Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #106

Episode Date: August 28, 2026

Mae and Fortune eavesdrop on therapy sessions and talk about feelings for friends on a healingly hilarious Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the recipe before I try to replicate a certain famous coconut cake at home. Yuck! I think I use salt instead of sugar or sand instead of salt. Whatever happened, this dessert is inedible. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for an auto quote.

It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hansom Pot. Chatting the friends on the Handsome Pot. Chatting the Friends on the Handsome Pod. Pretty Little Episode.

Welcome to the Handsome Pods. Pretty Little Episode. I'm Fortune. I'm My and Martin, everybody. Hey, guys. Thank you for tuning it again. It's just old me. May Martin.

I wonder if I ever sounded like that as a kid. I doubt it. Yeah. I think it was more like, I wish I had more videos of me as a kid. I feel like I'd probably said some funny stuff. Oh, you would have been hilarious. I'm sure.

I had my moments, but that was kind of like my early childhood days were sort of pre everyone having a video camera. I know. These kids, the kids to die, they're going to have hundreds of hours. It is nice, though. Yeah, I only have one video for my second birthday and one from my grade four production of Charlie Brown. But other than that, nothing. Yeah, do you have a lot of pictures, though? I don't feel like I even have enough pictures either. I feel like a lot of them were printed out, and many of them got lost in the shuffle of moving homes several times.

Yeah. I have enough that, you know, we get the gist of your childhood. I was really adorable when I was super young and then went through a super awkward looking phase in junior high and then sort of evened out in high school. That's sort of the tale of oldest time. I was just, when I was in Italy on my vacation, I was traveling with three kids, two eight-year-olds and one 10-year-old. And I casually was like, oh, guys, we should make like a zombie movie while we're here. And then I forgot about it. And like six hours later they came to me and were like had planned everything out. They were like, it's going to be called the uninvited three.

And anyway, so I really went for it. Like we did a shot list. We did like cameras up, sound speed. I was like we really. Yeah, and I now have this horror movie. So they have a record of them. It was so, they were so creative. It was great.

And also none of them have ever watched a horror movie or know what a zombie is. Right. So there's a musical number. Oh, wow, a musical number. Yeah. I like it when kids get very creative like that. My friend's daughter and her friend wrote a play that they asked us to sit down for. The plot needed some work. Yeah.

But the heart and compassion and dedication was there, and that's what matters. That's like my dream thing to happen is a kid. Getting people together and really earnestly presenting something they've created. And you have to keep a straight face. And it's the best. I love that. So you went to Italy. I went to Italy.

And that was fun? It was amazing. But I definitely, I was like, guys, I got the accommodation. I'm going to find this luxury villa. I was really trying to impress and show that. And so I guess I just Googled luxury. Villa. And it's never luxury when it refers to itself as luxury.

And also because it was a website that was like luxuryfilla.com or something. Oh, no. So on Airbnb, at least you can see all the reviews. You can see the star rating. And I was going in blind thinking, oh, for this much money, it's got to be amazing. Yeah. And it was, yeah, I got fleeced for sure. Not good.

Was it least clean? No, I would say, no. There were no blankets on the beds when we arrived. We've been traveling for like 24 hours. Yeah. It was, they hadn't aired it out. It was all like dark. And one of the kids, the first thing she said was like, it doesn't look like the pictures.

Oh, no. But we made it work. I mean, it was a great place. It just wasn't, I did get ripped off of it. Right. You spent way too much money for what it was. Yeah. Yeah.

No one's rented that luxury villa in a while. No. I mean, like, the water went out for four days. Four days. And then we'd get it. There was like a reserve water switch and it would come back on for an hour. And then it was. Oh, my gosh.

I'm getting some money back for sure. Yeah. It'd be one thing if it was like a day, but four days is wild. On and off for four days. And the pool turned green from algae for three or four days. So. Oh, dude. I know.

And they said, well, that's definitely from people. wearing sunscreen on their skin in the pool. Okay. They should have warned us, right? I mean, I feel like dark. It turned green. Yeah. Did they get it fixed?

Yeah. But then it had to be sterilized for 48 hours. We couldn't go in it. And no one could use it for two days. And there's three little kids that just want to jump in that pool. This is so, yeah, that sounds like something that would happen to me. Yeah, yeah. I felt it was so embarrassing because I was.

was really like, hey, I'm getting the accommodation, you know, because I really want to splash out. I never go on a vacation and switch off like that. I get very nervous when I'm put in charge of the, I don't mind paying at all, but I hate being the sole responsible person for the accommodation because something always goes wrong somewhere. Always. And then if you're the one that picked the place, everyone's looking at you, like, you did this. I'm on a WhatsApp. thread with the Italian house manager just like trying to get it sort of yeah no I want I want if there's a group situation or you're traveling with someone else I want them weighing in so that we've both

decided this is the place yeah and then I'll pay I think I do not like being the one that's like I'm going to pick the place I know I really pulled the trigger too fast and I should have at least consulted a few people but ultimately it was good but listen less. and learn. You're making the most of it. I don't think it was that great from what you're telling me. I just think you're being very positive. It was a good part of the lore of the trip, though. Like, we could laugh about it. Well, definitely makes for some stories, right? Especially on this pod. I was traveling with two survivor winners. I was like, you guys have slept on the beach for months. Yeah, you guys are like, you're like, this is great, right? Yeah, this is luxury, right? It's not the beach.

At least you're not starving. Yeah, sleeping in a cave with baths shitting on you. Yeah. Well, next time you'll get the place that matches its picture. Yeah, just do something where you can read the reviews. Yeah, of course. I always read the reviews because there'll be a couple people in there that tell you what's up. Yes.

You can't go with one person because then you're like, you might just be hard to please. Yeah. But if two or three people say, you're like, okay. Yes. I even didn't Google like what part of the island of Sardinia to go to. So we were in sort of the wrong part. I thought it was a small island. It's massive.

Oh, really? There's two airports. So we were really, we were in a... You definitely did no research. No research. But we did, we found amazing. I got this. I know.

I know. And then like day one, I'll stop talking in a minute. But day one, we were looking for a restaurant. And on the map, I could see there's like 12 restaurants on the beach. And so we walked down. And we're going in every restaurant. And it's like an Indian restaurant and then a Chinese restaurant. And they're all buffets.

I'm like, this is weird. Where's like, where's like the Italian like beach grill? Yeah. Finally, we find an Italian place that seats us. And it's also a buffet, which is weird. And we sit down and load up our plates. And then a guy comes over and it's like, you can't be here. this is a resort.

And it turns out it's all like a monster resort and the whole beach. And then our villa is just outside the resort. Oh my gosh. What did you do? Well, we said, okay, what would you have us do? We were like, we've got food on our plates. Like, we're happy to pay for the meal. The kids were eating like a few chicken nuggets and some plain noodles.

And he charged us 100 euros per person. What? I know. Dude. It was crazy. That's nuts. And we went to walk back to the beach and the door was locked. Like there was a gate and we were like, hey, we got to get out.

And they were like, no, sorry. We're like, are you locking us in the resort? It was crazy. Oh, my God. Eventually they let us out. Comedy of errors here. I know. The first two days I was just a wreck of anxiety.

Yeah. We really found out. Okay, good. Great adventures, yeah. Good, good. Well, that makes me happy. Yeah, and Parvity's good because she just laughs. Part of just cackled at everything the whole time. Oh, that's good. You want to be with somebody that can, you know, make the most of any situation.

Totally. Yeah, let's hear some questions. All right. Let's do it. Hey, handsome pod. My name is Ivy and I'm a Seattle-based therapist. My question for you is, If you could be a fly on the wall for anyone's therapy session, could be a friend, a famous person, or a pet. Who would it be and why? Obviously, there's some ethics for this question. You kind of have to ignore them, but I want to hear your answers. That client therapist privilege.

Oh, that is really a great question. That's really good. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance, not checking the map before I go on a hike in a new area I haven't explored. But I thought it was a one mile out and back has turned into a five-mile loop. I'm still a happy camper, but I'm also a very tired camper. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote.

It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. I mean, is it weird that I'd be kind of interested in TIGs? Tigs would be good. TIG would be really, like, I'm imagining her being pretty dry with the therapist. Right.

Trying to crack a few jokes in the beginning. Yeah. And then just laying it all out. Yeah. I mean, they said dogs. I mean, if we're entering into this world in which a dog can talk, and go to a therapist, and I'm obviously going to want to hear Biggie's therapy session.

I want to hear what his voice sounds like. Do you have an idea? I never was able to pin down his voice. Yeah. Because, you know, some animals you can tell right away. Yes. He's a little bit more of an enigma. So that's why I'd be so curious.

And then I would like to know, is he just in there being like, I have the best life? My feet barely touched the ground. I have all the food I could ever want. I'm well groomed. Or would he be like, I'm being smothered to death from the love of these two people. Get me out of here.

Let me explore some dog's butts and go to a dog park every now and then. He's never known anything different. I feel like almost like kids who just are given everything, he might find things to nitpick on. and you're like, maybe. No, I think he'd be deeply satisfied. But also he was found on the street. Oh, shit, yeah.

And he was around three. I imagine he was not on the street very long because he's so cute. He was found with another dog. And I would like to know, I would like for him to unload what happened during that time. Yeah, who was the other dog? Yeah. Where did he come from? from he wasn't chipped, he wasn't neutered.

Whoa. What was his situation? That is interesting. So yeah, I need Biggie to lay it all out for this therapist. Oh, that's a really good answer. Yeah. I'm going to, I guess I'll stick with Tig because I can't think of anyone, but other than that. Right. Yeah, maybe my brother. That would be cool.

Any, anyone, yeah, yeah. Let's hear Ivy's answer. To answer my own question, I would love. to listen in on Biggie's therapy session. I'm imagining he would have some complaints about not being fed human food. And I'm also wondering what his self-concept is. Like, does he know that he's a dog? Does he think he's the provider of the house?

Does he think he's a person? And I also want to know what it's like having a fortune as a mommy. Thanks for answering. And I'm so glad each of you exist. Thank you for the pod. You've gotten me through some tough times. Keep it handsome. That's sweet.

Thanks. I haven't seen him in a very long time. I hope he's good. I hope he's good. I think he'd bring that up in therapy for sure. I think he might as well. I think he'd have a few complaints. But I love the question of does he know he's a dog.

I'm not sure about that. I don't think that he knows. I really don't. No. He definitely thinks he's bigger than he is. Really? Oh, he has no fear. He'll go right up to a big dog.

and just like, rah, really? Oh, yeah, it's so terrifying. I, like, we'd run over and grab them.

I once had a couple's therapy session years ago, and the therapist had a big Irish wolfhound dog in the, she hadn't told us in advance, and it was like one of those giant dogs, like the size of a horse that was just in the room with us. It was like a fourth person. It was so big. It was really unsettling,

Oh, really? Yeah. Well, you get probably distracting. Yeah. I did bring Biggie to a couple therapy appointments with me. Did you? Yeah. Back in, you know, last year, I was like, do you care of my dogs with me? And she was like, no, please. It's supporting them. Yeah.

That's right. Let's hear another one. Hey, guys. My name's Izzy. I am calling for some relationship advice. I just recently went through a breakup with a, long-term partner. We were married and she broke up with me in kind of a fucked up way, but it's kind of all good now. That just so recently happened. And I have made the mistake of drunkenly confessing feelings or something to my best friend who's been with me 24-7 and has been there for me super, super deeply and emotionally. And I need a device.

on how to keep our relationship from feeling awkward off of that because we have such an awesome relationship and neither of us are in any position to be in any kind of relationship at all in that kind of way and being best friends is so important but oh i said some crazy crazy stuff and how do i like keep it not awkward or talk about it in a normal way Oh, man. Thank you guys. I know you'll come and clutch. Oh, man. Wow, that's like soap opera. I want to know what the crazy, crazy stuff was.

Well, I think you have to, if you're not in a place to be in that situation right now, or either of you, maybe you just have to be like, sorry, you know, I'm just in a sensitive place. It's a state right now where I'm just kind of feeling everything. So I don't, I mean, if it's, you know, your good friend and they'll understand. And if that's meant to transpire in a better time, I think it will. Yeah, I think so too. But I think for now you have to totally take it off the table so that they, you guys can get, like, I think you got to lay it on. Not have that like elephant in the room.

You've got to say exactly what you said to us, just go, that was crazy. just be like I was probably projecting. I just got out of this thing and I would hate to lose our friendship and then maybe hang out in a group a couple of times. Right. You know, get back in the swing of the friendship,

but that is, oh, that is tough. But it's better than texting your ex when you're drunk. True, which is where I think, I thought it was going at first. So, because it sounds like you're already kind of moving on past that, which is, I guess, good,

Right. There's nothing like a crush to help you move on. Right. Yeah. So yeah, maybe it was like a nice distraction for a minute. And then now you can just be like, oh, wasn't that? That was crazy. That was crazy.

Yeah. Yeah, it wouldn't be crazy if that actually happened. And then if, you know, like I said, if that's something that's meant to evolve in time, you know, there will be a time in place for that. Yeah. and all the more motivation to get yourself back on your feet and in a place where you could date someone. But yeah, I think for now you've got to just be super brave and blunt and just bring and like address it.

Just be like, I am so sorry about that. Right. Yeah. Yeah, so there's not like this weird push-pull kind of thing. Yeah. Also maybe confide in multiple people, not just one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but also other outlets.

Don't be yourself up. Very human, very normal. That's right. Yeah. Keep it handsome. And maybe keep it handsome. And maybe you were picking up on some vibes. I don't know.

Yeah, that's true. We don't know. Yeah. Do we have time for one more? Yeah, I think so. Let's do it. Hi, guys. My name is Danielle.

I'm from Nashville, Tennessee. I know you guys love Nashville and we love you. We do. I listen to you guys all the time and just want you to know that we are really good friends. We laugh, we cry, we have so much fun together. So thank you guys for what you do.

So my question is about comedy. I work for a non-profit animal rescue and we do a lot of sad stories. There's some good ones in there too, but I really want us to incorporate

some comedy into our social media posts. So if you guys had a rescue, what would you do to spice things up? We're foster-based, we're small, and we're really working towards building followers and getting our adoption center. So if you'd like to shout out the rescue, it is called Rare Rescue. If not, you can bleep this out. Let me know any creative ideas you might have for us to boost our followers and make people laugh and engage.

What if we were like, we are not mentioning the name of this place that's rescuing animals? Yeah, we bleeped it out. What a cool thing to do. Yeah. The first thing that popped into my head was, let's say you've got a dog, and you film it sort of going about its business, but you record a voiceover of its inner monologue maybe. Oh, like that. Maybe having it talk about.

Yeah, doing some funny voiceover. with various animals. Yeah, almost as if the animals are talking about their dream adopters, maybe. Or also go on TikTok. There's a lot of people that post their pets and they're really funny. I get down these rabbit holes all the time with funny animal stuff. I think, listen, I'm not going to lie, seeing an animal pet in a costume, always a treat. That's your little hat.

A little hat. And then you could play like Shania Twain in the background like bam, bam, man, na, na, na, nah, now. Let's go, girls. That's true. It's like a little chihuahua and a cowboy hat. I mean, already. That's a winner already. Right?

I saw a thing that was you can buy for your cat and it goes sort of over their shoulders and it makes it look like they've got big human arms. So they walk around. It looks like they got like, and it's really good. Yeah. You could put some cats. There's a little tiger faces you can put around them. There's also TikTok challenges where you're like,

there's like audio that's on the TikTok, but it involves an animal. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Where they're like, maybe the animal is just like doing something funny or making a funny face and there's that audio playing over it. Right. Right.

TikTok and Instagram are the places that people go to to look at animals. and I do think social media does help people spread the word about adoption with animals. But I will say too, sometimes a tearjerker, that gets people too. Like I love seeing. Well, Sarah McLaughlin action. Oh, that was so bleak all through a school. But, you know, when you see them with all their matted fur and you see the before and after, I think as long as you see the after.

A feel good story. A feel-good story, yeah. That's always good. Yeah. You could have a feel-good Friday. Yeah. Post someone, a dog getting adopted and them, like, running to their new owner. Feel Good Friday.

I love it already. That's good. And you post the new adoptions every week. Yeah. And people go, oh, my God, I want that. But I don't know. I feel like, Danielle, I feel like we're giving you some gold here. gold. I mean, you could even, you know, Homeward Bound? Remember that movie? Oh, yeah. They didn't even

move their mouths, right? They just had voices. Their mouths didn't remember, yeah. Move that it was real animals, but they just had like, like, you could do a whole story. You could do like an Elizabethan lesbian romance between two chihuahuas or something. Yeah. Listen, I think we're, I think we're off to a good start here. start with these and then let those inspire other content because certain animals might start to become popular and then it'll lead to a feel good Friday because they've been adopted. Yeah. Or they get signed with an agent. Yeah, they might become huge stars.

I think, yeah, just utilizing the socials of it all to help get these animals at home. but thank you for what you're doing. Yeah, rare rescue in Nashville. Yeah. Next time we're in Nashville, we should go pet some animals. That's right. We already had cats show up at our kittens at our show in L.A for the ASPCA. That was so good.

That was cute. Well, another very pretty little episode. That's right. Loved it. Loved it. As always. Keep sending in your questions or if you need any advice in your life. It's speakpipe.com slash handsome.

pod? We love to hear from you. Yeah. You got stuff coming up. Fortune, you're on tour. Yeah, tonight I'm in Greenville, South Carolina, and then tomorrow night in Wilmington, North Carolina. Boise's coming up, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Chattanooga, Dayton and Louisville. So a bunch of shows. I like how you say Louisville. Louisville.

Yeah. That's right. Durham, Madison, Wisconsin. I'm all over it. And check out Maymartin.net, I think, for, for, or just social media for any shows I'm doing. I'm sure there'll be some. That's right. It sounds bleak. I'm working on new stuff. Love it.

Yeah. And until next time, keep it. Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feemster. the show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett, email us at handsomepod at gmail.com, and please follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast! What a podcast!

That was a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking my stand-up set before the show for references to our podcast, that's an oversight. I can't tell the story about a phantom without my audience members yelling out, yeah, ghost. And it's a little distracting, but you can't take the handsome out of our loyal listeners. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote.

It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.