Handsome - Pete Holmes asks about inexplicable inexperiences

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

The hilarious Pete Holmes asks Handsome to share their most mystifying experiences! Plus senior drinks, Mae's caricature art, and a big Happy Birthday to Tig! Don't forget to get tickets to our May 4 Live Show in LA!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking which side of your car the gas tank is on when pulling up to the pump. Oh no. Now I have to pull off a seven point turn and a small parking lot just so I can fuel up. Yeah, check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. In partnership with Airbnb, let's talk a little bit about travel. TIG, as you know, I'm about to go on my first big tour around the United States. And while I'm traveling in a bus, I want to make sure I get a couple nights in a nice comfy bed that's not on wheels. So I'm going to book a couple nights stay on Airbnb. That sounds like a plan, May. What area are you looking? Well, I'm going to be in Florida, which I'm very excited about. And I'd love to find somewhere with a hot tub or a sauna that I can relax in, maybe some nice nature near. buy like a big park or something. I love finding a home on Airbnb because I know I can get the place all to myself and I can read tons of reviews and make sure it's a great place. Airbnb also has guest favorites badges that show me the highest rated and most loved homes. I'm just never gone

wrong booking one of those. You know I swam with sharks in Florida? Is that something you would ever try? I hadn't thought about that, but if I'm near the ocean, then who knows? Maybe I will. On the other hand, if I find a really nice place on Airbnb, I may just never want to leave. Handsome pot. Chatting the friends on the handsome pot. Chatting the friends on the handsome pod. Cheers. Welcome to the handsome pod.

I'm Fortune Feinster. I'm May Martin. And I am TIG Notaro. And it's TIG's birthday. Oh my gosh. 55. 55, baby. Oh, my God.

Double nickels. Finally, finally old enough to move into a retirement community. Is this the age where you get sodas for cheaper? Is that a thing? In America. In America it is? What does that mean?

There's a at fast food restaurants, which I know you love. You know me, girl. There's a senior drink. No way. You can order a senior drink and it's cheaper. And I think age might be 55, but I'm not sure. You have to do that. My mom orders them everywhere.

She goes. And I like a senior mellow yellow. That's so funny because I've, ever since I was like a young adult, I would say probably late teens, early 20s, probably even beyond that, I would, anywhere I would go, like if I would go to be parking my car in a parking lot and paid parking lot, I'd always ask, you know, oh, and do you offer a senior discount? Or if I, if I was like, you know, buying clothes at the mall or something, I'd be like, oh, and do you offer a senior discount? And they'd be like, some people would be like, well, you're not a senior or who is this for?

And then most people would be like, I got you. That's funny. And then they give me the senior discount. I'm like, thank you. Yeah, yeah. So I can't believe it now has caught up with me. It's upon you. That I can actually ask for a senior soda.

I'm going to Google to see if there is an age for it. Well, fortunately, that's Thomas's job to Google. He must Google our senior sodas. Thomas, when did the senior soda start? Now you should start asking for the kid discount. You like... Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not seeing something specific. Oh, actually, oh, Wendy's. I think... Senior soda? Oh, some people are saying 60. Some people are saying 55 plus. And you get a free senior beverage, which is a 15 ounce value cup of

soda or a small coffee. Wow. That's a weed beverage. Whoa. It's not even a discount. I know. I'm really going to be able to, you know, stash some cash away.

With all the money I'm saving on my senior soda. Suddenly you start going to fast food restaurants for the first time in your life. No, I did go until I was about 19. Oh, really? And then that was it. You're like, no moss.

Well, you know what's funny? I remember I was such a, and still am. this is no secret big indigo girls fan uh-huh and i remember them saying one of them or both of them saying to you know boycott fast food and i was like we'll do never going again that was that yeah yeah um and i just stuck with that and then becoming vegan nearly 10 years ago obviously that limits your options actually i actually have gone on the road um some of those places have had vegan burgers and I've stopped and gotten that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I stopped for a vegan burger once in the drive through of like, and maybe it was McDonald's or something where there was

no food around. I was like, okay, I'm going to do this. Yeah. It was good. And then like places like Chipotle, that's fast food. I go there. Oh, wow. We can't eat at Chipotle anymore. Yeah. What happened? Yeah, they're bad news. Really? Yeah. I don't know what happened. I think they're just funding all the, all the bad things. Oh. But it's a shame I love Chipotle, but. But they were like when I was on the road, um, yeah,

looking for some grub. Oh man. But now I have Happy Cow, which is the app that tells you where the nearest vegan food is to you. Oh, happy cow. Yeah. I love that app.

I'm really struggling to eat normal food on the road. I'm here on my tour bus now and I, I'm like eating insane times, insane things. I'm, I feel insane. Well, Well, let's, first of all, give us a peeksy of your bus. You're on a bus right now.

Torill us around. Well, okay, there's somebody napping in the bunks, so I can't show you the bunks. What do you mean somebody? Some, you know. Some randah. Do you have your own bedroom on this bus? I do have my own bedroom, which makes me feel like such an asshole. But I felt like I was going to sleep really well because I had a, I'm not on a bunk.

I'm in a bedroom, but my head is like right on top of the engine of the bus. It's like, rummabum, bum, bum. Yeah. Okay, this is. Good sound effect, by the way, a little count. Oh, look at this fancy auto boost. Oh, go to YouTube. Go directly to YouTube.

Take's favorite thing to say. This is like the expanded version. Like, it shrinks down when we drive. So we got two TVs opposite each other there. Well, hold on, Fortune. It's not my favorite thing to say. It's that there are things like May flexing. And May.

That may be seen. Yeah, May is flexing in their tour bus. Like, why would you just, you want just audio of that? Yeah, you need the visual. Okay, sorry to bother everyone. Don't go to YouTube and watch May flex on the tour bus. I wasn't teasing you. I was celebrating you.

And I wasn't being serious with you either. So we can drop the attitudes. What are you snacking on, Fortune? Um, what? I might have brought bignets from set last night. And so they're old bignets, but I don't care. Wait, are you in New Orleans? No, we were filming nights this week.

And they just have bignets on set? We ordered a food truck for the crew. Oh, oh, oh. Okay. So we ordered bignets and coffee last night because we filmed until almost 4.30 in the morning. And you're no fools. how delicious are bignets. I had one two days.

Two days ago I was in New Orleans. Oh, yeah? Is that your first bignet? Yeah, my first bignet. And I, it's so crazy because you go to sleep on the bus and then you wake up and you're in like a completely different place, different temperature, everything. And in New Orleans, we woke up like right by Bourbon Street, like just in the heart of everything. When I had a benae, I went, I saw jazz, I went to the voodoo museum. Where did you get your bignet?

I want to say it was called the musical legends park, but it was just a little courtyard and then it had a little, yeah, why? Do you know New Orleans? I went and I saw the Mississippi River. I couldn't believe it. Well, that's where it takes from. My great-great-grandfather was the mayor of New Orleans. Shut the front door. My mother was born in New Orleans. Cabin Dumont is the famous Ben-A place. Have we talked about the fact that your great-great-grandfather was? father was the mayor? I don't know. I don't think we have. That's crazy. Did he ever, did he ever meet him? Did he used to walk around with the grenade drinks? Me? Did he, did he invent those back in the day? Yeah, that's what my family's famous for. I used to spend my

summers in New Orleans on St. Charles Avenue. That's where my grandmother, yeah. What a party town. She lived next door to the Pontch Train Hotel and she had a... Ponty Train? No, the Ponch Train, which is the... Sounds like Ponty Train. No, and then there's Lake Pontch Train, which is a gigantic body of water with a huge, you know, bridge that goes over it. But she had a standing reservation at the Pontch Train Hotel, and that's where we would go eat every night, was there. Standing reservation is like, they just know that if you show up, you get a room?

Yeah. Wow. You get a table. Oh, right. Cool. Whatever you want. May it's like, you get a room? It's a cool city.

Yeah. Oh, it's so cool. What about Magazine Street? Did you make it out to Magazine Street? Didn't go to Magazine Street. But I went to like, I saw some jazz. I mean, I had such a short time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The show, the audience was raucous and wild and fun. Ruckus. And then, yeah, we were. went up my my tour manager had a gator poboy and it was crazy and did you have some I didn't have a bite actually I was scared I had a

shrimp a shrimp pobo it was so good yummers it's been insane that the handsome listeners are out in full effect at these shows the merch the gear the quotes so how is it going you had your fear your concerns you weren't going to sell tickets clearly it's off the hinges The, it's off the hinges. The tickets have been good and it's been great. I just, I feel pretty nuts. I mean, I, from, from sleep, but in every city I'm doing something. And tomorrow, I convinced them to let me go to Disney. I mean, I feel like a child just asking my parents if I'm allowed to, like, do fun stuff. But I'm going for like three hours to Disney and run around. Oh, because you're going to Orlando. Yeah, I'm in Orlando tomorrow.

Oh, my God. You're driving. Right. You're on a bus. And are you preferring, are you glad you're doing this as opposed to flying? No, it's a terrible mistake. Oh, really? Sounds like hell. I'm like just about settling into it. But the first few days I was like, how am I going to do this? Like, yeah, I just can't sleep.

It's a lot. A bus tour's a lot, for sure. Yeah. Especially for a little cowboy. You know, I got a fragile Constituche. Yeah, that's right. But the people at the shows have been so nice. And just like you guys, I don't remember what we say on this podcast.

So, like last night, this woman comes up in the meet and greet, and she goes, she's holding a banana. She goes, I want you to fuck me with this banana. I said, excuse me? And then she was like mortified. Then she was like, well, that's on the podcast. That was the big joke. And I was like, I don't know. I don't remember.

Oh, my God. I know. People contact me and or walk past me and say, I don't know what anybody is referencing. And not just with the podcast. When I do stand up or like anything I say, like in an interview or something, I'm like, what did I? Oh, okay. I know. I know.

That's an intense one to. Oh, my God. And I'm going up and say to you. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, but the shows are fun because I. do like 45 minutes of stand-up, then the second half is all like improv and music. And yeah, it's been, and also just like there's an added emotional depth to it right now,

especially in Florida and like I'm going to Kansas and Minneapolis. Like people are really happy to be in like a safe space and with each other. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, it's super nice. But strange, strange things are happening, of course, you know. Of course. Oh, like people are out in the world. Oh, I mean.

So many strange things are occurring. A day one, I found on the floor of a taxi, I found three sapphire blue dice. Can you imagine how much this spun me out? What does this mean? I was like if you were to say something crazy. I was like, yeah. Almost like me finding out who May made out with in the car. It's like, all right.

And then what? Okay. Last night at the show, last night was Atlanta. and at the show, they had all these security there. And they gave me these like... Whoa, whoa, whoa. You went New Orleans, Atlanta, and then you're going down to Orlando? Yeah, I went New Orleans, Atlanta.

Now I'm in Jacksonville. It probably was like when the theaters were available. For sure. But I'm just like, wow. Is that a weird? You're just back checking. Have you looked at a mat? No.

Well, Maine knows nothing about the... Okay. Well, yeah. No, everything's fine. That's the perfect route. to tick anyway. So I was like, you know, they give like a security brief thing and everything. And then so during the show, this woman just comes to the front of the stage. And I'm kind of looking around at security. Is anyone going to? She's just kind of, is in the middle of the show. And she's just

kind of on the front of the stage. And everyone's like what's happening. Then she pulls out these $1 bills. And she starts slowly putting $1 bills on the stage like this. Wait, while you're doing stand up? Yeah. So I stopped. I'm like, what's happening? Meanwhile, I'm like, does anyone know this woman? And security's just standing there. Then she, and she puts... They've seen worse. Yeah, they've seen worse.

She puts the money down and leaves. And then it was very strange. Yeah. Then in the meet and greet, like, she didn't have a meet and greet ticket, but I saw her come bud the line. No one asked her for a wristband. And then she's like, hey, I'm the woman that put the dollar bills on the stage. I'm like, I know.

What's how old we thought about? Oh, my God. And did you find out or she just got whisked away? No, nobody whisked her away. I mean, to her credit, she goes, I don't know. I just wanted detention. And I was like, all right, that's pretty honest. She's honest.

Yeah, that's very honest. I think you need to have a conversation, though, with your security guards. Me too. That there should be some whisking away if somebody. And not to say this person was dangerous or anything. No, she wasn't. But I was scared. Yeah, if people aren't following.

you know, if somebody's coming up to the stage or they're like cut in line, like maybe step in. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I've been pulling an animal tarot card with the audience at the beginning of every show like to.

Of course you have. To find like the energy of the show. Oh my God. It's really funny. When I do it. This is a vibe check, y'all. It's such a vibe check. And when I do it, I just see some people's eyes glaze over.

what have I come to? Can you imagine if I did a vibe check with tarot cards at the beginning of the We're going to pull collectively pull a tarot card to see what the energy will be tonight in this room? But then some people are like, oh, thank God I thought you'd never pull a tarot card.

Like they're excited. They're waiting for it. Yeah, yeah. That's what they know that. That's what they're going to get with a little cowboy. Yeah. Checking Allstate first, could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking the tour bus as an outlet for my

synthesizer, this must be remedied. I really want to jam out while I'm on the road, but instead I'm stuck listening to the radio. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies, subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Real change doesn't come from some big flashing moment. It comes from the routines you commit to. It's the small things you do every day that quietly add up over time. That's the idea behind Nutraful. It's built around a simple, consistent approach to hair health that works from within and delivers visible results over time,

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Well, it sounds like it's going well. It's super. I mean, what a... Even though you're not sleeping. Aside from that, it's amazing. And people are paying you dollars at the stage. But yeah, you're having a good time. I mean, are you basically gone now the whole time or will you come back to L.A. periodically?

Like I come back for 10 days and then I'm out pretty much till May. It's like, when do you get to have this type of experience though? True, true. And I'm getting all the weird local facts. Like everyone's giving me Mayfax. Oh, nice. You know, dental floss was invented in New Orleans and 7-Eleven was invented in Dallas, you know. Invented?

Yeah. 7-Eleven was invented. Like there was a mad scientist. They're like, we need a store that has everything all the time. Wasn't it supposed to be like opening at 7 and closing at 11? Oh, that makes so much sense. That never occurred to me. It used to be an ice store, but yeah, that makes sense.

7-11. Yeah. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about 7-Eleven, but I do feel like I heard that. Yeah. That sounds right. Yeah. Why not? Tig fact?

So, Tig, what are you going to do for your birthday today? We don't. Oh, well, should we let people in on the fact that it's not actually my birthday? We're typing just a few weeks ahead. Yeah. And I know we talked recently that Fortune was upset that she hasn't ever made it to any of my big parties. I know. And those are not ever going to happen again.

Oh, I miss out. Every single one of your freaking parties that was on the road. I want to throw you one. Okay. Well, throw me a surprise party. Okay. Yeah. You'll know everyone to call, right?

Yeah. And your cousin. Yeah, just my one cousin. And, but I don't know. I, because, let's be honest, this is 20 days ahead of my birthday that we're recording this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I honestly don't even know if I've won or lost an Oscar. It's insane.

Oh, I'm going to the Oscars too. Oh, you are? You are? I'm going to, I'm going on with Utopia. Oh, amazing. Yes. Oh, my God. My girls?

So I'll be there. I'll be there. rooting for you. Oh, I'll be rooting for you. And us. And us. Yes, all of us. But I would imagine I'll probably just have a chill dinner is the answer to that, which has become my favorite thing. Just to really lounge over a leisurely meal with some good people. Yeah. Yeah, but like the scaled down, scaled down. Not like a dinner party. Oh, okay. Just basically Stephanie and the boys are you.

No, maybe another couple. Okay. But who knows? I mean, also, I will have just had my eye surgery. Oh, yes. I've already had my eye surgery. I'm doing fine. How dare you.

Everything worked out great, you guys. My nose is in the back of my head. Yeah. Do I look any different? with my eyes. You're gorgeous. So yeah, I've either won or lost an Oscar and I've had eye surgery so far. I'm four days into recovery.

That was the thing about my birthdays. I don't know how I'm going to be recovering or feeling after the surgery. So I don't have any very clear plans unless somebody wants to make me feel special and surprise me. Do you, when you have like a birthday, dinner. Do you like it if other people make a toast about you or do you want to make your birthday toast or no toast? Gosh, I've never thought about that. And I like toasts. I like really earnest moments. Me too. Yeah, I love them. I think maybe I like an earnest moment as well.

You do a fortune? Yeah. I'm into it. Yeah. You know, maybe I've talked about it on the podcast, but like I don't mind when they're like with special moments weddings and things if there's funny stuff like hints of it but I really think it's so special when you really commit to the earnest moment and share like I think this about you and I see this about you and I appreciate this about you and yeah I'm yeah I just think it's really nice to hear, especially as a comedian. People expect comedy from me. And I like to show that other side.

And also, I'm open to receiving it. Yeah. So what do you want to toast? Yeah. I do think that's when our friendship was sort of cemented Tig was when we had that earnest dinner that remember that. The whole meal was earnest. Well, TIG and I had been around each other as comedians and friends of friends for a number of years, but everything was, you know, kind of surfaced.

Like you are in L.A. when you don't really know somebody. And then we had this dinner with some mutual friends. And I was, I think I had just been dumped by someone. Yes. Yeah. And I was just like, I had this come to Jesus like, I'm sad and I want to meet somebody. Yeah. And everybody at the table was just like, earn us back with me and we just had this like real meal and conversation and after that I think we were just like oh we're we're yeah yeah yeah yeah and then I bumped into you on that flight and you had found somebody right after that dinner yeah yeah yeah yeah I love that the rest is her story that was many many moons ago yeah yeah yeah uh years and god that yeah yeah because I'm I met jacks

a few months after that but I do. I remember at that dinner being like, no way, man. It's going to happen. Yeah. You gotta believe. That's right. But yeah, so toast me. May I go ahead. Go on. Oh, boy. Since you wrote it up. Okay. Raise your glass. Oh, boy. Let me see what I can pull out of my ass. Okay. I mean, even if you pulled something out of your ass, I'd take that as a birthday. especially if it was that bottle there. Yeah. But anyway. Okay. Well, we're gathered here to celebrate a dear, dear friend of ours.

You know? You know. You know. You know. No, I don't. When I first encountered Tiggs work, it's, it, I had that feeling that I would get along with this person. You know, I felt a connection even then, which is a rare quality for a performer to be able to reach through the screen and connect to the people. Then to have the privilege of getting to know someone who is so endlessly curious about themselves and others in the world who really values personal growth and wants to be a participant in life and relationships and family.

Yeah, what a gift. And I'm eternally grateful. And that's all for me. Oh, that is plenty. That is, thank you so much. Cheers. Clank. Not a laugh in sight.

Not a laugh in sight. No, no. Because it was so earnest. And that would be the perfect moment for a sound effect for our clank on handsome. A plank. Fortune, you're next. Mm. I didn't think I was

Now you're at the dinner party too Okay God this is This is a lot of pressure You know Being around all of the hilarious people at this table I did not prepare

Who's at the table? It's just the three of us Okay Was I wrong? No Thomas is there too And he's hilarious I'm like a butler My comment

Can we say Jen? Remains there. Jennifer Enison is there. She has brought a Greek salad. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. And do you want, well, Stephanie's there, right? I'm assuming Stephanie's there. Oh, yeah. She was able to make it.

Okay. Stephanie's there. Sarah Paulson, someone like that. Listen, now we're going real wide. Okay.

Okay. It's just my core people. Okay. Your core, your core, your core horrors. Is that a saying? No.

I just, it rhymes. All right. Wow. Yeah. Okay. We have to like have a group of people that buy the core horrors. Core horse. Yeah, you have to buy.

It's a tier of. Yeah. Well, you buy the core horror package and you tell us how many shirts you want. Anyway. Or hats. Okay. I did not come here with anything prepared. Because it's honestly hard to put into words.

Hey. How I feel. Yeah. About the person sitting across from me. Oh, is that where I am? Yeah, you're probably across from me. Yeah. Exactly.

Because it's a small table. We're courteeurs. I'm at the kitty table next time. And that person that we're here to honor to celebrate is our dear friend Tignitaro. Someone who has faced things in life that many of us can only have. imagine the amount of grit and strength that it took to overcome these challenges in life. As someone who took those challenges and dug in deeper to create a life for herself that she could not have ever imagined that it could have been this good.

someone who has had perseverance in a way. None of us can understand, but who loves and appreciates life as a result that every single day that TIG celebrates her life, she knows is a blessing, and we are blessed to share that life with her. To our friend, Tick Nataro. Cheers.

Flank. Wow. Wow. You understood the brief there. The brief was no last, deeply earnest. Yes. That was great. I'll see it the Oscars.

Yes, you will. For that speech, my goodness. I think that needs to be a tradition that we. On our birthdays. Yeah. I like that. Yeah, I do too. I like it.

I have a lot more I could say, but you were, you know. Oh, do go on. I wrapped up in Pretty Bob, but you were ready to clank, so. Well, I was trying to, you know, add some comedy to the drama. Oh, you were leaning away from the earnest. I know. I know. But that's all right.

That's okay. We landed the plane no matter what. And we did. My most earnest friend is with me on this tour, Matt, who lives in my backhouse. And it's such a joy. I'm like, this is why I brought him. Because every morning he's like, you know, buddy, we could. got to be grateful. This is really, what an amazing experience. Like to wake up in the city. It's so

nice to have someone just remind you that we're, like, two Canadian kids who are like, well, you definitely want that as opposed to someone who's like, oh, another day, another city. You definitely want someone who's finding the joy in it. You know, it was nice. I saw my grade 10 boyfriend yesterday in Atlanta, who I hadn't seen. Waka, Waka, Waka. I haven't seen him since I was 15. No, it was Devin Bambrick. And I haven't. I haven't seen him since I was 15 years old. And I met up with him. He's got a baby and a wife in Atlanta.

And the thing that made me feel so nice was he goes, the first thing I remember about you is that the first thing you said to me when you're 14 and showed up at the school is that you were going to be a comedian. I'm like, what an annoying kid. But also that's so nice. Yeah. Waka, waka, waka, waka. Now, let me ask you something. So your friend is on tour with you just to be a positive support. supportive pal.

No, he's doing improv with me. So I do stand up. Then I do a little improv set. And it's just the two of you doing it? Yeah, based on audience questions. But the audience is, they're horn dogs. They just want to see me kiss anyone. So they're trying to get me and Matt to kiss every night.

We've kissed every night. Your particular fans are very horny for you. Let me ask you something. When you're kissing your friend, is there a ton? No. No, you can't kiss your friend with time. I don't know what May is up to. It's in the fortune Marie.

No, ma'am. Does anyone kiss like that? I bet, I bet they do. There's got to be one person that does. And they make the noise too. With them being so horny, are you getting hit on? Yeah, it's like a little, you hate horny? Oh, you hate the word horny?

Yeah. We never knew this till now. We've said it a lot. Well, I finally thought it was time that you know. Wow. Well, we'll never stop using it. I know you won't. I know you won't.

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Yeah. I mean, people are like, there's like a, people are, are intense. I'll say, like, I'm flattered and people are super nice. But it is, it is sometimes like a bit of a double standard gender-wise where I'm like, if you were a guy saying this to me, I would be so alarmed, you know? And would you prefer that it not be a part. of your interactions with people at all? Or are you like, it's wild, but it's fine? I mean, I like that there's like an excitement and that people, but sometimes it's so like explicit that I'm like, and I'm such a people pleaser that I sometimes have, like,

I had one regret that someone came up at the meet and greet with, and we chatted and blah, blah, and then they said, can you sign this? And I signed it kind of as I was taking in what it was. And it looks like a legal document that said, this entitles the person to sleep with May Martin. Like, May Martin's the hall pass. Like, anyone holding this can fuck May basically. And I was afterwards, I was like, that is weird. I was like, why did I sign that?

Well, I'm surprised my document made it to you. A legal one too. Yeah. Wow, that's really. Things getting it notarized. You bet I am. That is wild. But then you don't.

I never want to be like, oh, that's a bit much because they've driven hours to come to the show and they're so sweet. To get this legal document signed. They're excited. But that doesn't give, just because they drove a long way, does it mean? I don't know. To sleep with me. I've never been a piece of meat, so I don't know what this feels like. Oh, please.

You are a prime. Yes. Yeah, you're a prime cut. I'm a pretty little ladies. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, you're a hot piece of ass and you're not signing any sex documents. Well, May, it sounds like you're...

Meanwhile, I'm a senior citizen. You're at Wendy's. Tigs of Wendy's getting that free drink. I'm just being demure and you're just signing sex documents. What a lie. You're contractually bound to have sex with all these strange. What a podcast. Well, should we get to our question?

Yes, indeed. Yes. Today's question asker is an actor, comedian, and podcast host who wrote and starred in the HBO show crashing. His podcast, You Made It Weird, has been running for 15 years, and his stand-up specials include Dirty Clean. I am not for everyone. And his new special, Silly, Silly Fun Boy, is out today.

and you can watch it on YouTube. Pete Holmes is asking today's question. Nice. Of course his special is silly, silly, fun boy. We were all supposed to do his podcast together. It was the first time we were booked as a trio onto his podcast.

I think forgot about it. I know. Don't try and make me. Yeah, I think I was the doctor. That's also when you get to this age, it's a full-time job to go to the doctor, by the way. And then May and I, for the first like 20 minutes of the pot or us going on,

I wonder if things coming. So we finally like realized we're not. Yeah. My apologies. It's all right. We're all together now. Forever. Until April, at least.

All right. Let's hear what he's got to say. Hi, handsome people. It's Pete Holmes. Thanks for including me. I love your pod. Valerie loves your pod. Look, she's wearing the little cowboy.

Hey, little cowboy. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah, Pete did tell me that. I'm kidding. We're fans. And my question is, could you share something that happened that was just completely inexplicable? Like maybe a psychic, maybe a UFO, maybe a ghost. Yes, this is something I ask on my own podcast.

But it's my favorite question. And I'd really love to hear the answer. Hmm. I love it. I mean, I love a lot of what Pete's into. Like, I'm similar. Like, I think when we did his podcast, did we test where you have to close your eyes and then guess if someone's staring at you?

Uh-huh. Yeah, you two seem like perfect matches. Any time we bump into each other out and about within 20 seconds, it's like, is there life after death? Conversation circus starts. Silly, silly, silly fun boys. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Some of these things we've talked about on the pod, I, I, I don't. I'm always like, what's interesting to me about inexplicable things is like in the future, are we going to find out that it's scientifically explicable, you know? Like the things that they would have thought were miracles 100 years ago, that now science is like, oh, no, that's the thing, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like that we have a bio-electromagnetic field.

Like we have an aura that I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, that feels like a conversation for you and Pete. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, I'm trying to think if one stands out. Do you have, does anyone have one off the top of their dome? Yeah, well, the psychic who's... Careful, May. Oh, my God, go to YouTube.

Go to YouTube. May's earbud flew out. Flew out. That was inexplicable. That was inexplicable. The psychic whose face melted recently. that I talked about in the pod and it was a psychic I there yeah yeah psychic I saw in Toronto and her face shifted into a different phase oh right yeah she told me like

this can happen and then it is yes and then the one that I've also maybe talked about is when I manifested my friend David in Nepal like wrote his name down he just came into my mind so clearly. I was up in the Himalayas and there was a hut where you could like send positive wishes to friends or whatever and all these travelers had stuck it on the wall and I so clearly in my head thought David Martin I wrote it down once then I wrote it again on the back stuck it down not two days later I'm walking down the street in Kathmandu Nepal there he is walking towards me this is my my my you know he'd been my coke dealer in high school I haven't seen him in a lot He was doing an old Coke beer.

No, he was a dear friend. And then we like... Can we call him Catman dude? Catman dude? No longer selling Coke, right? No, he was sober. He was with his mom. He was like...

And we spent the night that night just talking and talking. But yeah, that felt really like I've magnetized him where he magnified me. Yeah, that was very weird. Yeah, what about you? I've talked about it on the pod before, but my mom always had...

the most inexplicable thing happened on the way for me being born, where she, I'll tell it very briefly. You tell this all the time except not on this show. Yeah, I don't think I've heard this. Really? I don't know. I don't know. Well, okay, then I'll tell it.

And if I, it's a repeat that my co-host don't remember it. So it doesn't matter. My mom wanted a girl so bad. she had two boys, but this was like back when you didn't know the sex of your baby until your baby was born. And it was when you stayed in the hospital for a lot longer, pre and post birth. And when my mom was in the hospital about to have me, all the nurses were trying to guess what my sex was based on their experience. And they said based on my heartbeat, I was either going to be a boy or a lazy girl. Maybe you have mentioned this.

Because I was like so chill. And but my mom was like, but I knew in my heart of heart, she loves to say this. I love it when my mom tells this story. But she's like, I knew in my heart of hearts, you were a girl. And even though everybody was like, you're having another boy, you're having another boy. And she said, as they wheeled her out to have me, this, this woman appeared out of nowhere. I say Delorese jokingly, but she describes this person in a way

that's very similar to Delorese and Touchman Angel. But this nurse appears out of nowhere. She's never seen her and she's been there for a few days. And she goes, I will see you and your 10-pound baby after you give, or baby girl. I'll see you and your 10-pound baby girl after you give birth. And she said, I can't explain it. this nurse looked in my eyes in a way that was like,

she's like, I knew it. I knew she was right and it felt very like otherworldly. And she gave birth to me. I was a girl. I was 10 pounds or 10.5 pounds, whatever it was. And she was in the hot. I had a few things that required me to stay in the hospital for like another like six days or five days. Lasiness.

Lazyness. Yeah. And she never saw the nurse again. Whoa. And she asked around about this person and they're like, what are you talking about? Yeah, she died 20 years ago. Are they like, oh, well, Della Reese works here, but she left for vacation. I like to say I was ushered into the world by an angel.

Yeah. I'll see you in your 10 pound baby girl is such a big swing if you're just guessing. Like that is such a, like it feels like she knew. That woman knew. And when my mom tells it, she takes pause. She's very dramatic. It's a lot more. When my mom tells you the story, you're like, yes, Orgin was ushered in by an angel.

When I tell her, it doesn't have the same effect. My mom gets very dramatic into telling this story. Classic ginger, just dramatic. Dramatic. Taking a lot of creative liberties. But yeah, she was like, she is convinced that this was an angel of some sort. So am I. That's great.

I'm convinced Yeah So that didn't happen It's technically About me Not to me But my mom's had You were there

You were present I was there It was about me Della Reese Brought me into the world But I mean You know As far as ghosts

And she can take you Right out of it too Yeah If you see her You know You're in trouble I'm not had Like

I think ghost wise I always say Like Some people are susceptible to it and some aren't. I'm not really susceptible to it. The only time I experienced anything that was like tangible was in the rental house. I had my first season of Fubour in Toronto.

I saw a shadow walk into a room as I was coming up the stairs that I thought it was Jacks. And I went into the room and she wasn't in it. And I was like, Jackson, she was upstairs. And I was like, were you just downstairs? She was like, no. and I was like, oh, that's so weird because it was like...

The height of a person walking into the room. Did you move like... Houses? Yeah. No. But later that night, we were on the couch and I felt a draft go over my arms

to the point. I looked up to see where the air conditioner was and there was none near me. Wow. And then I never experienced anything again the rest of my four months. there. Why, I like that.

My God. Inexplicable, you guys. God. It was Delores checking on me. See if I was lazy. My grandma, I've said this before too, but we don't remember. Let's hear it again. Let's hear it again.

Just that my grandma went to a psychic and she wanted to contact her boyfriend who passed away, I think. And it was a psychic who didn't charge money. It was like the Chelsea Psychic Society. And the psychic said, your father's come through. And she said, wow, I didn't really have a relationship with my father. He died when I was really little. I kind of am here to talk to someone else. And the psychic said, well, sorry, your dad is here.

And he wants to say, he's sorry, he yelled at you for brushing the fabric on his top hat the wrong way. And she's like, that's my only memory of my father. Oh, wow. Like what the hell? that's crazy. I love stuff like that. Me too. This isn't inexplicable, but what is because I think it's just based on a soul connection, but I like when my grandmother passed, I felt it happened.

And I looked at my watch, so I knew exactly when it happened. And I called her house, and my dad picked up the phone and was like, uh, can we call you back? And he called me back home a month later. He's like, I didn't know what to say to you. Your grandmother, like, literally just passed. Wow. But I've never had that before. I don't, I think obviously that's not some of the experience with a bunch of people. But yeah, I've never felt anything like that ever where I just like, I was sitting in my bed at college and I was like my grandmother just died. We're going to find out one day like that all of this metaphysical stuff is real, like that you are connected to your loved ones and can sort of like quantum entanglement, right? Like if like a particle.

Am I right, guys? Quantum entanglement. Hey, ladies. That's a real thing that you can, you know, a particle can remotely affect another particle. And like they measured the brainwaves of a mother and her daughter. And they were in separate rooms meditating. And in the room with the daughter, they were flashing the lights. And so the daughter's brainwaves were spiking.

And the mother's brainwaves were doing the same spikes, even though they were. So, like, you know, you know. Yeah. What about you, Tiglet? Don't have anything. TIGLITL. That's not true.

I feel like with Andrea, there's been things around that that have felt very serendipitous and straight. Like that, Basker playing the song. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, so many things like that. Yeah. Yes. But I guess that's explicable.

You're like, well, that's Andrew. Well, yeah, I can share that. But what I was going to talk about at, Which I've probably already said. And, you know, going to the hospital to get Max and Finn when I went to fill up the car. I think I've shared. No, go on. The car that was parked in front of me filling up their tank.

I put the gas, whatever, the handle in the gas tank and then went and sat in the van waiting for it to fill up because it was. was fully on empty. And the car that was parked right in front of me, also filling their car up, had a sticker across the back window that said Finn Max. Oh, wow. That is for me. Yeah. I thought I was hallucinating. And I was like, what? And this was like the day they were born. And so I look it up and it's a production company, Finn Max Productions. That's crazy. Oh, that's what it said, Finn Max Productions. And I was saying they're going,

Thomas, we look that up and see what shows they do? But it was just outrageous. I've never seen it since. I never, nothing. Like, never heard of this production company. I feel like they've done really big things. And you already had their names? Yeah, yeah.

That is mind-blowing. That's crazy. Did anything come up with? Finmax productions? Possibly Shark Tank? Yes. Oh, that's mega. Yeah.

That's huge. But I was truly like my eyeballs like a cartoon were like boi-er-er-ring. So that was a really bizarre moment. I guess I thought I shared that with you, but I didn't. That's cool. That was inexplicable. You know, my bus driver is called Jeff and he has an identical twin called Jay. and he was also a bus driver

and I keep imagining what if they swap out or something and I'm like should I like maybe I should plant things with Jeff that only Jeff would know and then I can test and make sure it's still Jeff's up. That's so smart thing to do. Would it matter who's driving?

Of course, fortunate. You might like his brother just as much as well. That's true. He said that he's going to wake me up super early like in the middle of the night tomorrow to see the sunrise going into our Orlando apparently. No, thank you. No. I mean, you're right. I'm like, bud, that's something I'm going to let you experience. Yeah, you're right. I might have to if you wake up naturally and you get to see it great. Yeah. So Fortune, you're not going to do well when we have our

wellness getaway weekend. No. Because you're going to have to get up early, watch the sunrise and drink green juice. Meditate. TIG, you know me, I'm going to be weeping. I'm going to be weeping. I'm going to journaling. I will be earnest during this because I know it means a lot to the two of you. So I will participate. I will not be a, I'm not a, um, for sport, buzzkill, yes.

I, I can adapt to the environment. I'm in. Okay. Good to know. But, you know, it will be, I,

you're still going to find a way to ruin it. I can, I can read between the lines. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. digging in. All right.

Yeah. I truly cannot wait. And I know that we probably won't find a time to do it. But it, I'm throwing, I'm going to start throwing some dates out for like June July. No, you won't. No, you won't. Don't test me because I will.

And then you're going to be like, oh, God, I have to do this now. Oh, my God. Should we see what Pete has to say? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. My answer is I talk to a psychic. on the phone, Val knows this story.

And I wanted to know about this relationship that I was in. I was kind of struggling in the relationship. Didn't have anything, this is important, didn't have anything about that relationship on Facebook or Instagram or anything. It was over the phone. I also think it's important to note. I wasn't like a really a public person at that time.

And we spoke and immediately this person intuited, she's like, you wanna talk about your relationship? And I was like, yes. And then my nickname for this girlfriend was Boog, as in Booger. You have something? Can I talk to you for a second? That's a relationship that we have whenever we mention an ex we go. Can I talk to you for a second?

So this girl, I called her Boog, and she called me Boog, short for Booger. So she said you want to talk about relationships? and I said yes. And the first thing she said was, who is bug? That is just like paradigm shifting. Yeah. I kind of think he's lying. Everybody that I've mentioned this to is like,

oh, you probably put it on social. I'm not like that. I've never been like that. I do not post. I don't talk about nicknames, pet names. It was completely mind-blowing. Wow. She was probably also like, and why do you,

have a nickname of Booger for your girlfriend. She's like, this seems like it's on the rock right. She's not going to laugh. Maybe she high-tailed it out of town looking for someone to rename her something. You cannot have her nickname be bug. Yeah. I would be like,

time out. Yeah. I'm looking for something a little less disgusting. That's cool. I wonder, I would have follow up for Pete if he has remained calling that psychic. because that seems pretty proficient. Psychic. You find a good one?

I think, yeah, you should stick with it. Yeah. Don't let it go. Never let go. Don't let that psychic go, friend. Don't do it. I do enjoy a check-in with a psychic every now and then. I love it when someone tells me, you got to talk to this person.

Yeah. Their reading was like so spot on. I'm like, then I'm like, oh, I want to talk to that. person. Yeah. Like there's a guy in L.A. The coffee grounds guy, he reads coffee grines, like a Turkish coffee, and it's a really specific medium.

And a lot of people recommended him to me. I want to go see him. He, part of saw him. And he was, yeah, very accurate. Hmm. I would like to start a business where I do it and just try my best. Oh my God. That would be great.

Yeah. Tig reads, um, Brock. stems. There you go. So you bring a broccoli stem in and then she will just tell you what is up. That's right. I've also wanted to actually speaking of New Orleans, I've always wanted to put up an easel and just do caricatures. I got one done. Okay. Well, it's not unusual. You were in New Orleans, but I've wanted to to start my own caricature business or even just portraits. and then just try my best. I love it. And then people are disappointed.

And I'm like, I didn't say I was good. I'm just, look at those biceps. Thank you. I'm trying to stay. Okay, don't go to YouTube. Don't go to YouTube. Oh, man. I'm trying to stay fit on the bus.

It's working. It sure is. That's good. You like that? Yeah, I really like the mustache too. Is there a mustache? Caracature. Characatures of me are so wildly offensive.

They are the war. Anybody who, okay, anyone who's ever been like, I drew you, I'm like, no, thank you. Yeah. I don't want to. Yeah. It's, it is. I already have a big, I know I have a big chubby cheek face, but they like take this and they run with it. what do they do with your hair is my question it's usually wildly insane too like a bird's nest

there has not been one drawing of me or caricatured or anything that has been flattering it is every time i see it i'm like oh okay why don't you pay me 20 dollars how much was your caricature well the crazy thing was like how much and he goes i don't charge and i said well but how much is it he goes i don't charge but if you want to give me a gift he goes i don't charge but if you want to give me a gift So then it was really confusing, but I gave him 20 bucks. There you go. Okay. Well, look at that right on the, right on the nose.

So pay me 20 bucks. We can do this at a wellness weekend. You're going to draw it. You know who would be good at wellness weekend? Pete Holmes. Yes, he would. Pete Holmes would be down for wellness weekend. Yeah, but I think you need.

Let's kick, let's kick fortune out. Wait. I don't know. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, I'm not getting replaced by a boy. Yeah. A Tudy Fart on y'all the whole time. Well, yeah, it is a silly, silly fun boy.

But yeah, I want to do portraits and caricatures on Wellness Week. I know mine's not going to be great. I'm telling you, I've never been given. Oh, I'm going to draw you like the little angel that you are. No one's ever drawn me in a way where I've been like, that is so flattering. Oh, my God. It is like, let's take the things about you we notice and times it by 10. I look like a man that has three minutes left before.

Although I did really enjoy the, remember early on in the pod, someone made some of our episodes into cartoons. I enjoyed that. I just really like the, when someone put our faces on the cast of friends, or on Jennifer Hester. Oh, yeah, that was Lisa Kudra.

And, yeah. Yeah. Well, that was a good time. What a time. What it's so good time to be alive. What a nice grounding check-in for me while on the road to see my pals. And what a great birthday that I had. I know, happy birthday.

I mean, and who knows if I won or lost the Oscar. I know. That is so wild. I have a fun announcement. Oh. Are you pregnant? No. I just announced a European tour.

Oh, girl. And I'm going to a bunch of cities that I haven't been before that I'm very excited to go to like Stockholm, Oslo, Copenhagen, Oslo, Dublin. And I will be returning to London. And I already did Amsterdam. But I'm super stoked. They are going to be at the end of May into June. So for our European handsome listeners, I'm coming over there.

And then in the meantime, I'll also be at Oklahoma City, Fayetteville, and Little Rock, Arkansas, San Antonio, Dallas, and Des Moines and Toronto, and then headed to Europe. Unbelievable. Australia in August, so Australia dates are coming as well. Wow. Downanda, I can talk to them like I sound like Tony Club. What if you get to the airport and they say they turn you away at customs? No, they've heard the phone. We appreciate you trying.

Dynasty typewriter in Largo, in Los Angeles, they'll be in New Hampshire, Newtown, Connecticut, Portland, Maine, Red Bank, New Jersey, billing and Washington, Brooks, California.

It just goes on and on. Go to tignotaro.com. Also, check out, come see me in the good light on Apple TV. It may or may not be an Oscar award-winning film. I'm going to see you at the Oscars, though. I know it, girl.

We're going to party all night. I am, tonight I'm in Cleveland, Ohio, then tomorrow, March 25th, I'm Pittsburgh, then New York, Philadelphia. But check out Maymarton.com. In April, I'm everywhere. I'm absolutely everywhere. So please come to one of the April shows, girls. And also, we have new merch available at handsomepod.com. We have cheese in my pocket.

and party kisser. Oh, that's going to sell like cuckoo, cuckoo things. I have choosing my pocket. I work you will kill it. We have these crazy silly things that have it on the pond and suddenly there's like a shirt. Yeah.

It's amazing. We have great, great, handsome and pretty little ladies and babies and we love to keep building this community. So please subscribe and rate and review. It is so important. the show and share this episode with a friend or family member

and say, come on, come on, join the handsome community. And until next time, what do you say we Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett.

Email us at handsomepod.g.com. And please follow us on social media at Handsome Pod. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you make some time to binge that new reality TV show.

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we have a YouTube channel to go with it. That's exactly right, Natalie. You can watch full video episodes of our podcast Exploration Live at YouTube.com slash Exploration Live podcast. That means that in addition to the audio component, you're also getting a video component. Exactly, where you're seeing our reactions, what kind of clothes we're wearing, and there's a whole suite of dynamics and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video.

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