Handsome - Kara Swisher asks about artificial intelligence

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

The brilliantly handsome Kara Swisher asks a tech-y question, plus Fortune has had a drink, "pun"ties, and the announcement of the Handsome Hotel Room Challenge!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking dot yeah! This is a HeadGum Podcast. Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers! Woo! Welcome to the Handsome Pod.

I'm your handsome host, Fortune Feimster. And I'm one of the other two, Mae Martin. And it's me, your good friend, Tig Notaro. Yes. Yes. We did it. We did it, we're doing it. Fortune is on a couch I don't recognize.

Looks like a couch from the Golden Girls. Yeah, like that. Which I'm actually wearing this shirt, I didn't even think about like a couch from the Golden Girls. Yeah, I like that. Which I'm actually wearing this shirt, I didn't even think about it, oh my God! Oh, a Golden Girls shirt. I'm wearing a Golden Girls shirt, and I'm in a room that is reminiscent of their lanai. It's a Golden Girls shirt,

but it's in a design of the band Queen. Yeah, it says Queens. Yeah, it says Queens. Yeah, it says Queens, but it's like the old Queen album cover. Sometimes I think like that's the way to make a fortune is just design t-shirts of pop culture, sell them online, made to order. So I'll be doing that moving forward.

And watch your money come rolling in. Yeah. Do you really think that's the way? I mean, I'm not saying it's not, but do you think that is the golden ticket? Because well, I saw online. Don't we sell merch? Don't we sell t-shirts? We sell merch.

Don't we still have jobs? We sell merch and we get the not much of it. It's not that lucrative. But I did see a get rich quick thing online that was like you get you design a coloring book But you don't even have to you just go with AI or something You get like an outline of a cat or something Then you sell it on Amazon for four bucks and then it's print to order and just watch that money come rolling in I'm gonna do that and I'm going to let you know how much money I'm making

Yeah, please keep us posted I'm gonna do that and I'm going to let you know how much money I'm making. Please keep us posted. The only problem with your t-shirt fortune is that the actual t-shirts aren't cheap. Oh, my t-shirt fortune, you mean like, yeah, fortune that will come. Yeah, it's confusing when fortune says t-shirt fortune. But your fortune, if you want a quality tee

to sell people, those aren't cheap. So already your profits cut in half right there. Yeah, you're so right. You're right, you're right. May doesn't think about that stuff. May read something online, hear me out. You clearly don't understand. May came across something online that said,

get rich quick. Get rich. It was a headline and I didn't even read the bulk of the article. Did you click on it? Yeah. Why would you? Sold. I don't even bought down in the t-shirts. You saw a picture of somebody selling t-shirts.

Exactly. Like a stock image of a smiling woman counting her money. And I was like, that could be me. Oh my gosh. I don't want to make you guys jealous, but I'm actually in the Caribbean. Look at that. Oh my gosh. I don't wanna make you guys jealous, but I'm actually in the Caribbean. Look at that. Oh my God, look at that.

If you're on YouTube, fortune is showing a beautiful- Palm trees and water. Yeah, mom. I mean, what if you were in the Caribbean and you weren't near palm trees or water? Would you ask for your money back? Would you move hotels?

It would be weird considering I'm on an island. Yeah, just facing the middle of the island. There's no water in sight. Yeah. No pool with the hotel. I'm here just for a couple days to relax and it's Jax's birthday. Happy birthday, Jax.

Happy birthday, Jax. Happy birthday to you. Oh, it's getting sexy. I've drank a lot of frozen drinks. Really? Margaritas? Yeah. No, we're in the Caribbean, my friend,

so I'm drinking the rum. Come on now. Now, some people say Caribbean and Caribbean. Yeah, I never know. Pirates of the Caribbean, Curly in the Caribbean. But also what's his name, Billy Ocean, who sings Caribbean Queen.

Yeah. He says Caribbean. I don't know, I guess it's tomato tomato, right? By the way. I've never. Guys, two against one. You don't know that song? I don't think I do.

Wait, the melody sounds similar. Sounds familiar, but I definitely, yeah. You might recognize it if you hear it without taking a singing yet. Yeah, true. We'll let Fortune just take a solo, two, three, and. But I don't know the words. Carabao, ba ba ba ba ba ba.

Caribbean queen, now we're sharing the same thing. And our hearts will beat as one. I swear to God, never knew those were the words. No more love on the run. Oh, okay. Had no clue, zero clue those were the words. God, I'm alone in this world. Now, Tig, you're having a little glass of water there

and you're in, where are you? I'm over here hydrating in Toronto. I just left Toronto and how do you handle the cold? You got a good coat? I have a decent coat. What I do is I stay inside. Right. Yeah. Not me.

Yeah, I know, fortune. I should have brought a daiquiri with me for the pod. God dang it. What time is it where you are? Five o'clock somewhere. It's 2 14. Ha ha ha. How early do you start getting going on the drinks?

I started today at 1 p.m. Wait, you have alcohol in you now? Oh, this, oop. Fortune Marie, you are- I have one. You're crunk on the pod. This is a first for the handsome pod. I'm not drunk, I'm just.

Yes you are. Hello. Oh my God. A little bit of milk. I knew something was a little different. Fortune is trashed. No. I'm not trashed.

I'm just happy. You have flushed cheeks. That's sunburn, my friend. That is crunk. I've been lathering up, but you know. Yeah, and you're a fair, delicate flower. I sure am. Thank you for pivoting from pale.

My friend bought a package, like a vacation package, for her and her boyfriend years ago, like probably 92, 93. And she and her boyfriend broke up. So she asked if I wanted to go with her. Yeah. And we went to the Bahamas. Oh my God. And, and it was off season, which is why the package was so cheap.

Wait, what does that even mean? It's like not a good time to go. It was scorching hot, like where you can't even be outside. Like people don't go at this time of year that we went. And she had a heart-shaped bed, and there were rose petals and like the toilet was and the shower, bathtub were all like in view of the bed. Like you couldn't possibly be away from your lover like for that long. Oh my hilarious. And it was, we were also, this is so,

you know when you go on a vacation, they're like, oh, you get a free meal if you go look at properties or. Uh-huh. Oh yeah, a timeshare. The timeshare. Oh my God, yeah, yeah. You get a free meal if you go look at properties or... Oh yeah, a timeshare. The timeshare. Oh my God, yeah, yeah. And then at the end of the day and seeing all the different timeshares, you get a free dinner. So we did that too.

And yeah, we wanted to put together a brochure for the Bahamas off season because we were fried, we were burnt to a crisp, nothing was open or we couldn't do anything. So that was my big beach vacation years ago. I love it. Oh my God. I once got dumped and it was right near Valentine's. So my best friend and I decided to go to a hotel

to hang out with my cousin that night and to meet him for dinner. And we were gonna stay at a hotel in San Diego. And the room was like way more romantic than either of us would have assumed. So we went to the grocery store and bought some Calgon bubble bath. And we got in our swimsuits and got in the bathtub together.

This is I love this. No, fortunately, I guess it's your cousin. Not with my cousin. We had dinner later with my cousin. But who are you with? My friend, Andrea, who listens to the pod. Shout out out Andrea. Hi Andrea.

And we laughed so hard about how sad we both were because she was going through a breakup too. And we just cried laughing in this bathtub in our bathing suits about being sad. And that night when we were going to meet my cousin for dinner, people were like recognizing me and being like, hey, how are you? And I'd be like, I'm sad.

And everyone was like, oh, oh cool. Comedians aren't supposed to have off days. There's something about the two adult friends taking a bath together is so funny. And my best friend, Gabby, who I think I told you when I was sad, she ran naked across the room. So I just was in Toronto and I had a hotel room while I was there.

And so she came over and she was like, can we take a bath? And I didn't have my bathing suit or anything. So I was like, no, I'm good, dude. And she was like, I'm gonna take one. And so then she got naked in the bath and I just sit and keep her company. But it was very surreal and she loves to take a bath

together and it really makes me laugh. And you never have taken a bath with her? I have been in our bathing suits and it's become the thing now that she always wants to. Because it is very joyful, it's just like being in a hot tub and you're a couple of babies, you know? Yeah. Aw, should we take a bath together,

should we put it on the list? It's gotta be a big bathtub. Thomas runs the bath and puts the bubbles in for us. Yeah, sets our towels out. Can you go buy some Calgon bubble bath so we can say, Calgon, take me away? I would be happy to. Does anyone buy Calgon anymore?

You remember the commercials, Calgon, take me away? Of course, I just have not heard that since 1978. Well, listen, we were in a pinch. We were both sad. We needed bubble bath, and it's what was available. I'm not judging. I just have, it has been a long time since anybody has ever mentioned Calgon.

I know it from the Mariah Carey song, the lyrics are, "'Shake it off just like the Calgon commercial.' Wait, what is happening, Fortune? Fortune is drunk. Fortune is drunk. Fortune has on little tiny underwear, under panties, panties,

and is showing off. Showing off her gams. Yeah. Hold on. Oh my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, Oh, my God. Did you? No. Well, I don't know. I don't know. We'll have to go back to YouTube and see if we can, like a, like a football play, if we can circle Fortune's private. I wanted to show you my legs because I don't get to show them off enough. And when you're in the Caribbean, you do.

All right, go on. No, they're looking good. You interrupted May's story. Oh, I'm sorry, May. No, there was no. We couldn't focus once those things were slapping around. My apologies. No, it was suddenly we were at the Moulin Rouge

with those can-can dancers. That's what it felt like. Do you wanna take a moment? Maybe stand on the couch and really show us? My gams? Hold on. Yeah, like stand up and like really give us a, be careful because you are drunk. Wow.

Look at those. My sweet. Woo. Look at that. Strong calf muscle. That's a defined calf muscle. Oh my Lord. And you're sitting inside and depriving people of those gams?

I hope everyone is turned on right now. Anyway, what's everybody up to besides me? I'm in a hotel because I thought I was going to be able to move into my house, but the renovations aren't done. So I came from Toronto, got in a hotel. I was feeling really down about it. And then I thought about like just stressed and all my shit. And then I thought, there's good things about like, there's always there's Q-tips in the bathroom. And I would never buy Q-tips because they tell you that it's so bad for your ears. But listen, if I'm in a hotel and I find a couple, I'm so pumped. So I thought, it could be work. So you followed the Q-tip rules where you're like, I was told this is bad.

Yeah, but if someone's giving me them in a hotel, I'm like, well, when in Rome. Yeah. I use them. You do? Maybe that's why I can't hear. You guys both use them? Yeah. Oh, this is not goodness. Oh, this is very concerning. Oh, this is very concerning. I don't go deep into my ear.

I just do the outer cartilage area. Oh, that's okay, I think. What about you, Fortune? Are you going deep? Don't do that when you're drunk. Do not clean out your ears when you're drunk. I want the thing where they clean your ears out with the water.

Isn't that a thing? I'm obsessed with like your stuff. I like to watch like your wax removal. Well, find a relaxing. Is that disgusting? Sorry. I mean, of course, it is. There's a whole show about pimple popping.

So people have their things. I was about to say we went on a vacation to the mountains and nobody ended up skiing or snowboarding and we were with another family and we all just hunkered down and sat by the fire and they put on Dr. Pimple Popper. What? That's the show. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah, I think I've seen

things on London. Oh my gosh. The stuff, the things that have grown on people's bodies that are like the size of a head that they pop and it just explodes. Explodes. How to Save Hundreds on Car Insurance Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know how to check that the hotel room you booked doesn't share a wall with the hotel bar. You want to get a good night's sleep. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

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I think that's why it's like mentally satisfying. It's like you get to see it all clean at the end. I was not. It is. It's a love hate. I can't do it. Yeah. Those TikToks come up and I have to keep scrolling. Remember, don't you feel like in the 90s, goiters were a big comedy thing? Like goiters kept going. I feel like in cartoons and stuff, people always had goiters kept... I feel like in cartoons and stuff, people always had goiters and you never hear about them anymore. My ex used to joke about having a goiter all the time. And if she never mentioned it, I don't think... It was the 90s. I don't think I would have ever heard of goiters unless she wrote songs about her goiter, she

talked about her goiter. And she had one? I don't even know what her goiter. She talked about her goiter. And she had one? I don't even know what a goiter is. It's like a big growth on your neck usually, but it looks almost like, I don't know, like an extra head or something, I think. I listen and you have one right in. Tap your hands. I don't remember seeing a goiter,

anything that sounds like that on her. So she was just into it, because it was the 90s. I think she thought it was a funny word or something. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Speaking of the 90s, I ran into Lisa Loeb in a CVS.

Oh. Was it? Is that the 90s? Yeah. Yeah, that's like, she that the 90s? Yeah, 2000s. That's, like, she is the 90s. And you say, I only hear what I want to. And did you know her before? I did not.

And did you talk? So I don't really have much to follow up on. She was just like, hey, she had a mask on, so I couldn't, it was during the fires. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, the air was really bad. So I couldn't even, I didn't even really, I just saw her eyes, but you know, her signature glasses.

Oh, she had the signature? She had the signature glasses on. So when she said, this is Lisa Loeb, I was like, oh my God, yes, of course. She said, this is Lisa Loeb? Yeah. Because I couldn't see her face. This is Lisa Loeb.

This is Lisa Loeb. That happened to me once during the pandemic with Kelly Clarkson. And you all know I love Kelly Clarkson. Of course, I mean, as she came up to me with a mask on and she was like, what's up, Fortune? And I'm like, hi, stranger. She said, this is Kelly Clarkson.

And she goes, this is Kelly Clarkson. They don't say I'm Kelly Clarkson or I'm Lisa Lowe. I can't remember, maybe it was. This is Kelly Clarkson. No, I think it was this, it's Kelly Clarkson. Okay, that makes more sense. It's Kelly Clarkson. It's like somebody's presenting her to you. This is Kelly Clarkson. It, that makes more sense. It's Kelly Clarkson. It's like somebody's presenting her to you.

This is Kelly Clarkson. It was so funny though. My most recent celebrity encounter was last night in my dream, I know dreams are boring to talk about, but it was so detailed and specific and real. And I will say it was Alanis Morissette and it was so like a movie. I was like a young Leonardo DiCaprio. I was like 18 and I had just left school and I was on the run from the cops and my parents and all kinds

of people. And then I find this like commune in the woods and Alanis is there and she's like, no, you're too young. And I was like, listen, I know what I'm doing. And then and then we kind of had this like romance. And it was so but it was so real and it was so like a movie. And then she kept being like, now we got to stop this. And I was like, why? I'm I'm I know who I am. I'm she was like, now you got to go. I'm going to get in trouble because you're on the run from the police. And then she was leading these like meditation courses.

And oh, my God, I woke up and was like, we're in love. Did she ask you to sing with her? She did sing herself, but I didn't sing with her. Oh, that was really low fortune. I just didn't know if it came true in the dream. I know what you're trying to do here. You're trying to hurt me. No, I don't want to hurt me at all. No, you're trying to hurt May. No, I don't wanna hurt May at all.

No, you're trying to hurt May. No, no, no, no, no. You're bringing up a sore topic. No, I was hoping that May got to sing with Alanis in the dream. I imagine if in the dream you appeared and sang with her again, I'd be like, even my subconscious won't let me.

Or if I swooped in. How ironic. Wouldn't it be ironic, don't you think? Well I'm going on music tour, like two of my songs came out this week and I had to promote them and so part of me was like, will Alanis ever come on stage with me? I don't know, it's such a pipe dream. It won't happen. Throw it out there, bud.

It's like how we're throwing it out there that we're hosting the Oscars. That's true. If you build it, they will come. I'd forgotten that we said that on the podcast. We said, well, let's just say that we are hosting the Oscars and make it so. So then all week people are tagging me on things like,

can't wait to see Handsome host the Oscars. What great news. And I was like, can't wait to see Handsome host the Oscars, what great news. I was like, wait. Yes. Oh yeah. I mean this year I believe Conan's doing it, but next time. Okay, next time.

That's what we were talking about is after Conan. After Conan, so we can prepare. And Conan also designated us as backup in case something happens. Oh, yes. Great. That could be our end to the Oscars is that Conan has the three of us tap dance behind them into some sort of opening musical number.

We don't even have to say anything. We just tap and then we leave. Yes, of course. The old tap and leave routine. The old tap and leave. Yeah. I got a text from someone at Dynasty saying, are these your tap shoes?

I was like, I think those might be May's. Did we leave some? Did you leave yours? Someone left tap shoes there. I brought mine home. I've got multiple pairs. I did buy a lot of pairs, so I don't know. Maybe they were Thomas's.

I don't know, but I have my tap shoes. May is just made of money just buying tap shoes every which way. Yeah, all those t-shirts you're selling. Now May, here's what I think you should do. How long are you in this hotel room? Three nights. Okay, I think you should announce to our listeners

what hotel you're staying in and what room and they will just miss you If you want to go visit the hotel that may Martin stayed in that hotel is Wait, cuz this will come out by the time I've already left. Okay, so I feel safe to say this is the Silver Lake Inn and Pool Okay, it's called Silver Lake Inn and Pool. I think it's called Silver Lake Inn and Pool. And I'm in room, I mean, that feels scary to say, but I'm in room 301.

Ooh. Okay, I know, it's electrifyingly terrifying. Yeah. But I thought it'd be a fun thing. And if you're a fan of May Martin, rent this room. Okay, this is a room. Oh my God, wait, okay, it's, okay. I've realized it's actually room 302,

but also I'm gonna leave a note, a secret note here. Whoa. Oh my God. Oh yes, yes, yes. Okay, okay, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, this is huge. Look on the wall. Tag us if you find it.

Do you see this painting? Okay, if you want to see. Well, you have to go to YouTube to see that painting of poop. There's a painting go to YouTube to see that painting of poop. There's a painting of a blue blob of poop. That poop needs to be tested. It's actually called Blue Body, this painting, but I'm gonna leave a note behind it.

And if you come and rent this room, you can find the note and you could maybe add to it and leave it for the next person. Okay, so a tiny note that says, hello from May. And then once this person rents the room and finds the note, then they need to send a picture of themselves. I am electrified by this idea.

This is so fun. Okay, it's Silver Lake Inn and Pool, room 302. I'm gonna leave a note behind the blue blob painting. And if anyone wants to find me. Oh right, Fortune's hotel room. Just look for that palm tree. But Fortune, you have to tell us the name and what room number you're in.

I'm at the Four Seasons in Nevis. Nevis. That's a little island off of St. Kitts. Wow. Give us a room number already. I'm in room 224, and if you look behind this lamp, Fortune's gonna leave her empty rum bottles. Dust. An empty Mickey of rum.

And you're gonna see a sign that says, eat my ass. I might have to write, eat my ass on the note. No, leave a sign that says, this is fortune. Yeah, this is fortune. And you should say, this is me. Yeah, I'm going to write, this is me. I can't write, this is May. I can't write eat my ass, I can't bring myself to do it.

I'll write this is May. No, I won't do that, that's mean. Also, we should offer a free gift, like free streaming tickets. If you go to these rooms and locate the note. Someone flies to St. Kitts, gets on a boat, and drags across the island. They get free $15 tickets to a streaming.

She's streaming tickets. Hilarious. After we're done this episode, I might make a little video filming myself hiding the note. Oh, Thomas wanted to sweeten the pot a little bit. Throw in one of our new handsome keychains. Oh, now we're gonna lose money at this point. Now we're cooking with gas.

So wait, they're getting $15 streaming tickets and a keychain? And a keychain, May. We're selling new handsome keychains and our lucky winners can be the first one. And it's perfect because they look like a hotel room key chain. That's true. Oh my gosh.

Full circle. Wow. All right. Let's get to our questions, shall we? Today's guest is a journalist and podcast host who has been writing about the internet since 1994. She founded Recode on Vox in 2014 and has written for publications including the New York Times and Wall Street Journal and the Washington Post.

Her podcast is called On with Kara Swisher. Kara Swisher is asking today's question. Woo, woo! Hey, handsome people. How you doing? I'm handsome myself, I have to say, and I'm very excited to talk to you. I'm a huge fan of your show.

I'm here, I guess, because I'm the tech person, so I shall give you a tech question. AI is all over the place, from self-driving cars to chatbots. I write about it, and I do a lot of podcasts about it. And some of it is useful, a lot of it is not so much. What is the one thing you hate doing that you wish AI would just do for you?

What would it be? Let's be positive as we move into 2025 because there's nothing positive about 2025, I think. So what's the one positive thing before AI kills us? What would be good for you? Aw. Oh, Kara is the go-to tech person. I like that it's just a gimmick. It's like an accepted truth that AI is gonna kill us.

But before it kills us, what? It's definitely gonna cause some harm. Oh yeah, for sure. But I think this is a very, very good question. We've already addressed how I want AI to design coloring books for me so that I can get that sweet passive income trickling in. I would like to get AI to control AI, to not kill us.

Mm, yeah. Because that's something we don't know how to, that's actually, yeah, we go chat, chat, whatever, or whatever you call it. I please prevent yourself from taking over. Do you think it'll listen? And then also on the side, fix the environment. Oh, yes, seriously. I saw a thing the other day.

I mean, every day there's a new crazy AI thing coming up, but there was an AI creation and they asked it to write an original song and sing it about anything. It wrote one about how badly it wants to be alive and it was this mournful song that it wrote of its own accord that was like, I want to be alive. It was this really, yeah. It's like, oh my God. That stuff used to seem so far away from reality and it's here. I know. You heard it first right here on Handsome Pod from Fortune Famester.

It's here. It's here. Kara knows a lot more about it than I do. By the way, Kara's a power lesbian, is what we call Kara. I thought that's what she meant when she said, I'm also handsome. And I thought it sounds like code from the 1950s

where people had to say, I'm a friend of Dorothy, or like to say that they're gay. I like it. And Kara's always sticking it to these tech guys, which is pretty fun. Yes, good. And so, There's gotta be a joke.

It takes a power lesbian to stick it to people. Yeah. Now, I'm curious, at what point are you officially a power lesbian? That's a great question. Are you a power lesbian, Fortune? I don't know. Yeah, I mean, maybe.

How do we know? How do we find out? I wear suits. Do we ask AI? Yeah, you wear suits. Yeah. It's like a stature thing, a stature situation. It's like a very kind of nebulous quality.

Like, it's like you're organizing things, you're hosting events, you're fundraising. You're like, you know what I mean? You're like- You're sticking it to the man. Yeah, you're dressed up in a nice outfit and you're- Taking down the patriarchy. You're doing stuff.

Okay, well, I don't know if fortune in the queen's t-shirt and shorts would fall into power lesbian look. Kara's definitely sticking it to people and I'm drinking a mango daiquiri. If you go on social media, it feels like every other post is about some new nutrition product that makes questionable claims. Our next partner is the real deal, Organe. Organe is famous for their organic plant protein powder.

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Where do you fall in lesbian world? Do you identify as a lesbian? I never have. I never have. I did briefly when I was like 20, because I met, I was with a lesbian. So I thought, oh, I guess I'm not. But I'd always dated men before that

and was still attracted to them. I just wanted to be part of the culture, you know? But I never really have identified that way. Because I've always- Yeah, because I guess I think about there's such a culture around being a lesbian. I'm a big fan, I'm a big fan. Would you consider yourself pansexual?

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I always say bisexual just because I feel like it's like good for the cause to like really vocalize that I am attracted to men specifically. But what I mean is pansexual, all genders and stuff. But I feel like it- So you're a power pan. I'm a power pan.

I'm a power Peter Pan. Power Peter Pan. Yeah. Okay. So would you say you're a power lesbian? Both of you are in kind of power lesbian couples, I would say. And that contributes, I think, to being a power lesbian as being like part of a unit.

In a part of a couple. Maybe, I don't know. I would say Tig's a power lesbian. Yeah, you get shipped on. I would say you're a power lesbian. I would say May is a power pan. No, I don't think I have that quality. It's like an authoritativeness in life.

I think about power lesbian as like so capable, just like getting shit done, you know, or like, you know what I mean? And I'm like in a hotel using Q-tips and dreaming about Atlantis and I don't know. So Fortune, would you, because you know AI already has like, you know, we've already got like Roombas and stuff, like AI house cleaning robots and things, but is there something in your life that you hate doing that AI could do for you? Yeah, for sure.

Not to take us off course, but real quick. Look at my legs. Real quick. Have you ever thought about how we say Pontes, but if the Pontes had a pun on them, they would be called Pontes? Fortune, put the rum down. We're trying to answer a serious AI question. Okay.

Put your grum bumties down. Yes, bumties. I really thought when you said not to take us off course, that it would be like- You know what, lie down on the couch, sleep it off, and we will just wait for you to come back. Anyway, just think about that. We'll take it.

Just think about that, okay? Okay, May is completely frozen. Oh no, May's not even a free, I thought May just hated my joke. Probably did. I want to get May, I need May's take. May is frozen right now and I really need to hear May's take on this

because May loves puns. Hello? There's May. May, May I needed, what's I needed, what's your take? I loved it. Yes! I loved it. It was a bigger swerve subject wise than I was expecting.

You're like, I don't want to take us off course, but here's a totally unrelated. I loved it. I'm so happy. Okay, now back to brass tacks. Is that how you, is that the way you use that phrase? Well, wait, I want to go off course too. I'm realizing you're on vacation. Is, is, um, Jack's just out surfing alone?

Yeah, she's on the beach. Okay, she's lounging and somewhere out there. I know. We saw it's beautiful and perfect. Okay. The pale moonlight. Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight. What's that from? It's a little mouse singing. Fival?

Yes! Fival doesn't tell. Anyway, not to take us off course again. Okay, in the future, we should alternate. One of us should be high or on pills or drunk or something. I only had one mango daiquiri. But I am in the Caribbean. You know, a lot of people that drink too much claim, I only had one drink.

I swear. Yeah. Okay. I swear one, but it's the Caribbean and they could have put extra rum in there. I think they did. What would happen, do you think, if we did one where Thomas was wasted? He'd be just chiming in all the time, putting sound effects on.

I guess I would like AI to make all my appointments for me. Make that. Ah, Thomas. I would like AI to do that, make all my appointments for me. Like an assistant? Yeah, that's gotta be coming, right? Yeah, you're setting your sights low.

And I feel like that could- Oh, we want a bigger thing. Well, Tig said climate change. Ah, that's true. It's hard to follow climate change. AI, fix AI. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop AI.

That's a big one. My two are, and I think they're working on this, but it's crazy that they haven't done it yet, like decode whale song, like translate what the whales are saying. Mm. Mm. They should be able to just feed it all in,

notice the pattern. And what do you want with this information of what the whales are saying? I want to get the goss. I want to find out what the gossip is down there. I think there's a lot of drama probably going on. What do they say? I've got a whale of a tail.

Or people are like, we're having a whale of a time. And if you really think about that, what is that? Just moving slowly through the ocean? It doesn't seem... I don't know, whale of a time. Yeah, they're not big partiers, whales, right? Don't you think about putting me in SeaWorld? Or, and then I don't want to be a... Fortune light out. ...cliche of myself, but an AI kind of... It's not a sex robot.

Sex bot? Yeah, but I mean, and it's so cliché. It's like I'm bored of myself for even saying it, but yeah, I want something that can read my mind and know exactly what I wanna hear and just like say dirty shit to me. Oh, wow. And then like, I feed it my personality into it, so then it can detect exactly my perfect match of-

Couldn't you say all the dirty things you wanted to hear and then have it said in somebody else's voice and record it and then, I don't know. I don't know why that feels more embarrassing. It's like when you're hooking up with someone, you're like, I don't wanna have to say what I want. I want them to read my mind and do everything I want. So I want the AI.

Can you give us a taste of what you like to hear? Please. I don't know. Filthy shit. I don't know. Give us one line. You're going to spank your bottom. Fortune, lie down.

Spank your bottom. Fortune, lie down. I mean, no, you. No, you. I'm going to spank your bottom. You've been bad. You've been bad. You've been bad.

You've been bad. You've been bad. You've been bad. You've been bad. You've been bad. You've, I mean. No, you. No, you. I'm gonna spank your bottom. You've been bad. Fortune, Thomas, fortune. And let's hear May's. Let's hear one line of May's

dirty talk. I'm gonna talk dirty to you. Take off your ponties. Take off your ponties. You know, something about puns. Take off your ponties. Take off your ponties. Something about puns. I don't know. I don't know.

May, back on track. Let's hear one thing you like to hear. Maybe some dialogue from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something. Which is? I'm blushing right now. It's blushing. It depends on the situation, but you know what I'm thinking?

Fortune's flushing. I told you about my water kink, right? No. Oh. Of someone, I think, yeah, Thomas is nodding. Wait, Thomas says yes. It's crazy how much everyone knows about me. Okay, again, we blocked it out. What was it? It's just how much everyone knows about me.

What was it? It's just that like, I think I must have watched a TV show at a formative time where someone was like having sex and then the girl poured, like gave them a drink of water but like poured it into their mouth kind of with like one hand on the back of their head and like fed them the water. You remembering that?

And it's like, it's such a dumb, simple thing, but I've always wanted someone to do that because I'm really busting my ass in the bedroom doing some great work and then I'm exhausted. Yeah, you need a water break. I need a water break and so I want the person to feed me the water, but I don't want to have to make a big thing of it or ask for it. And every time I've told someone- They need to know. They need to know.

They need to just instinctually know. May has pooped, needs some hydration. Not May has pooped, May is pooped. Big, big poop. May has pooped and needs some electrolytes. Maybe you could, here, I got a plan. Maybe it's not as sexy, but what if you had a camel pack on your back?

Those water things that has the tube. With a long straw? Yeah, it picks up to your mouth. Oh my God. And you're just like, they're like putting it up to your mouth. Oh, so they hand the straw to me, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because anytime someone's tried to do that for me and make that dream come true, they've

spilled the water and it's been worse. You know, clinking. Okay, what about this? Does this take the sexy away if like you've worked it? You have done your job to a T, you are exhausted, you need some hydration and you're handed like a sippy cup or a cup that has a crazy straw, you know, those like silly straws. Yeah, the sippy cup is a borderline.

But what if it was one of those straws that like wrap around your eyes and go around your head and do all that? I could try that. It's not quite the same, but yeah, what about an AI machine that it, yeah, it can pour the water and it's not quite the same. But yeah, what about an AI machine that, yeah, it can pour the water and it can give me the water. Not to take us off course here.

Oh gosh. But this does tie into that. Did you see the movie Baby Girl? Not yet and I want to. So this guy, you know, she wants to be dominated, Nicole Kidman. Yeah. And this guy, she's the she wants to be dominated, Nicole Kidman. Yeah. And this guy, she's the boss and he's an intern.

Power dynamic happening here. She wants to be submissive though. And so she, they kind of flirt and she's like, no, we can't. And then in front of all their coworkers, the waiter drops a glass of milk off for Nicole Kidman. And this intern, he makes eyes with her like, you better do it, you better drink that milk. And she gulps it down. Oh, because he ordered the milk for her secretly?

Yeah, he ordered the milk for her. And when she was leaving, she walks past them and he goes, good girl. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, oh, see, I thought you were going to say she was lactose intolerant. And I'm not. I don't want that. But I thought that was hilarious. Later on, when they're in a full blown thing, he has her lick milk like a cat. Yeah.

Fortune Marie. Full. Fortune Marie. Fortune. It's crazy. And one guy, I saw it in the actual theater and this is why I miss seeing movies in the theater. At one point something happens

and the guy in the theater goes, oh hell no. And I was like, that just made the movie for me. Do you yell those things out at movies? No, but it makes me laugh when there's a moment that you're all thinking that. And someone says it, it's really funny. What if you went to a movie with me and found out I talked to the movie the whole time?

No, thank you. You go, what's happening? Oh hell no. Oh, hell no. Well, should we hear what Kara has to say? Yeah. What would I like AI to do? I'd like it to be a super assistant. I think that's where the pluses are and to coordinate my travel and everything else together

and to tell me what I want, be a really good assistant. I don't have an assistant, but I think that would be great to do if they were accurate and they understood. The other, the only thing I would worry about is giving some technology company all my information, but they already have it. So I think being a really good assistant like Jarvis in Iron Man would be great. I think the most, the most like telling part of that was she said for it to tell me what I want. And that really appeals to me as well.

Like it knows everything about you, it's got all your data, everything that's ever been online. You tell it your whole life story and then it says this is what's best for you. That is so relaxing. It's like being a kid again. AI is gonna parent us, it's gonna reparent us. It's gonna say, fortune, this is what you need to do to be the best version of yourself.

But you know what happens when people do that? What? It dumbs you down. Yeah, you're right. We're all going to be dumb. Dummy dum dums. I've been on trips before where like they tell you everything's planned and you don't have to think for yourself and everything's done.

And I've watched a group of very smart people become totally useless. Yeah, yeah. Because someone is planning every minute. You don't have to think, you know, like they couldn't even like at one point we were left to our own devices and they couldn't order an Uber. Oh, my God. We know how to order an Uber. What's happening here? It's like the muscle atrophies in the brain. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It will just make everybody incapable if it does too much for us. I can't imagine that Kara would get dumb ever. I mean, she's pretty smart, but the rest... She's pretty smart. She's very smart, but the... She's pretty smart. She's very smart. Okay, yeah.

She was the MC of the morning show Emmy panel, okay? Oh yeah. I've seen her intellectually sore, okay? Oh yeah, she's brilliant. I don't mean to take away from that. I'm saying the rest of us. But no one's immune. Yeah.

Yeah. If you have someone doing too much for you. I've seen it with celebrities before when they've had everything done for them. There comes a point where I've seen someone not know how to make a bed. Yeah, you become like a child. Who?

Not gonna say. Do you make your bed every day? Yeah. I like it made. I know that that's like a big indicator of success, right? Like that's one of those micro habits that if you make your bed every morning, you're gonna have a better day, a better life.

Well, I got a lot on today because I gotta leave this note behind this painting. You have a lot of particles of something flying around in the- Yeah, there's like- Wait, what? Some kind of like moth or- Like several particles flying around in the- Yeah, there's like- Wait, what? Some kind of like moth or- Like several particles flying around. Or particles.

Is it the ghost of Marilyn Monroe? Probably. I will be going back out into the wild. Jackson, I have spa appointments. Ooh. Oh, nice, what are you gonna get done? We have- Gonna or a massage just massage We don't have a lot of time here and they only had

You know so much times available. So we had to eat get in there. Yeah, it's for me ladies birthday. Yeah So, you know, I'll tell her happy. They might have another daiquiri So, you know. We'll tell her happy birthday. I probably might have another daiquiri. Yes. Oh, I heard you even though you were kind of whispering that out of the side of your mouth. I actually heard you say you might have another daiquiri.

I might have one more. See, did you hear that, May? No, it was like ventriloquism. I thought Thomas said that. No. I might even switch over to a pinocchia. Whoa. Please post some pictures. I might even switch over to a pina colada. Whoa.

Please post some pictures. Yeah, please. We have our show in Nashville and we have our show in Austin. Handsome coming to you live. Austin's almost sold out by the way. Austin's almost sold out? So if you want to come, I would not wait on that because it's like 97% sold.

Yes. And actually Nashville too is getting very close. Get your tickets now friends. And we have tickets and merchandise at handsomepod.com including our brand new key party key chains. But if you want to save money, fly out to where are you again? Fortune. Outside of St. Kitts. Four seasons.

I'm in the West Indies. And go to Fortune's hotel room, look for the little note and get a free key chain. Free key chain. And a streaming link to our next live stream. Yeah. And get get to May's room. Also get a keychain. Yeah, that is room 302 at the Silver Lake Inn and Pool. If you do send us a picture of yourself or video really doing this.

Yeah, I cannot stress enough. We will give you a free key chain. We will. And a free $15 ticket to our next streaming show. Whoa. Or whenever, yeah, whenever you find these notes in these hotel rooms, whatever that next show is, boom. You don't have to rush and do it for the next show,

but just, you know what I'm saying. Get there. Yeah, get there if you can. Anyone have something to promote? I really do and I'm scared, because the venues are too big and I'm doing music and I'm doing four big shows. I really, really need people to come. I'm so scared.

Where? I should be more confident about it, but okay. Yeah. The Regent Theater, February 26. In where? What cities? Oh, in LA. March 1st in Toronto at the Danforth Music Hall.

March 4th at the Gramercy Theater in New York and March 9th at the O2 Forum in Kentish Town in London. I'm going to play my whole album and have special guests and tell some stories, but it's going to be super fun. It'll be good. Yeah, that's exciting. Congrats.

Yeah, you can go to maymartinmusic.com. I'm doing stand-up. I'll be in Oxnard, California the weekend of February 21st and 2nd. The Irvine Improv in March as well as Ontario, California and Huntsville, Alabama. Then I kick off my theater tour in Savannah, Georgia, Charleston, South Carolina, Albuquerque, Phoenix, Cleveland, Columbus, and Greensboro, North Carolina. Oh, and Roanoke. I am going June 14th, Eureka Springs, Arkansas. And also, um, keep your ears and eyes open for information on the, um,

documentary that I produced called come see me in the good light. It had an amazing premiere at Sundance, just standing ovation. That's so cool. People, it's such a beautiful film. I'm so proud of it. And Brandi Carlile and Sarah Bareilles wrote the original song with Andrea Gibson,

who is one of the subjects of the documentary. And the song is just exquisite. It's so great. It's so great. And as always, tell your pals about the pod. Yeah, share your favorite episodes with people. Bring them into the circle. And you know what?

Let's keep growing this community. I have to say to you guys. What? Thank you keep growing this community. I have to say to you guys. What? Mm-hmm. Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again. Was not expecting. You're a pal and a confidant.

And until next time. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. That was a hate gum podcast. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gun podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check and make sure it's not the off season before booking that last-minute trip to the Caribbean.

Checking First is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subjects to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliate, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the So True podcast now on HeadGum. Every week me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on. I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge. Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like

Brittany Broski or Drew Fualow or my actual biological mother Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth and if we find it great and if not no worries. So subscribe to So True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts, and watch video episodes on the So True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday. Love ya. Hey, it's Nicole Byer here. Let me ask you something.

Are you tired of endless swiping on dating apps? Fed up with awkward first dates and disappointing hookups? Girls, same! Welcome to Why Won't You Date Me, the podcast where I figure out love and how to suck less at dating. Each week I get real with comedians, friends, and celebrities about their love lives. We swap dating horror stories, awkward hookups, and dive into the messy and wonderful world of relationships. I've chatted with amazing guests like Conan O'Brien, Whitney Cummings, Sarah Silverman, Trixie Mattel, Tiffany Haddish, and so many more.

So whether you're single, mingling, or boot up, there's something in it for everyone. Tune into Why Won't You Date Me With Me, Nicole Byer, and discover insights that might just save you from your next dating disaster. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and catch full video episodes on YouTube! New episodes drop every Friday!