, they're also known as hot cakes. So she was like, I'm going to pick the wax out. I was like, here, switch with me.

She's like, no, it's fine. She's like picking wax out of her pancakes did you do any sort of shapes or faces or spell anything out with the pancakes skilled i'm not either but i mean i do it for max and finn you know i'll do an m and an f and you know yeah and it's terrible you put a couple of drops of green food coloring in and then you make it the shape of kind of like a Mickey Mouse head, but then the ears are the... You put banana slices there

and then a bit of red jam for the guts and it's roadkill. Roadkill frog. I did not think of that. Bulbous toad. Roadkill bulbous toad. I did sing her happy birthday. Jax doesn't like attention,

even if it's just the two of us so I sang in falsetto she's like don't look at me happy birthday to you and she's like oh god I'm like hey people would really enjoy me singing this I like how Jax doesn't like to be touched or looked at.

And then you sing to her and she plugs her ears. She's amazing. She's the best. She's her own person. That's what I love about her. Of course. Jax is radical, dude. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, dude. My grandma used to call from England to sing Happy Birthday. What did that sound like? Such a nice tradition. She'd sing it too fast to get through it. She'd go, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Like that, and get through it really fast. Didn't want to run up her long distance bill.

Yeah, then click, hangs up at the end. My friend and I used to, as completely grown adults in our forties, used to prank call people. And we would do this thing where we would act like we were an elderly couple. And we would call and somebody would answer the phone. And as soon as they answered,

we'd be like, happy birthday to you. And we'd sing the whole song. And at the, we'd be like, happy birthday to you. And we'd sing the whole song and at the end we'd be like, I love you, sweetheart. And then somebody would awkwardly go, I think you have the wrong number. And we're like, I don't think so. I have it written down right here.

You know, and just go back and forth with these people that are being so sweet to this couple that clearly dialed the wrong number perfect because you're not going to interrupt someone no singing the song no and they sit through the whole thing oh that's amazing do you guys remember when it was so popular at chain restaurants to tell them it was your birthday and then you would get a free dessert i still do that i remember in high school our big thing was it was not someone's birthday but we desperately wanted a free dessert so we would always pick one person and not tell them and we would tell the waitress that that was the person's birthday and then all of a sudden here came like the parade of clapping and singing it never gets old that was like for one scoop of vanilla ice

cream with a candle and we were like we got you we got you you didn't even see that coming and we're all eating the dessert you're all sharing one scoop it chili's was a big one because they back then they'd bring you like the molten cake now they're i doubt they do that but that was a big one back pre-pandemic you get the molten cake i've always wanted to go to a restaurant by myself and then go up to the front counter and be like, hi, excuse me. I just want to let you know it's my birthday. And then go sit down and wait for them to surprise me with a big molten cake. You know, like I always picture myself at a Mexican restaurant with like a sombrero.

Because there's a restaurant in Texas that I used to go to when I was a kid. And you'd wear the sombrero on because there's a restaurant in texas that i used to go to when i was a kid and you'd wear the sombrero and they'd sing to you and so i was always imagining that prank happening by yourself by myself at the mexican restaurant wearing a sombrero with all standing around singing to me by myself you might get you might get a whole free meal that way they feel so bad for you i love that and then like posing by myself like could you take a picture of me please imagine being on you're on a plane and you say to this like the flight attendant excuse me it's my birthday can i meet the pilot so many moments all the perks of having a birthday i know yeah you get a free thing at starbucks too i think what do you get just you know are you gonna drink yeah you have to

go to starbucks member i do yeah you know why we'll edit that out yeah edit that out i go because they have one like snack box that is so nostalgic for me because it's like a peanut, a tiny peanut butter and jam sandwich, a string cheese, some carrots and some apple slices and some chocolate covered raisins. And I'm just like, I'm happy in my heart. You know, that sounds tasty. Yeah. Gross. I love a PB&J. Love a PB&J.

I do too. Oh my gosh. I love it. So good. And I know it's again full of chemicals but those little uncrustables what's uncrustables it is the greatest thing you're gonna have on your mouth okay new sponsor is it is it the frozen ones it's the the frozen ones. So it's in the freezer section of a grocery store. Again, I know it's not a healthy treat, but whatever.

It's no steel cut oats. YOLO. It's like in a little round shape. And they have either grape jelly or strawberry jam. And it's peanut butter and jelly or strawberry jam and it's peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and strawberry jam no crust so it's the middle part of the sandwich

the best part the crust is that doogie butt fortune fortune marie emily fortune and it's frozen you can either take it out and let it just thaw or you can like put it in a microwave for like 20 seconds and my memory may pearl it is this is a tree in your mouth it's in

bread though yeah it's in bread why do they call it crustables it should be uncrustable oh uncrustables okay now it all makes sense we've been talking about it on the podcast i've been treading water lately just a few minutes out of my day that i take for myself to do something that's good for me. I wake up feeling better. I have more energy. And you know, small actions like that can have big benefits, like how taking care of your gut can support whole body health. Well, Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic benefits your gut, skin, and heart health in just two little capsules a day. Now I've been using Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic and it's great. My skin feels better. I feel better. It's just good.

So trust your gut with Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic. Go to seed.com slash handsome and use code 25handsome to get 25% off your first month. That's 25% off your first month of Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic at seed.com slash handsome code 25handsome. I love the show hacks and it is back baby for season three. That's right. We are going to see what kind of antics Deborah Vance is up to this season. She is such a treat to watch because who doesn't love Jean Smart? She is so freaking talented.

Now, season two left off with Ava being fired. If you haven't watched any of Hacks, guess what? It's on Max. You can catch up and I highly recommend that you do so before season three starts. There is also an official Hacks podcast. In each episode, Hacks creators Lucia Agnello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky speak with cast and crew members to unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. So check out that podcast, but watch hacks streaming exclusively on max and listen to the official hacks podcast on max or wherever you get your podcast.

Sometimes they'll have them on like a sets. Cause it's an easy, like we'll like pick me up. Right. A little low and it's small. Like it's, it's like eating a sandwich, but a little bit less it's small like it's it's like eating a sandwich but a little bit less than a full sandwich because there's no crust i eat a lot of peanut butter

and um parv said that when she was on survivor she it was really weird like for some reason that's the one you're starving on a beach and people became obsessed with peanut butter like your your mind just goes to like high calorie kind of like it knows what it needs like protein like a thick something thick in your mouth in your mouth fortune yeah guys you need you really when you're on a beach and you're trying to survive you really need something thick in your mouth fortune marie i don't know i could not do that. I could not do survive. Have something thick in your mouth? That. And I couldn't do survivor.

Why? Trying to survive in the wilderness or wherever the freak they are? Uh-uh. Trying to survive? And then you're doing challenges. It's not enough just to be miserable and cold and thirsty and hungry. But now you have to have challenges. And now people are trying to

like backstab you i know i would be like what are we doing you'd get yeah i have like an existential day two you'd be like what are we all doing 100 yeah we need to build a raft and head home even though i was a girl scout i'm not much of a survivalist I can't believe how much you talk about your Girl Scout days it is so insane you're like the baseball player that won't let the glory days go I'm really proud of that time of my life I mean truly like I I you know what is so crazy I was I told you I was on the brownies I have a picture of myself on the brownies in a frame I made in the brownies. Wait, talk about not letting the glory days start. You're like, thank you.

Yeah, this one. I can't believe you brought up Girl Scouts again. Here is my homemade brownie photo. That's Tig as a brownie. You got to post that, tig that is so cute for those of you watching via youtube that's a real treat and this is how old it is this is an old like beer can to hang it up yeah the frame is the girl scout symbol wait here is also a picture let me just go through my childhood here yeah this is a picture of me on the very end,

like all of the cute girls in my class that we're having a sleepover. I'm sticking my tongue out. There you are in a little T-shirt. Yeah, you look like a badass. That's awesome. You had a cigarette in one hand. What did your T-shirt say to none of your business thomas it says uh love you blue love you blue yeah that was the like blues clues no no hank williams song

No, no. Is it some Hank Williams song? No, it's from... God forbid it be a child thing like Blue's Clothes. No! It's Houston... Hank Williams! Houston Oilers. That was the football team in Houston.

And that was their, whatever, saying... Love you, Blue. And they sang it to the Beatles song, Love Me Do. Love, love you, Blue you blue yeah that's cool i'm still not over the fact that you dragged me for my girl scouts and you just popped up a gallery homemade girl scout frame how dare you bring this up again listen i don't have a problem with you bringing it up again i just can't believe how much it comes up. I know.

I clearly have talked a lot about my Girl Scout days because the Girl Scouts. Here they go again. They reached out to me. They did? Gave me a swag bag of Girl Scout goods. Are you serious? Yeah. The organization came to, people from the organization came to one of my shows and dropped off a bunch of girls.

Because of this show? No, I talk about, um, On other shows, you still talking about it? On my special Sweet and Salty, I do a whole Girl Scout bit.

Oh my God. Fortune Marie. Because my brothers were in the Boy Scouts. I was, and I talked about how they would get dropped off. Here she goes again. On the top of a mountain with like an egg and a match. And I was like, I was trying to start massage trains where we would massage each other's shoulders.

What do you do with an egg and a match? Exactly. You just use the egg to like light it is that right like you like use the egg i don't know my brothers were always like packing for their camping trips with like hiking boots and like protein bars and like you know and i'm just like mom where's my stuffed animal where's the lotion for the massage? Two very different vibes.

Anyway. Those are what I like to call the glory days. Awesome song by Bruce Springsteen. Did you ever see that Bruce Springsteen special that he did a few years ago where he would tell stories between the songs and oh his what his broadway yeah yeah it was so supposed to be incredible yeah i was wanting to go out there for the the live broadway show but it didn't line up with my schedule he's so hot oh my god 70s bruce springsteen you know you can? You don't get better than that. There is nothing hotter than 70s Bruce Springsteen.

Like 1970s or him in the 70s? In the 1970s. What are you talking about? Him in his 70s? 70s Bruce Springsteen. Oh my God. Have you seen him at age 71? Yes.

Oh my God. Have you seen 79-year-old Bruce Springsteen? How old is he? I don't know. It must be in his 70s. I'm going to Google it. I would guess he is 70. He's 74. 74.

Never looked better. No, he did look better in the 70s. We already went over that. I'm into the 70s. In the 70s. In the 90s. I have a vintage 1983 to 84 Bruce Springsteen born to run, not born to run, born in the USA t-shirt. Like Courtney Cox in his video? That's what I was going to bring up.

Courtney Cox in that video, that like tricked me into thinking that if you went to any concert and you were just like charming enough, someone would bring you up. You could just get on stage, end up in a video. Yeah. Dancing. any concert and you were just like charming enough someone would bring you up yeah yeah end up in a video yeah dancing god that's good fortune wow do i look like courtney cox yes but also you know who dances like that is uh the go-go's oh yeah yeah when you see their um their song vacation the go-go song oh sing it oh my god walk like a vacation yeah that's the bangles which i'm very curious if the bangles called themselves the bangles in response to the beatles like beat and bang oh bang i never thought about that never did

either and also the lead singer of the bangles plays a rickenbacker which is what john lennon played oh no way yeah i just bought two guitars oh yeah do you know how to play guitar fortune i know how to play four chords and you can play a lot of songs with four chords i taught myself like eight chords in college and then you lost four and then i've over the years lost four of them they might come back to me if i have but i don't have a guitar right now and i learned how to play some songs And the big one I learned in college was leaving on a jet plane. Oh, yeah. And I would sit in the breezeway of the dorm.

I probably drove people crazy. And I would be like, all my bags are packed. I'm ready to go. And you didn't know you were gay yet. I know. I'm standing there outside your door. Hopefully some hot guy will hear me singing. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.

So kiss me. I would sing this for hours. I love John Denver. Was this around the time Armageddon came out? The movie Armageddon featured that song. Armageddon I don't think had come out yet. So I don't know how I got Peter, Paul, and Mary in my head. Oh, Peter, Paul, and Mary version.

Okay, I was thinking John Denver. No, I mean, I like the John Denver too, but I like the more folksy version. And just hours and hours of playing the song. How someone didn't come outside and been like, shut the F up. i don't know and smash that guitar and but i was doing it in my like girly voice so kiss me i'm small for me i'll be well i'll tell you why no one told you to shut up is because they were all looking out of the window laughing their faces off at this nerd out there.

So, yeah, that was... And then I took my... When I moved to Spain for a year, I was like, I'm going to take my guitar and become an amazing guitar player. And all it was was just like a difficult thing to travel with. I never played it.

Did you bring your guitar with you on the Sound of Music tour that you went on with not i'm like why am i bringing a giant guitar to spain this is crazy you're nuts fortune marie should we hear our uh our question today yeah so our question is from craig robinson uh he's an actor and comedian known for portraying daryl on the office as well as movies like pineapple express hot tub time machine and the bad guys uh he stars and produces uh in the peacock series killing it which has been doing super well uh and people really love it he's so funny i saw him at an event at the improv so i wanted to ask him a question. That show Killing It is like on all the kind of cool lists

of like what's the funniest show right now. It's on all those lists. I can't, I gotta watch it. It looks amazing. He's such a talented actor, but he's also an amazing musician. Really? He's a big piano player.

Yeah. Can play like any song. Like he's one of those guys where you're like play such and such and he knows it i was at a party once it was like me and wanda sykes and a bunch of our friends you and wanda and these parties i know and he we just there was a piano and he sat down and it was literally like 25 lesbians and craig robinson and him just serenading and he just started playing songs and we all gathered around him did you just say we all gathered around him gathered around craig but did you really just say this yes that is so incredible and we started belting out these songs

and he would go from song to song to song for like two hours. What were the songs that you and the fellas were requesting? Honestly, I don't remember. Probably a lot of like classics, like old school songs. Like,

Santa prep for you. That kind of stuff. Leaving on a jet plane would be a good sing-along. Mm-hmm. If you're really into the Peter, Paul, and Mary tunes. Or John Denver.

Or Chantal Kravetsik, the Canadian singer. Oh, I don't know her. I saw her at a party recently, and I went up to her so excited that I think she thought I was like making fun of her. What?

Because I was like, oh my God, Chantal Kravjic. I was like, you're like my favorite. You're the voice of my team. She was like, all right.

Is there a hit song that I would know that's crossed the border? And you can fuck. Are you saying fuck? See what I, you sound like. Are you trying to trying i'm sold what album is that picture this person going into the record label and being like okay that's what i got for you i'm gonna really elongate this word get ready that song's called in this life i believe i don't think i know this

in this life oh my god you're gonna be a big sack kid it was an era where like her music would pop up a lot on like dawson's creek soundtrack oh yeah a regular old sarah mclaughlin exactly exactly i love it when we bring our american and canadian childhoods together me too to learn and grow it's a beautiful thing to learn and grow we're learning and growing and growing and learn well let's hear craig's question hey handsome this is craig robinson my question what is your response to this if i've been asked this once i have been asked this a million times come up with some an original i mean what a hack i just love that i was like you can ask us anything and he's like okay

at first i thought it was the mcdonald's the mcdonald's yeah i'm loving it you don't know this no no but you love everything mcdonald's stands for you've never heard of that commercial i mean i've heard i'm loving it but i don't know i don't know the yeah there's that song their big jingle is never heard it in my life wow but then he really went i mean that was a confident scat would you say is that i would say yeah that's a scat it wasn't a shy scat no very confident scat yeah like i would say overly confident scat do you think we should hear it again yeah no okay fine let's hear it again we've never double played a

scat i think this warrants it we've also never not known what to do with a question let's hear it what is your response to this I'm loving it Oh, I think I would say Nice I couldn't agree more Well, except I would add in. A sabbity-boo-boo-pee-boo-boo-boo. A da-da-da-da-pa-pa-boo-boo.

A boo-boo. A boo-boo-boo-boo. A doo-dee-doo-doo-doo-dee-dee-dee. Ha! Yeah! May, what about you? I agree with everything you guys are saying, but I would add. Skiddly-diddly-ba-ba-ba-ba-shaboo-wood.

Skiddly-diddly-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-ba-da. Yes, I forgot skiddly-dly bop bop bop but shaboo skiddly diddly diddy beep bada yes i forgot skiddly do beep bops in there yeah and then you take it down that and the yeah that's what yeah while you're being handed a cocktail i feel like there used to be more in like in music in the 50s there was a lot more kind of nonsense like a lot of like bebop balooba cheese mom face like now you don't hear as much bebop balooba well that's

that's yeah that's a country song uh what's the one from Greece you know clang clang clangity clang shabob that's the wayang shabob like was everyone a nerd back then that they were a million percent yeah like these were the cool kids being like clang clang and everyone was like cool man Yeah, where did that go? I know.

Or who put the bop in the bop-shoe-bop-shoe-bop? Who put the bang in the bang-a-bang-a-ding-dong? Who put the rum in the rum-a-rum-a-rum? Fortune! I like to shake his hand he made my baby fall in love with me or you had Sharon Lois and Brown

Skinny Marinky Dinky Skinny Marinky Dinky did I talk about it on this oh yeah I did like in the 50s or whatever when songs were like Johnny I love that Johnny Bebopaloo And it's like, Johnny, be-bop-a-loo.

And there's like the story that the song tells of like the bad boy that the parents don't. Vroom, vroom. Yeah. Johnny! I want to hear like Phoebe Bridgers be like, be-bop-a-loo, sha-doo-ba-ba. What about Billie Eilish?

Yeah, Billie Eilish doing a little scene at the beginning too yeah johnny johnny like that that was good that was your billy eilish what about what's her name swifty if she did it it would put it back in the zeitgeist and there'd be a lot more bebopaluba there is no room in the zeitgeist for anything other than Taylor Swift right now. I know. It really is dominating. Though you mentioned Phoebe Bridgers, people really love Boy Genius, but now they're taking a hiatus.

Oh, yeah. I saw that. Yeah. Maybe they're just building a little bit of hype so that when they come back for the inevitable. I know. They want to more. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's going to happen. Makes us want them more. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what's going to happen when we go on hiatus. Yeah. What are people going to do without us? Wait, are we going on hiatus? Well, I mean, we want to make the people want more. Right? What if there are riots? We're going to hiatus for a week.

You guys aren't going to hear us until next Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah. What will people do? I don't know. I don't think it's really our problem to worry about. You're right. They've got to fill their time, however.

Yeah. They could listen to Who put the bop in the bop-shoe-bop-shoe-bop? Who put the ram in the ding-a-ding-a-dong? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong? Oh, my God. You know what would be so fun is if somebody, maybe if one of our listeners would put together a song

that connects all of those old type of noises and words. Oh, that would be good. Or I was thinking if they took us in this episode doing all our different bits. Ding-a-dee-ding-a-dong. And, like, remix them. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, you guys seem pretty musical tig so do you drums and you know a lot of music knowledge may plays guitar and sings do you think start a band no you sing don't you take terribly really but you're a drummer right and i play a bit of guitar a little bit of guitar now may you're but you may you go on stage and play con like shows right i've never done like a music show but at largo i sometimes do like uh with the musical guest i'll do a song with them but i'm putting an album out this year you are yeah like a wow like a serious earnest album that is so i shouldn't be saying this but it is so mediocre but i just don't care because i i truly just did it for me and it was so fun

i think probably people who are like into me will be like oh this is cool if a musician listens to it they'll be like this is so mediocre oh i bet it's great it's like fine i'm i'm truly like oh i have yeah but i'm excited about it but what are you getting at fortune you think we should start a band i was saying with boy genius going on hiatus like we needed to fill that void yeah there's a niche to fill yeah well fortune do you play piano put our little suits on get out there um no i don't but thomas does you do thomas really we have a piano player but fortune you're the voice like come on you're you're saying i do sing like an angel and then may you're gonna play guitar i'll play drums i mean i feel like that is a band that is that would be so fun wait take for for our next live show, can you bring a drum kit?

Yeah. Thomas plays piano. I bring my guitar. Fortune sings. We've got to do this. Yeah. I'm serious. You would sing, too.

You could harmonize with Fortune. I could harmonize, yeah. I bet Thomas sings and can harmonize. Fortune can whore herself. I bet Thomas can whore himself into singing. What song would we sing? Yeah. Well, I think it has to be one of the songs in our

episodes that we've mentioned. Yeah. Like, Come to My Window for sure. That would be good. Thomas, you know how to play that on piano? I can learn. I've already got the vocals down. We know this. Oh, Leaving on a Jet Plane? I can learn. That's got to be just- I've already got the vocals down. We know this.

Oh, leaving on a jet plane? Oh my God. Come to my window. Fortune, are you okay? Okay, we got to do this. So kiss me. Oh my gosh. Smile for me.

That one. There is harmony in that, Mae. I could do it right now in the harmonies. I'm leaving on a jet plane. that one there is harmony in that may so i could do it right now in the harmonies we don't want to give it away we got yeah we don't want to scare people off not give it away you don't want to give away the milk for free this is gonna be an album i feel like they have a drum set maybe at dynasty i've seen one at dynasty too you're right yeah so i feel like we can just show up and then rock the house bang a drummer no rehearsal just no rehearsal this could be painful this would be one of those things where it's like funny for us and the audience

is like boy genius is like don't ever do that again boy genius is in the audience yeah yeah boy no boy genius just hears about it and it's like hey don't do that ever again please don't ever compare us so leave it on a jet plane come to my window come to my window what's another oh uh closer to fine closer to fine wait what about from in the beginning i'm trying to tell you something about my life like jimmy buffett or one of those old oh yeah like uh uh hamburger cheeseburger in paradise you don't have to tell me twice but may didn't know any of the songs i'm gonna have to learn that one. I like mine with... Let's not do this again. Tons of seven of french fries, potatoes. Because I'm thinking about that cold last week.

What about Grandma Got Run Over by Reindeer? Yes, yes. I wish that I could just pause time in life. If I could just pause time and the three of us had like a week, everyone else is frozen, you know, our lives are frozen and we just have a week to like, to get better at music.

Practice songs, hang out. No, guys. That's what you would, that's what you would do. If I could freeze time, I would practice grandma got run over by a reindeer. That was humiliating I just said I would pause time to hang out with you guys

For a week and you guys were like Anyway It just seems like such a super power Hard pass You're like a week Yeah That's what you've chosen With you two

God no That's why you've chosen the superpower. God, no. But he's like, never mind. I was joking. I was just testing you guys. I'm literally going to be able to stop time. And just sing with you two. No, but we'll freeze our lives it's just us three and nothing will be lost yeah i think i'll be busy fortune what about you no man

no one showed up to band practice for a week. Oh my God. Mae's just pacing around the studio waiting. God bless Mae. This is how you're going to use that ginormous superpower. And even though you guys are not frozen and the rest of the world is frozen, you're still not choosing to hang out

with the only other un-frozen. I'm finally ordering dining room chairs this is ah this is humiliating okay it's going to be so great oh my god i can't like i really thought you guys were gonna be on board with me i truly thought you guys were going to be on board with me here. I truly thought you guys were going to be like, finally. We were like, yeah, we're going to get so good. I was truly in my mind thinking, why? I truly was like, finally, seven days of uninterrupted hangout time with these two. And I'm thinking, what could we solve in the world? Why would we do that? While time has stopped for seven days.

Thomas, are you down? Yeah, for sure. Okay, me and Thomas hanging out seven days straight. Let's stop time together, Mae. Y'all are going to have one heck of an album. I will have solved some world issues. Fortune and I are just going to be back out in the world, sitting in traffic and doing all the stuff

that we would have preferred to do over spending a week with Mae, singing Peter, Paul, and Mary songs. You're like, again, we're like, oh my God, how many times are we going to sing this song? We got time, guys. But guys, we have seven and six and a half more days. Literally nothing else going on and our loved ones aren't bugging us to come home.

Should we share a bed wouldn't that be nice guys i'm making pancakes god bless may god bless buns i would love it well let's hear what um cra Craig had to say. Very curious to hear, actually, what Craig said. I would go. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba.

Oh. See? That makes sense. He went really high and then low. Yeah. I think he just kind of wanted to show his range. That final note was sort of sexy. It was like a little like.

He kind of was competing with Tig's pod. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. People do ask who is that deep voice on the Handsome Pod song, and it is Tiz I. i was about to say it was tis you gather round tis tig tis tis i tis i pod he was in that vein it does make me want to have another gathering and invite craig okay so you're hanging out with Craig and practicing music, but you don't want to hang out for seven days with me?

Let me be clear. One party, one night. Okay. Everyone go home. I'm definitely the person that's like, okay, I'm starting to clean things up. While people are still, you know. Letting people know it's time to go.

See, when I'm cleaning up, that does not indicate that it means it's time to go. See, when I'm cleaning up, that does not indicate that it means it's time to go. Really? No, no, not at all. Oh, you're just trying to be clean? I just like to, I'm the kind of person where in the kitchen with cooking, I immediately clean up after myself.

And as soon as people finish eating at the dining room table, I start clearing the plates. But I always say, like, I'm not rushing you. I'm just clearing the plates. Yeah. It's always kind of stressful. Can anyone relate to this? On Christmas, when you're opening presents with your family, and someone starts aggressively cleaning up all the wrapping paper and tissue.

I do that. You do? And, like, shoving it into a plastic bag. And you're like, okay, I guess this is over yeah yeah no Stephanie and I are both exactly the same and we always crack up because if we have people over for dinner the entire house is clean and dishes are done and everything is in place food is in the refrigerator leftovers are in the refrigerator and we laugh because as soon as somebody walks out the door we just turn the light off and go up oh wow because you're you clean it while they're still there yeah that's

so funny yeah and every time we die laughing because truly the whole house is in order that's why and there's not a sign that there was anybody over for dinner they walk out the door we shut it lights are off and we set the alarm and we go what are you gonna do if when they're if when they're teenagers max and finn are messy. Little dirty birds. I guess you can let them have their bedrooms. There's something important, I think, about having autonomy over your room when you're a teenager. So maybe they can be filthy in their rooms.

Yeah, well, I mean, Finn already has the cleaning bug. Oh, he's into it? And he goes in and organizes Max's room. But they're also at an age now where they're shutting their bedroom door when they go in there. And then they have little signs that they've now put on their doors that say, do not enter. And then if you do, you have to sign your name in. Oh, my God. That's wicked.

You can't casually go into Max and Finnn's bedrooms anymore wow unless you sign in and sign out apply for a pass via a complicated app system true it truly is how do they know that you're signing in do you be like i'm signing no you have to wait till they give the okay you know okay yeah and then you when they agree to let you in then you have to sign the uh the little stick it note yeah yeah okay so it's looking like they're not going to be sloppy teens they're going to be well max you know i don't max is um you know when you tell him to clean his room everything's shoved under his bed and behind a chair and on the closet floor and assumes

you'll never notice that when you go in to inspect his work that's what I was yeah I was really messy as a teenager how'd we get onto this? because of it lets us have a ban of a shooby doo doo doo

that naturally leads you it lets us have a band what's the name of our band? handsome? I guess it's handsome or the pretty little ladies handsome the band like man genius instead of boy genius pretty little lady geniuses? Yeah.

Have you heard about this scientist made a discovery about diarrhea? Turns out it's in your genes. Oh, okay. You like that? Good one. Good one. Max and Finn might like that.

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? What? One is $1.99 and the other one is under a buck. Oh, boy. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Okay.

I have one that's not as quick. Let's hear it. It's my favorite joke. This couple is in bed, middle of the night, completely asleep. Somebody knocks on their door. It's like 2 or 3 in the morning. And the husband gets out of bed. Yes, this is a hetero joke.

Okay, still on board. Husband gets out of bed, goes to the door, comes back to bed. And his wife said, who was that? And he said, I just, it was a stranger. And she said, what did they want? And he said, they were asking me if I'd give them a push. And she was like, and what did you say? And he said, well, I said, no. And she said, well, why'd you say no? I mean, imagine if we needed something and we needed a push in the middle of the night. And he was like, okay. So he gets up, gets dressed, he goes to the door, opens the door and he yells into the darkness. Hey, are you still out there?

And the guy's like, yeah. And he said, do you still need a push and he said yeah and he goes where are you and he said i'm over here on the swing good one oh come on that is good i love the long setup too. It's like, yeah, that's really good. It's so good. It's my favorite joke. You hear about the multi-story parking lot? It's just wrong on so many levels. Okay. I don't think I set that up properly.

That's one that needed a longer narrative. Well, have I told you max's joke no why the chicken crossed the road oh wait this rings a bell yeah let's hear it let's hear it again to take a two-hour dump that's my kind of joke tell them the diarrhea joke i think that's my audience well they'd have to know what genes are oh that's true yeah yeah okay so today explain genetics to them yeah can you go through that and then in like three days you can hit them okay okay well this was a delightful episode and it feels like we've reached the end is how i feel i feel like there's a natural ending here yeah all right well you know i'm on the last leg of my live laugh love tour this coming weekend i'm doing a big show in los angeles it's my only hour show i'm doing in la at the theater at the ace

hotel and then going to san luis obispo albany New York, Hartford, Connecticut, New York City at the Beacon, Bakersfield, California, and Rancho Mirage, California. Then ending it with filming my special in Seattle and then Toronto in May. So go to fortunefemester.com if you want to come see a show. Awesome. And also make sure to check out my new standup special on Amazon called hello again, and maybe get a little gaggle of, uh, pretty little ladies and handsome faces to, to watch.

That'll be fun. Right. And then I'll also be able to be found around Los Angeles working on new material at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. So go to tignotaro.com for ticket and show information. I'm planning on freezing time for a week and just watching your special over and over. Yeah, good.

I am at Largo on March 26th with Brett Goldstein and other special guests. And then, yeah. Oh, check out my Instagram. I'm always doing improv at the Elysian and Dynasty and Largo. And mainly, just thanks so much for listening to the pod and telling your pals. Subscribe. And coming out to the shows. Yeah, subscribe, please.

Make sure you subscribe. You know, people are like, don't stop doing this show. I love it so much. The way to keep us is to click subscribe and grow the audience. Tell your friends, send them an episode, get some merch. Yeah, it all helps. Yeah, rock those handsome t-shirts. Yeah, a little cowboy, all of it.

I want to see all the merch of my shows. I do. i love seeing it yeah it's really fun yeah and until then yeah all that remains is to keep it handsome handsome is hosted by me tignotaro may martin and fortunester. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail dot com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod.

What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!