Handsome - Kate Micucci asks about childhood lies
Episode Date: November 11, 2025The delightful, many-nicknamed Kate Micucci graces Handsome with a question about the weird lies you believe as a kid! Plus the straight women dance, Fortune going in for a kiss, a big announ...cement about Handsome in the new Zootopia movie, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Handsome pot. Chitin the friends on the handsome pod. Cheers. Cheers.
Welcome to the Handsome Pod.
We're live, in person, live with each other, not with you.
We're live.
We are all, you guys.
I'm Mae Martin.
I'm Forgeon Feemster, and I am Tignotaro.
And we're together in person again, sitting on a couch.
I love that song.
I know.
I love to sing it to you.
Came out in the 80s.
Yeah.
What's going on?
Oh, sorry.
Oh.
Okay.
I did you do.
It is.
It is, like, listen, the show's fun.
Yeah.
Zoom does it.
Yeah.
Because it needs to.
Yeah.
But my God, is it a different vibe in person?
It's a different vibe.
It's so much nicer.
Look, you guys, right in the eyes.
Yeah.
How attractive are we?
How handsome?
We're very handsome.
How handsome are we?
We're real handsome.
Yeah.
We're all looking good.
I'm full of ourselves today.
May, are you still the number one star in Hollywood?
Absolutely not.
in Hollywood.
I'm sure I've dipped down.
I haven't checked.
Okay, tell us what is different about your life.
Oh, yeah.
Has anything changed?
But nothing?
Come on.
Are you getting calls from people in the biz?
No, I mean, I got my...
I called you.
You called me.
I got my phone back after that retreat.
And, yeah, there was a minute where it was like popping off.
But if you put your phone away, nothing's different.
Except I've had a couple people in life...
Oh, we get to the truth.
come up to me and like confront me about my character's choices in wayward which i like i'll get
into it with them yeah i mean i'm with them yeah he's a flawed character right but yeah nothing other
than that nothing really so is it are you like gosh i you know my whole life i i'm going after this
goal i get the top top top honor the number one show in the world number one in croatia number one
on star meter and you're saying there's nothing i didn't star meter wasn't on my
radar as it doesn't even work for
if this changes nothing.
Tell us what it's like up there.
What is it like
to be the number one star?
It's a lot of the same.
You still have a raccoon in your back car.
I still have a raccoon, a skunk,
a possum.
Are they impressed? Do they know?
They haven't said shit.
Really?
It's fucked. It's actually fucked.
But you're still putting your pants on
one leg at a time? One leg at a
time. I'm still doing spells.
I'm still, you know, tormented by the same things.
Are you still an awkward person?
What do you think?
Yeah.
What did I say when we got here today?
I can't believe we're actually here together.
I'm scared.
Yeah.
No, I, in a real way, like, is there, what, how do you feel?
How did it feel to be like, wow, my show really broke through.
I'm glad that I'm 38 and not 20
so I feel like I've been doing it long enough
that it is a job and it's not my whole self-worth
and identity so but it feels amazing
but you know you don't really
the main thing is you're kind of only as good
as your last thing or like if it had really bombed
that might have so you're only as good as number one
is that what you're saying
Well, like, if it had really bombed,
that might have legitimately, like,
affected my ability to get another show away
or do so. I'm like, okay, at least I know
hopefully I'll be able to make another show.
And so I'm waiting.
I'm going to have, like, a big check-in.
I thought you were saying a big check.
Yeah, I have a big check coming.
I'm waiting.
I have a big check coming.
Yeah.
But, no, it feels, yeah, the same.
I mean, you probably have a lot of new,
a lot of new.
new fans yeah i mean it's it is tempered by the climate that we live in like it is that there's a
blowback as well there really is and the exposure is kind of scary and like oh yeah thinking about
my tour coming up and getting but then i don't know the reason i went to that retreat place partly
was because i was like this is everything i've ever worked for really and i and i'm not really
enjoying it or it's not penetrating right like there's some i feel like i don't deserve it or whatever
and so hopefully
yeah I feel
like I'm appreciating it
I'm happy about it
but I don't know I still feel
I have a question
yeah hit me
you dyed your hair brown for the show
but it's still kind of brown
yeah you know what
that's your question
I died it yesterday
I mean like I guess let me pose it
as a question
have you abandoned the full on blonde
I like it I just
you just were so blonde for so long
long. Yeah. And then I went back to blonde after the show and then just a couple days ago I went.
Girl, that's your question. Girl. Girl, there are a lot of people probably wanted to know the
answer to this as well. We have a moment here with a star and you're, girl, you're talking about
girl. May's star reader. I want to know if May is twirling around in their house alone saying I'm a star.
And they're not. So I moved on to the next question, which is, are we staying blonde? Would you
have noticed that I didn't notice but yeah you would not have noticed but I see it now I see it
it's pretty similar girl girl girl girls girls girls girls girls are you going back to blonde oh my god I thought
we were gonna I thought you're gonna say so I just freestyle with boxes that I buy from walled greens I
die it myself yeah so we already knew this girl girl I forgot girl please girls
yeah um what about what about you guys what about are you do you already have an idea for another
show yes okay yeah and it's not like a wayward too well that's in conversation but i i my
instinct my gut instinct is if i was really going to be honest with myself i i have an idea for
another world i want to course you do i want that i'm pumped about but but who knows if i got
really pumped about an idea for wayward too but and if they gave you a big fat paycheck you know
It's always helpful.
The thing is like, girl, these girls now.
Girl, we would go shopping, would we not?
Oh, my God.
When did you buy?
Flannel.
This is us being straight women?
Yeah, this is us going through the shopping mall.
It's us being straight ladies.
Look at that flannel, girl.
Girl, look at those hiking boats.
Okay.
Wait, what was our questions?
How are you?
I'm good.
Yeah.
How's life on the golf course?
Life on the golf course is great.
I've actually losing weight on this show
because I'm walking so much on these golf courses
and I'm, you know, I'm play will's caddy.
Yeah.
So I have this giant golf bag and they want it to look realistic.
So everything is full.
I'm like, can we not put these fake clubs in here?
Yeah, surely.
No, it is all like, like, loaded.
girl girl it is loaded oh my god and will won't help you i mean
isn't this will help me isn't this an improv show because couldn't you improv that your character
always tries to give will the heavy no part of it is that i'm not i don't know anything about golf
and i'm always like handing the wrong clubs that's funny yeah yeah but also i like being on set
because the because of the food is because it's healthier than i would have at home really my
where I'm like snacking way more on set
But somehow I'm losing weight
Because I'm getting way more steps then
Yeah
How many steps are you getting in
On the golf course there, girl
Oh girl
I'm probably averaging like 12,000
Girl
And the day I moved
Don't overdo a girl
Oh yeah, it's the new house
Oh yeah the new house
I am in a new place
It's great
You feel
Girl
Girl tell I hung up all your fairy lights
Well I'm still getting it
I'm situated.
I'm still unpacking.
But I like it because it reminds me of my house
that I own for many years.
It's just a little bigger.
But it's so manageable.
Yeah, smaller than the old place.
A way smaller.
So you go in, you feel like you know where everything is.
It's one story.
It's just easy.
Yeah.
And that's what I wanted to get back to.
It was just like, I didn't want this massive,
thing. Palace. You were tired of living in that palace. That it just
feels easier. So I like that because I just don't have to worry about a house and a bunch of
rooms and furniture. I still have to... 12 bedrooms. Yeah. I still have to buy like a dining
room table and you know I still need furniture. There's empty, the one empty bedroom and
were you ever at a point in life where when you were
furnishing your apartment you use like a card table oh yeah for sure a hundred percent
and just stuff i would find on the street yeah yeah my ex drug a couch home full of scabies
yeah yeah yeah you do what you can in those days but i mean i slept with a sleeping bag like
i i just didn't want to spend my money on betting i guess so when i got kicked out and i was 16 i
brought my, I had my sleeping bag with me, and then I didn't get an, I mean, I, until I was 21, probably, and I was just sleeping in a sleeping bag with no, like on a mattress, but with no sheets or, it was very comforting. I was like, it's, it's my, like my father's living arrangement. Like, he had a card table and just loose change all over it and a mattress on the floor. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it's, there's something comforting about it. Is there? I don't know, actually.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, why would you say that?
I'm trying to remember.
I was very attached to that sleeping bag of the little cocoon.
I'm sure.
Because that's like the thing you had with you.
Yeah, a little duffel bag.
It'll be cool once I get this place kind of just all sorted out.
But right now, like, curtains don't come for a minute still.
Yeah, you move and you get excited.
You go online and buy stuff and then you don't realize it's like delivery April 26.
So people are like peek.
Seeing you run around your gams?
The back of the house is open.
The rest, I have some blinds in the front.
Good.
But, yeah.
So just the raccoons are getting a glimpse of your little naked bum as you run from the shower.
Do you walk around naked?
Not full naked, no.
But like what?
But like you're just no pants.
In my granny panties.
Just a shirt, no pants.
Flannel, t-shirt.
Sports bra, no pants.
Shirt, no pants.
Is that the porky pig?
So yeah, everything's good.
It's just, yeah, kind of just living life right now.
You haven't spent much time in the house.
You're always away.
Well, that's the thing is this show came so out of nowhere.
And it happened, like, they hired me.
And then we're like, we're filming in two weeks.
And I'm just like, oh, my God.
And I had this full tour schedule.
So I had to reschedule a number of shows because with the golf courses, they're like, we can't, like, work around this.
This is when this golf course is available.
Yeah.
This is when we have to film.
Yeah.
And a lot of those.
I mean, golf is important.
Like, they can't shift schedules.
No.
It was, a lot of the times were Friday nights.
Right.
And I was like, ugh.
So I had to reschedule these shows, which I hate doing.
And somehow I've managed not to have to reschedule many shows, but it was just such a quick turnaround that I am, I didn't want to.
also rescheduled the Saturday shows
because those were like big theaters
like the Chicago Theater and all these places that
take a long time to book like a year
ahead so I'm
filming a lot of nights on Fridays
to like two in the morning
and then getting on a 6 a.m. flight
girl
and it's yeah
so I can't really catch up right now
but it's all good stuff
so I really don't have any like
ugh about it because I'm loving
all the things I'm doing
And TIG, is Stephanie's still away?
You're still solo.
Stephanie's away.
How are you feeling?
Being a movie star.
Yeah.
I'm feeling good.
I'm like, it's so funny.
I'm like, as I told you, like really into, stand on top of things because the whatever the house police might come by.
Oh, yeah.
I love that.
I love that.
Make sure the laundry's done.
Just to come and check.
can never yeah just make sure like yeah everything in order and like I feel like if they went through
and checked everything's in order yeah you know we got food clean clothes put away and yeah that's made
and Lisa Gilroy does a thing where she pretends to be her own assistant so she'll go she'll go okay
I'm going in her mind I'm going out and my assistant's coming over just to really get stuff done so
I hope my assistant does a good job then she'll leave the house go back in as the assistant be like
gotta get the work done for two hours
and then
that's mental illness
I saw that's cute
oh she said she saw you
yeah she I was
walked by a restaurant
I think I was with Max and Finn
and I saw her in there having
was it her or hers
yeah
girl
but yeah
Stephanie's just having
the time of her life
that's so good
I mean it's so it's so nice
Just to know that it's been a really positive experience.
Because that time difference is annoying because I have a lot of friends in England and it's, yeah, eight hours ahead or seven hours.
Yeah, eight hours.
So were you FaceTiming with the boys when you can?
Well, they'll do that on their iPads because they're allowed to be on iPads in the mornings before their day starts.
And then no more for the day.
Yeah.
But they'll FaceTime her.
Like on their own accord?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And, um, but Finn is, he's so, he's type A, you know, he'll come in. Maybe I told you this. I was in bed. It was 6.45. Did I mention this? No. This is like two weeks in. Yeah. And he goes, uh, mayor, uh, at 645, I'm, uh, making my breakfast. Max hasn't eaten and we have to be out of the door at 740. Oh, wow. And I was like, and I was lying about it. I go.
like, thank you, Finn, thanks for the reminder. And he's like, okay. And then he leaves. And two days
ago, I was on a Zoom with my, I do 7 a.m. Zoom with my therapist. And so I'm on with her.
And then she sees me look over and she's like, oh, did somebody walk in? I said, yeah, hold on one
a second. What is it, Finn? He goes, oh, I just wanted to remind you. Today we have swim. So just
have to make sure you get our swimsuits in the bag. And I was like, oh, my God. And I was like, oh,
God, he's so funny.
Like, I really, we really have the odd couple between the two of them, you know?
But it is such a delight to be, when I told my therapist, I go, oh, my son, he's very, like, he loves his schedule.
He loves a schedule.
And I said, but I feel like I've been holding down the fort pretty well.
And she said, well, it sounds like you would have no other choice with Finn in the house.
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But yeah, we went out to dinner
I took them, surprised them,
picked them up from school
and we went to dinner
and then they were like,
can we go for ice cream after?
And I would have normally been like,
it's a school night, but I was like,
yeah, let's go for ice cream.
Yeah, and we just had so much fun
just laughing at dinner and it just it was it was fun that's what i've been up to i love that's
really nice yeah i like that oh yeah they're cool i'm going to the cheesecake factories tonight i don't
want either of you to be jealous i am jealous bury the lead i know sorry i didn't tell you that
sooner who are you what's going on there they have great vegan options by the way they do yes
they're they're a place i won't order it but i'll check it out guys regular spaghetti and a
salad that's vegan if you don't put cheese on i love you too but when i'm touring cheesecake factory
is uh is a place that i i can rely on i love that i love it well with my friends zach noey
towers uh he's a very funny comedian he listens to hansom shout out zach uh he opens for me
quite a bit and then taylor tomlinson who has also asked a question on the hansom pod the three
of you are going to the cheese house have a friend date and why the cheese
cheesecake factory. That's what Zach picks and we do love the cheesecake factory. And is he, was he, he loves, like, I love it. Not ironically. Nobody's ironically going. We are going for the genuine love of the cheesecake factory. Well, I love that. Yeah. I'm stoked. Yeah. My favorite thing is like going to see a movie at the grove or something and going to cheesecake factory before. By yourself. Yeah, sometimes I'll go by myself. You'll go to a movie and then take yourself out for a treat at the, yeah, I think I have probably.
I'll take my little notebook all right we're going to that cheesecake factory at the grove at the
grove and taylor wants us to get the seat that allows us to look at the people going into the movie
theater oh yeah that's good what she wants that is her one request my one request is to order cheesecake
and i will do that yeah you will girl i want to get that peanut butter one oh yeah that's what i'd go for
yeah how many different cheesecakes do they have like 40 right i don't know
This is not a paid sponsorship.
We're not going to be paid about cheesecake factory.
We're not just casually talking about the cheesecake.
No, but I do like a chain restaurant in general.
Do you?
I love chilies.
I like, maybe it's a, because I got a touch of the tism.
I'm like, I like the rigidity.
I like knowing what to expect.
I like, I know what I'm going to get.
Am I allowed to say touch of the tism?
Honestly, I don't know.
Okay.
I think I'm allowed to own it.
But it's self-diagnosed, so I don't know.
Oh, you're self-diagnosed.
Yeah.
Would you ever want to get to the bottom of it, for real?
Well, it happened because so many people...
We know you love to get to the bottom of things.
I love to get to the bottom.
Is that a sexual joke?
Girl, no.
Although, you know...
Girl, Marie.
Girl Marie.
I did, speaking of sexual things, I did...
What do you got for us?
Well, I did just remember.
Okay.
about 20 minutes ago and my stomach dropped that so when I got back from the retreat, I walk in my door, girls, and I find a, I'd forgotten that I'd ordered a bunch of like BDSM stuff, like tons of stuff. Wait, what is that? Wait, what does BDSM stand for? Bad, bad, dominance. Something, something say to masochism, right? Oh, like, weapons?
No, like, just, well, anyways.
Wait, can you tell us a couple of the things?
Okay.
This is what our listeners tune in for.
Because, yeah, it takes plugging her ears.
Oh, grandma.
Grandma Marie.
Things.
Whips, chains, handcuffs.
I had like a sash in mind that I'm planning.
Air muffs.
A sash?
Oh, like, that you're going to do this with someone.
So there's like,
there's like leather stuff that kind of
attaches the person's wrist to their hips. Wait, the leather part is what
threw you fortune? True, good point.
Leather, leather. There's like bondage stuff and then there's some
there's like some pretty weird stuff. You know, I just got
excited later. You were in a place. Yeah, yeah. So I get back from my very
pure wholesome retreat and I've got basically a whole dungeon waiting for me in the
Plus hot dogs.
This is, yeah.
And a harness for the hot dogs.
Oh, that was, cut that out.
This is gay.
But it was like a fridge-sized box of stuff.
Whoa.
And I've just 20 minutes ago remembered that my cleaner is coming today, this poor woman.
And I've, I have unboxed, and it's sitting there in my fucking bedroom.
Oh, my God.
And she is the sweetest, purest woman.
And I forgot to hide it.
She thinks it's a Halloween costume.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's a good one.
Some of this stuff, I don't know.
Well, you'll go home and she'll be there and you'll just like, I'm like, can't waver Halloween.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You have to play into it.
Oh, did my package go?
Yes.
You're going to be scared of this.
Oh, and then you'll be like, this is all the wrong stuff.
This is not what I ordered.
I did not.
This is not what I heard of it.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my God.
I'm trying to go as little bo-peep.
Yeah.
Little Bo peep.
Peep.
Oh, God.
Um, you know what I wanted to ask you? Um, now I told you, Stephanie and I are waiting until she gets home. To bondage. To watch. To girl Marie. Girl Marie. Girl Marie. To watch wayward. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Um, thank you for waiting. Um, but you mentioned that there is some crazy sex scene. Here is my question. Have you got there yet? Oh, yeah. Have you? Shit.
Oh, wait, have I?
You know, I think.
I'm on episode six.
Yeah, you have, yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't know if it was getting even steamier at some point.
Okay, but something happened where you're like, girl.
Okay.
How do you feel about your parents seeing that?
Oh, well, I asked them if they'd watched.
I mean, to be honest, my parents have not acknowledged me that they've watched or finished the show.
They have, by the way.
Oh, my mom watched it.
Ginger watched.
And I forgot.
Ginger said to tell you that she.
you watched it and you did a great job.
Oh, Ginger, thank you.
That sounds like classic Ginger.
Yeah, she was like, I watched Wayward.
You have to tell May, I watched it.
It was great.
May he did a great job.
Do you know what?
Your mother is the perfect example of when people are older and they say, you know, I was
once young too.
I'm that same person.
I'm just older.
You think that it's like this crazy concept.
that an older person is going to take something in
or have an awareness.
Like, you're just like, I can't.
That's why I was asking, like, with parents.
But the fact that Ginger isn't like clutching her pearls,
she's like, just like, tell me what a great job.
And that's amazing.
And I should have followed up with what did you think about?
I didn't.
Clearly, my mom didn't think twice about it.
I know my parents are like slowly watching it, I think.
and I said, did you, were you, my mom said that she watched that scene like with her hands over her eyes, so I, which is good, I think.
And what about your brother? How do you feel about that? I don't, I'm not specifically, I had to put that out of my mind on it on the day. Let's bring it back in.
Oh, God. Your family is watching. It's very weird, but it's, it's almost weird that a bunch of strangers have seen what I look like getting railed. Like, that's, that's weirder than like, I don't know.
But you were naked in.
good quite a bit right or no you're naked right now that's what our
listeners don't realize is Mays sitting here completely naked and flexing weirdly tied
up yeah yeah yeah no I'm doing the time oh you're doing the I'm doing the time
you wouldn't want to be tied yeah sure yeah what is that called a domineering
person domenatry you're the domenatrix people don't pause after
doma doma nearer doma nearing person you have to be the one that's like I think I'm a
shut your mouth.
Is that how it works?
You shut your mouth.
Or I'm handcuffing you.
This is a new character.
If you don't do what I say, I'm going to tie you up.
Oh, my God.
Is it like that?
I wonder if I could do this.
You have to start a dom business.
A dom business.
Take that.
Ha!
Ha!
How'd that feel?
Yeah.
You're going to take that like it.
I mean, it's not bad.
Okay, I'll work on it.
What are you?
You're just like, oh my God, I don't know.
I turn into like, is it, manwra, we know what, it is a lot of like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Like under your breath?
I kind of like, your voice gets deeper.
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I was like, no, I don't know.
No, I don't know.
I just.
You clearly channel something.
You go into a difference.
I go into an altered state.
Exactly.
It comes very naturally.
Oh, so you're real good at it.
Well, I liked it.
Because there's something nice about like, like, if you're really going to town on someone, you're doing it for their pleasure.
So you're almost bottoming from the top.
Like you're working hard.
You're putting on a show for this person.
And there's a nice, I like it.
I like both sides of it.
I'm into, yeah, yeah.
You're bottoming from the top.
I do.
Fortune can't, hold on.
Give fortune a minute.
So you're, but you're not taking it.
You're giving it.
I just mean, I just mean you're in service.
Are you topping from the bottom?
No, bottoming from the top.
You can top from the bottom.
The top from the bottom.
I'm not good enough at math to know what we're talking about or what's happening.
But I wish you and whoever's getting this all.
Who is getting railed and tied up.
We wish you guys the best.
Thank you.
Yes.
But you got to have a sense of humor about it all.
Like that's...
I do.
Yeah, you...
We are currently laughing about it.
Yeah, true.
You got to.
You got to.
You got to.
I just like that you're open about it.
I think it's great.
Yeah.
Sex positive, baby.
I'm sex positive.
Well, life is short.
I don't think I want someone talking, like, I don't like people of being.
mean to me
I don't think it's my thing
Yeah
That's fair
Even in a sexual way
Yeah
I don't know that I like
People being mean to me
I don't mind the dirty talk stuff
What do you mean you don't mind it
Or you like it?
I don't like it
Yeah
I don't
I yeah
You like it
But I don't mind it
But I don't want to be like
handcuffed
Oh okay okay
Yeah
But you could be handcuffed very kindly
There's something hot about that
Maybe, I mean, no one's done it.
So maybe I just don't know if I like it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because we got nothing to be guilty of our love.
You guys making eye contact while seeing that.
That we got a way to the sky.
I don't know the rest of the world.
Oh, I do.
I just know shadows falling.
We stand alone.
Do you guys see Bett Miller?
On the street, everybody, if we've got a heartache of their own.
I need to be illegal.
We need to listen to that.
Oh, we, I thought you're going to say we had to get Barbara Streisand.
Or like, we got to get Babs, we know you're listening.
Please send in your video.
I mean, we got to get Bet Midler.
Did you see her on Colbert?
I love Bet Midler.
She, on Stephen Colbert, she's saying, she was like, I haven't sung in years, but she's saying the, uh, thank you, thank God for you.
Well, she sang Wimini My Wins, but she rewrote the lyrics for Stephen Colbert.
Aw.
It was stunning.
Oh.
God, she's good.
I love the Divine Miss M.
The Divine Miss M.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm never met her.
I would like to meet her as well.
I know.
I mean, if we got a question for her, I'd lose my shit.
I was at some sort of event, I think, like a memorial, I think.
Actually, now that I'm saying it, for Gary Marshall.
Okay.
and bet meddler was somebody that sang at his memorial yeah and stephanie not i mean i love bet midler but
stephanie is like really a big big bet meddler fan oh my god and so we were sitting there and then
bet came out and seven he was like oh my god i would die i would die i saw her on on broadway and um
hello dolly oh i wanted to see that it was crazy she got a standing o for walking out on
I regret that I was in New York when she was doing it and I regret not just like paying a million
dollars for the ticket it was incredible speaking of hello dolly pardon man you know gave us a scare
she gave us a scare she's had some health issues she was like pray for her and everyone was
like what's happening yeah I can't be having that didn't she tweet like or whatever it is I'm not
dead yet well yeah and she's also I ain't dead yet yeah I ain't dead yet um but she's been in the middle
of doing her Broadway play
Oh really? Yeah, yeah
Like a bio
Mm-hmm
Yeah and she's like
I think writing, producing
She's been there every day
My friend Beth Malone
Who listens to the podcast
Shout out Beth, that's a star of Fun Home
Oh yeah
Yeah
She's working on that
With Dolly
That's awesome
That's wild
Yeah
The ring of keys
I don't know how it goes but
Clearly
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That age group of women, I'm such a huge fan of like just with Diane Keaton, it made me go,
oh man, we're entering into that phase of our favorite people. That group of women will start dying.
Oh, God.
And I know that's so...
I have something to tell you that we'll absolutely...
Everyone's going to die.
I get it.
No.
Oh, we're okay.
No.
I have something that I talked to Stephanie about yesterday.
What is it?
That I realized...
I said, people would not believe this if I told them.
And she was like, probably not.
I've never seen Diane Keaton in anything.
I can't.
I don't touch me.
This can't be real.
Don't touch me.
father no i've never seen i've never seen i've never seen a national treasure i've met her father of the bride
father of the bride i didn't see father the family stone as good as a gift no i like sob at that movie oh that
movie as good as a gift no i am so glad that i got i got to meet her once at lisa kudra's birthday
party and i'm like was she as dynamic as she seems yes and she was so diane keaton and she was
quirky funny and she had a turtleneck and a glass of wine and gloves and glasses and a hat and I was like this is what I want I had a chance to do a movie with her a couple years ago and I just couldn't they wanted me to fly out four different times and I was on tour and I was like I want to do this just to be around her yeah yeah yeah I just couldn't I never got to meet her and I was genuinely bummed when she passed yeah just because she just does represent an era
of not only movies, but women and just like an interesting person.
Yeah, very interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you do a little Diane Keaton Film Fest?
Well, that's what Stephanie was saying.
She's like, there's certain ones.
She was like, you just really have to see.
Just to see her.
Make life better type thing.
So fun to watch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what she said.
Yeah.
And she just really was talking about how.
how she kind of personifies being yourself is what is the most powerful thing and how
this woman bursts onto the scene basically dressing like a man yeah uh and having her own style
and her own everything even the way she speaks is so unique and she's kind of herself in everything
like a version of herself but yeah so authentic and yeah anyway i just wanted to annoy you well thank you
But I do think it's very sad, of course.
And I do want to, I hope Dolly hangs in there.
Oh, gosh.
I know. We need her around for a long time.
Yeah, nobody's prepared for that.
No.
I wonder if I, like, that's just scratching the surface.
I feel of things that you haven't seen that I just assume that you have.
There's going to be a lot.
There's going to be things I think that would make me so shocked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's no offense to anybody.
No.
I'm like
You're living your life
I just was doing something else
I guess
Yeah
Have you seen any of the scream movies
No
That does not seem like something
To even now is going to want
Can I tell you something
That made Stephanie laugh so hard
I'm going to do press
You know
For this documentary
Yeah we've heard of press
Sure
And I'm going to be doing
Drew Barrymore
I'm doing it next week
Me too
she will talk very and Kelly Clarkson what what day are you 22nd oh my God I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna be in New York at the same time I don't I'm gonna be in New York at the same time yes yes yeah you guys listen to we gotta hit up we gotta hit up New York together listen we'll talk like this to you thank God I'm talking to um Stephanie I'm gonna be talking to Drew yeah and um and oh my God I'm
I wanted to do yours and I just thought like, no, I want to kiss your hands.
Oh, my gosh, Fortune.
Stephanie might be out of town, but she's going to find out.
She's going to see this.
But, so I'm talking to the producer before my appearance.
Yeah.
And the producer just casually says, and also Valerie Bertnelly will be in the news segment with you.
And I go, Valerie Bertonelli.
And I was telling Stephanie, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Valerie Bertnelli and Stephanie was like she goes Valerie Bertnelli was on the sitcom one day
at a time okay and was married to Eddie Van Halen oh this is your this is my wheelhouse
this is 70s and rock and roll I did a segment with her on Kelly Clarkson she's lovely
oh okay well I was just like oh my gosh and Stephanie was like so you've never seen Diane Keaton
in anything and she's like but like you're like thoroughly familiar with Valerie Bertnelly
She was like, I can't, I can't track what.
Yeah.
And I was like, well, she's, she was, you know, in my wheelhouse of the 70s and was married to my favorite rock and roll star.
I will say Diane Keaton very 70s as well.
Absolutely.
But I'm saying that Valerie also had the connection of rock and roll.
Yeah, that was the thread that.
Yeah.
The fact that you know Pitbull and these people.
Oh, good.
I forgot.
Music and documentaries.
That's where.
I can't think we're both doing Drew Barrymore next week.
I know.
I'm so nervous.
I never met her.
Oh, she's the best.
She's so easy.
You're going to, and here's the thing.
And I'm not entirely convinced she's not in love with me, but you will think that she's in love with you.
That's a dangerous.
Yeah.
Dangerous quality to have.
Anytime I see her interact, it's like she'll be in my face.
I'm like, this woman is in love with me.
And then the PA walks up and it's like,
Drew, do you want, you know, pineapple, whatever.
And she treats the PA, the exact same.
And I'm like, for you to remind me of this.
She's in love with me and the show.
She did say recently she's bisexual, I believe.
I think she's always been.
Yeah, pretty children.
So you never know.
I mean, not for you.
You're taken.
You made that very clear.
Anyway, you will love her and you will think she's in love with you.
And she probably, I think she's in love with me, you and the PA and you.
And me too, thank you.
She just has love flowing out of her.
And then Kelly, oh, my God.
Of course, we're obsessed with her.
She's asked the handsome, well, both of them have asked the handsome body question.
Yep, yeah, yeah.
I'm excited.
Well, we'll have to party.
Okay, I said hi.
Are you doing Colbert?
No, I wish.
I haven't done Seth Myers.
I'd love to do Seth Myers.
But, no, I think just those two.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, cool.
Well, I wish I was going to New York.
Come, girl.
They've, I'm supposed to do it for, I'm in Zootopia, too, as a beaver.
Wait, we're supposed to reveal that so are we.
Yeah, it's coming out soon.
As of this airing, the premiere's in like two days.
Yes. Are you going to go?
I'm trying to.
We're trying to get me off work.
We got to go.
You got to go.
I don't know if I'm going to be back from Toronto yet.
Oh, God.
Oh, girl.
Don't.
Don't, girl.
Isn't there fun, though, the handsome pots in Zootopia, too?
We're in a prison cell.
The three of us.
No, you and me and you're my cellmate and you're bouncing me off the wall and I'm a gerbil.
Wait, don't give away the things.
Yeah, I didn't know it was you.
Now nobody's going to go see the movie.
Yes, what a spoiler.
But I've never done a, I've never been in a movie.
And I'm a beaver.
You're a beaver, I'm a gerbil and you're a bear, I think?
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
TIG!
I go in and I'm doing my lines and then I said, so who's playing my cellmate?
And they went, uh, Tick Notaro actually.
I was like, you're joking.
And you know what is so insane is I recorded that in Boulder right before I went over to Andrea's house.
Oh, my God.
So when you're listening to my character, which is pure insanity, like, I lost my voice trying to do this.
Wow.
Then I went over to be with Andrea in Andrea's final days.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Our job is so weird.
It's so bizarre.
Our job is weird.
Well, comes out Thanksgiving and weekend.
I can't wait.
It's soon.
Yes, it is.
be the first time I've ever been in a movie that's in the first time I've ever been
did I say that weird well not for where you're come from but nobody in North Carolina
or Mississippi I mean listen we say things weird what would you say first time I ever been
yeah but first time I'm ever been this is our dynamic makes more sense since there's two
ease yeah first time I ever be mean should we get to our question today's question asker
is, first and foremost, one of my dearest, dearest friends. I love her. She's an actor,
comedian, and one half of the comedy duo Garfunkel and Oates. She has appeared in movies like
Don't Think Twice and The Little Hours and TV shows like The Big Bang Theory and Raising Hope.
Kate McCoochee is asking today's question.
You know I love Kate's last name because it talks about Makuchi.
Let's get to the question.
Hi, handsome.
Hi, TIG.
Hi, Fortune.
Hi, May.
I love you.
It's me.
Kate Makuchi.
Or as Fortune likes to call me, Kate McCooch, my coochie, Kate McCutier, Kate Makooter.
Whatever you want to call me.
Yeah, yeah.
I love all the names.
Anyway, I have a question for you.
So here it goes.
What is a lie that you were told when you were a kid that you believed for way too long?
So it might have been something that, you know, someone told you or something you saw in a movie or a TV show that you believed to be true for like way, way, way, way, way too long.
And then maybe when you were older, you were like, what?
That's not real.
I'm a very gullible person.
So I have a bunch of these.
But I wondered what years are.
All right. Thanks, everybody. I'll be back later.
Oh, thanks, Kate, McCut.
Thank you.
Macooter.
McCuder. McCuter, McCuter, McCuter, Cooch. I mean, Kaye has the best last name ever.
You have to admit that. I mean, Kate's a great name, too.
What's wrong with her first name? Why are you being so hard on her first name?
Well, I have to just, I mean, right away, what I was told as a child that I believe way too long, I think, is,
you'll be safe we'll take care of you everything's going to be okay don't worry got this
I held on to that I held on to it my whole childhood is waiting yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a good one
did she were you told you real I don't think they even tried to tell me that I would say the first thing that
comes to mind is um i remember i i was told at christmas time that there were elves jumping from
branch to branch and i was always i was like where and they'd be like oh you just missed it just
oh my god i just missed it and i i i was just desperate to see these elves that were jumping around
my christmas tree and you just accepted as fact because why would someone
Yeah. Say that.
Well, Santa was coming, too.
Yeah, exactly.
I believe there were.
I did believe the Santa lie for a long time.
Also, I wasn't allowed to.
I don't know if you were, when you put snacks out for Santa, did you also, it was for the reindeer, too.
Uh-huh.
And so what, Santa, because they leave like little crumbs.
Cookies and milk for Santa, a carrot for the reindeer.
Right.
But you see that the reindeer has eaten.
Like there's little.
coming in? Right. So there's a little nibble. So what the reindeer are also in your house or Santa brings it out, feeds the reindeer and then puts the carrot back. But there's a, I mean, once you start picking it apart, there's a lot of logic. I know. I think you just, the carrot, what do you mean? He comes down a chimney. I think the parents need to just start taking the carrot fully away. Yeah, I think you're right. Why the parents when it's Santa doing it. Okay. Okay. I was never allowed to.
believe in Santa. My mom was so adamant that they weren't going to lie to us. And so
I was like, too. Oh, if you have kids, turn the podcast off. Turn the podcast off. Three minutes ago.
Three minutes ago. Spoiler alert. But they, she said there is no Santa Claus, but it's really fun to
pretend. So I would still like leave out snacks and get, but I did, I was pretty depressed. I would tell,
I would tell kids that there was no Santa and stuff. Oh, you were that one. I was always the one that had to let everybody
else know yeah yeah yeah but there was one there's one lie and then i've talked about this in a stand-up
special i don't know if i've talked about it on the pod but that i still to this day don't know if it's true
and it it drove me very nuts that my parents would always tell us and they swore it was true that
in the 90s that they were driving through the forest and they drove underneath a moose yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they swore that the car clean passed through under its legs.
Yeah, yeah.
And my brother and I would become, like, incensed and irate.
We'd be like, what I'm talking about?
Yeah, and then did all the math, Googled the height of a Toyota Tersell,
Googled the largest ever recorded moose to see.
Even a big one that still doesn't seem possible.
This is the infuriating thing is it could just have happened.
Like, if it happened to be the biggest ever moose ever recorded.
It could just have happened.
And they stand by to this day.
They're like, yep.
And they're both in on it.
They have a twinkle in their eye when they say it, but they won't let it go.
So I still don't know.
Oh, you know what?
My mother also told me I got stuck in the toilet that I fell in the toilet and she had to call the plumber to get me out.
And I don't think that's true.
She said when you were a baby?
Yeah, I think it was some like little joke that she kept going where I'd be like,
What do you mean I get stuck in the toilet, you know?
And then when I was older, I was like, you can get stuck in the toilet.
You should write a children's book about a babies who's stuck in the toilet and then gets flushed down and makes friends.
Yeah.
I apparently, I'll do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thomas, put that on my list.
Toilet baby.
Also, maybe to alert parents if their kids are listening, also they should have shut it off when you were talking about.
Oh, the BDS.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But anyway, what were you going to say, fortune?
Apparently I held on to my passy, pacifier.
Aw, say again.
My passy for many years, like long pass when you were supposed to.
But it was starting to create a little gap in my front teeth.
So the dentist told my mom that they had to get rid of this pacifier,
that I was way too old to be sucking on this thing.
and so one day it just disappeared
and my mom always told me for years
that it just like got lost
or something like that
and they didn't know what happened to it
and then finally she admitted when I was older
that she threw it out like
through it out the window
of the window she littered
she littered
was driving after the dinner
just tossed it out the window
Chintra Marie
didn't waste time
she was like yeah that was a big one
and then this one's kind of embarrassing
my mom
would call
my mom
I don't know this this isn't a lie
it's just more of like a random
non-truth
thing that she named something
because she was too embarrassed to just
use the anatomy terms
she would call
the area
cover your children's area
the problem area
she called it a
Boom, boom.
Yeah.
Like on anybody's problem?
Yeah.
Well, for girls, it was called your boom boom.
So she'd go, did you wash your boom boom?
Yeah, yeah.
And so.
Why was she so fixated on your boom boom?
Well, no, just like, you know, sometimes you, instead of just saying vagina, she would say boom, boom.
Or she would say, boom.
And I got way too old saying this.
Yeah.
And I was over at her friend's house.
And whose dad's a doctor, so they've always used, you know, just the regular anatomy terms.
Yeah.
And I said, I don't know why I said something about, and I said boom, boom.
And they, it's like a record scratch.
And they all turned and they were like, what?
Oh, my God.
And I was like, you're boo-boom.
Oh, my God.
Are you talking about a vagina?
And I was like, huh?
Is that what they're going?
I honestly don't know if I even had heard the word from China before.
I was like, huh?
Boom, boom.
And they all died laughing.
And I was just like, I'm picturing you storming into your home that night.
I know, my mom, that is not going to boom, boom.
And so if you ever got into BDSS.
BDSM, would you, could somebody use like a word, like, a word?
like that boom boom that does not very sexy you go i'm going to bang your boom boom
yeah no nobody wants to hear that word it's so stupid i'm like how did you come up with that
and how did she come up with it i don't know i should ask her i mean it's you know i think it was
just like a light and fun yeah people people say all kinds of things i get it i get it but where did boom boom
i will have to like why not boom i'll have to follow him with ginger about this it sounds like it's
from like a, like, who's that
Mr. Lava, love
like, oh, like a Shaggy?
Yeah, it sounds like it's a Shaggy.
Like I, I do it in your boom, boom.
Boom. I love Shaggy.
I love Shaggy.
Love Shaggy. You don't?
Yeah, but like, no
Diane Keaton. Oh.
Oh, but you love Shaggy.
But those aren't hand in hand.
Okay, sure.
Valerie Bertonelli.
Yeah.
But that was.
Shaggy.
That burst my bubble big time
When my friends were just like
The fuck
They didn't say that
How your brain plants little flags
On all the embarrassing moments
Yeah
I love an embarrassing story
Oh man
Those are good people love them
People are
Our listeners are
Salivating to hear your embarrassing story
I don't have a ton of embarrassing stories
Just because I didn't get embarrassed often
You had a thick skin
one for sure what do you suppose made you somebody that's like yeah i don't care that doesn't embarrass me
i don't know how that happened is it because you were going for laughs so you were yeah yeah like i
saw the comedy and stuff early on yeah that i was just like worth it and have you since shared with
people you've dated or whatever that uh about your boom boom no this is honestly the first time it's
come out i've ever mentioned this i was hanging out with well with parvety and
Amma who's seven now and we went to see a soccer game where it's like a little nice little
reunion and we were playing professional soccer yeah Angel City yeah yeah which I've never been
oh it was fun game it was super fun wait why did you say been this time yeah I've never been this time yeah
I've never been oh I don't want to change you being who you are I know I just maybe I go I use
both I've never because I say word I with this thick accent I say words wrong or not wrong but different
No, wrong.
They're wrong.
So we were playing truth or dare in the, and so, so Amma dared me to stand up and yell like, well, first she said stand up, take your shirt off and yell, and yell like, Angel City are my team forever.
And so I didn't take my shirt off, but I did the dare.
And I got up and yelled and I did like a dance.
And it was so, she was so shocked that I'd done it.
And because everyone turned around.
And then we were daring each other to do embarrassing things.
And I was like, God, because when the embarrassment starts to creep in around middle school, right?
Like, before that, you're kind of, I don't know.
And I was like, God, I hope, yeah, I hope she never gets embarrassed by anything.
Yeah.
Did Max and Finn get embarrassed?
Embarrassed by you?
Like, are they like, God, don't see that.
No, more so, like, Max is really into jokes, writing jokes and stuff.
And if I, I mean, he hits it almost every time.
where I'm like, God, that's a really funny concept or really observant of you.
But if he or Finn do something that it's not funny, I'll go,
don't tell anyone you're related to me, guys.
Don't throw my name around with that one, okay.
But yeah, no, they're really, really funny.
Well, should we hear?
Oh, yeah, let's hear Kate's answer.
Let's do it.
McCoochee, what you got?
okay so my answer is you know in peevee's big adventure when peewee picks up the fugitive mickey and he still got um handcuffs tied to his hand and and peevee's like so what did you do and and mickey's like oh you know those tags on the mattresses that say do not remove under penalty of law well i i took one off of a mattress and so you know i saw i saw this movie when i was maybe six or seven and um i for a
very long time most of my childhood and into my adulthood thought that taking a tag off of a
mattress was like a really bad crime and it wasn't until i was like way grown up probably like 30
i rewatch peevee's make adventure and i was watching it and i thought oh my god that's just a joke
that's a joke i i have been thinking that it's bad to do this my whole life and it was just a yeah
You know. So yeah, I guess it's okay. You're not going to go to jail if you take a tag off a mattress. And that's just something I learned way too late in life. All right, everyone. Have a great day. Thanks so much for having me. I can't wait to hear this. Okay, I guess, well, now I'm just talking. Oh, also, you know that time that Tig was talking about where we were out in Australia and the kangaroo, we were hanging out with the kangaroos.
And the one part that I think TIG didn't explain is that a kangaroo charged at her.
Like it wasn't just like we were hanging out with these big kangaroos.
One was like out of the corner of my, I heard it first.
I heard the kangaroo.
Broom, broom, brum, brum, brum, brum.
And then I looked and it was like the biggest kangaroo just charging toward TIG.
Oh my gosh.
And all I could get out of my mouth was a tiny, odd chase tink.
And thankfully, the kangaroo just kept going and didn't bother us or hurt us in any way.
But that's just a little tidbit.
All right.
I love you.
Bye-bye.
Love you, Kate.
That's a little tigbit.
A little tig bit.
I wish she had said, McCoochie out.
I can't believe you left out that you were charged.
I forgot.
You know, my memory is very spotty.
Yeah.
You knew there were kangaroos.
We have it on video somewhere because you do, you just hear like,
And then you hear Kate, oh, cheese, tick.
Oh, cheese, cheese.
Classic Kate McCoochee.
And of course, Kate's biggest fear, like, it's just right on the nose with Kate McCoochee that she was scared that that would be like the biggest crime to take that tag off of a pillow, you know.
That's so funny to hold on to.
And the weird thing about Kate is she is very, she is very, she.
She's so kind.
She's so pure and wonderful and all of these things.
So talented.
But man, can she go blue?
Really?
Because I'd love to hear it because her voice is so innocent.
Have you not heard Garfunkel and Oates?
No.
I need to hear.
May Martin.
Okay, great.
Because May is a fun song.
Oh, great.
Come on.
I mean, yeah, it's just like she and Ricky singing the bluest crazy.
the funniest stuff.
Oh, that's great.
And also her solo stuff.
And she's such a great painter.
Yeah, incredible artist.
Yeah, incredible artist.
Yeah, incredible friend.
Just a wonderful person.
And a great last name.
Mm-hmm.
Back to that.
Back to the old.
Well, what a fun episode.
I had a grand old time.
So great seeing you guys.
So great seeing you guys.
We have to do this again sooner.
We have got to do this again.
We will.
We should quit our other jobs.
And just do this.
I would just live in the studio.
Yeah.
I'd be happy to do that.
They got cold brew here.
Yeah.
That's all you need.
Well, for now, though, I do have to go on tour.
Okay.
So I will be...
You're free to go.
Sorry to bother you.
I will be in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Thanksgiving weekend.
Then San Jose in Fresno, California,
St. Petersburg in Orlando, Florida, Vancouver,
and then New Year's Eve in Seattle.
Come celebrate the new year with me.
And then Zootopia, too.
See all three of us.
Or hear all three of us.
Thanksgiving weekend as well.
Oh, my God.
I can't wait.
And please make a note, November 14th.
This week, come see me in the good light.
The documentary I produced about Andrea Gibson and Megan Fowley is so beautiful.
And it's out on Apple TV, November 14th, November 14th, November 14th.
friends everyone. Also go to tignotaro.com for all my show information. And I'm going on tour and at the end of
February doing 35 cities in North America. Please come and hang out with me. And then I'm in LA at Largo this
month. So check that out. And check out Wayward on Netflix. I'm at Largo too. Oh my gosh.
Listen, it's my regular spot. You guys. Until next time, keep it handsome.
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feamster.
The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett.
Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com, and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.
What a podcast.
What a podcast.
That was a hate gum podcast.
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What's going on?
It's Lamarne Morris.
And Hannah Simone.
And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast now on HeadGum.
Now, here's the thing.
Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl.
And we really get into it.
Like, we get up in there.
We get up in there.
You know, we reminisce about our times on set.
We share behind the scenes tea.
We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years.
We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.
That's not true.
We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest
stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.
We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars
like Zoe Day Chanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad. We talk to
your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your
podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.
