Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #18

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

Tig and Fortune talk about winning awards, and plays/musicals that won them over, on an all new Pretty Little Episode!*** Handsome has a live-streaming holi-bobs show Dec 21! Tickets at dynastytypewriter.com ***Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is a headgum podcast. Pretty little episode. Hi. Welcome to episode. Hi. Welcome to the Handsome Pods. Pretty little episode. Yeah, I was excited to get in there, so sorry I. No, we're both so excited. T-boned you. Listen, I love a T-bone.

How's it going, bud? It's going well. Yeah? Going well, you know, just trekking through Star Trek. Trekking through it. You're gonna get to come home for the holidays, yeah? Yeah, I'll be home for like two and a half weeks. Which is exciting.

Yeah. You know, Santa and what have you. What are you doing? We're taking a little vacation. We're gonna go to Aspen and then also just spend time chilling. Do you have friends or family in Aspen or are you just going, the two of you?

No, it's a group of friends that are going. So we're gonna, yeah, do that. So we don't usually do big group trips, but why not? Are you gonna ski? They're all skiing, I don't know. I'm not, I don't know how to ski. You've never skied? Not since I was 12 and I was going down the bunny slope

and I slid right up onto another woman's skis and she kept going, make a pizza, make a pizza. And I was like, make a pizza. And I was like, I love pizza. Did you not know what she was talking about? No. She's like, with your skis, make a pizza. And I slid right up on her and I said,

I don't know how to stop. She's like, clearly. Yeah. I just, yeah. When it how to stop. She's like, clearly. Yeah, yeah. I just, yeah. When it comes to like skiing or like water, like water skiing, snow skiing, wakeboarding, and that kind of stuff, I'm not very coordinated. Yeah.

Do you ski? I did, I used to, and then I transitioned to snowboarding. And then. That's the cool one, isn't it? I think so. and then I transitioned to snowboarding. And then- That's the cool one, isn't it? I think so. I mean, I enjoyed skiing, and then as soon as I started snowboarding,

I was like, what was I doing skiing? Also, skiing requires a lot of clothes and equipment, and I don't love that. Well, I mean, you have to wear clothes also when you're snowboarding. I'm clumping these in that. Well, I mean, you have to wear clothes also when you're snowboarding. I'm clumping these in together. Okay, okay. I just mean like, I wanna be at the lodge,

drinking something by the fire. That's me. Right. You know, speaking of having to use a lot of clothes, my friend and I, years ago in Colorado, we decided to go skiing, do night skiing, which is really cheap. But we didn't have any ski clothing or anything. This was my really great idea,

but a box of clothes I was gonna donate. Oh. And so we put layers of my donation clothing on and one of the things was a hospital gown. Oh my gosh. And so I was flying down the mountain in a hospital gown on the outside. But yeah, I ultimately, right on brand for me,

I had a really bad snowboarding accident and hurt my back. Oh no. Yeah, yeah. So I haven't snowboarded since. Yeah. Someone just showed me a video of, I didn't know that around trees, there's like a large space that can drop to like 25 feet.

They call, there's a name for him, I don't know. And he showed me a video of a guy skiing and he kind of saw like a little color kind of in the snow and he stopped and went back up and it's like a dude hanging in the snow, that, that like cavernous area, but he was almost covered in snow and he started digging him out. And I'm like, no, thank you. No, thank you.

I've had that happen, not next to a tree, but one of those electrical boxes in a neighborhood or something where snow accumulated around it. And I walked by there with my son and we both like dropped, like dropped, we dropped in and I was terrified, but it was that like I had to pretend like we weren't in a situation. Yeah.

And we were like, weee! Yeah, it's like, oh, look at that. Now, how are we gonna get out, Max? And then it just turned into this, like, I was really, I was scared. That would be very scary for sure. Yeah. This is why I stay away from snow for the most part.

That's why you sit by the fire and you have your drink. Tig, I'm a pretty little lady. I know you are dear. I know you are. I'm looking right at you. But yeah, I love to sit in the lodge or in the condo or house or whatever and sit by the fire and have a little chocolate,

I was gonna say chocolate milk, but hot chocolate. Yep. Do you prefer hot chocolate or do you prefer a certain cocktail in the cold? Do you have a cold cocktail? I like an old fashioned. That's my main drink. Yep.

When it's cold, I don't mind a little hot situation. And then hot chocolate maybe like once or twice, but it is drinking a cup of chocolate. So I don't need that on the reg. Yeah, I feel like an infant when I'm drinking hot chocolate. I'm like, it feels silly, but you know, it also feels good. I was filming this movie the other night and it started getting cold

and they had a truck that had hot chocolate and I was like, ooh, that sounds good. So I got some and it took like two sips. I'm like, this is a lot. This is a lot of chocolate. Like, why am I doing this? I know. Even our kids can't fit, we'll make them hot chocolate and they'll just have maybe five

sips and then their hot chocolate just sits there. Yeah. Yeah. It's good in theory, but yeah, I'm excited. I'm looking forward to just having a chill holiday. Are you excited about Santa? I'm excited. I'm looking forward to just having a chill holiday. Are you excited about Santa? I'm so excited about Santa.

Well, we've never been actually home on Christmas. So I'm pretty pumped for that. I just ordered a pink four and a half foot fake Christmas tree. Wow, it's fake, it's not real? Yeah, it's a fake pink. Now was this inspired by your suit from the special? I mean, but that is a good point. Maybe that was on my brain.

Yeah, pretty little Christmas tree. Pretty little Christmas tree. I did rock that pink suit and crushing it. You rocked it hard. Thank you, yeah. I'm very happy right now. It was a crazy year as it's been for everybody and so busy and I'm so tired,

but it feels like worth it, you know what I mean? When you're like, oh, I'm just so tired. Dropping at the finish line. Yeah. I was like crawling across it, writing the special, now I'm just like, ah, I can breathe. Yeah, I crawled across the finish line last year

and I've continued to crawl. I'm still crawling. We're crawling, but we're here. Yeah, we're here, we're queer and get used to it. Should we start to get into this? See what's on everyone's minds? Let's do it. My name is Angela.

I'm from Michigan. My friend Leah and I are obsessed with your podcast. My question to you three is, what is your favorite thing you have ever won? It could be an award. It could be a raffle prize, whatever you wish. Oh, that's a good question. That is a good one.

I feel like I don't win things. Like in raffles? Or awards, like I've been nominated, not to be braggadocious, but numerous times, never. I cannot, I can't win. I just can't do it. And so I'm just racking up nominations.

Yeah, but I can't take home the prize. And I remember when Stephanie was nominated for NME and people were like, oh my God, what if she wins? And I was like, that would be incredible if she won. I almost now don't wanna win anything. I wanna see how many things I can't win. I don't even think I win like teddy bears at fairs. Not that I'm always at the fair.

But you know, I feel like you probably win things. I have actually never been nominated for any of the major awards. I've got nominated twice for like a critic's choice, but I haven't even been nominated for the like Emmys or Grammys or anything like that. That's surprising. Now, what about teddy bears? Teddy, well, one thing that did come to mind.

More importantly. What about your fair situation? I have not been to a fare in a while, but for some reason this came right to my noggin. When I first moved to LA, I went to, I got invited as a plus one to like a rap party, and they were raffling, they gave you a raffle ticket when you walked in the door and I was broke.

And the big prize was a PlayStation with them, but the play, and I'm not like a big gamer, but the PlayStation also played DVDs. Okay. And I won. And I'm sure everyone was like, who was this? Because, you know, they're all celebrating, like finishing a show and I won and I'm sure everyone was like, who is this? Cause you know, they're all celebrating, like finishing a show and I was a plus one. And I'm like, I won. But that was like my DVD. I played games on it. Cause I had no friends when I first moved to LA

except for the person that invited me to this party. And that was my DVD player for like eight years. Wow. Yeah. And what was the wrap party of note or is there any? Yeah, it was like one of those CSI shows. Yeah. Okay. So I was like, you got it.

I was like, who is this person? Oh, that's cadaver number three. Well, that's a win. Yeah, I'll take it. Yeah, I mean, Thomas, I haven't won anything, have I, that you know of? You won that award from Mississippi, that was pretty cool. Oh, there you go.

Yeah, what was that award? Like a governor's award or something like that. Okay, yeah. Oh, the was that award? Like a governor's award or something like that? Okay, yeah. It was me. The governor's award. Thank you, governor. But I don't know that I won an award, I was just given an award. You know what I mean?

Like I wasn't competing against anybody. I was just handed. We're just going to give this. If you come, we'll give this to you. Yeah, what was that Irish award I was given? But I didn't win. Oh, like the O. Henry Award or something? No, it was Oscar Wilde Award.

So I've gotten things and I've been recognized for things, but I haven't. I just realized I had frosting on my face. Tis the season, Fortune. I haven't recognized for things, but I haven't. I just realized I had frosting on my face. Tis the season, Fortune. Tis the season. I hope people enjoy that on YouTube. Oh my God.

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here at Handsome, we're all about lifelong learning. For a gift that's always on time and lasts a lifetime, you can't do better than MasterClass. I got a friend who loves gymnastics, so I got her MasterClass, and she's taking a course from Simone Biles on gymnastic fundamentals. Lifelong learning is one of the greatest joys,

and now you can give it as a gift. MasterClass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. Head over to masterclass.com slash handsome for the current offer. That's up to 50% off at masterclass.com slash handsome. Masterclass.com slash handsome. I had a donut and I don't usually have donuts for breakfast, but we went to a holiday party

last night and they gave donuts on the way out. So I ate one and then I'm like, okay, what is that? It's frosting. You didn't wash your face last night? Yeah. Oh, you ate the donut this morning. Okay. It's like, wow, what a night.

Just stumble home, go to bed with donut face. What a treat, literally. Sorry. Donuts are a treat. I think I got it. You know, I'll say in the end here, I feel like I've won in life in so many different ways. You sure have.

It's an honor just to be nominated. Thank you. But truly, I have my health as far as I know. I've got tremendous friends. I have work. I have great family and so there I won. Here here and I have a PlayStation DVD player. My favorite thing I've won is I actually won the alumni award at the college I went to. And actually I'm not that impressive a person in terms of my accolades, but a bunch of my friends wrote really nice letters about me and I felt like it made me very proud more of my friendships more so than even my accomplishments. I think it's pretty awesome. So thanks for making a great podcast and keep it up. Thank you.

That is nice when those things happen. My college is something like that too, when people have to, they reach out to people that know you and you're like, oh, that's really cool. Yeah, yeah. Part of this. Yeah. I'll never know're like, oh, that's really cool. Yeah, yeah. Part of this. Yeah.

I'll never know what that's like, but that's cool. Oh, thanks Angela. Yeah, thank you. What's next? Give it to us. Hello, handsome pod. It's me, River. Hopefully your first 12 year old listener

who's asking a question. But my question for you pretty little ladies today is what is your favorite play slash musical? River, I love River. Play slash musical, God, there are many for me. I mean, there's not too many for me. I've seen, I've seen some. Well, I've seen Annie.

Thomas, did you and I go see Far and Away or was that me and Patrick? We saw Fun House together. Oh, Fun Home? Fun Home, sorry. Oh yeah. I was like, Fun House sounds cool too. Fun Home, that was so great.

Oh my gosh. I also, you know, I loved Book of Mormon. Yeah, that's a good one. And then don't ever try to take Little Orphan Annie away from me. Don't take it away from you. No. The sun will come out tomorrow.

Oh my gosh, were you ever Little Orphan Annie? Cause you could have done that. Surprisingly I was not and my hair is looking kind of red today. I don't know how that. You know what I would like to see is you as Little Orphan Annie now. Could we get that, please?

In that red dress with the socks, these socks. I almost just called you Annie, but seriously, Fortune, Thomas put that on the list. Fortune dresses Little Orphan Annie. That's your bad dollar, that tomorrow. We could all three be different people from different musicals. You could be Little Orphan Annie.

I could be, what's your name from? Fun House. Fun Home. Fun Home. Yeah, you could. Yeah. Just have your keys and a carabiner. Oh, you know what my son Max calls daddy warbucks? What?

Daddy wombok. What? He has it confused with Abby. With Abby? That's funny. So he's like, so when daddy wombok, and I told them that and Glennon was like, I'll start calling her daddy womok. That's a funny name.

Or she is a Daddy Wombok or something like that. Yeah. What's your musical? Oh, I have many, many, many. I love musicals. My favorite classic old school musical that you don't really see much anymore is 42nd Street. All the tap dancing and it's so big and cool and fun and just old school love,

love, love. Yeah. More modern ones. I love, I did like Dear Evan Hansen a lot. I saw that once was really good. Wicked, of course. Didn't see that. Book of Mormon is, Wicked, of course. Didn't see that. Book of Mormon's really funny, it's clever.

I could just go see shows all the time, but Jax hates musicals. My son Max loves musicals, he loves newsies and he listens to the CD all the time. Yeah, my OG was Rent. Oh yeah. Yeah, I used to, when I was in high school, I had that CD just constantly playing.

Yeah. I loved it. Yeah, Max loves Rent as well. Stephanie's really into musicals. Yeah. Really into musicals, and Wicked has just kicked it all. Stephanie sent me the greatest video of herself, just singing, she was like, I think I'm ready.

Oh, I love it. For her debut on Broadway and she was just singing her little heart out. Cause I think it's that musicals, like still when a song's big and everything's come together and it has that crescendo, you just like, be like, yes, it just brings this thing out of you, you know?

I don't know. Yeah, it didn't happen to me. Norjacks. She's like, when is this over? That's great. And you know, they're usually like two and a half hours long. Yeah. Rarely are musicals short.

Let's hear what River had to say. Yeah, River. My answer is my favorite musical is Into the Woods written by Stephen Sondheim. Stephen Sondheim. Stephen Sondheim. Whatever. I was lucky enough to be able to play this on piano at my high school performance or like at my school's high school performance.

Nice. And yeah, I can't wait to hear your guys' answer. Thank you so much for playing my question and see you little pretty little ladies in this next episode. Nice. Thank you River. River crushed it. Yeah. I've never been in a musical myself.

That would be a goal. I would like to try that at some point. I was in a musical in fourth grade, fifth grade. Oh yeah, I was in the one at church about Jonah and the whale. Oh yeah, I was in the one at church about Jonah and the whale. Jonah, Jonah, Jonah, Jonah. That's what we sing. And the whale. I was in a Peanuts musical, but I played, you know who I played?

Who? Charlie Brown? Peppermint Patty. Oh yeah, Peppermint Patty. But the odd thing was they put me in a dress. Oh. It's like, no. She's the tomboy, right?

The full blown lesbian, yeah. She's not a tomboy, she's a full blown lesbian. Yeah. That's what we called full blown lesbians before they knew they were Tomboys. I think I maybe had one line and I didn't have to sing, but I was in the musical. I was in the vicinity of a musical. Yeah.

So. I love it. I love you too. Oh, I love you. Well, that was delightful. Yes, it was. I'm hoping that you have a nice Christmas TIG. I think I will, especially now that we know Max and Finn are kind of neutral about Christmas,

the pressure's not on. There's no elf on the shelf. No, we've never had an elf on the shelf. And then this year Stephanie was like, how about you and I don't get gifts for each other and then we just do a really special activity or take a weekend getaway. And I was like.

That's what I like. Yeah, I was like, I am all in on that. Yeah, cause like, we're kind of at a point where we're like, what are we gonna get each other? Yeah, it's like, okay, here's a sweater. Yeah, well, that sounds great. It's just different and I don't know, I'm looking forward to it,

that it's not full blown lesbian. Right. Well, I'm gonna take a sexy picture of me by my pink tree and send it to you. Okay, please do. Well, I'm going to take a sexy picture of me by my pink tree and send it to you. Okay. Please do. And seriously, Thomas, I hope you put Annie on the list. It's on the list.

Okay. That's a little fortunate. That sun will come out tomorrow. If you haven't watched Crushing It, watch it on Netflix. And I sing twice church songs. They've all watched it, but watch it again. And if you're listening to this on the day it comes out, our live streaming show is Tomorrow, Tomorrow.

Tomorrow. I love ya. Tomorrow. I love you tomorrow. You know what I like to do is combine musicals and sing Chicago, Chicago, I love you, Chicago. I bet a lot of people from Chicago are gonna tune in. This is a great opportunity for you guys to have like a fun holly bob party.

It's a Saturday night, it's 5.30 Pacific, 8.30 Eastern, but the link is good for a week if you want a Sunday party or a Monday party or a Christmas party. Or an everyday party fortune. That's right Tig. So yeah, get your tickets for our live show. Tomorrow, Saturday, December 21st. And you can get your ticket to watch anywhere in the world

at our social media pages or dynastytypewriter.com. And until next time, keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tignitaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gun podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check the expiration date

on your soy milk before taking a big swig. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US only. Savings vary, terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.