Handsome - Lizzy Caplan asks about first impressions

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

Lizzy Caplan (Masters of Sex, Party Down) asks Handsome about making a first impression! Plus meeting Tom Cruise, a recap of the Zootopia premiere that you *cannot miss* (although Tig might), Fortune realizing she's a star, and more! Also, we have a live-streaming show Dec 22, get your tickets!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking that you put your sparkling water in the fridge after you got home from the grocery store. I really don't enjoy a room temperature sparkling water. But is my only option now if I want some bubbles. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American insurance, company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Shipped makes the holiday season more joyful by helping you save time with same-day delivery on everything you need. Groceries, decor, gifts, and so much more from your favorite local and national stores like Albertsons, Michael's, Target, and PetSmart. Shipped is essential for the ingredients and groceries you need for the holidays,

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Oh, ho, ho. Hey, Hansoms. Just a heads up that for your best chance of getting handsome merch in time for Christmas, you should order by December 12th. Write it down, December 12th. So go to HandsomePod.com and get your order in by December 12th. That's handsomepod.com. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Welcome to the handsome pod. Welcome to you. I mean, listen, welcome, but also May, I just got a glimpse of that profile of yours.

That is good looking. I mean, I've seen it before, but I'm usually looking at you straight on on Zoom. This is my better side. I can tell. I've seen the other one and not pretty. Or handsome. Thank you. No, look that way.

I just look at that. Thanks. Oh, I was looking at it. What am I? Oh, that is a good profile, man. Well, my hair only works from that side. It doesn't, I don't know if you have this problem, because it's like gentle. Do we have the same?

Yeah. Oh, no, yours works from both sides. Anyway. You have more of a side flip and you have the forward. The forward. My hair is more fluid than yours. Yeah, mine's pretty rigid. Yeah.

It's pretty solid. It's binary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's binary hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You both look gorgeous. Oh, thanks. And we're a very attractive podcast.

we are also every time we're in person and then the episode comes out someone comments like oh their chemistry's electric when they're in person that's right i love it i feel it i feel it's electric right now we we sat close to each other before we even taped and i got kisses from each of you well only because you were reaching to hold my hand well true yeah your hand's cold as ice well i'm i'm uh put it in your cooter and warm it up Fortune. Why are we starting like this? Why?

I'm sorry. It's the end of the day, for those of y'all who don't know, which is all of you. 5 p.m. It's raining outside. It's dark. 5 p.m. is the end of the day. What a luxurious life you have. It gets dark outside.

What else is there? Oh, it's dark. I got to go home and get to bed. I got a couple of night. The sun's down. Put on my nightgown, just like you do. Our old neighbors, or neighbor, it was just one woman. And her name was Yoko.

Yeah, and she lived next door to us. And she, this is terrible. She died in her house. But listen, she. Spoiler. Yeah, she was older. She was older. But anyway.

Oh, Yoko. She just, she wouldn't turn anything. lights on she really like the Amish like she was going to sun down it's bedtime yeah it was died it was oh you didn't turn the light on because she felled on I would only assume she was like had a little candle a little candle yeah but so she was up at the crack of dawn and then bed always always sweeping her walkway up to her door yeah always that thing was sparkly clear yeah maybe it was like meditative for her. We'll never know.

We'll never know. For sure, never know the answer to that. Well, it's good to be with y'all in person. I took my shoes off. I feel really cozy. You made it very comfortable around here. I still have my shoes on. Yeah.

Me too. Can I, I'm sorry, I just have to check. I have to make sure that this isn't Stephanie's sick. And so I have to like make sure that there isn't anything that is needed. It feels like a prank. It feels like when you're on Conan. and you checked your phone. Yeah.

Also, every time TIG puts her glasses on, I think she's going to take an eye out because it's like this flip motion. And always there's one, yeah, it's cool. And I always think we're just going to take one out. Yes. Those glasses made me think of something that happened to me this weekend.

Well, let's hear about it. I'm going to tell you. I have this, there's not a lot of things that I have that are expensive. I'm not that kind of gal. But I did happen to have an expensive pair of sunglasses. Like what are we talking? Oliver people's I don't know it's the type of sunglasses

like $500 But that is unusual for me I don't spend that kind of money on anything Yeah But I happen to get these And I had them What made you go? I'm going to go ahead and drop 500 bucks

I think I got a discount on them So I didn't pay it With your cheesecake factory I'm a cheesecake factory Posit card I think I got them at like 30% off Okay good for you helpful. Yeah, of course. It's hard to find a pair that's perfect. And I love these because they're

lightweight. They're super lightweight because I don't like the feeling of glasses on me, but my eyes are getting squinnier as I'm getting older and I need to wear sunglasses and I had them on and they were on my head and I don't know if for any reason I put them in my lap and I was scrolling through my phone and I wanted to show, I was showing somebody something and I bent over and my body crushed these glasses into like four parts. No,

just snapped them like a cracker. Both lenses came out a bit. There's like one I'm like they are done. Did you take a picture of what you had left on your, and put it on your face? No, I have, I was just a frame with one of the things

hanging out. Just from my big old body just annihilated these sunglasses. You don't have of sunglasses insurance. I sure don't. I sure don't. You will rethink that in the future. I will rethink that.

Would you ever insure a part of your body? Oh. You know, people, you know. Oh, God. Wait, what I'm going to insure on this body. Like, you know, Tina Turner insured her legs. Yeah, her gams. Yeah.

Well, I can see because those are gorgeous gams. You're right. Now that you, you're right. I just, I guess I don't show them off. like Tina did in his short skirts. Kind of do though and towels and such. Yeah. Yeah. How do you do that?

You just call like Allstate and they're like, hey, you get an insurance quote. And they're like, let me see your leg. Well, you are in good hands. Yeah, you check them first, because that's smart. Yeah, you check Allstate's first. Right. Northbrook, Illinois.

Yeah. So wait, can we get, I'm just, I can't relax until. Get to the good stuff. What's the good stuff? I need to hear about who you met that I, whenever I'm asked the question, who would you meet? Who would you have at a dinner party? This person's my answer just because it's like another species of person almost. So can we please talk about it?

I don't want to blow, I don't want to, I want to let you reveal. One say that this is, look at your little excited foot. My foot is flexed. Like it was, it's actually. Just give me the goods. Give me the goods. Twinkle toes over there. Please.

Would one say this is your doppelganger? Yeah, one would. Yes. T.C. T.C. Tom Cruz. I met Tom Cruise. I met him.

How did this happen? Well, this is what's so wild is to really think back the reason I was at the Governor Awards, which I didn't even know what it was or where I was going. The Governor. Award Govna. I got in the car with one of the producers of come see me in the good light. Jessica, we get in the car. So she came for, she got me. She was in the car and the car picks me up and I get in.

I was like, so where, what is this? Where are we going? And she was like, well, it's just, it's like they give these honorary Oscars to different people. It's Dolly Parton. Oh, my, golly. Was she there? She wasn't. She made a video.

And it was Debbie Allen, Tom Cruise, and then this, oh, my God, his name is Wynn something. He's a, what is it, when they? A magician. No. Anybody else want to guess? Is this a mime? No. Swimmer, Olympic swimmer, you know?

A zylophone player. Yes. And he was, no, he's like a set designer. Oh, yeah, yes. Oh, I would not have gone. No. Oh, you didn't get that from that? No, no, no, no.

No, no. Yeah. This, I'll get to Tom in a second, but this man wins something. Thomas, can you look up this man's name who won, who got this award? Of course, I haven't heard of him. Yeah. It's not like household names that do this job. This was the single most precious human being I've seen in my life.

He's like probably 60s, maybe early 70s. How old is he? Thomas. He was his story that he shared. It was so, he was the first black man to be hired in that world. Oh, wow. And he's accepted into the academy in that whole world. Yes, Thomas? Win Thomas. Oh, Thomas. Oh, there you go. Thank you. And he worked on do the right thing, Malcolm Acts, a beautiful mind and hidden figures. Amazing. Wow. I mean, I could have listened to him talk forever. I, I can't encourage people enough.

Just look up his face. If there is a video of him talking, just the sweetest man alive. Oh, I love that. Oh, my gosh. Loved it. Anyway, so afterward, you didn't know that Tom was going to be there. No, I knew he was going to be there. I just didn't understand what the governor awards.

Right. Like, did you know what they were? Uh-uh. No, yeah. And so it is every massive actor and, director and everybody that's like vying for an Oscar yeah you know and it's it's it's just a kind of a stop for that whole world yeah and you know who knows what will happen with my documentary but it's in that discussion that's amazing dude and um Tom Cruz gets his award and then well I didn't

expect this but he was just off of the stage and out and about in the in the audience Hanging out. Just like a normal, like walking around? He was looking to do a Cupid shovel on the dance floor, choshaw slide. But let's be honest, hanging out meant after the awards, he appeared on the floor like everybody else at their tables and stuff. And he was surrounded by reps and security and people wanting to talk to him and like that whole scene. Okay.

So I'm, like, thinking, well, this is the one and only time I'm going to be in the same room as Tom Cruise. You don't get starstruck, but you can't help but be adrenalized when you see it. I wasn't even starstruck. I was just like, there's Tom Cruise. I'm going over there and I'm going to meet that guy. And I told Jessica, the producer of the film, I was like, you follow me. And you get one in every photo. Even if I can't talk to him, you get the closest photo. You get the closest. She was shouting out. Yeah, of me just trying to get in there. Yeah, yeah.

Because I was like, I'm going for it. I don't care at all. Yeah. And so she was dying laughing. I love to see some security guard pick you up. But that's what was crazy is it's not open to the public. So the security wasn't like really intense or anything, just people were standing around. And I know his agent, her name is actually Maha, and I saw her standing there.

her standing there next to him. And I was, I mean, I was elbowing my way through the crowd. And just, I pulled up the picture of me, which we'll have to post on handsome, but I pulled up the picture of me that everybody is always like, I mean, that's more Tom Cruise than Tom Cruise. And so I pull it up. And then, and so I got up to Mahat and I said, I said, hey, can I, can I, I, just show Tom this picture and just let him know that if he's looking for a lesbian sister in any sort of a stunt double and and then she was like oh yeah um Tom a comedian tignotaro and he turned he's like hey how's it going and I said good I said I just wanted to show you this picture I said if I said that's me by the way that's not you and I said so if you ever need a lesbian

sibling in any of your action films that's right and so he he was looking at it he was laughing so hard of course he was not as hard as jess my um my producer she was like doubled over crying because i i wish you could have seen the rounds of people i had that i had no i just like i was like i'm going i'm like getting in there picture with tom Cruz. I have so many follow questions. And you have to understand, Tom Cruz is, this was partly what was pushing me. That's Stephanie's favorite actor. She loves him and she thinks he's so handsome. And I, we always joke that she married the DIY lesbian version. And so I was like, if I can get a picture of the two loves of her life together. And so she was home and I walked

in. She was like, oh, how was the night? And I said, good. how's about that? And she was like, oh my God. Oh, my God. Okay, wait, did he know who you were, pretend to know who were? Oh, I doubt it. Okay, but he's smiling at you.

He was just like, hey, how's it going? You know, and because his agent introduced us, so he was just... Because everyone says he's just magnetic and so warm, and he'll know your name... But so am I. Yeah, of course, true. That's what everyone says.

Fuck, I can't believe it happened And the picture is incredible You do have the same smile So do you think Maha can get him to ask a question A little handsome pot He's like jumping off of a plane Asking us a question He'd be like listen to me handsoms

That would be pretty epic If he would jump off a plane and ask us a question I bet he I'll get it to have He's like with his cheating There's always a moment in his movies where he's doing some stunt, but he has to deliver a line. And so he's yelling over like a jet engine and his voice goes really high. There's one, well, first there's red light, great light, in Mission Impossible One. Then there's, I'm not going to lose you in Mission Impossible 3.

I can think of them all, I think. There's always a line where he goes super high. He goes high. Well, they did, they showed like, you know, a little thing of like all of the highlights of his career and stuff. And I was truly, there's this one moment on that reel where he's holding onto a plane. Yeah, side of a plane. And it's taking off. Dead reckoning, I think.

Wow, y'all are, you know, so real fans over here. I mean, y'all keep it in your pants. Here's the thing. I'm sure he's problematic in some ways, but to me, he is just one of the last movie stars like that. Where when he cries, I cry. When I feel everything that he's feeling. like Jerry McGuire it's insane he hasn't won an Oscar yet I'm glad he got honored is that bad to say

because he got an honor he asked for what just his contribution well you're just star struggle or no one so it's no I get I um well musicians you get I don't feel nervous like I'm not like oh my God there's Tom Cruise like I totally appreciate him but I don't feel I don't know I just talked about him for so long that it was a cool like finally oh this is going to be so funny and awesome and like I just I don't know it's so good yeah it was fun it like we can never get jaded like because that is insane to meet Tom Cruise and get a picture with him

it's so good like that should be insane to anyone and what's really funny is 10 billion people have had pictures with him but it seems so hard to come across yeah he's a harder one to me for sure he's hard It's like a Paul McCartney or an Obama. Like, it's that level where you want the picture. They're not just hanging out of the in and out. No, they are not. And they'd like you to think they are, though. Have you seen the clip where they go, Tom, what's your favorite snack?

And it's like his brain short circuits. Like, he's never had a snack. He's like, oh, ha-ha. Popcorn. Popcorn's great. Is that a small meal between the meals? You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on Carpourge.

insurance. You know, it's not smart, not checking that you still have a way to play those old vinyl records you found in your garage. Your musical taste is unchanged from years ago, so it's time to get a record player and bring on the nostalgia. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. The holidays are here, and that means cozy mornings, busy days, and festive nights. All that adds up to a lot of outfits to pull together.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think I did see pictures of him on the dance floor. I saw those too. So he was, like, in it to have a good ass time. But for someone like him, that probably was a very big, meaningful night, because he has been doing movies for so long. Yeah, that's true.

To finally get an Oscar, he should have had a best supporting actor for Magnolia. There's so many performances he should have been nominated. Well, I mean, it is wild. When you're watching that reel and then you, and like thinking about everything that you hear about his incredible work ethic. Yeah, just everything. Like the director that was introducing him was talking about how, which of course I know of actors that know a script start to finish. forward backwards but the director is like Tom knows like everyone's lines not just everyone's line but like he's like hey aren't I supposed to be picking up a you know like some sort of

stage direction and um and he was like you know he said I don't even know my movie that well he's definitely getting sort of I mean he's increasingly eccentric but he uh he's his new thing is kind of being like I don't just make movies I am movies like his is this is I think it's like movies are my... So how is he getting increasingly... I think he's always been a bit of a hotball and then he went through a phase of real eccentricity with Scientology where he was really like jumping on sofas and stuff.

He just keeps making amazing movies and then he... But just recently his angle is I'm Mr. Movies and I like it. But I would love to meet the guy. I was excited because we went to Zootopia 2 premiere. That's right. Yes, we did. We had the premiere. All three of us out in the wild.

I know, we all in our little suits. I was so proud of you, dude. You steal the movie. You're so funny in it. So great. I texted Fortune saying Max and Finn, hearing them say to each other, Hey, bub.

Hey, bub, hey bub, hey bub, hey bub, hey bub, hey bub. Yeah, it's really, the movie's so funny. But I, Macaulay Culkin was there, and that's huge for me, because people say I look like a child, McCauley Culkin. I didn't get to meet anyone at that premiere. They had me on the red carpet the whole time. Oh, man. And then I was like whisked back to the backstage and then, and then off into a corner.

Yeah. And so I didn't get to like. Why did they put baby in a corner? Yeah. Because they had all the voice, the voice cast together on the stage. Everyone's chatting and stuff. And then they had the four, they had the, they put us in the corners to come out from the side. So you didn't get to meet anybody.

Anyone. I just told you. you guys and that was it besides like kiwi kwan and jennifer good one uh-huh i said hey uh i'm made by the way to macaulay colkin and he went hi i'm mac and i shook his hand and i thought i can die a little bit happier like just i mean so is it him and alanus that are your um him alanus paul mccartney robert plant and um david Gilmore the rose bat midler oh i would love to be betmdler yeah like the big ones Well, the classic thing that happened at the premiere is a TIG moment here. Well, first of all, they were acting, like, on the red carpet, people were like,

what was your favorite memory of making this movie? And I literally have five words. I have five words. I'm like, I think my favorite memory was probably recording my line. I was alone in a sound booth. But then we were so, well, I was so excited for the big moment. And then I could. see it was coming plot-wise because I knew we were in the prison scene and then I see

TIG get up and leave with one of the boys to go to the bathroom and I thought uh-oh and then almost as soon as you left I saw you get up and leave and I knew I thought oh my god why didn't you chase me down I think I did go TIG so TIG missed her entire part going to the bathroom my son had to go to the bathroom I can't just let him roam around with all these weird cartoon characters. It's just the timing of it. I know. It was really funny.

It's classic. And you got back and Stephanie was like, oh. Yes, I got back to the stage. She was like, you missed your part. And I was like, what? We were gone for like two or three minutes, max. Yeah, the exact two to three minutes. And then I walk in and done.

I did, y'all both disguised your voices a lot in the character. I did not. Should we do our scene? What, do you remember your line now? I just think I was like, I was like, something. Yeah, you're just like, I went, I'll see you at the lunch table.

I have no idea what I was saying. I don't remember, but it was so classic when I saw that you had not been in there for your part. You know what I? My whole family got dressed up, went to the premiere. My sons, they love getting dressed up. They had their little suit. They were so cute. I did really think watching it

and with kids in the audience like I wanted to make something for kids because they're the perfect audience like they laugh when is funny they're scared when it's scary they cry when it's sad like they just are so their emotions are so present

and it was so satisfying. I know I kept looking around to see like what different kids reactions were to the different characters and so. Well no spoilers but there's a character who you think is good and then is bad And I was with Parvin Amma, and Amma was scandalized by that.

Like, afterwards, it was like, did you know he was bad, that guy? And it was like, no, that was pretty tricky. It was like, well, he was acting really nice. It was a twist. What happens in real life. Yeah, seriously, yeah. People pull a switcheruny on it. It's such a fun movie.

Yeah. Yeah. Jennifer Goodwin was laughing at me because, you know, when you tape these voiceover things, they don't give you a script, you know, you just have your, scene yeah and so i knew i had like taped a lot for them for like over like the last year and a half yeah but i didn't know but they changed my job a lot so i would have to re-record quite a bit so i just didn't know like what my role in the movie was yeah and i didn't know like anything other than like oh this is a cool part yeah and i had to go to the screen i had to go

a screening by myself before press and I'm like watching the film and because there's a lot of parts of the end where my character is around but I'm not necessarily voicing it. Yeah. I'm just doing like grunts or like hmm and I like my character is like a main part of this movie

but I had no idea. That's amazing. And so I was just like oh my God yeah this is wild and like third billing or so you're like I think fourth but like um Yeah, when the title card came up And me and Key were behind Jason and Jennifer I was like, oh my God, this is crazy I'm like, May Martin level

I got like tears in my eyes I thought it was just so cool Because I grew up on Disney movies And I never thought a million years That I would be a beaver In a Disney movie It's the it is a I just watched the first one recently

and I really like the universe that they've made. And then did you meet Jody Benson on the red carpet, the voice of the original Ariel? She's in that movie? No, she's in the red carpet. Oh, oh, oh. And I got emotional meeting her because she, her voices, and she's like a true Disney princess where you know that they're good.

A true Disney princess? She's a true Disney princess because. None of those fake ones out there. Yeah, well, because instead of going, oh, nice to meet you, they go, I've been so excited to meet you. Like you're a kid, like they go, It's you. I can't, I've been so excited to me. I've watched her say to everybody and say to kids she'd never met and executives.

And everyone was like basking in her glow and she was magical. So even if she didn't know who you were. She was like, I've been so excited to meet you. I saw her say it to these little kids and they were like, she was waiting for us. Ariel. So nice. Did she do the voice and sing? Yeah.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Fortune. I forgot to tell you. What's up, girl? I forgot to tell you. When I was doing the red carpet. Yeah.

Doing my little pretty pictures and doing my interviews. The guy that I was talking to, he goes, he said, and TIG, I have to say, I loved, I loved you hosting Kimmel over the summer. And I was like, did you? I said, oh, that wasn't me. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said, you hosted a few episodes, a few. I was like, no, that's fortune. and people always get us confused.

We're always, always confused for each other. I was just like, wow. That's hilarious. One day we're going to find out what person who works on Zootopia just likes this podcast and put us in it. Yeah, do we have any knowledge? Yeah, the casting director. She was like, oh, really?

Because she said something like, May seems surprised. Like, May was like, Hansen's in it and she's like yeah that's my design right yeah I was like what a crazy coincidence we're all in this oh man it was it was it was on purpose yeah yeah that's so great oh it was a fun night it was a fun night it was great to see Max and Finn in their little suits as well great to see I didn't even get to see them yeah they were um it's funny because when they were getting dressed um Finn didn't like the outfit I had pulled for him uh-huh and he took it

up a notch to like a full black suit with a white button down. And, um, and I was like, I'm sorry. You know, I, I just had him in a casual blazer and, like, like, cords. But man, he was like, I don't want to wear that. Yeah. I want to wear. Yeah, he was going to Hollywood Boulevard. Yeah. Yeah. And then Max was like, I think we should do more of this stuff as a family. Oh, I was like, you know like putting on the rids out of there yeah yeah they had never been to a premiere oh that's cute yeah it was fun but it was fun to see your little buck teeth your crooked bug teeth um i'm sure as the character to clarify thanks for that laugh but i was just like are they doing that because you're from the south no because i'm a beaver i know but like it all like

you can be a beaver not from the south oh they made the character being southern i mean i can't not be from the south i know in my voice i know can you try um i i could try i guess to not have a southern accent can you do it without making that face no i can't your face just became like julia andrews i think that they probably wanted i mean the marsh market is sort of like buy you yeah yeah so i think they wanted that vibe well you nailed it kid oh thank yeah people were like did uh how did how did having those beaver teeth affect your voice and I was like I didn't even think about it oh yeah I just did my voice yeah well what are you going to do I don't know if I was I supposed to no way how the beaver teeth affect your one yeah here

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Free shipping and 365-day returns quince.com slash handsome. Well, should we get to our question? I think we should. Okay, let's do it. Today's question asker is an actor who has starred in shows such as Masters of Sex and Party Down, as well as movies including mean girls, the people we hate at the wedding, and the new movie, now you see me, now you don't.

Lizzie Kaplan is asking today's question. Woo-hoo. Yeah. Hi, I'm Lizzie Kaplan. And my question is, what is the worst, it's a two-parter, what is the worst first impression you've ever made, and what is the most incorrect first impression that you've gotten of somebody else

from somebody else. Oh. Wow. Lizzie. That's a really good question. Yeah, I love Lizzie. Doesn't she live in England, though? You know, I don't know her whereabouts.

I believe, I thought, I think so, but I could be wrong. Yeah. She was wearing a kind of Britishy sweater. It seemed kind of British. Is this British? That is British. That's British. I've got on my British coat.

This isn't. British no way this is a smoking jacket yeah cardigan um the incorrect first impressions is I mean we're probably doing that all the time projecting our own shit onto people and I was part of that therapy program I did I did I tell about that part where they said you if you had a bad reaction to someone in the group write it down because we were learning like that's my negative projection. Because then you'll have to say to each other. Then we had to say to their faith. Yeah. I remember that part. Okay, so I did talk about that right. Yeah. Were people, a couple people, so they didn't like you. Yeah, they said I was

dismissive and arrogant. Which you are, to be fair. Famously. Yeah. I was flabbergasted, but I guess the point of the exercise was like, we can't really control other people's experience all the time if they're, you know, yeah. They get to have their feelings. Yeah. did anything jump into your minds about I was just thinking I had a screening I was at a screening for the come see me in the good light documentary and a childhood friend of mine came and she was telling people at the um like I've known her since we were kids and she was like my mom was so scared of tick because like well just because like I was like I was was like, you know, like not doing well at school. And like I carried my cigarettes in my pocket up on my shirt and drove a motorcycle. And yeah. But my friend was like, but my mother didn't realize that like that was the extent of it.

Oh, that's so funny. It was like, oh, I wonder what takes doing. Yeah. Like there wasn't anything. You weren't running amok. No, like I wasn't, I was, it was really what you saw was what you got. and the cigarettes in this t-shirt and like i was a class clown i smoked cigarettes i drove a motorcycle and her mom was just like hard pass on this one and then she was saying and then when my book

came out um it's called i'm just a person it's a new york times best seller but anyway um when that came out my friend ashley she said and then my mom like sends me your book for christmas you know And she said, but, you know, as kids, we had, Ashley was saying, I had friends that were like identifying as Christians. And meanwhile, they were all doing drugs and getting trashed and sleeping with everyone. And I was just like, you're just listening to the Beatles. Yeah. Like, is Ashley home? You're like, she leans.

Yeah. So that was a bad first impression. Yeah. That lasted. Yeah. You know, I think I'm friendly. I never see Ashley's mother anymore, but I think she must be over it. Now, she's a fan.

She's buying your books. Well, she bought my book and sent it to Ashley. Yeah. But I think I had a lot of those parents that kind of were like, what's up with that one? Yeah, yeah. What's up with this dyke? Yeah. Riding in here trying to take our daughters out.

Yeah. Were you dating back then? No. No. With a greasy bowl haircut? I don't know. We saw that one photo of you. you and the stickers flew off the shelf yeah well I was 19 then oh what age are you talking about now I was

you know I was I don't know a few years younger than that so you hadn't come into your own yet I hadn't yeah I really hadn't what about you guys I'm sure you have a million bad impressions you've made both of you I had an interesting time when I lived in Spain for I lived in Spain for a year after I graduated college. And during that time, I didn't know many people in Spain. Really? One of my like making friends. It was very hard to make friends. And my my good friend from college was also in Sevilla at that same time. So we hung out a lot. But other than that, I was alone a ton. Yeah. And I was also traveling around Europe by myself. So I was constantly alone. And I didn't realize that it was really affecting my personality

whereas I was like really silly, I'm similar now to what I was in college like boisterous, silly ridiculous and in Spain I was pretty introverted pretty quiet and shy like it really brought my personality super down to just being very like

yeah I was like the wallflower and so when I moved I moved to L.A. But you said you kind of were a wallflower when you were younger too. Yeah, when I was pretty young. You were just like comfortable with your own company too where you were just in Spain by myself constantly, but I didn't realize how quiet I had become. Yeah.

And so when I moved to L.A., that personality came with me and it made it really hard for me to meet friends in L.A. in my first two years. People thought I was such a dork and had no personality. No one wanted to be my friend. I didn't imagine this. driving you as someone with no personality. I thought I had, well, because I kind of didn't. I was still being demure and like still being quiet.

And so I was just a different person and like no one wanted to be my friend. Yeah. And so I met this guy, Steve, who was working, I was working for this actress and he was working on her show. Yeah. And he was wearing a Carolina shirt. And I was like, oh my God, someone from North Carolina, it was like, I could breathe. Like, oh my God, there's some comfort here.

And I desperately wanted to be his friend, but my desperation was, like, oozing out of me, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the desperate stank. And he thought out a crush on him. No, yeah. Because you were like, yeah, because I was just, like, really wanted to be his friend. And so he was like, whoa, like, so he did not want to be my friend and, like, would not hang out with me. But I knew, I was like, we're supposed to be best friends, but you can't tell people that. or you're crazy.

But I just knew in my gut. I was like, this is supposed to be my best friend. But I don't know how to make him know that we're supposed to be best friends. And my personality is not great right now. So I have the, I gave him the, did you tell him all of that? Later, we laugh about it now. He's who became your roommate.

He's became a roommate. Yes, yes, yes. So, um, so I have the worst impression of myself. Um, he just was not having it. Yeah. And then, so for months went by, not friends, did not hang out. But somehow we exchanged, remember the AOL Messenger thing? Well, you could leave, like, it was very popular at the time, and you could leave, like, away messages or whatever.

Wait, what are away messages? Like, when you were, like, idle, not, like, not there, but your computer stayed on. Okay. It would say, like, so-and-so's offline, but it would have, like, a message, like. But I'll be back after I go to the bathroom. ever yeah perfect it'll take me about 15 minutes i'll explain later exactly see you would have crushed rotten chicken i had his aOL thing and my roommate was moving back home and his roommate was leaving and he put on his messenger that he needed a roommate and i was like this is my end oh my god and he's

like damn yeah he was like the dork wants to move in and i'm just like i need a roommate I was and But he's so nice that he didn't, like, know what to say. So he just kind of was like, all right. And then, of course, I moved in. But once I had a friend, my personality started to come back. And then I ended up being his most fun friend he's ever had in his entire life. No. Do you bring it up a lot where you're like, you thought I was lame.

And he thought I was lame. And he thought I had a crush on him. That's the best. I wasn't out technically at the time. So, I mean, I guess, you know, it was unclear. clear but unqueer unqueer

but yeah he definitely everyone that met me in that first especially a year in L.A. thought I was the biggest door

forgettable yeah like this girl is gonna go pack it back up to North Carolina that's so funny I'm trying to think

I mean all through I mean it just I think a lot of parents and my friends and my teens are probably right like this is such a pretentious little idiot and then god that sounded too real when i said that oh because i was like yeah i'm not really into new music like i was like i was literally reading jack carrowack

like i was such a cliche and like writing in my little notebook and just like so tortured and but i'm thinking about that's all gone away the torture yeah of course now i'm you grew out of that I literally go home and reject her. I can write my notebook and write sad poems. No, I'm still in it. I'm thinking of, I don't know if I've talked about on the pod before because I sort of don't, but that my uncle married the Queen of England's niece.

So I was eight. Royalty. Yes, I mean. We were just to bury the way. He's up. But it's so crazy because it says on my Wikipedia, page that I'm like related to the queen but this is I swear I'm not a nepo baby like this was so random and so far from our family and my uncle uh was an actor and a painter and then met this

woman and she goes I'm princess Margaret's daughter and then they're an amazing couple anyway oh Princess Margaret I went to the that one that princess so I go to the wedding royalty is speaking no I swear I'm not there's no you're going to convince us. Royalty. I mean, look at the boots on the floor. It is, yeah, my feet, my, royal boots right there. It's so far from.

Is he alive? Yeah, I have an uncle and aunt and cousins and stuff. And when I lived in England, I would see them. They're awesome. They're like, they're painters and they live in a normal house. But it is bizarre. And is she, because she is in the royal family, right? Yeah.

And my cousins are like in line to the throne, I guess. Oh, wow. But I don't like to talk about it because it may, It's because it's so not your life. It's so not my life. Not your, yeah. Where are you in line for the Trump? Like, because after everyone.

Love for you to be in that royal family. Would you still do this podcast if you were the king? I think that the in line to the throne thing should be connected to your IMDB rating. So would you have been number of degrees? I don't know. I don't know. 451. I'm way on.

You have dipped. Oh, shit. You have dipped. But, Thomas, will you look up, May's start every week before we were cool. 35? 35? Wow, it was very high. No.

I was one, guys. Yeah, but you don't understand. Not a month ago. Like 20 to like 900 like that. No, May is on the way out. I'm on the way. Who's career is done? Thomas, who's number one?

Fortune. 35 is, no, I'm like 950 or, no, I'm like 1,200. Jacob Allorty. Jacob Allerty. Yeah, that's fair. You were in rare-fied air, you royal. But wait, anyway, the end of this dumb story is that I'm eight years old and I was living in England and we got to go to the royal wedding, which was at the palace.

It was in a church and then it was at- Princess Diana's wedding? No, to my uncle's wedding. Oh, that wedding. And we were so excited. I got so stoked. May wasn't alive when Princess Diana got married. But you were there?

But anyways, everyone... Tell us everything. Tell us everything. And that's hilarious. I wasn't even born yet. May's like, I don't like to talk about it, but I was at Princess Sianna's. If you zoom in, you can see me, I'm one of the choir boys. So they had a royal wedding?

Yeah. And my grandma, this is like, imagine a British woman in your 60s at the time or whatever, and you get to go to the road. Like, she was so excited. And everyone was like, May, when you meet the queen, like, there'll be a, lineup and you have to curtsy and you have to say your your majesty and it was all this protocol and i was eight and i couldn't keep it straight in my head and and uh and that was my worst first impression i think is i panic they said oh and if anyone asked you about your handbag at a little purse they go say it's venetian i don't know what this i remember this it's like a weird dream

so prince charles comes up to me this what a lovely handbag and i went it's venetian and then is this the dream or this is real this is real this is real i swear A lovely handbag. It's Venetian. And I was so manic. Your legacy. It was so overwhelming the whole thing that my aunt had to tell me, you need to stop trying to follow me around and talk to me.

I have to talk to other people because she was like a celebrity. Like a bride is always the celebrity of the wedding. And all the photos, I'm literally just like hanging onto her dress. But anyway, I met the queen and I went for a handshake. Like you're supposed to. That's a big no-no, right? I couldn't do the curtsy and I just went, ma'am, May Martin. And what did she do?

She's so nice. Did she shake your hand, though? Yeah, she was like, hello. Oh, I guess with a child. Everyone was so nice to me. And then what would be more exciting to you, meeting the queen or Tom Cruise? I think you know the answer. T.C.

It's T.C. every day. I mean, it was thrilling, though, but over-stimulating. And then I was having driving lessons recently, and my driving instructor... Still. Oh, I'm taking every... I mean, it has been two years since you talked to. about getting this license. Oh, my gosh.

It's when we started the pod, May was like, I got to get my license. What are you not getting? Well, I stopped for a year and a half. You push, go and stop. There's more than that. The ignition. Parallel parking.

I'm turning all the way to the right and all the way to the left. Parallel parking is the hardest part of driving. It's so easy. But then just don't parallel park for a bit. Well, my driving instructor, Robert, he taught the McConaughey kids how to drive. as well as some of the Kardashian kids.

All right, all right, all right. I know. So I was telling my friend, and they were like, of course, you have the Nepo baby driving instructor because you have Nepo baby energy. And I don't... You have Nepo baby energy? What is that?

They're like, you don't cook. You take Uber's. I know you do. Uber eats a lot, right? I'm turning a new leaf. I'm getting my license. Yeah. I'm cooking.

I made this week I made them. When are you getting your license? December 8th, I'm doing the test. And then it'll be years still. When this comes out, I hopefully you'll have your license we'll be in the studio next time and we just like a car slams to the wall like the Kool-aids may have their license anyways but that was probably the worst first impression I made to everyone at that wedding because there's all of the royals

yeah and there's a photograph where I'm just lying on my back in my dress in the middle of the grass you get a pass I think when you're eight yeah you're eight right yeah I met the corgis all the cute it was crazy there were many of them right so many of them yeah yeah and i met the queen mother and princess diana was there briefly and uh it was a magical day princess diana and i had the same birthday so really yeah kindred spirit no way princess in the hair diana i i started stand up i with like she was coming up at the same time the day nice before like right around when she died Oh, really? Yeah. That was your first stand-up?

Yeah, yeah. It was right around then. Well, I can bring this all, this whole episode all together. Bring it. We need that every episode. We want a full-circle moment. I was watching The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly with my family, and then the phone rang, and my grandfather was on the phone. He said, Princess Diana's died, turned on the news, and we turned on the news.

And the first thing we saw was CNN, and we have Tom Cruise on the line. And it was Tom Cruise calling into CNN saying the paparazzi, like, this is what happened. It was just so weird. The first thing we heard was his take on it. And he was really passionately. That is who we want to hear from and a national, yeah, a worldly. You really did bring it. I did, right?

Yeah. Is any of it true? None of it. Okay. Not a word. I also want to acknowledge, like as far as bad first impressions, after I said, I said what mine was, I realized that I as a child and even as an adult for a long time was way more shut off, armor, protective, hadn't worked through a lot of stuff. And I'm certain

I made a ton of terrible first impressions where I was like, you know, the punk rock, not that I was of punk rock but you know the punk rock kid like as long as you just say hello to them they're like hi yeah yeah you know it's scary yeah and it's like they're punk rock usually because there's something going on yeah yeah it's a little soft on the inside yeah that's so true yeah and so um i realize like yeah i think i think you know when i got really sick and lost my mother and stuff it like really cracked me open and I'm in a very different way. Even going through all this with Andrea and Meg and the movie and I just have a very different look. Yeah. I'm not look, but outlook. And so yeah, I'm sure I made a ton of terrible first impressions. If you ever had, when you're in a group

or at a dinner party and I've so often, I'm like, this person hates me. Like why this person is so rude to me and then it turns out that they're just a fan or they're nervous and they're like later on they're like oh yeah I saw that thing and I really liked it and here the whole night I've been going this fucking assholes like I'm just they're they don't even want to look at me and I'm just trying to you know what you're creating everything yeah when I sat to go back to the governor's awards I sat down there's an actress next to me and I and I was like oh I'm just going to be the one that that says yeah yeah I didn't I wasn't yeah familiar with her but I was like hey I'm TIG And she's like, hi, how are you?

It's so friendly. And I was like, yeah. It's a reminder to do that. To make the effort. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, anyway. Well, to really bring it full circle with Tom Cruise, he is famously, famousfully, famous, famous, famous, famous, no. Is it your buck teeth?

Getting in the way? Yeah, they're finally doing the voice. Have we talked about the Tom Cruise cake? Yeah, yeah. That he remembers everyone's name. It's coming up soon where people on his list will be getting this Tom Cruise cake. Do you think I'm on the list? I hope to God that you are.

Because if you are, I don't think it would be vegan. So you get it. You should give it to me. Yeah. You guys. It's coconut, right? You can't have it. So, yeah, I will take it.

All I want is. We can have half to Thomas. I will get, for sure. Thomas can have half. I don't need a whole cake. Okay. Thomas is going to have half and I have the other half. But you do need half a cake and Thomas doesn't need the other half.

I do need half a cake. I mean if I met T.C. great. But I really just want him to send me one of his cake. You can probably buy it. You can buy it in Leland Hills at Dones Bakery. You know where it is? Why haven't you gone to get one? I've had it before.

You can buy them on Goldbelly. What is Gold Belly? You've never heard of Gold Belly? No. Have you? No, actually. You can like buy... Two against one, Goldbelly?

No! Have you, Thomas? We've talked about it on the podcast. You guys don't ever listen to me. It's a website where like restaurants sell, they're like, they're known for their cakes or like they're known for their lobster rolls or they're known for their whatever pizza.

And you can buy that restaurants or whatever company's thing. Yeah. You know, eight layer pies or whatever. And yeah, the Tom Cruise cake is one of the cakes you can buy. But you want it specifically from him. I want it from him, but it also is delicious and I will just eat it.

Well, you're going to end up in a action film with him. Obviously. I mean, you will. But also, I wouldn't be surprised if you did. Take my end up in it first. I have to. Yes. It's why I got into standout. It's why I got

in this biz. After Princess. So, yeah, maybe you'll get a Tom cruise cake i'd actually be a bit freaked out if i met him once and then ding dong the cake arrives yeah see i'm gonna be freaked out after meeting him once and i don't get a cake yeah you're gonna be like what did i do wrong what if oh my gosh girl girl girl what oh my god curly toes my toes are cold what is girl what he gets me the cake and it's vegan that would be crazy girl classic t-c taking care of O-S-S-S. T-C. is T-C-B-N.

I cannot wait for my vegan coconut cake. Should we hear Lizzie's response? Remember, we were still going to do that? Yeah. My answer is a bit of a cop-out, but also true. I feel like my first impressions are always, the ones I make are often very bad. People think that I'm, that I think I'm like. too cool for school. I've heard that a lot and bad first impressions of other people, you know,

that I miscalculate every time, everybody, everybody. Everybody. So always her and always everybody. Always everybody. Always everybody. Okay, fair enough. Okay, I'm going to remember that but I have to say when I was sick, Lizzie reached out to me. Uh-huh. And she said every Friday is TIG Day and I'm going to email and remind you how great you are and she did that it'd be great if he said

for a couple of months and then never heard from her again she's like I think TIG's fine now I can stop doing this right every now and then it crosses my mind I'm like should I write her and be like what happened to the emails on Fridays that's nice

though I mean to do it for someone to do it steadily for that long is unusual for sure but uh where are they yeah i believe she's in england well email works lizzie yes email works in england so they say who said that the governor the governor the royals the governor um well well well well you guys what a delightful way to spend a five you think my hands are cold feel this one. Oh my god, are you like an ice block? Yes. Yeah, what's up with y'all? Well, I'm warm now. I've been drinking this frosty bath. I've put my hands in McCuter. And on that note,

and on that note, in McCutchee. Oh my God. Shout out Kate McCoochie. Kate is a real good sport. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does anyone have anything they'd like to promote? Well, first of all, I want to say, My animal painting books that I made are restocked, and what a great holiday gift. All 100% of the pro feeds, profeeds? Profeeds. All the profedes. All the profedes. All the profedes.

All the profitees. Famifully. Famifully profite. They all go to Doctors Without Borders and go to animal art by May on Etsy, and there's these paintings and hats and tote bags and stuff. But also I'm on tour starting the end of February. February, and I just added a bunch of extra late shows, and I would love people to come to them. You want people at your show?

I, for once, yeah. I'm going to Austin. I know that. I need to sell some more tickets there. Yeah, anywhere that you like. Well, I'm also going on tour. Oh, you know. Did I cut off your tour information?

Okay. And you want some people to come to yours? Yeah, I have quite a few dates here, but I was just going to mention a few of them, one of them being January 14th in Fort Lauderdale. Yeah. Orlando. Get your cany out. January 15th in Orlando.

Jacksonville, Florida. What? Yeah. January 17th, I'll be there. And then Oklahoma City, February 20th, Midland, Texas. Midland. Come on, Midland. Midland.

Near Odessa. February, really. February 21st. And. And then I also wanted to tell you guys about Red Bank, New Jersey, April 26th, Brooks, California, May 15th, and Calispell, Montana, June 11th. Pretty area. Yes, beautiful areas that I'll be in. Beautiful.

Beautiful. And please come on out. Go to tignotaro.com for the rest of the dates. But I just wanted to let you know it's different months and different cities and states, all sorts of stuff going on. on. Heck yeah. Heck yeah. I'm also on tour. Are you? Yeah. I've got shows coming up in where I'm in Orlando, Florida, St. Petersburg.

We got, what else we got? We got Norfolk, Virginia. I feel like you've been going there for a long time. Because that one got rescheduled, so that's hard. Oh, okay. But it's definitely happening right after Christmas. Salt Lake City. Vancouver. And then spend New Year's Eve with me in Seattle, y'all. That's going to be a fun one. Don't have to tell me twice. Come on up.

And then right after that, Mobile, Alabama, New Orleans, and Atlanta, and a bunch more. I think Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Des Moines, a lot of places. So, yeah, get those tickets. We're easy to trip over. Yeah, we are. And also, if you have not seen Come See Me in the Good Light, please check it out on Apple TV. It went to the number one spot on Apple. It's incredible.

It's amazing. out of all genres. That's so good. It is really, really something. Yeah, I met Megan and she immediately called me Fortune Marie. Did she? Yeah, that's real sweet. Yeah, isn't she wonderful?

She's incredible. Incredible. Well, yeah, go to hansompod.com, get your merch. Yeah, we got new merch, holiday merch. Also, share your favorite episode with your loved ones. Let's continue to build this community. It's incredible. Our listeners are incredible.

And until next time, what do you say? Keep it handsome. Hansom is hosted by me, May Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feemster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com, and please follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a headgum podcast.

You know what's smart? Checking Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking that you got a fresh roll of tape before wrapping presents. I'm definitely not the person who can magically wrap something with a single tiny piece of tape. Yeah, check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.

Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, I'm Nicole Byer. Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda. And this is the podcast, Best Friends. And we're here at HeadGum. So this is just a podcast where we just talk. Yeah.

We're best friends. Yeah. We talk. And then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries. So audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes. We are professional friends. We are professional friends.

Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, PocketCast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You were. I'm really sorry. I felt the support.

I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. Yeah. But I was like, I don't know, reading seems pretty hard right now. It's a lot. I think you did good. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

Thank you.