Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #108

Episode Date: September 11, 2026

Mae and Tig take an interest in feigning an interest on a *fascinating* Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliability. It's Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome pot. Chatting my friends on the handsome pot. Chatting the friends on the handsome pod. Pretty little episode.

Hey, it's your friend Tignotaro. I'm sitting here with my co-host. May Martin. And we are coming at you with a pretty little episode. Also, I found this t-shirt tonight, and it was my very, first promo or like tour t-shirt good one it's a robot me that's a good that's a good that's good that's fine but yeah i went on a a podcast years ago and after everybody would say things i'd go

good one good one and then i became known as the good one robot and uh that's good you look like Joan of Arc. Thank you. You're welcome. How are you? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. I am in Los Angeles and it's just, it's good to be back. You know how I love to have a normal life, doing normal things. This is the main crux of, I think, our particular dynamic and chemistry is me echoing you saying that you want just to have a routine and to have a calm life of the little joys and me being like, yes, and crying. Now, are you, are you, what is, what is your life looking like? Are you enjoying a normal life?

Are you, um, enjoying little things and, yeah, I am. But yeah, because yeah, you're right. Like what is, when, when will I be like, well, I've achieved that? Like, is it if I have nothing on my calendar for an entire year, then I'll finally feel like, uh, because I am, I'm living, I'm, I'm having. I'm happy, but I'm flying around and yeah. It's been a busy summer, but a very nice summer. And then I went to Lake Arrowhead on the weekend, actually,

and I had that same. I didn't bring a synthesizer. I didn't bring any. Did you go alone? No, I went with Parv. We went for the weekend, and it was really good. And we sat on the dock, and the sun was going down, and the bats were swooping.

Love it. I think that's what it was just, I think I got to be there more. in the woods. Yeah, yeah. It's real good to be in the woods. I sleep well there. Like there's, it must be that there's less. I'm just going to freestyle here.

Less electrical currents and radiation in the air. But that's just a guess. Okay. I don't know what that means, but. Well, there probably is compared to Los Angeles. Yeah, like I feel that to be true. Do you feel that when you're in Colorado? Like, yeah.

Like your bod just feels on a different frequency? Yeah. I mean, I'm living a completely different life. Yeah. Like a completely different life. And I'm, we're so active. And it's wild because I always say to Stephanie, isn't it crazy that we're going to exit the 101 on to Melrose? Like in a few days.

Yeah. And we just are like, oh, my Lord. But that's so good that you have that. Yeah, it's just, it's a nice, it's a nice thing that I've allowed myself to do to take summers off and, and just really, really do it. And we really do it. We really, really do it. And we are sports and nature and cooking. Yeah, it's wild.

Like Max and Finn, they, I'll have to send you a video. It's so cute. They get in the kitchen together. and they cook us dinner. And each of them, you know, it's not a five-star restaurant by any stretch. But they get so creative and excited, and they explain to you what the spices they're putting on and what they're making and how these different tastes are going to come together.

And they're just making it up as they're going along and they're mimicking adults in the kitchen and stuff. And they just grab whatever is available. in the cabinet and the wherever and they just start cooking up a storm and we're like this is delicious like the other night they made us our dessert was um bananas sliced up with cinnamon on top simple and delicious yeah yeah they just making up stuff and and just serving it up it's just so it's just so fun but they knew that would be a good taste combo. That's... They did. And it worked. And it worked. Yeah. So... Yeah. And then you must, it must feel weird. Then you go into

these high intensity periods where you're on or you're touring or you're filming and it's like... Because I kind of... Because when I'm with Parra Venoma, it's like, yeah, I go full dad mode and time moves more slowly and we're like, do it, you know. And then, yeah, and then I feel very schizophrenic. Like, I have this other life in Silver Lake where I'm like trying to get my work done so that I can enjoy. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. I want to blend the two a little bit more. It's, I'm just, I think I'm at that point in life. I'm like, is it possible? Is it where like, I, I, I, I, is what possible? Blending. Blending or finding complete joy and peace because I think joy and peace also comes from working and making yourself useful. Like I was sitting in the park and watching a squirrel, just squirreling it up, okay, digging holes, bringing acorns up

the tree, down the tree, running over here, running over there. And I was like, that guy has some serious purpose, you know? And his joy is in his purpose, and his purpose is his work and his life that he's living. He's not looking for a day off. You know what I mean? He's not looking. He's not looking to sit down and have a machine go do all the acorn business. Right. Yeah, no, I think you'd really miss it if you weren't also doing the work part. Squirreling around. You got to squirrel around. You got to squirrel around. But what's crazy is, I wonder if you asked that squirrel and you were like, are you stressed? I wonder if you'd be like, yeah. It's probably just be like, can I talk to you in a minute? I got things to do. I got, I'm squirreling around. But it was,

it was such a funny little moment because of course I've seen a million squirrels and I love a squirrel and I loved seeing it do its thing. But I was really thinking about how people remove themselves from the work they actually need to do, which I think is, you know, gathering your own food and making it and do you know what I mean? Being actually in your life and the world rather than remove from it. anyway this is and having machines and other people do things and making your life easier isn't necessarily what's and taking a bunch of time off isn't necessarily what's going to bring you joy but maybe i don't know but i do think we need to squirrel around we got to squirrel around yeah but i do i i do love what my job i love what i do i feel a sense of purpose with that but yeah with squirrels

at least they're born and there's only one real thing for them to do. It's not like, like we have so many potential purposes. Their one thing is to squirrel around. It's squirrel around. And they're not like, should I start a podcast? No, they're like, I got to get these nuts. And they don't even, no one teaches them how, as far as we know, there's no squirreling school. I feel like I'm the closest to squirreling around when I'm in Colorado for the summer.

Right. You know, like, there's not food delivery. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's not Ubers. There's not any of that kind of thing going on. Yeah. Yeah. I like that a lot. But of course, I'm not like fully living off the land, but there's just a mix of squirling around and other things. What am I talking about? Anyway. But when you're doing that, do you ever feel like are, do you start writing? Like, is there always

that writer's brain in the back of your head that's like, really? So, you're. Well, actually, here's the thing. Yeah. What's interesting, I am, when I am off work, I am off work. Right. I am not like, oh my gosh, I got to pitch this. I got to write that. I got to do this.

I got to get back. I can't wait. I am like later tater. Yeah. And however, I just told Stephanie the other day, I am not a script writing person. I'll have ideas for TV shows or movies or I'll have ideas. is for characters and stuff. Stephanie is the one that, like,

she pounds things out on her laptop. She is a fast, incredible writer. But I have had this weird interest in writing. When I say the worst script, just like, I just want to see, like, I'm just going to do my best. I'm just going to give it a whirl, maybe,

and just see what terrible thing I click out, You know. Please, can it be about squirrels? It's called squirrelling around. Yeah. Yeah, squirrelling around. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking my email before bed when I'm trying to get tickets for a highly in-demand

haunted hayride? Rats. It's sold out in an hour. And now the best I can do is get on the haunted wait list. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.

Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and available. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. You have to, you should definitely. I mean, with one Mississippi, you were, you were in the writer's room and yeah. Absolutely. And that, that's the extent of it. Right. You know, but like Stephanie and I wrote a script, but she knows structure.

She knows all of that. But like, I don't know. Okay. There's a script in you then. If you start having the inkling. It has started popping up for me. And I'm kind of interested in my, and it might just be for me. But like me becoming a comedian, just my life in Colorado, moving to L.A., there's some just interesting moments that actually got me to where I am, which is like anybody's life. And sometimes I just think, oh, maybe I want to write that down.

Yeah. Would you ever write it as prose? Well, you've written a book. I wrote like in the pandemic the most self-indulgent, like just for myself, like memoir basically just of my everything that happened in my teens. Just so trying to. Stephanie told me. Did she read it? She read it, right? God, did she? That's embarrassing. I think you gave it to her. I think I went through a phase of really wanting to maybe adapt it or something. Yeah. She said it was great. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I found it. really satisfying to it's something about like just making sense like putting the chronological this is what happened and and then yeah that's that's interesting because i actually just talked to my therapist about that how every time i talk to her i'm always talking about what is kind of current in life this is going on with work or this is frustrating yesterday or this day or you know what i mean

And then I, and then I'll, she, she moved to Michigan. So we're mainly on Zoom. Sometimes she comes back to L.A. But I'm always thinking like, God, there's so much she doesn't know about my life. Because I'm so stuck in my, I need it typically to sort out my day to day, my work, stresses, things like that. And yeah, so that's what I usually talk to her about. but we're going to do longer sessions this coming week. Dig in.

Yeah. So we're going to go through like, who am I? Where did I come from on a much deeper level than we've ever gotten into? I'm kind of the reverse where I'm, I find it really daunting with therapy. Like I end up talking about these same things from the past and then I end up canceling therapy. Because I'm like, so I need to, on Tuesday, I'm seeing this therapist. And I'm going to, I think I'm going to, I'm going to.

I think I'm going to ease in by saying I want to start with just my day to day to day. Like what's going on now? And then like. So you don't talk about your day to day now? No. Anytime I've been to therapy, it's been like specifically to work through trauma, like from the past. And then it's too much. It's too.

I feel like shit after. I never get to the point where I feel like. So I think I'm going to ease in with day to day. See, I worked on a lot. lot of trauma years ago. I got into therapy. I mean, you probably did too, but I got into therapy when I was like 17 or something. Did you get in early? No. I mean, in rehab, we did some of that. But then it, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. So. Okay. So you've dealt with stuff. I've dealt, definitely dealt with trauma and stuff. There's plenty more to get to. Yeah. Yeah. But I just realized that

that now as an adult, married, children, career, all that kind of stuff, I'm just more in the day-to-day of like, oh, this happened. I'm so frustrated. I don't know how to handle this. What's the best way? What's most productive? Am I lying to myself? You know, all of that kind of stuff. Yeah. That'll be juicy for her to get to know, like, the underlying or the soup underneath. I've known her for so long, and now I'm going to be like, oh, by the way, this is swimming around in there. Yeah. But I think it'll give her a better picture of dealing with me on my day-to-day, obviously. Yeah.

Anyway. Great. Let's get to a question. Let's do it. What if it's my therapist? Yeah, saying, who are you? Hi, all. My name is Danny, and I'm from Sherman Oaks, California.

My question is, what's something you pretended to be interested in because the person you were dating loved it, even though you weren't actually interested? That's such a funny thing. That's a really good question. Do you do that? Do you act interested in? I mean, in my teens, dating older people, I definitely was like, yeah, tell me about the story. myths, you know, but I thought I was really into it as well, but I really wasn't. But then now, I don't know, did someone come to mind for you?

No, I don't, I don't feel like I ever pretended to be into something. I don't really connect with that, but I definitely, I mean, not that this is unusual, but just have tried to, I mean, Stephanie, you know, she's very into sports. She watches football and baseball and basketball and like... You've given it a go, but... I mean, I do. I give it a go. It's not a passion of mine, but I love going to like, when we go to live games.

Yeah. You know, I like to get snacks and hang out and. and just be a part of the crowd. So soak up the vibes. And there's something comforting to have sports on in the background when you hear the announcer and the play-by-play.

Yeah. It's a little different than that, but... I don't know. Yeah, I don't know that I have pretended. I dated someone who, I had to pretend to like their plays and their music and stuff sometimes. And that because I really cared about them, but it just wasn't to my taste.

Yeah, I guess, I guess there have been people I have dated where, like their music they wrote and their plays they were. That's what I mean. It's like their art was maybe not the most stellar thing for my taste. Yeah. But I certainly was excited for them and was behind their dream and all for it. I think if I was dating someone who didn't like my comedy or my stuff I was making, I don't think I'd want them to tell me that. I think I'd want them to fake it.

Uh-huh. I don't. That would be a real. It would be a wild thing. It would. Isn't there, I think there's a movie with Julia Louis Dreyfus. I haven't seen it. but where she overhears her husband saying he doesn't like her book.

Oh, is it good? I've never said that in my life. That's crazy. And it's a niche one that I haven't seen. Yeah. Did Nicole Hollif Center direct that? Yes, I think so. That rings a bell.

And it's like she finds out that she overhears her husband on the phone saying I hate, I hate her book. It's not good. And yeah, how would that affect your relationship? It's Nicole Hollis Center. You hurt my feelings. Yes. You hurt my feelings. Nicole is a friend of mine.

Oh, she's great. Yes. Yes. That's, I was like, that is so interesting that I saw this film. But yes, I just remembered, yeah, that's Nicole's movie. I really enjoyed it. Were you so relieved when you saw Stephanie do improv of an acting? You were like, thank God, she's funny.

Everything. Yeah. I'm just like, she, everything. Yeah. Her acting. writing, her performance, her, I asked for her advice, everything, I just am like, I'm blown away. Yeah, you've got to be a fan of the person you're dating and the things that, yeah. Yeah.

Should we hear Danny's answer? Yeah, let's do it. My partner is an avid Rick and Morty fan and he first shared the show with me when we met seven years ago. I made a genuine effort to enjoy the show and even did a good job of pretending I liked it. But after six years, I finally had to come clean and tell him that I just couldn't bear to watch another episode. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to answer my silly question. Live long and prosper, my handsome friends. That's funny. Thanks, Daly. Yeah, I'm seeing the image really clearly of her sitting next to him on the couch and the he's laughing. away and she's going to go.

And she's not. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Actually, when I was in Lake Arrowhead, the Airbnb had a Pac-Man machine in the basement. And so I lit up when I saw it.

Because you like Pac-Man? Yeah, any game, any bright lights, any little, yeah, like, get me in there. Like because it's retro or because you like video games? I don't, it's like if I saw a foosball table or a dartboard or like it's just like a game that you can get your hands on. Yeah, something to do.

Yeah. That activity that I can get competitive and get. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. And so yeah, Parv and I played. And I was worried that she was indulging me. But then she got so swapped up.

And it was really fun. It was bonding. Because we were screaming at the table. These little fucking bastards. The ghosts. It was really, it was fun. Yeah, I don't, I feel like I haven't ever had any fiber in my being to pretend. Yeah.

Yeah, it doesn't feel familiar. But aside from like supporting and encouraging somebody that I'm maybe not sharing that I am. You don't love what they're what they're doing. Yeah. That's maybe only happened once. Yeah. I think I've talked about this on the podcast, but when I, and I've talked about it with her, so she knows. But when I, I was dating someone in England and she's the best. And I went to see her show where she played Monica Lewinsky.

It was a cast of four women. And so they were all, there was a woman playing Bill Clinton as well. And they were all playing each other. And, oh, man. And I brought a casting director to see. see her and there were maybe eight people in the audience. It was like half, I mean, empty. And they were all British actors doing American accents as well. And then, well or not well? Not so well. She was great as Monica Lewinsky and looks like her. And then the woman said, her line was, you would say that Betty. There's a character called Betty. And she goes, you would say that baby. I mean, Betty. And she said, and I just lost my mind. And you could hear me silent laughing in the audience and the casting director, I was crying and

the fact that she overcorrected so much. I mean, I mean, Betty. God, it was good. And they had a, there was a lone saxophone player underscoring the entire play. Roop, brawrap, like that. It was wild. Wow. And I'm sorry to go back. You didn't quite believe in this. No, that was an experience of being like really wanting to support my girlfriend. and being like, this is an insane production. This feels like it was made by insane people. That's funny. We really got into that one question, didn't we?

We really got in deep there. Yeah, yeah. Lovely to see you as always. I like when you're in L.A. Feel calmer. You feel calmer. Yeah. Please continue to submit your questions, your advice request.

Go to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod. and send them in. I love hearing them. I do too, May. Yeah, we both do. Yeah, so does Fortune. I can speak for Fortune, can't you? Yeah, all the time. I do all the time. Thomas likes it too. There's not anyone on this podcast that doesn't want to hear your question. We love it. Go to tignotaro.com for my latest show dates and I'll see you out there. And do you have anything, May? Absolutely nothing. Just check out the old socials and I'm always doing shows around L.A. and come see me. Great.

Until next time. Keep it. Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tignitaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wulet. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What a podcast. What a podcast.

That was a hitdown. Podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking how to pronounce striped seabass before I make my order. Ooh la la. I just confidently ordered strip sea bass and now I'm afraid my fish is going to be fully nude. Yeah, check in first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.