Handsome - Martha Kelly asks about The Chipmunks

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

The hilarious Martha Kelly (Euphoria, Baskets) asks Handsome an un-squeak-ably fun question about a desert island and...The Chipmunks?! Plus two run-ins with a Beatle, "balls catching balls", and Atsuko Okatsuka's "proof of life" for Tig! Also, we have new PRIDE MONTH merch at handsomepod.com!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTube and HuluThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the Handsome Pod. We're TIG and Fortune. We're Tick and Fortune. And May, there's May. I'm Tick Fortune of May. You sure are. We're together again. Hello.

Yes, we are. I'm in Orlando. Hey. Quick Disney trip. Yes. Going to Disney. Solo Disney jaunt. You know me.

I'm doing a corporate situation. Love it. Yeah. Love it. An Orlando corporate situation doesn't get better than that. No, it doesn't. I'm back home. Fortune your south.

Yep, I'm about to... You're in your southern chair. As of this recording, I'm headed to Europe. Oh my God. And next time I talk to... you guys, I'll let you guys know how that went. And this is with your mother? She'll be there for half of it, yeah.

Okay. Oh, my God. Yeah. Are you excited? It's hard to know what to pack for, I was just there. I was just in England. The temperature seems a little cooler than I would have expected. It's like low of 50, high of 60. I just thought it would be a bit warmer, but I have a little jacket I'm bringing with me. Well, that's adorable. What about a little turtleneck?

I have a little sweater. And what about some earmuffs? Earmuffs and a turtleneck. I don't think I need earmuffs. It's not that cold, but... I know, but it'd be adorable. I know. It would be.

But, yeah. So I'm here in the South as the halfway journey. Uh-huh. Right. If you're in the UK and you need a haircut, will you promise us you'll go see Debbie? Because I was just there for four days for a wedding. And I was so tempted to just pop in on Debbie. didn't have time, but God, I wanted to see her.

I'm only there for a night, so I really don't have time, but it would be. I feel like TIG is the one who needs to have this Debbie experience. TIG has. I've had it. Oh, wait, you did. Oh, you actually did go? Yes. Debbie went to TIG's show.

Actually, Fortune, would you mind if I reached. Because you don't pay attention. Would you mind if I reached out to Debbie and asked if she wanted to go to your show? I'll pay for the ticket. Ask away. I'll get her a ticket. it. She'd love it. She'd love it. Yeah. She needs to have a commercial where the theme song is Go see Debbie. Yeah. Go see Debbie. Stop by and see Debbie. You won't be disappointed.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm going to eat a lot of cheese and a lot of pastries. And then when I get home, I need to go in a health kick. Okay. What does that look like? Well, I started before this And I posted about it And everyone's like, TIG would be so proud. I went to the farmer's market. Because they said I was like one step closer to getting ready for the wellness weekend. Right. I went to a farmer's market and bought a bunch of stuff to make myself cook for the rest of the week.

Yeah. And I bought tons of veggies. That's the part they said you would be super stoked about. And just made myself every meal. And I lost like three pounds. For a week of eating like that. Wow. And did you find it like can you cook?

Did you find it easy to cook? I did get better as I went. I felt like I started to find a groove. However, I did burn myself. Oh my God. Fortune. Yeah. That's a gnarly one, right?

That is. Yeah, that's a gnarly one. What do you say when you have pain instantly? Owie. Owry. Owry no. Ouchy, ouchy. It was an honest mistake.

The oven, I had stuff going on the oven. I was up top. Nothing was going. And I dropped a sweet potato. And I went to get it and didn't realize the top of the oven was super hot. Did you call that an honest mistake? Yeah. Honest mistake.

It was an honest mistake. Not a liar mistake. And yeah, every part of that oven is going to be pretty hot. I didn't think about that, may? Yeah. I don't cook a lot. And it got me. I've been putting scar lotion on it every day and new as porn in the beginning.

And done vitamin E. Yeah, I need a little aloe plant in my house. It's a real. I think vitamin E helps with, you know, scarring stuff. That's a real burn. It almost made me be like, why am I doing this? But I knew the benefits would outweigh me getting burned. Yeah.

But yeah, I ate a lot of veggies, you guys. What kind of veggies is? Sweet taters. broccoliini, onions, Brussels sprouts, regular onion and a red onion. I got a nice piece of salmon that I made throughout the week.

That's not a veggie. I know this. And I got some really good chicken breast. Hello. And just out on a spring salad and little cherry tomatoes. Oh, that sounds great. And the hearts of palm.

We'd love to come over. Made us out. Carrots. Oh, I got a bunch of carrots. The tricolor ones. Oh, I love those. Oh, tricolor carrot. Tri-color carrots, oh, my God.

Yellow, orange, purple. Yeah, you feel like a gourmet when you're doing that. I know. So, like a purple carrot. And I just, throughout the week, I was like, what do I have? Let me just figure out something with this stuff. That is divine. I know.

Go me. The pillar of health. But now I'm about to blow it. in Europe, but when I get back, I'm going to do what I did again. Got to have your wheels of cheese. Yeah, and then when you get back, it's time to prep for wellness weekend. It's time. It's time to start prepping.

Time to start prepping, y'all. I feel like we have so many updates for each other. Like, I want to know about Tig was that Stephen Colbert's last show. I want to know about that. I went to the Survivor 50 finale. What? I'll talk about that. Yes.

Yes, we have so much to update. How was it? How was Colbert? Yeah. It was really fun. They were trying to get me on the second to last episode. That's funny. But I was filming and it was not looking promising for a while there.

And I just kind of was like, I'm just going to let go and let God. And then I got a call, you know, a few days before. saying they're going to put you on the finale. And I was like, oh, heck yeah. And it was fun. It was, you know, your buddy, Paul McCartney was the guest. This is what I want to know about. Yeah. And Elvis Costello was a musical guest. Oh, my God. Ryan Reynolds, Brian Cranston. Can we go back to Paul McCartney for a second? Oh, sorry. You were in the same room as him. Like closer than you've ever been. Yeah, not just close to him.

I met him. And I also got to sing, um, hello goodbye with him. Oh my God. Oh my God. I don't want to, man,

I don't want to pile on and you guys can keep discussing this. But I also met him at the Sarnat Live finale. I'll be right back. Keep talking. What do you mean? Is he just going to everything these days? He's making his rounds. He is making his round.

But he's avoiding you in his rounds. Did you feel emotional when you met him? I can't say I felt emotional, but I was such a fan as a child. Yeah. I mean, I'm still such a fan, but it was my fantasy to be the fifth beetle, even though John Lennon had been killed the year before. You know, I was just in my own world. I'm going to be the fifth beetle.

And so having loved this band obsessively, my whole life, the feeling I had more than anything when I met him was like, oh, we've been waiting for this moment our whole life. And so it just, it felt like, you know, when we said hello and shook hands, I was like, oh, finally, we met in person. Oh my God. This is what I would feel too. But what were his hands like? They're very soft, actually. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. And he looks incredible. He's 83 years old. He's just, he's still got that like, you know, sexy cool hair and sexy cool face, facial hair. And he's rocking it, you know. I can't believe you sang. You say yes.

Yeah, that's pretty great. I say, no. Yeah. Yeah, and that's what it is. So I was thinking also in my net, in like a Netflix special, I think it was in like 2019. I had the Indigo girls on there. Yeah. So I've played with the Indigo girls and I've sung with Paul McCartney.

And so I'm just going through and checking off all of my faves slowly but surely. Did you get him? Did you tell him about me? Did you like, did I come up? He asked about you. Like as soon as, yeah. As soon as. as I met him, he was like,

don't mess with me. Tell me all about, oh my gosh, May's kind of believing it. May just said, don't mess with me. It's so funny because we had just talked on a prior episode about how none of us had met him and TIGG come very close.

And then within a week, Tick and I both met him. I went to the finale of S&L where he was a musical guest. And so I watched him sing a bunch of these Beatles songs at the end. A bunch of these Beatles songs. And then afterwards I was like, I got to like, I got to say hi to him. Yeah.

And so he like was about to walk by me. And then he stopped to talk to Emma Stone for a long time. And I was like, oh, man, I'm never going to meet him. And then he walked by and I just like shook his hand. And I was like, you're great. Like he's never heard that before. You're great. And he had very, very soft hands.

and then he was like having fun and dancing with his family and at some point he pulled out allegedly a little joint I think that's his life either that or it's pretty sick but I'm pretty sure it was a joint and I was like yeah get it oh my god like I'm smiling and I'm so full of joy

but I'm having like slight flashback to the Alanis feelings just because I'm like I didn't at least I didn't sing with him so I'm off the hook for that one. But I trust, I trust, I live in, and let God or whatever. I'm, I trust the universe is timing. I'm like, I'll have my moment. I have to. Because to me, you might not. I'm just, I know, I know, I know. I might not. Let's be honest. You probably won't. Wow. Oh my God. I know. But you never know. I mean, I didn't think I was going to meet him when we had that chat. I'm a little surprised how many Beatles I've tripped over in my life.

I, you know, seeing Ringo at Airwan grocery store and then eating dinner next to Paul at a vegetarian restaurant and then finally meeting him in New York. That's a lot of running into the Beatles, you know, in a lifetime. Yeah. It really is. It feels like. Considering half of the band is gone. Yeah. You know?

It feels like like, I don't know, he's representing. It's like meeting him is like a glimpse of a whole other timeline. It's like, yeah, he was the defining figure of a whole era. But the fact that he's still so with it and energized and performing, he's doing three hour concerts. And yeah, oh man. Yeah, last night my friend was like, maybe you don't want to meet him. Maybe it would ruin it. And I was like, absolutely not. I know it wouldn't ruin it. I've seen, I know enough about him that he's a nice guy. And I could. Yeah, it wouldn't ruin it. He's just, he did seem really. nice. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm happy for you guys. He's just kind of like, hey, hi, yeah, that's exactly right. And that's how he's always been. Fortune is not known for her Paul McCartney impression. Let's be honest. Hey. You know, I actually, I would have a music. Let's walk. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the ingredients on that bottle of lotion, I just dolloped onto my hands. Big regret. I'm famously allergic to coconut. So you think I would have learned by now that coconut oil is in seemingly everything.

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I last, so the, luckily, I mean, I mean, if I'm on the spectrum in any way, which I'm sure I am, like my hyper fixations, the Beatles are up there and, and Survivor's up there. And so at least I got to go to the Survivor 50 finale. Yeah. And it was like, I know you guys are not going to emotionally connect with this the way I did, but this season of Survivor 50 was Shakespearean. And that this is decades of interpersonal relationships between these contestants,

these returning players who are like like Greek gods on Mount Olympus that like fight amongst themselves and you know flirt and fight in the but they're like a dysfunctional family and they are so human like their hubris always gets to them and we like root for them and then we watch

them crumble and this season was like the Coliseum it really is like yeah and so to be there and so you've got the cast of that season but also there were there were maybe 200 former contestants there who've had this unique experience of being on an island together surviving. Yeah.

And I get to go with the queen of survivors. So people are losing their minds for part, which is always really gratifying to see her get the love she deserves, you know? And oh my God, it was good. And it was this season was a battle between good and evil because what happened was there was this MAGA alliance kind of always it's a reflection. It's a microcosm of American society. And this season really, like the finals, there was this sort of Goliath. And then there was this little woman called Aubrey, who I've watched play for four or five seasons, who's just this little woman.

She's always kind of, she's like the every woman where she's like, I have stomach problems. She's like, I feel sick. I'm sunburned. Like, I'm anxious. Like, I just relate to this woman. She rarely wins a challenge, but she's a social mastermind. And she always gets really far. And this season, it came down to like, a.

challenge where this beast man who is sort of a misogynist. He used to be a bodyguard for Roy Moore, the far right politician. Yeah. So he's he's in it's between her and him really and they're in this final challenge and Aubrey you're like come on Aubrey you can do this. It's like balls catching balls and then she says to the camera she's like oh my God. Wait what do you mean balls catching balls? That's just supposed to I mean that is a good question too. I was like you know it's like Balls catching balls. Okay, so it's like a...

Yeah, I don't care, actually. Okay, go ahead. Balls catching balls. It's a marble run where you have to catch them and add balls and be really quick. And she finds out what this challenge is, and this is a crucial moment in the game where, and there's three guys and her. So final four, and all the three guys are saying to each other, basically we want a guy to win. The three of us will kick out Aubrey. She's no way she's going to win immunity.

She sees the challenge and then she says to the camera, she's like, oh, my God. I feel like she's going to win. Yeah, it feels like we're being set up for her to win. Yeah, that's how I'm feeling for it. Yeah, yeah. But she goes, I bought this challenge on Etsy to practice it, but just in case it came up and she's like, I can do this. I've done it for, I practiced for months. And then everyone's like, classic her.

And she nails it. And it's like that. People are like, that's, oh, what a lucky choice. That's not a lot. That's preparedness. That's hard work. Because they're bringing in past games as well. Yeah.

Like how did she know to buy this game? It was a previous game in another season. They often repeat games. Oh, okay. Often. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. But then so, yeah, she wins.

And now this, this, it was just, I met her after. I was like in tears and I said, this is about more than the survivor. I was like this I don't know what I would have done. Wait, tears like what kind of tears? Like I think like crying. Right. But like what were you feeling? Joy.

Joy. Oh, okay. Relief. Like I went. Oh. It was like, oh, there's hope in the world. We're having a hard time connecting with this. Okay, okay.

Anyway, the point is it was big for me. If anyone's listening. It's big for me. That's all that matters. There's going to be like a percentage of our audience who are electrified by this. Most people won't be. No, they're a lot of fans of this show. Watching the interpersonal dynamics between all the previous players,

like, I'm sitting next to Ben, I'm sitting, you know. Bill was there. It's crazy. Yeah, Fortune Ben was there. Now, May, it's interesting hearing about this because For, not Fortune, Survivor isn't really on my, of course I know about it, but it's not anything I follow or watch, obviously. And while you're talking about it, it's that reminder of like, oh, right, these shows are about the interpersonal relationships and the like, and have you learned anything like watching the show of like, oh, how to deal like in social dynamics or I could manipulate this person in this way or I could become friends or insert myself.

And yeah, what kind of lessons have you learned? Thank you for asking. What a wonderful question. That's what interests me more. It's like what have you walked away with personally? I've learned so much. But the people who, the main lesson I've learned is that the people who win are the most adaptable fluid people.

Because if you carry a grudge for even a day, you're fucked. Because you might be left out of a vote. Your best friends voted off. And now you're alone on this tribe with all people who don't really want to play with you. If you sulk, you're done. But you can come back and go, guys. That was an amazing move. You got me.

Wow. Now moving forward, what should we do next? And those people go far. And having that fluidity and like every day is a new day, you could completely turn the game around. That's interesting. Let you make your own luck, you know? And do you feel like you're applying that or it's just like a lesson you're learning, kind of in a, you're observing that lesson going, huh, but I'm having trouble applying it.

Oh, I'm always having trouble applying it. But it's more like watching just there. There's, it's just so human. Everyone has different qualities that you see in yourself and stubbornness. And also you're like, oh my God, how would I do in the feeding sun, not eating, sleeping on the dirt? I can tell you right now. I'd not be good. Fortune would want her veggies.

Yeah. I mean, I'd be wanting to win those challenges where they, like, food is up for grabs. Oh, yeah, the rewards. Where they just like. Or you have to eat bugs. Yeah. You eat stuff until you throw up because you haven't been eating like that. Yeah.

You know who was there at the finale was Adam Scott. I saw him. He's a big fan. Yeah. And Gail King is a big fan. Big fan of Survivor or of you? Survivor. Okay.

No one was excited. I was nothing in the room. It was so nice. Like there's such a deep fandom there. And so it was like, I'm sitting next to this guy, Todd Herzog, who won season like, four or something. Todd was there. Yeah.

And he to me is like the biggest deal. So it was great. Yeah. Wow. And nice to be there with Parva. Yeah. Parv and I are doing good. Good, good.

I feel like I haven't talked about it on the pod. Yeah. I mean, you've hinted at some things. Anything you want to say. Well, in a way, I feel like I learned my lesson last time by talking so much about her. and then that was tough. But we've never really fully disconnected for a long period of time. We've stayed in each other's lives and part of the best and people are complicated.

And it's feeling really good. People are complicated. We've always been like full of respect for each other and care. So yeah, it's been nice. Yeah. I mean, we'll keep you posted. Yes. Well, you know, this is a podcast where we talk about a lot of things.

And as far as what people share about their own lives is always your call. And, you know, sometimes we're in a podcast that as people have seen where life is happening around us. And sometimes it's complicated and tough. And it's hard not to like want to talk about it, but also like trying to like have some boundaries and, you know. That's it. Like I don't want to feel like I'm being coy and like not. because it so I just yeah yeah I mean it's yeah you gotta there's personal I don't I'm not talked to at all about like my situation is in any more than just like the effect of it not being a current relationship

it's just you know some things have to be for yourself and that's just what it is but I'm really happy anyway so that's good well that's good that's that's what matters but mainly I'm happy in myself you know individual that that's that's important yeah Because you have to feel good about yourself. That will also dictate how people treat you, not in your, you know, that relationship just in general. Yeah, that's wise fortune. I like that.

Wise, wise fortune. The better we feel about ourselves, the less we're willing to put up with people not, you know, treating as well. Also, did you know that in Michigan, there's a town called Hell that's being sold for $66,000? And it's like a tourist attraction called Hell Michigan. And it's like they have a church and they have where you can get married.

They have a mini golf course. And this guy, John Cologne, of course, that's his name. He's 80 and he's like, I don't want to run Hell Michigan anymore. Can someone else take it over? So I was wondering if you guys wanted to go in with me. I love that one guy was running the show there. Yeah, it was just this guy. He's got seven acres and he's made it a little town.

Oh, so the entire town is just his property. of seven acres. Okay. Because I was like, how does one person become in charge of an entire town? Yeah. I think it's all him. I'm down.

Do we know if he named it that? That's a good question. But maybe we could do wellness weekend at hell. I mean, clearly he's leaning into it for that to be the sell price. Yeah, like the door, the welcome says like, well, these are the gates of hell. He looks like a funny guy.

There's all these eccentric people, all over America. This is a centric guy who's like, I'm tired of running this place. Yeah. I'm ready to hang it up, let somebody else take over hell. Yeah. People that don't like him are like, he's literally the devil. Yeah.

The guy that runs hell. What were you going to say, mate? Well, I'm just over-excited and telling you all my news. But yesterday I went to Brett Goldstein's premiere of his Jennifer Lopez movie. Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez. I saw that. You were on the red carpet with your friends and looking very dapper and handsome. Thank you. But it was so good and I'm so proud of him. But I met the person I was most excited to me. It was Abby from Love on the Spectrum. Oh, yeah. That was amazing. She was cute. She was so great. And her mom knew who I was, which was an in for me so I could say hi. And I said, I'm such a big fan, Abby. And she said, that means the world to me. And I, yeah, it was lovely. Look at you. Yeah, I love it.

Did you ever watch any of those shows, TIG? Tick, have you? No. Oh, I think you'd really love them. I think you would too. I don't doubt that I would. I just, um, I don't know how to quite explain that nothing like that ever crosses my mind. Nothing, nothing matters.

It never occurred to you to watch it. It just would never. I don't know how to tell you guys that nothing like that matters to me. I don't care about your TV shows. I've almost almost a month, not on social media. I'm feeling. Totally fine. It's like it never even happened.

Wow. I've switched to an Apple Watch, which I did a couple of months ago. But I, what's that for? Well, I have the Apple Watch where you don't need to have your phone with you. So I just don't have a phone with me. And I just have an Apple Watch and I don't have many options on it. it. And so I just am completely out of touch. I love that. And it's just, it's been such a nice experiment. Obviously, I'm like emailing out like on my flight out to Orlando. Those are always

really great moments to catch up on emails and everything. But the, whatever. I'm just, scrolling. Yeah, I just, I, as I mentioned, that kind of influx of information I wasn't even looking for, it really hit me on a deep, deep level. And, uh, and that's not to say I'm not, um, seeking out, you know, like I, news looked in, oh, yeah, sure, I seek out news, um, but also like after the Colbert finale, I went and looked at, um, clips on YouTube. And, um, um, Yeah, I don't know. I just feel, and I always want to say I could end up TikTok, tick tomorrow.

But for right now, yeah, for right now, I'm just really enjoying the distance from everything and taking in things just very differently. Yeah. I wonder what that would feel like for me because, like, for instance, the Hell Michigan thing. That's like, that feels like. that feels like pressing news to me. Like that I had to, I made a note of it in my phone and it's like I'm seeing thousands of those things a day.

I must have scroll past that and be like, oh, and then wrote it down. It's like, what if I just made space of all that trivia and little things? Yeah. Oh, it depends on what you're looking for. You know, have as many May facts. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I do have a lot of books. A lot of fact books from tour that people gave me. Oh, real. quick. I was, Stephanie and I were at a wedding this last weekend. And, you know, the comedian, yes, you do. Otzko, Okotska. She and her husband were there. And she was joking that, because she was like, oh, I say you're not on Instagram anymore. And I said, oh, yeah. And she goes, well, I'm going to start doing proof of life when I see you. Yeah. Just post things of you. TIG was last seen in Montecito.

Yeah, I thought that was really funny. That's really good. At least you have this podcast, people will know you're still what you're up to. Well, yeah, obviously, it's not like I'm erased from the internet or anything. You will not exist if you're not on the internet. What if you just started like fading, like just becoming kind of translucent and then fading. I'm open to it. Yeah.

To becoming a vapor. Yeah. Whatever. Sure. I'm curious to head down different roads, see what's down there. This episode of Handsome is brought to you by Wildgrain. Wild grain is the first baked from frozen subscription box for sourdough breads, artisanal pastries, and fresh pastas. Unlike many store-bought options, Wildcrain uses simple ingredients that you can pronounce. Plus, all items conveniently bake in 25 minutes or less with no thawing required.

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That's $30 off your first box and free croissants for life when you visit wildgrain.com slash handsome or you can use promo code handsome at checkout. In partnership with Airbnb, let's talk about our spring travel plans. Fortune, I feel like every summer my family gets a little bit more adventurous with our travel plans. But there's a hitch. Oh, yeah? What might that be? They're now getting really into competitive sports, and that means we're now traveling around their team's schedules. Hmm, let me guess. They're having you stay in a bare bones hotel on the side of a highway somewhere? That's right. So for the next big weekend, we decided to mix things up and find a home on Airbnb to stay at instead. We found a place with a massive

yards so they could keep playing baseball with their pals on the team day and night. Plus, it's got a pool, unlike the hotel we were supposed to stay at. It's even got a tree house. Wow, that sounds incredible. But I have one important question for you. Is there a hot tub? Oh, fortune. There is indeed a hot tub. So maybe after the boys go to bed, Stephanie and I will have some tub time together. And that's what I love about finding a place on Airbnb. Instead of being trapped in our room, we get this whole unique experience. So if you're listening, go check out Airbnb and have your own adventure. Your outdoor space should feel like you. I'm still getting my new place set up.

And as the weather's getting warmer, I'm now turning my attention to my outdoor areas. That's where Wayfair has been a game changer for me. With Wayfair, I've been able to find pieces that match the exact feel I'm going for. So now I'm so set up, I feel like I have a whole extra living room to my house that just happens to be outdoors. Whether your vibe is modern coastal farmhouse or eclectic, Wayfair has options to help you create an outdoor space that's uniquely yours. Wayfair makes it simple to narrow down to what works for your style and budget. We got a couple deck chairs for our upstairs porch that are perfect for lounging with a book. We had some very specific dimensions to work with, but Wayfair's filters made it easy to find something that was exactly the right size.

patio season is here and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. But it is, it's, I have to say I'm genuinely enjoying this transition I've been doing of, like I said, a few months ago, move to Apple Watch and then it all. also naturally came up where I was like, I don't want to be on social media. And yeah, it just feels good.

This is a boring question, but can you use your Apple Watch to get your maps in your car? You know what I mean? Yeah. You can navigate and just use it. Okay, cool. Yeah. And you can, there's, you know, you have choices of what you have. And I try to just have not inundated by, you know.

Yeah. Okay. email stuff. I'm driving a lot and I'm like I love the maps. I love the little, I have a little British voice going, Sunset Boulevard. I wish it was Debbie or Paul McCartney. Okay.

Well, you definitely need to know where you're going. Yeah. That was a, that was a good Paul accent. I'll try to work on mine. I just listened to a podcast with him talking about what it was like in in Liverpool growing up post-war and what effect that. had on their music. I'm trying to listen to less true crime, like inspired by you, TIG, and what you're taken in. I'm listening to less horrific true crime. And instead, I'm listening to

like World War I podcasts and stuff and that are equally grotesque and awful. But in a way, it's reassuring because things feel so cruel sometimes now. And then you're like, oh, it's always been really bad. It's always been. The trenches were not good. People used to get regularly beheaded. Yeah, regularly. Yeah. And people would watch and be into it. Yeah. They'd be cheering.

Yeah. Yeah. So at least. Yeah. At least that's also still happening in some places. Yeah. But yeah, it's just like it's there's so much dreadful history in the world. And it is, like you said, it is oddly reassuring to know that it's always been bad.

And it's kind of interesting. Like I'm onto the French Revolution now, which is always interesting, but you're like, okay, what point did it have to get to for the people to? But then they've beheaded all these. Well, Marie Antoinette I'm interested in because I didn't realize she was like 12 when she got married to another 12 year old. They were, it was like she was Austrian. Wait, they were both 12? They were both about 12, 13.

And he was, I think, Louis the 15th in France. and they married them off to sort of align the two countries. And then she became this crazy projection of everybody's rage and desire. And yeah, and she's pretty interesting. I want to watch that movie. Kind of like me. Exactly like that. Oh, my God.

I love that. That's funny. That was funny what you said. That was. Should we get our story? to our question. Let's do it. Today's question is brought to you by AT&T. Today's question ask her is a comedian, an actor who starred in the FX comedy baskets and played the title character in the animated TV show, Carol in the End of the World. She was nominated for an Emmy for her work in Euphoria and stars in the

third season of the show Out Now. Martha Kelly is asking today's question. And I have to say, Martha is a dear old pal of mine. We came up in the early days, like open mics with like Zach Galfanakis and Maria Bamford and Martha was always like just the most

ridiculous person that was so nervous stood outside of the spotlight I think even once hid behind a bookshelf on stage but she and I have such a history together and touring she and I

I did this knock, knock, it's Tignotaro tour on Showtime where we went and did people's homes, like our fan base. We went and performed in their homes. And Martha and I always would get in little fights where she wouldn't allow me to drive my own car. And endless, endless. I know we have to get into her thing. But like one time Martha was on a diet where she could. only had like strictly a strictly potato diet no and um and and she she's you know she's she's she's very

much like I need this and we have to get this and so we were driving around looking for a potato and we pulled over there were two other comedians with us we pull over we all stand in this long line to order our food we all get our food get back in the um van and she is outrage gets in the car. They didn't serve potatoes. And all of us in the car, the rest of the comedians, we all have our food and we're just chowing down. And she is, she's like, you know, the angry mom carpooling, like peeling out in the minivan that we're in tour. And we all got very quiet and like, oh man, we can't mess with her. She hasn't had her potato today. But she also, God, makes me laugh so hard.

And I don't know, people might know her more as an actor now, but man, is she a funny stand-up? She's funny walking through the world and acting, stand-to-everything. She's just a delightfully ridiculous human being that I adore so. I remember Knock Knock Get Stinaught. I remember that. And John Doar did some? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Martha just makes a, Martha makes an appearance, I think, in the very beginning of it. Okay. I want to rewatch. Yeah. Anyway. Martha Kelly.

Hi, I'm Martha Kelly. I'm on Euphoria. And my question is for each of you to answer individually, if you were trapped on a desert island with one of the chipmongers. chipmunks, would it be, would you choose Alvin, Simon, or Theodore? And unfortunately, this is not hypothetical. I have already paid the contracts. You are each going to be kidnapped and stranded on a desert island. So please answer seriously because your future depends on it. Oh, no. Oh, no. I wouldn't mind. I don't want to be on a desert island. I'm too fair-skinned. I want to see what I'm made of. And I like the idea that if you're kidnapped on an island,

and no one could be mad at you. You know, you're like, and no one can be attracted to either, May. Exactly. You're not a projection of everyone's rage and desire anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe.

Trying to survive. I love that Martha thinks she just assumes we know the chipmunks. The chipmugs. You guys are going to have a lot to say about the chipmonds. Oh, boy, this is going to really open up a conversation. I mean, this definitely, I don't know how we're going to fit in all the things we have to say about the chipmunks in this episode. I know. I have so much to say.

Did any of you watch the chipmunks growing up? I saw it. My father-in-law is very into the chipmunks and he's shown Max and Finn. And I feel like it's, is it that kind of older kind of show, Thomas? They brought it back. They brought it back. But now, but it used to be in the 80s. right?

Yeah, well, like when I was growing, when I was young, it was like a popular cartoon on TV, but like in our, in, I don't know, 15 years ago, they made a animated movie of it, right? Oh, okay. Or 10 years ago, I don't know how long it was. Yeah, it started in 1958 as novelty records with like the sped up squeaky voices. Yeah, so this is my father-in-law's time. And then the first show was in the early 60s. Yeah.

And then there was that Christmas. song. What is it? I want a hula song. We can't wait. Please Christmas don't be late.

Yep. Wow. That doesn't even sound remotely familiar to me. I can't do the Chimunk voice. It's too weird. The hula hoop thing sounded familiar to me.

So, Thomas. Well, you've probably heard of hula hoops. Yeah. Because, you know, there's the Alvin! No, I don't know that. The father.

The human that they live with is always annoyed. They have a human father or something. They have a human father? Just a friend. Just a friend. Oh, it's a friend? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like a father figure.

A human friend. That always yelled at Alvin. It wasn't Alvin kind of the like mischievous one? Well, Thomas has sent a link here. So just briefly. I'm just going with Alvin. Okay. I take Alvin.

Alvin. Well, we have to, let us go through what each shipwhip is real quick. The main qualities of each. Okay, we got. This feels like a version of the Golden Girls situation. It's like, what are we talking about? So Alvin's like the troublemaker, the leader, the term look before you leap does not apply to him. He's an emotional roller coaster. He's enthusiastic. He's kind of greedy and selfish, but he loves his brothers.

And he's fearless and he'll stick up for them. He does not like anybody. touching his cap and he has no trouble in saying don't touch the cap okay okay Simon Civil Simon is the oldest nerdy one he's tall he's the middle child and he's sorry not oldest he's an IQ bigger than Einstein and he's got a dry sense of humor and a keen wit and he's a chess master and Simon worries a little bit he worries about everyone what if we found out that May was just riffing all this anyway He may remembers all of this.

And then Theodore is the youngest, and he's innocent. He's loving, gullible, trusting, naive. He often is the peacemaker between his two brothers and appeals to Theodore's better nature. And his sweet nature makes him an easy target for bullies. But then they'll have to answer to his big brothers. His color is green. Can you repeat those again? For real?

Do you guys resonate with any of those? Well, I'm thinking about being stranded on Desert Island. You don't want someone greedy and who doesn't think before they leap. I think you want, I'm going with Theodore, even though he's serious and nerdy. I think I want Simon. You want Sweetwell Simon. I want Simon because he's so smart. No, Theodore is smart.

Oh, I felt Simon was smart. Simon is smart. Yeah, Simon has the Einstein. Oh, my God, you're right. Okay, I'm going Simon as well, sorry. Nobody wants Theodore? Well, you're trying to survive. You don't want to be looking after.

Theodore is the peacemaker. We don't need to get along. We just need to survive. Yeah. But Almond does seem like he would be fun. Yeah, he is. So, like, he would keep things lively. Theodore might just be too boring.

Wait a minute. This human is their father. It says Dave Seville. Like any other single parent trying to raise three kids. Single dad trying to raise three chipmunks. It's not easy. How do these shows get greenlit? Well, starting the 60s.

It was popular when I was a kid. I know, man. That's what he would yell. And I was like, man, must be hard to be a single dad. Yeah. You know, all those single dads out there raising three chipmunks. So where is his, his wife? My wife must have been a chipmunk, right?

That's what's worrying me. I don't think that the dad, I don't think biologically he's the dad. I think he, I think, you know, how chipmunks kind of make their way places. Oh, he adopted them. He adopted them. Yeah, let's not get crazy here. Okay, okay. I haven't, I honestly have not thought about the chipmunks in so long.

It's so. Since Christmas time. Yeah. Of course, I listen to that song every Christmas. It's funny, though, because I have not thought about any chipmunk in forever, but I just went to the zoo. And I haven't been to the zoo in forever. By yourself? And I know with some friends, and I kept seeing chipmunks running around.

I love it. I love a little chipmunk. They're so cute. I couldn't believe. Luckily, the zoo was a very, like, you know, sometimes you're about zoos and they seem like depressing. Yeah. This is the Atlanta Zoo run very well. and the habitats are amazing.

You can tell these animals are well cared for. I couldn't believe how childlike I became at the zoo. Look, look at the orangutan over there. Oh, my God. Yes. Look at the, you know, I'm just like, I became a legit seven-year-old. So pumped for every animal. Okay, Thomas, put it on the list.

We got to take fortune to the zoo because I need to see that version of you, Fortune. Look at the tiger. Look at the tiger. Or we could just replay this. Yeah, true. We could edit in pictures of different animals and then show Fortune. Oh, my gosh. Can social media make that video where a fortune is saying different animals and then they show a picture of the animal quickly?

Can you do an elephant in Fortune? Do the elephants? Oh, my God. And giraffe. Zebras. I was like every single animal, I'd acted like I've never seen this animal before. And if they were like hiding in any crevice, I was like, you can see the tail. Look, look, look. And I was not doing this to be funny.

I legit was like so present at the zoo in a way I've not experienced with myself in a very long time. Oh, I love that. And then I love that even adults, like when you're leaving the zoo, the question is always what was your favorite animal? Like which was your favorite? Which was? Mine was definitely the orangutang. Yeah. I mean, all the monkeys, it was very fun to see them, the chimps climbing on each other.

Amazing. You know, the lions were right by the window and their paws are just so massive. It's like crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I was very impressed with their setup there. They put a lot of care and money into the zoo, I think. Yeah. I don't like the reptiles. Really?

Not into those. You don't like the cold-blooded. I went into the little hall with all the snakes and the Komodo dragon. If someone came up behind you and you were looking at a snake and went, would you jump to the, yeah. Wait, so now I'm fortunate. So socials can edit in like the reptile hall. Can you do your reaction to?

Yeah, great, great, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom had a black snake climb up her door last week. And black snakes are, of all the snakes, that's the friendliest one. You want them around because they help with your garden and they kill like predators and yada yada. But still, it's a big ass snake. This was a massive snake. It climbed up her door and it coiled itself around her door handle.

Oh, whoa. Good. Not no. She was inside. It was a screen door. and her friend happened to see it and they were like, well, we're not leaving. That snake stayed there for like an hour and a half. My mom was just like trapped in her home for an hour.

That's like a, you know, the beginning maybe of a horror film. Yeah. I don't know. Never mind. I don't want to go wide with that pitch. I like the idea of being on a desert island with a chipmunk because they could get to the places that you can. get to like they could get the coconuts from the tree they could go into little caves and find things for you to eat hopefully thank you for bringing this back full circle that's may trying to get

out of this episode no no i would if it were up to me i would live in this episode that you could not get this is true yeah yeah but yeah i don't know about this contract that we have to be stuck on a deserted island oh my gosh it's funny that Martha said a contract because we have an ongoing joke over the years of anything terrible that happens in life. We're always like, where do I sign? That's good. Oh, because we were presented a very bad contract once to buy a project that we were pitching. And that might be where that started was where do I sign.

Because they were like, signed here and you'll have no ownership over. It will give you $0. Yeah, we're going to go straight into production. Yeah. Where do I sign? Do you think Martha has an answer? I would say Martha's Alvin. Really?

Let's see what Martha thinks. Well, she likes to have a good time. Yeah, she seems like she'd be a little mischievous. Yeah. Have some laughs. But I'm just thinking not in terms of company, in terms of survival. You want the smart. Unless you're going to cook and eat.

the chipmunk. No. Well, see, I have to laugh and have a good time in order to survive. Yeah, that's true. That's going to keep me going is to have that kind of joy in my heart. I just feel like Alvin wouldn't really want to contribute to the like duties. I know. That's my concern.

When they're so fun, they usually have gotten by on their personality and they haven't had to do anything. Yeah, but they can come up with ways to. they're thinking outside of the box. Yeah. Okay. Let's hear what Martha has to say. And then should I do my answer? Yes.

So I'm also, I paid to be kidnapped to go on a desert island and I chose Theodore. I do feel like he would be my soulmate. I love all three of the chipmunks. But Theodore and I have a shared passion for pizza and cookies and cheese. and Cheetos and just sitting around having a great time. And so I actually can't wait to go and spend time with him. Okay. I just found out through this video that Martha is no longer vegan.

Oh, yeah. She had called me to help her start her vegan diet. Yeah. And it seems like maybe she's off the wagon. She's even, she's off the potato wagon too, apparently. Well, that's a difficult one to maintain. It sure was. Try going on tour with somebody who needs a potato for every meal.

That would be, that would be, um, very tough to accommodate. I'm just like, you're not eating a potato today. I can't think of any nutritional reason why that would be advised as a diet, but just potatoes. You, you don't ask any questions. Martha's got a new, um, Diet she's trying, you just get on board and you spend your time on tour looking for that potato. Well, and if she does Theodore, then somebody's chosen everybody at this point, right? Yeah.

Yeah. It's like Simon's got to choose between me and Fortune. That's right. Or we're all stuck together. Oh, great. Oh, my gosh. Who is Simon going to choose? I don't know.

I don't know. Probably May. No, probably, May's watched all this survive. and probably has picked up a few pointers. Yeah, but you've watched all the album in the Alvin and the Chipmunks. And I did go to the zoo. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

I'm allergic to coconuts, which will really... Oh, that's going to be hard because we will rely on coconuts and its water. This is why I couldn't play Survivor because they survive off coconut. That's the only reason that I wouldn't have. The only reason. Coconut is between you and Survivor. Me and a million bucks. Being a part of Survivor would be my literal nightmare.

Me being on that show would be like, what did I do wrong? How did I get punished in order to be here? But isn't it crazy that Mike White went back, season 50? He played for the second time and he was literally... Season 50? Yes, thank you. That's a huge deal. Season 50th.

Right. I think you mentioned that. So Mike White, he was writing White and went back and did it. Not great. He didn't make it to the jury, but I think there was a big target on his back, you know. Do celebrities typically go on Survivor? No, I think he is the only celebrity. Well, Elizabeth Hasselbeck became a celebrity after playing. But no, no one.

Is she still a celebrity? She's sort of. I don't know where she went, kind of went. She's still like doing journalism stuff? Like presenting. Or interviewing stuff? But they should do a celebrity season of, I would respect anyone who, would be that exposed.

You have no control over the edit. You got no makeup. You're true person. No makeup. No clear mask. That would be a big deal for me. No clear mascara. Oh, no.

No lip tape. Yeah. Yeah, you can't be on an island without your face on. I don't have any lip taint. But I know like Nick Offerman and Megamilomal are big fans. Like, I'd love to see them play or,

um, I could see it to see their dynamic. Uh-huh. That would be great. Yeah. Well, lovely. Well,

I mean, that's the thing about this podcast. You never know what we're going to end up talking about because we never know what people were going to ask us. Yeah. We had no idea. Martha Kelly was going to ask us about Alvin and the chipmunks. We did not see that coming.

But now that it's happened, it makes sense. That's right. Yeah, now I'm glad about it. It makes sense. Well, wonderful to see you, friends. Wonderful to see you, TIG. Yeah.

Fortune have the best time in Europe. Thank you. If anybody cares, I will be doing some shows in Los Angeles. I'm also going to be in Rochester, Colorado Springs, Calgary, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia. the road goes on forever. Please come out and say hello right to my face from your seat. But don't say it actually from your seat. You know, let me do my show.

Right. If anyone wants to make a little road trip, wouldn't it be fun if we just went nuts and sold out these festivals? I'm playing music at the Hillside Festival in Guelph on the 17th of July. And on the 19th, I'm in yellow. Yellowknife doing a music festival. And then I'm going to be at Just for Laughs in Montreal right after that. But oh my God, how cool if a bunch of people just showed up in Yellowknife.

That would be great. Oh my God, got to. Yeah. I just have a few shows, June 18th and 19th, Portland, Maine, and Detroit, Michigan, June 20th. And then Red Bank, New Jersey, August 8th. And that's it until I figure out the rest of my tour. But also coming up, my show that I did with Will Ferris. is going to be airing on Netflix in a couple weeks called the hot.

Guys, also, we have new merch for Pride Month. Yeah. Handsompod.com. We've got a tie-dye t-shirt, a bandana, a new hat, and a tank top. And they're good. They're real fun. Yeah, they're really good. We got some good stuff.

And don't forget to watch us on Hulu one day early. What a podcast. Make sure you subscribe, rate, review. Send your favorite episodes. to your loved ones, help us build this handsome community. And until next time, Keep it handsome. Hansom is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feemster.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod.g.com, and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if my mom has something to keep her busy while I'm podcasting at her house. Oops.

Turns out, Ginger has some opinions she wants to share on the podcast, but she doesn't have a microphone. At least not yet. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American insurance.

Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode.

We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot.

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.