Handsome - Kristen Schaal asks about the afterlife

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Handsome takes some time to remember our friend Andrea Gibson, and the hosts answer a fitting question from Kristen Schaal about the afterlife.Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's paired.com slash handsome to sign up today. Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. You're joined as always by three individuals who individually are me, Mae Martin.

Me, Tig Notaro. And me, Fortune Themester. I have to say I'm still having that issue where I can't hear the theme song. So I just have to follow the head bobs. Oh really? Yeah. Well, the theme song is always in your heart. Oh really? Yeah. Well, the theme song is always in your heart.

I do know that. I do know that. Yes, it is. It is in my heart. It's in my soul. It is all encompassing. Well, it's good to see you guys. Good to see you too.

Everyone's looking good. Yeah, everyone's looking handsome. You and May are kind of twins. Yeah, we are. Today. Yeah, white shirts. White tees. White headphones.

Do you have a chain, a gold chain, Tig? It looks like Tig does have on a gold chain. I do. You know, the wonderful documentary I produced about Andrea Gibson, the film crew, we all wore Andrea necklaces over the past year. And yeah, and I don't normally wear it out of my shirt. And I actually honestly didn't even realize it was out of my shirt, but There it is. It says and does it say Andrea though? Yeah, it says Andrea. Oh, I can see that. That's nice

Yeah, that is nice. Yeah, we're so sorry for your loss and I've been Just consuming tons of Andrea's work and content over the past few days But how are you doing? I am... Yeah. Here it comes. Yeah. Very up and down, I imagine. Yep.

Or what you said before about feeling like you're on a different planet, that really resonates because it's like life is kind of continuing for everyone else, but you've got this fishbowl around you of just like... Yeah, it's just such a... It's so crazy. It's like before I got on today, I was like, Oh, I'm okay. I had a very rough morning, woke up at four, took a walk and watch the sunrise. Wait, do you hear that? No. What is it? I have no idea what I hear myself doing stand-up.

Oh my God. What do I do? You should listen to yourself and laugh. Yeah. None of the material sounds familiar. It's a future set. Hey, it's Tig. This is a little unusual, but it's about a week after we recorded this episode,

and I wanted to add in a quick explanation after the fact of what just happened. So mid-chat about the loss of Andrea Gibson, I started to hear random stand-up of mine in my headphones. Neither my co-host nor Thomas could hear it. I wasn't touching my computer or my headphones, nothing. I had to search for where this was coming from to try and turn it off. My relationship with Andrea was always fun and funny. So if this was Andrea, this is exactly how they would have messed with me on an episode where we are talking about them. Anyway, I just wanted to jump in from the future to give that moment some context in the event that you maybe would find this interesting in some way. Okay. Oh wow.

Where would I find this? I wonder, it must be playing on your computer somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, like in your iTunes. Maybe iTunes. I found it. That's crazy. That is really surreal.

That was... It was your own self telling you, trying to soothe yourself. Yeah. You said you got, went up for a walk? Yeah, I woke up at four this morning. I've been having trouble, I had been having trouble sleeping because I knew I was kind of expecting news.

Andrea had taken a turn maybe three weeks ago at this point today is July 17th Andrea passed away three days ago and when Andrea took a turn you know you kind of don't know know with cancer sometimes because some people just keep on chugging. Yeah. And in all honesty, I have been hoping for the past four years that my friend Andrea Gibson was a liar. I was hoping so desperately that Andrea was going to be one of those stories of somebody that lied about their cancer diagnosis because I kept thinking, I can deal with that.

I can deal with a friend that's a liar. We can get to the bottom of what is that trauma? Let's figure that out, you know? And I was having trouble sleeping, even though Andrea passed away. I woke up at four, I took a walk, watched the sun come up. It was just like unbelievably glorious. And and really felt like.

I want to I feel like I could keep walking for the rest of my life. I had so much energy. I was just taking in every bit of beauty around me. And, but it was hard. I was taking in the beauty. I was also devastated, reliving it all. And what I'll say is, I was lucky enough to get out to Boulder to be there at Andrea's bedside. And it's the fourth deathbed I've been at. And man, have they all been so different. Really?

Yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. And Andrea was at home. And I'm not going to go into great detail. This is all very new. But what I will say is that I don't know when I will ever come out of this headspace that I went through with Andrea's friends and family. So many people showed up from so many different histories

with so many complications, some with very short journeys, figurative and literal journeys to that bedside. And also emotional journeys to get there. And it was, you know, I talked to my therapist before just like, man, I'm, I am scared to walk in that door, seeing a friend die. And then also, this is a web. This is a web. And it was so transformative and beautiful.

Oh, in a positive way? Yes, indeed. I walked in with expectations that I think a lot of people did. And all of the journeys that everybody was on came together in one of the most beautiful, otherworldly ways that I, it was so sad, it was so deeply sad. And it was also so, it's, it's so crazy because the day I got there, Andrea was sitting up with their parents and like, you know, Tig, tell, tell my mom and dad about that thing with Max and Finn.

And, and, you know, I was telling funny stories and we were all sitting around. And by that night, that's where the turn took. But, and it all, I'm just so thankful I got there when I did. But man, when I walked in and saw Andrea, we just embraced and they were just sobbing.

We were holding each other sobbing and they were like, I'm crying because I love you so much, okay? And I was like, same, I love you. It just was really, really beautiful. And selfishly, I wish I could share every detail. But it's just not for me to do and it's not for me to do right now. But it was poetic. It was, I mean, Andrea was truly, it's so crazy too, because I met Andrea 25 years ago backstage in Boulder and I remember being

introduced and my friend was like, this is Andrea Gibson, a poet. I'm looking at this person that looks so familiar and feels so familiar. They're tatted up, cool, sexy. I came from like a past of rock and roll, music business, comedy. I was like, I know this person.

This person feels so familiar to me, but poet? That is, that's not my world. And then I, and then I watched Andrea walk on stage and just destroy the room. You're, you're crying, you're laughing. And I was like, I had never experienced anything like this, and nor would I have guessed 25 years ago backstage that I would be at Andrea's side at end of life. And I'm so, I think I mentioned this maybe somewhere on the podcast, but my dearest friend from childhood, sister died and I remember calling my mother and being like, what do I do?

I'm so scared to go over there. My mother said, you just go. You just walk in the door. you just go. You just walk in the door. Yeah. And that impacted my life. I think I was 23. And I remember having that fear of walking in to Andrea and Meg's house. But what was on the other side of that door? I mean, Andrea saw bits and pieces of what was happening in that house.

And if I had missed that, I mean, I would never have known what I missed. But it was life changing to the point. And I know, of course, I'll go back to my life and things will be, you know, back to normal, but the headspace I'm in right now, I cannot imagine. Like what are you carrying with you from it? Like a kind of, because I thought when it happened, it's so rare and unique for someone to be so aware of that process that they're going through and create art from it

and kind of narrate it for the people around them. And face it head on. Face it and be like, and so much of Andrea's work was about gratitude and presence and love and like almost helping the people around her in advance of this process. Like, yeah, what do you want to hold on to from that headspace? Like gratitude and presence and things?

Yeah, I mean, I think that's kind of the thing that you're... Once you experience that kind of sorrow, grief, loss, you just, you want to stay in that sweet spot of like, God, I'm so, I'm so thankful. I'm like, that's what I keep telling people is I'm equally as grateful as I am sad. I'm just, I'm, I'm, it's almost like I'm levitating. Like I've taken mushrooms or something where I'm just like, whoa, you are not going to believe what I just saw. There's that, but it's also,

it's just that bittersweet feeling. I keep thinking about Andrea's line of, you know, let your heart break so your spirit doesn't. let your heart break so your spirit doesn't. And it feels really good to just let my heart break. And I don't know, you know, it's so crazy. I was thinking about all the different losses in life. Like a parent can abandon a family or you go through a breakup or somebody just kind of ghosts you and you're left going, what happened? Like, what's just so many different versions of grief or confusion.

And what I have to say about Andrea is, and oh, and Fortune, I saw that you posted that love letter from the afterlife. That where Andrea is reading a poem they wrote for their wife. Yeah. Um, that's so beautiful. Mm-hmm. And I'm not a religious person. I'm not somebody that's like, oh, I can, I saw my loved one or I,

I, I, I don't know. I'm just not that person, but I have to say, Andrea, unlike so many of those other departures and confusing grief that you're left with, as sad as I am, I was just telling my friend staff the other day that I kind of can't finish my sentence because two different things are coming together, two different thoughts. One being I'm not a religious person. I don't really believe in the woo-woo stuff. Meanwhile, here comes this other thought of Andrea has left us,

our friends, our family, the strangers, fans, whoever, with so much to get through this, to carry us through. There's so many, especially when you hear that poem of a love letter from you. It was incredible. Wasn't it? Mm. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check and see if you have any clothes to donate when you're cleaning

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to get 10% off of the trio, which includes sizzle, frizzle, and drizzle, and get to cook in your next chef quality meal. What were your favorite lines? Tell me the altitude of heaven, and I'll ask me the altitude of heaven, and I'll ask how tall you are. That's not the exact line, but like, keeping the secrets in your back pocket of...

All the things you never said. Yeah, that you thought would make me love you less and that only makes me love you more. I mean, there's so many lines. I did not know Andrea personally. I got to see Andrea perform once and like you and like everybody just fucking blown away. Like how does a person have this kind of depth and the ability to speak it, you know? Like that's a thing that I might may have been watching

a lot of poems since Andrea passed and just like couldn't believe a person could describe the human experience and love in the way that Andrea did, the depth of it. And just seeing that, I just couldn't imagine how hard that would have been to write it and then say it to the person that you love and are leaving.

I can't imagine Meg hearing it. Yeah. So I posted it as an homage to Andrea having not known her, but really feeling the loss for all of the people in Andrea's life. Yeah. And it's gotten almost a million views of people just being like,

On your page? Yeah, like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Wow. I lost someone, and this makes me feel so much better. Yeah. Because, you know, I always think, like, when someone dies, like, you want them to be remembered. Yeah.

That their life mattered, and certainly Andrea's did and does and their words will live on and to just see people be like holy cow this this is transformative seeing this hearing this like it really it really was. Yeah and I know it's like I mean I texted this to you and I know it's like, no, it's not a huge comfort, I imagine, but to be able to have made that documentary and for Andrea to have felt that reaction and how much it touched people and to be able to sort of eulogize someone

when they're with us is so rare and special to be able to do that. But yeah, I hope everybody's, yeah, reading Andrea's work and watching the videos. And one of the beautiful, amazing things was that because so many people learned about Andrea, there was a massive influx of book sales of Andrea's that after I left, our friend Steph called me

and said Tig we have been having a book shipping party and they've been at Andrea's house just Meg and friends packing up all these books and shipping them off. Wow. And if I can encourage people, like if you're like, how do I get more Andrea? Not to turn this into a commercial, but like I know Andrea has saved so many people's lives through their words. I just would love for more people to experience the, yeah, just laser precision. Yeah.

Just real quick to go back to the afterlife, one of my favorite lines, and of course I can't, I don't know it exactly, but. Let's get it up. Yeah, yeah, get it up yeah yeah get it up but it's a line about how Andrea in the afterlife is going to share their grief with the people about to be born one day you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born and they are all the more excited yeah and saying I'm

with you more now than I ever was is pretty powerful. Like I thought I was going somewhere else, but I'm actually here more now than ever. Yeah, I think what struck me about Andrea was just seeing someone love life so much. Having not known Andrea personally, the takeaway is like, God, it makes you wanna be so much more appreciative, like you said, about being grateful. Like, there was an interview Andrea did about, like,

having just found out their cancer was incurable, and they went on a drive, and they saw like llamas, and Meg went on a drive and there was, they saw like llamas and Meg was like, look at the llama. And Andrew was like, I don't want to open my eyes because I'm afraid I'll love it so much. And then they did. And then they loved it so much.

And I just admired that, that just taking everything in so deeply and appreciatively. And then it makes you just like, I can only imagine how you feel in the people in Andrea's life, but it makes you be like, that's the person who should get to love this for so much longer. But then you're also like, they loved more than people do in 80 years, you know, they did that in 49.

Almost hit 50. And yeah, I know. And that was their dream. They just, they wanted to hit 50. And I said this in my post on Instagram, but it is, it's one of my favorite things that Andrea said is like, what kind of poet would I be if I could only make life beautiful on the page?

And I'm just like, I just love it. I just love it. And really towards the end of, you know, when somebody is going before they go, like, one of the most amazing moments is Andrea kind of yelled out as much as they could in that state, I fucking loved my life. And you're just like, Oh God. And they did. They did. And I think that's what I was saying before is like, I just, all of it. There's so much for me to turn to and carry me through like so many people.

Yeah. And I just am so grateful. I'm so deeply sad, but I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. It would be so easy to be like consumed by the unfairness of it all and the like for someone to stay buoyant through that and like what a gift to everyone and to them and the bravery. Yeah. Yeah. It's really inspiring. So Thomas has found the video of Andrea reading their poem, The Afterlife to Meg. And I think we should listen to it. It's pretty amazing, pretty powerful. Yeah, Andrea's reading it to Meg's face.

It was the final interview that that's what it came from. This is called Love Letter from the Afterlife. I've never read it like this. My love, I was so wrong. Dying is the opposite of leaving. When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here. I am more here than I ever was before.

I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close you look past me when wondering where I am. It's okay. I know that to be human is to be farsighted. But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living. Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive? those we love while they are still alive. Ask me the altitude of heaven, and I will answer,

how tall are you? In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you'd said. At night, I sit ecstatic at the loom, weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day, I listen to the radio of your memories. Yes, I know every secret you thought too dark to tell me and love you more for everything you feared might make me love you less. When you cry I

guide your tears toward the garden of kisses I once planted on your cheeks so you know they are all perennials. Forgive me for not being able to weep with you. One day you will understand. One day you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born, and they are all the more excited. There is nothing I want for now that we are so close. I open the curtain of your eyelids with my own smile every morning. I wish you could see the beauty

your spirit is right now making of your pain, your deep-seated fears playing musical chairs laughing about how real they are not. My love, I want to sing it through the rafters of your bones. Dying is the opposite of leaving. I want to echo it to the corridor of your temples. I am more with you than I ever was before. Do you understand? It was me who beckoned the stranger who caught you in her arms when you forgot not to order for two at the coffee shop. It was me who was up all night, gathering sunflowers into your chest. The last day you feared you would never

again wake up feeling lighthearted. I know it's hard to believe, but I promise it's the truth. I promise one day you will say it too. I can't believe I ever thought I could lose you. Jesus Christ. I don't know if I could have sat as strongly as that. I was like the Jesus Christ at the end. Oh my God. You know, and I also, I just, I know we've obviously turned this into, and I'm so thankful.

I owe everybody. First of all, the three of you reached out to me and it meant the world. And so did so many people. So, such loving messages and conversations that I've had. But as much as Andrea was one of the most incredible poets, As much as Andrea was one of the most incredible poets, I'm like desperate for people to know Andrea was also one of the most deeply funny people. I mean-

I could see that in- Deeply, deeply- A lot of quirks, yeah. Deeply funny and like somebody that found everything so precious, but also nothing was too precious. Yeah. And one thing I do want to share was like, one of my fears I was telling my therapist was like, I desperately wanted to get in bed with Andrea. I just wanted to be by their side

so close and I didn't know if it was gonna be okay to do that and but it was and and I This was this was like after things kind of took a turn but Andrea was Awake and talking but you know, very weak still. And so I crawl in bed and this is just like, so perfect. I crawl in bed and Andrea turns and points to these three little mysterious stains on the bed and just says, I don't know what these are, but we'll just blame them on Meg, okay?

And it just made me laugh so hard. I mean, so dry, so funny, so like ready for any, any kind of humor and joke. And one of my favorite things was the lines on Andrea's face when they smiled and laughed, their smile would lift when they smiled and laughed, their smile would lift their skin and create lines on both sides. And I just will miss those so deeply because they were there when Andrea was smiling and laughing. And I just like, you know, it goes back to that. When somebody feels like home, their sense of humor was home. Yeah. But again, I really appreciate this chance

to talk about Andrea. And I just am very thankful for everybody's love. And I know Meg and everybody's so thankful. So thank you for talking about it with us and letting us all like cry with you and feel that with you. Yeah, I'm sure people listening are also feeling that. Yeah, there are a few people who impact others so much that you would have a wife and four ex-girlfriends and dozens of friends surrounding you in your death. That is, I think a lot of people read that and went, whoa, that is uncommon.

And what a person to be able to bring all those people back around. And fortune? my friend, was it a few days of, it was, I'm endlessly thankful I was in that mix because I have not seen shape shifting in the most glorious way than in that house. Well, I can only imagine, yeah. You can only imagine. And I can't even imagine because it's just so rare

what you experienced is I imagine, yeah, that just does not happen. That's something to aspire to. That's like, you know you've've got a life well lived that, in your day to day life to keep that in mind in terms of your relationships and your friendships and stuff. Not to not like I hope these people are at my deathbed, but just like, how powerful those connections can be and how soothing and transformative and like just to evaluate them properly.

That's what it's all about. I mean, my mind was so blown after those days there that I was like, you know, I, I'm never excited to speak in kind of popular terms, you know, the like, I'm here for this and you know, whatever, but like after that happened, I was like, man, am I here for the surprises of life. What happened under that roof was one of the biggest surprises of life. And it was, yeah, just one of the most beautiful experiences. I think every single person that walked into that

house and walked out of that house just stunned with beauty. And it's all for the love of Andrea Gibson and Meg Fowley, who again is a beautiful person and poet and human being, which is also a person but anyway I'm just I'm here for the surprises of life I'm I'm so here mm-hmm and I know we've all experienced those and are they not the most glorious mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. For sure. Transformative, like you said. Yeah, yeah. So. We tried to pick a question here

that was sort of on theme. Mm-hmm. Weird transition, weird to transition. What if we were like, our question asker wants to know what our favorite food is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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all your favorite animated shows. That's Hulu Animaham, your animation destination. Catch all the shenanigans on classics like The Simpsons, Futurama, American Dad, and many more. Hulu Animaham, your animation destination. Stream now on Hulu on Disney Plus. For Hulu and Bundle subscribers, terms apply. If you love comedy, conversation, and hearing famous people get a little too honest, you'll

want to check out Armchair Expert. Every Monday and Wednesday, hosts Dax Shepard and Monica Padman sit down with actors, comedians, scientists, really anyone interesting for honest, curious, and hilarious conversations about life. But some of the funniest moments, they come from listeners. Every Friday, Dax and Monica listen to outrageous, awkward, and deeply human stories from fans on the phone in real time on their Armchair Anonymous series.

From disastrous dates to family secrets, accidentally joining a cult, and a poop disaster you won't believe. They've heard it all. It's relatable, chaotic, and laugh-out-loud funny. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe to Armchair Expert on YouTube. We'll stay on theme. Today is all in honor of Andrea. Today's question asker is an Emmy nominated actress, comedian and writer who starred as Louise on Bob's Burgers, Carol

on The Last Man on Earth, the guide in What We Do in the Shadows, and so much more. She is delightful. She has a new podcast called The Extraordinarians. Christian Schaal is asking today's question. Nice. Hi, Fortune. Hi, Jake. Hi, Mae. My question for all you handsome folks is, is there an afterlife?

It's just like off the top of my head. Just off the top of my head. Just off the top of my head. Can I tell you what is so crazy that ties us all together perfectly as I was just recalling, Kristen is from Colorado too. Oh, no way.

I didn't realize that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's perfect. I love Kristen. Yeah, she's yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's perfect. I love Kristen. Yeah, she's great. So funny, so unique. Oh my God, there's nobody like her. No, and that voice, I mean, you know,

people are obsessed with Bob's Burgers and she is such a vital part of that show. We've had some good voices on the pod and Kristen's up there. You know, we've had Cyndi Lauper, we've had some good voices on the pod and Kristen's up there. You know, we've had Cindy Lauper, we've had Arnold, we've had some iconic voices. Cool voices, yeah. Guys, we've had Andrea Gibson on the pod. We've had Andrea Gibson on the pod.

Asking about flirting, I think. I don't remember. Flirting? Yeah. Is there an afterlife? Well, I mean, I feel like to me, I'm sure there's something and I kind of hope it's nothing I've ever heard of or imagined. I hope it's none of the things that we've dreamed up and it's so beyond all of that.

But I'm always excited when science starts to bridge that gap between spirituality. So like I find it soothing knowing that energy can't be destroyed and then it goes somewhere. Like so I just hope that there's there's something like being reabsorbed into. Wherever you were before you came. That's what I hope. So yes or no? I'm gonna go. It's like, well, yes, but I don't know about it being a place.

I think that's a state. Like a spirit, like you're just kind of all around. Yeah, yeah. And I love all those things about people who've had near-death experiences and they describe this feeling of total love and euphoria and perspective and having all the answers. That sounds pretty good to me. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you guys think? I believe in an afterlife. I mean, I don't know that I like think of it in terms of like how they portrayed it in movies. Like you show up to the gates and everyone's like hanging around in a robe. But that'd be amazing though, if that is exactly what it was. I know. I know. Like a spa day. I do have this nagging fear that it's gonna be like fucking exactly. I guess what makes me want to believe is because of,

I've talked about before, my grandmother. I just want, I just feel her so much around me that like it has to be something. I don't know, like May saying, what it looks like, but it is an energy. And it could just be that's me making myself feel better, but there's so many things that have happened where I have asked my, I kind of like when in hard times, especially this year, the last, you

know, this, this whole year, actually, I have summoned my grandmother more than ever in guidance and answers. And I will tell you some of the things that have happened right after have been like, holy crap. She answered very clearly right away in some really big specific ways that I was just like, I mean, she has to be with me because that there are several things and that's just like, otherwise it's some crazy coincidences. But those are the things that make me feel like there is something more. And also, again, like hearing

people's, I haven't seen a ghost, yeah, ghost. But hearing other people's like very clear, vivid experiences make me go, well, there's something. There's something. Because that so many people have seen something or felt something that it's like, that can't be an accident. I'm open to it all. And if you ever, you were saying you feel like you're on mushrooms, Tig, and I think part of that comes from, and I'm not advocating strong psychedelic cues, but the thing that is unanimously reported with those experiences and that I've felt is the illusion that we're separate kind of dissolves, and you feel the real truth of that connectedness and like a source energy or whatever.

And so I gotta believe that that's part of it. Yeah. What do you feel Tig? I don't believe any of it. Yeah. No, you know, I was just sitting here thinking about, I mean, since we were so deep diving on Andrea, and again, I'm very thankful for that time

that we did deep dive. And believe me, we could have gone deeper and longer. But I think about what Andrea was saying of like, why didn't anybody tell us that we're reincarnated into the people that we love that are still alive? And I think more than an afterlife, this is where it's hard for me to finish my sentences because I have these different feelings that and ideas, but I can feel that more, you know, with the energy going some places into us right now, like your grandmother is in you

and Andrea is walking with me as I'm crying down the dirt path. But yeah, I mean, is that afterlife? I guess that's a version of it, but I really don't know. I don't know if it's Andrea's energy or if it's Andrea's just thoughts that are guiding me. And to go back to the afterlife poem, it's the first thing I've heard or read

that has felt so comforting and so much like a guide. And like, I just feel carried right now by Andrea. I know so many people in their life do and if that's the afterlife and if I'm wrong, if there's pearly gates and robes and I hope so much. What a bonus for you, right? Oh my gosh, if Andrea's pearly gates and robes and I hope so much. What a bonus for you. Oh my gosh. If Andrea's in a robe. Yeah.

Right now. You know what I sometimes feel like because people always talk about like a like peace and you're elevated beyond the kind of minor troubles of this human experience and stuff. And I'm like, I hope I don't, I hope there's some drama as well. Cause like, I would, I think if it's the answer to all your shit all of a sudden, just like if it was all peaceful all the time, like I hope there's still a bit of spice, you know, some cattiness amongst the... Some flirting, some like highs and lows, you know?

Cause the lows are part of it too, so yeah. Well, there also has to be, you know, if that is happening, you know, I'm thinking about if people in the afterlife are looking over us and they're seeing things, there has to be upsetting moments or funny moments. And so there's waves that will be made in that way. And I had this moment that I was mortified by yesterday. I had these friends, my childhood friends come in town,

Megan and Kristen, and we had all taken a picture. And it was such a great picture of me and Kristen and Megan and Stephanie, but in the background was a porta potty. And so I asked my assistant to remove the porta potty from the picture. And so I sent the new picture to I thought my friend Megan, but I sent it to Meg and Andrea yesterday. And I just sent a picture and I said I had my assistant remove the porta potty. Oh my god and sent it to send it to Andrea and and to me and Andrea. I sent it to Andrea's wife? Sent it to Andrea and to Meg. Oh, and Andrea.

And Andrea. Oh my God. I sent it to both of them. And then I saw immediately and I was like, oh my, even though I know Meg so well, I was still like, oh God, oh God, oh God, because like Meg's not in the mood to see Andrea's name pop up on the phone.

Like that is so confusing. And so I just was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know how this happened. It took me a second to realize it was the Meg and Megan thing. And then Meg wrote back, I love you. This is no doubt making Andrea laugh as it did me. So please don't worry.

But I was truly like, oh my, and this is why Stephanie at our house is like, you're not allowed to press buttons. Because I'm just like, I send things on wrong text threads nonstop. Oh my God. Nonstop. And I did that yesterday. I was like, God. I have the port-a-potty

removed. It's also hilarious. The whole thing. It went to Meg and Andrea in a port-a-potty, and it goes back to Andrea and Meg. Everything's so precious to them, but nothing is, you know? But I knew there was a chance it could have leveled Meg. But thankfully, she was like, oh my God, this is hilarious. And Andrea is so deeply laughing at this. Oh my God. I don't know, I think with the afterlife, my kind of thought is like, and it's so removed from like religious stuff when I say this, because that's a whole other ball game. With the afterlife,

you're kind of like, what is the harm in having hope that you see a loved one again? Who knows? But if all it does is make us feel better, that it helps in even a tiny way with our grief, then great. Yeah. You know, like grief is so hard and devastating and to lose someone you love and so desperately want to see again, if it makes you feel better that one day you will,

good, then that's helping you through that grief. And that's just kind of how I look at it. And so I think it's different for everybody. There are so many things that we can't see with our eyes, but we know to like, love is so ephemeral, we can't see it or like quantify by you feel it so profoundly. Why is all around us and it's real and yeah like you know what I mean there's no reason why you're gonna make me cry. That's really touching to the today. This episode has already been a wrecker. And now to think of the Wi-Fi. But yeah, you know, I hear you both. And I agree.

It's like, what's the harm in that? Yeah. God, I hope you see your grandmother again. And how lucky that you feel guided by her. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if it's just like helping me make better decisions, if it's helping me feel peace,

if it's helping me get through a sad day, I'll take it. Yeah. And also like culturally, we never talk about death, or everybody's, you know, and so to even just as a fan of Andrea, watch this and be confronted with it like that, it's, it's so powerful and helpful. And it makes me want to like, I think about, I remember when David Bowie was dying and he made Lazarus that album, it just makes me wanna leave funny notes behind paintings

to make people laugh. The more you can sit with it and be okay with it, the more you can curate it in the way that you want, I guess. Yeah, you can create your own afterlife. Yes, yeah, yeah. Definitely, seeing Andrea too, with these poems and the words and the depth, it makes you want to, like, not be so scared to share feelings, to tell people how you feel, to take chances, to, you know, like, even going through this heartbreak

that I've experienced this year, like I don't wanna shut myself off or close my heart, you know, like seeing that depth and the facing of these emotions and not being afraid to share emotions, it definitely made me go just freaking live life and take some swings. Who cares? You know? Yeah. Absolutely.

Oh my god. Was it like some interview with Ethan Hawke maybe where he was talking about poetry and the value of it or how it's interesting that we always reach for it like when someone gets married or when someone passes away like these are the moments where we find poetry helpful and yeah I thought that was cool. That's nice. I was when I was talking to our friend Steph yesterday, because she's still with Meg and she was like, she said that Andrea wore hoodies all the time and Meg's gonna give Andrea's friends

different hoodies of theirs. And I was like, oh, that's so great. And I just wasn't assuming I was gonna get a hoodie or anything. I didn't know how, that's so great. And I just wasn't assuming I was gonna get a hoodie or anything, I didn't know how many hoodies there were. And Steph goes, oh yeah, and you're getting the hoodie that apparently every time Andrea wore it, they said, what do you think Tig would say

if she saw me in this hoodie? And I was like, I cannot wait to get this hoodie. Like I cannot wait to see what this hoodie is. I cannot wait. Yeah, it's cool. Oh my God, I cannot wait. Anyway. Well, should we should we hear what Kristen's answer is?

Yes, yes, yes. If I were going to answer that, and I guess I am, I would say that yes, there is. Because, well, I know one's been, there's no proof that there isn't. No proof that there is no proof that there isn't. But there is something about the fact that we have these imaginations That I like to think is a little gift like a little e-vite from from like someone Someone up there just like tickle tickle tickle

Let you know somewhere else to go oh a little tickle tickle tickle Classic classic Kristen when we feel a little tickle tick tickle, tickle. Classic, classic, Kristin. When we feel a little tickle, tickle, tickles, we know what that is. Yeah. I just saw Kristin at a party and we had such a nice conversation and it ventured into the religious world. Spiritual realm. Yeah, yeah. So it's perfect that this was her question. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing with us. I know this is not an easy week. That's not an easy thing to talk about.

We'll cut all that out, right? Everything Tick said about Andrea? Absolutely. That needs to go. Just kidding. It'll just be tickle, tickle, tickle. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Thank you so much. It'll just be tickle, tickle, tickle. Tickle, tickle, tickle. But no, we appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you all for your support and everybody

who loves and appreciates Andrea. Thank you. And dig more into their poetry and Meg's poetry. And don't wait for a funeral or any of those moments of life. Check it out and don't wait for those moments to say your appreciation, to share your appreciation for people. 100%.

Yeah. Say the thing that you want to say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Throw the party now. That's right. Throw the party tonight. Throw it tonight. Get in touch. If you let us know that you threw a party tonight.

Yeah. If this is your first time listening to handsome, this is not a typical episode. We've had a couple of this song that have been deeper. I know. I know. May, it's your turn next. Oh, gosh. I know, Mae, you better get emotional soon. I've been crying for the past hour. Yeah.

But yeah, if this or any other episode speaks to you, you really enjoyed it, share it with a friend and let's build our community and subscribe to the podcast and like and review and get our merch, walk around with our little handsome merch and does anybody have anything coming up? I don't really, I'm chilling for August but my show Wayward comes out in September, so I'm getting excited for that.

Yeah. And check out my music on Spotify or Feel Good on Netflix. Amazing. I'm actually performing in Iceland Friday, August 8th in Reykjavik. So if there happen to be any handsome listeners out there, I'd love to see you. Then Spokane in a couple weeks. And then I start a lot of new dates in San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, DC, Boston, Mobile, New Orleans, Atlanta, Cincinnati, Chicago, tons of places. So come see me on tour, fortunefamster.com. And I will be in West Ampton Beach, New York, August 17th,

Dynasty Typewriter, September 21st, the Beau Ravage Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi, September 27th, back at Dynasty, October 4th, Largo, October 17th, and the road goes on forever. I'll be back up in Toronto, but yeah, all local dates in LA and Toronto are, you know, new material fumbling through it all. So come on out and I don't know until next time. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune

Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!

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