Handsome - Lukas Gage asks about cringeworthy moments

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

Lukas Gage (White Lotus) asks a very handsome, potentially embarrassing question! Plus Fortune got a new house, Tig takes a call, Mae's buns, and... Frau Troffea?! We have new merch at handsomepod.com, so be sure to check that out as well!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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on the handsome pod Cheers Welcome to the handsome pod I'm Mae Martin joined by Fortune Feemster And Tignotaro Woo

Woo You guys Fortune We need some information About your home Oh wow We're just really getting to it I need information

well because we were we did a minisode um when we were going to be doing a i'm sorry a minisode oh sorry that's from another podcast i think what are we call our pretty little episodes yeah we were supposed do a full one yeah but we did a miniature one because your internet wasn't um wasn't up yet but we were to it became one at 10 30 yeah that's what we were wondering whether yeah yeah that's internet at a clock so uh so how yeah how was the move tell us everything girl mhm girl dish girl um well yeah so i i got a a new home um that i am moving into currently uh it all happened very quickly i um when we had looked for the last house that we were in and we looked for like two years, L.A.'s market is just bananas.

And I had just kind of gotten to the point where I just felt like the house was too big for just me, you know? Like, it's a lovely home and it's, but it's like for a family, you know? It's like, it was even too big for when Jacks and I were in there together. And May would be happy to move in. You do know that, right? Come on, man. I know you got that Pac-Man machine.

That's right. Well, it's come with. Okay. Yeah, I just was like coming home from the road and I was just like, I just, this is like cavernous. I don't feel at home. Yeah. And I just like casually texted a real estate friend. And I said, hey, I want to just kind of start casually looking.

Yeah. Nothing serious. but like if you see anything cool, just send it my way. And there was a house. I wrote her because there was a house in my neighborhood I was curious about. I didn't think it was right, but I was like, I just want to check it out just to kind of see what's out there. And she goes, yeah, sure. And then here are like five other places.

And one of them I was like, oh, this one's cool. It reminded me of my first house I bought out here. Yeah, I remember you saying you loved that. I love that house. Yeah. But this one was a little bit bigger, but one story and just cozy. and with a more space and I was like this one looks cool and I saw it two days later and I was like yep I'll take it I really admire that literally went that fast wow I really do that's one of my favorite

qualities in a person is like just pulling the trigger you know just make the make the also spiritually like a fresh start like that yeah like there's yeah just make some new memories in a new space. I think so. I just wanted something that was smaller and I knew I could like being by myself just knew where everything was and like in the house side of not upstairs, not being able to hear downstairs. Wait, so you didn't hadn't, you hadn't gotten your bearings in your old house to know your way around? No, I mean like, like, I mean as far as like if I'm upstairs and someone broke in or something, I can't hear it. You know, I don't know. Just. It's the safety of it, I think, was more of it for me.

And to maintain it, I mean, this old house had like a gazillion bathrooms. Like, I don't want to have to deal with all that. You're a one toilet kind of gal. I'm a one, maybe two toilet kind of gal. And so, yeah, I just, you know, walked into it and just had the vibe where it, again, reminded me of my old house that I really loved and I was like this is it and are you getting some good bites on the other house to sell? We're going to put it up for sale at some point but that hasn't happened yet but yeah so I moved this last week that's why I missed our recording because

the move ended up taking six hours I thought it would take like three or four and you know it's still kind of bare bones. I only move some furniture, but I'll just be a little bachelor with some sparse furniture for a little bit. That's fun, though. I'm excited for you. I'm so excited.

I think the question on all of our minds is, did you bring the plastic plant? The plastic plant has made its way. Okay, great. Of course. Because you're not there now. You're not podcasting from the new place. Yeah.

So I'm curious to see the new podcasting set up. I know. Well, I, I, this, the, I, my office area, I've got to figure out if I'm going to use it up somehow, but the video game, I have a multi-cade arcade stand-up. Hell yeah, you do. It has made its way to this house and it's in my office now. Get me over there. Get on up. Get on over here. I like what I'm hearing. I love this. So, um, yeah, I'm like going full bachelor in this house. Like, no furniture. No furniture and an arcade game.

Do you need framed pictures of me, May, and Thomas on your walls? Of course. Okay. Individual and groups. And what about a picture of Kitty City? Why not? Yeah, why not? Why not?

Yeah, we're going to have to get your new address and you're going to be getting some stuff in the mail. What about a lava lamp? You guys could also come over sometime. Well, it's crazy that we're... Did you do? Turned down my invite. I just, you know, I don't have a car.

I like to stay in my neighborhood. May doesn't have a car and still Uber's everywhere. I'm going to, I mean, to be two bachelors in our respective bachelor's playing games. Like, I'm playing darts. You're playing Pac-Man. We've got to just combine forces. I still got to make it to your bachelor pad. Yeah, you do.

I'm going to have a Halloween party. All right. Are you guys in? I'm going to be in Toronto. If I'm in town, I don't know. I'm going to Toronto Just to avoid this party That's how much TIG doesn't want to dress up in costume

Called stoops Well no I go as an aging lesbian every year Nice But you love a mustache You would rock a mustache Yeah yeah I do Yeah you could just wear that and call it a day Maybe I could wear a mustache and say I'm gone as TIG

Oh that's pretty good Yeah I like that I'm going to maybe go as Twinkerbell, so I'm going to be like a sort of gay boy tinkerbell. Whoa. What does that outfit until shirtless? I'm still workshopping it, but yeah, it's like shirtless with like, like, but with like a vest over it, you know? Yeah. And then hide the nips.

Hide the nips, of course. And then maybe like some little shorts or something. Well, this is fitting for what's happening in your life right now, which is, guys, can you Hold on. I'm sorry. One second. This might be a call that I have to, for a doctor's appointment. I'm sorry. Hold on one second. Sure, sure. Hello. This feels like a prank. Edge. Edge. I feel like that was a set. I'm sorry, calling from where? Oh, yes, yes. Hi. This is this will be on the pod. We have to keep this in. Yes. Yes. She's left her headphones in. Bye. Bye. Bye.

TIG Sorry, what'd you say We have to keep putting in This is part of the pod now I mean I thought that was a prank Because the way it was like Oh sorry I'm just getting hello The way I set it up

Where Mae is at in their life right now TIG I don't know if you knew this But May is An even bigger heartthrob than they were before Why? Their show Wayward's still a big hit It's still number one on Netflix Of course it didn't

Why wouldn't it be? I know that May's an even bigger heartthrob now. I don't know what episode is. Why are you yelling at me? But at some point, May shows ass. Yeah, I do show ass. May Marie. May Marie shows ass.

Your dungarees back on, my friend. We already know you're a shirtless. Listen. Tigg, listen to this. Shirtless? So you've seen May's ass. Yeah. Thomas, have you seen May's ass?

I haven't seen Mays' ass. Clearly, I would remember that. Clearly, I'm the better friend of all of y'all. I never claim to be a good friend to everyone. Okay. But take, picture this. All right. You watch this?

Yeah. Clearly, we're friends. Thank you. Look, if you're a real friend of mine, don't look at my ass. Okay. That's how I gauge a good friend. Give me some privacy. Go ahead.

Well, I'm going to paint the picture for you. The May's partner on the show is like, come over here. And May goes to stand up, and she goes, no, don't stand. And then May starts crawling like this. And then takes their shirt off. Ripped. Tats are glowing. You sure?

And then somehow turns over. I can't remember how that part happened. She flips me at work. And then here comes the ass. Oh, my God. Ass down. Ass out. Ass out. Yeah.

That's Armey, a little cowboy. And that's the end of the series? It's, and that's the clip hanger. That's it. No, it's very. You don't know what happens after that. And there's no follow up to the series.

No. It's just make up your own end. It literally goes, the end. Yeah. And that and meaning May's ass is the end. Okay. And so it's like a mad. lives TV series is you make up you fill in the blank may I say it was very tastefully

you don't you're not seeing asshole here's or full ass you're saying like I thought this is so tasteful is like gather around the family I do like this this is so tasteful this is so tastefully done it railed on the and also my wife is seven months pregnant in it and fully clothes and I'm fully naked. It's insane. And you're just getting railed from behind. So is that the episode five, like, holy cow?

Yeah. The number? Yeah. It was really, um, yeah, embarrassing. But then people are commenting on it being like, um, saying things, nice things, not nice things. But then someone just commented, didn't May write this too? So, so May wanted us to see their ass.

Yeah. That's a embarrassing way of frame. Little cowboy. Good ass. They had to see GI out because you're wearing like a flesh-colored piece of cloth covering your nether regions. Like, and so they always wear those. Do you? Even when.

Oh, yeah. You do actually wear flesh-colored underwear, don't you? I do. I wear ponies. Yeah. Granny ponties. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for watching, Fortune.

I'm going to watch it. You're welcome. It's still number one. It's been over, what, over a week. I think it's about to get knocked out by Ed Gaines, the serial killer Ryan Murphy thing. I think it's Ryan Murphy. Whatever.

What does that say about our culture? You know, I mean, I'll be watching it, but. Who knows what it says? I want to tell you that it keeps running through my mind that the other day, I can't remember if it was on a full episode or a Minnesota, whatever you called it. There was something that I feel like I delivered that could have sounded rude. And I was like, oh, I wonder if May took that the wrong way.

We were talking about some show and I said, I'll be watching Wayward before I watch that. Oh, oh, no, I took it as a compliment. Okay, I didn't want it to sound like I was saying, I would watch that. That was a shit like over that. No, I have all the plans in the world to watch Wayward, but, um, step-zero. and I are waiting to be together. Zero brush. There's a lot to watch.

And I, I, um... Yeah, I have to get through all my stories before I get to wait a word. I don't think I've ever been offended by anything either of you have said. Oh, that's good. That's really good. I haven't been offended by... Well, I know. I'm...

I feel like I always get it. Like, yeah, I've never been. In fact, it's a badge of honor. Most people, uh, I think get my sense. of humor. Yeah, you're a famous comedian. Well, sure, but there are people where they, I remember I was doing something on stage where somebody in the front row, they were like, oh, I know what it was where I was teasing the

Indigo girls coming out. Oh, yeah. And this woman was shaking her head with deep disappointment. And I said, what's wrong? And she said, I guess I just thought you were nicer than this. Oh, my God. And I was like, wow. So this person really doesn't get my sense of fear.

Like, yeah. Yeah, that's insane. Yeah. But no, you guys haven't offended me and I feel confident I haven't said anything trying to upset anybody. But if I do, let me know. And we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. We'll talk it out.

We'll talk it out. Yeah. Work it out, you guys. Yeah. We'll go to couples therapy. We'll go on the same. We'll go to Thruples there. Oh, my God.

Hell well. Or we'll all three of us go to HR, which is Thomas. And we'll get a talking to. Yeah. You know it's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know, it's not smart. Not checking that your hairdresser knows exactly what cut you want.

It can be a shock to look in the mirror and see a few more. inches missing than you expected. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary. Subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. It's hard to manage all life throws at you and still keep it handsome. But shopping, planning, and cooking food really can be simple and stress-free. Picture a world where your weekly shopping cart gets filled for you with your meals for each day already decided on. Hungry root can make that world a reality. Hungry root takes the stress out of

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packed my little bag not bringing a synthesizer not bringing my contouring stick what are you going to do not even not even your clear eye mascara I'm bringing none of that shit I'm going in

bare bones baby just your butt just your bare ass just my bear ass yeah I'm nervous though to have my phone taken away for six days you're there for like five days six yeah I had my

intake call and I know I can't you're not supposed to really share what goes on inside like part of it is discretion and but girl you're going to girl you know a girl tell us all a hot gas listen off the pod I will but I know I have to be I have to know we don't want you ban from there we don't want you arrested exactly but I am arrested could happen. Yeah. I think I'll probably feel really anxious for the first couple of days, just not. If not the whole six days.

Yeah. I mean, listen, am I going to make it the whole time in Arrowhead. I know with your phone and synthesizer and clear mascara. And that hot dog. Remember that hot dog? Do I ever? I try and like remove that. I think I need therapy.

Just to not. You about that. it's an intrusive thought sometimes where I'm like oh man and the two chips as the garnish two Doritos the little gherkin yeah but anyway I might come out with a totally different personality I might be like hi hi guys oh wow it's lovely to see you I don't know I'm feeling then you'll be like of the earth I don't know if we'll be able to use you on the podcast yeah we need you to be funny yeah and like corky you know you gotta fill your role you know you definitely need your facts yeah I got a I got a May fact

give it to us oh maybe I told you already take oh well then never mind let's move on so what I heard oh okay let's sell it again it's about the dance plague yeah I have told it I told you about it yeah never mind to take it back basically fortune there was this one that's all I think about there A woman in 1518 called Froutre, Frautrafowee. I actually don't remember. I don't remember your name. Froutre frowie? I don't remember.

I think I must have tuned you out because I don't remember. Proutraffowy. Merch alert. Froutherfowee cannot be real. Thomas is it? That sounds like a Star Wars character. Can you Google 15-18 dance place? And Frow-Therfowee, however that's spelling is up to you.

So she starts dancing. Yeah, frow. I didn't know the genderhood. Frow chafowy. Thomas is typing. Yeah, Thomas is typing. Oh, it is a real name. Who cares?

Tell the story. May spell it for the folks because I'll never guess. Okay, Frow, F-R-A-U, and then Trofea, T-R-O-F-F-E-A. Okay, this is good. Thomas has just sent, I guess, from Wikipedia or something. I'm going to, okay, in July 1518, a woman whose name was given. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Tell me what happens.

This is where we would put in a toilet flush out of it. A woman whose name was given us. Also, what do you mean whose name was given? given as as frowtrophia stepped into the street and began dancing she seemed unable to stop and she kept dancing until she collapsed from exhaustion after resting she resumed the compulsive frenzied activity and continued this way for days within within a week more than 30 people were similarly affected they kept going long past the point of injury city authorities were alarmed by the ever increasing so it basically was a contagious dance

Oh, wow. People died and whatever. And then she, I think, Trow Trafowee went to different towns. And she kept. And recruited people to die dancing? Yeah, she kept starting these dance parties. The fact that this story has come up twice. I'm getting the vibe where we've entered another bear portal.

I know. Get me to the Institute. Gatsy with the Institute. It's crazy, though. And why were people like, yeah, I can't stop, won't stop dancing, till I die. Well, some people think that it was like a poison in the yeast of the bread or something had gone bad in the town and they were all psychotic, but I don't know.

I think it was a curse of Traffalo. Yeah, all that crazy bread. Wait, there's crazy bread? Yeah, what did you mean by that? I went with it, but you said yeast. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but then you said, oh, yeah, that crazy bread insinuating that people just know about crazy bread.

What? what's happening what you're sure we go to our question that people ate bread and went nuts and started dancing till they died it sounded like crazy bread is a thing what has happened to our show what how could we possibly get as much information as we just got and then we all just fell off we just fell off the wagon of conversation and looked at each other like what are you talking about about. Nobody knows what the other person is talking about. And none of us knew that we were going to talk about this today. No, we did not. And I've already heard about it. I know, poor. I've already heard about Frouchafowie. Lucky you. No. It was probably different when you heard it too. It's changing.

Well, what a fact, May. Thank you. You're welcome. And can we just put a cap on that, Froucher Fowley? I think we've been Froucher Fowie from the future episodes. I've... You're attached to Froucher Fowley? I don't know. I don't mind it. Two against one. All right.

May and I've shared some tidbits of our life. Tig, would you like to add anything to... No. Let's get to our question. No, I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet. Yeah. I don't really have anything to say.

There's nothing going on in my life. God, I wish you did more. I'm just, you know, Stephanie's still in London and I'm, I, I'm like, I'm, I, I've said it a million times. I'm just enjoying living my normal life. I, you know what I did today? You're just in mom mode? I am and I, I, I love it. And I'm, oh, fortune, Marie.

How dare you Yuck my yum I'm totally kidding I'm Fortune's playing Pac-Man in an empty house And I'm like Doing laundry folding clothes Empty in the dishwasher

Picking up the kids Going to the grocery store I wish you did more actually Yeah But I am still I'm still in that mode And I'm really enjoying it

Oh I love that But I do I love doing the podcast. I have a show, I think tomorrow night, and, you know, Papa Grande is going to come over, hang out with Max and Finn. And so it feels like that balance of like, I'm podcasting, I'm doing shows,

and I'm running around. Like the call I answered earlier was Max and Finn's doctor appointment. And it just feels nice to be submerged in the life that I've normally been. out in the world working towards halving, but really being in my life. Yeah, and not just cramming it in between tours or filming. But like, really being in it. And it just, it just feels, feels nice.

That's really nice. I love that for you. That's what I'm up to. Thank you, even if that's not sincere. It is wildly sincere. I think about you as I'm playing my arcade game all the time. What are you talking about? what are you talking about that's that's what i crave that type of life take and that's what the

the institute is going to help me conjure are you talking about just balance in general of um yeah and i want a family so i want to be the best version of myself you know in order to magnetize that life that i want yeah and you so you definitely want kids i want kids in my life that i want kids in my life that I'm raising. Okay. Does that count? Sure. Whatever means it comes by.

Yeah. I mean, I, yeah, I want to make up weird stories and games. I know there's other stuff to do with parenting, but that's the part I, that's pretty much it, right? Yeah. Fanciful worlds. Yeah. You know what I also really enjoy is, um, this is very embarrassing to admit.

I have this game. in my head where I'm like, okay, if somebody popped into our house while Stephanie's out of town, even when Stephanie's in town, but she's, then let's just take it right now while she's out of town. In my mind, I'm like, I'm going to keep up this house to a tea because like if there was like a house patrol that popped in and was like, are the dishes clean? Are the clothes clean? Are they Folded and put away. Are the cats fed? Is there enough food in the house?

Like making sure that balance is going on, that everything is handled. It's like that I guess it makes sense because it's like when I train for something or I'm like trying to get my health in order, I'm not into like competing against anyone in a team situation. I'm like, I want to make. sure I'm on top of what I'm doing. You know what I mean? And so it's like the ultimate me against me game where I'm like, oh my gosh, I forgot the laundry. It's in there. And before Max and Finn get home, I want all of their clothes put away. And anyway, so that's my little

so you're winning right now. I am, but I still have I have a load of laundry that isn't. I'm sure the listeners are like, get a life. I do have one. This is the life I want. But so I have a little bit of laundry that still needs to be dried and folded. But after that, after we record, I go get those little cubs. And boom, their house is already. Oh, I love that.

Fortune and I should pop in unannounced in disguise as house inspectors just at a random point to be like, is this house in tip-top shape? Everything is smooth? Yeah. And have a list. Yes. And call me out and be like, listen, I feel like, The TV room should be a little cleaner.

And then, but I can show you what I have done and why the, the TV room is a little in disarray still. Yeah. So, that's what I'm up to. So that's good. I don't, I don't really see mess. Like my eyes would be like, this is, this is, this looks great. No, I know.

Look behind you. Like the last four podcasts, you've had just like a mountain of shit to the right of you. Stuff I'm donating. Hey, May, remember the role of show, don't tell? Yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah, I got to deal with this. I was like, look at the pile that May's collecting over there. Yeah, I do have a new object that for when we're beauty influencers.

Oh, yes, I miss my beauty influencer days. I haven't busted it out yet, but it's like a... What is it? Oh, it's the infrared mask. Yeah, LED infrared mask. mask that like it like vibrates and um relaxes your face or something it fucks your face fortune number three i'm getting my i'm getting the f f fucked out of my face he said i'm getting the f fucked out of my face

I'm stunned. I am stunned. I've never heard something so... Well, I say it vibrates, so... Assume that's what happens to your face is it gets effed. Gaggig, gigg, gigg, gigg, gigg, gigg, gidd, gigg, gidd, gidd, da, gda, greg. I was just talking about how I play a game where the house patrol is going to come by and see if I've folded my laundry and tidied the TV room and emptied the dishwasher and got.

on to the grocery store because I'm a normal person living a normal life. And then you go and say that? I just said what I heard. Well, you got to get one. We'll compare notes. You got to get one. Two against one. Should we get to our question, please?

You've got to get one of these. Girl, quiet. Girl, back it up. Girl, girl, girl, no. Who is our question asker? Please, please, girl, no. Okay, girl. Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace.

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Copyright McDonald's. Well, today's question asker by the way, would appreciate this entire conversation. I know he would because he's hilarious. He's an actor who played Dylan in the Emmy

winning first season of the White Lotus which will get to what he infamously did on that show he also started in Smile 2 and Companion he's all over the place lately he's really crushing it Lucas Gage is asking

today's question Hey handsome squad It's Lucas Lucas Gage here and I have a question for you what is the most desperate stunt that you've ever pulled just to get attention talking next morning

you wake up and you cannot believe you really did that oh okay first of all yeah let's just address that the tank top the deep voice

this is what I'm going for Lucas is sexy go to YouTube check that out even though I couldn't see it I have to believe you because my eyesight is gone but he did look like

he did resemble a very attractive person from what I can tell. He's very attractive and he's really funny and he has a fun personality. So do we. Of course. I wasn't counting us out, girl. I know, but you have to always remind people that we are a fun bunch. Do you want to know what he did in season one of White Lotus? What? Well, Lucas's character did this on the first season of White Lotus and it was a real moment, a real TV moment. He ate a guy's ass. What is happening to our show? Sorry to have built up to slower to that.

I can't talk now. No, you shouldn't share that. This is a family-friendly show. TIG, when you were drinking that water, I thought you were going to do a spit-take. When Fortune said it, I thought you were going to go. I don't do spit-takes because my sons are in the middle. of spit take

obsession they learn to spit take so anytime there's something funny going on they always grab a drink so they can spit take and so I'm really on top of guys makes you spit take eating

I've not done it I've not done that before but I imagine that would make you thirsty I'm dropping out of this conversation. Poor Lucas Gage is probably like podcast. No.

Yeah, yeah, girl. Lucas is probably like great. My whole career has been boiled down to this one moment. But I would like to ask, is there a difference between rimming and eating ass? What is happening? Is rimming just around the parameters and then the other way is really getting in there? I think maybe. Oh, come on.

Oh, my God. Come on. TIG is just taken off her headphones. It's part of our world now, TIG. Even our grandmas are doing it. Oh, my Lord. Mine's dead, but she probably would have done it. It's part of life.

It's a beautiful thing. Tick wants no part of this. All right. Well, I'll clean it up. I'll promise. I'll clean it up. Hello. Hello.

We've moved on from it. We've moved on from that. We're just talking about eating something. Sticky. Sticky. yeah you gotta wash that up real good if that's happening that no that's just hey hey hey hey hey hey that's just the fact girl back it up girl if i'm just saying if someone is going to do that like please wash all of that real good wash grandma's problem area yep and wash your mouth out while you're

i will maybe i will did you get your mouth washed out as a kid yeah never did you one time i did One time I did. With soap? Mm-hmm. A bar of soap or liquid soap? Whoa, that's some old school. That was like in the 70s, wasn't it? Yeah, it was.

Yeah. You know, it was, I was basically seven smoking a cigarette and holding, not really, but I mean, you know, it was the 70s. And my mother only did it one time. I think she was desperate because I wouldn't pull it together. You wouldn't put that sick down. Yeah. So did she say go and put that soap in your mouth or she put it in your mouth for you? she like put the bar of soap on my tongue she probably wouldn't appreciate me telling this but

she's no longer with us i don't know if i've ever told you that but i also my mother's personality was also one that i could say but you did it so i am going to tell people and she go that's that's the trade off and so wait what was his question he said is something you did for attention yeah where you woke up the next day and we're like I can't believe I did that. Something, some stunt that you pulled. Like in an embarrassing, I can't believe I did that or in like a, whoa, I pulled off that stunt and I can't believe I pulled it off. I think embarrassing.

Like, oh my God. I'd like to hear a good one as well if you weren't embarrassed. But yeah. Have I ever done something for attention? Yeah, your whole career. That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. Yeah.

I do comedy just because it feels good on the inside. I don't want any feedback whatsoever. Oh, man. I mean, I've told the story before of when I took the joke too far when I was 13 and I was doing a Scottish character. I was at a guy's birthday party. I was 13. I think I had a crush on the guy, so I was manic and doing all these voices and

characters like Ace Ventura and I was doing this Scottish character and I stood we were waiting for the bus to go play laser tag stood on top of like a newspaper box yeah the whole thing was the most classic setup so I'm standing on top of this newspaper box being like oh look over there I'm doing this loud character and I remember thinking I'm so fucking funny I am like I am on fire and then this couple walked by this strange sure's couple you know adults and I was so into my character I spat at the couple and it landed on their shoe and the world stopped turning as soon as I've never heard this my stomach dropped out of my body I go they look at me they go did you just spit at us and all of my friends are silent and terrified like there's adults now mad and I was like

I'm so sorry I don't know why I did that I just got can you both look really disappointed of me right now so I have to answer this real quick my alarm's going off are you sorry joking are you joking no not at my new house but at my old one oh your house alarm is going yeah did we give the address and did we just stream live okay they got it they got him they got him they got him so just to clarify, that's twice on the podcast. Sorry. Well, I was like, I got a thing from the security company and I was like,

it was stressful. Yeah. Anyways, I spot on this couple and I just knew in the moment I have taken this too far. It was like, I was possessed. I don't know what came over me. And then they got in the same bus as us to go. And I remember sitting by myself on the bus.

My friends just humiliated. And the, oh, my God, fortune's on the phone. this is this has never happened may this is a sign of a good story is when your co-host holds up one finger oh my god wait let's see what is it yeah okay I wonder what a fortune never comes back and just continues working on the computer or something and we're back What's going on? It was ADT calling to make sure that no police needs to come. But how do you know if police need to come?

You're not there. Because it's people getting the house ready. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, all right. Anyways, that's my most shameful moment where no one really talked to me for the rest of the birthday. Everyone was just like, you're unhinged, and I just was trying to be funny. And the next morning, did you wake up?

How did you feel? Like when you woke up the next day. Ashamed, yeah, bad. I remember then going into the laser quest and just finding a corner to sit in in the dark while everyone's running around, pew, beo, pew. And I was like, oh, I'm just going to find a little spot to cower in the dark. Yeah. And how long did it take you to feel better?

Oh, I mean, look, I'm still talking about it. I'm still. Yeah, yeah, you are. What about you guys? Have you ever, especially with comedy, like, just like, I'm trying to be funny. It's such a trap, especially. things don't age well and stuff. Is there anything that you've done that you're like...

I'm trying to think if there was a bigger thing I did. I did fake having a retainer once because I thought that would be cool. How did you... It just was a paperclip that I put... I was like, why did I think this was cool? It's like people would ask me about my retainer. Yeah, I have a retainer. it wasn't a joke it was like i actually want people to think 100% for real thinking for some

reason that would make me cool wow yeah that was so stupid i think a couple days later i'm like why am i eating metal yeah and how are you holding it in place i don't know i i like undid the paper clip so that it was like a round i used to do that and just put it here like where it kind to you could kind of fit it to your mouth yeah but but did you have like embarrassment or shame the next day or anything um more of just like what was that oh sorry I'm just getting I'm just getting a call guys sorry once you this is for real you stop this we are blowing up hopefully someone walks past your window again at some point so you can have a moment as well But I don't know

I'm trying to think if I did something on a larger scale That was for attention Drunk at a Hollywood party And you try and do the splits And you knock over the caviar I knocked over Can you believe I knocked over the caviar? Oh my God

Oh my God Who knocked over the caviar What about you, Tigg? It wasn't a prank But I was at the age My kids are just coming out of this age where they need a band-aid for everything

You know, when kids are just I don't know if you're aware of this But kids love a band-aid They love a band-aid And it wasn't a prank But it was kind of along the lines Of what Fortune was saying It was first grade

And my mother had Made me wear a dress for picture day. And it was the group picture. And I was sitting in the front row in my dress. And I was so young and dumb that I didn't understand that what ends up in the picture my mother's going to see. And so I'm sitting there in my dress, which by the way was a happy medium of my mother

being like, you have to wear a dress, which she. didn't continue to make me do later in life. But the one dress that I really like to wear if I had to wear a dress was a denim dress with a with a with a farm scene on it. There was like a farm with little animals and a sunshine and a pocket for your cigarettes. No, I just rolled those up in my sleeve. But it also had like overall. like a look of overalls anyway so I wore my farm dress sat in the front row and covered both of my legs with band-aids knee to ankle oh my god because I thought it looked so cool to have like all of these injuries on my leg these fake injuries so I get my picture taken I go I think it might have been

the first year because I don't think I had a group picture in kindergarten. So it might have been the first year. So I just didn't know. I didn't have a lot of information yet in life. So the picture gets developed and my mother, it gets sent to my mother because she purchased the picture. And she looks at it and she's like, sweetie, that was on your legs. And I was so embarrassed. I was so humiliated by my mother seeing that I snuck and and she was I mean here I just told a story of my mother putting soap in my mouth but she was like people are going to think that yeah yeah but anyway so that was it wasn't a is that a prank I don't know if it's a prank but it's something you did for attention yeah that then you had to be faced with oh yeah yeah so I guess it does

fill the question. Oh my God. If my kid was doing that, I'd be like, my kid's great. That is really weird and funny. Cover your legs with band-aids because you think it's kind of badass. 10 band-aids on each leg. And not a single band-aid was left in the house. Right. Yeah. So there's my story. We used to give each other hickies on our eyeballs. The three of us did. Yeah. just last week. So that it would look like a black eye because we thought that was cool. So you sort of would suck on the person's lower eyelid.

And then so everyone in the class looks like we had black eyes. Gross. Yeah, it was gross, yeah. The things that we thought were so cool were nuts. Pretty badass. Pretty badass. Should we hear Lucas's answer? Yeah.

Yeah. So my most cringy, most mortifying stunt that I've ever pulled just to get someone's attention has to do with you. Fortune. I'm so sorry. It was the night before party. First year, you know, after the pandemic, never been invited to these Hollywood things. I didn't know how anything went.

I maybe drank a little too much. And as I'm leaving, I'm walking out and I spot you at the valet, getting in your car. And I go, oh, my God, oh my God, that's Fortune Feimster to my friend. We'd watch Barb and Star on repeat. And instead of just letting it go and admiring or maybe saying hi, I proceeded to jump on the hood of your car. That's right. Like I knew you, and it said, Fortune, stop.

You have to hang out with us, Fortune. And I cannot believe this. I can't believe how amazing. and nice you were because you kind of went along with it and kind of acted like we knew each other you probably thought it was absolutely insane and the next morning I woke up in a cold sweat and I could not believe I did that I'm so sorry I love you and I love the pod oh my god that is so funny I did not think that would be his answer that's hilarious and it's so different from band-aids on my legs with my clam dress on.

That did, I want to, I want to say he might have been with Meg Stalter that night. Yeah. Yeah, I was, I knew that obviously I didn't hit him with my car, but they kind of threw himself on the hood of my car. I think that's a great bit. I would think I might have, I knew of him, but I don't know that White Lotus had come out yet, but that is so funny. And I didn't think twice about it.

I just thought it was a funny bit. Yeah, a funny person being funny. I'd be like, yeah, we are going to be friends if that's your. We are friends and I see them around. Did you drive off saying, hey, would you be a guest on my podcast in a few years? Yeah, I did. Can't wait to see you eat ass. For a chick, come on.

Sorry, oh, sorry. Come on. Sorry, sorry. Meg Stalter is someone that when she's around like, I get, egg into this lunacy. I wish she asked Meg to do a question. Of course. I don't know why we haven't.

I know. I just thought that. Can I say really quickly? She is currently filming hacks. So she's in Vegas, I think. And she has, I guess, a lot of time off just in her hotel room. And I have so much respect for how she's using that time, which is just she's doing these Instagram lives like she used to do during the pandemic where it's sometimes two hours.

And she's in character. She's wearing these wigs. and people are calling in and she does a character called Miss Love who she did a whole night where she was giving love advice and being like

my polyamorous boyfriend and I are getting married then the next night she does another two hour live stream being like I'm getting a divorce it's like the best I'm just like that is a comedy brain

you know that just is she's always thinking of bits and she doesn't give a shit and I'm just I respect it a lot I've done a couple of her Largo shows and I'm just like

what is just going to unfold tonight. That's so funny. Well, you know what? Lucas also got married on television. I didn't know if that was going to be one of his things. What do you mean? Lucas got married on the Kardashians'

television show to Kim Kardashian's hairdresser. And the wedding was on the reality show? Yeah. And he was really, that's really his husband is. They are now divorced. I mean, that sounds like something I would do. But they both were matching, like, I don't know if it was real or faux fur, big black foe fur, whatever jackets of black leather pants in, I think Vegas and Kim was the efficient. And how long was he with his husband?

I don't know. I think it was a shorter relationship. I think he's since talked about it on some podcasts saying he. regretted doing it in that way I feel like I would get over excited about something and be like yeah show the world do it yeah like it's swept up

in something yes 100% that sounds like especially if Kim Kim Kardashian's going to officiate I'll marry you guys I'll marry anyway you're going to marry whoever just so difficult to officiate Yeah well my friends This was a delightful episode Can't get enough

That's right But that is enough we do need to to move on. I just wanted to say that we have new merch. Yeah. Including, speaking of, yeah, we have a yeah ghost, crew neck and a handsome zip hoodie. Go to handsomepod.com. Also, I cannot stress enough, the importance of rating and reviewing our show.

Subscribe to the podcast. Also, subscribe to our YouTube channel. And follow us Follow our socials Because some of these merch things Were from the feedback We got on those socials And if anyone knows the couple

Who I spat on in character Get in touch with them and apologize Yeah, that's a good idea For sure What do you guys have coming up Or I can start Because I can say That I'm supposed to say

And I get emails reminding me to say I am on tour I'm going on tour in February for 35 cities. I'm going to and the tickets are on sale. And my whole team is very nervous about the ticket sales. So please buy some tickets. Come see me live. I've never done an American tour.

I'll be in Canada and America. Yeah. It's going to be incredible. You're going to sell tickets. I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm going to try and meet as many people as I can too and do meet and greets and stuff. So yeah, check it out.

Well, this November, I'm at the Chicago Theater. It's almost sold out. So get your tickets. San Jose and Fresno, California, the end of that month. Charlotte, North Carolina, St. Petersburg, Florida, Orlando, Florida in December. And then a bunch of dates got rescheduled, like Norfolk, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, and Seattle. All those are at the end of the year. Seattle, Washington, I'm doing New Year's Eve.

So come celebrate the New Year with me. It's before the countdown so you can come to the show then go celebrate the ringing in of the New Year elsewhere. I'm going to be in Montclair, New Jersey for the Montclair Film Festival and Stephen Colbert is hosting the evening of the documentary screening. Oh, no way. Yeah, yeah. So that's going to be really fun. This isn't like a stand-up show, but I'll be out there doing a Drew Barrymore show and Colbert promoting the documentary. So we're in full, full documentary promotion mode right now. So if it's, if the film is screening anywhere near you, please check it out. And we are creeping up on the premiere of Come See Me in the Good Light on Apple TV, November. 14th. I cannot emphasize enough how beautiful this film is. And I mean, it really, really

promotes and encourages compassion. I'll also be a dynasty typewriter in Los Angeles, November 16th, and Largo in Los Angeles, November 21st. So get your tickets and go to tignotaro.com for all my other live show information. Sweet. Really sweet. And I would say until next time, shall we keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com.

And please follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart, not checking your fruit bowl before heading out of town for a week. Who knew that a million fruit flies could move in and become your roommates in such a short amount of time?

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms. Conditions and Availability, Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. What's up, everybody? I'm Kyle Mooney. And what's up, everybody? I'm Beck Bennett. And man, ooh, we got something to tell you. Oh, yeah, we definitely do. Yes, it's a brand new podcast on Headgum. That's right. And it's called What's Our Podcast. Yep. And that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast she'd be about.

Yeah, we don't. So we actually have a guest come on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about and then we try it. Yep. Guests like Mark Maren, Jack Black, Bernie Brosky, Caper Lan, Bobby Moynihan, Meg Stalter,

and Tim Balls, Landon Axler, Jory, Joni McGreeze, and Dender. And Dender. New episodes release every Wednesday.

So subscribe to what's our podcast. On YouTube, or any of your favorite podcast platforms. Yeah. I'm gonna go do it right now.