Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #100

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

Mae and Fortune ring in our 100th Pretty Little Episode with gay awakenings and "before and after" moments!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the water temperature before I tread some water. Mayday. This pool is freezing cold, so now I'm treading as fast as I can in a desperate attempt to warm myself up. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote.

It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company, and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome pot. Chatting the friends on the Handsome Pot. Chatting to friends on the Handsome Pod.

Pretty Little Episode. Welcome to the Handsome Pod's Pretty Little Episode. I am Fortune Feemster. I'm May Martin. And you guys, we just realized, per Thomas, this is our 100th pretty little episode. I mean, we've had a lot more of our regular episodes, but 100 bonus episodes. It's pretty cool.

So that means probably like 300 people have had their questions answered. That's pretty cool. Something like that. That's very cool. Really cool. I love getting questions from people that from all over the world, really. I just, I wish conversation in general works like that. People come with their prepared questions.

I love it when people ask me questions. Yeah. Because I am better at answering questions than I am at offering information. Oh, yeah. That's true about you, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's not like you come into a room and go, oh, all this is shit is going on with me.

And like, I've been thinking about this. Yeah, you got to go fortune. What's been up with you? And I like, oh, it's funny. You should ask. Yeah. Let me think. And then.

Let me think it's my birthday today. Oh, my birthday is coming up. Oh, boy. Ooh. I'm going to be in a cake. You're going to answer your door and there's going to be a big old cake and I'm going to jump out of it. Me and a cake. You and a cake. I know. So who's behind you on your little shelf there? I'm seeing some pretty cute. I know. Thank you for noticing May. I got tired of having a very boring area behind me. I got tired of having a very boring area behind me. I, I,

Well, I just got my office painted, so this is the new color. Kind of grayish, a light grayish brown. You went from white to light gray? I went to cream. I went from cream. Cream to a light gray just to give it a little warmth. Right. And it's a little cloudy gray.

It looks beautiful. When you see it in person, it doesn't look as brown, but it's not super gray. I don't know what this color is. I get, yeah, I picked it out. And I trust their opinion. Yeah. So I finally could get my little. trinkets out and I've got

our ha ha ha award from Just for Laughs for Just for Laughs. I have this little thing of us that my social media gals gave to me. A little framed photo of the boys. It's of us. You can only really see this if you're

watching the video. I apologize. A fan gave me a sign that says y'all means all. Oh, yeah, I love that. Pretty good. I have the handsome sign that a fan would work for me. I have our Signal Award that the Handsome Pod won.

God, what a podcast. What a podcast. We won a Glad Award. I'm checking in to see if I get one of those puppies to put out here. I've got my Fortune Marie croat. Not crocheted. What is it called? Needle point.

Needle point. Yeah. Then I have my, um, uh, someone, this is crochet, right? Can you see it? The owl. It's a hooter's owl. Oh, it's a hooter's owl. The fan crocheted, I want to say.

I don't know my craft. Yeah. Little owl boobes under there. Do I also boobs? There's no boobs actually. It's just an owl. Birds don't breastfeed, do they? But maybe these are that, maybe the eyes are supposed to be the boobs.

Oh, they very much are if you. It's a creative. They took creative license. Yeah, those are big boobyes. Another fan gave me an Alf. Oh, hell yeah. From our infamous Alf episode. Oh, my God.

That was early days. Very early. Where you said something and I said, then why did I go dressed as Alf? Apparently caused a ripple of happiness with people. And then I have a couple little nibbles, maple stick. I have the Funko Pop. Wait, what?

You know Funko Pops? Oh, the little head guys? Yeah, the little bobby head guys. Hold on. I love that this is a sort of very handsome pod centric. Well, I feel like the gays in charge of my interior design are going to have a problem. They're going to be like, um. They're going to be like, I don't know.

Well, it's nice to see it. It looks very warm and cozy in there. Well, you know, it's, I feel like I've got to have a little personality in my house. When you have three gay men in charge of your designs, it's very sterile, clean, mid-century modern. Like beautiful, but I'm like, I need a little, I still, I need a little pop of something. I'd be a lot. If I went over to your house and there was nothing, I'd be, I'd think you're a serial killer.

Oh, yeah. No, I do have my video game in here. So I've kept that. But I did just get my, this. I'm like, what of my home improvement? show. I did just get my fireplace marbled. It's gorgeous. Covered in marble? Covered in marble. Holy. Wow. That's very like ancient Roman sexy. Cool. I really want you to have like a fake, of course, but like a polar bear rug that you can recline on in front of your marbled.

Yeah. Well, at some point we'll have to go to each other's places to see our styles. Don't tease me. I'm going to come. I'm going to do your show tomorrow night. You asked. Are you actually? Yeah, I texted you. Oh, my God. You just didn't see it yet.

Oh, amazing. Oh, great. Okay, that'll be great. So what's going on with you? Enough about me and my trinkets. My trinkets are also thriving. I got a little metal mouse here. What's going on with me?

Last night I went to see the screening of the RuPaul movie. Oh, yeah, I saw it. It's funny. I loved it. It reminded me of like. Yes, almost like Austin Powers type of comedy, innuendo. It reminded me of airplane too. Very airplane.

Yeah, I loved it. I was really in the mood for that. Yeah. It comes out, or it's out now, per this. And I think people should go see it. It's really funny. We got to support it because. Stop that train, right?

Yeah. It's just insane that there haven't been more movies where drag queens are the stars. They're funnier than any one. They're really funny, really entertaining. Yeah. And it's just deliver a punch line. Hell. Yeah. So joyful. So, so good. So I did that.

Then I went for dinner with Parvety and I said, I told the waiter, they were like, are you celebrating anything? And I said, yeah, we just got engaged as a joke. And then he was like, oh my God. How did it happen? Like, what was the story? And then I was like, oh. And so I said, we were in, it was just in the car. And he was like, in the car? And then he was like, disappointed. in your story. I started panic and then they sent free champagne and then another waiter came over and was like, I heard we're celebrating. I was like, oh no, why did I do this? We're not engaged, but we did get some free champagne. Okay. There you go. Yeah. That's how I used to do in college when we would go to a chain restaurant. I would tell them it was my birthday so I could get a free dessert. Oh, that's the best. I miss the days where you could tell the pilot it was your birthday and then go sit on his lap. That was a thing. I swear that was a thing for it.

I never settled on the pilots laugh. You're missing out. I have had a couple of pilots in current times, asked me to come into the cockpit because they like my comedy. And I've been like, and I'm just like, hey. And you've done it? You've gone in the cockpit? Yeah, I'm like in the cockpit, like chatting with them.

Not during the flight, like boarding and stuff or when you're exiting. God, you must, they really trust you. I mean, you have a very trustworthy open face. Like, yeah, they're not worried you're going to pull anything crazy. I'm not going to pull anything. I just want to get where we need to go safely. Let's do it, guys. You remember DB Cooper, that whole urban myth?

No, what's this? This guy, I think it was like the 70s or something. 60s, this guy robbed a plane. He said he had a bomb on him or something and he robbed a plane. And then he jumped out of the plane, parachuted with like millions of dollars and they never found him. And so people are like, did he survive? Wait, is that the cocaine bear story? No.

Is that the same thing? That's someone else. And wait, what is this guy's name? I'm going to look it up later. D.B. Cooper. It's a great one. Okay. I'm going to look it up.

Well, should we get some questions? Yes, please. It's our centennial century anniversary. Nice. Wait, can I guess the name of the person? Oh, okay. I heard it was a guy, I think, not to presume. But I'm going to guess the name of the listener.

If I get this right, how crazy would that be? It would be crazy. Ben. Okay. I'm going to guess as well, and I'm going to guess David. Okay. Hello, handsoms. This is Spencer from New Jersey. My question for you is, what was a moment or event that you looked back on and describe your life as before or after blank? Oh, wow. Okay. I mean, I can answer that pretty easily. I would say currently, I have a, you know, pre-marriage pre-imposed marriage,

life, I feel like, you know? Yeah. Or like pre-divorce, post-divorce. Yeah, yeah, I guess that's more accurate, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's a major life path shift. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, you know, even though like, you know, my job's the same, friends are the same,

it's like new house, new routines, new things, new life, new, you know, it's an adjustment for sure. Yeah. But it's definitely a significant time in my life of pre and post. Yeah, that's mega. Yeah. I, I, the first thing that came to my mind was pre-seeing Ace Ventura and post-seeing Ace Ventura because I don't even know.

What year did it come out? What I would have been? I bet, I'm my guess. Yeah. 92. 94. So, yeah, I was seven. Not bad.

Yeah, really good. I was seven and I it changed my life like I it came out in in North America and then I had seen it and I moved to England and it hadn't come out yet in England and so I would do all the lines and sort of pretend I came up with that character like at school and stuff I was like you hold your butt cheeks and go can I ask you a question one million percent I did and I did a lot of like a lot of all righty then a lot of righty then. Give it to us. Give it to us. Oh, wait. Alrighty then. There we go. I did a lot of, yeah, like, all of those lines. So that was huge. And it just set me on a path of like that being a real weirdo could be cool and funny.

Yeah. Doesn't hold up when you rewatch it. Really? I haven't watched it years. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on cards. insurance. Not checking how far north I am when I play a summertime show. That's a problem, eh? I'm so far north, the sun doesn't set until midnight, so I guess I'll just close the blinds and try to get some shut-eye. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you

hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Also, I guess I'm going to say top surgery. That changed. That was the biggest life changer. Really? You felt like a different, like a whole different person? Yeah, or like more like myself. Like I felt it was like I had been like shrink wrapped in latex or cellophane my whole life. And not realizing it that everybody didn't feel this like and then it was like someone had just zipped off the cellophane and I could, I was like, oh, you know. Oh, I really, yeah.

I didn't know until I, until I had the surgery how, how much better I feel. Transformative it would be. Yeah, big time. And it coincided right with me moving to L.A. too. So I went nuts, dating around tan with my shirt off. I remember when you first moved L.A. I almost burned all my bridges in this industry very quickly by really dating up a storm. You were dating up a storm.

Oh, my Lord. I really was. It was infamous. Oh, God, was it? I mean, the word got around for sure. Oh, my God. Oh, no. But, you know, you had your fun.

I really did, yeah. In that sort of vein, I would say another distinct time for me would be pre-coming out, post-coming out. I was definitely like that was this huge transformation as well where I finally felt like myself. Like all along my whole life, something was missing. And I didn't know what it was.

And it just felt like I could never, like I was happy, but I could never fully be myself. Because there was just some thing that was like, what is this thing I'm searching for? And when I came out, it was just like, as Oprah says, an aha moment.

Aha, ha, ha, all right you then. It was like, the weight of the world felt lifted off my shoulder. and I feel like I was so much lighter after that. It's that cellophane thing, the shrink, you know, yeah. Should we hear what's Bencer has to say? Yeah. For me, it's before or after I decided to start shaving my head.

I struggled a lot with my confidence and self-image ever since I was a kid, and I had started balding in my early 20s during college. It wasn't until one summer that I decided to do the big shave that I realized just how much it was affecting my. life. I love how I look and feel now and I'm convinced that every single person should shave their head at least once in their life just to try it. Maybe Thomas can add it to the list for you guys. I love it. Can't wait to hear your answers. A nice shaved head. A group head shave? I can't do that. My face is too fat. I think you'd look incredible. Not happening. What would I do because I touch my hair so

I know. You're like a hair person. Oh, but I know that I know it would be good for me psychologically to have to. You could rock it for sure. You, you and you and Tig can rock short hair. You shall have those thin, chiseled faces. People have said to me that I should shave my head to like M&M and bleach it yellow, you know, or whatever, blonde and shaved short, but I don't know, man. I can see you maybe doing it for a role one day. Really? temporarily. Imagine you thought that was going to be your big Oscar thing and then it just bombed. The movie bombed. No one's on. You suffer. Like one of those people that had to like lose 60 pounds and gain 40s. Like yeah. That must happen all the time actually for actors.

Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Let's hear another one. Hey, handsome's and happy pride. It's Mattie coming at you from Niagara, Ontario. I actually was just at a pride event at a local cafe. Faye last night and a conversation that came up there was your celebrity, gay awakening, or even gay awakening growing up, whether that was someone you knew. So curious about you guys who that was, whether a celebrity or not. Oh, I mean, this is so richly part of my lore as Katie Anderson, my camp counselor, Katie. That's right. Who I just must have been so annoying to just following her around like a mosquito. Yeah. And then even when camp ended like calling her at her college dorm from a pay phone outside my middle school. Like yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. It was crazy. I,

but I didn't really. Can you imagine me in the college student getting this phone call and you're like, hello? Yeah. Being like, it's this kid. Hi. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. What did she say when you called? I think I was like Oh my life's really messed up You know I hate my parents Everything's fucked Like I think I was drama High drama

And she was probably like Okay well She's all gonna be okay You're good You got this Good luck And then Bet Midler and Hocus Oh

And my first ever sex dream What That's right Yeah sex didn't happen But the three witches I was naked And they ate my butt Like a meatloaf

They sliced it into in the dream. I remember it's so vivid. I remember you talking about this dream, but I don't know how I forgot about the butt part. Oh, maybe I didn't say that. I don't think you.

If I'm wrong, Thomas, May say that? I think May did say that. Oh, maybe I just, blocked that out. Blocked that out of my memory.

They were cutting it into slices. I didn't, yeah, and I just was like, I gotta have that dream again. I loved that dream. You're like, I need this to happen.

Yeah. What about you? Wow. That is so. funny. I mean, I've talked about it before. My celebrity gay awakening, but that didn't, it still didn't make me realize I was gay, but, you know, with Sandra Bullock. Yeah. And while you were sleeping, I was like, what is this? Yeah. And I just, I, I think that probably awoken the, at the time loving the, like, girl next door type vibe. Yes. Um, so even though it didn't,

uh, make me come out, it definitely was like, oh, But my, I mean, I would say, you know, the L-word show was a part of my gay awakening. Just like seeing these characters in their community. Yeah, yeah. Was a big part of like, oh, there's like a community out there. Like, there's just like women holding hands and getting coffee and going to dinner. And that sounds so naive now, but it really. was like, yeah.

I mean, I'm from a small town in North Carolina, there was not one out gay person when I was growing up. Yeah, that's wild. So I just did not see that. Yeah, and then it becomes that you think it becomes this like mysterious lifestyle. And then when you can actually see it on TV and be like,

oh, they're just literally like normalizing it. Yeah, yeah. But I will say just like seeing those pretty ladies kiss. Oh, my God. That was like I mean And I have so many straight Lady friends

That were very turned on By that show as well I think it did a lot For a lot of people It did a lot Yeah What was the theme song? It was like

Come and go Fighting fucking fella Fetta Tela Fennah Fennah Fettie Yeah Fettie I think Or no Right

I don't remember But Fighting fucking something It's like a bunch of words Yeah Fighting fucking clapping having coffee holding hands.

Yeah. But man, I just, yeah, to like not ever, because I didn't, again, this was like pre, like, you know, porn hub or whatever. Like, I wasn't looking at naked ladies or anyone kissing. Yeah. It was so foreign to me, all this stuff. And, like, all of a sudden these, like, ridiculously attractive women are having, like, the hottest makeouts and sex.

and you're just like, what is happening? It was an awakening. Were you ever, were you on the reboot or no? I was on the reboot. Yeah, that must have been crazy full circle. It was, but I think, you know, they thought they were going to do more with me than they end up being able to do because they had so many characters. Because you had the whole like original cast that everybody wanted to like see what was up

and then all these new characters. And so every, like all my stuff was cut. I was basically, and I was supposed to have this whole arc as like Alice's cousin that's come out to LA and I'm helping her. And it all like went away. And I was like, it's, that's fine. Yeah. So basically I just got to like hang out with my friends, you know, Alicia and Kate and just like have a couple fun days on set. Like sort of being a fan of the franchise.

That's so cool. That would be like if I got on Buffy or something. Yeah. Like you're just like, you're just like, you're just like, you. feel like you're there more as like just, oh, I'm a fan of this, this situation. This is cool to like sit here and see how the sausage is made. It's cool to think maybe we'll be someone's gay awakening. Wow, that would be pretty cool. I bet it happens. I think you might be more of their gay awakening than no, I don't think so. I think this old, this old gal. No way, man. No way. I

think I think that's cool. That's such a cool part of it. Me talking about Cooters is going to get somebody real hot and bothered. Seriously. I think also honestly Parvety was one of my early, I mean, I was young when I first saw her on Survivor and I was like, I would defend her

and like if people were like, she's a villain on that show, I would defend her in a way that was so heated. Yeah, but actually what's interesting is she gets a lot of gay men telling her that she was their gay awakening because they were like, I don't know, they were like,

her kind of powerful femininity, they were like, I don't know, a lot of gay guys are like... Interesting. Yeah, you made me... What's y'all's age? Are you... Who's older? She's only five years older than me. Oh, okay.

I think. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it, got it. Less, four years, four years older than me. Okay. Yeah, so, but she was young on that. She was 23 when she first went on that show.

Oh, yeah. Do they still, do they have Survivor online, like where I could go? I'm very curious about just her season. I don't want to watch all this. Don't get me started. You got to start. I can go somewhere and watch her season. Well, it's a really strange and rare thing to be able to watch someone at different points in their life as they grow and involved.

Because she's been out at two seasons, right? Four times. Four. Five, including Australia, I think. But you got to. I don't want to watch the Australia one. Start with season 16. Okay, 16. Okay.

Masterful. I'm going to check it out. That's a great season. Because fans versus favorite. Did she win, right? I don't want to spoil it. Oh, okay, okay, don't spoil it. I'm going to go along this journey and see what happens.

Thomas, do we have the lyrics to the theme song from the L word? It's going to bug me. I want to know what the list of things that those ladies are doing was. What are they doing when? Are you going to sing it for us? Yeah, we can sing it. Oh, here we go. Okay, let's sing it together.

Oh, my God. This is the past. Okay. One, two, three. Talking, laughing, love and loving. It goes fast, though. Yeah, you do it. Talking, laughing, laughing, fighting, fucking crying,

drinking, riding, winning, losing, cheating, kissing, thinking, dream. And I don't know how else. That's great. That was it. It goes. That was great. Is it fluctuate from that cater?

that we live or something like that. I don't know. Talking, laughing, loving, breathing. I'm glad they're breathing. Fighting, fucking. Fucking, crying, drinking, okay? Riding. Whoa.

Winning, losing, cheating, kissing, thinking and dreaming. I'm glad to be thinking. It sounds very lesbian. Yeah, it does, yeah. Yeah. Well, did our friend give a answer? Yeah, let's hear her gay awakening.

For myself, it was definitely Michelle Rodriguez from the Fast and Furious movies. Definitely one of those that caused that flutter and went, maybe there's something more here that I need to explore. All right. I can't wait to hear your answers. Great one. There you go. I also find a lot of the people that I, the celebrities I was drawn to,

I later found out were by, or like I think I had an antenna, you know. Interesting, yeah. Well, we did it. Another fun set of questions. Keep submitting your questions, please. And advice and feedback, whatever you want to say to us. We want to hear it. Go to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod.

And very exciting news. The Hawk, which I'm in. And so as May, just started streaming on Netflix, July 16th. So yesterday. Yeah. So go watch it because it's a real, real fun and funny show and let us know what you think. Yeah, I think people are going to love it.

It's a good one. And I guess until next time, keep it. Keep it. Pretty handsome. Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com, and please follow us on social media at Handsompod.

What a podcast. That was a hit gum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if there's any new menu items at my favorite restaurant? That's a culinary catastrophe. If I had known that they are now offering a vegan Caesar salad, I would have jumped at the opportunity. I guess I'll have to come back tomorrow. Yeah. Checking first is handsome. So check. Checking first is handsome. So check. Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.