Handsome - Judd Apatow asks about breakup dialog

Episode Date: October 13, 2026

Judd Apatow has made countless funny movies... so of course he has to ask Handsome a cinematic, hilarious, and heartbreaking question on today's episode! Plus Mae tries out turquoise, Fortune's fish taco fiasco, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTube and HuluThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the handsome pod. I'm May Martin. I'm Tignotaro. An unfortunate fiendster. There's a lot happening. Yeah, we... And yet nothing. And yet.

And nothing. May has grace to... with a color palette. Very unusual for me. And I... Go to uhaul.com. I'm wearing a turquoise. I basically I buy

vintage t-shirts that have... That's vintage? Yeah, and that have things on them that I like and want to wrap, and this is just a Toronto t-shirt. It looks very clean. Does not... What? Vintage, when? The 90s. But I wonder if no one wore it.

Well, I know why, because A, it feels like kind of polyester. We made May put it on. You guys were like, you never wear colors. This would be great. And I look like a toddler, I feel. And it's what, what's talking about looking like a toddler. You know what? You're right. I don't think you look like a toddler. Well, May, well, May came in with all of their dry cleaning. Yeah. And we saw this beacon of bright turquoise. Yeah. But put that on. I'm curious how it'll affect my mood. As soon as I put it on, I knew I will never wear this again. I wonder how it's going to affect your sex life. I know. Yeah. That's what I'm worried about. Well, I ordered, I, I had it altered because I thought maybe that would make me like it if I just cut it, made it a little shorter.

And it still despise it. Because you alter a lot of your teas. All my teas have to go like an inch and a half, up at the hem, usually. Well, and then TIG pointed out my shirt. You're also wearing a toddler shirt. Such a toddler shirt. It's got a little dinosaur on it. Oh my God. Do you remember the last time we saw you in person. Oh, it was the onion shirt. The onion shirt. And like, it was a weird collection. Papers. Yeah, papers.

So this t-shirt is, got a little tiny dinosaur in the middle of it, which, yes, I've never worn a shirt with dinosaurs on it. I would wear that. It's cute, right? It's cool. Or a toddler. It's called, there's a name for one of these tea, a drop shirt? Is that what?

A drop shoulder. It's drop shoulders. It's one of those T's. Wait, what is that? Whatever this is. Like the shoulder is dropped down a bit. And it's like kind of boxy. Yeah, I like it. It's big and it's very thick. Yeah.

So I went to, I had shows a bit ago in Wilmington, North Carolina and I went into the shows. What do you do? I am a stand up. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. And this coffee shop, hidden grounds, shout out, they were, the guys and gals that worked in there were so lovely.

I bought a coffee. and they're like, we want to give you a shirt. And they go pick out a shirt. And their whole thing is like dinosaurs. That's their coffee shops thing? Yeah, all their shirts have dinosaurs on them. Whoa, okay. And so I was like, I never wear brown.

And they were like, I think that's the one. I wish I was wearing it. It's cute. Why are you nice trade shirts right now? Oh my God, I would never fit in May shirt. It would suit your eyes in those golden locks. I do rock a color very nicely. It's wild to me.

And I'll probably, like, last time we recorded... Wait, what's wild? Just wearing this. If you get uncomfortable at any point, you can change mid-show. We will do a topless. We should do a topless episode. Jinks. Girl, I don't be high-five.

I forgot I don't high-five. If I high-fived. It would have been full contact. Oh, my Lord. And I don't want TIG to feel left out of this conversation. Tigg looks like she's come straight out of the outsiders movie. Yeah, collar-pop. A pony boy.

Looking cool as hell. Who played Pony Boy? Tom Cruise, baby. But that's what I mean. No. No, he was Soda Pop. I don't know. Soda Pop?

I'm going to Google it. Oh my gosh. Oh, no. Pony Boy was the Tim somebody? Timothy? Hold on. I don't know. Y'all talk amongst yourselves.

I was just in New York and I saw that the outsiders was playing there on Broadway. I saw Rocky Horror on Broadway. Wait, this is going to be a weird question. Did Angelina Jolie produce the outsiders? Produce the play? Mm-hmm. Oh, I couldn't tell you. Google that up too.

You guys, I can only Google so much at the time. Who plays Soda Pop and the Outsiders? Rob Blow. Rob Lo. And then we gotta say who plays Pony Boy. Those guys did well, huh? They should all right for outsiders. Who plays?

Because the original I said Tom Cruise, so we're gonna see if I was right. No, that would see Thomas Howell. Was Tom Cruise? He was in. Oh, speaking of Thomas, Thomas is not here today. Oh, yes. Rest and peace.

Rest and peace. He has fallen ill. He's listening live. He's the flu. We're graced with Sean. Hello. Hi, Sean. Happy to be here.

Happy to have you. Just so you know, Tom Cruise played Steve Randy. Oh, I would have never guessed that. Steve Randy. Thank you for that. Stee. Randall, sorry. A Randall.

That's enough out of you, Sean. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Look how scared I was. I'm just kidding. I don't want any trouble here. Not with the outsiders. Wait. You wanted me to Google what about Angelina?

Oh, did she produce the outsiders? The play? On Broadway? I don't know. I've never heard that. I feel like she won a Tony. Stephanie told me. Oh, really?

I think maybe I've made things up, but I feel like she wanted Tony for producing something on Broadway. Yes. She is a lead producer for the Broadway musical adaptation of The Outsiders. Whoa. I mean, look at me all Hollywood Broadway.

Somebody's coming in with facts. Yeah. So I saw the Rocky Horror Show on Broadway, which I deeply love. And man, it was good. And Jake Shears from Scissors, played Frank and Furtor. And you just saw this? Yeah, on Sunday. Wow.

So I was with Parv and Ama. We were there for just the weekend because Parv had like a survivor event. And then... I need you dressing costume? No. I didn't, but it was at Studio 54, like the iconic Studio 54. So that was cool, just picturing all the debauchery and stuff. It's like a very, there's an energy in that building.

And then, oh, man, I was like. A Coke energy? The whole weekend I was, yeah, real Coke energy in the building. I was like just fanning out the whole week. Because the Survivor event was heaven to me. It was like Richard Hatch, the first ever winner was there. Jerry Manthie, who doesn't. Jerry Manthy was there?

You're joking, right? You did not know one thing about Survivor. If you know, you know. I know who Parvety is. Parvite is there. We only know about Parvety is because of May. Oh, well, exactly, but I know. You know John Lovett?

I do. I know John Lovett. I do. I know Mike White. These are all three people I know. But that was amazing. And then the next day, they went on to Montreal, Parvinaama. And then I was like, you know, I'm going to push my flight a few hours later so I can go see a matinee. because I really want to see the show and I was really glad I did.

Oh, that's awesome. Jake Shears was so good as Frankenfurter and I had, I was like, fan. Were you emotional? I actually, it was like goose bumpy, the opening cords. Are you emotional right now? I could get emotional talking about it. No, I feel pretty regulated, but man, it was good. And then Montreal, I went to, well, you know how you feel about Mountain Goats, TIG?

I do know how I feel about them. Yes. You could get emotional almost talking about. No. No, I feel like, talk about a Coke vibe. Yeah. It ramps me up like I'm on co- I've never done Coke. Yeah. But I'm like, have you seen a mountain goat walk on a wall?

That's what I'm like about things I'm a fan of. And I was pretty coked out energy-wise over. I went to the biodome and they don't have a lot of animals there, but they have all these ecosystems in Montreal. It's like the buildings that they built for the Olympics. And I saw penguins, which. It was the thing of business goose. I saw business goose.

That thing that you said about someone's feeling like you're on acid when you look at an animal, it was like that otters, guys. They were playing, they were cuddling, they were right up close. They were like, their little faces. Aw. Oh. They're like little otters. They're like all right. They're just like otters.

They're just like otters. Did you see any beavers? Yes. I didn't see a bee. Orchua. No, I played. beaver in Zootopia too that's why I was asking I played a bear in Zootopia I know do you feel an affinity with bea I do now yeah but I guess I always have I've always been a fan yeah you have you

yeah ever in a way the eager beaver I feel like I want my life's I was sent here from space wait is this true like yeah like my life's lesson to learn on this earth is how to transform from beaver energy to otter energy, like, from the like sort of hunched over, like, like, obsessive. Isn't that everyone's mission? Yeah, everyone, we got to become otter energy. Yeah. You oughter become otter energy.

You oughter become an otter. I am. Nice. Back. You were back. You were back, I never love. I am back. Yeah, it was really good, though.

Yeah. No, I'm Steve. Randall. Randall. No, you're a pony boy. That's a much better name. Yeah. Now, you texted me the other day that Parvety met Rebecca from ghosts.

Yeah, I don't. Am I allowed to say that? Well, yeah, probably. Yeah, Parvety, well, did a thing and got to, and met your friend from the CBS sitcom ghost. Okay. And do you know how I met her? How? I was on a flight.

Yeah. And a woman was sitting next to me. This was when everyone was masked up. Uh-huh. And Rebecca has serious red hair. Yes, bright red, early. A nice head of hair this woman. Oh, yeah.

We were in the first row of the plane, sitting next to each other, mind in our own business. Every single person that walked on to this plane went, I know you to her. And I was like, what the hell is this? And every It's a popular show I understand this

Yes Okay I did not know who was sitting next to me And I was truly like You were like is it Susan Sarandon Who is she's wearing a mask? Well first of all What about me? Yeah

No But people would come on They'd be like I know that hair Even with that mask on I was losing my mind But I would drug me nuts Yeah

And so Yeah I snapped a picture of her and I sent it to Stephanie. I was like, who the hell is this? And she was like, I don't know. I'm going to send it to Lauren Labkus, you know, because she knows all pop culture. Lauren's like, I don't know who this is. And then I go on the Tonight Show.

Oh, I was headed to New York to do the Tonight Show. And that was what I did in the segment was I said, I was on this flight. Who the hell is this? That was your bit. Yeah. And so every. from the internet starts like, you know, coming at me like with, like, what is your problem? This is so obvious. And you read every single comment. Did she reach out to you? Were people

tagging her? Yeah. But then Jimmy asked me to come back the next day when I was flying home. Oh, funny. To reveal who it was. Yeah. And then I was in D.C. lobbying. As you do. And Rebecca was there. Okay. And so. Had she heard about it? Was she like? Oh, yes. Yeah.

Oh, she wrote me on Instagram. Yeah. And then we became friendly on Instagram. I think this is how it happened. Yeah. That sounds about right. Yeah. Yeah.

So when you sent me that, I was like, oh, yes, I do know Rebecca. That's funny. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, and when I did, when I turned, when I returned to the tonight show, the next night, they wanted me to show up. because I really was about to leave town. Yeah. They wanted me to show up.

They put a neck pillow. Oh, that's funny. Bringing my suitcase on. That's funny. And Jimmy was like, I'm sorry. I just, you know, I had to know. Yeah. Yeah.

Cute bit. Would you guys live in New York? I was, we were staying in Times Square. Like, it was an assault on the sentences. It was so intense. I hate staying in that area. Oh, it's crazy. Yeah.

It's like when people come to L.A. and they see. day on Hollywood Boulevard. When I first came here, I did that. And I thought, I can't do this. That is adorable. I was like the Walk of Fame. I was right there.

Like, we had a hotel right behind it. And I thought, this is hell. And when was this? I got a part of the flight attendant. Oh, yeah. I came out to film it. And then I ended up moving areas because I was like, this is crazy. So you put yourself up on Hollywood Boulevard?

I think they put me in a hotel. And you were like, just behind it. Or be honest. I said really honest. Did you say, make sure can you put me in a hotel

on the Hollywood Boulevard? I don't know which hotel they put it the W. Is it the W? Yeah, I think it might be

the W's hotel. It was a couple blocks behind, like, but I leave the hotel walk a block and I'm right there. All right there in the urine.

Yeah. In the peace going with like Marilyn Monroe impersonators. I would like to live in New York for like a month doing filming something. Yeah.

But then I don't want to live there, though. It's too crazy for me. When I was watching Rocky Horror, I did have a moment where I thought that I know my life dream is to be in Rocky Horror on Broadway. I could see that. I would need it to happen. Okay. Well, let's put a vibe out there into the world. Yeah.

Dear, dear God. Dear Lord. Dear Lord. Dear baby Jesus. I don't know what part I would play because there's like, I always thought I would play Rocky the creature. But then the guy playing him is like the whole point is he is so ripped and mushy and confident. Not like this. You could be in like half a minute.

I would dedicate time to it. I would dedicate time to helping you get to that. I think I have more of a broad energy. I'm a cheeseburger while watching y'all dedicate time to it. This episode of Handsome is brought to you by our friends at Wildgrain. Cozy season is here, which means cooler temperatures and warm. ovens. It's the perfect time to enjoy fresh-baked breads and seasonal treats at home. Everything baked straight from frozen in 25 minutes or less. And right now, Wild Grain is celebrating

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other Tim's part. Barry Bostwick. That's what I meant. He's like, hi, I'm Brad Majors. I was saying of Susan's my fiance. Ex-husband. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Anyways, I think I gotta do it. And I got to, that means I have to learn to use my voice. Because even when I sing serious music, I'm holding back. Don't hold back, bud. I can't get over your little tiny baby

May video where you were just singing your little heart out. That was crazy. You never guess what a child star. You did. I felt like you could have like a dance mom bossing you around. Yeah. Like you had what it took at that age.

I took it deeply seriously. Of fortune. I'm over here talking to May. This is May's little moment. It's not, oh, I'm not part of this. No. Okay. We will cut to you in a second.

I'm just not expecting that side of you. I know your. musically you know you're like May Martin thing now as a singer but the try hard musical theater side but the little tiny baby May

that was just singing your heart out of watching funny girl and being like I want to be that yeah you wanted to be a star of the stage yeah I don't know what happened I went inside myself somehow we're all just trying to get back to

what we were like as kids right dinosaurs wouldn't you rather be what you are now than Babs? No, I had kind of an awakening watching Rocky Horror where, particularly Frankenfurter, I was like, is it in me that I could like belt out a tune on Broadway?

Like really go for it. I don't have the, but I'd have to train my voice. We can do it. Shall we? Yeah. We shall. Get the cheeseburgers ready. Get your cheeseburger and you can.

Not for you. Thank you. And what's going on with you? Yeah, what's going on? Gosh, what's going on with me, you guys? Um, I'm just on the road and hanging with my mom here and there. And my life is not very exciting at the moment. We're not looking for excitement.

We just want to know what is going on. I'm going to film my... What the hell is going on? Oh, yeah. I'm going to film my fourth hour special. How are you feeling about that? I'm excited for that. Is the material still reflective of where you're at when you wrote it?

Like, is it still evolved? It is. I talk about... a lot of it's about my mom and that situation, but a lot of it's also childhood stories. But yeah, this is, I get a little earnest in a way that I've never done before, so that's kind of different for me.

Right now I've got to figure out what I'm going to wear. Oh, girl, can I help? Girl, please. Do you have a stylist? I do, so I probably should enlist her help, but I can't decide if I want to go suit again. You should go brown dinosaur Drop shoulder

Brown Dino No but I like Unlike May I do want a nice pop of color Yeah So I don't know Do I go blue suit this time That would be nice

Haven't you blue suited? I did pink suit What you did before that It was like a bomber jacket Okay yeah Green bomber jacket And then the one before that Was a black bomber jacket

Then when I went color It was like you know A real nice pop Yeah Yeah So I'm like do I I do the pop again with the color. You just want to feel totally yourself and confident.

I always fuck up. And like the one I just filmed that I'm editing now and I'm, I can see I'm not fully. Really? The t-shirt was too tight and I keep adjusting it. Would you? What, it was just a t-shirt and jeans? It was a t-shirt and jeans. It was like a new t-shirt that was a little tight.

Oh, a new one? Yeah. Yeah, I kept. And how, and so you're sitting in editing right now? Yeah. And are you happy with it? How are you feeling? I don't know actually

And it's the first time I felt that Probably about anything Like you just can't Decide if you're into it or not I Ambiciously was like I'm gonna put an improv set in it

And the song And you did improv alone No with Matt We do a set And I don't I just have to make sure The edit's right You can't cut anything you want too though

If it doesn't work Including Matt I mean honestly If you feel like If you watch it and you should have other people weigh in. That's what I know. I'm too inside it. If it's not working, you can take it out. I mean, I like it, but there is something about watching

filmed improv where you guys should I. Like, bud, I got to tell you something. You can cut. Hollywood's a tough biz. I'm okay. editing myself in like a scripted thing. I'm totally fine. But something about watching myself to stand up is like, you see all your verbal tics.

I'm like, why am I. It's tough to watch yourself over and over and over again like that. I'm saying like so much. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You just watch it. You're like, why that? Yeah.

But I've never, like, do you ever, I only ever write bullet point set lists and stuff. So I've never sat down. You do, word for word. Word for word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think.

I know. I can. I know. Every single time I hear. 13 page script. Wow. Page one. Yeah.

Well, it's also to, for my own reference, there will be, there will, be times where I'm like, did I already say this? Oh, you were saying that. That's a good idea. Yeah. And then you can get the wording just right too. Yeah. Yeah. I like the show. I like the content, but I might chop it.

Big fan, huh? How long is it right now? Like over an hour. Yeah. You could cut that. Yeah. How long is the improv segment? Well, it could be as long or short as it needs to be. Each show, I filmed the show twice and so each time

we did like 15 minutes and so I'll probably cut it down to the 10 best minutes. It's more like does it feel like when you watch it filmed and edited you're like it should be incredible then and it is it's good but it's just improv it's like you know what I mean

and so in a Netflix special context you're like you should have some people weigh in I think for sure and also as long as it makes sure it still flows where it doesn't feel like abrupt like, all right, now this. Yeah.

And then now back to this. I might feel abrupt if I take it out, though. That's another. You could also ask to see it what it looks like. I think we should edit this conversation. Yeah. Yeah. We're just giving people a little peek behind the curtain.

Yeah. It's, yeah. But do you find yourself sitting back and like having a chuckle? Like, this is good? Was the audience good? Were you happy with them? The audience was great. I don't know.

I like all the big stories and set pieces. Yeah. But I think in my head I thought I want to keep this as casual as my tour show was and make it feel really like kind of messy and intimate. And then watching it edited, I'm like, I wish it was a little more polished or something. Yeah. So, you know. Well.

But that's the edit, I guess. Yeah. That's what you got. Yeah. What if I just ADR? I state the whole thing is just on my back the shot of the audience Also and another thing

Yeah And really to summarize It keeps cutting from you from my eyes I had ADRed Something into my special Did you? Yeah It was very minor

I had named my special It was the next Netflix special It was my happy to Happy to be here special Yeah. And I had named it something else. And I was on a walk one morning. And I was like, it should be called Happy to Be Here because it felt like after my previous specials where I was.

Yeah. And also it's such a thing of like walking on stage and being like, I'm happy to be here. I was like, that's the title. And when I went back and looked at the footage to see, do I walk out and say happy to be here and then I say it's good to be here and so ADR smooth happy to be happy I just say happy

I like that nice yeah that's good go back and look at my Netflix special happy to be here and know that I said good to be here we hear the different tone of your voice yeah happy happy to be here happy happy

I'm trying to look into taking my mom on a gay cruise again. Oh yeah she loves that. She's not gay but she loves the gays. And so I'm trying to, I don't know if it'll work out, but I'm trying to finagle another gay cruise just a couple days. And does it matter what the, what it is or does long it's gay? It doesn't matter where it goes. It doesn't, yeah. She just wants to be surrounded by gay men for three days. That is so great. I mean the last time I took her on one like two years ago and she like cried at the end. We only went on half of it and which we would do again. Yeah, but she was a hit.

She was a hit. And our lives were so different at the time. It was about a month and a half before she knew she had cancer. Yeah. And she's just bopping along and she was a big hit. And she's like, I'm not ready to leave. Oh, my God. Because they treated her so well.

These men were obsessed with her. So it's a gay man cruise solely. It's a gay man crew. And then you and ginger. And how'd you get in there? Do you put on a fake mustache? So at the time, this was. at the time I was just like

I want to take my mom on a cruise because she loves cruises that's how she prefers to travel so I wasn't seeking out a gay cruise and so my reps just reached out to different places and that opportunity came about and once we were there I was like I only want to take her on gay men

cruises now was she dancing with them or is she a dancer? She sticks her finger out and does a little, you know, this, like, this kind of dancing, yeah. Oh, that's good. Finger dancing. That's how I dance.

Is it just, you know, just like kind of in a funny, fun way? She was like, um, all the men, you know, wear like really tight speedos and stuff. The gay men do? No, that's shocking to you. So she was kind of just like, oh, oh, oh, okay, ah, you know. She just loves gaming I know she does

And so And she thinks Anderson Cooper's so So like Yeah it's That's the place If we're going on a cruise It needs to be With the gays

Yeah You should do it Yeah I'm trying to get in a few Things with her Just because you know I don't know what The future looks like

And I'm trying to get her out to L.A. Yeah Definitely So we'll see How is she feeling she's feeling pretty good oh god she had a crazy

thing last week I called her and she answers the phone she goes hey how's it going and I'm like good you know what are you up to she's like nothing just you know just sitting around and I started hearing a beep

beep and I was like am I crazy is there a beeping sound she goes well I am in the emergency room I'm like what god she was sleeping She was taking a nap and like somehow flung herself out of bed like five feet from the bed Ginger hit her head on the side table hit her head on the ground had this big bump on her head

She didn't need that no and she said it was like she said it was as if someone flung her out of bed she was by herself Whoa her chemo she after chemo she has to wear like a fanny pack with that's got a port yeah the supports access and is giving her chemo for two days beyond the chemo. That came out. So the chemo is like spewing everywhere. Chemo everywhere. Chemo everywhere. And so she drove herself to the emergency room, which is wild.

With head bonk and everything. Yeah, she put the chemo in it. Because they tell you to put it in a Ziploc bag right away. And she went to go and make sure she didn't have a brain bleed. So they're like You don't have brain bleeding They put her in a sling And she's lucky she didn't like break her hip

Oh my God, it could have been so bad That is wild that she She said it felt like someone flung her out of the bed Well so my sister-in-law works with May wants to get back to that My sister-in-law is a physical therapist And works with a lot of older people And she has patients who are on chemo

And she says some of them have described That same thing where they have fallen out of bed, but they described it as if someone threw them out of the bed. I don't know what that is. We don't know anything. But my mom said she landed like five feet from the bed. That's what's so weird.

That's really strange. Yeah. But so she's been just like. And was it in the middle of the night? No, it was napping. Napping during the day. Did she have a dream? She was having a dream.

And so now she's just been like kind of laying low. She wouldn't have told you unless you heard the beeping. Well, I think she would have told me later, but she doesn't want us to worry in the moment until she knows what's happening. Because she was in the hospital like a month before and same thing. She didn't tell me. I happened to call her. And she goes, well, I might have, you know, congestive heart failure. We're checking it out.

And I'm like, what is happening? Oh, my God. She just doesn't want to worry us. I was saying, yeah, she's been in the emergency room twice in the last month. Oh, man. I know. But she's, she's doing all right. She's still being a trooper and getting to chemo and I can't believe.

What's up? Take her to a Broadway show. I don't know. New York would be kind of a lot with her. Yeah, yeah. I wanted, my goal is L.A. And maybe this cruise will see. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's been the adventure. I don't think I would live through flinging myself out of bed. Getting your head twice on the way that like, like, side table floor. Have you ever had a night tear or something? Have I had night tears? Yeah, like a night terror where you wake up scream or sleepwalking or anything? No.

I've had nightmares, but it's not caused any physical thing. You know, my kids call me mayor, and when I go say good night to them, they're like, nightmare. That's funny. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I've got a little snack with me before I leave the house. My stomach and I are grumbling. I thought I'd be able to grab a bite in between meetings, but now it's getting late and I could really use a candy bar.

Yeah, check in first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. I was on a mission to improve the lighting in a dark hallway of my home. So I went on Wayfair, and I found this mid-century modern wall sconce with a wood.

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Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself reaching for over and over again? That's what. sweater that somehow works with everything, the jeans that you know will always fit just right, or the bag you carry everywhere, those pieces are what Quince does better than anyone. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and premium stretch denim. The designs are timeless, thoughtfully crafted, and made to be worn again and again. I have been luxuriating in my 100% organic cotton

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It's the best way to support the show. middle school I had a sleepover with my friend Gabby and I woke up in the night and she wasn't in the room and then I found her on the basement stairs like we were sleeping in the basement and she was sort of half up the stairs like draped on the stairs with her foot and she'd got a bowl of cereal with milk and everything and that was on the stairs and that was kind of spilled and she had no memory of what she'd done I think she's or she claimed yeah sleepwalking is so interesting I had friends friends that would like pop up and have a full in conversation yeah and then go to bed and like never remember any of it Mike berbiglia oh yeah I mean is that a big thing he well he had his special

he had his one man show and a movie because he sleepwalks and he threw himself out of a hotel window stop and it's like zip himself up sometimes and like at night he has to be like strapped his arms have to be like strapped in and what yeah did you not hear me but uh it's unreal and and in that hotel now they have like a plaque on the wall that says this is the um window that mike for big lay threw himself out how many floors up i think it was two oh my god and um and his his show is called sleepwalk with me okay i need to watch and it's a movie it's also a movie okay i need to watch um but uh that is yeah I don't I don't have that at all no we spend half our lives asleep it's so crazy I haven't I love a little sleepy poo I'm not a napper but I do enjoy going to bed at night yeah I love going to bed at

night and as you know I'm sleeping a lot better I have not napped I think since I was like four really oh my god never a napper I'm not a napper ever yeah you're a napper you're a napper that's all right Jen is a napro. I'm not really, but if I'm in a kind of like post-coital days, then I can sleep. Yeah. You get very horny around sleeping. Remember, that's true. And podcasting.

Every time I try to nap. Yeah, you get horny. Yeah, and then I don't rest. That is the grossest word. Horny? Yes. You get revved up. Was that better?

I mean, yeah. Do I make you horny, baby? Yeah. That was good. We should get an Austin Power's impersonator. Come on. What do you mean? Come on.

Are you never on Austin Power? No. Yeah. Picture, okay, knowing me. Cultural touchstone. Knowing me. Knowing me. Picture me settling in and watching Austin Power.

But is that for real? If you saw him, you know. It was so popular back in the day. I know what he, I know what he looks like. He has his teeth out of his mouth. Dr. Evil. Yeah. Listen.

But genuinely. I know, I mean, really, can you picture me going, oh, let's watch Yeah, you're right. You're right. No offense, Tedding. But I thought you would have at least heard that phrase. No, I'm terms of endearment. I am, boys don't cry.

I am a dancer in the dark. Yeah. You're right. Would you watch Anchorman? No. San Diego. Pretty sure that means a whale's vagina. Never saw.

Well, I think you know who our question asker is. Oh, I do. Some of his movies. I do know you are familiar with those. Do you like that transition? That was really smooth. I just did a movie with him. Did you?

I did. What was it? I did. screenwriter, and comedian, whose movies include Knocked Up, the 40-year-old Virgin, and funny people. He has two new documentaries coming out on Netflix this month, one about Norm MacDonald, and the other about Maria Bamford. Oh. Jud Appetow is asking today's question. Amazing.

Good job, TIG. Thank you. Uh-huh. My eyes worked. Hello, handsome. This is Judd Apatow. Here with the question of the podcast. My question is this.

What very specific dialogue do you remember from when someone has broken up with you? What haunts your soul? What stuck? What made you think maybe they were right? you think they are completely wrong. What dialogue do you remember? God, nobody's ever broken up with me. That's a great question. Man, it really is. I dated a lot of people that like we dated for a period of time, but we were not in like an actual monogamous relationship. That was early on in my Situationship.

Yeah, a lot of situationships. Because I found that LA women did not want to commit. Right. So I had a lot of those. So I got let down by a few of those. Didn't you get texted a breakup while you were doing stand-up? Yeah. You were on-stained up to text.

I did get texted once. Good memory. I had a bit where I had to read a text. Oh, God. And I didn't want to memorize it. So I just put it, I just got my phone up and the text was like, said they were moving to another city. And that was, that was that was that was that was that was that. And I was just like, did you read it on stage?

No. Or I think I did say like, I just got, you guys, I just got dumped. Oh, God. So she just said I'm moving to another city. She was waiting to hear about a job opportunity and basically was telling me, yay, I got the job. And also that means, I'll be moving. And also that means. Yeah, I have the job.

And I was heartbroken because, yeah, I really liked her. How long were you seeing her? It was on the shorter side. That was maybe six months or so. But she was a lovely person. Have you talked to her since? She got the job? Yeah.

Yeah, we're friends. Okay. But a specific thing that, do you guys remember a specific thing said to you? Yeah, I got a couple of things. Well, I remember when I was 18, this girl I was dating came over to break up with me. I knew it was coming. Yeah. And it was sort of fine, but then she went up, just wait a second, and then pulled out a CD and put on Shelter from the Storm by Bob Dylan to dump me to that song.

What? Yeah. That's wild. Ruined that song for me for so long. And I was like, you're kidding. Like I was like Stop that Yeah

I turned it off But it was so fun She wanted to feel like she was in a movie I think Yeah Like that this yeah But that was good That almost doesn't seem real

I put a lot of real dialogue And to feel good Into the big breakup scene Of like Just straight people Who were Saying like I just

But I want to have kids one day And me being like Me too Oh you were dating a straight Sort of straightish gal yeah our closeted yeah some of that I got a breakup text before we did our Toronto live show you did you were a bit of a bit of a spiral I was a hot mess we were trying to talk you down mm-hmm oh my God like it didn't work it did not work 10 minutes

before I went on stage well you excuse yourself for like five minutes to sort of just be outside and process I went out of smoking a cry uh-huh it was like one of men like it was a long drawn out conversation, but it was a particularly, yeah, that was... That one was rough. That was rough, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but funny dialogue. Funny.

Yeah, what about you, Teg? Did he say funny? Well, he also said, did they say anything about you? Yeah, like something. Like your personality or something? You were like, no, they have a point. I mean, I'm sure lots of things. I mean, I think what I immediately go to also is people saying that,

they're straight or that, all of that where you're just like, okay, well, you know, you act very differently. Yeah, you're not acting very straight. Yeah, you're not acting terribly straight. Yeah. You're not acting very much like you're looking to have a family. Yeah. You know, and obviously, famously on this show, I.

Okay, Dike. Yeah, Stephanie, writing you that. Stephanie breaking up. It was over a big email, right? Oh my God, yes. A very long, very, very kind and reminiscing about all the fun and really enjoying me, but I'm just not gay. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, okay, Dike is all I responded with.

It's so iconic. The best answer ever. And, you know, and I did walk away because it's like I can't make a case. You can't argue to that. Yeah. Yeah. And luckily she came and saw the error of her way. Like if you had responded with an emotional super long letter, it would have been like, she would be like, I was right. This is a lot of way. Yeah. You did the perfect thing.

Well, she told me and other people. She was like, honestly, your response made me laugh so hard. Yeah. To read just after this heartfelt email to just read, okay, Dike. It's so you, though. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. And I was trying to be like. lighthearted, even though it was really bummed, because I was like, man, I do think this is the person for me as far as anything. But yeah, I have certainly attracted a lot of women that have had that curiosity or they've dabbled in that world. And somebody that I dated, somebody just told me that they heard her on a podcast recently saying she dates. anyone and everyone now. And you're like,

oh great. Oh, yeah. I didn't hear that. Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You opened the door. You know about this person? Yeah.

Yeah. I was like, that's so funny. But that's happened to me too where I... But I had known she had been with women previously. Right, right. But the public didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there was a girl I liked so much and we were hanging out for a while and it's kind of

that like, will they want they kind of thing. and but she was straight and I was always trying to just be close at any point you know doing the lotion on the arms and stuff which I joke about but that is a true thing and I just wanted desperately to just like cross into something more yeah and there were definitely signs there for sure and then finally we kissed once and she totally freaked out we like never talked to like she never like that was that was that and then like a couple years later was a oh by the way I'm gay I was like great good for you I think it's amazing you know it just some people just aren't ready yeah yeah you know or you're not the right one for them there's that too you know impossible impossible impossible on not so impossible but i remember this isn't a funny thing or anything anybody said to me but when I was breaking up with this woman years ago. Her, and, you know,

she had been with women before, but her mother was just like hard pass because we were in a full relationship. Yeah. And I remember thinking, God, so your daughter

actually had me over for dinner, expressed how she felt about me. Yeah. We're now involved. And I'm the bad guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I remember saying all I ever did was love you back.

Yeah. That is the crime. Aw. Like I loved you back. Yeah. Yeah. And I can't show my face. This is like nothing funny at all.

No, but memorable. It doesn't have to be funny. Yeah. That happens, though, you know? Yeah. It's like beyond you, you know. it's not your thing, it's like other circumstances. Totally.

Get in the way. And obviously everyone's all set with. Yeah. It works out for the best, but at the, in the time that you're dealing with it, it seems, you know, like, what a bummer. Like, we can't get past this thing. Yeah. That closet person, they, well, we were living together.

And then she broke up with me. And then that night, there was a charity fundraiser that I had agreed to host for her. Oh, man. And she was like, you have to still host the funder. And I'm like with my suitcase having cried all day, like eight hours of breaking up. And then I was like, what do you mean? And then because I had walked in on her with the guy. But he didn't know that we were together.

So I had to, in the moment, be like, oh, hi. And I want to out her to this guy. Hello, friend. Anyway, so I said, okay. You want to protect her in the moment of destroying you. So I had to go and host this fundraiser for her that night with all of our friends who they knew, but they also didn't know. And I had to pretend we had never been together for three years. We were together.

And so I had to be like, hi, I'm Mae Martin. I guess I look like Justin Bieber. I'm just a loser up here. You know, all my self-deprecating comedy. And she comes, shows up with the guy. Oh, come on. And she had her head in his lap, I remember. Yeah, it was brutal.

And then she bought me a drink after the show, like, without me asking for him. It was like, hey, I got you a drink. And then I kind of realized, because I was like, oh, wow, she's never bought me a drink before. I just suddenly was like, oh, I'm just like crumbies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was really crazy. Like, I would never know. But at 25, I was so normalized that type of treatment that I was like,

Well, oh my God, the stuff you put up with. The stuff you put up with is mind boggling. It is mind boggling. And you go, why didn't I think better of myself? Totally. I still think that sometimes. Totally. In any, like, like, even, yeah, just like.

When you think if I was talking to a friend. Even in my last big relationship. Yeah. You know, I've been like, what? What? What do you see that? Matt, Matt, Matt. this um but you just don't sometimes but and then you learn from each one I guess and it's like a

you hope you do we hope you do you know and you're like oops I'm here again yeah oh this old chestnut yeah the dusty volume I remember actually now and I can't quote and you know last I know we I'm friendly with this I haven't talked to her in like 20 or 25 years but um She was kind of had a real job. Yeah. And I was, I really didn't. Yeah. I think I was probably like 22 or 23.

And I don't, you know, just whatever weird job to I was doing. No clue. But I remember there was definitely a vibe when I was around her and her friends that they were like professional. Yeah, they were LLCs. Yeah, they were definite LLCs. And, you know, she was only like a year or two older than me. Yeah. But I was, you know, backward hat and cut off jean shorts and whatever.

I just, I remember there was kind of a vibe of like, you know, it's just we're on, we're in different worlds. Yeah. And what it came down to was, is everything. it would be, I don't know if this is harsh to say, but translated to like, I stopped liking you. Oh, totally. I mean, that's ultimately at the base of everything. I know. And I remember in that moment just being like, well, I'll get a job in an office.

Yeah, but how about I take the hat off? You know, I get a haircut. And it's like, if I could tell you what I really felt, it's, I stopped liking you. Yeah. And that's what I try and remember in. those kind of moments when somebody's not interested. I'm like, I don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me. Right.

Yeah. But that's what's underneath everything. Right. Yeah, I stopped liking it. I dated someone that after a while I was like, I don't think she likes who I am as a person. Oh, God. Why am I with this? Yeah.

She was very critical. And I was like, this is not fun. Yeah. I don't want to be with someone who points out everything that's wrong with me. Right. Yeah. That's, yeah, like for the birds. I just remembered one. Watch your mouth. Whoa. I remembered one where this is, I don't know if you guys know who this is, but we were ending things.

And then she said, yeah, I'm, I just feel like I've gone inside a glass box within myself. And I feel nothing now because I'm just in this glass box that I can't get out of inside myself. And she was like, this happens to me all the time. Like, this is what happens. I was like, okay, and I started laughing. And it was kind of nice. It broke the, I was like, all right, whatever. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's good if you can have a little laugh. If you can get a laugh and break up, great. I had a laugh about one, only because we never actually, like, dated, dated. We were like, I can't remember if I told you all this story, but there was a girl that I really liked, and we were, like, kind of, like, flirting with each other. And, like, it was kind of this, like, you know, again, one of those things. things where it was like maybe we will maybe we want and we finally like kissed at some point and and so it was seeming like we were kind of getting to that point where we were going to

maybe start dating and she called me and she was like hey can I make you dinner tonight and I was like oh my god we're really taking this I remember yeah did I tell you yes yeah yeah she came over and told me she brought all the food and right away told me she was going to pursue something with someone else and was like should I still make dinner and I was like what are you making and she said tacos and I do I do love I do love shrimp tacos

so I get and so she I just and you got her go she didn't want to be with me she's going to pursue something which they're still together this day so good for her and her and we were never deep enough for it to be like a wound thing but I'm like I just got essentially like kind of dumped and I want

those tacos. I literally been like we should eat these tacos and would you still do that now if somebody was dumping you depending on what they were making when you don't have like she's lovely and but like I didn't have a big enough investment for it

to like it was kind of like an ouch but it wasn't like a heartbroken so if it was that situation I'd kind of like whatever. Yeah, yeah. Like, who get, I'm not going to be like, get out of my house. I don't operate like that. I was just like, I kind of found it amusing even in the time I'm more like, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. But I think now I would not be like interested in the situation ships that I, that you engaged. That you entertained back in the day. Like, I'm not that person anymore. Zero. I think I allow that when I was young. because I didn't have more confidence in myself to think that I deserved an actual relationship

so I was willing to kind of take those breadcrumbs just to have experiences with people and I think I think more highly of myself now that a committed relationship is the only way to go for me yeah that's what you want yeah you know you need you know you deserve yeah with one person that's it I ain't into the other wild shit people you used to be many like open or is that yes hello yeah i've like i've i mean when i'm single i'm i mingle i mingle yeah yeah i'll date a few people sure but um i then i dated a couple yeah for for like on and off for a long time that was and that was great i mean that seems to be you know something more people are dabbling in these days it is not for me it's never been for me. I am not into open relationships. Never have been. Never will be. Yeah.

Duly noted. Anyone was wondering. Never been into them, never agreed to them. Don't want them. I might be again one day, but I think there's something really beautiful about like the level of intimacy you can get with one person. Then people are multiple people in their lifetime. So it could be a whole universe. I understand that like younger, especially the younger people now are kind of like more, less traditional, so that they are exploring that stuff more, but I think I'm just too old school.

Yeah, or, I don't know. Or traditional, I don't know what the word is. You're like a traditional little lady. But I'm also, like, I get emotionally attached in a way that's like, I don't think I, yeah, because I don't think I could just like, like make it that casual anymore.

where I'm just like... It does change things, yeah. I don't think I have that capability to put my emotions into multiple people. I have it on one, and that's where my focus is. My new thing is, like, I would do, like, group stuff with my person.

I wouldn't be out on dates with other people or, like, yeah, no, not for me. Yeah. But, you know, to each and all, I just, you know, I think if you're going to get in a relationship, hopefully the person tells you whether or not they're into that or not. Yeah.

That would be the preference. Lay it out at the beginning. Yeah. Then you know, and then you can make a decision for yourself whether or not you are okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. That definitely feels right. Yeah.

So should we hear Judd's answer? Good luck out there to everyone dating. Yeah. Let's hear what Judd's breakup dialogue is. I want to hear it. It's Judd Apatow again. And I'll tell you a few pieces of dialogue from. breakups, I remember, once I was sitting next to a girlfriend on a plane.

And on the flight, she said, you know, there are a lot of empty seats here. We don't have to sit right next to each other. It was followed quickly by, you say, I love you too much. As the breakup progressed, this was said. one day you're going to realize how little you know right now oh huh i hope it's not leslie i also remember from a different breakup a young woman saying you know it's like i'm in the pond i jump off the dock into the pond and i'm in the pond and i'm waiting for you to jump in the pond and i'm waiting and I'm waiting and at some point

I'm just going to get back on the dock. All right. That's all I can give you for today. I'll try to think of some more. Yeah, text us your other ones. The dock one is bizarre. He puts a lot of stuff in his movies. I feel like they're very real to relationships like 40 year old.

Not a 40 year old version. That is one of his. This is 40. This is 40 like that. Yeah, yeah. Real seeming stuff. Yeah. Or are you thinking of the movie, this is a 40-year-old virgin.

It could be that one. Yeah, I can't honestly remember a lot of actual specific things people said in a, like, that, like those specific lines. The glass box stayed with me. That, I mean, yeah, if something's, like, really random. Yeah. I can't remember if there was anything like that said. It's not coming to me. I also love that, of course, Judd says dialogue.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, not just any quotes. There's any dialogue for it. Or do you remember anyone saying anything? Yeah. This is the dialogue.

Yeah. I feel like now we're all in like, like. Breakup mode. Yeah, like we're reminiscing. Yeah, we're all like, that hurt. Yeah, when people didn't want us. Haunted, yeah. Remember how there's a slew of people behind us that didn't want it and still don't?

But, you know, it's. It is a testament. But we've dumped people too. Everyone's been on both sides of the coin. It is a testament too. In the moment, it seems like the worst thing ever. Yeah. And then in time, it's the best thing ever.

And you're fine. Yeah. And you just try to be better for the next relationship. I mean, for yourself. I hear you. I just. I mean, well, you're still past. Stephanie.

Hopefully you're good to go. I hope Stephanie doesn't surprise. Surprise. I, uh, whof. Yeah. I, that's a lot of strength to get through,

not just breakups, but like divorce and, you know, even if you come out the other side, like, oh, this is better. Yeah.

It's, it, I've, I've seen friends really, really, yeah, be taken down. It's trauma.

Yeah, it's massive trauma. Yeah. Spend your life with somebody for a long time thinking that's your future. Mm-hmm. The rugpole like that, yeah. The road pull is a lot. Yeah. It messes you up for sure.

It's a lot of, I mean, only guessing, just a lot of, like, rearranging in your brain. Oh, yeah. You go back and try to be like, wait, what was this real? What was this that? Like, what did this? What was this? And also and rearranging the future.

Yeah. Like all of it. I feel like you're starting over. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. But, you know, I just think it, we've entered a time in which if it ain't working. I mean, you know, and I think in the older generation, they just would grin and bear it.

And cheese. And drive it into the ground. Now people are just like, life is short. Let's move on. And yet it is long. does Wow Yeah

Doug Devo Thanks a lot Thanks Judd Thanks Judd Mr. Comedy Guy Wow Way to destroy us The director of so

And writer of so many funny movies Ask us Such a deep question Thanks for listening Yeah And Because Yeah what tour dates

Check out social media I'm at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter or UCB in L.A., but other than that, just, you know, you could watch Wayward, you could watch Feel Good or some of the stand-up specials and keep listening to the pot. What about you guys? I will be in Olympia, Washington, Fresno, Napa, Wilmington, Delaware, Terrytown, New York, New London, Connecticut, Colorado Springs, Steamboat Springs, The list goes on. Go to tignotaro.com.

Also, check me out at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. I'm there pretty much every month here in Los Angeles. What about you, Fortune? Well, I will be in Oakland this weekend. That's my San Francisco stop as well. And then Bakersfield, California, Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, Athens, Georgia, Los Angeles, Palm Springs, Denver, and Nashville. I feel like you're always in San Luis Obispo.

all the time. I just have the one show. I feel like I, has that been on your tour for a long time? No, it just got added not too long ago. Was it your last tour? It was on my last tour for sure.

Yeah. And the Handsome Pod is doing a live HollyBob show. Yeah, we are. At Dynasty Top Rider, December 12th. Go ahead and get your tickets. Plan your handsome parties. You can stream it live from anywhere

and you'll have the link for like a week. We're pumped about this. And always have handsome parties. That's right. Please. Regardless of what show, what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. And please. Rate and review. Stop what you're doing right now. I know you're like, she says this all the time and blah, blah, blah, blah. She means it. She means it. Don't make Tick break up with you. Don't make me. She knows what she's doing. Yeah. It's like I'm a business person now. Okay. Get out of my house backwards. I quit liking you. No.

Rate, review, subscribe, and also were available on Hulu. Hulu. The day before the new episodes drop. And until next time, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feemster, Tignitaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wulet. Email us at HansomPod at gmail.m. and follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

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