Handsome - Monica Barbaro asks about talking to animals

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

Monica Barbaro (FUBAR, A Complete Unknown) asks Handsome a lovely question about speaking with animals. Plus Fortune shares some life updates and gets support from Tig and Mae-- thanks to all our handsome listeners who have reached out! We love you all.Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pod. Chattin' with friends on the handsome pod. Cheers. Welcome to the handsome pod. Here we are, live in the flesh, in person. I'm one of your hosts, Mae Martin. And I am another host, and my name is Tig Notaro. And I am Fortune Pimster.

This is all true. This is true facts. So far, everything is true. We're on a real hot streak here. I'm sitting on this butch leather sofa. Yeah. Feeling butch. Look in it.

Thank you. I've been cutting my own hair though a lot and it's got into a weird shape and very thick and kind of... I don't know why I do it. Do you know how to cut hair? No. So you just, clearly. Yeah.

I have noticed a lot in life, you're always doing this with your hair. You do this. You do a little circle. No, I do, okay, I'll show you. Yeah, show us. Okay, so it's this, the fingers go into it, and then I kind of pull out to give it some texture.

But it, my friend was like, well, that's a stim. That's autism. Oh, really? Because I do it all the time, and I can't stop. So am I off the hook? Is stimming just an autism thing, or is it like anxiety, or? Could be, yeah, who fucking knows?

It could be like an OCD thing. I don't know, but I am constantly, like am constantly like I do things with my fingers like you do stuff like this yeah there's like whole blooper reels during filming of me doing that in scenes and or using the cameras they're using my reflection is touching your hair I mean you should see my bloopers is it you just messing up. I mean, they do. You should see my bloopers. Is it you just- Messing up lines? I mean, the gibberish that comes out of my mouth

on Star Trek. God, I love a blooper. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, they edited together a montage of me using my reflection in the camera to fix my hair and then doing it in character. And when they play it for the cast and crew, does everyone laugh so hard at your blooper? No, sort of everyone's like, oh, that's old May.

And then I'm sort of laughing at first and then my face slowly falls as I see myself reflect. And you know. Yeah. Well, this has started out sad. Yeah, this has started out melancholic. If it's helpful at all, your hair looks the same to me. Thank you.

Would you say Mae's hair looks the same? Yeah, I mean, we don't notice the change, but I think it matters to you. More than anything on this earth. Well, you know, it's funny we're talking about this because tonight I'm giving my little cubs a haircut. Oh my god, are you excited? Because you're good. You have the whole kit and everything. I have the whole kit. I have the cape that goes around a haircut. Oh my God, are you excited? Cause you're good. You have the whole kit and everything.

I have the whole kit. I have the cape that goes around the neck. Oh my God. Yeah. I have buzzers, clippers, everything. And I have been doing this since the pandemic. I love it so much. Will you make like banter as if you're a hairdresser while you do it?

No, because Max and Finn are like, are we finished yet? Right, right, right. And it's like every few seconds. I'm like, guys, guys, please, if we were at, you know, we would have to get in the car, we'd have to drive to the barber shop, that we have to wait, you know. This is much faster.

Yeah, you're saving time. Yeah, and money, okay? We are saving our cash. Oh yeah, you are. And so I cut their hair, and then I cut Stephanie's dad, Papa Grande, cut his hair, and he does saddle up like he's at an actual barber shop,

and he's like, well, you know, today, I was going down the 101, and you know. He wants the full experience. They should, like, for men who have difficulty talking about their feelings, they should set up like a little barber shop, like it gives them the space to talk, to open up. Yeah, to say what's on their mind.

Yeah. I would, oh go on. No, no, please. No, please. No, honestly, my hair is like a three hour process. You said I could go. Oh, sorry, I go. No, you go.

No, fortune, it's your turn. My hair is like a three hour process. What, that? Yeah, cause I have to. Oh, oh, you go no fortune. It's your turn. My hair take is like a three-hour process That yeah, I have to oh you mean cutting it cutting it. No, they meant styling it. No cutting Because you know I son kiss my hair yeah, that takes forever. Yeah, how do you son kiss your hair? Oh, they put in highlights and lowlights. That is adorable. So you sit in one of those little chairs with... It takes forever. With the helmet over your head? Yeah. Oh my god, can you tell us when you're having that done again? Are you gonna come over? Thomas, yeah, we put it on the list. So you go to the salon and you sit under the thing? Yeah, with the foils. The foils, my. I'll take a picture.

No, you're gonna tell us. Oh, you're gonna tell us. Yes! God! Oh my God, yes. In the salon, you just hear you guys come tromping in. And do you? Like it, fortune trying to keep it handsome over there.

Uh-huh, takes a village. Yeah. Do you play games on your phone while you sit and wait? You play best scenes? I do. Well, the person who I found to do it, she's been doing it in the last year. It's fun to talk to.

Okay. So we talk a lot. Why is she fun to talk to? She's just like easy going and easy to talk to. Yeah. More fun than me? No. Thank you. Who is?

Exactly. And then while the thing's on, you can't really talk because it's loud. Yeah, so then I'll play like games on my phone Yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of games do you play on your phone? Best Fiends Best Fiends They've ruined my life for a while. I know it's addictive. I stopped playing. Although some people say it's called Best Fiends I don't know. Gotta be Fiends. I think so. It's a better name too. Best Fins. Best Fins.

N Maxes. What's that? Best Fins and Maxes. Yeah. What's N Maxes? My other son. Oh Fins. Gotcha. I just went yeah. Yeah. You're like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well my new like passing the time thing is the capital cities and I'm at 130.

If anyone was like following my progress and wanted to know, cause I know the countries and now I'm at 130. Have I already told you, you should talk to Finn about this? Yeah, he's into geography and maps and. Oh, even beyond the US. I mean, it's like, so, and flags. I'm stressed because I didn't know each state in America

has a capital city. Yeah, yes. I didn't know that. That is adorable. So now I got one of those, I guess. Welcome. Yeah, thank you. I like it here.

Welcome. When are you getting your license, by the way? Well, I've had a lesson recently. Okay. But after the lesson, I've learned that my learner's permit's expired, so I have to do the written test again. Oh.

I know. But as soon as I'm done that, I swear to God, you guys, I'm going to get the license. By the end of the summer, it's happening. Okay. And then where are you going to go? I'm going to drive around the block. I'm going to go, oh my God, every morning I could go anywhere. I could go to the desert. You can, yeah, every morning I could go anywhere. I could go to the desert.

You can, yeah, literally the world is your oyster when you have a car. Yeah, I could go to Ojai. I don't have a car. You don't? What do you mean? No. So how do you get around? We're one car family.

No, yeah, so that counts as yours. For real, y'all have to ride together everywhere? Well, you know, we live in a very walkable area. True. And I don't go anywhere. Oh, right. I just shuffle around my neighborhood and have coffee and snacks and shuffle.

Picture you in a robe. Shuffling around. Yeah. In a robe. That is nice to be able to walk to coffee. Oh, yeah. I do like that. We're all Uber, like I Ubered here.

Oh, you did? I didn't take a stretch limousine Uber like you. Well, I guess if you don't go many places then it doesn't make sense to have two cars. No, Stephanie wants me to get one. Oh yeah, she's tired of me being like, oh you don't need the car today, I'm gonna take that. But we'll work that out.

Who's the clear driver, you or Stephanie? Well, that's up for debate. Stephanie would swear swear she is. Is she faster? No. Really? Okay, okay. No. Yeah.

And she has a car that famously goes fast. And I'm like, why do we even have this? Right. You know? Yeah. And she's just buckled in going the speed limit. I'm gonna go the speed limit all the time. It's too scary.

Well at least while you're still getting comfortable. Yeah. It's beginning to get uncomfortable. Look at Biggie. Yeah, Biggie. Biggie's getting very comfortable. Guys, tonight I'm already feeling nervous because tonight I'm going to see a scary movie.

Okay. And this is, you know, Brett Goldstein, my friend Brett. Yeah, I love Brett. So he, I think some... We're friends with him too. Yeah, we know. Yeah, he's your buddy. Say our friend Brett.

Our mutual friend Brett. Yes, of course. Of course, he's our friend. Someone, you got like a screener of a movie because the guys are going to come on his podcast or something and they're the guys that made that movie, Talk to Me. And can I just read you? This is what the reviews said, because it hasn't come out yet.

And then I Googled it. Do you get swayed by reviews? No, normally I don't read them, but I don't like all scary movies. I like like a thriller and I like a slasher movie, but this is, okay, extremely gnarly with no pulled punches. This film has such an evil presence from the get-go. This is, okay, extremely gnarly with no pulled punches. This film has such an evil presence from the get-go. Even before the studio logos hit,

you're hit with this disturbing imagery that makes you feel gross and unsafe. Deeply upsetting, I'd even go so far as to say this is an evil film. Like it feels like it haunted me, like I'm gonna die in seven days. Oh no, this is gonna be like a bear. Is this like a professional reviewer

or is it somebody writing a comment in their underwear in the middle of the night? I think it's that. I think it's someone on Rotten Tomatoes or something. You're gonna be haunted by this movie. I know, I'm scared. You're with Brett, is that what you were saying? Yeah, and I don't normally like supernatural horror movies.

They freak me out. Yeah. Yeah. For some reason, I don't mind a crazy guy with with a knife you can always fall asleep during it or that's true we'll just snuggle up to Brad yeah who cuts Biggie's hair? Jack's does okay yeah cuz I see some pieces that need to be evened out with clippers or? He's been all over the place lately so well he's beautiful of course but I just see some little edges that need to be even now I'm happy to do that yeah and would you like me to cut your hair? get that kid out. you would let me cut your hair? yeah I would yeah you would

tidy up the back and sides yeah oh my gosh cuz look at the back just this chunk oh bless you oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh no it's really it's bad I wouldn't notice it if you didn't tell us the look, but it's just like a diagonal right now. Should I show the camera? Yeah, why not? I wouldn't want to show that. Oh, there's scissors right there. Oh my God.

We can have a handsome haircut. Do you think you could even it out with just big old chunky scissors? Big old chunky scissors. In the pen. Big old chunky scissors. You heard that song before? Speaking of horror films... Big ol' chunky scissors!

Big ol' chunky scissors! Oh hi and bye! Is that your friend now? Yes, we're scared. This is turning into a horror film. Tig gave Biggie some apple earlier so I see that you're one him over. What if there was a horror movie where the killer sang big ol' chunky scissors? That's how I started is I cut Max and Finn's hair with big ol' kid scissors. Oh no way. Yes, it did look good. But here's the thing, it took me five years.

We don't have that kind of time. No, no, no, I can't do it right now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It took me five years to now be real quick, like I can just. Oh, you're snip, snip, snip, snip, snip. Yeah, I'm just like, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip. Oh, that's nice. Stephanie said I give her dad the best haircut

she's ever seen him have. Wow. Since she's known him. That's amazing. I had a hairdresser in England, not Debbie, but this guy who I remember one day he was like, I'm pretty nervous because in a couple months I'm going on Britain's Got Talent.

I think, yeah, or the X Factor, one of those. With, it was Simon Cowell judging and he was so nervous and he had a piano in the shop and he'd practice playing and stuff. And I was like, I hope this goes well for him. He was pinning everything on it. And then I remember him coming back after the audition like the next month being like,

they didn't like it, I said next time. But man, it takes balls to go on those shows. Yeah, my cousin went and auditioned for one of those shows and she was laughing so hard at how she did not have a compelling story. Is that the same as? Yeah, pretty much. You need a compelling story to get, yeah, right, right, right.

Have you ever done those comedy competitions when you started out? I did Last Comic Standing in 2010. Oh yeah, right, right, right. Have you ever done those comedy competitions when you started out? I did Last Comic Standing in 2010. Oh yeah, I did that too. Is that televised? Yeah. Yeah. How'd you do?

Sing finals. I won every year. It was my first TV thing, so for me it was great. It's so scary when you've got like three minutes. I know. Takes me that long. And then they edit. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, edit all the flow and. Fully edit. Yeah. Oh, you know what I'm about to do with my mom? What? Speaking of hair, I'm gonna take her wig shopping. No way. Yes.

Fun. And I'm wondering if I should get her a wig that looks like my hair. Oh, that would be good. We should get her a wig of each of our hair, including Thomas's. That's great. Mustache and she could change wigs. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.

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Oh, my mom has cancer. I'm sorry. I can't, it's uncomfortable. I laugh when I'm uncomfortable. I understand the laugh. It's not funny. No. But yes, so well, she didn't know about this

when we saw her at the Ryman. I know, we just saw her. Yeah, you just seen her, which I'm so glad we've had some really cool experiences lately. Not that she's going anywhere, hopefully. Yes, my mom got diagnosed like a month ago with, I can't say the long name, but it's bile duct cancer. It's in the bile ducts in her liver.

And it's a very rare cancer, very aggressive. It's stage two, she like randomly found it. She went to urgent care for like shortness of breath and they didn't see any, she thought she might have a blood clot, they didn't see any. And they said, we can do this other test with dye but you don't need it and for whatever reason she's like I know I want it. And they did it and she had a mass about the size of an orange,

a small orange on her liver and they were were like, this is not good. They set up the time stage four, because it was so big, and she had a bunch of tests, and so she has this. It's not great, it is not curable, but it can be treated. The prognosis, who knows, it could, anywhere from a year to six years, some people or even longer. Yeah, it could be 12 15

So we're just you're in that phase of like an onslaught of information Yeah, waiting through it and she didn't want to talk about it for the first month though you know, so I kept it to myself and And then it was funny like she started to slowly want to talk about it to people and I kept it to myself and then it was funny. She started to slowly wanna talk about it to people and I went home to visit her and she'd been saying she didn't wanna talk about it and someone said, hey Ginger, good to see you, how you doing?

I have cancer and I was like wait, what just happened? And so then she told me to share the story because she just needed help and information and especially because it's such a rare. It's rare. All these people have rallied around her and she's got all these great people in her hometown like saying they'll take her to any appointment. She's starting chemo or by this time has started chemo. And we got her set up with a great doctor at Emory.

We're gonna see what happens there. And I don't know, all these people, I'm trying to compartmentalize right now. And how is she with, I mean with my own experience of having cancer, it's so overwhelming and there's so much information like you're saying. And so is she bringing somebody to her appointments

with her to take notes? Yeah, she went to one appointment the other day by herself and started crying and... Yeah. Yeah. Ginger. It's tough. Yeah. Aw. Ginge. It's tough. Yeah, so um. I'm glad she's got you and that people are rallying around.

Yeah, so she said she wasn't going to do that again. She's going to have somebody go with her. So, like we have great family down that way that have reached out and a lot of people said they'd go with her. Well if anyone can rock a wig, it's gonna be... I know. Well some people are like, oh it doesn't have, not even lose his hair, but pretty much

every doctor is like with what you have, you're gonna lose hair. You know, she's just, she's scared and, but it's got that fighter mentality and yeah, just unexpected, did not see this coming. And life is a bit crazy right now and a lot of changes are happening, but just focused on her and getting her better. Yeah, and it makes you so grateful that, yeah, you have all these insane experiences together.

Like all these clips of you guys on stage together, and then like that we were all just hanging. I know, yeah. I was glad we went on that cruise together earlier this year to see all these cool experiences. The good thing is that I'll be able to go pop in in North Carolina more and spend time with everyone. Make sure you spend a lot of time together.

I mean, hopefully the treatments help her live a much longer life. And that it, you know, if it were, it's stage two, by getting those scans done now, there's, I think, hope for, you know, keeping it at bay for a while. A lot of people don't find it till stage four because it's so undetectable and so hard to find

and usually no symptoms. I'm really unbelievable that she found it. Yeah. So. But she does, I know people are saying, oh, I can go with her, but she has like, I'm gonna go with this person or I have this plan because I just, I would hate for that to sneak up on her again

where she doesn't, like, that's not planned. And I don't know if that, if you have family friends that you could reach out to or be like. I think so. I think that's the part that's been tough lately is just like, there's so many people reaching out and so many people wanting to help. I'm kind of shutting down a little bit

and I'm trying to like, I know I can't, I have to face it, but I'm just trying to be like, give me a minute to sort this out. And once I can just kind of wrap my head around everything and what needs to be done, I can help facilitate that stuff. Because I have cousins and stuff, you know, like let me talk to you, or let me reach, and I'm just like, give me a minute.

That's the thing about the cancer situation that I just never realized was all these people reaching out saying how much, how many tasks there are to do for the person that has the cancer. It's a full-time job for the person with cancer and the community surrounding. Yeah. Because I mean I was one of the very lucky people that had rides everywhere I went, people staying with me, making food for me. Yeah.

And I just don't, and I was so at a point in my life where I was such a different person, it's crazy to think about, but I was just like, I could do everything on my own, I didn't need, you know what I mean? Like even after surgery, I was such a different person, it's crazy to think about. But I was just like, I could do everything on my own, I didn't need, you know what I mean? Like even after surgery, I was like, I didn't, my friends were like, we're gonna stay with you. And I was like, I'm fine, like at my place alone

with, and open it, like these incisions in my chest. And they're like, you can't even lift your arms. They're like, no, I'm fine, I'm good. But it's, you know, it really makes you realize, and I'm like, that's, you kind of need a medical degree to understand everything. And maybe it would be good, aside from even taking notes, to just, I don't know, like a voice memo.

Record the. That's what people said, record the. Record the appointments. But for sure, for the emotional support, to have somebody there with her because it is so overwhelming. And while you're taking in all of this crazy information, then your emotions come over you

and it'll, it's so much. You know? Yeah, I mean, she's at the age where most of her friends are retired, you know, so that's helpful. So a lot of them are out in our church, like had made a whole list of like people signing up to volunteer.

Oh great, great, great. So I think she'll, you know, be in good hands and my brothers are out that way too and their wives. How far away are they from your mother? One's 45 minutes and one's six hours. Okay. You must be too, like everyone knows someone

who's had cancer or has had some encounter with cancer in their life and so everybody has different, I'm sure, like tips and thoughts on it. Like everyone has different. It's overwhelming. I will say it's pretty incredible. Fortune. Love you, bud.

Sorry. No. I think, you know, like you said, there's so much going on right now. Yeah. And this is like, no joke. Yeah. And you need support.

I was just trying to say like, it's been pretty crazy in a good way, how many people have shown up. Yeah. For me and for her. Yeah. And people I don't even know that well. Yeah. You know that well. I've been really, I'm pretty amazed actually at just how many people just care and wanna help.

People just instinctually wanna help I think. And of course knowing her and people, I mean of course knowing her, of course people want to help her, and I hope she's somebody that's open to help. Yeah, very much, so that's why she had me finally tell people about it, because she was like, I need help, and I've just been really grateful for everybody who's,

I mean, even my good friends are just calling her, and talking with her, and I don even my good friends are just calling her and talking with her. I don't know, that part just really means so much. And I've made new friends who've been like, what can I do, how can I help, people, strangers that I don't know, or this woman that saw the post reached out to this unbelievable cancer doctor

in Atlanta to like please help and look at her information. I mean just like friends sending like, here are the things to eat and don't eat, here are the things to do, here's tips. I mean it's been like, I hate that it's under these circumstances, but just seeing people come together like that is so much. It's hard to remember and feel

that you have that support network day to day, and then when something happens and everyone comes out of the woodwork like that, and you're like, oh, I guess that was there all along and I didn't know that people had my back. Do you want my hand off of you? No, I love it. This year has tested me in many ways,

but people have just freaking showed up for me in ways I could have never expected. So it's like just, it's what's gotten me through it. Yeah? So, you know, she go fight it. We're gonna do everything we can and, she'll fight it and then she's like, you know.

She'll fight it, but as you said, she has an entire army behind her. I mean of family, friends, neighbors, townies, strangers, every, I mean, and to be hooked up with such an incredible doctor. And I have the means to go, you know, like this weekend, last minute, I was like, I'm just gonna go fly out there, you know,

I'll go see her. It's not the journey. It's funny, this year, just from things going on with me, I've talked to her every day, before we even knew about the cancer. We've just gotten some, we've always been close, and especially in my adult years, but we've just talked every day and she's gotten me through some tough times.

And so entering into this phase of my life where I'm at right now, I was like, oh, we're gonna go do fun things and have some fun mom-daughter times and this is just not really the journey I thought. She didn't think this either, but that she'd be on at the moment. So that's just life though. But yeah. One of my favorite things in the world, and I know I've said it on this podcast

and I say it to everybody in times like these, but what's so amazing is one of my favorite things that Ram Dass has ever said is that we're all just walking each other home. Oh, yeah. And I just love it so much because it's like everybody, and home just meaning any point in your life just, like I experienced that outreach and it changed my life. I really don't know who I was before I was so sick. And man, were people walking me home.

And man, do I wanna help people walk home. It's just like. No, I'm going. Oh no. Oh no. Oh man. That's nice. Oh, it's true.

When you look around, whether it's strangers or your family or friends, and it's just like, it's such a beautiful thing. And it is, yeah. But I'm relieved to know that she has so many people. I'm very grateful. She's from, we're from a small town where everybody really looks out for each other.

So that makes me feel much better. Yeah. Yeah. But that her facing this is not gonna be alone. Yeah. Yeah. That's very reassuring. What a year. If we were on a talk show or something we'd go to a commercial break right now. Yeah, but we can't. We can't so we gotta. They decide what our commercial breaks are. Laughing awkwardly to cry like a little baby. Biggie didn't know what the hell's going on. Biggie's just enjoying his life.

Just thinking about the apple piece I gave him. That's right. Well Fortune, we are here for ya. We are, we love you. We're sending Ginger so much love and support. And we're here for walking home. Thank you for that, I appreciate it. We'll just rally behind her and get her through this.

Absolutely, we will. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that right, Biggie? Biggie can't talk. What a podcast, we go from being ridiculous and insane to we get us sharing feelings. What a podcast.

What a podcast. But you know I'm like hungry for the real feelings. What a podcast. What a podcast. But you know I'm like hungry for the real stuff. What is it about? It's good to get earnest sometimes. It is, but why did I laugh at being so uncomfortable? Well take the stand up thing of I have cancer, like it's a natural kind, I think like almost the absurdity

of just the shocks of life. That was what my whole special was. It was just like, because in my run of months that that stuff happened, it was like, it was hell upon hell. Like my mother tripping and dying and my breakup and all the diseases I had. And then I was like, it just seemed, it was relentless.

And then when the doctor was like, you have invasive cancer, I was like, what? What? I was like, but it can't happen like this. I'm like, I'm in hell. I can't eat food and my mother's gone and my girlfriend's gone. I was like, how could I possibly have cancer?

And I don't know if I've shared this on the show, but Ira Glass from This American Life, he was saying, you know, people think random means sporadic and spread out. And he said, sometimes random can be all things in one cluster. Yeah, in a cluster. And that really stuck with me because I thought like in the first three things that happened in those four or five months I was like well life's just gonna be smooth sailing now because I've gone through everything. Right. And then it

just and I don't mean to say that like, there's more for sure coming, but it's just, it's like, there's no gauge. There's no, it's just random. Random. Yeah, yeah. And you think, oh, it won't be me, or oh, it won't be my loved one, it won't be my relationships or my health or whatever it is, and it's like, it's all of us.

Yeah. And look at you now though. Exactly. Look at me now. I mean, yeah. I mean, life is good, but I still have many challenges like everybody does. But I have a very solid foundation in my life

with my health and my marriage and my kids and all of that work and whatever but within those areas, there's still always rough spots. Yeah, for sure. But um, but yeah, I'm very thankful. Very deeply thankful. So. Well, you let us know what's helpful. I will. Okay. I just wanted to touch take back

up the shoulder. That feels a little different. Is that a Buck Mason T-shirt? It's rag and bone. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. No, no, no. Oh, that took it out of me. Yeah. Yeah.

You take a break. Fortune, you sip your your beverage. took it out of me. Yeah. Yeah. You take a break. Fortune, you sip your beverage. Let's go to commercial. Yeah, we'll go to commercial. I don't even drink soda. What am I? Oh yeah.

I like don't drink soda and I'm like. I will say I have lost a lot of weight because I've barely felt like eating for two months. So, hot girl summer. Ha ha ha ha. You know him, you love him. Today's sponsor is Honeylove. Most people yank off their bra the second they get home. The reason, those things are highly uncomfortable. Honeylove bras are so comfy

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Thrivemarket.com slash handsome. But you feel good like aside from any sort of emotional turmoil? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah don't know. Yeah. I'm not terrible. I'm not great. I have compartmentalized a little bit. Just because there's things going on in my life. But...

Just like day by day. Yeah, I think I'm just trying to find the light, you know? Like focus on the happy things and what are the good things in my life and focusing on that. You know, throwing myself into work a bit, but not to the point where like I'm ignoring everything and just pretending like everything's good.

I'm, you know, talk to a therapist and just trying to everything's good. I mean, I talk to a therapist, and just trying to like feel the things when it comes up, and you know, stay busy. We're so lucky that we love what we do. Like, can you imagine if you had all this going on and you hated your job or something? Yeah. Yeah, like.

I mean, it is tricky, like being on tour, having all this stuff going on, and then being like, okay, let's go. Be silly, but I'm not forcing myself to. I don't go out there going, well, you gotta do this. I genuinely am so happy to see everybody. And to make people laugh makes me feel good. So having that in my life

is probably what's getting me through. And it's just like being in those theaters, feeling that love. You are so kind. That is what's moving me forward. And just spending time with my mom. I've always had my friends but just reconnecting with them in a way that's meaningful. I've had some really meaningful conversations

with a lot of people lately, deep ones that I just hadn't had in a while. Everything had been kind of surfaced for a bit just because I was so busy that I've really allowed myself to connect and just get to it with people. Those are the best, those conversations. Kind of like when we all talk about the ponties.

Yeah, I just like that. Just cutting the shit and sharing what's important I I think, is where I'm at right now. So yeah, I'm gonna be okay. More than okay. Yeah. And I was just thinking when you were emotional and I reached out to touch you, I'm very curious, some people don't like to be touched when they're emotional and then other people do.

Where do you guys stand on that? I wanna be curled up. Held like a baby. And held like a baby. But like if I was sitting next to you, or Fortune was, or Thomas, you'd want us to snuggle you, like hold you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, or like touch me in some way for sure,

I think, yeah, because it's a natural human. Like were you like, oh boy, this is awkward when I touched your arm. Okay. No, no, no. And then was there a human. Like were you like, oh boy, this is awkward when I touched your arm. Mm-mm. Okay. And then was there a part of you that was like, why isn't she holding me?

Why isn't she spooning me? Well, I knew Biggie was getting in the way of that. Otherwise I would be in your lap with you brushing my hair. But it is so interesting. Yeah. You know? If I'm throwing up up I don't want anyone touching me. Good to know. Yeah that would probably be, I don't need that. I don't need someone holding

my hair. But I'm a physical touch person for sure. So this was okay, it wasn't too much, too little. It was perfect. Could you feel me wanting to? I could totally feel it. And could you feel biggie not knowing anything? I feel the love from all of you. Could you feel me wanting to hug you? I could totally feel it. And could you feel biggie not knowing anything? I feel the love from all of you. Thank you for letting me be vulnerable. Of course, thanks for sharing that. Yeah, there's been a lot going on and just trying to move through life as yes as a person and through work and and I think that's part of why people like

podcast because because yeah, even though yeah, you have to kind of go with someone through all the ups and downs of their life and Yeah, even in a subtle way and yeah, yeah, it's a really long-term Relation. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's other stuff going on It's a really long-term relation. Yeah, there's other stuff going on that I'll talk about in time, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One good time. One day at a time. I need this sun kiss to keep me. You drink that pop. One trauma at a time. Yeah. I read a quote that was like, it's like I was so scared that if I let the dam burst,

like everything would keep flowing out of me, and then I realized like, what's wrong with being a river? Like, it's so nice. Let it flow out, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Let it flow.

Guys, should we get to our question? Let's get to our question. I'm actually very excited about today's question asker because she is a dear friend of mine. We're on the show Foo Bar together that will be out, or it's already out, it's on Netflix right now. Today's question asker, she's an actress who was nominated for a freaking Oscar this past year

for her role as Joan Baez in the Bob Dylan biopic, A Complete Unknown. And she's also been Top Gun Maverick, she was the female fighter pilot. And of course, Foo Bar. So Monica Barbera is asking today's question. What's here at Monica? I would have so many questions for her.

I wanna know about playing Joan Baez, did she get to hang out with Joan Baez? question. What's here at Monica? I would have so many questions for her. I want to know about playing Joan Baez. Did she get to hang out with Joan Baez? I want to know. Did she? They did meet. Really? I will say Monica blows me away. She's so wonderful. Such a lovely human, but she's so talented. She was a ballet dancer at Tisch. And Tidge? What's Tidge? Tidge. What is that?

The NYU, right? Isn't that where it is? Yeah, NYU. And like for Fubar, she does all these crazy stunts. Top Gun Maverick, she had to like, Be in those planes for real. Be in the planes and catching G's or whatever it's called. Yeah.

You pass out and throw up and all that shit. She was doing all that. Oh my God. You had to train your, they trained their bodies for like a year and a half for that. What a badass. So she filmed that and then for Joan Baez, she had to learn 11 songs that did not play the guitar, had to teach herself to play guitar. Whoa.

And she sang all those songs. So there's nothing that girl can't do and this is just the beginning for her. She is got, she's going many places and I love her. She's such a good friend. Love it. Hey guys, really exciting to get to be a part of your amazing podcast.

Okay, so my question is, if you woke up and discovered you had the ability to talk to animals, what would you do? What would you do? And bonus points if you have an answer in addition to probably talk to your pets. Oh, okay. My pet right away. Okay, well, I don't have pets. So my first thought was there's been a lot of conspiracies lately about what's going on with the orca, the dolphin, the whales.

Okay. Cause they- Oh, they're communicating. They're communicating. And they're rising up. They're rising up. And I think there's something that's come out that's like, places have made it illegal

to communicate with dolphins. I'm like, what don't they want us to know? Like, what are they trying to tell us? And maybe there's aliens under the water. I want to talk to the dolphins, the whales and the orca. And ask them what's up. Ask them what the hell is going on. There's gotta be a lot of secrets in the ocean.

100% there's goss. There is big hot goss. Who's fucking who? But those orca are so well organized and they're like taking down boats and stuff. They're like breaching the water and just slamming these boats everywhere. They've had it with all the pollution in the water.

Yeah, they're done. They're done. Yeah, I talked to them. That's a good one. Yeah, I'm amazed we haven't yet, with AI, figured out how to translate their side of the world. What they're saying.

I mean, I only have ever thought about talking with Biggie. I don't know if I'd get much out of him, though. Don't you think he's kinda simple? He's a simple man. You're like, I'm hungry. No, I'm thirsty. Now I want you to, yeah, give me a rub on my belly. And now I want to go on a ride in the car so I can sleep.

What about, like, around your house, you got squirrels, possums? Oh. Good question, Mae. Thanks. I don't, no, I don't. There's not a lot of animals around. So I don't have, there's some birds I wouldn't mind.

Not the squawky ones that are so annoying, but like those really beautiful birds with like a little bit of red in them. They pop around sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna know like what they're about. I have friends who have, in their hippie-dippie way, have thought a loved one was coming to them via a bird.

I would be interested to know from those birds if that's the case. Yeah, does that ever happen? And they're like, oh yeah, it was someone's uncle or whatever. Yeah, but I definitely want and they're like oh yeah I was someone's uncle or whatever. Yeah but I definitely want I would like some information from Biggie. What do you need to know? I just want to know like how much he loves me. Yeah right yeah. I just want him to tell me. Yeah and if there's anything. What if he just spread his paws out like this. This much. Yeah that would be cute too. Yeah but I I also wanna know if there's anything he wants

that he doesn't have. Right. I can answer that for him. Are there any needs that aren't being met? No, he's fine. Maybe he needs pants, I don't know. Maybe, because sometimes- Little jeans?

Yeah, little jeans would be cute. Or, but he could tell us if he doesn't like them. See, that was partly what I wanted when I had kids. To dress them up. I was like, when I told Stephanie, I was like, I just want to put little pants on them. Like, that is what I want. I just want to have kids so I can put little pants on them.

And we don't anymore. They put their own pants on. But we did't anymore, they put their own pants on. But we did for a while and it was really fun. I love it when kids dress up in little suits. Oh yeah, that's really good. Oh my gosh, if you love that. I mean I know my kids are eight, but I can show you some little ties and suits

and what have you. I love little ties and suits. Would you be talking to Kitty City pretty much? No, I think I know what's going on there. Yeah, you get the interpersonal dynamics of that group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fluff is like just the raging bitch in town that keeps everyone in order and just.

And Linus and Skip are just kind of tiptoeing around her, but they all travel in a group, you know, And Linus and Skip are just kind of tiptoeing around her. But they all travel in a group, but she just really whips everyone into shape and leads the way. I would be more curious to see what apes say about us evolving from apes. Well, do you think they know that? Well, that's why I wanna ask. Well, do you think they know that well, that's why I

Yeah, I mean, I don't know do these birds know any I mean, I don't know yeah, but I'm curious You know all the humans like yeah, we came from apes. No, we didn't and well, let's talk to an ape Yeah, see what what's the what do they think? Yeah, what's their theory but they and see what's the, what do they think? Yeah. What's their theory? But they can sign language a lot, right? Really? Yeah, well, Coco, the gorilla,

but mainly it seems like they're, yeah, they're just boning and living in little communities and fighting and I wonder if they'd be like, yeah, how come you had to overcomplicate things? Like they'd be like, our life is pretty good. Yeah. And like if they've been, you know, if they were like, oh yeah, when my grandmother was alive, she told me about like her neighbor that she saw actually become human. You know, my grandmother was alive during that time, you know, or my great, great, great grandmother.

Like saw them. Probably a lot of greats. That graph of, yeah. I haven't really thought about communicating with any other animals. I don't know. I feel like you would be in good standing with most of the animals, cause you're a vegan.

Yeah, that's true. They'd appreciate that. They'd have a word with me. They'd have a word with me, They'd have a word with me too. Although they're eating each other. Fair point. Sometimes. I don't know, but it would be kind of cool to hear from the animals like the Lion King. Yeah.

We can hear what they're saying. When I was really little, my mom read me Charlotte's Web. But I was like two, like I could barely talk yet. And then she tells the story that she finished the book and she wasn't even sure if I was following it and I just started bawling and bawling. But I think that's because the way she was reading it was probably really sad.

Like her tone of voice was probably like, and then Charlotte died. But yeah, I always then used to think about spiders talking and pigs, babe. Yeah. Did you just call Fortune babe? You didn't make it. Pigs, babe.

I've been thinking about pigs, babe. I've never called anyone babe. I have. You haven't? I like nicknames, babe, love, sugar. I see none of those three I could do. I've said baby. I do baby.

I don't do baby. Really? Not even like in bed? I say to Stephanie, my love, I say, how are you, my love? That's nice. I say my love to friends though too. Oh, well, look at you just throwing it around. Yeah, my love.

Yeah, my love, how are you, my love? Please start texting me that. But that's like, I think a Southern thing. We always go, hey, Shug. Do you say that to your bros too? Like, would you text? Yeah, my guy friend. I've had a number of like bro-y guy friends

have texted me, you know, about my mom or whatever. And I'm just like, thanks, love. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. That's nice. Don't worry. I'll get you. Hit me with one. I'll get you, boo. Look at that. Hey, thanks't worry, I'll get you. Yeah, hit me with one. I'll get you boo.

Look at that. Hey, thanks babe. I'll get you boo. Ha ha ha. My friend Joe who's staying with me calls me Old Joe? All kinds of things. Good old Joe. He calls me like, cheeky baby.

You just like affection, right? Both physical and verbal. Give it all to me. Yeah. That's what I want. Your love language. I like giving it to. Your love language is actually love language. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should we hear Monica's answer? Yeah, let's do it. I don't think we should. Yeah. You know what? Actually,

just kidding. Monica, we want to hear, but before you answer, do I look like Tom Cruise? Oh yeah. Yes you do. Monica would have a hard time, Monica, not knowing that you aren't her co-star. You really do. Hearing that training for Top Gun really was like insane. Yeah. I mean, what they had to do.

I'm like, I could never be cast in a movie like that. It's insane. I could. You'd do it? You'd fly in those planes? No problem. Puking and passing out? Puking and passing out, you have to train your body

to be able to take it. That's insane. I can't even fly on a commercial flight without being like, oh god, my mom's out. She's a badass though, I'm telling you. And then Foo Bar, you guys should check it out. Foo Bar on Netflix, it's a fun, silly show. It's one of those things you can watch

and not take too seriously. But it's like good, fun entertainment with the Arnold Schwarzer. Arnold. I get to shoot guns and I get in fights. Yeah, you do. Run from explosions. Yeah.

I just saw the trailer and it looked hilarious for the new season. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I was in Epson's Salt Baths a lot for the first couple of months. But yeah, it's, it's a action comedy. So it's not meant to be taken seriously. I'm going to take it deadly seriously. Okay. So first of all, I think I'd have a really long heart to heart with my dog,

try to really understand where he's coming from and what happened to him before I adopted him. Cause I think that would inform a lot for me. And then also, you know, I'd have to hear him out. But I really think I'd try to get him to understand that when I leave him at the house, it's never forever. He seems very confused about that every single time I leave and then every single time I come home, he seems to have at some point thought

he was being abandoned for life and had loved to just ease his fears if in any way possible. And just like chat, I'm so curious what he thinks day to day. I think I think I'm curious about it. Okay, beyond pets. I would really love to swim in the ocean and talk to humpback whales. Yeah, there you go. That I think that would be, or an octopus. Oh, because they're so smart. They're brilliant.

Yeah. It's all about the ocean. That I think would be a really fascinating conversation. I don't know why, but that's what I think. Yeah, I used to, and there's her doggie. This is sweet doggie. Oh my God, come on. Hi, pup. What would you say?

I used to think that my cat, pre-Kitty City, this other cat I had, I was convinced that she thought that when I left for the day, I used to do this as a joke, but it was true, that when I left for the day, that I was just standing on the other side of the door for 12 hours. Right, it's actually just like, come back.

And then I'd just come back inside, and then when I'd come back inside, she'd be like terrified and do that sideways crab walk that cats do when they're scared. Yeah so but that's that was a really good answer. Well yeah and it made me think about that Greenland shark that they found that is 400 years old. It's been around since the 1700s. This shark like since some Napoleon times.

You'd want to talk to that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Just blind and just talk to that guy. Yeah. Yeah, just blind and just floating through the ocean. It's so old. Still alive? Yeah, I think so. They tagged it and everything.

Yeah. Those are good questions. I would, both of what she said of the pets, I would want to know. I would love to know where he, what his story was because he was found on the street. Oh. How on earth would anyone wave this dog on a street?

He had no tags and he was not chipped. Wow. So I would love to know what happened there. And did you find him and snatch him? No, the Humane Society found him. And then we found him there. But I doubt he was out there long. He's so cute.

He probably got snatched pretty quick. Yeah. And then same, he cries and cannot, biggie, cannot settle down when we're not home and it stresses him out and I hate that. I do wish I could just be like, just sleep, I promise, you're okay and we're coming back.

Poor little pup. I know, I look at the cameras and he'll just be like, you can see his head going back like he's howling My heart what if you actually got the sound of the cameras news just going Yeah, he's does not like being alone. Do any of us? Some people do, actually. I do like being alone if it's late at night

and everyone's asleep and I'm in my house and I know everyone in the city's asleep and I'm playing my guitar. I like that a lot. Yeah. But in the daytime I get a little, a little. Really? Yeah, I don't like to be alone in the day.

I don't like being alone too much. Yeah. I don't mind being alone too much. Yeah. I guess a nice mix is good. A nice mix is good. Yeah, a good mix. Let's land there. A balance. Yeah.

Man. What a podcast. What a podcast. I'm sorry I wasn't as silly today. Never apologize. No. Never apologize. But it was nice talking with you guys.

Yeah. Always a guys. Yeah. Always a pledge. Yeah. Always a pledge. What if I started talking like that? Always a pledge. See, it didn't even sound weird to you. No, I was like, finally takes talking right.

Finally, something I can understand. I am at Largo tonight, June 17th, doing music and telling stories and with very cool musical guests. So if there's tickets left, come to that. And then other than that, I'm not doing any live shows for a little bit, but check out my album, I'm a TV on Spotify,

or you could watch Feel Good on Netflix. Yeah, so I'm basically just working out the new stuff, having some fun, silly shows. Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. Go to Tignotaro.com. What do you have going on, Fortune? Anything? Yeah, if you wanna come laugh with me and let all our sorrows go for an hour and a half.

Yes. June 20th, Lexington, Kentucky. Knoxville, Tennessee on the 21st, Asheville, Lincoln, California, Edmonton in Canada, San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Richmond, DC, Portland, Maine, Boston, Burlington, Mobile, I'm everywhere. You're everywhere always.

Everywhere all the months. Everywhere, but listen, I am so grateful to people coming to my shows and getting me through this time and all the lovely messages people are sending me. It's really nice. Mm-hmm. We love everyone. Well, I appreciate you guys.

Yeah, love you guys. We appreciate you. And we are all behind you and Ginger. Let's go, Ginger. One million percent. Thank you. And thanks for listening to the podcast. Please subscribe, subscribe to the show.

Also subscribe to the YouTube channel where you can see our beautiful faces on. You can see me crying and wiping my nose. Yeah, yeah. Head on over to YouTube. Who doesn't wanna miss that? And then. I had to cry today as well. Yeah, yeah. Head on over to YouTube. Who doesn't wanna miss that? And then.

I had to cry today as well. Yeah, you got teary eyed over there. Yeah, you can see my bad haircut. It's a good haircut. I'll fix it though. Also share an episode with a friend and help us build this very handsome community. Share this episode.

Share this episode. Give them a real taste of what it usually is like. They're like, God it usually is like. They're like, God, this is sad. Well, until next time, shall we? Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod.gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check that you've got a few books to prop your laptop up on before

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And we want you to listen to our podcast, No Gorge, now on HeadGum. Each episode, we will be bringing you vlogs, answering burning questions, discussing what's going on right now, and diving into all things fashion, hookups, gossip, and more. With past guests such as Heidi Klum and Dita Vontiz, NoGorge always keeps things hot. Listen to NoGorge on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday. Bye Gorge!