Handsome - John Ross Bowie asks about time travel

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

John Ross Bowie (The Big Bang Theory, Stuart Fails to Save the Universe) asks Handsome a transportive question on today's episode! Plus Thomas reads from the list, "woofing it down," Tig meeting Mickey, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTube and HuluThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the handsome pod. I am Tignotaro sitting here with my co-host, and their names are May Martin. And Fortune Feemster. Oh my gosh, go to Hulu. Fortune just did a thumbs up. It's electric. It really is.

Wiki, wiki, wiki, wiki. Oh, yes. It's electric. I did. I do. That was early days when I couldn't believe that the two of you didn't know the electric slide. Still don't know it. Don't know.

What do you don't even do at weddings? Get married? But I mean, as a guest, if you're not, you didn't know the electric slide. You didn't know the Cupid Shuffle or the wobble. I don't know. I just jumping up and down. Yeah, we have pointing. I just get out there and I do this.

My style of dancing is kind of like a 12-year-old boy at a Blink 182 concert. Just jumping up and down like that. Oh, you should hang out with Max and Finn. They can't wait to go to, well, they can't wait to go to Blink 182 concerts. That would be a great concert. And Green Day. I'm a fun wedding guest. I don't doubt it.

Explain. Like, what do you do? I like weddings, especially. What else? I like them if they're, if they've got really good food. Uh-huh. So if long as they got really good food, I'm in a good mood. Uh-huh.

So if I've been satiated in that way, then I'm like, it's dance floor time. And then I'm like on the dance floor, getting everybody going. Oh, that is good. What happens if they have bad food? What is that look like? Sulking in a corner. Mm-hmm. Complaining to the bar and to the bruntle.

the wobble at one point. What is that? Wobble it and wobble it and wobble it and wobble it. Yeah, yeah. That's it? I don't know what that is. No, I don't know the, I can't, I don't know the whole song, but there's like a dance. There's a dance.

It's like a line dance. It's called the wobble. And you all do it together. Well, would you ever instigate a conga line? Oh, yeah. You would? Yeah, you're necessary. I started a conga line at my sister-in-law's wedding.

And I had her baby in the carriage. And I started a conga line with the baby carriage. And then I got a whole situation going on. Yeah, it was really fun. That's a fun one. My thing at a wedding is you'll find me like in the corner trapped with, but like by choice with like a strange uncle or second cousin. who's telling me like some weird stuff from their life and I'm just like, uh-huh, yeah, oh, wow. And are you interested?

Yeah, that's the thing I am. Yeah. Bless your heart. I like those sort of stragglers who are a little shy and then all the young people are dancing and stuff and they're kind of there like, yeah, I like that. You know what that reminds me of? It's a song that makes me cry every time I hear it. In fact, I talk about how much the song makes me cry.

And then Stephanie and I. dancing with me. Cheek to cheek. Wait, which one is it? Oh my gosh. I just pictured for the first time in my life, cheek to cheek like asses together. Oh my God.

Is that what that song's about? No. Well, we don't know. Okay. So we have a good idea though, May. That it's not about that. But we were in Colorado, as you know, over the summer. And we were walking past this tent at a festival.

Uh-huh. And this guy was alone on the stage. singing with his acoustic guitar, the exact song that destroys me. And I stood there and watched, I was like, Stephanie, this is the song. And I stood there just tears rolling down my cheeks. And it's, are you familiar with John Prine? Yes. Do you know John Prine's song, Hello in there?

No. I'm writing it down. Okay. Is this going to kill me? It'll kill you. But it's basically, it's kind of off of what you're saying. saying, May, is like the lonesome uncle that nobody's talking to, this song is about not passing by elderly people in the world and just stop and say hello in there.

And it just gave me chills just saying it. The way he sings it, because he's John Prine, and it just destroyed, thinking about elderly people, getting passed up. And just all you have to do is say hello in there. And they have so much. I'm tearing up. There's so much in there. Like they have this wealth of experience and all kinds of stuff to say. Yeah.

Yeah. And people just walk on by. But please, will you listen to that and text me after the show? Yeah, and tell me if it does anything to you? I think it will. Sometimes it's also just the tone of the melody as well.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I, God, I love John Pride and man, does that song destroy me. I cry a lot of weddings anyway. What was that? What was that? Just wanted attention. Yeah. Hello in there.

Hello in there. Wait, so your walls painted. Yes. It's looking behind Fortune in her new office. It's looking decorated, painted. There's a hand. Have this on your wall? Yeah, I do.

I do. Look. Yeah. There is. This is the framed Yep Picture of handsome Thomas just said

Can you describe what it is here? Oh for our audio listeners Okay So up So I just had my office painted So you're right May It's a new color A little grayish

And I had some memorabilia framed So in the corner over here For those listening Is When I did a show in I believe that was Louisville or was it Lexington one of the two

I think Lexington an artist drew this of Biggie it's him with a little crown and it has my show tour on it and I have our handsome pod poster that is the

our post our little thumbnail on our podcast up here I have a celebrity wheel of fortune It's my name in the Wheel of Fortune thing. That's wicked. This is one of my... Wait, why doesn't it say crashing my exorcist bike?

Did I tell you guys I'm going on it? Oh, on my exercise bike? I'm going on my bike. No, I love it. I need tips, fortune, because I don't really... Why is this only directed towards fortune? Oh, have you been on it? Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, of course.

Yes, famously. famously tigs crashing my exorcist bike I'm really worried that it's going to be like I watch that on repeat sometimes I'll rewind it I'm so scared that's going to happen to me that it's going to be like you just have to go with it because I found the board game

I didn't know I had the board game and so I think that's a good sign but I am scared it's going to say like the early bird gets the worm and I'm going to be like the early dick gets your mom or something I'm nervous Oh what's not live so it's not live?

Okay, good. And you can bet they're not going to have a... It's a live audience, but it's not taped. Yeah. It's not taped to live, but it's a live audience. But the board that you spend is a lot harder to spend than you would think. It's heavy. Well, not with those guns.

Thanks. These old things are, oh, maize. No, and yours. I wish you could spin it with your games. I know, right? It is, but it does. you're like, oh, man. Oh, sorry, Tigs showing her guns.

And be careful when you're walking around that little platform back there because I did it with Bobby Burke, who I love. And he was walking. Oh, nice, nice arms. Nice, tend guns. Take his flexing. He stepped down off of the thing and just like face planted. White out?

It's hard to see back there. So just be careful. Oh, my God. A friend of mine just slipped. in the shower and hit his head on a sink and got 17 stitches. It's like we got to be careful up there. You guys, we got to be careful. We have to not just out there, but in there, in your shower. Yeah. I am so careful when I am, well, as you know, my mother died from a head injury. Yes. And so when I am in hotel rooms, I do not just cat or any bathroom or I am not casual

about walking around. I take very careful steps. I think that's good. I do too. That's why I do it. I'm nervous because I got a barbecue guys, a nice, shiny guy. And I'm trying to, I want to be one of those guys that flips a burger. But I'm nervous. I've never had a propane tank like that around me. And I'm nervous about that. It'll be okay. It's not bad. No. Once you get the hang of it, it's fine. Yeah, but before you get the hang of it, it's not fine. I've already lit with the burgers on fire. Just YouTube. Just YouTube it.

Yeah. Well, I know to turn it on and off. Oh, then you're set. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Well, the worrying thing was the I left it. I thought I'd wrapped up. I'd clean the barbecue and then my friend Matt said, oh, buddy, you want me to turn off the pro paint ink? And I said, I did it already. And I gave him a hard time about it. he went and checked it was not closed.

You definitely need to close it. Yeah. Yeah. But like Fortune said, it'll be fine. Yeah. There's nothing to worry about, you know? Just loosey-goosey propane tank next to your house falling off a hill and fires in your backyard. I only work.

Normally the propane was just kind of leak and whatever, but where you live, people are starting fires. That's why I say make sure it's terrible. I got to be careful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I just have this image of myself as like a barbecue or like, but I, but I, After we get off this, I'm going to make dinner just for one person. Is that a time I might use the grill? Who is the person?

I'm going to use my grill tonight. You used your grill? I'm going to after we tape. Yeah, me too. Okay. So it's not weird to just make yourself a solo meal on a grill. Not at all. All right.

Great. Also, are we technically taping? Yeah, a good question. Wait, did I say filmy? No, you said tape after we tape. After we tape. We're recording? Yeah, that's more like it.

taping though. Are we? Are we? Can you see us? Is that what taping is? If you can see the person? I still thought we were recording. Video. Video is taping. Audio's recording. Really? No? I don't know. I'll back that. Yeah. Listen, we're the group that brought you wheelbarrow. Stephanie makes fun of me anytime I pick up my phone and I say, oh, I'm

going to tape this or whatever and she's like, show me the tapes. Yeah. So anyway. Do you guys collect points on your credit cards? Oh, yeah. Yeah. For sure. Big Tom.

Why, do you need some? Do you need some to lend you some point? Well, I only just got my first credit card. I've been just, I'm almost 40, but I've been just using debit. Oh, no. You've been missing out on so many. points. Yeah. So I got it, yeah, I got to start, I got to start doing this points thing. So you can use them to great advantage, but the trick to them is that you have to pay it off every

month because it's a high interest rate. Auto, I have it on auto. Yes. So make sure you always pay it down. Don't, don't, otherwise then you're just accumulating, you know, credit, a bad credit. Yeah. And at a very high interest rate. But they, some of these credit cards do have, like an expensive fee per year, but they have a lot of benefits to them if you get the right one. Is this a commercial? Amex.

It feels like it, but it's not. Okay, I have the Amex. Is it the silver one? The travel one. Is it the silver one? No, it looks gold. Okay. Then it's probably the Amex gold.

I don't know. I don't know what that one does, but the one that I have is really amazing for traveling. The silver one. That's what I want. I fly so much. I should be getting something. some points. I always hear people say, I got the flight on points.

Well, listen, it's an expensive credit card. It's like a year. It's like, it used to be like 500. Now it's like 800, but you get like $300 in airline credit. You get $200 an Uber credit. Guys, I'm scared our listeners have wandered away. I know. They want to know. And then there are hotels where if you book it through Amex, you can get noon check-in. You can get daily breakfast for two. $100 credit and checkout at 4. It's pretty awesome. That's valuable.

That's on top of just your regular points that you accumulate that you can also use for things. Let's go to commercial. What are you going to cook on your grill, Fortune? I bought some little tiny filet mignon's at Trader Joe's. I'm going to make one of those. Tiny. And a sweet potato. Oh, yeah.

Now is it a regular old sweet potato or is it a Japanese sweet potato? which is one of the highest nutrient dense. I do like Japanese sweet potatoes, but this is a regular one. Okay. Are you looking to increase your nutrient in? Yeah. Should I start doing more Japanese ones? Japanese is supposed to be the top top dog of sweet potatoes.

Yes. The inside of that is, is that the purple one or the white one? White. Okay. Yes, white. Oh, got it. The inside's white. Okay.

Yeah. But the purple ones are good. All purple foods are so nutrient dense. Really? Yes. Anything that is purple, shove it in your face. You think they would teach us that in school? That's such a simple.

Purple foods are good. This episode going from Amex points to nutrient dense foods. So dry. We're giving people everything. We're laying it all out on the table. Checking the Allstate First Could Save. hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that my camera's all ready to go before getting a photo with a celebrity I admire? I'm panicking. I'm a huge fan of this person and now I'm fumbling with

my phone as they edge away from me at an event. Hey, come back here. Yeah, check in first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. Could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. This episode of Handsome is brought to you by our friends at Wild Grain. Wild grain delivers sourdough breads and seasonal pastries all made by small independent bakeries. Everything baked straight from frozen in 25 minutes or less.

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Visit wildgrain.com slash handsome to get $30 off your first box plus free croissants for life. Again, that's wildgrain.com slash handsome for $30 off your first box and free croissants for life or use promo code handsome at checkout. I value my sleep and that's why I'm so excited that Blissie is sponsoring handsome. You spend about a third of your life resting your face against your pillow, so why not make sure that pillowcase is the best that it can be. Blissie's silk pillowcases are incredible. They help your skin, your hair, and they're so much better than cotton or satin. Blissie uses high quality, 100% pure mulberry silk that's breathable, hydrating, hyperallergenic, and handsome. On top of all that,

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Can you tell I'm tan? You are super tanned. We've all been showing our handsome guns. Look at my tan line of my watch. Okay, is that from a hike? A clear outline of an Apple Watch. That's crazy. Fortune, I didn't just hike one time.

I was off in the wilderness basically daily. all summer. Over the summer. And wore like a total, you know, floppy sun out of my eyes hat and, you know, protected myself as much as possible. But this still happened. Yeah. But, you know, we should make stencils that are like body stencils of the handsome pot or something. And then people can put them on when they're tanning.

And then they'll have a tan. Yes. And is it handsome? Yeah. Yes. That's a really good idea. On the list it goes, Mr. Thomas. That is one more thing we'll never do.

This long as list. We should release it as a book. Yeah, we should. Put it on the list, Thomas. I saw it. Someone was surprised that it was actually real. There is a real list, right? There is.

We've never seen it. We've never seen it. How long is it? It's real. Yes. It's on my computer. How long is it, Thomas? It'll be a book.

And it'll be our suggestions for other people to do things that we'll never do. And then people can send in videos of themselves doing, checking off all of this. And we still never have to do it? No, we do. Once somebody gives us a television show to, you know. Oh, yeah. We do need to have a TV show. Can somebody give us that?

I like the idea that we never pitch for one. We never try to ask for it. We were just like, someone better give us one. Someone just give us a TV show. And let us host the Oscars. Yeah, we're not going to ask, so they better go. We would like to host the Oscars and have a TV show where we do all the things on the list. Thank you.

People will watch it. I don't know why Hollywood is withholding our own handsome TV show that we've put things on a list into. And we are willing to knock them off the list. We should spend one whole episode, like before we talk to our guests, rattling off everything that's on the list and having a good cackle about it. Okay. I mean, I wouldn't mind hearing some of it now.

Let's hear it. Should we hear some of it? Give us a, give us just a couple. The very beginning when this, what was the first thing that we were like, put that on the list? I can't guess.

The first one I have is get drunk and do a show together. Oh, that's easy. That's real easy. That's nice. You know, when we do our hollybub. When we do our Holly Bob show this year, we can check that off. We can probably get to that. Okay.

Sometimes I don't drink, but go ahead, Thomas. What's number two? Maybe just have a drink. Okay. Yeah. Maybe I'll eat a sleep gummy. Oh, no. You need to awake.

You're forcing yourself to stay up. Yes. And you're forcing yourself on me. Okay, Thomas, what is number two? Go to the cheesecake factory. Oh. We can easily do that. We should do that and then go out to our show, drunk and, and, and, and, and, uh, handsome it up.

God, all these things are so achieve. I love the cheesecake. We know you do, girl. We must have talked about it at some point. Oh, God. Speaking of peanut butter, bitch, um, I am so on a peanut butter banana toasted bread kick that I can't stop myself. In fact, Stephanie and I have an event tonight where I have to like blaze real fast. Already made my peanut butter and banana toasted sandwich.

That's right. And I yelled at my whole family, nobody touch my banana peanut butter sandwich. It's wrapped in a paper towel. Don't touch it. Don't touch it. And then I ran upstairs to report. Your old peanut butter bitch right now. So are you going to wolf it down or like bring it in the car with you?

Oh, you say wolf it down. I say woof it down. Oh, wait, what? Did he say the same thing? I say woof it. You say wolf it. Yeah, what do you say, fortune? It's woof it down.

No. Two against one. Thomas, I'm pretty confident. I would say wolf it down. You say wolf. Oh, Canadian. Look, it's this side of the Zoom. Well, how are we going to find out?

Let me Google. Thomas is Googling. Thomas, what's next on the list? The next thing is get a massage together. This is so easy. Also, why did we want that? We need to keep Mae from being horny. Orch and Marie.

And so we go for a massage, then we go to the cheesecake factory, we get trashed, and we do our hands. What is it? We're wrong. You and I are wrong. It's our southern roots. It says the correct, according to this, the correct phrase is wolf it down. meaning like a wolf. I am so deeply embarrassed.

I just want to log off and go have my sandwich and wolf it down. But I always said woof it down. Me too. But that makes sense because dogs really go like, but I don't know if wolves do that. But what does the dog noise have to do with what we're talking about? Woffing it down. And did you also love how confident you and I were like, it's wolf? Oh, yeah.

Okay, what else we got? What else is on the list, Thomas? The next one we kind of did, which was have a handsome holly bob's holiday. Oh, we did. We did. What's next? Colonics. Okay.

That's the day after our drunken cheesecake factory. We want to do it together? I got a colonoscopy. Does that count? No. We have to get our colonics done together. In the same room? It's so intimate.

Well, so is this podcast, dear. Yeah, you're right. Yes, dear. Oh, that friend. I was supposed to pick Natalie Mains up from her colonoscopy today. She's still there waiting? She's waiting right now. With her ass in here.

But they were like three hours behind. Behind? Yeah. I still got it. So one of her other friends is going, but I felt bad because she picked me up from mine. So I'm going to take her out to dinner. to make up for it. What if we do our colonics, cheek to cheek?

Cheek to cheek. Yes. Cheat to cheek. Lady in red. Did Natalie wear red? I don't know. Texture. She didn't send me a picture of her colonoscopy.

Well, you wake up Loopy and you could easily be sending out pictures of your, you know. Of your behole in the air. For sure. Come again? Thomas, what's now? The next one is actually from our Natalie Mayne's episode. Oh my gosh. What a coincidence.

So magical. Take May or teach May to drive stick shift. Oh, yeah. I could easily do that, but we have to have access to a stick shift. And helmets. Yeah. And May is you're driving getting better? Well, how can I judge that?

But yeah, I think it really is. I mean, I'm driving so much every day. Have you still been driving into walls? No walls. I still get the odd honk. And the new thing, the new thing that's happened twice that's really worrying is, and it's happened twice, is someone honking at me at night. And then I realize my lights aren't on. Put them on auto.

I thought they were. And I don't know how to get it back on auto. I'm going to. And also then I don't know which is my high beams. And then when they are on, I'm like, sometimes I'll pull over and just check that they are on. Well, if it's on high beams, there's a little blue light that appears. Yeah. And do you have two levels of high beams?

Because I have two modes that have the blue light on anyway. But other than that, it's going great. I'm listening to my true crime. I love it. I'm driving around. Well, if you ever find someone with a stick shift, I'll teach you. I just sold my old car with a stick shift a few years ago. Well, sorry.

We should have done this a few years. ago. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I think I would feel really good driving stick shift. Oh, it's fun. Yeah. It's really fun.

You feel really one with the car. Yeah, like you feel like you're doing something. And you are. You're shifting gears. And your feet are doing this. And you go up in gear, the faster you drive. Uh-huh. Gotcha.

You can feel it when it's time to shift up. It sounds irritated with you. Because it's like, uh-huh. It's like, uh. It's like, uh. So then you need to get your shift up. Okay. Get your shift up.

I always did it as like because it's like one, two, three, four, five. One is like your start, your park. And then 20 miles an hour was, I always thought it was to 30 is three, 40 down and then five you're going faster. Okay. This episode. We're teaching specific people, specific things. I understand.

Is there anything else, Tomah, so we should know? I mean, there were a couple more from the Natalie Mainz episode. There was dress up like pretty little ladies for prom. Yes. And there was triple date with your male crushes. Oh, it's a must. Was that the pineapple apart episode? It might have been.

I wonder. It feels like a really fruitful episode. You know what I mean? And are these like celebrity male crushes? Or men in your life where you're like, you're my male crush. Celebrity male crush is we wanted to go for dinner. But I think mine's changed from Nick Offerman. I'm back on Javier Bardem in a big way.

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Who was yours, Fortune? Who was my Channing Tatum? Yeah. Wanted him to Magic Mike dance for me. Who was mine? Oh, Billy Cruttop.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's crude up. Crude up. I'm going to. Google it. Just kidding. Has yours changed for you, do you have a new crush?

Do I have a new male crush? I think that one's pretty solid. Have you met him? I have. He's very funny. Very nice. And did you feel magic between you two? Oh, yeah.

Definitely. Also, my love for Nick Offerman hasn't waned. I just suddenly became embarrassed with the idea of bumping into him and him having heard this. Do you know, Nick? See, me, I heard you on the handsome podcast. Yeah, exactly. Talking about me. Yeah. I think I need to pick someone more remote. I'm sure Megan will be in a rage when she finds out. Kick my ass. Yes. No, they would be flattered. They sure would. They'd probably welcome you into their fold. They would say, let's get that date going. Oh, my God. What a triad. I'd be really into that. Now, should we get to our question? Yeah.

Okay. I guess. My eye is basically closed. Is it not? I'm having crushed eyes. It's better than the other days, to be honest. Is it? It's a little better than last time, yeah.

I did this event over the weekend, and they had to take a picture of me for social media. And the guide I could tell was, what do you, what are you doing? Fortune. I just wanted you acknowledge my crushed ice. Are you drunk? No, continue. Okay. So I had to take this picture.

Oh, and it was for Disney. And I was taking pictures with Mickey Mouse. And of course, my eye, every picture the guy took was closed. And he was, the photographer was so uncomfortable. Because he'd be like, um, okay, should we do another? He's like, what if I turn you? Yeah. What if you hold your eye open?

Would you like to see me with a? That was that D23 event, right? Yes. Yes. You were on stage with Glenn Close. No way. And Neil Patrick Harris. Fun. I was hoping y'all were filming a new movie. Okay. Here I am with Mickey Mouse. Oh, yeah. There's nothing better than a Mickey photo. I do love that. Look at those bell bottoms. Yeah, I love your paint. Well, I was in character because Glenn Close came on stage as Cruella DeVille and me and Neil Young. That's not right. Neil Patrick Harris, it couldn't be more different. Me and Neil Patrick Harris were like flanking her as like the, yeah, yeah, and these kind of guys.

I really wanted this to be a sequel to her previous movie. Well, you know, backstage Neil said, what is your connection with Disney? And I was like, I don't know. I mean, I have a recurring character on a Star Wars animation show, but nothing. And then I Google myself. I'm like, what have I done with Zootopia? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Then you went to the bathroom, during. Anyway, you're seeing. It was a good time. That's funny. Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones.

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Amazing. It takes like years for these movies, but that was exciting. That'll be 57 when it comes out. I'll be getting my senior drink for free at that point. Yes, indeed. Do you think Manticke? our characters will be reprised. How could they not have y'all's characters?

They would have to. I get recognized from Zootopia all the time. All right, let's get to our question. I'm very thrilled about this, because this is a man who I really love.

Today's question asker is an actor, a writer, and a comedian who played Barry on the Big Bang Theory, and Jimmy on Speechless. He plays Barry once again on the new HBO Max show Stewart fails to save the universe. He was also in Feel Good. And he's my neighbor. He's your neighbor?

Not next door. No way. Yeah, he was in season to a Feel Good. We kissed in that show. Oh, my. And he was so great in that show. John Ross Bowie is asking today's question. Nice.

Hi, handsome. Question for you. I've been working on the show. Stewart fails to save the universe. It's a shameless plug. Explain to TIG what a television show is. And I've been thinking a lot about the idea of the multiverse. And I was wondering if there was a particular time period you guys would want to go back and live in. Oh.

I would assume we're allowed. And how dare you, John? How dare you? I'm assuming he means any time period in history, not just that you. you've lived through that you want to go back to. Yeah. Okay. Oh, man.

I know what mine is. Old timey days seem awful. I have always wanted to live in either like, you know, Western or pioneering kind of. Here's what I want. Yeah, I want to like put on some boots and walk into a saloon. Right. You know, hear you know, hear my boots clanking on. the the wood and swinging the doors open.

Yeah. Yeah. Tumble weeds and I wouldn't mind being a whore from back then. You know what I mean? In a whorehouse. Guys. Fortune. I swear.

Free. It's in every Western movie. There's a whorehouse. Okay. Well, not our little Fortune Marie. You are not the town whore. The town whore. Yeah, that's, I've, I've always had an interest in like, you know me, I love a bonnet.

Like a Billy the Kid type of days? I don't know, you know me. I didn't go to school. I don't know what year things start. Yeah, yeah, little house on the prairie, but also, you know, John Wayne times. Yeah, or like the good, the bad, and the ugly times. Like, would you be a cowboy in a bonnet? Oh, of course not.

Of course not. Here's the problem with me is if I get like tossed back in time as I am, I had spinal fusion and I can't ride a horse. So, yeah, I'm going to have to be in a wagon. Going to have to be in a covered wagon. But I think in this scenario, you're going back with a clean slate. Really? Okay.

I think so. We're old so. You're going back in time. Yeah, that's the thing. We're all pretty weird. If you're going back in time, why do you have a spinal injury? Well, because I was snowboarding. Oh, yeah.

I'm like, is the only, uh, like maybe the 90s, because any other time, there's so much, I mean, there's still so much inequality. I want to be before 2016, before Trump, but still in recent enough times that like, you know, people care about equality and stuff, Because I'd be curious to see other times, would I be spooked? I'd love to see, I love to see, like, 1969 would be pretty good.

Yeah. I'd like to live in the 90s, but as an adult, because I was a kid, I didn't appreciate it. And you're not going to join me with a bonnet. I wouldn't mind being your pretty little lady with a bonnet in a horse-covered wagon, stop a lot of more house to see a fortune. Yeah. Our horror, our local horror. What are y'all doing in here?

Wait, what's the accent? Not that. Y'all coming to here for a good time. You're going to have to leave your coins on the bar and your morals outside. I love her. You can have her. Hey. The 90s.

It felt like we're moving in the right direction. And I want to, I want that optimism. You could be a part of the real world. The original real world? Or season two in San Francisco. What about the real world little house? What about just the real world, am I right? Being the real world.

But Fortune, is that what you think of with the 90s? You went to the real world. Whoa. The real world, San Francisco. Whoa. I think of Nirvana. Pedro Zimuro. That's what I think too.

That's partly I'm like, I want to be a little. that unplugged Nirvana show. The grunge era? I don't like the unplugged nirvana. Oh, you want them plugged. Yeah, I'm like, look, why do I need nirvana unplugged? The whole point of nirvana is to plug it in and rock it so hard. Right.

And I am a massive nirvana fan, but hard pass on the unplugged. I didn't know. He was left-handed. Yes, he was left-handed. Did you see that documentary about? him that had all his drawings and everything that was amazing yeah yeah also the era of teupac true yeah fortune's speaking the truth right now and we're letner i kind of i want to go back to any time before i knew about the epstein files and that like i could still trust in some kind of

system that would... Yeah, but it's good you know now, so you're not trusting in those systems that are completely corrupt. But I feel so powerless. Like Woody Allen's making a new movie. And like people we know are going to be in it, I bet. It's crazy. Oh, fortune?

No. They just announced some cast fortune if you're in it. That's the show. A little whore on the prairie. Fortune, what time period are you wanting to be? being is it that? Well, now I've kind of wanted to be a little whore on the prairie. Oh, my God.

I want to be in that show. There's got to be a porn out there. Name that. You've got to touch weeners then. I don't want to do. I wouldn't have to touch weeners. I don't know about that. That's Fortune's porn is touching weeners with Fortune themester.

Touching with one finger. Oh, my God. Yeah. I forgot about that part. Touching wieners and porn. Yeah, I don't want to. touch weaners. Yeah.

They're probably not coming at you a lot. No. It's a dusty village. But in the Western times, it was slim pickings. Yeah. Yeah. I actually think I'd have been pretty popular. I'm sure you would.

Because I'd have been a big old whore. I don't know that we're allowed to keep saying that word. Really? Yeah. They're sex workers. But I guess we're talking about the times where they would have said. We're talking about the times of the westerns. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that movie? Best Little Whorehouse in Texas? Best Little Sex Worker House in Tejas. In Tejas. Is that how you pronounce it? What? Texas.

Yeah. I think I would like to be in the, I was, I'm torn between two eras, the 20s because I feel like that. You're a flapper girl. Like, yeah, it would be a flapper or in a nice tuxedo. Yeah. And I feel like they there were gays around doing their thing. Mm-hmm. And people didn't really care.

Marlina Dietrich and you're in Berlin and there's like cool queer. I feel like there was people were weirdly enough a little bit more freer as far as like. Was it the gay 20s? Being the gay 20s. They were like a little, they were a little bit freer to be themselves and drink and have a good time. and it was just like a little, like, less of like homophobic. As far as I know, I mean, historians could be like, I mean, gay are having a terrible time.

Yeah. A lot of people have a terrible time in different eras. But, you know, I feel like the gays were under the radar maybe. It was like a thriving subculture, I think, yeah. The thriving subculture was having a good time in the flappers. And then in the 30s, they all scattered like rats and were like, I'm out of here going into hiding. Well, then things got dark and scary times and wars and all that stuff. But that, so that's kind of intriguing or the era of the league of their own, the baseball, the lady baseball teams.

While the men were all the four. Oh, that was like the 40s. Like, I don't know. what year was that? If the men are at war, it's the... The men went to war, so the ladies got to go to work

on each other. That's right. And they got to play on the baseball team. So I would have loved to be on one of those baseball teams. Not in the skirts as much. Right. I would have been like Rosie O'Donnell.

Was she not in a skirt? She was in a skirt, but I just would have been very like, you know... I loved Abby Jacobson made the remake of that. show and they only did one season. It was so good. Yeah. Yeah, it was so, so good. Um, so I would have been into that where, yeah, the men are off the war, so I'm going to take care of the ladies. And you're having a lot of like lingering glances with each other. Yeah, there's just a lot of lonely women around

that just need a shoulder to cry on. And I would have just, you know, been there for them. Mm-hmm. Bless your heart. Yeah, bless your heart. Should we hear John's answer? I think we should since we asked him to submit. question. I was so nervous to meet him. He flew over to England to film and I was, I like barely acted and I was so nervous. And then he was so, when we met up. Because you like him on Big Bang? More like, because I knew what our scenes were going to be. Oh, I see. Yeah, I loved his, and his, when we read together, it was so good. But then we were into all the same, all the same niche nerd stuff. And he's a big like Beatles comedy nerd. And it was great.

Yeah. For me, even though I was technically around, New York and the 70s would be fun, but to do it as an adult, not as like a five-year-old. I think that would be really interesting just because I could go see, you know, talking heads and CDs. And that would be awesome. But, and rent was really cheap. It was also really dangerous, but rent was really cheap. That's my answer. That's classic John for you, always looking for a deal.

New York in the 70s was pretty dangerous down. That's like taxi driver time, right? Is the 80s when it turned around? Is that one that turned around? I can't remember. I feel like the 80s was when it was like being run by mafia everywhere. Okay. Imagine New York in the 60s where you get to stumble in to see like Bob Dylan playing

some little club and it would be good. And some of those famous lesbian singers, I bet they had a bunch of lady parties. Secret ladies. So you're looking for in every period, like the secret gay parties. Yeah. Oh, in the 70s? Or no, that would have been more.

Would that be more 90s? I think there's more 90s. Are you talking about Lilith Fair in Manhattan? Oh, Lilith Fair would have been fun. That would be fun. I didn't get to see it. I did. I would like to have seen it, but like get to hang out with everybody.

I was there. Sarah McLaughlin. What did you think? I loved it. It actually, surprisingly, never crossed my mind to go to it. But this girl I was hanging out with at the time got us tickets. We went and saw Lilith Fair together. And I was like, well, this is.

And actually, the chicks, they were the standout for me. I was like, this banjo. work that's going on. I mean, sign me up all day. Yeah. Yes. God, they were good. And yeah, it was, it was fun.

And I can't. Beth, Beth Olson. Oh, I can't remember her name. Side stage. She was doing a sign. I don't know if her name was that. Beth Olson. You know what the chicks are doing right now?

Getting a camera in one of their. They wanted. They wanted to do more intimate shows. So they're doing a tour where they're just playing theaters. Oh, nice. And they're only playing songs from their album, like a particular album. It's the one. Which album?

It's the one not ready to make nice. Oh, that's good. And so the whole show is that album. And it's in like a very intimate theater. I thought that was such a cool idea. So this is a pretty cool experience for people. But I think they're going to try to do it on a lot of if it goes, well, it's already sold out most places,

but I think they might do it with some other albums. When is it? I think it starts September, October. Okay. Well, I'll be in L.A. Get us some tickets. Get us some tickets. I'm busy in November because.

Why? Thanksgiving. Why? No, I found out that I got, I begged, I got my publicist to reach out and I did get two tickets to Alanis Morrisette's stage show. In Vegas? She's not going to meet you. So your whole month of November, you're going to be doing that? I've got to prep.

I got to get in the zone. What does that look like when you prep to meet Atlanta's? Listening to our albums, going to the gym, you know, getting spiritual. So wait, you got your publicist to get you what? tickets to her show because it's a hot ticket item. Is this the Vegas one? Butterfly with the machete. I don't really know much about it.

I think it's like a one woman show. Like a that's with her music in it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why didn't she send out invites? But where is it? It's in L.A. Oh, in L.A.

Yeah. But maybe one she's in town because she's just doing a short run here. Let me put it on my calendar in case she wants to meet up with me. If you and me. If you show up. I'm going to put that on my calendar. You know what? Fortune, we should hang out with Alanis and Paul McCartney.

On the day that I go to that show, and I'm literally, I mean, I met her with you, Fortune, and then you were the chosen one. Oh, I remember. It almost blew up the podcast. If I'm watching the show and I'm in heaven, I'm right in the front, and then you walk out on stage. No, this is a planned stage show, so it's, I don't think there's any room for special guests. I think you never know. I think we know. At the very least, I'll have to go see Alanis before or after the show.

She'll be like, all right, everyone but May, meet me backstage. We're teasing, little cowboy. But while she's in town, we should try to get her on the pod. She'll be in town, I'm sure, for like a week or two. When is it? Second week of November, I think. Or first week, it's like November 5th, 6th, so. Oh, I'll be here because my L.A. show.

I'm doing my own L.A. show November 7th. Maybe Atlantis wants to come to my show. Well, cancel her show and come to here. No, no. Oh, because she's going to be performing. Will she be performing on the 7th? I don't know. There's no one.

I'm at Largo on the 6. I'm going to have to reach out to Patty Guggenheim and tell her to tell Atlanta. She needs to move it. Yeah. Yeah. For real, Atlanta's, if you're listening.

And she is. Roll through November 7th. At my L.A. show. No, I thought you were saying roll through the podcast. Oh, and the podcast. There's an open invitation for Alanus to be on the handsome pod. Yes. You mean in person with us.

In person, yeah. Yeah. She's the only one that has an open invitation to our podcast. Honestly, we've invited nobody else to be on our podcast as far as an in-person guest. Atlanta is for the love of God. Or Ginger. That's Atlanta. Ginger does have an invite.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. Can I say, you know, you said the John Prime song will make me cry. Can I say a song that is killing me these days? Oh, yeah. It's called Gentle Like the Drugs by Charlotte Cornfield. Cornfield.

She's Canadian. Sounds Canadian. The chorus. Oh, my God. And it's just simple piano chords. I've been trying to learn it on the piano and just playing it. You don't love it. Do you know what song's making me sad?

What? Like anyone would be. Oh, hell, yeah. I'm flattered by your fascination with me. Brandy Carlisle's been singing that one. I sounded a lot like both of them combined. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Well, no fascination with me. Exactly. Thomas how's your how's your little dog doing? They're both doing great my dog that I adopted is in her crate because she can be a little naughty as she's not supervised

Are you projecting Did I'm a little naughty when I'm not super nervous Thomas you've been naughty Nottie little boy All the carpet in our house Yeah Yeah Don't we know about chewing carpet

I don't get it. I don't get it. Anywho. I don't get it. Anywhozers. All right. I'm going to launch into where I'm going to be because this podcast just ended and I don't mean the episode.

We are never ever doing this again. We are. We're coming back. September 9th, I'll be in Iowa City. And then I'll be in Des Moines and Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Chico, Olympia, Fresno, Napa, Wilmington, Delaware, Terrytown, New York, New London, Connecticut, Colorado, Colorado, Steamboat Springs, Basalt. also always can catch me locally at Largo or Dynasty typewriter in Los Angeles. And you know what?

I've decided I'm going to change my local show in L.A. So take note, folks. It's going to be a surprise whether it's going to be stand up, whether it's going to be a talk show, whether it's going to be crowd work, whether it's going to be a variety show, But whether I stand on stage alone and just sing songs. Why do I feel like it's going to be that one?

So it'll be whatever you want it to be. It is a real mixed bag because I just, I have a few different ideas for shows that I want to do. And sometimes I just don't want to do stand-up. And I want to do a circus situation. Yeah. Without animals. Did you hear about the clown accident?

No. It was intense. I knew that was coming. See, I didn't. I turned red. I started blushing as I said it. Can I tell you? Because you delivered it and then you went,

Go to Hulu. Here's the thing is, if anybody says to me, did you hear about? I just assume I'm about to get great news because I'm still off Instagram. And so I'm like, What happened? I'm so curious to hear.

I'm so curious how many big things I have missed. So many. Have I? Imagine if people don't listen to the part where we plug what we're up to, they would miss the big clown joke. That's right. So that was intense. Yeah.

I've got nothing coming up except I'm locally at Largo all the time. And I'm just writing at the moment. But check out social media to see what's coming up. Or you can always stream my music. That's helpful. Or watch, feel good to see John Ross Bowie. Yeah. Well, I'm on the tail end of my tour.

So all I have left, starting with Boise, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Texas, Chattanooga, Dayton, Ohio, Louisville, Madison, Wisconsin, Durham, North Carolina, Oakland, Bakersfield, Santa Barbara, and Los Angeles, and Palm Springs, California. and then filming my special in Denver, Colorado, and then capping it off at the Ryman in Nashville. Love it. Yeah. That's exciting stuff. It's very exciting. Also, go to handsomepod.com for merchandise,

and please subscribe, rate, review, wherever you get your podcast. Go to YouTube, sign up there. Check us out on Hulu a day before. You can get this magic. magic one day before. One day more. No, one day before.

Anyway. One more day. One more time. Please share this episode. This is probably your favorite episode if you're listening. Oh, and if you want to know about credit card points and things like that. Do I have the episode for you? Yes.

Share this episode with your friends, family, loved ones, your enemies, even. Bring them in to this community. Share it with your enemies because they have great taste in podcasts. Yeah. And until next time, Keep it handsome. Hansom is hosted by me,

May Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod. And please follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast.

That was a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I got a little snack with me before I leave the house? My stomach and I are grumbling. I thought I'd be able to grab a bite between meetings and now it's getting late and I could really use a candy bar. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for an auto quote.

It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Illinois. Hi, I'm Nicole Byer. Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda. And this is the podcast, Best Friends. And we're here at HeadGum. So this is just a podcast where we just talk. We're best friends. Yeah. We talk. And then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries. So audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities.

Yes. We are professional friends. professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, pocketcast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing.

You were. I'm really sorry. I felt the support. I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. Yeah. But I was like, I don't know, reading seems pretty hard right now. It's a lot.

I think you did good. Thank you so much. You're welcome.