Handsome - Mike Birbiglia asks about adult surprises

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

Mike Birbiglia wants to know about adult surprises-- listen and find out what that means! Plus drinking turquoise, the Pied Piper of Hamelin, and learning about weddings by way of Prince! WE HAVE MERCH! handsomepod.comHandsome Live Streaming Show Dec 18! Tickets: dynastytypewriter.comHandsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello there, it's Tig Notaro and I'm sitting here with my co-hosts, Fortune Famester. Hello there, it's Mae Martin as well. And you're listening to Handsome. The Handsome Pod! Woo! That's us. You can really hear when people are smiling while they're talking. Like, I really heard, and you're listening to hands.

I heard the smile. Yeah. You're keeping it smooth and sexy, but fun. Smiling on through with smooth jazz. I have a lot of energy this morning. Why? with smooth jazz i have a lot of energy this morning why i don't really know because mornings i'm not like a typical like morning person okay you're atypical yeah and maybe that's the stand-up in me yeah i'm a night owl when do you go to bed like midnight i don't know

if that counts as night owl really to go to bed at midnight well especially late that's an early night for me may what what's your bedtime well it's changing and evolving now especially i'm in the writer's room again but normally i can't get to bed to like 2 2 30 oh that is a night owl i know and then i wake up like 9 30 kind of but okay why did you shoot out of bed this morning like a little uh i don't know popping candy like a pretty little lady yeah i was excited to see you guys girl skipping around as you make your coffee yeah i do make coffee i used to go buy it because i'm a big coffee person i love espresso and i used to go buy it and it's pretty expensive

if you buy it like every day yeah so i got one of those like um barista machines oh nice so maybe that's why i'm in a good mood i had my coffee what do you guys wear to sleep oh may i can't finally yeah i'm picturing taking a matching set of pjs with a little and a little hat but now we're getting to the nitty gritty what does everyone wear to bed i'll tell you right now tell us just just my ponties for real just that yeah really ponties yeah yeah that's i like that yeah yeah me too no onesie yeah you too bro you go night night in your ponties yeah cool me too bro you go night night in your ponties all right all right dude i'm gonna go night night in my ponties no i'm uh in the uh like the boy shorts and uh a t-shirt yeah what do you do may that's what

is on everyone's mind uh full leather no i go uh i go boy short like boxers and t-shirt i think i slept fully naked as a kid until like too late like until maybe 13 i was just getting up in the morning fully naked going making my tea making your coffee yeah it was i loved being naked nary a pound to nary a pound to be seen are you strike me as someone who doesn't mind being naked still still though yeah you know what i well before like top surgery and stuff i felt confident naked but not confident in clothes like i but once i'm naked i know what what i'm up to yeah i don't know what that means what i just said once i'm naked i'm i know what i'm out yeah like i feel once i'm naked i have no clue what i'm up to that is i've lost me i love once i'm naked i know what i'm up to

that's i don't know what i meant by that like sexy sexy time i assume no yeah more merch yeah once i'm naked i think the clothes made me feel more awkward and yeah yeah no i don't mind being naked yeah yeah i'm a lights off kind of girl what is lights oh lights off i thought you said light soft i'm like a light soft kind of girl when i've had my panties i like the lights very soft yeah no i don't i'm not this is not a body that likes to be naked well i don't like to sleep naked because I want to be ready for anything. Like if zombies come or a murderer. Zombs.

Zombs. Great memory. Yeah, if Zombs come, I want to be able to jump up and fight them. I was thinking more like earthquakes, but sure, Zombs. Well, so am I in a real situation because I'm just sleeping in my ponties? Well, you definitely need a pair of shoes nearby and maybe a pair of pants. I always have my little slippers next to the bed. Do they have little bunny ears on them?

Might as well. I do like the visual of you just in your panties and slippers outside with like everyone else who's like just endured an earthquake and you're in bunny rabbit slippers you're like guys that was that was shaky 5.5 anyone else's hair get messed up yeah so am i a little is it too vulnerable to just be in ponties? It's all about how you feel. You know, if you feel like you could take on a zombie in your ponties, I'm not going to stop you.

Taking on a zombie in my ponties. Yeah, I could do it. How did you wake up feeling this morning, Tig? Like full of beans or? A little tired. Yeah. I am not a heavy drinker and I had a skinny margarita last night.

Ooh. And I'm noticing that, it's not turquoise, tequila. Tequila really makes me sleep. Mm-hmm. Oh. Because it's supposed to be one of the uppers. Yeah. And then I read, found a May fact online, how tequila is really helpful with sleeping.

Really? I did not know that. And so when I have a margarita, which is my go-to when I'm down to party, my next morning I'm a little like, oh, boy. Not hungover, but it just makes, yeah. I'm just, I'm not a big boo sound. Well, I know that because you called tequila turquoise. I drank some turquoise last night.

Whew. And I've never looked better that i guess is a real tell but yeah that's how i woke up a little little groggy and um we're going to my sister-in-law's wedding and so this morning i got to see a real cute parade oh you saw the little suits that are gonna be worn the three-piece yes texas i mean oh my god god help me when i saw parading through the bedroom oh i love that i love a kid in a three-piece suit. It's so cute. Or like little Nikes. Uh-huh. I like a baby in Nikes. Oh. Yeah, they can only wear them for like two weeks.

Like not as cute as baby in Adidas? I mean, I like an Adidas situation too. Okay, just like a sneaker. So are they in the wedding? Or this is just that? Yeah. They are? What are their duties? I think they're, you know, I don't know.

You're like, what happens at weddings? I don't know. You're like, I'm still drunk from my skinny turquoise. Yeah. I had a skinny margarita 18 hours ago. Don't talk to me. They either have flower't know they're officiating they're officiating god that would be amazing if they were officiating they're like dearly beloved do you wait that's a funeral oh my bad oh no that's a wedding wait Wait, we don't know.

No, we do because of Prince. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here. We are gathered here today. Yeah, it's a wedding. Yes, it's a wedding. We only know what a wedding is based on Prince. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today. Do you get asked a lot to officiate weddings?

I feel like that's something that people would ask you both. Yes. I have officiated weddings. have performed at weddings yeah i i got my um certificate oh whoa take just saw a ghost yeah no i was looking for my certificate on the wall and then i realized i didn't hang that up on the wall i've been asked to officiate weddings but i i mean i don't know the people yeah and i just feel like that's they should know the person yes also i'm a little busy also they gotta kick down the cash yeah i would that's the other thing is what kind of cash you talking oh man if the price was right. Cold hard cash. I'm talking cold hard cash, too. I don't think anyone wants me to officiate their wedding because they're scared I'd start

like talking about non-monogamy during the wedding. Oh, no. But I am. You know how like. What do you guys think of throuples? You know how you hear about like really famous people like just dropping in on weddings like they're in the same hotel. Yeah. Like Trump Hanks is walking by.

Imagine being that level of famous that you just know they're going to be happy to see me at this. Like that's a pet peeve of mine. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. It's pretty wild. Although I love Tom. I love what about it? You just don't like that.

You're just making such a I can't imagine doing that. I know.. I love Tom. But what about it? You just don't like the presumption. You're just making such a... I can't imagine doing that. I know. I can't imagine. Like when people photobomb somebody's wedding or interrupt something. Can you imagine the three of us walking in? It's a statement of like, I'm so famous or important. Special. The special that I can just barge in here i can't make this day about me yeah well it's just that you know people are gonna go oh my god

i don't know i know i'm with you but then as i said it i was like if i was getting married and like bet middler walked in I'd be glad she did. Yeah. Come on. I bet with like Tom, like a Tom Hanks situation, he might have been just like walking through and they're like, oh, my God. Tom, Tom, Tom, come here. Come here. Take a picture.

It might have been like that. Listen, I'm going to give Tom a pass. OK. But in general, I just think it's so it's so cheesy and presumptuous and you're just saying hey i'm such a big deal yeah because it's like who would you go in and in between some random couple when they're getting their engagement pictures and be like hey you know like if you weren't known they would they would not be amused they They'd be like, get out of, we're paying by the hour here. I'm learning how to use like a film camera, like, you know,

like for photographs. Yeah, camera. Yeah, camera. I was walking around Central Park by myself and taking pics and being all arty. And then there was a couple taking engagement photos and like a beautiful and I started taking tons of pictures of them and then I got too confident I was getting up too close like because it was just there was their official photographer like taking and they had lighting and everything and then I started really getting in there worming

my way in and oh my god and when I got the pictures developed like one of the pictures that I got developed the groom is just looking directly into my lens like fuck off yeah the photographer's like did you guys hire another competing photographer you should walk around with your business card and then you give it to them and then if they're interested in in buying the photo that you took yeah you're like i got some of the photo that you took. Yeah. You'd be like, I got some of the best shots. You're not going to want to miss out on these.

Here's my card and my Venmo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's all Tom Hanks jumping into people's photos. I want to be very clear here. I love Tom Hanks. Wow. Yeah, it felt like you didn't for a second. Don't you dare that i love you clear and i did say i i would i give him a pass true and you are you are a big rom-com gal i am a huge

rom-tom rom-tom rom-tom i love a good rom-tom. That is what it should be called. It should be. He and Meg Ryan need to bring it back. Make a rom-tom. Man, we really miss the boat on that being a popular word. What, rom-tom? Yeah. It sounds like Rumpelstiltskin.

We just got to get another big tom to be a romantic lead yeah okay i just got it i just i just oh wait you just understood i don't know what i was laughing at come on in come on in what did i say i go yeah like rumble stiltzkin what and we're like yeah exactly like rumble Yeah, exactly. Like Rumpelstiltskin. Two minutes later. Just got it. Oh, okay. Not like Rumpelstiltskin. Oh, Jesus. And I didn't even have a skinny turquoise last night.

Oh, my God. That is too funny. That is so funny. I love your bravery and admitting you got it two minutes later two minutes it was much longer than that i don't know i don't i'm not keeping watch on the clock yeah even using the word rumble still skin is such a reach. We've ignored you. You fully ignored me. That word never fits into conversation.

I know. It never comes up. Just like rumble still skin. We're like, what? Okay. I guess now's the time to wedge it into a conversation. Ah, yeah. Just like Ruffles still skin. Okay.

Where that came from is. Fortune, I have blank faces. I'm like crying right now. I'm finished. I was like, oh. Not like Ruffles still skin. We've been talking about it on the podcast. I've been treading water lately just a few minutes out of my day that i take for myself to do something that's good for me i wake up feeling better i have

more energy and you know small actions like that can have big benefits like how taking care of your gut can support whole body health. Well, Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic benefits your gut, skin, and heart health in just two little capsules a day. Now, I've been using Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic, and it's great. My skin feels better. I feel better. It's just good. So trust your gut with Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic. Go to seed.com slash handsome and use code 25handsome to get 25% off your first month. That's 25% off your first month of Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic at seed.com slash handsome code 25 handsome i love the show hacks and it is back baby for season three that's right we are gonna see what kind of antics deborah vance is up to this season she is such a treat to watch because um who doesn't love je Smart? She is so freaking talented. Now, season two left off with Ava being fired.

If you haven't watched any of Hacks, guess what? It's on Max. You can catch up, and I highly recommend that you do so before season three starts. There is also an official Hacks podcast. In each episode, Hacks creators Lucia Agnello, Paul yellow paul w downs and jen statsky speak with cast and crew members to unpack the emmy winning comedy series so check out that podcast but watch hacks streaming exclusively on max and listen to the official hacks podcast on max or wherever you get your podcast i think i kind of thought you guys were laughing at how

rom-tom sounds like rin tin tin or like oh god not even close you wandered off from the pack there i strayed oh my god yeah so rumplestiltskin yeah kind of like you say that name all the time when you're in preschool and then it never comes up again yeah same with rapunzel you talked about rapunzel before you definitely yeah you bring up like a fairy tale yeah hansel gretel all the greats all the great my friend's dad almost called her and her brother hansel and gretel when they were born that would be a cruel joke yeah was he at least german i don't know he's italian that was my father's name pasquale no way is that that's italian pasquale notaro pasquale a pizza pasta

that's all right pasquale pasquale kind of like rom-tom oh yeah pasquale like uh rumbles dill skin you've probably been reading fairy tales lately so that might be on your brain i really i'm very into like mythology and folklore on my own like very into the pied piper of hamlin as like an allegory for uh what happens if you don't look at darkness i have so i've been wait what well like i don't know i'm unfortunate rumple still skin stuff the pied piper of hamlin yeah that's right you know the pied piper dick wait you guys you guys know the pie no idea what you're talking about either just for the record wait are you serious i don't know this okay okay i mean i've heard the word pied piper yeah so what is hamlin That's where he's from.

Why are we trying to pretend like we don't have a side podcast about Hamlin and the Pied Piper? About mythology. Where we do a deep dive on it, okay? The Pied Piper's from Hamlin. You know what's crazy is I just literally listened to a podcast that was a deep dive on the Pied Piper of Hamlin. Seriously. Oh my God. And then on their download count, it just says one.

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, wonderful. Can't wait to dig my teeth into this. This podcast goes out to Mae Martin. I've only heard the phrase like you're gonna have to pay the answer to the pied pipe or pay the pied pipe or whatever that phrase is yeah so basically they had this rat problem in this small town oh boy may fact well this is a i don't even know if this is based in truth can't be who cares who cares fantasy, there should be a May fantasy.

And then so this guy, this sort of magical outsider shows up, all dressed in colorful robes and stuff. And he says, if you pay me this amount of money, I'll play my little pipe and I'll lead all the rats out of town. So he does and he leads them all away. And then the greedy townspeople don't pay him. And he had warned them. So then he plays his little pipe and all the children of the greedy townspeople don't pay him and he had warned them. Then he plays his little pipe and all the children of the town follow him

and he leads them into a mountain and they're never seen again. Wow, that went dark. All those fairy tales are so dark. Yeah, true. But I'm sorry to back up. You're into this story? You have follow-up questions?

I dig it. But like, okay uh you're into this story you have a follow-up question i dig it but like okay you can dig a story you have to pay the pied piper yeah so he doesn't kidnap your children fortune wants to get full circle to like why are we talking about the pipe and what's his venmo i don't know hamlin is where this took place i think so yeah okay well now we know the origin of that thank god i think like myths and fairy tales the reason they endure and and they resonate with us is that they speak they speak to some like inner truth that we know and they're they're helpful and they're meant to scare you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what?

Like the big bad wolf or itsy bitsy spider. Or rom-tum-tum. Or Ripple Van Winkle. What did Ripple still do? I forgot. He agreed to help this girl spin her hair into gold. And then he said,

is something about guessing his name if you if you guess my name and then she guessed it or something and then he stomped into the he stomped himself into the ground he was so mad oh he said give me your first born child unless you can guess my name whoa good night that's high stakes it takes going night night in her panties night night in my ponies. Night night in my ponies. After that story. And he's so angry, he stomped her into the ground. Do you have your ponies on?

Time to go night night. Oh my gosh. That's the best part about this podcast. We just really never know where we're going at some point. Oh my gosh. That's the best part about this podcast. We just really never know where we're going at some point. Should we go into our guest question? Yes, let's do it. Sure. Sure.

That's why we're here. All right. Our question for this episode is from my dear old pal. I don't know how tight you guys are with Mr. Mike Birbiglia. I don't know him well, but I really like him. Yeah. His one-man shows are really impressive. Oh, my gosh.

I think I just met him for the first time in Montreal. Yeah. But you know someone's like a comedian's comedian when people just call them Birbiglia, like by the last name. Yeah. When you know you've made it as a comedian, people start calling you Birbiglia. That's right, Mae. Hey, Birbigs.

Yeah, I have known Mike forever. And I just really admire his writing and performing, everything. He's so, so talented and a very nice guy. He's a stand-up actor, writer, director. You've seen him in the movies Sleepwalk With Me and A Man Called Otto with Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Yeah. He actually, Mike just released his latest stand-up special called The Old Man and the Pool, and you can watch that on Netflix. I can't wait. Let's hear Birbig's question. Hey, it's Mike Birbiglia. Okay, here's my question. What is the most surprising thing about being an adult that

would have surprised your childhood self? Like, What would your childhood self be most shocked about, about your adult self? So much. Most surprising thing about being an adult. I feel like for me, out of the gate, I would never have believed that I could pull my life together and be i feel like a good reliable partner and parent and just kind of keep the train moving you know because i was just so i don't know chaotic yeah it just my yeah i was

moving all the time this job that job you know i i can't believe that i took this turn and that i'm able to maintain yeah a relationship a family a career and all of that stuff you were more just kind of like flailing through the wind yeah like get my mail put it in a stack and then my electricity goes off and i'm like what what happened and then then i'm like oh right i got my mail and i didn't open my bills you know yeah i was that kind of person and that started young for you, right? You were like, yeah, dropping out of school. Like, so did you Yeah, did you imagine you were going to be a kind of, like, lone wolf hitchhiker? Like, you know what I mean? Well, I mean, I think when I was, you know, a lone wolf failure dropout, not really a lone wolf. I mean, I was I had a lot of great friends, but I was certainly not following a typical path, and I was just

failing and dropped out. And I didn't think I was going to have much for myself. And I think it was also because what was drilled into my head that if I didn't do these things, then I wouldn't have much for myself. But I also didn't want too much for myself. You didn't have like lofty goals? No. Oh my God.

You felt like allergic to the kind of prescribed. Yeah. Yeah, I was similar, I think. Yeah. Yeah, it was not for me. And I just thought, well, it's fine. I'll just have a little hatchback, live in a studio apartment, have just deliver pizza, and then just have my friends and girlfriend or maybe have a baby one day. but I didn't think I was going to be able to handle much more or have much more. And that includes the much more, meaning even ability to navigate my life.

Yeah. That's great then. When do you think the turning point was? Did you feel a shift at some point into this new path? Or was it gradual? I think there's just been different shifts that have happened. I certainly could keep some things together in life. And I mean, I guess I had fantasies and dreams about something else. But I didn't believe that that would happen for me.

I wanted to do work in music business. I mean, my deep, dark secret was wanting to do stand up. But I my fantasy that I could share was that I wanted to work in music business. And so I had that kind of dream. And I I had some things under control in life but but I would say I remember I wrecked a friend's car and that really kind of made me wake up a little more like what am I I need to pull this together right you know and then that sent me into more of a traditional job while I was doing open mics, you know. But it felt good to have that desk job that I had a reliable income and that kind of stuff.

Because I just felt really bad about myself when I wrecked that car. Yeah. Fortune, do you remember when you were a kid what how you pictured your life i remember growing up feeling like there's gotta be more there was always something missing but i think my childhood was sort of over like the the thing that was kind of the shadow over it was just not knowing who i was so i could never like live my life to the fullest in a certain way. Like I wasn't dating and I wasn't comfortable with myself because I didn't know myself. And a lot of that had to do with coming out later. I came out at 25 and I feel like, gosh, who even was I?

and I feel like, gosh, who even was I? Before then, I was just kind of always like, something's missing. And I never would have guessed that at some point in my life, I would have such a clear idea of who I am and have peace in that way. Because everything felt very chaotic, um discombobulated and yeah so i have a lot more peace um that i got once i became an adult and got to sort of be the captain of my own ship and make my own money and um make my own decisions i didn't i don't think i liked it in the hands of other people i like that uh both of you are like thinking about and and me too probably like about adulthood is happening like much later than like because the numbers are so arbitrary right

like 18 you're you're an adult but now they're saying your brain isn't fully formed till you're 27 like that actual transition into like i don't know self-assuredness and that happens a lot later i think for most people yeah, your 20s are insane. I feel like I was a different person almost. I was still like the essence of me was there. Like I was silly and I want to say I was kind and like I was still like kind of a good time gal, but in a very innocent kind of naive way.

But I definitely feel like that version of myself I almost look at my childhood and that self as like a different person yeah and I can kind of look back on her and give her grace and give her a little bit of a break because I was very hard on myself for a long time of not figuring it out and not knowing who I was. And why is this all feeling so all over the place? And, but you know, when you're a kid, a lot of things aren't in your control. You are at the mercy of adults, you know, figuring it out for a lot of things for you. So I think I liked it once I could take the reins. It's interesting how getting to know yourself in life, there's so many chapters of that.

Because once I really settled into who I was and was like, oh, okay, this is me. I'm like so on and into another chapter of learning who I am in a long-term relationship, learning who I am as a parent, learning who I am as a boss, learning who I am in all of these different ways. And it all morphs as it continues, too.

Authenticity is like when you're being closer to who you really are, then it feels like you get into like on a vinyl record, you kind of fall into the groove and things start happening more smoothly. And you know what I mean? And when you're out of alignment with with like, what who you actually are, then yeah, you're scratching all over the around the town. Yeah. Yeah. What about for you, Mae? I think as a a little kid i was a lot more in line with who i was because i was lucky i don't know i was lucky that i always said i wanted to be a comedian even when i was like little little and i was wearing three-piece suits and i was like silly and i was and then and then i think puberty fucked me over and then i was it just has taken me a long time to get back to who i was as a kid

like closer to who i was then you know closer to fine closer to fine and what do you what do you mean by puberty fucked you over well i think that that's like i grew my hair along i'd never had a long hair i'd i suddenly felt that pressure to conform so i grew my hair long for like three years or something around 13 yeah I got and got into drugs and got just got I mean probably also because my body started changing at puberty and I was a little tranny probably and I was like really upset by it and didn't know I just felt like so terrible about it and then if you're really off the rails and you you know then you're meeting shrinks and you get kind of into like the system of you know and then in rehab and stuff and people

are telling you like as soon as you sort of diagnose teenagers and throw around those things it really limits how you see your own potential and the possibilities for your life so when people are you know any labels do that, right? But if you're like, well, you're an addict and you're, you know, a compulsive liar or whatever, and it's like, yeah, I'm of course lying because I'm a teenager and I want to do drugs. But like those labels really fucked with me. Like I was like, oh, I'm a bad, I'm bad.

And so I never, I never thought about my life really beyond 30. I thought like I would just be being nuts and then probably something bad would happen so it's yeah been a nice like I'm surprised yeah that this feels like so that just the start of my life I you know yeah it's exciting that's awesome especially this is such a lame thing but doing improv again like it really taps into some silliness in me that yeah and I you know in the past sort of five or six years I've felt that with stand-up too and but I think for years I was not really myself on stage and it takes a while to figure that out and oh man and improv is just like tapping into some primal early part of myself doing dumb voices and

yeah like letting yourself be silly oh my god yeah that's the best yeah well we all got pretty deep the laughs all went away and we were like well i didn't find myself for another 10 years and then i was living on the streets. Literally. I wonder, do you think Mike probably intended us to be like, well, you know, bath time used to be fun as a kid. Well, I certainly never thought I'd be a stand up comedian. I mean, that to me seemed like not a real job. Yeah.

You know, that was like one of those Hollywood is some fanciful place. It might as well have been Narnia for me. Now you're starting to sound like Mae. Mae's rubbing off on me. I'm like, oh, you're talking about Aslan. Did somebody say Narnia? Did somebody say? Anything that you can say in this voice, did somebody say it?

I do remember in college I did, I was my college graduation speaker and I was kind of trying to be funny up top. I wasn't like a class clown, but I had moments of funny and I gave this speech and it made people laugh in the beginning and i remember that feeling like oh that's really cool and then i also it also had like a motivational bend to it and i was like even then i was like oh i want to be like a motivational speaker it never occurred to me like because i'd heard like Chris Farley. It's funny because it goes back to comedy. Hearing Chris Farley's character be like, I'm a motivational speaker. You're going to live in a van down by the river. And so I was like, I want to be a motivational speaker because I like using words to make people feel good.

Yeah. But I remember having that thought of like, well, that's impossible. That like, doesn't, how do you get a bunch of people to listen to you? How do you motivate people with the most tired voice? And with a microphone and just you.

Hey, you gotta get up. Oh, come on. Let's get going. I was like a, I was like a slow Come on, let's get going. I was like a slow Matthew McConaughey. All right, all right, all right. It's fortune and I'm here to motivate you.

You're gonna live in a van down by the river. And here we are. Here we are talking to people and they're listening. I feel like, how come kids always they always want to be vets? I wanted to. Did you? You wanted to be a vet? I did.

Yeah. And an architect. And I wanted to be the fifth beetle. Oh my god, that's good i think we would have been palestine i was like i was like deeply into the beetles and like as if i was the first person that discovered them like that was me like when i was in elementary school we had this friend that lived in england and it's so hilarious because, of course, we could buy Beatles records in the States, but he would come from England to visit us. And he would bring me and my brother Beatles records, Rolling Stones records, The Who.

And I got into the British invasion well after it happened. And I mean, I was so into all of that when I was in elementary school. My brother went a little more Stones and I went a little more Beatles. But yeah, if I was able to do a report on somebody, it was always John Lennon. I would have been like, who are the Beatles? Can we get some Jimmy Buffett going? You weren't into the Beatles as a kid? No.

Jimmy Buffett, huh? I mean, yeah. Or Vanilla Ice. I don't know what to tell you. Jimmy Buffett or Vanilla Ice, baby. And Alf, of course. Cherry Berry, Alf. My tastes were not refined yet.

Listen, Jimmy Buffett was a really great songwriter, and he's obviously very known for Margaritaville. Yeah, I'm out there yelling, salt, salt, salt. I've never heard this. Margaritaville? You don't know this? No. Oh, my God.

This is so hilarious. Some people say that there's a woman to blame you don't know that song never cheeseburger in paradise paradise no that's not a real song yes and he played it for like 30 years he just died really but do you know who jimmy buffett is no no you've never heard the name jimmy buffett are you having a tag moment i i kind of recognize the name but is he is he called buffett because his songs are all about like food and drinks well they're not all that what's the fence to the left fence to the right he was like he was the guy that like started the like um island like music the other thing you're not gonna be aware of yeah i don't know like well you know he's like wearing the floral what do you call them hawaiian shirts yeah

it was a big thing like people would tailgate all day for his concerts he sang the same songs for like 30 years but if he played new stuff everyone's like boo sing cheeseburger in paradise my old assistant who lives in our guest house at our office he is such a parrot head which is what his fans are called he patrick is such a parrot head that he started his own jimmy buffett podcast that got picked up by margaritaville jimmy's brand and now he's got i think an xm radio show heck yeah for uh jimmy buffett have you heard of the hotel or restaurant margaritaville no oh my god you're not even eating any coconut shrimp i'm allergic to coconut but yeah we've we've gone over this i forgot it just seems crazy to me blowing my mind may it seems crazy to me this is blowing my mind may

it seems crazy to me i don't i didn't think i'd meet anyone who doesn't know who jimmy buffett is i just don't like that it's cheeseburger in paradise because you you think you'd call it hamburger in heaven i think that's catchier cheeseburger in paradise paradise i have never heard you the first time fortune i don't but what are some other verses in that song? I can't think of it. How else does it go, Tig? We could get Patrick on the horn. Do you remember how the rest of the song goes?

I don't remember. Tried to amend my carnivorous habit. Made it nearly 70 days. Out some sun, some Alps Baking up something I have it Is it actually about a cheeseburger? Like about Yeah

What? I like mine with lettuce and tomato Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes Okay, I gotta get you gotta send me some you gotta send me some some clips i gotta get into this and it shows people like when he sang margaritaville people would yell salt salt salt salt salt yeah i just can't believe that people were at these concerts going nuts yeah It's the most mellow music ever. That's because they're drinking what Tig likes.

Margaritas. Skinny Margaritaville. Did I just create something? This is a weight loss camp. It's called Skinny Margaritaville. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. You had a margarita when we went out, me and stephanie and i took you to the

only vegan restaurant i've ever heard of and i don't think it was vegan right no for the most part not but there was there was quite a bit of vegan stuff but um i'll take you to craigs then you can eat vegan food and i can eat not vegan food i've been to craigs craigs is in west hollywood it's like a an italian joint um but that also has a pretty decent sized vegan menu okay yeah i'm going to a airbnb this weekend that i rented it has like a surprise birthday party for uh this woman who i'm heavily involved with it's a woman was like, who is it for? You can tell me. A woman.

So she doesn't know? She knows that we're going to an Airbnb and that a couple of people are coming, but she doesn't know the extent. And I'm really nervous. I've never successfully pulled off. I don't think I've ever planned a surprise party. And it says on the Airbnb thing,

no parties. Do not have parties. So wait wait you're doing it anyway it's too late now i've invited everyone oh my gosh but it's what are you gonna do is it wait is it down in the like palm springs area because they are very ornery about that stuff it's malibu and i'm hoping because it's run by one of those companies that runs a bunch of... They won't be checking. We have an Airbnb in Malibu where we have

a message that says that you can't have parties. Are you serious? No. Oh my god. I would like to stay there. I have a really great fix for this issue okay what have everybody dress in the exact same costume so like a long trench coat a mustache black room glasses a hat and then it just looks like the same person it's actually brilliant you know

moving from room to room and then you're like we think the same person keeps coming in and keeps arriving to the airbnb like it looks like the tape is glitched yeah have everyone go buy the same outfit yeah you need to have everyone buy a sweatshirt because trench coats that's a lot let's have let's go with a sweatshirt and a mullet have everyone a trench coat's gonna hide the different body types and heights and stuff if it's a trench coat you want two kids but if they have dark jeans dark jeans dark sweatshirt mullet oh i have a better have a better idea. Oh, what do you got? Oh, and it's not too big of a stretch more with, you know, investing in this. You got to buy a few, like four of those big horse costumes where two people or three people are in there and somebody's on the shoulders

and you can put a mullet on the horses and then they all just clomp into the party and that's fun as part of the surprise yeah and then you say where does it say no horses at the party show me the clause where it says no horses also here's how you can do it you can have one horse comes to the party that you got three people crammed in that that sounds like a start of a joke one horse comes to the party this is no joke i'm trying to help you have a successful party down at malibu beach okay so you got three people crammed in the horse clump suit yeah then you get one of those things where three people sit on each other's shoulders and then they're like eight feet tall yeah you got three people crammed into there so that's six people and then the others just come

in as people two horses and two giants that's 12 people two horses and two giants walk into an airbnb and then it's me my girlfriend and her daughter and then two horses and two giants that's the 15 that's good yeah and you can put uh mullet wigs on all three of them the horse and the two giants problem solved nothing to see here and then everyone just clomps into the party. How many are on the giant three people? Yeah. So you need someone that can really, you need a very firm base. Yeah. Fortune's right about this.

It's like a Russian nesting doll. They need to get smaller as they go up. Yeah. Yeah. Good thing the rock is coming and he can be the base on one of them. Good thing we're thinking all this stuff through right now we were worried about your um situation and now not worried yeah so have a good time great i'm kind of bummed i'm not going to the party as a horse you could be a surprise buy a trench coat

dig put a trench coat on my horse suit well that'll be fun i've never thrown a surprise i don't think i've thrown a surprise party so well i mean she knows there's something going on and i keep being like do you want to know in advance and she's like no that doesn't sound like you're trying to keep the surprise i know it's because i would hate it i would want to know okay i don't mind being surprised so if you guys ever want to throw me a party with a bunch of horses. Let's do it. Titch, get your cowboy hat out. Has anyone thrown you a surprise party?

Back in college, I got thrown a surprise party. That was really, really cool. Jax has surprised me with like some friends coming over. Yeah. Like during the thick of the quarantine i had a big milestone birthday and she had two of my best friends surprised me with they made me a pie and sat 10 feet away in the backyard oh that's we but honestly i was like it's not how I expected to celebrate that birthday, but just having any joy. Yeah.

I'll take it. When is your birthday? July 1st. Oh, great birthday. Canada Day. Yeah. Have we been over this, Tig? When's yours?

March 24th. Yeah. Day before Elton John's birthday day. Huge. I actually do have the same birthday as The rock may 2nd may it was born in may yeah wow david beckham the rock all the greats may martin you know who i share a birthday with is what's his name he's a football player oh well and then i also tom brady no and it's the only one i know i don't know why i brought this up my apologies and then the other one is the football player on the bills that got hurt

oh a few oh there's a big moment when he got lamar hamlin damar hamlin i'm sorry hamlin pied piper oh my god what a full circle moment you guys We are so handsome That is crazy Wow Who knew that we'd be able to do that Whoa What a podcast

What a podcast That was electric Boogie woogie woogie woogie Anyway We have to capture that moment of fortune saying what a podcast what a podcast what a podcast and make that what is that a meme or whatever this yeah i can't i can't remember other people have my birthday i'm sure jimmy buffett probably oh brought jimmy buffett back what a podcast what a podcast what a podcast put your fist in the air

should we listen to uh what mike berbiglia's answer is right mike all right Let's hear what Mike has to say I think the reason that this is my question Was that for me it's kind of everything Like I'm surprised that I am married I'm surprised that I have a child I'm surprised that I'm a stand-up comedian I'm surprised that I left Massachusetts and lived in New York I actually think about this all the time

Because I could not have predicted any of it. Anyway, thanks for having me on. Thanks, Mike. That's very in keeping with everything we said, right? Just like I can't believe that I'm that I am a function. Yeah, that I'm a person. Yeah, I think it's a testament to you can accomplish anything beyond your wildest dreams. So don't ever think that you have to limit yourself or think that you can't do something that seems hard or impossible because you just never know. So why not try? Yeah. I was trying to be motivational because I didn't get to be a motivational speaker. So this is my moment. to be motivational because um i didn't get to be a motivational speaker so well you can always

moment you can always wrap up each episode moving forward with a nice little motivational wrap up with fortune your own little fortune cookie and we should we should end with a group what a podcast what a podcast what a podcast oh man this episode had everything it had laughs it had music silences and motivational moments

of deep thoughts and feelings rumple stilt skin we should also we should remind people that we're um doing a live show december 18th oh yeah i'm so pumped at dynasty typewriter but also that you can watch it from anywhere in the world you can live stream it yeah let's get a million people to watch oh my gosh let's do it yeah you would be in the book of world records yeah for sure i think we could pull that off

between no one's watching no there's never been a million people that's watched anything before i feel like people don't really go out for world records like they used to in the 70s and 80s you're so right that used to be huge if i can predict i think at some point in our lifetime may will attempt to break a world record of some sorts oh i know what it's gonna be what you're going to ride a motorcycle over a bunch of barrels i could see that yeah yes that's in your future man good luck be careful out there, please. I thought you were going to say something nerdy. It's a lot of barrels.

Correcting the most grammar in one hour. Well, you never know. Well, it'd still be kind of nerdy if that's what you really set your mind to. Well, because I'll be wearing one of those hats with the propellers. Yeah. It'll help you take flight. Yeah. It'll lift me up.

Tig, take it away. What do we got coming up? Well, our live handsome show is coming up on December 18th, Fortune, and you can join in the fun from anywhere in the world. Tickets are sold out in person, but you can join us streaming live on the internet by going to DynastyTypewriter.com. That's DynastyTypewriter.com to see our live streaming show December 18th. And we also have some other cool stuff, Tig. What do we have? Merchandise. Yeah, for our handsome listeners. Yeah, we got merchandise.

Yeah, we got tote bags. We got hats. We got stickers. Yeah, yeah. All your favorite words on those things, too. And those can be found at handsomepod.com. I do think we should make some merch that says, what was it? When I'm naked, I know what I'm up to or something.

Keep the list going, Thomas. Keep the list going. That's right. Keep the list going, Thomas. Keep the list going. That's right. Well, I hope if you guys enjoyed this episode, you'll go give us a five star review. It certainly is appreciated by all of us.

Yes. You can also share the episode with friends. If you're thinking, oh my gosh, I need to turn my friend on to this show. Here's a perfect example of the show. Send it over to them. Yeah. If you're like, the Jimmy Buffett fan in my life needs to hear this.

I can't wait to bring in some parrot heads on this episode. Yes. But thank you so much for listening. Yeah. Is there any handsome stuff you would like our listeners to know about may yes fortune november 29th uh i'm at dynasty typewriter with uh stephanie allen and alana doing a yeah live streamed improv show uh and then largo december 2nd and 11th nice what about you fortune i'm to be on the road doing

stand-up November 30th in Kansas City. After Christmas, I have St. Petersburg, Orlando, Jacksonville, and West Palm Beach, Florida. Just added shows in Vancouver, Toronto, Los Angeles, New Jersey, London.

I'm going to Europe for London and Amsterdam. So get your tickets uh at my website fortunefeimster.com take what about you oh thanks for asking uh i'm going to be in college park maryland january 26th and then uh waterville maine march 9th so go to to Tig Notaro dot com. Get all show information there. Well, thanks for listening. And as always, keep it handsome. Should we do a what a podcast?

Yeah. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro may martin and fortune theme stir the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas willett email us at handsomepod at gmail.com follow us on social media at handsome pod what a podcast what a podcast that was electric