Handsome - Kristen Kish asks about questionable food opinions

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Kristen Kish of Traitors and Master Chef asks Handsome a delicious question about bad food opinions on a gourmet-quality Handsome pod! Plus Fortune's throwback hairdo, Mae's house nearly burning down, and an alarmingly hilarious end to the episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTube and HuluThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Chiding with friends on the handsome pot. Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. It's Tignotaro sitting here with my co-host. May Martin. And Fortune Feemster. Handsome. We're handsome.

We are handsome. And we talk like this. I just took a shower. Do you like my slick back hair? Like I'm in the outsiders. Yes, except you're inside. Pony bully. I love it.

And then I saw it. I mean, Tigg, you won't have seen this because you're not on Instagram, but I saw that Fortune Post. a picture of her with straight hair. And it is something to see. It is something to behold. Well, can you pull it up, Thomas, and give me a peeksy? And why, is it recent that you had straight hair?

Or is this? It was for Keenan Thompson sitcom. So this would have been like 2020, 20. And that's how your hair was on the show, which straightened it. So it was like, should I bring this back? Should I do this again? It was like a, they straightened it. And it was kind of a mullah.

And it was every time you were on the show. Every time. There I am. Wait. There it was. There it is. Right there. Oh, that is good.

Look at it. It is good. It was a lot on my hair, though. It doesn't like to be straightened every, like, every day. It takes a lot of heat. It takes a lot of heat. And these curls are like screaming at me. Yes.

But they thought it was hilarious. I loved it. Who the listener or your followers? No, the show. That's why they, it was their idea, not mine to have that hair. And what brought it up for you to put it on your Instagram? Every now and then I'll do like a throwback to a show that I did. Yeah.

And that hair style made me laugh. So just wanted to give it a little moment. And your followers were delighted. I was delighted. May was delighted, which is all I long for. And, you know, some people are like, that's hilarious. Bring it back. Other people are like, don't ever do that again.

That's terrible. And then there's probably, there's a contingent of people who have that hair that are like, great, that looks great. Yeah. Yeah. I see myself in you. Yeah. That's for sure how that person talks. Yes, May.

Well, you're not going to believe this. I just woke up. I slept from 11 p.m. until noon today. You're a terrible cowboy. I have not been able to do that in like years. And normally I can't. Like I just wake up. But someone, I was deep out because there was a lot of drama at Casa Cowboy.

I was going to say, is there emotional stuff? I'm so emotional, baby. That's like my theme song. What happened? Well, I mean, it's not actually funny, but I, so I, I was having a massage. I get out. I got a text from my friend Matt. Oh, no.

Oh, no, not a horny massage. Oh, not a horny massage. Okay. A regular, a regular rejuvenation. Exactly. Very platonic massage. And I get out and I have a text from my roommate, Matt, who lives here, and he's like, Hey, buddy, are you home?

And I'm walking up to my house and there's a fire truck. Your house fell off. I thought he was going to say the guest house fell off the mountain. Hey buddy, no, but the brush beside my house like had lit I mean had gone up and it almost reached my wooden gate

and this is the second time it happened like a week ago but a smaller version I guess there's unhoused people that live in the brush there and they were cooking something. Yeah. But this time it really three palm trees went up then the firemen came to the firemen had to go to hospital.

One smoke inhalation and one got like an allergic reaction to a plant. Anyway, it was wild. What the heck? And before the fire truck got there, like we were just taking little buckets of water. Well, they left and then it was still on fire. We didn't know what to do. We called them back. It was so crazy and so close to my house.

Like, I can't even tell you. You were able to reach where the flames were? with your little buckets of water? Yeah, it's right. It's right there. I don't even understand how an unhoused person could even spend any time back there. On that cliff. There's a little, it's like three feet probably at one section in the brush.

But now it's all burned out. And the crazy thing is so I was, after the fire trucks left, I was like, dumping water because it was still smoking. Yeah. Because they had got it out. And then it kind of came back. That's what happened with the Palisades fire. it's like laid dormant for a week.

Yeah, for a week. Oh, fuck. Okay. But then my neighbor came out and he was like, yeah, it's an arsonist. I saw a guy with a lighter come and do it. And he said it's the third time recently and he said, I saw this guy. May. I know.

I'm really freaked out. And I went, I called them back and I was like, the neighbor saw a guy lighting it. And they were like, well, if you see him again, call the police. But yeah, pretty freaky. scary that is terrifying that's how these things get out of hand i know so i've ordered like a big hose so your body was like there's an arsonist behind the house i'm going to sleep yeah my body was like well goodbye yeah yeah i don't know be here for this i didn't come here for this wake me up when this nightmare's over seriously yeah so that is really scary yeah i know there's something really unsettling about an arsonist

it's well and it's very dry in californian and it's very dry in californian and California can just go up and smoke at any second. I know. I know it's so dry. I don't understand that crazy-ass compulsion to do that. Well, I heard it. There's a sexual component. There's a sexual component.

The fires have been started about arsonous. Apparently a big part of it is like a fire fetish, like wanting to. And then when we were putting the buckets on it and I kept thinking, is there someone like watching us somewhere, like watching the reaction and enjoying it? So that was really creepy. So I'm not really sure what to do. because can you like coat your house in some anti-fire spell? I mean, you don't know.

Just from watching all the fire footage for the two weeks last, when was that, two years ago? Yeah. Some people buy one of those, there's like a sprinkler on a stand that like they put on their roofs and stuff. I mean, but that's like, I bought four fire blankets, two extinguishers and one big hose. Did you use the fire blankets for your nap? Yeah, then I got real cozy. They were so cozy. Yeah, it seems like something, I mean, I would join forces with your assistant

and do a massive Google up about what the hell to do. Because I would, that's really concerning. And so Matt was home when that happened? Thank God, yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so he was freaking out. His text was very calm, though.

Hey, buddy. You coming on a time soon. Well, you're fire on the hill. Are you also on fire? But I really thought, when I saw the fireman, I thought, they are, you know, I have like a bit of a distrust of police, like a healthy distrust. I was like, firemen, fuck, they, they're just doing it to do it. They're headed towards danger to save others. All the time.

That's why Tig has a fireman fantasy fetish. I am hot for firemen. Well, the one that had the smoke inhalation, he took off his shirt at one point, and I got to say, he was ripped. I was like, you yell at him. Do you give massages? And how is his face?

Was it? Moustache? Rugged and handsome. No, to be honest, he looked about 21. He was like baby face, hairless, ripped chest. Not to objectify him, but. But he wasn't, he wasn't handsome at all. Oh, he was deeply handsome.

Oh, he was. Okay. Kind. Yeah. Deeply handsome fella. Yeah. Anyway, so that's my drama, but I slept really well, which is, it's weird that that's the night that I slept so.

Very odd. Very odd. You just bought you a house right in the woods and on a, on a ledge. I know. We thought for sure you had purchased a safe home. I for the record, told May, don't do it. I remember. You did.

Let the record show. Well, I'm hoping now I can tell the city. I'm pressuring them a lot. I think I can say it's a fire hazard. Because if that had been covered by concrete, that wouldn't have happened. You know, but it's all just dry brush. Yeah. Yeah, weird.

Weird times. L.A. is weird. Hello, city. It's May Martin. Do you like L.A. May? I love it, but I don't. Yeah, I do. I love it.

But it has a little danger to it. You know me. And so do you prefer it over London or Toronto or? I loved London, but I think 12 years, I think I had done my time there. I just one morning was like, is it all the rain? Yeah, and being there during COVID, and it was like the sky was so low and gray. And I just was dumb. But, but L.A. is pretty wild.

I mean, the constant, like, well, the big one's coming. Who lives in a city where people say that? That's crazy. They've been saying it for 23 years, which means it's really a coming. It is really a coming. Trying to think when the last big, big one, was it Northridge? I think so. I can't remember what year that one was.

I believe it was northridge. Oh, 94. Then, ooh. I think in my future, in my future, I'm going to go out to the woods one day and just live like a hermit. Yeah, just make sure they're not on fire. I know. throw. Do you have that fire app? Yes. Oh yeah, you should get watched duty. And it's in your backyard. Yeah, I'm looking at it. You see like the biggest thing. You're like, oh. It's right behind me.

Yeah. I, you know, I have trouble sleeping. It's getting better though. And I was in Toronto working, I think it was on season one. And I don't know, I was not on fire. My apartment building was not on fire. but for some reason, I guess it was just pure exhaustion, I slept for over 12 hours. And I woke up so confused. I was like, what? It made absolutely no sense because at that point, like two years ago, I was going on like three hours on average.

And now I'm up to like five to seven on average, which I would say five and a half to seven. Which is so much better. I can work with that. Betty White used to sleep for four hours a night. Yeah. Really? So if she could do it, TIG can do it. And I'm getting better all the time.

Like I'm really working on it. And it's showing some results. Because at night you're like lighting a candle. No, I don't want the place to burn down. Getting yourself in the mood. Yeah. Well, I think it's partly the first time in a long time that I knew that I didn't have anything until 1.15 the next day. So my brain let me, you know? Right. How interesting. I don't know. But I feel like a human being again. But also maybe the tiredness takes the edge off the anxiety because you're just a little out of it. So now I'm lucid, I'm present and I'm anxious as well. May is back

I'm back fully full of energy to be anxious ready for the Canada Qatar World Cup game oh when's that Thomas are you pumped

tonight yeah it's in a couple hours 3 o'clock yeah whoa that's right when my show's starting yeah where are you I was going to ask

I don't know this curtain I am this curtain is unknown I'm in Portland Maine right now Near my brother. Oh, yeah? Yeah, my brother lives right outside of Portland Maine. Yeah, I'm doing two shows here, two nights, which is rare to be in a city for two nights.

Yeah. It's also gay pride weekend, so lots of gay flags around here. Oh, nice. I'm going to eat a lobster roll. Pretty stoked about that. You got to. I'm going to. I almost said something really dirty.

What? Did you almost? I'm taking my ear, buds. I always said I would go down on a lobster roll. Yeah, just go to town on that thing. Thomas, can you wave when it's safe for me to put my ear bloods? I think because TIG gets so worked up about it. Fortune Marie, whatever you said.

It makes me want to do it more because I'm not, I don't really talk dirty that much, except for I do use Zord Cooter a lot. Yeah. Do you use that romantically? No. I can't wait to touch your cooter. You got the most beautiful cooter in the world. You got that nice cooter. No. That word cannot be romantic. No, I really can. I don't know with you, Fortune Marie. I honestly don't.

It's true, though. I sometimes find myself, like, it is enjoyable to scandalize you guys sometimes. Yeah. You do a good job of it as well, my friend. I've clutched my pearls several times with some of your stories. I haven't done it once. You haven't scandalized us? No. Yeah, you're right. I think you could.

You need to step up your game. No, no. I am the senior citizen of the group. I have to set a good example. That's true. That's true. Yeah. I got to get my little duckies in a row and say, come on, little quack quacks.

Yeah. This way. Let's keep it in line. Let's keep it in line. I'm the middle. I'm the middle child over here. Yeah, you are. Actually, I wonder if we do fall into those roles.

Those tropes. Yeah. TIG has oldest sibling energy with the pod for sure. Yeah. Why? Because I get my little quack quacks in line. Yes. That's what I call Max and Finn.

And how cute is that? It's really cute. Come on, my little quack quacks. Especially when we're crossing the street on a crosswalk, that's where it really comes from. It's like, come on little quack quacks. Let's get across that street. Keep it moving. Keep it moving, quack, quacks.

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when someone's a street crossing guard. Is that what they're called? Yeah. And my favorite is when it's a street that doesn't really need. Like it has a stop blade and you know, and they people take such pride in that role. And I love to say, good morning, thank you.

And then. Yeah, Toronto has a lot of those and I would chat with those cross crossing guards. Really? Toronto has a famous one on Queen Street. She likes to dance. Oh, really? Yeah.

She's really a treasure. I'm sorry. You like small talk with a stranger? Yeah, we would chat as they were walking me across the street. Wow. I mean, sometimes I don't want to brag. They were familiar with my work. Yeah, with your strained hair.

So we were chatting about that, you know what I mean? I went to Banff. I just got back from Banff. Oh, yeah. What a great picture. Bampf would a great word. great word. I know. It's so good. I've never been there. It's like, BAMF is like that kind of word where you're, you start saying it and then all of a sudden your mouth throws all letters at the end. BAMP. BAMF. Yeah. Yeah. It's so beautiful there. Have you been there, TIG? I have not. It's like Disney mountains, rivers. Yeah. My friends, um, Shannon and Jason, they went there, um, they went skiing, I believe for their honeymoon. It's very romantic.

They split up too. Oh, great. Yeah. But they're friends. Everything's fine. Oh, good. That was our follow-up question. Yeah.

Good. I was staying in this hotel that's like a castle and it's haunted. And first of all, I'd be going in the elevator and I'd hear, hi, handsome. Like, it happened like three times. And it was so nice. Wow. Just handsome listeners. And then, so I met this guy.

We had a mutual friend or something and he was like, hey, yeah, he said, I know Brett Goldstein. And he said, last night I went to a seance in the hotel. And he was, I mean, the hair on his arm he showed me was standing up, just talking about it. He said, I was holding this like divining rod that they gave me. And it was spinning. He showed me videos.

He was freaking out. And I was like, wow, I wish I'd been there. A few hours later, I start talking to this guy. says, yeah, I held a seance here for people last night. And I was like, oh my God, I heard. And he goes, we tricked them. We pranked them so much. I was like, you're kidding.

The guy was convinced. Yeah, he said we had the lights going. We had these fake like sound recording things. I could not believe it. And do you think you would have fallen for it? You would have fallen for it, May. Of course. I would have been telling that anecdote on the pod.

You'd have been like, ghost are real. I'm 110% sure. And what about you? How would you have handled that fortune? I would be like open to it and a little suspicious. Yeah. It sounded like it was really well produced. And the hotel is famously haunted and it sounded like they scared the shit out of these people. They went to all stairwells and were like, I think they made it colder in one stairwell and things like that. Like they really went to down.

I think I would have been open about 25% and suspicious. 75. Yeah. Because I'm always, I'm interested in let's, let's see something. I absolutely. I'm in, there's usually one cheesy moment where you're like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Like they go a little too far. Yeah. Like they're, they're killing it and then suddenly it takes a turn and you're like, well, I know that's not real. Yeah. I mean, the seance was hosted by a former Playboy Bunny who has a podcast on paranormal activity. So that would have been my first. red flag, I think. Yeah, ghost.

Titties. Oh, my. I forgot about. Yeah, ghost. Yeah. I have people yell yeah, ghost during my show because I make a ghost reference at one point. And I've had several people go, yeah, ghost. I mean, I would remember it if somebody yelled yeah, ghost.

Right. But just in my day to day, I wouldn't. I pulled that up. Yeah, ghost titty situation. No way, you weren't in it. I wasn't in it. But did you. Do you ever have a thing, guys, where you're on stage and then someone yells like a handsome reference and then you have to explain it to the rest of the audience? You're like, I do a podcast. Who is totally familiar with it?

I find it's a mix sometimes. Yeah, no, for sure. I leave it be. I'll let it float out there. Yeah, that's smart. Or I'll say it back to them and just not make a reference to it. Right. And just move on. Like when they go, yeah, ghost. I can go either way. Oh, yeah, ghosts. I go, yeah, ghost. And just keep going. There's some people in the audience where it's like, you're a little too. eager to talk, you know, and so you have to kind of, I do. I feel like I have to steer clear else they'll, you know. Yeah, get to. Yeah, get a little too. I always go, I always forget, like you said, that most of the audience might be familiar. So someone goes like, May, Marie or something. And then I spend 10 minutes going, oh, I have a podcast and Tignotaro is also on a fortune, someone says things that TIG has to say. Thomas is a producer. And we're now on Hulu, but yeah, you can stream us a day earlier.

And so, of course, this is also a Mayfact. And, yeah. So, Tigg, have you been home quite a bit? Are you settled? I got home like four days ago, maybe. And I guess the boys are on summer break, right? I got home three days ago. Yes.

And they're doing sports camps. Like, they each did a week. Yeah. You know, like Max did. Yeah, Max did a week of volleyball camp. And, um, yes. Oh my gosh. So cute.

Do they lower the net for these kids? Well, here's the cute part. Don't tell me there's no net. No, there is. But, um, he was so excited for volleyball camp and he had never played in his life. but it was something he was convinced was his new passion. And he shows up, Stephanie drops him off. And, well, the rest of the class was 12, 13-year-old girls

with ice coffee and hair down to their waist and wearing Ugg boots. What? Ice coffee. That's quite a departure. And, yeah, Stephanie was like, how is, how is, because she was like, oh, my God, oh, my God. as these like young girls are showing up.

Because is it one of those like age, age nine to 13 and then it just happened to be. Yeah. Yeah. It was all girls. Well, I guess there's one little boy that was his age. But she was like, and you'd have to know him. But she was like, how was volleyball camp? And he goes, well, I ate my lunch in a hole I dug.

Oh, my God. So cute. I hate my lunch and a whole eye dog. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. So, yeah. And then Matt Finn has been going to baseball camp this week.

I mean, I'm sorry, basketball. And yeah. But it's good. That's really good. I love what the things kids say. I know. That like all of this interest in volleyball and then it's like, well, I ate my lunch in a hole I dug. Okay.

Good. It went well. Oh, my God. I'm picturing him digging that hole and then settling in there. Yeah. Do you think that the two of them, like, because you and Stephanie are both funny, but you have a different sense of humor in certain ways. So that your boys pick up on one of y'all's styles yet?

Yeah. I mean, Max is very dry. Okay. He's very dry. But intentionally, like, he's trying to be funny, but he's dry. Oh, okay. And he is funny. Yeah.

And he wasn't trying to be funny about his lunch that he ate in the hole that he dug. That's just his personality. But yeah, he's very, very dry. And I talk on stage about how he was born 60 years old. Yeah. You know, just like when he talks and he's not being funny, he's just, his delivery is just so, it's accidentally funny, you know. And then when he's being funny, the delivery is really there. That's really good.

Like today, when I was walking through the dining room, there's this box with an award I had gotten for Star Trek. And he was like, hey, Mer, or no, was it him? Oh, yeah, yeah, Max. He goes, hey, Mayor, what's in this box? And I said, oh, just an award I won. And he goes, oh, yeah, no big deal. I just won an award. You know, like, you know, he gets it.

And he's just, yeah, just like making those kind of comments to me as I'm walking off heading upstairs to record. I'm like, you know, Max, it's no big deal. I'm just like a big star. I'm going to go record handsome. Just like everybody else. Yeah, just like everybody else. I'm just getting awards. That's so good.

Yeah. And then does Finn have a different sense of humor? Well, you know, he said something last night that Stephanie and I thought was so funny. He's kind of funny more accidentally because he's such a little character. But it was such a funny observation. I said something like, oh, I forgot I have a show tonight. And then he goes, that's so funny. He was like, you're saying, oh, I forgot I have a show tonight.

And then there's people that like bought tickets and they're excited to go to your show. And you're like, oh, I forgot I have a show tonight. You know? So like the thought that he like, He imagined both sides of that. And it's not that I wasn't looking forward to my show. I mean, obviously, I forgot. But doesn't that happen during your day?

You'll be like, oh, God, I have a show tonight. For sure. And so he was teasing me about how casual I was about that. And he was like, there's people that, like, bought tickets and they're excited to see you. And you're like, oh, I forgot. I have a show tonight. That's funny. Yeah, that was really funny.

Yeah, he's definitely just an amusing. character for sure because he's very type a very on it very organized very everything and we just marvel over his his uh organization yeah and like if somebody's like what's your favorite meal and he's like oh kale and water oh my god you're joking kale and water care sir i'm not oh my god we must be cooking that kale nice link it's raw no sir it is raw raw yeah it is raw I mean it's massaged it's softened oh thank God thank you thank you oh boy and it looks like mr. Thomas has a little visitor yeah who is this beautiful angel yeah this is a little pup we're fostering her name is honey oh honey oh my god I didn't know you had a dog look at her oh my god yeah he had yeah I mean

you have a dog. Yeah. And then he, one of his dogs passed recently. Oh, no. That's so nice that you're fostering. Yeah. And so would it help that the pup is on the podcast and maybe somebody can be like, I'd like him? I think we're going to adopt her.

I was about to say that. I was like, this dog seems really sweet, well behaved. This dog might not be going anywhere. I think we might have to keep her. She is a foster face. Honey is settling in. Thomas, if you ever need a dog sitter, I want to get into fostering and I want to see what it's like to have a dog around.

I would love. Yeah, this place is called Wags and Walks. Oh, yeah. Oh, I've heard of that place. I miss my doggy so much. Oh, man. But that's fine. I'm glad you have a dog.

How old is honey? Two. Oh, that's a good age. Yeah, I was thinking. Like if I was going to get a dog, I could get an older dog because I'm away, you know, and I'd be new to it. I don't think I could handle a puppy. The puppy stage is tough? Yeah.

And is honey beyond that? Is too beyond the puppy stage? She's like got some puppy energy, but she's not like biting and stuff like that. God, she's so cute. Look at her. What kind of dog is that? A cat. A terrier mix.

A what? She's a terrier mix. A terrier, she is a real dog. Like, she is classic dog. Yeah, she does. I can see the terrier, but I see something else in there. Oh, wow. Is it May?

Yeah, the face does not match the terrier, but the body does. Well, what a sweet little pup. I would love to see that dog. That was a little treat for all of our lesbian watchers. Maybe you should start with a goldfish, May. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I think maybe you're right. I have a lot of love to get a friend to share a dog with. Yeah. Yeah, I could do, I'd love to do that. I know you got a lot of love to share. I mean,

give or whatever. So much. Yeah, I saw some elk and Banff, big, beautiful elk. Do you give them hugs and kisses? No, they can charge you. They're very aggressive. But then I went on a bike ride. You can rent a bike and I went way deep into the woods like, oh no, it was just me in the forest and I could hear like my heart beating. Oh, cowboy. But are there a lot of bears around there? Well, I see a pile of poo, like fresh bear poo in the middle of the road. I was convinced it was bear poo.

And so I pick up the pace on my bike and I get back. And then they said, oh, yeah, there's, someone saw a bear today just around there. He's called the boss. He's 700 pounds and he had a tracker on him, but he ate it off. I was like, why didn't the hotel tell me that? 700 pound bear. That's a cow. Yeah.

When I rented the bike, no one warned me. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think it's just common knowledge that that area is full of bears. Don't make me feel bad about themselves. Okay. I'm sorry. Going deep. I think it's famously known for bears, but whatever.

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Just leave them be. Leave them be. Should we get to our question? Hey, bear. Let's do it. Question asker. Hey, bear. Well, you guys, this is a treat.

Literally. Today's question asker is a chef and TV host who won season 10 of Top Chef and went on to host this show herself. She's gone on to host other shows like Fast Foodies and Iron Chef Quest for an Iron Legend. Her memoir, Accidentally on Purpose, is a New York Times. bestseller, Kristen Kish is asking today's question. By the way, Kristen is a badass. I have done two shows with Kristen now. I did fast foodies where they take,

they would take your favorite fast food dishes and make it like chef, the chef version of it, which was like incredible. That's awesome. That's an actual like long running TV show or it was just like an episode. I don't think they do it anymore. It was right.

It was in COVID times. Okay. And her dish. I think Panned Express was one of my fast food choices. Of course. And they did like their version of it, which was like unbelievable. And then I recently did an episode of Celebrity Top Chef. Did you cook?

I was a judge with kids. But I was like, you know, I love food and I love like really like I'm foodie food. Yeah. And I was so pumped. I was like, oh my God, I get to be on Top Chef. I'm going to eat this incredible food. Like these chefs are like blowing. like blow my mind and then they were like you're going to be judging with kids and I was like

oh I'm going to be eating pizza and ice cream sundaes it was so fun but I did in fact eat pizza and ice cream sunda but Kristen's awesome she was also on traders and was a very smart player on there yeah I would lose I don't even know how to play traders I would lose so bad any game I'm like I don't get what's happening I just want to go go home. If I had to be the traitor, it would kill me. Uh-huh. Kill me. I feel like if someone looked you in the eye and said, Fortune, come on now.

I would be like, okay. Yeah. I would be the end of my career because it would show such a dark side of me. I would be. No, fortune wouldn't say yes. Fortune would be like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. You'd just be like, I don't want to be here. The food's terrible. I want to go home. You'd be like, now. Am I not supposed to say if I'm a traitor? Your interview would be like, they would interview you, you know,

where you like talk crap about people and you'd be like, who cares? What are we doing here? And also you wouldn't know who any of the people were. I don't even know who she is. Which one is she? Now wait, am I, was I, should I have said that I, that's exactly. I don't even know, again, don't know how the game works, but that I know I would be trying to understand because.

Stephanie called me today on our way home to ask me about these different options in redoing our house. And I was like, you know what? When you get home, can we sit down? Like, I can't even, I can't track any of this right now. Like we have to say, this is the option. Then this is the option. You need visuals. Or just like, I can't just take it all in quickly and go, oh, yeah, let's do that one thing.

You know. The traders have to choose someone to murder in the night, and I feel like you'd be choosing yourself. You'd be like, get me out of here. That's like as a kid, I told you, I'd write an F at the top of my test and just slide it on the desk and put my head down. I would just grade my own thing. Didn't I tell you that? I don't think so. That's so badass.

Oh, my God. Yeah. You're like, I'll save you the trouble. Yeah, here, it's an F. Good night. I'm out. All right. Let's hear the question. Yes. Kristen. Apologies.

Hello, handsome pod. It's me, Kristen Kish, your unofficial resident chef of your podcast. She's right. Whether you like it or not. Fortune and I go way back. So hello again, Tegan May. I look forward to meeting you in person one day. I am so honored and thrilled to be asked to ask you all a question. And my question is, what food opinion? instantly makes you distrust a person. I really think about it.

Oh, I thought I didn't have an answer, but I do. Oh, that was great. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm going to, this is breaking news. Oh, shit. That's my breaking news. That's really good song for you.

I am a vegan person. No. Okay. That's the breaking news. Oh, my God. We definitely did not know. Hear me out. I am.

And I think that when people have an opinion about it and about how I eat or what I eat. And like a really strong one. Yeah. Yeah. But like where they really think they know what it is or that, you know, you can't get enough protein and all of that kind of stuff. I'm like, oh, snooze fest. Yeah. You know.

It's like it's a red flag about a personality. that they would assume that you haven't done some research and that you don't know. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also like if you want to eat meat and dairy, you should just eat meat and dairy, but you can get protein from chickpeas and lentils and, you know, tofu. And maybe that doesn't sound good to you and that's fine. But people are convinced or they come in real heavy with the I can't get protein on that diet.

And it's just not true. Yeah, it's provably untrue. It's provably untrue. So that's when sometimes I'm like, nah, I think the fire alarm is going off in my hotel. Oh my gosh. What is with this episode? Fortune, get up and go see if anything is. I thought that was my house because of, oh my God, May.

Is this causing you graying? But wait, Fortune. Fortune. Should I have? No, yeah, go check out what's going to. on because you might hold on what floor are you on three okay you'll be fine poke your head out the door you guys chat amongst yourself mute yourself oh did it stop or she just no she muted it oh my god that is crazy going on with fire today that's weird yeah and also you need fire to cook as a chef so

this is all tying in together yeah yeah i feel like when you hear a fire alarm, you got to get a moving and just make sure. Yeah, fortune was very chill about that. Yeah, it cannot be chill. You got to go. Parv was being very chill about the fire near me. And I was like, it, they spread so fast. Like, so fast.

I'm going to send you a video of, of the fire. Okay. This was during my massage, so I missed it. But this is there. I sent it. So this will show you. Oh, Fortune's back. Oh, my God.

This is, that's your house. Whoa. That is intense. That is intense. Wait, what's intense? I'm back, y'all. May just shared a video of their house on fire. No.

And it is, well, whatever. Whoa, that's a lot more smoke than I realized. That's what we're all saying. Also, dang, that could have been real bad, May. All of this tying in. Plus, you are saying that the people, well, May's back of the house on fire, your hotel just went up in flames. And then we have a chef who is asking us a question.

And that ties into the unhoused people cooking behind your house. Oh, my God. Yeah, what is going on? And chefs use fire to cook. I didn't see this coming so full circle. I know. Look at this. The alarm stopped.

So I'm assuming it was a false alarm or else it would still be going. I think it was. This is like my fifth time in a hotel where the alarm's gone off. Whenever I hear a fire alarm, I think it's a teenager. trying to get out of an exam. Just pulling the alarm. Well, it's most, every time I've been in one, everyone kind of like waits it out in their room for a while.

And then they start kind of poking their head out of the door. Yeah. Is this for real? Yeah. I've had, I've had them go off at like three in the morning at hotels. That's the worst. And they make you go outside and everyone's in their little PJs. Yeah.

Well, I just want to tell people, don't set anything on fire to get out of an exam. Just grade your own paper and put an F and then you are out of your exam. I think my food opinion that makes me not trust people is kind of like the other side of the coin of yours, which is like when people claim to really not like any fast food. And I'm like, have you tried? There's a fire truck. Fortune.

There's a fire truck? This is outrageous. It might be going somewhere else. It's not going somewhere else. You guys continue. There's nothing to see. You're like the world's worst detective. The fire alarm went off and then a fire truck is coming and you're like,

it's probably so much. As violence play like the Titanic. You're like, it's unrelated. It's fine. It's fine. Enjoy the music. That's crazy. Sorry, May. I didn't mean for that fire, the fire happening around me to interrupt you.

Well, you should probably look and see if there's any handsome firemen. I think I'm good. You know, we're under. Contract. We need to keep you safe. I have to make sure this gets on Hulu. Yeah, we're under contract with headgum and Hulu. Okay. No, I was saying that I don't trust when people claim to not like any fast food.

Like if you're like, you know, what are the best fries? Like is it McDonald's Burger King in and out? And if people are like, I don't like any fast food. I'm like, it's okay to say, you know, you're trying not to eat them or whatever. But you know that's good. Like that tastes good. It's like people saying they don't like the Beatles. I'm like, you're just trying to be kind of...

Well, fortune's not crazy about them. You don't dislike them. You just are not into them. I don't dislike them at all. It's when people say I don't like that. But I'm not like dying over them like you guys. Yeah, that's fine. It's just when people don't acknowledge the contribution to music.

Oh, a huge contribution for sure. Then I'm like you're just being contrary. Now, I do want to be difficult with you for a second, Hit me. Oh, because you really don't like fast food? Well, no, I'm not, I'm not saying that. I just haven't had it in a long time aside from Chipotle or something like that. And your taste buds really do change. Yeah. And that is a real thing. That is a very real thing. And sometimes I think a lot of those French fries and stuff are cooked in like beef oil and what have you. Right. So there could be that. Yeah. Yeah. There are. fast food. I remember fast food that I liked. And not even, it doesn't even have to be like the big chains, but people who are like, I don't, I just, you know. They just want top. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Top chef food. But it is true. Like my mom every birthday, she's like, you know what? I just want McDonald's. On my birthday, I'm going to treat myself. I never have McDonald's. And she's always disappointed

because if you never eat McDonald's and you forget that, A, there's a huge. range depending on the location and stuff. There's some in Toronto that are like made made of wood and then yeah. And every time she's still like with I remember being at a party and there was like a vegan platter of cheese. And, uh, and I was eating it and I turned to this woman next me and I go, oh my God. This is so delicious. I can't remember what kind of cheese, what flavor it was, but or name. And I said, you have to try this. And she took a bite and she. And she She goes, how long have you been vegan?

And I was like, at like a decade, almost a decade. And she was like, this tastes nothing like Swiss cheese or whatever. And so that's that idea of like your taste buds totally change. And like if you eat healthy for like a month, certain stuff that like comfort food doesn't even, we used to always eat, even though it was vegan, we would eat the vegan mac and cheese. when Max and Finn were like three and they were really into that. And we ate it all the time. I think Thomas even did too.

But then they grew out of that. And then we cooked it for some reason recently. And when I ate it, it was the most disgusting thing. And I couldn't believe our family kind of lived off of that for a year. Yeah. I had that with rice errone. You remember rice errone?

Of course I do. Yeah. Like so delicious. what a decadent treat. And then I tried it as an adult and was like, oh, nasty. It is so disgusting. Yeah.

Yeah. That's interesting when that happens. What about you, Fortune? Well, this is, this goes down to a palate thing too because TIG could argue that like your palate changes. So this happens because you've been eating healthier. But I, these people that eat a dessert, take one bite of a dessert and they're like, it's too rich.

This is just too rich. I can't. Nope. I'm like, bitch. It's a dessert. That's what it's supposed to be doing for us. Yeah. And it is decadive for a reason.

It's doing its job. It's a treat. Yeah. I'm going to do there. Get on it. Yeah. But I do understand some people are really healthy. And so that is very sweet to them.

But they proclaim it to everyone. Like, it's too rich. I can't. You're like, all right. I like sweet and I like rich, but when I have birthday cake, I need, or even cupcakes, I just need a little bit less frosting. Am I the awful one too? No. Because I love.

I like the cake bit. Yes, I love all of it. But I just like a hint of icing. Well, with cupcakes, you know, they go heavy on the top. I like to your point, sometimes I'll take the bottom of the cupcake and put it on the top. So it's more evened out. So I get not wanting too much icing on a bite. Yeah.

Thank you for understanding. I also don't love when people, and my mom's guilty of this, but at this age it's not changing. This isn't necessarily a food opinion, but people that won't even try something, they've just decided they don't like it. And I'm like, but you have no clue. And it's not even something that necessarily,

I can understand certain things that look weird. you know quote unquote where you're like I don't know like Ooney doesn't that isn't that the like yellow tongue looking like thing yeah right it's Sierra chin I can understand seeing something like that being like mm not for me but there's so many dishes that just like people will just be like I just know I'm not going to like it and you're like you don't know that you really don't know that just from looking at it so I I like when people like my palette has evolved tremendously

over the years. I mean, growing up in small town, North Carolina, I wouldn't eat like onions or tomatoes or anything. You know, I don't know what that's not even weird, but as I got older, I would allow myself to like just like, just try it. You might like it. And then I would surprise myself and like, oh, this is actually amazing. Yeah. And if you don't like it, you can just take a swig of water and move on. Right. I don't know if this is a quote from something. but my dad used to always say, he like talks to himself and he would always go, try it, you like it. And then you go, so I tried it. I thought I was going to die. Was that from something? Or did he just make? I think he's just from your dad.

So I tried it. I thought I was going to die. Yeah. Well, Max and Finn at school, it's called a no thank you bite. Have you heard that? No, I like that though. What is it? Yeah. Just try a no thank you bite. Right. So have a bite. Then you're allowed to say no thank you. Then you're allowed to say no thank you. don't just say, uh, uh, that's really good. I also love when people will take a bite of something and it's terrible. And they're like, this is awful. Tases.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why do I, why do you want to put me through that too? Yeah. Oh my God.

You guys. Oh, this is so bad. You have to please try this. I have the epitome of that. And I, as you can imagine, like this is classic me. Okay. I was at one of the Oscar events and it was like a daytime brunch and I was so much wanting a nice espresso drink. And so I didn't know, but the manager

overheard me and they didn't offer it. But he said, you know what? I'll go in the kitchen and have somebody make you an espresso. I wanted a cappuccino. And so he brings it out. And I was like, thank you so, it was so nice that he did this. And so I was very thankful. I took a sip. I it was the most disgusting cappuccino I had ever had in my life. And I did that. I turned to everybody around me. I was like, please take a sip of this. And it first started out as a real thing where I was like, you, it is like, you cannot

believe that this is a cappuccino. And so a couple of people from our film took sips. And then I went wide with it. And this cup had, no, he wasn't there. He had already walked off. This became, let us see how many people we can get. And the cup, as I would bring it to somebody, and I'd be like, take a sip and it would have lipstick marks all over. And they were like, how many people have tasted this?

I'm like, literally 12. Please be the next one. And they could not believe how disgusting it was that they would join him being like, dude, you have to try this cappuccino. I don't know what he did to it. I have no. This was like, this was, you know how you talk about the horrible, you know it's a bad coffee shop. If there's a lot of flavor jars of flavors in the background, this was like 10 steps lower.

And it was at a nice place in Los Angeles. I don't know what happened. burnt and sour and It was whatever it was It was so bad But it was I cannot say I'm exaggerating When I think it got to 15 to 20 people

And it became this joke Where everybody was in And they were like Okay I'll do it And then like wait I gotta get my friend to taste it Man taste it Everybody's taste of this disgusting And but yeah

The guy, the manager He wasn't anywhere near us That's so validating That everybody agreed though It was, but it was also so fun and funny that everyone got on board with tasting this disgusting coffee that had lipstick marks all around the thing. It was probably a mix of like sour espresso with like expired soy milk. Yeah. I don't know what it was.

No, no, no. It wasn't the, I think it was almond milk. It wasn't that. It was truly... I just had some sour espresso before we taped because all the coffee shops here close at like three and so the hotel had... I got an espresso and I'm like...

Isn't it infuriating when you get a bad coffee? Yeah, you know, I'm a coffee snob. When I was in Portland, Maine, I went to have dinner on a boat and I didn't know I'd picked like a really touristy place. I think I think I was in Portland, I told this actually, but I showed up and I'd made a reservation. It was 8.30. I get there. They go, we're closing soon. So, and I was like, oh, but I made a reservation. There's five of us.

And then they're like, okay, well, yep. And then we get the menus and we order. And then she brings out a vacuum cleaner, starts vacuuming around us, around our feet. That's really good. Oh, my gosh. You like, you offered this reservation time. Is this the Portland Maine fire episode? Yeah. Yeah. And then I said, I said, what's, What's good on the menu? Do you have any specials? She goes, well, there's these, the chef does these Brussels sprouts. They are divisive. You're going to love them or hate them. I was like, okay, I've got those. Yeah. And what, how'd you feel? They were pretty nasty. They were pretty gross. Yeah. You know what? My aunt in Austin, she, when she's so against veganism. And she's so funny about it.

Because I'll, you know, send a little spoon her way. And she does this every time. Oh, that's cute. It's disgusting. Oh, my God. Disgusting. Yeah, I love food. I love good food. It makes me so happy.

Same. I'm curious to hear Kristen's answer. Yeah, a chef. Yeah, this is juicy. I have a very passionate answer. It's the food opinion, but it's the food opinion that also comes with a reaction, like a physical reaction. So it is the people that don't like mayonnaise. And when you say, what food do you really hate?

Oh, mayonnaise. And then they start immediately dry heating. Manehonese. Like they can't even get the word mayonnaise out of their mouth without barfing through it. How old are you? How old are you? Children react more mature than that. Manez.

Manez is delicious. It's a vehicle. It's fat. It's a way of browning things. On the outside of a grilled cheese. Yum. You know, smothered in. And a salad.

I'm from the Midwest. We call mayonnaise things salads. It is delicious. It's oil and eggs and then sometimes maybe a little acid and some salt and some different things. Also, the people that say, I don't like mayonnaise, but they love a ale. Come on, give me a break. Those are the same people on Yelp that give you a horrible review because they didn't like the way the menu looked. I don't know.

On no merit, basically. Yeah, but Kristen, okay, just to play double sabbat. Like Kristen's probably making this delicious mayonnaise homemade fresh. Like there's the little packets of mayonnaise can be pretty, they can be pretty bad. You don't like them. You don't like the mayonnaise. I would never gag like that, but I'm not a huge mayonnaise person. But I bet Kristen's mayonnaise I would love.

Okay, you're going to hate this. Yeah. My friend David Huntsberger, he was. was challenged to eat an entire jar of mayonnaise on stage at the comedy club in Austin and he did it

he did it that's disgusting he did it don't you come down hard on my little boy David Huxberger couldn't eat a whole jar of it he wasn't looking forward to it but he was getting anything for this Well, I got to tell the story on handsome. Who challenged him? The audience?

I think another comedian probably. It was a long time ago. He's really funny, David Hansberger. Yeah, he is. He's a good guy. And a whole jar. Whoa. Yeah, that's a lot.

Oh, geez. Oh, Tick. I mean, I'm really taking in that it was a whole jar. A whole jar. Yeah, that was a delight. Kristen's the best. What a badass in the food world. Yeah, she seems really, really cool. Nice. Thanks for joining us, Kristen. And it's a lesbian. Go lespians. We love lespians. Everyone loves lespians. Oh my gosh. Joan does. That was so weird.

Wait, did you know Bjork has a girlfriend? No. She just announced. Bjork has lesbian? Or yeah, Bjork has been a girlfriend. I think the girlfriend did a post that was like, I love my girlfriend. and the picture. And it was like, are you talking about me? Do you know how straight women call their friends, their girlfriends?

No, this is not a straight woman though. Okay. Well, congrats to you, Bjork. Yeah. You can catch me,

Tignotaro, in Colorado, Springs, Colorado at the Pikes Peak Center on July 16th. I'm also going to be at places like Rochester,

New York, Calgary, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Fresno, Napa. I have very few. If you go to Maymartin Music.com, you can get the deeds, but I'm going to be in Guelph, Ontario on the 17th of July. And then I'm also going to be in Yellowknife right after that. And I'm going to be playing my whole album. So come out and let's see if I still look at it.

website? This is a problem. I just realized because I went to my main website. It's not listed. I got to get on this. Yeah, you should combine all those. Yeah, this is crazy. Yeah, we got to get on that. This is crazy. Yeah. I get back on the road in August. I'd take a little break to promote the Hawk. The fun show with Will Ferrell. That's coming out July 16th on Netflix. So keep that in mind to watch. Little Cowboys on there too. In August, I'll be at West Hampton Beach in New York. Foxwood Casino in Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, Halifax, Canada, Providencedown, Massachusetts, Greenville, South Carolina, Wilmington, North Carolina. Then we're adding a bunch of dates like Boise, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Dayton, Louisville, Madison, Durham, tons of dates, Denver. So be on the lookout for those. Check out, handsomepod.com. There's some really good merch on there, and we love you. And make sure to, yeah, we do love you. and make sure to really take a moment right now, rate, review,

and also click subscribe on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. And yeah, check us out a day earlier on Hulu. But all that stuff helps us. If you like the show, do it. And until next time, keep it handsome. Hansom is hosted by me, May Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod.

What a podcast. What a podcast? That was a hate gum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether the new movie I'm being asked to do is science fiction or not. Gloop, glorp. I thought I was taking a break from acting in space and now I'm supposed to to be playing an alien from the planet. Bleedle-blutle. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan.

And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive. Yeah. From our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.