Handsome - Jackie Kashian asks about handsome superheroes

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

Hilarious stand up Jackie Kashian makes us laugh *hard* with her question on a superhuman Handsome! Plus "business goose", Fortune LLC, figuring out bra sizes, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTube and HuluThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Then auto renews at $59 a month. A six-month membership commitment is required to keep your first cleaning free. Handsome pot. Chatting the friends on the handsome pot. Cheers. What was that? Welcome to the Hatsypods. I'm Fortune Feemster. I'm Mae Martin.

And I am Tignotaro. Yes, you are. And we're together, you guys, in the same room. I sure are, and you're singing our song of our in the same room song. Yeah, we're in the same room. Together again. Get out your broom. Did you know what they call a witch's garage?

A broom closet. Oh, nice. So as you can see, I'm back in a big way. Well, it is October, the month of Halloween. Spooky month, yeah. You know, I was pointing out different words to my sons that are really funny when you think about what they were named. Yeah. And that's what broom closet.

It didn't kind of fits. But a fireplace. That is a fireplace. place for your fire. That's really good. Yeah. Make no mistake. This place is where your fire goes.

It's your fireplace. Yeah. What's another thing like that? Broom closet. Yeah. I mean, it kind of works. But you see where. Yeah.

I'm trying, now I'm going to be trying to think of them. That's my... You're not going to try to think of any. You've moved on already. Not one. You know, there's probably many, but I just remember looking at a fireplace once and being like, that is, So funny. Yeah.

That is. A penguin in Japanese, penguin translates to business goose. Oh, I love a business goose. Don't Google it. I might be wrong. I'm pretty sure that. If it's not that, it should be. Isn't that good?

Business goose. Yeah. If we start a company. Oh, business goose. Business goose. The logos of penguin. And the logo is three little penguins. Aw.

Look at us. No, there's not a single penguin. Yeah, okay. Yeah. It's a goose for the brief. briefcase. Yeah. I love that. Oh, yeah. Well, that we'll figure it out. We'll figure it. We'll get at a workshop of it. We have time. We are an LLC. We just need to change our name. Are we? Are we a handsome? We are. Is a company? You are a company. Fortune's on top of that. You're the business mind of the trio. Yeah. Yeah. You guys don't worry. I got us. Yeah. Thanks, dude. So if Fortune's the business mind, what are you, you're like the The sort of anxious slut.

Did you say anxious slut? That came from the heart. That came from the heart. That's how I had done. You're an anxious slut. Okay, an anxious slut. There's another t-shirt. Always happened.

I'm an anxious slut. Nobody wants a t-shirt that says, I'm the business mind. They want the anxious. Also, I love that a slut, I love that somebody is so anxious could be a Yeah. Like you would think that that would stop the whole process.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And their sluttiness makes them more anxious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They have they're going to call me back. Yeah. Yeah. I shouldn't have been slutting around so much. I have regret. But then the way they ease their anxiety is just slut around some more. That's right. It's a cycle.

Yeah. Yeah. A vicious cycle. So what am I? Yeah. What am I? Um, I'm not an anxious slug. No.

I am not the business mind. but I am You're an easy rider, easy cowboy, easy, easy, um, easy Tig. Easy Tig. Here's the thing, is my friend when I was little, not too little. I was in seventh grade and, uh, I told you about my friend maybe, John, he, um, was a drummer, he passed away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, he would talk about me all the time when we first met in seventh grade. And he'd be like, yeah, Tig and I are going to go here and we're doing this. And his mom goes, Tig, huh? You mean easy tig? And she goes, every school's got one. At mine, it was easy Susan. No.

And John was like, mom. You don't understand. She thought you were an anxious slap. Yeah, she thought it was an anxious slap because I was the only girl running around with all the little rock and roll guys. That's funny. And so, and I remember to this day that Barbara's, his mom Barbara's, the girl at her school was Easy Susan. Easy Susan. Easy Susan makes sense to me. It sounds like Lazy Susan. Not easy TIG. Not easy TIG doesn't roll off the tongue as much as

Easy Susan. Yeah. You know like when you put subtitles on the video or the or AI does it automatically. So someone posted, and it's very in keeping with this, they screenshot it like, How'd you know there was a phone under that pillow? You just found a phone. I put it there. They screen shotted so an episode of Handsome. I guess the video, AI had done the subtitles. But they got our names wrong. Oh, what is it? What is it?

What they thought they were. It said, hi, I'm mate Wharton. Mate Wharton. And you went, I'm Chick Notaro. And then, fortunate, you go, oh, you guys, I'm fortunate beam, I'm fortunate Beamster. Fortunate Beamster. Fortunate. Fortunate Beamster.

Beamster is one of my favorite cheeses. Yeah, me too. It's a, they have an age Gouda that's delish. It's got these little salt crystals. Oh, yeah, Beamster. Quit trying to get off topic. Sorry. I am Chick Nataro.

But why did they get Notaro right and not, that honestly doesn't make any sense. Maybe we mumbled more. Yeah, I definitely mumble. Mumble jumble. Yeah. I'm a mumbler. I'm a, um, drawler.

Am I? Yeah, drawler. Yeah. I don't feel like easy. TIG fit since you're anxious slut. There's too much of a crossover. And we would have hooked up by now. Yeah.

Oh my God. You're right. Easy Tate anxious slut. That's the perfect combo. Over and over and over again. Nobody's scissering on the handsome pod. Fortune Marine. We're just chatting with friends.

Wouldn't that blow your mind if you found out May and I had been. I would not know how to process that. And that's why I'm so anxious all the time because I'm having to keep it a secret. Also, we're having to keep it a secret. Also, we're having to. having trouble in our relationship. Yeah. And we bring it to you and we're like,

this has been happening for two and a half years. That would be a mind-boggling situation for me. Would you help us work through it or would you say this is... Good question. I would. For the sake of the pod. Yeah. Not for the sake of us as people.

Not for our LLC. But for our LLC. Classic business minds. Classist mindset. Yeah. Yeah. You guys, we can't let down the LLC. And classic anxious slut is like, well, would you help us work

I don't want this to end. I would sit us all down and we would have, yeah, I would mediate. Yeah. And I would say, you guys, I don't think this relationship's worth pursuing in the way that you guys are doing. Yes, it is. Hey, you're married. But easy to be like, whatever, either way, you'd be like, I'm fine either way. Okay, so easy tig, is it more of like my chillness rather than my sluttiness?

Yeah, it's like like easy rider, cowboy style. I see. Okay. Take it easy. Easy. Easy. Yeah. Well, how are you guys? Good. Yeah.

I had my first therapy appointment today. Yeah, you did. Well, you guys. Good for you. Was it our last? Wait, first ever? In your life? No, no.

I went to therapy for like three years. Straight. Yeah, three years straight. That was about like 12 years ago when I realized I had to work through some childhood issues. Yeah. And then I went to, during the end. of my marriage couple therapy and then also started

individual therapy at that point as well I did that for a bit and then that just sort of subsided you got fixed yeah you were fixed and then once I started crying on the pod several times you both gently went maybe

maybe it's time for therapy we say this with love listen keep crying on the pod text yeah there were I know I knew it was all done out of love there was nothing about it other than y'all were like seeing a friend we're just like you're doing with a lot you've got a lot on your place it's such I think I mean hopefully is it your same therapist from no this is a new one I just wanted to yeah change it up did you feel lighter

after the first one's always you got to do your whole life story yeah you're getting a whole bunch out so I feel like the first couple actually will just be like getting to a baseline yeah and then I feel like the real stuff starts. So the first couple will be, I think, just more like, this abend and this a bit going on. I wouldn't do it like that. Not like a robot?

Okay. Here it's what went wrong and I feel hurt. This is what happened to me. And this is why I'm crying all the time. Also, I want to make it clear. Our encouragement around therapy does not mean that this is not a safe place for you to have some feelings. Oh yeah. No, I didn't think

that at all. No, you guys were just like, you know, there are things that I can't talk about. We've talked about that in the last pod to everyone at the moment of what's going on with me. But I obviously confided my friends. And there was just a long list of things happening that you guys, and that I would also recommend to any of my friends that I would be like, yeah, this is a lot. You might need some. Also, that long list, we put on the list.

That's right. Yeah. We put on the list. That's right. Yeah. So, yeah, I was happy to start. that that sorry I'm so sorry to interrupt I know you're talking about important things but that non-alcoholic beer says easy does it on the side

easy does do it take grab this non-acolic beer out of the fridge yeah this is not an ad no I just it's not an ad I thought it would be funny um to have a non-alcoholic beer and then I forgot to have it yeah it is called easy does it don't touch it there's a hair on it so has a ponytail it looks like my hair but I didn't get anywhere near that That's good. It has a ponytail. Do you like non-alcoholic beer? Well, I don't drink.

Yeah, true. And sometimes I like a beer flavor with... Yeah, with the burgers. Well, vegan burger. Yeah, you know, with your burger. You know, with your bacon cheese. And, of course, being... Like I'm going to last now.

Yeah. I mean, of course, it's easy to. You've walked that back. Yeah, sorry. I'd like it with certain, like, I love beer with Asian food. Oh, yeah. Love it. Yeah.

Yeah, with the curry even. I don't like beer. I'm not a beer gal. Really? Yeah. Okay, well, I'm just, I'm just piping in. Yeah. We're chat with friends.

Yeah, we're chat with friends on the handsome pod. Easy does it. Yeah. Business. Can we just call you LLC? Yes, LLC. What's how LLC? What's happening in the hands of biz today?

Yeah, that's good. Okay, so our new merch is anxious slut, LLC, and easy tick. And every trio of friends has one. It's like, yeah, the spice girl. Every trio of friends has an LLC. Someone that's capitalizing on the friendship. You got yourself in a therapy to keep the podcast going. That's right, yeah.

Okay. Are you in town for a while now? No. What about me? Sorry. You too. Are you here? Tager, are you also in town?

I'm, um... You go first. My next two months are pretty busy because I'm filming my special. Oh, yeah. In mid-November. Um, so... Where are you filming it? Uh, in Denver.

Oh, you told me that. The Paramount. Awesome. Um, so I'm kind of hitting the road hard for a bit. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. So, I'm out of town again for shows. But then I'm home all next week.

Oh, that's good. Yeah. I want to hear about that your next. Oh yeah, you had a medical discovery. Right before we started recording. But I'm also Oh yeah, are you in town? Let's hear about it.

I'm not. Oh, you're out of time too. I'm going on a vacation with my family. Oh, where are you going? Well, my family left today. They went to Buffalo, New York. I'm sorry your family left. Yeah.

You've seen remarkably. I'm handling it pretty well. Easy take. Yeah. I'll call LLC and cry to her later. but it's tomorrow is the Buffalo Bills first home game and Stephanie. She's a huge fan. Oh, I don't know if you understand.

No, I knew she was like a crazy buffalo bills fan. She's a big Buffalo Bills fan and it now runs in the family. So Max and Finn are like, what a team. Don't they break your heart all the time? If I were deeply invested. So you're like a long-to-ride. I'm just, I eat chips. So up the vibe.

Yeah. Like I'm sitting there. Wait, are you all one of those fans that like help shovel the snow out of the stadium? Again. Like, I think I know more about the beach. I have never, I've never been to a Buffalo Bills game. Oh, okay. Gotcha.

But also my sons are big Buffalo Bison fans. What's that? Bisons. It's the minor league baseball team in Buffalo. So. we're going to that as well. So we're going to the first home game of the Buffalo Bills tomorrow night.

They're playing Detroit. Okay. And then we're going to the minor league baseball game. And Stephanie just sent me a video that I'll have to show you after. She said the whole plane to Buffalo was just full of crazy Buffalo Bill fans. Oh my God.

And she said, Max, yelled, go Buffalo. And then the whole play would go Buffalo. Oh, my mama. No way. Yeah. That's going to be a core memory. And here's something made me tear up when I saw it. Aw.

Because I was like, this is, Stephanie lived there as a kid. Yeah. And she's so, her whole family, they're so in deep with the Buffalo Bills. And the fact that we're bringing them to where she, you know, partly grew up and go see her house and her school and where she played softball and basketball. Oh, man. And then go see these teams. And they're like all in on Buffalo. That's the dream of having kids that they are just into what your life and what you're into and like care.

Like that's so great. Don't you care about evil can evil? Are you going to show them Niagara? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah.

We have anything you can possibly do in Buffalo, New York. You're doing it. Yeah. Oh, man. No chicken wings, though. That's not for your family. No, but Stephanie and I, I think we went to Buffalo together. Yes.

And we had vegan buffalo wings. Oh, yeah? Okay. There you go. Yeah, nice. I can't believe a whole baseball theme vacation. That's wild. And baseball and football.

The bills are football. Oh. I couldn't know that. Buffalo bills are American football. Talking sports with the two of you. It's so funny to me. Okay. Okay.

And we probably look like, you know, we probably know a little something. We know a little something. We do not. Checking all. State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I set my alarm before I go to bed at night? Now my whole schedule is messed up. I woke up at 6 a.m. instead of 5.30 and I missed out on the most productive part of my day. Yeah, check-in first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential

savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. you my sleep, and that's why one of my favorite sponsors of Handsome is Blissie. When I go to sleep at night, I wanted to feel like a reward for my day, and Blissie's silk pillowcases are a big part of that pleasure. They're so luxurious that you'll wonder how you ever slept without them. They help your skin, your hair, and they're so much better than cotton or satin. Blissie uses high quality, 100% pure mulberry silk that's breathable, hydrating, hypoallergenic, and handsome. On top of all that, Blissies are fully machine washable. They're available in over 115 color.

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com slash handsome after you check out they'll ask where you heard about them please support our show tell them we sent you experience the new standard and comfort and support with honey love do you think the Buffalo Bills were pissed when Sons of the Lambs came out and that Buffalo Bill

Bill is the serial killer in that oh say I didn't know that yeah I'm up on my serial killer you do know about that yeah maybe they were like hey how dare you yeah yeah when you go to Niagara you could tell the boys about Charles Blonde and who tightroped across Niagara he was obsessed by it

and he kept having to up his the stakes because it yeah and then he took a because people he could just do it so easily and then he took a wheelbarrow with a tiger in it no that's someone who's not easily satisfied

not well in the head we are not here to judge but you know that'd be a tuck his young and how else was the tiger gonna get across water it'd be a tough person to be married to oh can you imagine

Like any of those like climbing guys Oh my God climbing guys No thank you Free climbing Yeah no no no no But I mean how awesome is it to watch? Very exciting Did you see free solo?

Yes insane Did you see that? Uh-huh But he must have a You didn't I did I did but I think rock climbing is crazy And then you add the like Not being hooked on anything

And I just think that's it's a recipe for disaster Yeah they have a death wish I don't know you did some rock climbing back in the day, right? No, I didn't do any rock climbing. Oh, for some reason. I lived in Colorado. I think it's just, in Colorado. That's like, it's like, it's like came out of the closet.

Everyone thought I was a vegetarian. It wasn't ever, but I became vegan, you know, a decade ago. I don't know why I felt that. Well, I did go bouldering once. Yeah, maybe that. I do that in Echo Park. Sometimes there's an indoor bouldering. Thanks.

Really? Ugh. The annoying thing is the guy. there who come up and give you unsolicited they're like yeah what you're gonna want to do is you know leverage you work there yeah no and just the scene like these guys and they're and

I didn't ask for it I just want to tinker around and they're like so wait you go to a bouldering place I've been like three times in Echo Park usually on dates dates yeah back in the terrible date for me really you'd be pissed someone's like we're going bouldering I was like

oh my god but what if you were so in what if it was like the like you were obsessed with this person yeah it was somebody that you had like had your eye on she finally gave you the time of day and was like i would be like let's go bowlering i'd go no then i guess i'd go no matter what but i wouldn't be happy by that yeah you'd mope well i guess i'll go no matter what i'm not going to be happy about this i would say great we'll do that and then well i'll bring a charcutory board for after bring it to the boulder place.

Those are snacks involved. I can get down with anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

In your little pouch where they have chalk for their hands, you could have a couple. Well, fun dip in there. I wonder if ever like pool sharks use their chalk like that. Like, you know, and like overdo it a little much. Do you think that they're still like a, you know, shooting pool used to be so popular back in the day. And so there were a lot of pool sharks. Do you think that's still a thing? Well, can I tell you something that will blow your mind?

Yeah. I dated a man who was a pool shark. Wait, what? Sorry. Wait, I didn't know you ever dated a man. Uh-huh. Like, briefly, briefly. I felt you like went on some dates with boys when you were like young, but you're saying man.

I mean. Like adults. You were an adult. I was, I was 18 and he was 23. I thought he was like 900. Yeah, it was like, whoa. And he was an actual, like, he would... Full blown.

And pull shark means like you kind of pretend you're okay and then you've aced. He was like, this is how he walked around a pool table. Go to Uhaul.com to watch this. But this is how he walked around the pool table. He had his... Whoa. Fast strike. And probably got it in, too, right?

Yeah. Well, unfortunately, I'll know if you're listening, but... He's a pool shark. Pool shark. Wow. I can see why you... Did you know that when you... Is that why you started dating him? No.

For that big wean. I refuse to be... I can help it. You can't help it. I really couldn't. You can. No, you can. Because like how often do you talk about... You are a grown...

Why you went out with a dude. Grown woman. There's more to men. I'll work on a therapy. Yeah, great, great, great. Anyway, I don't know if there's pool sharks still. Yeah, because I just feel like it's not as probably prevalent in bars. I mean, there's like a pool table.

Yeah, there must be still pool halls, but now we all know about pull sharks. Yeah, because there used to be pool halls. Yeah, that's a big thing. I don't know that's the thing anymore. I got asked to prom by a guy at my school. All right. But you already dropped out. Exactly.

Oh, wow. that would have been comfortable. They were seeking out easy ting. Yeah. I, I, yeah, I went to school with him.

Yeah. He was a dear friend. Yeah. Um, I had dropped out. Yeah. And he asked me to go to prom. I said,

no, but you can meet me at slick willies if you'd like. Like, after prom meet me at slick willies. And he did. Whoa. In his hugs? Yes.

And he was somebody, um, really liked you. He also sadly passed away. And he was, he kind of got weird fame. He lived in Austin. Uh-huh. And he was known as Larry, or Larry the leopard.

The cable guy. No. Larry the leopard? Yeah. His whole body, he was tattooed, head to toe like a leopard. Whoa. Oh. And he was.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think he was like maybe book of world record or something. Whoa. I don't know. But yeah. I, uh, I almost went. Huh?

What was his deal? What was his deal? What makes you do that? I think he maybe got into some drug stuff and maybe was without a home here and there. He was somebody, just the sweetest guy in the world. He was like full-blown nerdy nerd-nurd town. Yeah. And my friends and I sat with the nerd table in junior high school and were like,

these guys are awesome. Yeah. And then Larry kind of started to break out of his, like, kind of nerdy vibe. Yeah. And started partying a little bit. Yeah. Nothing more dangerous than an ex-nerd, like comes out of the gate. Is that how you identify? An anxious slut.

But ex-nerd, no, current nerd, I think. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I could see Larry wanting to be cool. and fit in, kind of like what you would hear a parent say, you don't have to do that to be cool. And then it really took a crazy turn.

Yeah. But the nicest, nicest guy. You want to get to my diagnosis? I'm dying. Since you said it, I'm like, what does this mean? Well, I just got back from the doctor. I have had a tremor in my hand for three years. Three years.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I never noticed it. Me neither. Persistent, like consistent or it just comes and goes? No, it's consistent, but it's sometimes more elevated than not. And I, you know, Googled myself to death. Not looking at your hand.

It's not trirmary. Well, it's in between my legs. It's in your couter right now. Fortune Marie. But I was scared I had Parkinson's. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And so that's why my family's gone and I'm here. because I could not let go of this doctor appointment. Yeah, yeah. And because it took months. I thought it was because of us. I can't miss the answer. But yeah, so she checked me out and I'm fine. I just have an essential tremor is what it's called.

And yeah, it's shaky paw, which is what Stephanie and I call it at the house. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, I'm having trouble with that. I have shaky paw. And, but like Catherine Hepburn had it, as I was telling you before the... Which I had no idea because famously, Catherine Hepburn had the kind of this voice. That's right. I did not know it was because of a tremor. And I think also she had shaky paw.

Yeah. But not everybody gets it in their voice. Yeah. And, but it was a huge relief. I mean, it's not great. It's not a blast to have the shaky paw. Yeah. But, and sometimes it's worse.

than other times. But that is a relief. Massive relief because I was just like, I'm old parent. You know, I've done everything in my power to like, and honestly, part of my hike this summer was like, in my mind I was like, if I have Parkinson's, I want to, I want to do this now.

Like a physical challenge. I want to do this now. Does the essential tremor, is it progressive? Like, will it? My doctor said she doesn't think it's, going to progress much. Because three years it hasn't really... Well, she said at my age, like, getting it after 50, it's not as likely to progress to like a point where, you know, it's... Catherine Hepburnie. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess we will see. She said, you know, it's individual

people obviously have different stuff. But now I'm just, it's one of those things where it's, again, like, eh, don't necessarily want that, but thank God I don't have anything worse, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My grandpa had Parkinson's. It's such a wild thing. Yeah, I mean, people, all of the, I mean, I'm just blown away by people. All the things people have. Truly, what people are navigating every day.

I know. Privately, publicly. I know. It's just, you know, things you have to go to therapy for. Yeah. It's just, it's, you know. Well, they just recognize Michael J. Fox at the Emmys. Because he is part.

He has Parkinson's right. Yeah. I didn't know if he was diagnosed at 30. Yeah. In the 90s, right? Yeah, like that. To have been living with that for this long and to start as so young. Yeah.

Man. And I think, and I could be wrong, but I think it is that thing of getting diagnosed young, it potentially progresses. Yeah, yeah. Rather than like one certain, I also might not know what I'm talking about. Because also I have a lot of, I have massive Googlehead. Yeah. So everything I've read about a central tremor and Parkinson's and even MS,

because for a while I was like, oh gosh. Oh, God. Like when Thomas and I went and saw Paul Simon a few, oh, when handsome. Remember when we were performing in Austin? Oh, yeah. Thomas and I went to see Paul Simon. And I was like, I don't know. I have something.

Something's going on. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So now I know for sure. It's like a bridge over troubled water. You are on fire, LLC. Bridge over trembly water.

Rough waters. That's good. It's not that good. I like shaky paw. Shakey paw is perfect. Yeah. So if you ever want to check in, I'm a shaky paw. Well, now I will occasionally look over to see what the calls do. Feel free. Yeah. So my friend, you know, my friend Joe, who's usually staying with me often from England.

And so he was having, the other day, a couple nights ago, I've been away, but he's been staying in my house. And he was, I think, on a date, or he was having kind of an intense relationship conversation with this girl he's been seeing. and it was kind of a few hours of processing and talking and then he was like, you know, I'm, can, let's, it's late, like, let's park this conversation. Well, let's hang out in a couple of days and pick it up. And we're just going in circles. She was like, okay.

So then he goes out, it's like 2 a.m. And he's standing on the street waiting for his Uber. And then she texts him and is like, just come, come, just sleep over. Like, we'll stop talking. He's like, okay. And so he goes back, rings the doorbell. and he's waiting for her to come down in her apartment building

and what kind of stairway does she have just a squiggly slide to wait for her to come down the slide and go to you hall and so he's waiting there and a fully naked man with no socks and shoes like completely naked bald man

just walks by him confidently and goes you want to suck my dick you want to suck my dick and keeps walking by him and walks away into the darkness and then like 30 seconds later the girl opens the door and is like hey and he's like

and he's like I just saw a fully naked man and she's like oh okay well anyway and he's like no I'm sorry I can't like oh that ruined it for me he was the only witness to this yeah yeah like you had he still had much to process

he said I need to leave and figure this out But what a crazy. He said the guy didn't look unhoused or anything. He just looked so confident being naked, just walking down the street. He could have been sleepwalking. Oh, my God. Imagine.

There are people that just legit sleepwalk like that and have no idea. Well, he's got a meeting tomorrow with like a Netflix exec. The naked guy? I said imagine if it's that guy in a suit. Oh, I thought you were saying he for sure does. I was like, what is he pitching? With like a producer. Fortune.

Great. If you miss that. So clear. What is he pitching? A tent. That was good. Thank you. I'll be here all episode.

But then I'm writing a zombie. Shaky paw. Listen, I'm open to being made fun of for Shaky Paw. You go on. Sorry, man. I don't know. I forget where I was going with it. No, you said you have a meeting.

Wait, no, a pitch. He is, no, Joe has a pitch. And I thought it would be funny if he showed up and it was the guy, the naked guy, but in a suit. Just not acknowledging what it happened. I'm going to let go. Yeah. That's enough. That's enough of that.

Taking out we're touching each other, for those of you not watching. U-Haul. Do you think we're going to get U-Haul sponsorship? I hope so. Fingers crossed. I mean, it makes so much sense anyway. Yeah. You know?

They should be targeting that market. We could do so many fun commercials for U-Ha. Please. Let us do it. That's not on the list. We want to be the first. base of a big brand. We're begging to do more ads.

To do more ads. The handsome pot on the side of people's you all. Let's find an ethical company and just do it all. On the back of each truck, it could be the three of us waving, and it says, follow me to the handsome pod. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we'll workshop that. Yeah.

I thought you're going to have like a dirty joke. No, no. No, no, I cleaned it up. No, I'm in therapy. Change. A change woman. If therapy makes you like you

super boring. Like you never say Cooter anymore. No, I will always say Cooter. I will always say Cooter. You just did. I know and I will continue to. Handsome is supported by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need

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I was on a mission to improve the lighting in a dark hallway of my home. So I went on Wayfair and I found this mid-century modern wall sconce with a wooden base and this opal glass globe by George Oliver. Now my hallway is a whole mood, and I'm coming up with excuses to go from room to room just so I can experience it. Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're simply replacing an appliance or transforming your home from top to bottom for the holiday season. Use filters, custom photos, and more than 20 million verified five-star reviews. I've already got multiple comments on my hallway scons, and I'm so happy with the quality as well.

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It's the best way to support the show. I got more. Give it to them. So I've been traveling, and so I was writing down things to tell you guys. I love that. Yeah, and so then, first of all, you have shaky paw? I got shaky paw. Second of all, you didn't they call it luggage because you lug it around?

That's another thing. Lugged. Luggage. You just lugged around, and someone went luggage? Luggage, yeah. Okay, so that's one there. Did you write that down or you did write that down? Yeah, that's in here.

And did you circle it? And highlight it, do not. And you were like, don't forget to bring this. Do not even try to do the episode without. I love that you. You're like, I got more. We're going to need to get to this one. You know, it reminds me if when I'm on flights and I see the little print on the, well, storage or stowage.

Yes. When they say, you know, for stowage. Mm-hmm. They say stowage? On some planes. Because you stow it. Yeah, but it could be storage. Could be.

Write that down. Chat with friends on the handsome pot. Chat with friends on the handsome pod. Okay, I got, because I knew I wanted to tell you about what happened to my friend Joe. Oh my gosh, we should do an episode where we reference notes in our little journals. This is humiliating. I can't believe this. Why is that humiliating?

Because I did it naturally. I thought you're going to say, No one can see it, but people are going to use it. This is a safe pod. You can cry. You can read your notes. You can have shaky pots. You can have cried on this pod.

I cry like empathetically. Like I cry if someone else cries, I cry, right? Is that what happens? Uh-huh. Yeah. Always? You never have your own. My own tears.

Your own tears? Yeah, no, I have a lot of those. Oh, because you have empathy. That's good. Yeah. Okay, so I knew I wanted to tell you about the. Oh, little finger pointing. about the naked guy.

And then Joe was telling us that story. And then my friend Matt and his wife live in my backhouse. And she's from China. And she chimed in. And she goes, well, did you know in ancient China, like, kung fu masters would, to achieve the highest level, they would be eunuchs. Like, they would cut off their dicks. Whoa. And then she goes, it's a funny story.

This guy was like really, I think this is a joke she was telling. But she goes, he. What's happened? Sorry, my pen. I thought that was a new tad. My pen has exploded. My pen has an eagles. This is what happens when you get a notebook and a pen out.

My pen's exploded ink. Oh, this is a mess. Anyway, the point is she said. Keep all this in, Thomas. She said, this guy, he wanted to be a Kung Fu monster. You haven't lost this for a second, by the way. We're hanging in right with you. There's like an ancient text that tells you how.

And on page one, it says, to achieve the highest level, you have to cut, you have to chop your off. Okay. And so he's true. So this part's a joke, but the, but it is true, but then this part's the joke. So then he does it and then he turns and on page two, it says page two, if you don't want to do the dick part, you don't have to. Oh no. It's pretty good. Wow. Oh no. You didn't have to. I like how casual it is. Also, do you only hang out with people that you exchange facts with? You know, the People who last in my life are often ones that can throw a fact in there. I have music facts. Yeah, any kind, or like a little juicy parable or something. Yeah. Yeah. What does fortune bring to this?

The business mind. Yeah, the LLC. I'm going to figure out a way to monetize this. Monetize the facts. Should we get to our question? I think we should. Yeah. Today's question asker.

an actor and a stand-of-comedian. Her latest special After-Cation is now out on YouTube. Her podcast is The Dork Forest. Jackie Cation is asking today's question. Nice. Teg, Fortune, it's me, Jackie Cajan. Hi, handsome folk. And may.

Here's my question. My question is. I got that one. Let's see. You never have. Yeah. My question is, is if you could be in the Marvel universe,

cinematic, TV, or just even write a comic book, what character would you want to be? This isn't, this, we'll take this one. There's a lot to work through here. When we had Bowen-Yang, he said, he said, Tigamee. Well, Jackie, it does happen every now and then. It hasn't happened to me.

It hasn't happened to you now. No. Jackie, I'm sure we'd be friends. I think y'all actually would be friends. Jackie's a very, very funny stand-up, very smart. And with a podcast called The Dork Forest. Yeah. You think that sounds right up my street.

Right up reality. So y'all just need to meet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no way Jackie would forget you after that. Thanks, fortune. You're welcome. Thanks, LLC. In fact, Jackie will be like,

that's a good impression. You know, oh, I feel like, No, listen, it happens. Man. This is my kind of question, and actually we have on the screen, because none of us really know. Yeah, well, I was going to ask if either of you are big Marvel fans, we've never talked about Marvel, so I kind of think no. I haven't seen the Avengers or any of those. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not not into it, but I'm not into it. I'm definitely not into it. You're definitely not into it. No, it's not my thing. I know, to be honest, it leaves me pretty cool. I mean, listen, if I were to get an opportunity to be in one of the movies, in a heartbeat.

I'm just big man. First of all, first of all, I'm reading this. This is a list of Marvel Heroes. Okay, these are all the heroes? Because I was like, are these all the movies? I also get them confused with, like, the DC comics, but this is. So we got, there's people here I've never heard of like. I've seen Deadpool, and I never saw the Hulk, never saw Iron Man.

I watched one Avengers. Did you watch the Hulk as a kid? Yeah, as a kid I watched the Hulk cartoons. I watched the live action. Yeah. Oh, yeah, with Lou Friigno. I feel like I was anxious slut. I got to be Iron Fist.

Iron Fist, wait. It's May being dirty. Yeah. And May doesn't get a May Marie? You expect it from anxious to? Don't look at me like that. Yeah, it mays an anxious slut. These are great.

I haven't heard of half of these. It would be fun to be Spider-Man. I mean, they're all kind of tortured emotionally. Dr. Strange. That was a Cumberbatch, right? That was, yeah. Daredevil. That was a bust, I believe.

A bust. But we don't have to start, you know, judging movies. Oh, I did love Black Panther. That was a great movie. Oh, I did like the Wolverine movies. Look at who is a mark. Marvel gal. No, I mean, it's just part of the culture, you know.

I didn't realize that X-Men are Marvel heroes. So in that case, there's a lot of great X-Men. We're Superman. He's D.C. Yeah, that's D.C. Yeah. I was kidding. Oh.

I would want to be... I think I would go a Spider-Man. Would you? Yeah. And I'll tell you why. Wait, is Spider-Man part of this? Yeah. Right up there where it says Spider-Man.

I see it now. Okay. Which Spider-Man, a particular actor or just Spider-Man in general? Don't care. It would be TIG's version of Spider-Man. Yeah. Got it. I would just need the suit and the superpowers because...

I could see TIG being Spider-Man. I could too. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, but I got shaky paw. This hand would be like... Oh, sure. Yeah. I'd be like, whoa!

It's going on. Yeah, that would be a disaster. Yeah, when I stay, did I tell you I request under the third floor when I say at hotels? Oh, because of potential fires. Yeah. Oh. I don't like being up high. Yeah.

And I'm also claustrophobic. Yeah. Right, right. So it kind of triggers all that in me. And, you know, a lot of hotel windows do not open. Yeah, that's stressful. Yeah. It's so stressful.

I always look out to see, okay, if I could get out, is there a, parking structure below. Yeah, that's fair. And just side note, what I have learned about breaking a window. Yeah. That doesn't open is people typically go towards the middle, but you have better luck, you have better luck hitting where it's closer to the wall. Really?

Yeah. And you just, what would you do, wrap a towel around your hand? Probably. Well, that I don't know. Yeah. Maybe pick up a chair. Yeah, that sounds better. Yeah.

Yeah. I definitely go fist. Yeah. Well, you're super fist. Or an iron. I'm iron fist. You're iron fist. You're iron fist.

Pick up an actual iron. Yeah. So I like to, or even a tree. If I see a tree below my window, I'm like, well, I'll just jump on that. I'll take the, like, stab and, you know. But as Spider-Man. That's exactly right. Thanks for keeping me on track.

Yeah, yeah. As Spider-Man, I could just put on my little suit. Uh-huh. And, well, I'd still need to get out the window. Yeah, but you're Spider-Man. what I do. I would use my web to pull the window and my shaky web. Yeah. My shaky web.

I think you have some super strength type. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah. Okay. You got a six pack. So that's that's what I am. Is I'm escaping from fires and stuff? Yeah. I like that. Thank you. Yeah. So you're an iron fist? Well, I think I want to change. Where is iron fist? Top right. Iron fist. And I don't, not familiar with this character. Do we know anything about it? Oh, wow, he looks pretty.

Luke Cage? Has that character been played in a recent movie? I don't think so, but he's about to because I'm going to play him. Well, the abs on this guy are very impressive. He looks pretty camp. Yeah. Look like a bee at the top part. Okay, I guess I could be Iron Fist, but I'd like to be Professor X because he can read thoughts.

He can communicate with people all over. That's right up your alley. Yeah. Just listen to what's everybody saying about me. Yeah. Gene Gray is very powerful as well. Jean Grey? She turns evil.

She's an X-Men, and I think her powers are so strong that she ultimately maybe kills Professor X. Wait, this isn't this? Yeah. Yeah, Professor X. Has anyone played Gene Gray before? Yeah. Who? I want to say Femm. K. Jensen.

I'm probably all wrong. Wait, so you do know Marvel? I know X-Men. I didn't realize they were Marvel. Wow. I think that's Professor X isn't X-Men. that was a whole set guys

Patrick Stewart yes yeah yeah yeah Jackie if you're listening this is right up our alley yeah there's probably a lot we're like the worst

you're annoying a lot of people at Comic-Con I remember the thing he's like full of rocks that's pretty cool this might be the least amount of something we've ever known I just feel like

all of these people have tortured lives like none of these superpowers help that ultimately they're a actually I just heard a quote that said all your flaws are just intensifications of positive aspects of your personality too like like for instance uh-huh like I'm one of my positive aspects is my intensity or my sensitivity but then if that

gets dialed up too much that's one of my flaws you know but anyway and it's the same maybe with these guys like they're oh interesting what we have to remember is we have listeners and we've been staring at a screen going, oh. Well, usually one of us knows a lot about something that even if the other two don't. This is a rare time that the three of us

have been stumped. Although May knows a little bit. I think I've heard of eight of these. Fortune, we need your answer, though. Who are you? You know, for any reason that the superhero world is not, I'm just not into it.

world. Make it your world. I know. I like Batman quite a bit. I am not. I've actually never seen a single Tom Holland Spider-Man movie. Same. It's just not my thing. But I know they're humongous. Black Widow was Scarlett Johansson, right? Couldn't tell you. I think so. I don't know. The little rocket raccoon looks cute. Oh yeah. What does that guy do? That's the Guardians of the Galaxy. I have, I have seen. Does he have a gas tank? It looks like he's got a, weapon. He's got a gun. He looks like he's just fun. Yeah, he does. He doesn't.

If that showed up at your door, you'd be like, well, you look fun. Well, Rocky Raccoon has a fun personality, doesn't he? You know, there's a Rocky Raccoon. Came into his room. Beatles. Is Vin Diesel Rocky Raccoon or is he Groot?

Are you saying Rocky or Rocket? Rocket. Rocket raccoon is Bradley Cooper. Oh, yeah. And that's a fun one. Okay, so we got our answers I am Professor X We're all like this This might be our worst answers

We've ever have No, I like it I like the idea of TIGA's Spider-Man Solely to break out of a hotel room That is making you claustrophobic Yeah I'm rock a raccoon I'm less sold on Okay, well then let's

Who would you say for me? I think you are Black Widow because I'm sexy A-F Yeah. Or Hawkeye Antman. Agent Coulson.

That sounds boring. Well, you know, does it not make sense that somebody who hosts the Dork Forest is asking us such a thing? It does make sense.

Maybe I'm She-Hulk. I mean, I'm such a fan of so many things. Look at these guns. Jackie Cation. Do you ever take a day off of being Jackie Cation? I don't think of being Jackie Cation.

I don't think. so and Jackie's going to be sorely disappointed in our discussion about not as disappointed as may is being left out by Jackie will you ever get over this I'm over it already okay I don't believe it your face did not give an authentic look and I by the way I don't see one chubby gal in this whole situation so I'm oh I think you should be storm on the bottom left corner storm can control weather that's good come on that would be nice especially in global this day of global warming Gay as hell. A storm does look pretty gay.

Yeah. And look at those knockers. I wouldn't mind a set of those. In your knockers out tub. What would you do? A tits all hot tub. What would you do if you had like a giant? I would not want it, right?

You wouldn't want it, right? You wouldn't want to see it. You want me? Just jot big old, big old knockers in my honey love bra. I'm in a weird in between of like I don't really You're not in between Well no as far as like

I don't want to not have anything Personally But then I don't want to get a lift Because that would just be weird For me to just have big old perky ditties And so it's just sort of have these weird Like little like saggy

Exhaustate I got a little saggy A's or saggy A's or saggy B I'm not sure where I'm out I think I'm right in between the two What is double A? Is that really small? Oh, no, Double is big, isn't it?

Maybe after all the single letters, they go to double a. It's also a battery. Maybe. We don't know. This is another thing we really. It's not our thing. We can also go into discussing brawisides. What is double A?

Guys, remember we've won podcast in the year? We should submit this episode for a sum for one of the track. contribution to the community. Should we hear Jackie? If anyone tuned in for the first time on this one, they would be like, what is this podcast? Even if this is their 300th time listing. You guys, we can't win them all.

We might get new listeners who are massive Marvel fans and they're going to be mad at us, because we're so dumb about this world. You know, my one Spider-Man thing that I know is that in the Toby McGuire movie, you know the scene where he catches someone trips and all their lunch goes flying and he catches it

all on the tray. I did see that movie. Yeah and they did it for real it's not a special effect so he did it like 50 times Well do you remember I worked for Sam Ramey Oh yeah oh my god Yeah I'm right here So did it was that a I don't know okay They had the infamous upside down kiss in that movie

That was hot yeah Yeah like that yeah yeah I want Have you ever upside down kiss? He's just trying to think I think only sort of Do you do it right now? Yeah. To imitate the

Remember when people would hang upside down and draw a face on their chin? That's good. That was such a slumber party thing to do. Put it on the list. Thomas. Upside down chin face.

Smootian. Or you put the eyes here, I guess. Oh, I know. Yeah. We need to do it. And you put your glasses. Yeah. You put glasses over your chin. Yeah.

God. Oh, God. Oh, what a pot. We just create work for our eyes. So we've left and right. Is long and not getting chipped away. Should we hear Jackie's answer? Let's do it.

I'm hoping in the answer she goes, oh, I forgot by the way to say, May. You never know. We'll find out. She won't. Fortune. What if Jackie just want? I would like you somehow to be in the circus of crime and I would want you to be Princess.

Wait, she's saying who we would be? A home of them. So worried you're not going to be part of this. She is with his pets. She is from North Carolina. Nice. I know you are not from you are from South Carolina. No, I am from both.

Joanna. Madam Mask, who is a cramlord, but very pragmatic, and that is what I love about her, because she isn't ever coming up with crazy, wild-ass plans for how to take over the world. Please me. I need to make several million dollars this month because I have a very expensive bill coming up. And then I would like to be in this hell of. the duck. I want to be modot. I thought what I

put in mind. Modad is the mental organism designed only for talking as opposed to no doc who is a mental organism designed only for killing. This one is a talk show. He controls all the talk shows

and I and chatty. Jackie, I was number one on Star Meter. She doesn't know about you. She was in No, I am here. Here is the problem.

Double down. Jackie is like the stand-up comedy version of Alanis. Oh. She's, yeah, you're right. No, Alanis knows. Alanis knows. But you know what? But it's so funny that it started with your name he left out.

And we thought, oh, well, moving on. I'm over it. She's like, all right, fortune. She went to the trouble. Jackie was like, I am going to make. to make sure that they know now wow

you need to hold my hand thanks bud I got you do you want me to hold your boob yeah hold it up my honey love bra needs a little do you hold up your honey love do have Jackie's number

I do should we call her yeah oh I don't have my phone no I don't have Jackie's number I could see who what superhero she thinks

I should be were we to say she hung up just FY we do have a third podcast host. Now, I also do want to make sure that, of course, it would have been nice for you to be included in our episode. That would have been nice, but I'm okay with it. You're okay. Oh, a billion percent. And at least it wasn't about something you're super pumped. Oh, totally. And we also,

well, we for sure found out Jackie's not a fan of the show. You never watch the handsome pod. Okay. But also, I want to make sure that the handsome community, which are wonderful people. Don't come for Jackie. Don't come for Jackie. Do not come for Jackie. If anything, I was

a thing I was, this is cool. A very funny. Jackie's so sweet. And a really great stand-up by the way, if you're not familiar with their stuff. And she tours with Maria Bamford. She's Maria's...

I'm just thrilled this is now part of the lore of our show. I know, it is. You've been for you've been forgotten. Take your honest mistake. You are due a forget, but I have a feeling it won't happen. I mean, who's going to forget me? I know, that's the thing. This is impossible.

You've not been forgotten yet. I'm dropped dead cute. I have been forgotten. May has been forgotten. Not you, my friend. Yeah. Yeah. Must be quite a burden to bear. We might have to have like a follow-up, like get Jackie to chime in

on what superhero she thinks I am. Well, we have to tell her about you first. We have to have to have or listen to one episode. Send her my headshot. And your star meter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're the number one star in the world. I know.

You were the number one. I was laughing the other day thinking about, do you remember when we were talking about that our star meter was solely people trying to figure out our gender? 100%. I still stand by that. But all of us. Yeah. What is that?

It's any time one of us has some of that. out. We shoot up the charts because they were like, what did I just say? What am I looking at? It ran across the screen real fast. Oh, my God. That was that. This tickled me.

I'm not going to lie. This really did tickle me as well. It was so incredible. And did Bowen in his episode realize you were part of it? Never. Never has. As far as he knows. We've never met the two.

I know. Have I about Bowen? I can't. I don't think so. Wow. And if you brought it up, it would be hard to convey that you found it funny. It would seem like you were bringing it out. Yeah, you were like, hey, you sent a question.

I thought it was hilarious as well. Well, and the way you said, do you have Jackie's number? Can we call her now? Does seem like maybe you're not taking it well. We need to get to the bottom. I thought it would be funny. Anybody have Jackie's number? I think we should call her.

Look it on the front. Yeah. And just put you on FaceTime and be like, do you know who this is, Jackie? Oh, my God. What is that? What is that? And then all of a sudden your star meter goes, that's right.

Well, man, that was fun. That was a fun app. That really was. It was a blast. Such a blast. Well, I am on the last leg of my taking care biscuits tour. And coming up, I have got a bunch of West Coast shows starting in mid-October, Oakland, California, Bakersfield, Santa Barbara,

San Luis Obispo, L.A., Palm Springs. And then I also added Athens, Georgia. And then I finished my tour up with Denver and Nashville. And then that's it for my tour. Awesome. That sounds fun. I'm just at Largo in L.A. on October 8th.

And other than that, I'm just writing. And, yeah, check out whatever. You know, probably doing some squirrel on around too. I'm doing some squirreling. Anxious sledding. Always anxiously slutting it up. And if anybody cares to see old shaky paw on the road, I will be in Chico. I'll be in Olympia, Washington, Fresno, Napa, Wilmington, Delaware, Terrytown, New

London, Connecticut, Colorado Springs, Steamboat Springs, Basalt. And always got my Largo and Dynasty Typewriter local shows. So come on down, see what kind of squirreling around I'm going to do. Come on down. Come on. And we'll be announcing or putting it up on sale soon. But we are going to be doing a Holly Bob show. Yeah, we are.

December 12th at Dynasty Typewriter. This is going to be the best one. Yeah, this is the longest that we've had to play. The longest runway that we've had for that show. It's a long runway. Yeah, I have some ideas. Yeah. Yeah.

And it will be live streamed so folks can tune in from anywhere on a Saturday and at a time where people can have a Holly Bob's handsome party. Yes, please. And check out handsomepod.com. Is that what it is? Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And we love you. Yeah, we do. Make sure you subscribe also on YouTube. Tigs are adamant about that. Well, it does help the show. It does, too.

I mean, it really does. It makes a huge difference. If you subscribe and if you rate and review, share episodes with friends, build our community. It's going great. Let's keep doing it. Let's do it. Yeah.

All right. Until next time. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, May Martin, and Fortune Themster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. us at handsome pod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast.

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