Handsome - John Early asks about parental traits

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

The hilarious John Early (Search Party, Eternity) asks Handsome what behaviors they picked up from their parents! Plus Mae leaves Tig a note backstage, pedicure talk, another "your legacy will be great" moment, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Cheers. Here's. Hello, it's your friend Tignotaro, one of the hosts of The Handsome Pot. I'm sitting here with a couple of people by the name of May Martin. And Fortune Feefebster. A fortune fiends, sir. And May Martin. How are you guys doing? So good. How are y'all? Very well, thanks. Yeah. Oh, you're not in New York anymore. I'm back home. I'm back home. but what a trip guys was it what happened well just from the perspective of like the lore of this

podcast i feel like it was a big trip for me because we talk about i went and did um drew barrymore show and kelly clarkson and we talk about them so much on the pod but first i was on the plane on the way to new york guess who guess who guess who guess what the pilot the pilot yes yes oh was that fun captain let me sit on his lap oh i would call hr yeah no um uh alison williams who asked a question on the pod and yeah we were all giddy about and she was she like an angel came and crouched by my chair and shouted to me it was so nice what did she have to say for herself she went on this political diatribe uh no just kidding imagine uh no she was really nice she i just just said I was nervous for Drew Barrymore and she was saying, oh, that she'd just done it and

Drew was so nice. And did you settle when you got to the Drew taping? Did I settle? No, maybe halfway through the interview I started to relax. Did Drew talk close to you? Thank God we held hands. Yes, I knew it. Yeah. And I did kind of like going in, I was remembering what you guys had said like you're going to think you're in love yeah you think she's in love too yeah and i did i did leave her my phone number so obviously it did get in my head i left like a card afterwards not i don't think in a romantic way i just was like we got along so well so i i wrote like a thank you card and then i wrote here's my number here's my digits yeah yeah i have not heard That is the magic of Drew Barrymore is that she is going to treat you exactly how she treats her PAs, the security guards, her audience and her closest friends.

Yes, 100%. Yeah. And it's really, really incredible to see somebody that really does not, like, she does not at all. give anything less. Yeah, like she doesn't morph or change according to it. Yeah, it was super, super nice. I know. I always think like if I, okay, and maybe I've said this when we talked about Drew,

I feel like if I, if I was in New York City and I was stranded, I would feel very comfortable. And I don't even know if she would respond. But I would feel very comfortable saying, Drew, I'm stranded for whatever reason I can't get a hotel room and I come over and if she said yes I would feel comfortable sleeping in her bed

oh yeah I wouldn't be trying to get anything romantic going on I'm just saying like that's how comfortable that's sort of how I felt and I yeah what a special ray of sunshine then I did Kelly Clarkson the Kelly Clarkson.

Oh, the, not the knockoff, Kelly Clarkson. The one. How'd that go? Well, first of all, though, TIG, you did Stephen Colbert. I did, and I did Drew as well. And then I just got back from Good Morning America. Nice. Oh, my God.

You guys are all over the place. We are all over the place. But this is way after, this is airing way after the fact. So go back and watch our clips. And I, so I left a note for you in the sofa. Did that come? I was going to reveal that, but you went ahead and revealed it. Sorry.

Did it work, TIG? Afterwards, I was like, is this me trying to like muscle in on like, you're probably going to be? It worked. I mean, they did a video of me trying to find the note that you left. Oh, really? Yeah, I couldn't. I don't know if they're going to air it anywhere, but I couldn't find it.

And so the producer kind of like said, you're hot, you're cold. You're hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, burning hot. hot and then I flip the wrong thing over cold cold cold oh my god I was like I'm 54 where is the where is this fucking note that I never asked for yeah I don't have much time left yeah I'm 54 where's this note 54 I don't want to play hide and seek and I also have limited time on the planet where is the note stupid note yeah and the note was just like keep it hand handsome and I can't wait to spend some quality one-on-one time with you or something like that. Yeah, it was kind of generic, May, I'll be on it.

It was a generic, handsome friendship note. But I was very pleased to get it once I finally was led to it. Yeah. But yeah, I did Colbert and I did something I've never done before and I burst into tears on national television. Why? It was amazing. They asked me, I was out promoting Andrea's doc

And I was asked if I wanted to read one of Andrea's poems And so I was like, oh, yeah So I was planning on doing that And I was definitely going to be a very different vibe Than when I'm normally with my boyfriend, Colbert. Right. So I'm standing, I'm waiting in the wings, you know, and he comes over before he introduces his guests and he says hi to them.

Well, normally we have a silly time, but this one, he walks over, gives me the biggest hug, holds my hand, looks me in the eyes, and he says, I love you. And I knew that was like about the doc and Andrea. And so then my emotions jumped into my throat. Yeah, right below the surface. Yeah. And so I go on and we're talking. And then he said, I would love for you to read one of Andrea's poems. And I was like, okay. And I was thinking, I can do this. I'm all right. And I was reading it. Oh, boy. I got about two-thirds of the way through. And then there's this line of like when you hear the chains of a swing set. only the soul you know

hearing the chains of a swing set can bring you to your knees and I think later I realized that I was connecting with feeling on my knees that's how I felt in that moment so I think when I said that I'm that kind of

cryer where it's like there's kind of no sign that it's coming and then when it happens I'm like Oh. No, the way you started, you sort of got, I mean, there's nothing more like tear jerking than watching someone try not to cry. That's like more moving than watching someone cry, I think. And watch it. It was just the most powerful. And the poem is so beautiful. And yeah, it was just. It's so beautiful. I mean, you cry like River Phoenix. It was very handsome. Oh. That's true. I had some crier. Yeah, I struggled that night and I didn't sleep well because I was like really in my head of,

I already had to edit Andrea's poem, which I felt horrible about because I didn't have all of the time in the world on the segment. And then I didn't even get to finish it. And so it basically ends with me going, swing set. And I was like, in my mind, I'm like, Andrea wouldn't have ended the poem there. There was more. I'm sorry. But I was texting with Meg, Andrea's wife after, and she was just like, it was perfect.

It's how Andrea actually would have wanted it. And in the documentary, Andrea says, when I die, I know that's just going to make everybody that I love more of who they are as a person and i i kind of didn't understand that and meg was telling me she never liked that because she was like i don't know what could ever what good could ever come from this and but she said she understands it now and she said and i feel like actually you going on colbert so vulnerable and reading one of andrea's poems actually was you becoming more of who you are and so It just was, it's, I feel better about it. I just, I felt like I had botched the mission when I was, when I was crying.

And I was like, Jesus. I think that the mission is, a real moment though. Yeah, a real moment. And I feel like the mission is just like spreading love and, yeah, and showing that beautiful vulnerability that Andrea had too. Yeah, yeah. But anyway. I was messaging you and then I felt, I was like,

deeply moved by the clip and then another part of me was like oh fuck TIG is wearing the only jacket that I brought to wear on Kelly Clarkson tomorrow oh really yes the exact Imogen and Willie green jacket and I was thinking oh great now this is going to be another viral clip of TIG on a talk show it's going to be infamous and this is I can't wear that jacket now but I wore it but I did well mine was an actual I think real army jacket. Hmm. Oh, really?

From your time in the service? Yeah, when I did it when I served. During do not, don't tell, don't ask, don't tell. Don't tell. Yeah. And then we talked about you a lot, Fortune, on Kelly Clarkson. Like half my little interview was about how much we love you. So you're very beloved at that show.

That's sweet. Yeah. I love them too. Well, guys, we've had quite a week. What have you been up to? Tell us. Oh, y'all. Girl.

Girl, don't even. Don't hold anything back, girl. Yeah, lay it out for us, girl. Let me tell you. Still that tea. What I have been up to. First of all, you had your hair done. Did you not?

No, it's just gorgeous today. It is gorgeous. What about your nails? Your nails look divine. Oh, I do need to actually get my nails done this weekend. I'm not being facetious. I actually really do love a manicure and pedicure. I love a pedicure. I'm getting one tomorrow. I think I might get one tomorrow too. You've never had one, May? I don't think so. Welcome to your new life. Really? Does that you get your piggies? Girls, get those little piggies buffed? Girl, let me tell you about a pedicure. This little piggy went to the pedicure. Tell us, fortune. I haven't done it. I mean,

I've done them plenty, but I'm going to do it, I think, tomorrow as well. So we'll have a handsome pedicure day. Put on a list though, Thomas. We got to do it together. I get the callous remover and stuff. You know, you just got to get everything just kind of scraped off your foot and speak to yourself. Start a new. I go throw up. I have tiny little nails, though. So they're always It's just like doing little blops of paint. That's adorable. I get color on my toes, but just buffed on my hands. Really?

Girl? We have to have a spa day. That's me. I actually don't even get my nails done. I just nibble them off. And then I go in for my pedicure and I get little, I get my toenails painted as well. What color, girls? Oh, I like a sparkly blue or a purple.

And I got red last time. Oh. Yeah. Did somebody have a date? Clemson. Give me flaming red toenails. I said, let's keep those so sexy. I go for like a deep, deep maroon.

Like a deep maroon. Yes, I do. Wow. When we get our handsome firefighter calendar going, we have to each have foot fetish months where it's my feet, your feet, your feet, you know, and then Thomas can plop down his hairy. I don't want anyone looking at my toes too closely, though. I got really long toes. Okay, we can do a bird's eye view of your feet.

Yeah, fortunes are from a far distance. I'm going to get a pedicure. I love this girly side of us. I do too. It's like I feel like I'm home. I bet if people listening did not expect to hear us talking about manicures and pedicures. Yeah, but here we are. Yeah.

So that's my plan. I'm going to be a bum today and do nothing, though. I have not had a day off in like two months. Would you ever consider doing cart? in your backyard just to kind of be like, I am off work and then, you know. I would, except I don't want to hurt myself and I feel like that's dicey. It gives me a lot of joy to think about you taking a day off. That is nice. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance.

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Free trial for new subscribers only. Subscription fees starting from $5 per month and less canceled. Terms apply at HTTP slash acorns.com slash early terms. Speaking of girl power, I think I did something embarrassing at Kelly Clarkson. Oh, yeah. Tell us. Well, it's what the show is. I kissed her, yeah.

No, wait on Drew? No, on Kelly, Kelly. Because what happened was the night before I watched, I was just alone in my hotel room and I watched the 1996 live tour. I think it was in Japan or something of Alanis doing Jagged Little Pill. I don't know why. I watched a full, like, hour and a half tour concert just on my laptop. And I was just like marveling. Is this what the retreat taught you to do? No, this was not one of the tips, but it should be. It was more therapeutic than anything. Yeah. Yeah. I was watching her like truly that her vocal performance is insane. She's in this like baggy gray t-shirt sprinting around the stage. Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters is on the drums. It's just like I was like, this is a, I mean, why is she not more in the pantheon of like, she's like Robert Plant like it's crazy. So anyway, that was my mood going into Kelly Clarkson.

I got myself all worked up about Kelly's talent. And I got really kind of, I kept saying backstage like, God, It's, you know, Kelly, Drew, they're just so talented. And then so, you know, you have like a minute to talk to the host after the interview's done. And you take your little photo and they usher you off and the next guest comes in. So she's like, oh, so great to have. Well, to be fair with Drew, they only give you like three minutes to hold each other before you leave. Yeah, Drew, just to embrace.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, Kelly, thank you so much for having me. And she's like, oh, it was so great to meet you. And then I go, can I just say? And it was just like with fucking Justin Trudeau when I told him your legacy will be great. Something came over me. I launched into, I've never met this woman.

I go, can I just say, you are so talented. And it is crazy that I said, women have to be so good to like break through. I was like, you are a platinum artist. You're an incredible talk show host. I was like, there's no female late night host. Like, I don't know what I was doing. I went on a monologue. She's like, okay.

And then I go, because I was just thinking like, look at Drew Barrymore. That's a literal movie star. Like a movie star who's also an incredible, like producer, actor, an amazing interviewer. Same with. Person. Same with Kelly. Like her vocal talent. And yeah, and I was just like, why are there no female late night host?

Why do people have, why do women have to be such multi-hyphenance to just? get their foot in the door and I was getting real worked up and anyway Kelly was like all right whoa you blink and she's walked away yeah blacked out yeah away it was crazy she goes well you you know we just got to leave the door open for the next generation I was like yeah okay anyway bye all right well it's been fun your legacy will be great that was the five I don't know what came over me I was just like in all of these women you were feeling it I actually was really feeling it, yeah. These strong, talented ladies got you excited.

They got me all flustered, yeah. And your pantalones. Oh, boy, here we go. Also, people kept saying, like, in their introductions and stuff that I directed wayward. I'm not correcting them, but I didn't. But people keep going. They wrote, directed, and stuff. I'm like, all right.

Choreographed, all the dance moves. Yeah, to be clear. I didn't direct it. Your show's still in the top 10, you know. Dude, it's nuts. It's crazy. It's so wild. So how long do shows that are in the top 10 usually stay in the top 10?

Oh, like a week and a half is like a long, like a very long time. Most are there a couple days and leave, if at all. So this is like a month or something? May, how long has it been? Yeah, we're going into week four. Wow. It's not, it's like a lot of views. That's incredible.

It's so crazy. And if we do like another week, then we're at like squid game level numbers. It's so nuts. And so now, I must know, when you're out in the world, just being your May Martin self, are you getting more like, oh, my God, there's May. May. Oh, my God, May. I never get May.

I always get, oh, yeah, I watched you in something. I get that way alone. But then I went to the Whitney Archie. gallery and in New York by myself. Is that where I was supposed to meet you? Yep, that's where we almost hung out. Listen, traffic was bad. Plus I had to prep for my public cry. Yes, exactly. But like three separate people came up to me and pitched me season two's of wayward, like came up and we're like, all right, season two, this is what happens. Yeah, but sometimes people don't know that I wrote it. They just think I acted in it. So they come up and say, oh, yeah, you were great in that.

I didn't like the writing not much, but you were... I've ever created that is out of their mind. Fortune, how's filming going? Great, so fun. You were filming this week? I was filming in the last couple days, yeah. I have a little time off in the next couple weeks. More cartwheels.

More cartwheels. But it's great. I love Will. I like finished last night and... and went to his, he was getting ready. I went and sat with him and we watched the Dodgers together. So we just have a good time, you know. I was really embarrassed when, this is related,

but when Allison Williams on the plane came up, I was watching, she was like, what are you watching? And I was like, oh, no, because I was watching Mr. Beast. Yeah, wait a word. No, Mr. Beast, the YouTuber, it's just like, it's garbage television, so interesting. He's a YouTuber and he did a thing where if a random person could hit more home runs than like a pro baseball player, they'd win like 250 grand. And I was watching this

random. Actually, it was like a 10 year old. And so wait, the kid won 250,000? I think so. Yeah. Wow. You couldn't concentrate because. Because an angel was crouched in the aisle. I know. Allison Williams. Well, I do remember your reaction to Allison. asking a question on the pod and it was one of delight. Yeah, of course. What is the delightful person? Was there delight in person?

Of course, of course. But I was also really aware that on the pod I had been so giddy and she had maybe seen that so I was like, hey, what's up? What's up? I'm just chilling. I was just thinking about you. How weird that you're here. I really did though. I think

we're like the same age. Like I just I felt a kindred to feel like we could be friends for sure She was funny Really funny So you aren't getting a vibe from her Well she's married No she's married

I don't know what she's up to You know what I mean These days I don't know what she's up to Yeah Have you heard from Drew You left your number for Drew Have not heard from Drew

But I assume she's very different And were you looking for friendship there Or were you if she was like Yeah I friendship I don't know I just was like in the days from the interview, and I thought, because we were talking about the nature of

reality in our brief time together about quantum stuff. And so I was like, text me from podcast recommendations I can send you. Oh. But yeah. Yeah. There you go. Little cowboy, the world is your oyster. Yeah. Should we get to our question, guys? It'd be very different if you said the oyster is your world. What is? It's very different. The oyster is your world. Yeah. I don't even like oysters, so. Girl?

Okay. Really? I mean, I don't eat them. I don't. I've had them, but I realize that all I like is all the stuff you, like, drown it in. Like the vinegar. So that you don't have to taste it. Yeah.

I like all the accoutrements. And what about raw versus fried? I would probably like fried better, but I keep hearing all these. stories lately of people eating a bad oyster and losing like a leg. What? Well, yeah. Bacteria. Yeah, the ocean is heating up

and so seafood is getting more like half baked down there. So another reason to go vegan. Because they're supposed to be oysters are supposed to be in cold or cold water. Yeah. Right. And you're only supposed to eat them.

Mayfact. Wait. Someone said you're not supposed to supposed to eat them when there's an ER in the month? An ER? Are they summer? Is it summer food? Wait, what's an ER?

October, September. Wait, what's an ER? If a month ends in ER. Okay. So what is, so you can eat them in July, August. Hold on. I don't want to lead our people astray. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, it's the saying is only eat oysters, only eat oysters in months with, with an R. So not summer. I'm glad we clarified that. Wow. And summer ends with Eon. However, it's saying that that is no longer the case due to rotten oysters. Yeah.

It says though the R months, September through April, well, April doesn't end in the R, are still considered by many to be the best time for peak flavor and texture. Okay. Should we get to our question? Historically, warmer months lead to issues with spoilage, higher bacteria levels. And so that's what it is. But people, I keep reading these things of like, all this person died eating oysters. And I'm like, that's not worth it.

No, this is like Russian roulette. It's gross. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's go to our question anyway. Oh, I'm excited for our question. Welcome to seafood news. Yeah, yeah. Today's question asker, I'm a massive fan of this man. He's an actor and comedian who starred in Search Party on HBO Max. He's appeared in movies like The Disaster Artist, Late Night and other people. He also stars in Eternity, a new comedy movie with Elizabeth Olson and Miles Teller that comes out in theaters tomorrow, November 26th. He's also one half of a comedy duo with Kate Burlant. They had such an amazing special on Kiecock. On Kiecock?

Keycock. Yeah, go to Kekock now to see John Early and Kate Burland. Yeah, I'm going to stick with it. Live on Kekak. Yeah, John Early is asking today's question. Woohoo. Yeah. Hi, handsome. It's John Early. What's your favorite color?

Seriously? My question is, this might bring up a lot, okay? but I think this could be a really, this could lead to a really juicy discussion. What is the quality in you that is most like obviously inherited from one of your parents? Like what's like the quality in you that you like received from your parents, obviously against your will? That like the one that you're most surprised. prize like at this point in your life that you have that you that you know what I mean or I guess

maybe the better question is what's the quality like what's what's the kind of personality trait you inherited from your parents that is most upsetting okay love y'all oh it's most upsetting because I was going down other tracks I was like I think I have an answer here yeah were thinking positive I was saying positive oh I wasn't He is so funny though John does all these characters and they're just a trip very out there

his mind works in a very unique way His son I enjoy watching him Have you seen his special The characters on Netflix Like a bunch of people had like one episode To do And I think his is flawless

It's it's one of those people He's like in my sort of peripheral Like I have so many mutual friends with him And I'm actually like starstruck by I'm like a fan so I kind of um yeah I like I show people his character special if they're at my house and we're bored I'll be like have you seen this and I'll put it on I'm gonna start showing people that video of him asking us a question yeah have you seen this have you seen this have you seen this wow yeah because I guess we get every a good portion of things from our parents

in those first few years and then also environment influences us as well well as we go through life. I'm trying to think what I got from them that I'm like, ugh. The thing I was going towards was what I know I got from my mother, but I like it, is my mother, look, I'm not a prankster where I put a whoopee cushion under you type person. I'm not the person that's like careful of TIG on set. you know it's more just kind of silly pranks i was talking about it on um good morning america

today when i taped it they were asking about the morning show and working with jen and i was saying oh yeah i like to when they call cut i like handing jen my props or whatever or I'll hand her my trash or something when we're on bed. I'll just, I'll give her like a pile of trash or my coffee cup. And you see people from, you know, the different departments, like, sprinting out. Oh, Jen, I'll take that. I'll take, you know, and she's laughing.

But to me, that's very, I can feel my mother in me. My mother would do stuff like that just to get a reaction and that kind of prank. I've told you my mother would send. water shots to strangers at bars. I didn't know. Maybe I forgot that. That's genius. She would send like a round of water to strangers and they'd look over at her and be like,

thank you. That's so funny. And then they'd throw back the water. And then would they laugh? Yeah. Yeah. And they'd also be like, what a weird. They'll have that story forever.

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That's W-A-Y-F-A-R.com. Sale ends December 7th. So I always loved that side of my mother where she just, she would also call restaurants from the restaurant and check in on her waiter. No, yeah. What, and be like, just checking where my waiter is? And she'd be like, oh, yeah, we ordered dinner. We're just back here.

in the corner table. We were just wondering, not like to get anyone in trouble. She did it in a way that was fun and funny. That's really good. Yeah. So that's in me. I can feel it. But I like it. The playfulness. Yeah. Silly little pranks. Mm-hmm. Your tig bits too and your commitment to them. Yes. My mother committed. My mother would also, when I'd have friends come over, she would die food colors. Like she would cook mashed potatoes and dye them blue. My dad did sit that.

Yes. And she would want Yeah, she loved the reaction, that awkward thing of somebody, of course, not wanting to speak up, but wanting to speak up because their mashed potatoes are blue. Because she'd be like, TIG,

don't say anything to your friend. I'm good die in all the mashed potatoes blue. I'd be like, all right. You're like, okay. Yeah, yeah. I never met my grandfather, but my dad's dad, but he apparently was, he had a bit, he was, he would mainly sort of sit with a whiskey and a cigarette on the couch, you know, for hours at a time.

And he would call up the BBC, this is in England, and complain if there was any swearing. And he'd say, um, he'd say that, like, I fought for this country and this is a, a, And, like, he did, he was in the war, but he was just doing it to make the people around him laugh. That's great character. Fortune, what about you? I mean, positive things, I, my mom's very book smart, so I feel like I got some of that from her. And my dad's more street smart. And I think I got a little bit of that from him.

So, like, kind of a combo of the two. Yeah, I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley. That's how he met Fortune was in a dark alley. Yeah, it worked out. And look at us now. Gosh, I'm like, I'm pretty different from my family other than, I mean, my parents, other than like, my mom's pretty positive, like, you know, just seeing her go through this cancer situation.

She keeps getting bad news lately and still is very positive. So I feel like I got that, which I appreciate. Yeah. Which is, it's nice to see my mom in that place because there was, in the past, there was a, sometimes my mom had a tendency to feel sorry for herself in hard times. And I did not get that trait. And I always wanted my mom to not go to that place. And it's been, if there is a positive to come from her situation right now, I think she is surprised her, even herself at the resilience. she's shown in it and there will be moments of feeling sorry for herself

but not in the wallowing way that she had done in the past she's definitely been rising to the to the resilient stage of this journey that's incredible yeah so I'm proud of her for that

my I would say I get probably I get a little defensive my dad I think I have a little bit of like we don't want to get in trouble that there, I have realized that there are, I have experienced people in my life that where I feel reprimanded sometimes. And I, and I, that defensive thing kicks in where I am just like, I'm not trying to like defend myself, but there's something that triggers there that I'm just like, I didn't do anything. Yeah. What, what, you know, like a child, and I get a little bit of that from my dad, like, why are you, what, you know, and it's interesting as an adult to, like, see that quality in yourself where he was like, ah, I want to work on that.

Yeah. Because if you did, you know, I didn't do anything, but I don't need to defend that. Yeah. You know, just like, be an adult about it. I'm like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. But I turn into like, well, I didn't.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, people, I think that's pretty common on some level where, you know. But I get what you're saying, like, yeah, you want to handle it differently or. Yeah, it's like when you feel like you've been reprimanded and you're an adult, it makes you feel like a child. Yes, yeah, yeah. So then my response becomes childlike.

Yeah, and then you lose credibility. Exactly. Like the coolest most zen thing to do is be like, oh, that's your experience. Yeah, yeah, like just just having the like wherewithal to know I didn't do that. Yeah, like, I don't have to be like, ooh, ooh. Oh, I didn't know you were doing that. That is something to work on. So I think I got that from my dad.

I'd love to see you and your dad in a different. offensive argument. Yeah, just back and forth. Because he was married to my mom who was a strong woman and he would, I could, he would feel reprimanded by the way they, their dynamic was. And, uh, and I saw a little, I saw a bit of that in myself. And I was like, oh, interesting. Yeah.

I think from, I think of a lot of positive things to, for sure. But then negative, I think like a general sense of dread. like a sort of like at any minute something could go wrong and there's there's like a physical tension in my family maybe like like like that we're not even aware we're doing as a family just like we're holding our fists tight and we're like we forget to take a deep breath and we all like as a family should be doing primal screaming kind of in the desert so maybe that but then yeah of positive stuff. Well, they're very clever. My parents said that I think I'm quite in my head. Like, we're a very thinky family and not very connected to our bodies sometimes. Like, we're all

up in our heads. So that's maybe, yeah. I wonder if they were listening to this. They'd be like, we're doing yoga every night. What are talking about? I mean, they do, yeah, like they are. We're very mindful. Yeah, yeah. Doing primal screen. dreams during yoga, of course. Yeah, they're like every night we scream and stretch. Yeah. But I do feel, I kind of only feel relaxed during a massage and, or during sex sometimes because it's like, it gets me out of my head.

But in a massage, I can go instantly to like a deep state of relaxation. And I know, I know my parents are like that too. It's like they're walking around like this and then you just. Then they have sex. I don't know about that. I don't know. Oh, I do. That's how you got here. That's true, God.

No, like the minute they... Tig Marie. Get a massage. That's right. I said sex. Yes, you did. S-E-X. Wasn't me this time.

Why aren't there three X's on the end of sex? Great question. Thank you. And where did that come from, like, triple X? I don't know. But if you're going to use that, throw it on the end of sex. Yeah. To complete.

God, I can't believe I just saw that. It's just been sitting there for years. That's your closer in your new hour. Yeah. Which is what your new hour is called, Not My Best. Not My Best. You know what I have to say?

Like, aside from my mother's pranks, I was raised by my stepfather from the time I was two. And he was very, things had to be a certain way. And there wasn't a lot of leeway with, like even when I was little, you know, and I'm so thankful that I married Stephanie and that we can parent together because I feel like she just out of the gate did things so differently than, and I often reflect on how I would have been as a parent if I was just doing it by myself. I probably would have been a little more rigid about things. You know.

That's so good that you balance each other. Yeah. And I just, I feel like I feel like I kind of go through life watching her parent and go, oh, right. That's how it should be done. Right. That's good. That's the best compliment. Yeah.

Well, you guys just had your 10 year anniversary. We did. We just, we hit our 10 year wedding anniversary. And we never seem to be able to line up being together on our wedding anniversary or on Valentine's Day. But, yeah, we always send each other flowers with, like, here's, we always, yeah, 10 years of Pure Hell. I'm looking forward to a lifetime of it. I love you so very much. That's what came with my flowers.

Oh, great. But anyway, yeah, I'm just, I feel very thoughtful. thankful that like when I watch her and how she kind of effortlessly and yeah because you think you would have absorbed that from your stepdad like yeah I think I would have been a little more not exactly like him of course but I think I would have just been like oh it has to be done this way or it has to be by this time or it has to you have to keep this particular schedule or routine or you know but like kind of letting go is it's such a better feeling yeah such a better feeling yeah of being like yeah what what is reasonable in this moment and actually does it have to be

that black and white or yeah i think if if i raise a kid i need to be with someone who's relaxed because i find like it's the safety thing for me like yeah i'm like if this kid gets hurt on my watch and it makes me neurotic but to be with someone who's like they know their own bodies they can you know I mean just to have the balance I think

because I don't know how people do it to be honest a kid climbs a tree I'm like get me to the hospital get me to the hospital yeah I think I would worry too yeah I mean look we our house is all about safety

and I and again Stephanie leading the way in the I would have, you know, there's the side of me that is a little casual in that, oh, yeah, I grew up in the back of pickup trucks and swimming in swamps and water skiing in swamps. And whereas Stephanie is like, yeah, let's reel that in. Let's not throw them in the swamp. Yeah, whereas she doesn't have, there's not a casualness around safety or anything like that.

It's more just like bedtime or when to turn the TV off. Like, you know, she's, she's very much like, well, when does the show end? Well, in 10 minutes. Okay, well, when that wraps up, then we'll turn the TV off. It's not like, it's 8 o'clock, the TV goes off, we go to bed, you know. It's, it's just nice. It feels more flowing and nice. Yeah.

Yeah. That's good. I like that. Oh, I did realize this is not like a personality trait, but I do lock the door. all the time because of my mom. Oh. Like when you're in the house? Mm-hmm.

Oh, interesting. Everything was like, it was like Fort Knox. Fort Knox. For locks. Yeah. That was too big a laugh for that, too. There's not one door that's left or a window open. Uh-huh.

I am always like, click, click, click. That's my stepfather, too. Mm-hmm. Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, you're going to think I'm kidding. I almost can't even say it. This man was a robot, okay?

He one time locked me out of the house when I was going to get the mail. Oh my God. Just as soon as you left. Yeah. And he said, well, you should bring a key with you. I was like, I went to get the mail. Yeah. Like it's, yeah.

So it's probably a little. little different than Fort Locks over there, but we were on full-on lockdown at my house. Our house was unlocked. It was Toronto. And like ever, no one locked their doors. I remember the, do you remember that Michael Moore documentary? But yeah, Bowling for Columbine came out. And he tested the theory that in Canada, nobody locks their doors. And it was true. And yeah, my parents' door was always open. But then I remember the time that that woman came into our house and took a nap in their bed. I'm like,

it sounds like it. I told that story on the pod once. Like a stranger came and took a nap. Who'd you inherit those beautiful curls from, Fortune? Oh, Fortune, okay. Not Tiggs curls. I don't know. Maybe my grandfather, my mom said he might have, I mean, it was straight, but when he

was born, his hair was curly. but nobody else had like a big curly head like mine. Wow. Oh, curly head. Yeah. Curly head. That's my nickname, old curly head. Oh, curly head, dumpster tits and a little cowboy.

All right, let's hear John's answer. Yeah. Oh, I didn't realize I had to answer the question too. And now my coward ass doesn't want to answer it. So I feel, I feel bad. about the, it's like, it's like more provocative and like exposing than I even really realized when I was asking and I have to be real. But I have backed myself into a corner here, so here we go. And I say this and I encourage you to do the same. I say this with so much love and compassion

for my parents. You obviously don't have to feel the same way for your parents. I, I would say, okay, so, you know, my parents are Southern. They are. they're both, they were at one point kind of ministers, Presbyterian ministers. So there's a kind of like, I would say there's like, it's, there's almost a pathological hosting quality, like a need to host that comes, a need to host and be friendly that comes from such a good place of like wanting people to feel. Um, to feel good. Um, but it's, it's, it's kind of me potentially, it's not just them, but it's like maybe turned me into a, a kind of hawk eyed, oppressive host. Um, that I, that I, I almost like, you know, out of, out of, out of, out of love, I almost kind of strangle my guests to death. Like, um, like, um, like of mice and men style, you know. I, you know, and then I would also say, like, my dad's one of the funniest people on earth.

And I've inherited his kind of the way that funniness can disarm people and make people feel good. But also, like, you know, it's also a way to avoid conflict, as I know everyone on this podcast knows. okay was that too tame I'm hoping to I'm hoping to arouse something kind of juicier in y'all's responses I'm sorry if I took the coward's path here but I love y'all

I honestly thought he was going to get to the end and be like talk about how he inherited the quality of rambling on I was like, that's what's coming, that's what's coming. But that was a good answer. I love that. I'm obsessed with the phrase, a hawk-eyed oppressive host is so funny.

That did make me realize that I over-explained things. I think I got that from my mom. Yeah. He talks a lot about, or I think I've seen him do stuff. Him and Cape Relant were on Jimmy Fallon. I think, and they were talking about, like, that southern, like, tension in the face of, like, every muscle in the face. Yeah.

Like, when you relax at the, yeah, yeah, very funny. He's just one of those people that's just funny to listen to no matter what he says. Well, this week is Thanksgiving. It's in a couple days. So this question does make me, when I'm around both of my parents, want to sort of study to see if there are other things that I have taken away from their habits as well

and do you all get together including your dad and brothers? This year we are I rented a house just you know again with my mom's situation I want to take these times when everyone can be together

to make the most of that yeah yeah and have you know these share some cool moments together so we're all going to come and and stay in this house together and yeah nice eat and is that going to be in belmont or nearby that will be in belmont yeah i have a show in charlotte friday night um and so the all my nephews will be there and and all yeah everybody it's going to be at your show or at the yeah all the stuff yeah we're making the weekend of it we're We're going to eat the Thanksgiving, go to my show in Charlotte, and then I think we're

going to go all go see Zootopia too. Oh, my God. It comes out this weekend as well. Oh, my God. Are you all doing stuff for Thanksgiving? I know, I know May's Canadian, but... Canadian, but I'll be thinking about gratitude for sure. Oh, good.

That's one of the things that I took from that therapy retreat was, like, really actively practicing gratitude, thinking every day about all the things I'm grateful for. It seems so wishy-washy and basic, but I think it's kind of a game changer just to before bed and in the morning think about all the things you're grateful for. Well, yeah, and to go back to Andrew's poem, Tincture. Yeah. I mean, to me, that really conjures up so much gratitude in my heart and soul. Grateful for the good, grateful for the bad, grateful for everything. Yeah. I really do, as I said on the show when I'm feeling cold, I think, man, Andrew would give anything to feel cold again, you know, those little things.

Yeah. Every part of the human experience adds to their richness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it feels like this Thanksgiving will be a more reflective time for all of us for different reasons. And it definitely is a time where I think the gratitude. It is high.

Yeah. And just, I think we're all more aware of it right now than usual. Yeah. Of course. Big time. Mm-hmm. Do you ever play that heads up with your family, or do you play games? I hate games.

Okay. Oh, yeah, I forgot that you hate. See, was that your stepfather coming out? I think my mother hated games more than just like, ugh, just put. like cards, like shuffle, and then this is your dice, and then blah, blah, blah, roll over here. That's such a funny dichotomy, don't you think? The, like, playful pranker that's been like, oh, games.

There's rules. Like, you have to take turns, and then you roll the dice, and then you move the thing, and then you pass go, and then you have to sit out for this one, and then you did it. And it's like, who cares? Put it away, and let's have a conversation. I hate games. Put it away. Let's look each other in the eye and connect. Oh, man. See, that's my nightmare. I love a game. Oh, God. I know you do. I think we're not like a game family, but we have played games.

It's a psychological game. That too. We have mind-fucked each other. Gasslet. See, I'd rather you play a. mind game with me then roll dice and move pieces and pass go and well like occasionally someone's like I've heard of this game let's try it and I'm like oh okay like we're kind of like we go with the flow we're our my family's eaters we're just eating the whole time we're like at like Thanksgiving the Thanksgiving meal talking about what we're going to eat for dinner the next night like right

you please spin the pie yeah just like everything is like and then our we'll eat leftover tomorrow and then we'll go out for this and then we'll like this. I love leftovers. That's nice. Yeah. I think I'm going to be filming. I think I'll be in my space suit on Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah.

So my family might fly out and spend it with me, but who knows? Cute. Cute. Cute, girl, cute. Yeah. Well, I love it. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I also love that I have a stand. up tour starting, you guys. Nice. It's called the, it, I didn't go with the, what was the name? Not my best. Not my best.

That is a good title. No, this one is called, this tour is called Out of Nowhere. So go to tignotaro.com and get your tickets for the out of nowhere tour, which this material came from, which everything comes from, out of nowhere. And also, come see me in the good light is available on Apple TV now, and that is the Andrea Gibson and Meg Falley documentary that I produced. And Starfleet Academy will be starting in January. So that's what I've got going on. I'm in Charlotte, North Carolina this Friday, and then in December I'll be in St. Petersburg, Florida, and Orlando, Florida, then finishing the year off in Norfolk, Virginia, Salt Lake City, Vancouver.

and then New Year's Eve in Seattle. And then right after that, New Orleans, Mobile, and Atlanta. Lovely, lovely. And I'm kicking off my first North American tour, end of February. And so those tickets are still on sale, 35 cities, and check it out. I think it's Maymartin. Dot net. Yeah.

And I'm always in L.A. doing shows as well. And check out Wayward on Netflix. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Let's get the, let's get it up to a trillion views. Yeah, man. Also go to handsomepod.com for all merchandise and share an episode. If you enjoy it, enjoy the show, let's build this handsome

community. Yes, please. And yeah, it's a really fun little group of people on this planet that follow the show. Make sure you, speaking of following, follow us. Subscribe, rate, review. And until next time, Keep it handsome.

Hansom is hosted by me, Tignotaro, May Martin, and Fortune Themster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at Handsompod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast.

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