Handsome - Lil Rel Howery asks about pizza

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Lil Rel Howery (Get Out, Free Guy) asks about an extremely important topic: pizza. Plus "breaking the seal," Mae facts, and party invite etiquette! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Feimster Follow us on social media @handsomepod Email the show: [e-mail] Don't forget to rate & review Handsome wherever you get your podcasts!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Handsome, I'm Tig Notaro. I'm Fortune Feimster. And I'm Mae Martin. Woo! Yeah. We're handsome. We're so handsome today. So handsome.

So handsome. Fortune's wearing a beautiful're so handsome today. So handsome. So handsome. Fortune's wearing a beautiful pink t-shirt. Thank you. Good for the complexion. My mom, my mother always said, Oh yeah. Pink is.

Yeah. Pink is. Okay. Pink. You'd think that fortune and I would know that as, um, what are we? What are we?

Women? We are, we are women. We are ladies. We're ladies of the night. No what we are southern oh yeah southern bells oh yeah and southern bells are pretty invested in how to make the complexion glow i would say tig and i in particular are very invested in that yeah how are you all it's nice to see you. Nice to see you guys. It's been a couple weeks, hasn't it? Or no, I know. It's been a week. It's been a week. It feels like to

anybody up to anything handsome. Well, I saw fortune in Montreal at just for laughs. So that was we were pretty handsome there. Yeah, we were. Yeah. What about you take? Oh, I've just been traveling with my family. I mean, that's pretty handsome. I think you don't get much more handsome than that. No, it's been so fun. This is really I was just saying to Stephanie, this has felt like we have really had a summer. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It is proper summer. Yeah, we've just we've been at the beach. We've been in the mountains. We've been in the city. We've been on the road. We've been flying. We're just like, in the ocean and hot tubs and friends and out to dinner and cooking and that's amazing. All sorts of everything. Seeing family and old friends and seeing our kids. It's so cute. Just running out into a park and field and wanting to play with other kids. And there was this soccer field where there were older kids, probably junior high and fifth grade.

And our son, Finnn was standing there watching and i said do you want to do you want to go play with them he was like uh i can just watch and i said but if if they if they wanted you to play does that sound fun and he said yeah and i said well why don't i go over and just introduce everyone and see and he said okay oh my god that's so cute because he won't be able to do that when they're teenage like a little bit older than this they'll be too embarrassed so this is perfect yeah it was so cute and so we walk up and it's like these guys with backward hats and sunglasses on and you know and I said hey um do you think and and my kids are so athletic that it can look

like oh a seven-year-old's coming in but surprise twist they're really good and so I said um hey um do you think there's maybe some room for an extra player and this kid again must have been like 13 he goes yeah sure he said why don't you be on my team buddy oh and then then jumped into the soccer game and was immediately kicking ass no it's so cute that's what's up this story is amazing because i'm watching the 13 year old high five my little seven year old i just was like i don't know what to do with my emotions that has that 13 year old needs a medal and to that's like thank god there's hope for the future that's amazing the sweetest kids and thankfully he was good yeah exactly all the other friends of the 13 year old

they're like man what are you doing that for yeah you ruined our day man i know i took video i i did it very quickly and just like walked away but i just had to get video of of my little tiny son well and then max joined too my two little tiny sons running around with teenagers on a soccer field was just god a little much for me yeah that's what a summer's supposed to be you know yeah yeah that's what i've been thinking about lately is like jacks has been like we have to like also live our life and do some fun things it can't just be work all the time yeah and i made that mistake this summer i just yeah i'm pretty busy yeah out the yahoo and oh you've been just working non-stop non-stop and okay whereas now i'm seeing my some of my other comedian friends just are starting to take summers off

and i'm like maybe i need to start looking at that yeah yeah go to a cottage or something i'm gonna go to toronto for four days but man i've been slammed but also i was recently in a park with a kid and okay not to toot my own horn but i was playing we were like playing a make-believe game where i was a monster who was trying to get her but i couldn't leave the sandbox area so she was safe outside of the sandbox and then i guess i got really into the character and i started singing this song about like i'm the loneliest monster in the world or something like that and like how i have no friends and she just burst into tears and then she was like i i'll play with you monster like she was so sad that the monster was lonely because i was like no one cares oh my god so happy with myself that i

like concocted a song that devastated this child yeah yeah i was so proud she had real tears i really leveled her yeah and it felt good but we were so deeply invested in this game it was it was super fun. Yeah. And do you think you'll release that song as a single? The wheels are in motion. Yeah. I say get on it.

I'd love to do more voice acting of like weird little squirrels or monsters. Oh, let's hear the weird little squirrel. It's like, yeah, you guys. It's always like New York.ork how you guys how you guys trying to catch up to everyone wait for me wait for me you guys i've done a fair amount of voice acting but it always sounds like me except for this one uh cartoon network thing i did. I played a monster that had a really low voice like this. Oh.

I love that. And was it a lonely monster that didn't have any friends? She was kind of like she had friends, but she was definitely more like, you know, the outcast. Yeah. I was like, I don't want to use my voice because this voice has friends. Yeah. Right. Right. That's a because this voice has friends. Yeah, right. That's a very popular voice. Yeah, it radiates social.

This person. That person. No friends. Nobody's picking up when I call. Yeah, you get stuck at a party in a corner with that person. Oh, there's nothing worse than getting stuck at a party in the corner actually i put myself in the corner in a lot of parties you put you did that at my party yeah you prefer to be alone in that corner no i just like i know i appear to be very like i am outgoing but i kind

of had to train myself to be outgoing by nature I'm a little bit more introverted and a little shyer than people would realize. So when I'm in a social setting where I don't know a lot of people, I tend to like find a corner. Hopefully there's snacks and I eat some snacks and kind of what I like watching the party. I'm not having a bad time. I'm just more observing everyone in their element. Yeah.

Yeah. You bring your throne. I take, I can't imagine you getting stuck in a conversation with someone boring. Cause in my mind you'd be standing there and they'd be talking and you'd be like, I'm going to stop you there. I feel like you just say,

I'm going to excuse myself from this conversation. Or you'd really politely say. I am bored to tears. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can see you saying that to someone. Yeah.

I'm bored to tears. Just being like, I don't, just kind of like, I'm going to remove myself from the situation. You do it in a good way. Charming way. Yeah. None of those examples are charming. No, that is charming to be like, I'm gonna i'm gonna just leave you and uh okay buckaroo you know what i have not stood in that corner of the room yet yep and i've been

aching too so yeah stand over there yeah i don't mind being alone at a party. I certainly don't enjoy when somebody thinks I'm alone and bored and they have to fill my ears with talking. And you were perfectly fine and then they're... Perfectly fine. I just wanted to look at everybody and observe. Same. Yeah. And then it's uncomfortable when somebody because they're projecting what they would want yeah and they think they're rescuing you yeah

yeah i don't know if i mentioned this on this show or not but i was at a when i had first moved to los angeles i was at a sun dance party said, Oh, there's a bunch of people going to this house and you should come meet up. And I went there and I knocked on the door. Nobody answered. And I continued to knock. The reason nobody answered because the music was going, people were talking, nobody was knocking on doors to walk into the party so I finally go in and I don't nobody that invited me to this party was there oh man I stood by the snack table yes and I had been snowboarding all day and I had my I think I had my sunglasses on a string you know around my neck and I was just standing there eating snacks and then um this girl came up and

talked to me and had a nice chat i thought and then after she walked away i looked down and my sunglasses had been catching all of my crumbs that didn't make it into my mouth. And so I was just sitting there chatting with crackers. And chips. With a little crumb bib. You're like a little squirrel eating. Yeah. Oh, my God. Like May's little squirrel.

Yeah. I didn't know where that story was going to go. And I thought it was going to be and she walked away. And I realized that was Malala or something like that. But then. Or I thought they were going to tell you to leave the party yeah man like maybe we're the wrong party i might have been i don't even know if anyone showed up oh that's such a tig thing to say that's such a perfect tig response which to me just encapsulates you because you're so unique which we were texting about

and then you posted the story about you meaning stephanie and taking it to the next level and it killed me so it was one of those like social media moments where like i'm on tiktok and there's a tiktok from a it's a post from a podcast of a interview that that tig's wife stephanie did talking about how she and tig were hanging out and just sent tig this really long email and we had kissed we we kissed and then the follow-up was this long 10-page email yeah because stephanie was had not had only been with men and there was all this tension i remember seeing this in your documentary and being like get me in that relationship no i don't think it was in the documentary what was i don't know what it was in or maybe stephanie just told me i just love it we've told the story a few times but but it does not get old and i had never heard

i had never i say it doesn't get old i had never heard it before um so it didn't get old to me um but i don't want to you to stephanie sent you that long email and then what happened yeah she was just like oh my gosh i just love hanging out with you i have so so much fun. I love laughing. It was fun to kiss. And it was true. I'm not exaggerating. I could find the email and I should I haven't looked for it in a long time. But it went on and on and on. Just kindly letting me down saying that she didn't want to lead me on. We that she can't date me. Saying I'm straight or yeah yeah yeah and then i just pressed reply and only wrote okay dyke and then press send and i just laughed so hard on my end but also knew i was bummed but i also knew that was a huge risk but i thought whatever

shouldn't want to date me who cares nothing that was you thought at the time probably but she told me as soon as she got that email I sent it immediately after I read her email and I just wrote okay dyke and um and she said she laughed so hard and and she said honestly in that moment i thought okay i like her yeah and that kind of is what helped you know move our relationship along yeah saying okay i'm so glad you like followed your gut and you didn't send this email back being like you hurt me or i'm like yeah yeah because that was like i said the perfect tig response that's like so you when i think of you and like your humor you know and if she hadn't gotten that like if she

had been like oh okay that's not your person right no but the fact that she's darn laughing you're like that's your person well it sounds like you might be my person fortune yeah because you're a boy I think you were laughing I was crying I was on the couch and Jackson's like what are you laughing at I said this story about taking Stephanie like tears were streaming though my face just just the idea that someone sent this like huge long heartfelt email letting you down and like ending things and you're just like okay dyke ending things that didn't even we weren't even together you know we just like we met up one night with a group of friends and kissed and then she sent me this i didn't even ask what was going on between us you know she was just like let me get ahead of it nothing is

going on between us and now we are married with a production company two kids and three cats what did she say when when it came back up i mean i know y'all talked about it before but it's just something i'll laugh about at this point. What, when I told her that you had said that? She said that she gets a lot of feedback from that story. And I think she was a little, I don't know if it's crazy to be like, I can't believe Fortune didn't know that story. It's not like it's the most famous story in the world, but people have definitely heard it.

Like I've mentioned it on podcasts and she has too. I think she mentioned it in like a vanity fair article okay yeah yeah i had not seen it but it gave me quite the chuckle so i appreciate it okay everybody like that now okay dyke yeah well i thought of like having uh t-shirts made and things like that like because if you see you know okay dyke and you're familiar with us then a million percent we're bringing it back get ready to sell those t-shirts that's right now that it's on the handsome pod yeah screw vanity fair how did we get on i can't remember how we got on this but i love it it. I brought it up. Well, we're just a real LGBTQ plus gaggle.

And so those kinds of stories are going to come up with us. Hey, if you don't like it. Stick around. Stick around. Whether you like what you hear or whether you don't, stick around. There's more of that coming. We've been talking about it on the podcast. I've been treading water lately, just a few minutes out of my day that I take for myself to do something that's good for me. I wake up feeling

better. I have more energy and you know, small actions like that can have big benefits, like how taking care of your gut can support whole body health. Well, Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic benefits your gut, skin, and heart health in just two little capsules a day. Now I've been using Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic and it's great. My skin feels better. I feel better. It's just good. So trust your gut with Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic. Go to seed.com slash handsome and use code 25handsome to get 25% off your first month. That's 25% off your first month of Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic at seed.com slash handsome code 25handsome. I love the show hacks and it is back baby for season three. That's right. We are going to see what kind of antics Debra Vance is up to this season. She is such a treat to watch because who doesn't love Jean Smart?

She is so freaking talented. Now, season two left off with Ava being fired. If you haven't watched any of Hacks, guess what? It's on Max. You can catch up, and I highly recommend that you do so before season three starts. There is also an official Hacks podcast. In each episode, Hacks creators Lucia Agnello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky speak with cast and crew members to unpack the Emmy-winning comedy series. So check out that podcast,

but watch Hacks streaming exclusively on Max and listen to the official hacks podcast on max or wherever you get your podcast i don't want to make you guys jealous but i am going to taylor swift's tonight so am i hey look at that dude handsome handsome yeah and i i have to say i i don't i'm this is not like me being a hipster like I don't know her music I know maybe three songs like that's hilarious everyone's like dying to get tickets and you're like I'm not really familiar I know

the person I'm dating got got tickets from her friend and I got it I think it's like a cultural moment right yeah yeah and everyone says it's like mind-blowing you guys both love her i love her i think she's fantastic i love that yeah i followed her when she was only a country artist right her song tim mcgraw do you know that song oh yeah that she the duet with him or no she had no it's not

before she did the duet she did eventually do aet, but I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. That song hooked me. The Tim McGraw song. Not the duet, but the... Yeah. But I do love Tim McGraw, I gotta be honest. And then I went...

When I had gotten out of the hospital after I had been diagnosed, I was invited to Stand Up To Cancer, that Katie Couric event that she puts on. And that was 2012. And when Taylor Swift made a surprise appearance at Stand Up To Cancer, it was still massive. I remember being like, whoa, Taylor Swift is here. Yeah, really? Yeah, she sat down and played, I think, guitar and piano. And I think that really won me over where I was like, well, she's legit. She's impressive. Yeah. And she's doing it right.

I mean, this whole tour is like mind blowing. And it's such a, like you said, a cultural moment. Like, yeah, that someone's brought this many people together. I know. Very different walks of life. People are going and into her and different age groups. You and me, we're very different walks of life. That's right.

We're both going. I don't have anything to bedazzle myself with. I've been seeing a lot of rhinestones on TikTok. But what's also interesting is Stephanie and I were talking about this this morning, which I think everyone's just spending their life right now talking about Taylor Swift. And so this morning when we were having coffee, we were talking about how she'll plant her tour in a major city for two weeks and do a stadium every night in the same city. And so obviously, there's so many different walks of life going to her show. There's probably a lot of similar walks

of life going to her show. But what's really fascinating that Stephanie brought up is how she's a very political person she's politically active she's very outspoken she's not playing it safe and walking a line to draw in yeah everybody yeah but she's getting everybody yeah just here in la can you imagine she's like here like six nights or something. 75,000 people. I mean, it's mind-blowing. The amount of tickets she's selling.

How are you getting your Uber after? Because I'm a little concerned about how... I think I want to drive. I don't think I want to chance the Uber. Oh, you should helicopter in, both of you. That'd be very handsome. I didn't think of that, of course. What a handsome idea. But not just helicopter in both of you oh i didn't even think of that handsome i didn't think of that of course what a handsome idea not just helicopter in hanging off the little things that you

go down on the rope no not a rope they don't even land from the helicopter into the stadium just they're like is that fortune in may i have my phone i'm like taylor can you ask the handsome pot a question as you're falling down and then the audience catches you they taught you know crowd surf yeah only one of you you should helicopter in and jump into the crowd. May, you should be there to be stunned when fortune is passed by you. And we'll have someone taping you going, oh, okay. Yeah, and it'll go viral. Just me. I look up and I do a double take and fortune's just crowd surfing to the front.

And that goes viral. Yeah. And just May's voice going, oh. And then I look right at the camera and I go, And then you turn into that little squirrel. What? You guys, wait. Wait up.

I don't want to crowd surf. I'm going to have to find a helicopter today and learn how to jump out of a helicopter. You got a busy day. Gosh. All Mae has to do is go, Mae just needs to learn one Taylor song. Oh, God. I know. Shake it song. Oh, God, I know.

Shake it off, shake it. And I know, I knew you were trouble. I'm going to say that when you come go by me. I'm going to go, you were trouble when you dropped in. This is how old I feel. I bought earplugs. That's smart. I knew that she has so many young fans who are gonna be screaming

oh my god cut to fortune screaming this makes me feel like i'm a hundred but all i can think is that there's gonna be 75 000 people literally screaming she won't be too loud but i'm gonna be wearing these i i'm excited to hear her but not the 75 000 screaming people okay fortune with your earplugs would you also please wear a nose plug like a swimmer's nose plug yeah just plug every every hole possible people are wearing all kinds of crazy things so i could probably get away with it i don't know i literally actually i actually just found out this morning i'm going so this is all very last minute may what are you wearing uh you know a suit no i don't know i just i mean i didn't know people dress up i guess i'll wear just my regular i got a flight at 7 a.m tomorrow morning i gotta get rid of this

grinch attitude though i gotta i have to go in with joy in my heart and let taylor lift me up let taylor lift you up she's gonna blow your mind yeah i do know that i'm excited about that i don't know who's opening heim is it heim Haim? Oh, I love Haim. Yeah, they're rad. I love Katy Perry. And years ago, Stephanie got me tickets to go to see Katy Perry. I don't know how I was completely out of touch with this element. I just thought everybody else would be at the concert like me, just a fan of Katy Perry and watching Katy Perry in concert. We show up. I'm sure this won't shock you.

It was full of children. No. And everybody had like sparkles and like, you know, little antennas with stars on their head. You know, Pink had some of stars on their head, you know. Pink has some of that too, some of that fan base too. Yeah, and then Katy Perry was like floating around on some sort of rocket ship through the air. And I was like, what is happening? I mean, I enjoyed it, but I started to feel a little self-conscious

that I was at this concert. Because baby, you're a firework. Yeah, I had all my gray hair and I was like, concert. Cause baby you're a firework. Yeah. I had all my gray hair and I was like, I said, Stephanie, what are all these kids doing here?

And she was like, that's her audience. She kind of plays into that campy kind of thing. Had no idea, but fine with me. I just didn't know. You're still a fan.

Still a fan. I love pink. I love pink. I love pink. Love pink. Fortune, I feel like I'm going to look up at one point tonight and see you in like the VIP section of the Taylor Swift concert. And I'm going to be like jammed between 25, 12 year olds. And just like, I don't know where I'll be.

Just thinking about it. I have to pee. Wear a diaper. Should I? Well, just out and about every day. Yeah. It is going to be a whole thing. And I'm not normally the type of person that likes to go to things that's a whole thing.

But it felt too big to pass up. Like, I can't miss Tay Swift. Yeah, you got to go. Yeah. When we do our handsome stadium tour, do you think kids are going to come? Like, are we going to have a big production with, like, like you know people oh yeah spaceship we're gonna be flying around on spaceships holding whiskey in our hand katie perry will make a surprise appearance no we're gonna slam into katie perry on her rocket ship yeah we're like oh damn pink will be twirling on her rope or whatever she does that's what i want

to see us do the the aerial acrobatics yes yes one million percent that's what our audience would be there for but it's just our theme song playing over and over again and then with a clank yeah we finally land on stage and just talk for 40 minutes and then go back on the ropes this sounds very exciting no yeah it'll be a cultural moment it's one million percent and it'll no one will even tell a friend we're talking about how no and our only demographic will be people exactly like us and we well i think it's that time y'all i'm excited because we just did a show with this person in montreal fortune and i uh just for laughs and the host was lil rel howry yeah lil rel is so funny he is from the carmichael show he really blew up on the movie uh get out he

played the tsa agent who was so hilarious. And ever since then, he's been in a thousand things. The movie Free Guy and Vacation Friends. He's also a very funny standup. And he asked the handsome pod a question. What's going on? It's your boy Lil Rel. And this is my question, okay?

Not access to everybody because you're comedians. You go on the road, you know the truth to this. Who has the best pizza, New York or Chicago? Ooh, it's funny hearing people yelling in the background. This was after the show. Yeah, it's probably me yelling about how much I bummed. You did not bum. It was probably other people he had just asked this question to at the festival. He's like, who has the best pizza? And they're arguing in the

background. That's true. It's a very divisive question. I'm almost scared to wade in like with this could we could lose like 50% of our listeners. I will say my real quick on that show. It does make a difference where you go. So's a crowd work show so everybody had the same crowd to work with i went first on that show and so the crowd had not been asked anything so there's a lot to work with and then in the next show i went last and and you went last on our show yeah it is hard to do crowd work last on a crowd that has already been asked like, you know, 30 questions by other comedians. So it does. It is an interesting thing.

And I have to say when I've done stand up and I'll have an opener who does crowd work, I do ask that they not do crowd work. Because when I go on, if I interact with the audience, I don't want to step on what they already said. if I interact with the audience, I don't want to step on what they already said. And I feel like it makes things a little messy if everyone's talking to the audience. That was like the whole premise of this show was like, so you're watching backstage and trying to remember

because you can't do material. Everyone has to do crowd work. And I will just quickly say that it was so humiliating because they were like, it's really good if you get someone up on stage or like you and so all i could think to do in the moment was there was someone with a lot of tattoos and i was like guys guys i'm gonna get a tattoo and we can all decide what the tattoo

is gonna be and then i swear to god i'll get it and everyone's face was like oh we don't really want you to do that like we don't want you to do that and then i was like okay i want to get this guy i want to get your name on me, sir. And then I got him to come up and write his name on me. And still everyone's face was just like, don't do this. Don't get this tattoo. And I was going, guys, I swear, I'm gonna get it tomorrow. You're a tattoo artist. I'm gonna get right next to my oatmeal tattoo. Yes. And everyone was just horrified. And I was just forcing them to force me to get a tattoo and it was just funny probably because it was a Canadian audience as well and they were like oh no don't do that to

yourself you don't you don't need to do that we're okay don't desecrate your body yeah that was the vibe oh god but you did great you were amazing fortune it was fun well i honestly i do think the lineup makes a difference because my second time at the next show i did not do as well okay well it's always nice to hear yeah but when you do less well just uh but yeah little rel was uh asking about pizza now i feel like he might be biased because he is from Chicago. He's very proud of this fact. Okay. Just to clarify, because I've never been to Chicago.

We're talking thin crust New York. I've never been. So Chicago is thick, deep dish. Chicago is thick, deep dish. Gino's is a big one there. Lou, what is it? Lou Monty's a big one there. Lou, what's it? Lou Monty's or something like that. Lou Reed?

Is it Lou Reed who works there? Is it Lou Reed who makes pizza popular? Malnati's? Something like that, yeah. And they're hardcore about it. Yeah. It comes in like a deep dish and there's crust. There's tracks.

There's this much. You you guys are you good with um how much is that two to three inches here three inches there's about that much of the filling so it's the sauce and you have my attention pepperoni and the cheese it's all like a it's like a pie almost i'm gonna go new New York. New York is thin. Yeah. That, what you just described, I mean, I've certainly had some version of deep dish pizza. I've been to Chicago many times, but I am not somebody, I love pizza. I didn't always. My father worked at a pizza restaurant when I was a kid and he was the assistant manager. And we got a lot of pizza

and played a lot of Pac Man. But I didn't like pizza then when I had when I was able to swim in pizza. And then as I got older, I started to appreciate it. I worked in a pizza place. then as I got older, I started to appreciate it. I worked in a pizza place. I did two later. You did as well? Twins. Yeah, we are twins. It's very hot. The ovens are so hot. I worked from 6pm till 4am for about six months when I was 16. I just got kicked out and I needed cash and it was like the graveyard shift and it was hell. the bars would close at like 2 30 in the morning and people would stream in and we had this vegan pizza actually i don't know if i i don't think i can tell this story i do not come across well in it let's hear it okay take in particular this might change our relationship but keep in mind i was 16 oh wait did you tell us this you

you put something not vegan on there? Yeah, I put bacon fat on the vegan pizza, just as my own little victory against the people because I was so mad. They were so rude all the time. And I watched them. Yeah. And I watched them come in and they ate that pizza and they loved they were like, this is incredible. And I and I thought, what have I become? Yeah. And I had all burns on my arms from the ovens. Well, that was God. That was karma. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It wasn't karma. It was God. It was flat out God. It was flat out God. See, when I worked at the pizza restaurant, and just to go back, how dare you, Mae? Yeah, that's fair. You could have just directly said, you're being rude. I know. I know.

I know. It really, it was a dark moment in my personality. You were going through a lot at that time, obviously. No excuse. No excuse. Very Machiavellian. When I worked at the pizza restaurant, I had this little group of rock and roll buddies

that were just my BFFs, just all the long haired dudes and the smokers and all in a band. And we all worked at this pizza restaurant together. And the most awesome part of that job was delivering pizzas. And I say to this day, if I had to do another job, it would be delivering pizza because you get to leave work. Yeah. Number one. I would like that. Number two, you get to listen to your music in your car. Yeah. Number three, your car smells like pizza. Yeah. Number four, cold hard cash in your little paw after you deliver. Yeah. Yeah. That actually does sound like an awesome job exactly i loved it did you wear a uniform no no this is like rock and roll pizza joint you know um that actress jennifer tilly yes oh my god

an actor that you know that's amazing she was in bound yes yes okay well i just was such a great movie so good so i picture jennifer tilly with her sexy voice like answering the door and her lingerie with a cigarette and you're there delivering the pizza it's very it's perfect i never delivered pizza where is she these days jennifer tilly she's almost a professional poker player or maybe she is professional she plays a lot and she's in stuff she's in like the chucky tv show and also she was in that inbound with um gina gershon okay i when this is tmi give it to us which by the way tmi bothers me because it's too little information always you're giving initials tmi what does that stand for? It's too much information. Okay, this gets into kind of intimacy stuff. When I was like in 2013, I was really into this woman. And I had been very ill. And we had started hanging out before I had gotten my cancer diagnosis.

And then I had just been coming through my other health stuff. And then, boom, I get my cancer diagnosis right in the middle of hanging out with her. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Oh, now I have to tell her I have cancer. Oh, man. And so I go through all of my surgery and my treatment and everything. I come out and then I'm she and I are living in New York. Both have jobs. We've lived in LA, but we happen to be moving to New York at the same time. It was like really crazy. Yeah. And she's really good friends

with Gina Gershon. Oh, shit. She was house sitting. She was house sitting? She was house sitting for Gina, who had this incredible apartment right on the river. And it's just the dreamy situation that where you just, it's just all glass windows looking over the water in Manhattan. It was insane. And the first time that like we really hooked up was at Gina Gershon's apartment. A whole layer of hotness just knowing that Gina Gershon has also hooked up in that apartment. Exactly.

And Fortune, you think you know who this person is? Uh-huh. Oh, who is it? Well, I don't want to say on the podcast. Well, we can bleep it. I think it's ***. Oh, yes, yes. Okay, I guess't want to say on the podcast. Well, we can bleep it. I think it was ****. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah.

Okay, I guess to Google that person. That's so fun. I only know because you and I had a dinner with a mutual friend around that time. Yeah, yeah. So you're going New York, Tig. I've never been to Chicago, but I'm kind of drawn to what you described, Fortune. But also pizza is sort of the reason that my marriage didn't happen when I was engaged. What?

Yeah. Like, I don't really like pizza. Not to be. I feel like this episode, I'm like, Taylor Swift, pizza, the most popular things in the world. That's okay. No, but you like a huge pot of pizza? Because I've grown. Because I don't love all the bread.

Anyway, this was like a well-known fact about me among my peers. You know, that pizza is not my fave. And then I was living in the UK and my fiance was living in Canada and she was kind of planning the wedding like it got quite far the invitations had gone out and we were talking on the phone and she was like yeah I booked this set there I mean there were other problems this wasn't the only the only thing but she was like I booked a pizza restaurant for our after party you know after we signed the papers and we'll all just go to this and i was like well i that's like the one thing i don't i don't like pizza and she's like yeah but everyone

else does and it'll be easy and i was like oh no i just was thinking about the smell of the pizza and how i what would i eat and i was like i guess i could get the whole place would smell delicious but i was like i should get like delivery sushi that I can eat in the bathroom oh my god hilarious I know there was sushi there yeah and I thought this is a this is a sign oh that you you guys were too far apart in your interest yeah it was all kind of like this it was a moving train that I felt like I wasn't a part of but that was also my fault but you've started liking pizza now do you like thin crust or you're just like it's fine but what fortune's described is a big pan of pizza that's a lot that's a heavy dish a dish i think it's that i want to be someone who wants the deep dish because i'm trying to start

being so neurotic about like the deep about like grease yeah i want the deep dish i sound like uh hannah what's his name with the it puts the lotion on its skin oh yeah hannibal lecter no uh buffalo bill buffalo bill yeah now may you said you pointed out two things the bread and the grease yeah are you somebody where you typically you try to avoid grease and and bread like are you a low carb person not anymore you know growing up I was I had such bad skin it's it's just like a skin thing and I remember my mom really drilling into me like oil is bad and grease and stuff which really that's not it's more sugar and stuff that causes but and dairy yeah totally but I was like oh god and then i remember i heard miley cyrus say something about her skin got better when she stopped eating bread but then like a couple years ago i thought this is

all bullshit and now i eat quite a lot of bread and i feel great yeah so i'm trying it but i still have like the hang-up in me of like yeah you know and i guess i feel sluggish if i eat like a ton of yeah a ton of wheat but is this boring this's a better like winter food, I think, like when it's cold outside. Oh, pizza in the morning when you're hungover. I know that's a cliche, but like cold pizza, really good. I used to hate pizza. I did not like it growing up.

My mom said she ate a lot of pizza when she was pregnant with me. And so as a kid, they would always want to go get pizza. And I was like, oh, gross, I hate pizza. Which is weird, because I seem like someone that would have been like a diehard pizza from day one. But most of the options back then were like Pizza Hut, Domino's. Yeah. There weren't a lot of like wood fired pizza situations.

Did you have Mr. Gaddy's? No. That's Mr. Gaddy's. That's where my father worked in Mississippi. Oh, yeah. Who was Mr. Gaddy himself? No. That's Mr. Gaddy's. That's where my father worked in Mississippi. Oh, yeah? Who was Mr. Gaddy himself? I don't know. Very famous man.

My father, he and Mr. Gaddy's pizza, they were tight. Pizza makes me think of like a kid's birthday party at a bowling alley. Yeah. Those are good memories. It wasn't good back then. It was just very doughy big fatty pizza and and i wasn't really into it and now that i'm older and there's all these wood fired situation i love that so i think that would be the closest thing to new york because like the less crust i

like it super thin a little crunchy and i even like i I'm more into the like goat cheese or caramelized onions, like that kind of situation. Hello, somebody is a fancy and handsome. You know what they do in Colorado? What's that? A lot of places in the mountains, pizza places that you go to, they have honey on the table. And so you eat your pizza, you hold onto your crust. And then at the end, like a dessert, you just you pour honey on the crust. I like the sound. I think part of the fun is when there's a little bit of cheese, still kind of the salty and sweet. Yes. In my vegan days, I'm now obviously vegan cheese, and I've substituted maple syrup. Oh, yeah.

I don't eat honey. Yeah, salty and sweet. I once dated a girl who put maple syrup on bacon and then cooked it. It was really good. But I'm having a vision right now of the deep dish pizza. So you're taking the dish, which, what is it, a metal dish? For the deep dish, it's more like a pan. A pan, yeah.

A pan. So taking that and then putting it in the snow for like an hour. Or a fridge, actually. A fridge makes more sense. No, definitely put it in the snow. You carry it up a snow-covered mountain. Yeah. I like the image of that more.

In the snow, and then it gets all cold, and, like, all that cheese in the deep dish gets solid, and you can cut it with a knife like it's a cake almost. I guess I like that. I think I'm intimidated by it being so messy. Yeah, that's definitely, like, a heavy—that's a heavy food. That's for people who are into, like, pot pies and stuff. Oh, I like a pot pie. Chicken pot pie, yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to go New York for myself. You york for myself you're going to so we're all being okay i'm gonna go chicago mainly to endear myself to lil rel because i know that well i think he's gonna be i'm interested well i want to say real quick tig one of my favorite you know frozen pizzas that you just pop in the oven at home it's the dia pizza the vegan dia pizza one of my favorite pizzas from the frozen food section that is surprising i do the plain cheese one no nothing else on it sure and then i bring it when i pop it in my oven i put some pineapple on it which is a whole other argument. Some people hate pineapple on pizza. That upsets, that upsets a bunch. That's Canadian.

But I like the diet pizza because the crust is really crunchy and the cheese tastes good. So we'll have on Fridays at our house. We've had like, you know, pizza night. And we we have these little frozen pizzas that Max and Finn really enjoy. And I have this special concoction that I've put together that I'll have to give both of you. Did I give it to you? No, I'm I thought you're saying Oh, yeah, Did I give it to you? No, I thought you're saying, Oh, yeah, you've given it to me. No, I'm amazed at the idea of you making a concoction. Yeah, I love it. Well, I started when we became vegan years ago, I was that typical person that was so scared of the diet, like, how do you get your protein? How do you get your all of those things that you really don't need to worry about, but you think you have to?

I mean, you have to worry about it if you're only eating like a loaf of bread every day. Of course, you're going to be deficient. But I came up with this concoction that has all sorts of, I'm not going to give you the ingredients because honestly, I would love, my plan is to start a little business. Really? But when I go to people's houses for dinner or parties, I always bring this mix. And I call, you know, to come back to the word dyke, I call it dyke dust.

And it goes on everything that's savory, whether it's pasta, pizza, soup, salads, burritos, whatever it is. And it just is so nutrient dense. Oh, really? And it's so delicious. And people like Sarah Silverman and other friends are like, I'm low on dike dust. I got to get some more dike dust. I would love some dike dust because I am very nutrient deficient. Okay. You got to start this company.

Yeah, I have to change the name because if I can name drop. I took it to Jennifer Aniston's house once and she was like, I love this. I love this. But how would somebody like me possibly say dyke dust or order dyke dust it's not you know it's hard for us to order these kinds of things you tell her it will turn her gay well that that's the whole plan as i'm going house to house party to party just turning everyone gay with his dyke does you're like it's nutrients okay dyke dust

yeah you got to think of a good name we'll help you think of a good name at some point but i'll get you jars of the dyke dust but i'm telling you everybody love oh you know it's it's so good on avocado toast oh it's so good i need a jar of this tig okay well i'm allergic to um coconut am i safe i know you are kid i keep mentioning it every episode i get it in there down for the count a couple weeks ago because you are hello my name is may martin and i am allergic to coconut and i am the same with I'm vegan. I'm Tig Notaro and I am vegan. Yeah. Fortune, what are you? I'm Fortune Feimster. I am Fortune Feimster and I'm depleted of nutrients. Well, I'll get everybody. Have you had dyke dust, Thomas? I don't think so.

No, I haven't given it. Thomas needs it too. Oh, I'm surprised. Okay. I'll get everybody a jar of dyke dust and you tell me if it is absolutely delicious. Maybe our listeners can bid on a jar of Dyke Dust. Yes. Well, my point of bringing it up is... No, wait, that's not like a cool thing. This is like an eBay account. Not even for charity, just for us. My point of bringing up Dyke Dust is we put that on pizza on friday pizza night when you

describe some of the things your family does like friday night pizza night and stuff i i want to be it makes me realize that i'm yearning for that experience and it's almost almost to the point where it's unpleasant where i'm like i want to be in your family it's like it sounds so fun well you're more than welcome to have a lovely family I'd love to come over yeah fortunes hung out with my kids in Vegas baby yeah where you party with most kids who farted I got the sports stats for the day of course well should we hear what Lil Rel had to say? Yeah. Let's hear it.

As a guy from Chicago, Illinois, is Chicago all day. New York sell very flat pizzas and the meat is flat and that's stupid. That's it. And that's stupid. Stupid flat meat. Lil Rel's always Chicago. He's diehard Chicago. So that does not surprise me one bit.

But isn't, like, pepperoni's famously flat, right? Like, how could it not be flat? You have a point, Mae. That is true, Mae. Although I like a chicken pizza. I like chicken and broccoli on a pizza. Oh, like a topping. Yeah, yeah.

Wow, flat meat. Yeah, I like it with a lot of the stuff on it. People put a lot of the toppings. I'm not as big into the meat on pizza, but I love the veggies on pizza. Wow, fortune eating vegan pizza and loving veggies. Sounds like we could lure you over to the vegan world. You never know. I have a feeling.

I could easily be lured to this new lease on life I have of like, yeah, I'm learning to drive. I'm like, get me healthy. Yeah. Let's do it. Look at you. Yeah. As my mom says, you're turning over a new leaf.

Yeah. Is she the only one that says that? Yeah, her mother invented that and then told my mother, who also said it. And then my mother told everyone else. There you go. Well, amazing. Well, thank you, Laurel, for your question. Was it really that amazing?

I thought so. Just talking with y'all. It's amazing to me. It's always amazing. I'm kidding that he i thought you were saying that's amazing that he chose his city that's amazing i do throw that word around a lot awesome and amazing so yeah rad dude my sons have started calling everybody bro and dude. You'll hear them wrestling and they'll be like,

bro, you hit me in the nuts. Oh my God. That's so good. Fortune. Do you have any things coming up you want to promote? I sure do have some things to tell you guys about. I'll be in Evansville,

Indiana, Dayton, Ohio and Charleston, West Virginia. And then after Thanksgiving, Grand Rapids and Royal Oak, Michigan, Kansas City, Louisville, Kentucky, St. Petersburg, Florida, Orlando, West Palm Beach, Chicago. And then we have a bunch of new dates being announced like New York City and all that good stuff. Go to fortunefeimster.com for tickets. In general, as always, you can stream Feel Good on Netflix if you're bored and you want to watch something. My stand-up special Sap is on Netflix and my book Can Everyone Please Calm Down is

available to buy online. I am going on my European tour, October 26, London. And then I'm back in the States, October 28, La Crosse, Wisconsin. Then I am going to be recording my next stand up special in Brooklyn, November 4. All right. Well, thanks for listening to Handsome and thanks to Lil Rel Howry for his question. Guys, keep it handsome. Yeah. Keep it handsome. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro,

and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod.