Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #3

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

Another Friday, another Pretty Little Episode, with YOUR listener questions you've always wanted to hear Fortune, Mae and Tig answer! Submit your questions at speakpipe.com/handsomepodHandsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Savings vary. Handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Pretty little episode. Welcome to a pretty little episode. Yeah, welcome you guys. Welcome you guys.

I like our vibe with this one. Hey guys. That's right. Welcome. We're so excited that people are asking us questions cause we have so many answers. We have so many answers. We have so many answers. We have the kind of answers that are gonna blow your tigs off.

Fortune Marie. Fortune Marie. That is kind of a funny saying, I'm gonna blow your tigs off. Yeah, I like that. New merch alert. Handsome Pod will blow your tigs off. Yeah, let's hear what people wanna know. Yeah. Hey, Handsome Pod, my name is Leah.

I'm in San Francisco. And my question for you today is about humor. And I wanna know what's something that always makes you laugh? Leah, we don't know a lot about humor, the three of us. We're pretty serious. Not really our thing. No, I am interested to hear this question.

I like dumb, silly stuff. I like farts and people falling over. I like farts and people falling over. You know? I'm like farts? Yeah. So you, if someone were to have like a whoopee cushion situation, you'd be like, that's hilarious. I'm in heaven. Yeah.

Or like some, you know, yeah, yeah. I also, anytime someone says something vaguely insulting to Conan O'Brien and he does that deadpan stare to the camera. That's pretty good. Conan O'Brien's face, he cracks me up. It's a ridiculous face. It's the best, yeah. What about you guys?

Yeah, I'm into really silly stuff too. Some of the old school SNL sketches I can still quote to this day. Me too. Molly Shannon's like, I'm 50, 50 years old. And I like to kick and stretch and kick because I'm 50. Like things like that, like the over the top characters, like when Will Ferrell plays, you know, the Anchorman guy, like people that commit to like really ridiculous things.

I love it. When people really go for it. As stupid as that was, made me laugh. Yeah. Big choices, big swings that people commit to. Because I think that's sort of out of my wheelhouse for what I do. I want to be more like that in improv. I'm a little more like that.

Like when Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell come out on stage for an award show, I'm like, give it to me. Whatever crazy thing I'm like, give it to me. Whatever crazy thing you've got, give it to me. Yes, I mean, bridesmaids really makes me laugh, the shitting scene and when they're trading off Rose Byrne and Kristen Wiig taking the mic from each other and keep smiling when they get to kill them. That's great.

Yeah, I love silly and I also love really awkward and uncomfortable where you're like, oh, what is happening? What on earth is happening right this moment? Yes. The British office. You definitely lean into that in your own comedy too, like silence and making people wait for the thing.

Yeah, that gets me too. Like I do love when I say something on the pod and take your face just stays completely still. It's like a comedy choice, but it kills me. Yeah, I mean, it's that whatever, do I really need to sit here and explain comedy? But just that fun of leaving somebody hanging after they've made a big swing or leap or said something weird or awkward and then just greet them with nothing.

And just let that vibe shake everybody. I love bloopers and the British office has bloopers that reach like a real level of hysteria where they're like, take 49. And it's like two actors that just are like not even enjoying laughing anymore. They're just like, I'm gonna die. I don't know why I can't do this. And that makes me laugh.

I do have a question for you Tig. When you're setting up those awkward moments or long pauses or like, you know, via the introducing the indigo girls or scooching the stool across the thing, in the early stages of those, are you ever tempted to bail on the bit or you have no problem? Am I tempted to bail? Yeah, like where you're like, oh no. No, no, no. No. I dig in, head down and go for it.

Yeah, that is the best when it stops being funny and you're like, well, I know it's only gonna get funny again if I stick with it. Yeah, yeah. I mean,'s only gonna get funny again if I stick with it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't make me uncomfortable. It really invigorates me. Whereas, like, if I'm telling a story and I can't figure out where I'm going, I'll get

a little like, oh, God, where am I going with this? What's happening? I love that we all, the three of us find similar people really hilarious though. Like, yeah, it's that era of SNL women for me is huge. And yeah, the Conan's, I find Martin Short insane funny. He's so good and ridiculous. Yeah, like silliness, yeah.

Well, that's a great question. Should we hear what she has to say? I tend to gravitate towards more dry, sarcastic humor, but the one thing that always makes me laugh is when other people are laughing. When I think about the SNL sketches where I have laughed the hardest, it's always when one of them breaks and they're giggling and I just can't stop myself from laughing. And I experienced that with your podcast as well when you are all laughing together,

I'm always laughing with you. And so I think it's just wonderful that laughter is contagious and I love your podcast and thank you so much for the podcast. That's so nice. Remember Debbie Downer, that Rachel Dratch sketch and every time the camera zooms in to her, mwah, mwah, and she can't,

and she's meant to be looking really sad, but she's trying not to laugh so her mouth is shaking. It's so good. I think obviously it's so fun to laugh when other people are laughing. What I can't stand is when people, you know, are breaking and doing a laugh to make you laugh. Oh yes, a fake blooper, like a fake laugh is nothing worse.

Also, and I'm guilty of this for sure, being backstage at a comedy show with other comics and there's some comic on stage and the fellow comics are doing that fake, supportive comedian laugh. Ha ha ha! Ha ha! Yeah, like that. supportive comedian laugh. Ha ha ha! Ha ha!

Yeah, like that. To be like, I get the joke and I'm cool. And especially if the audience isn't laughing, I'm laughing. Yeah, it's like I'd rather silence. I'd rather silence than... Laughter does beget laughter. I used to do a thing called table envy. Uh, where, uh, if say like we, you're out with, it used to work back like more college when I was like with my tennis team and there'd be a table of us at one

table and another table that had other teammates, whatever. And I'd be like, you guys, when I count to three, we're all going to laugh as hard as we can, it's just so hard. Okay. And they're like, wait, why? I go, just trust me. And it's to make the other tables envious that your table's having the most fun.

And everyone's kinda like, okay. So I go one, two, three, and we go, ah! And everyone stops and stares at us. But then you're laughing, then you can't stop laughing. Yes. Now it's just contagious. So I highly encourage people to try Table Envy. That's great.

That's great. And I feel like humans have a shared sense of humor, and I know that from the internet and memes and things where I'm like, yeah, we're all on board that this owl running is funny. Because we didn't know its little legs looked like that, you know. May, send me the owl video. Oh, I'm going to right now. It's wild. Homeowners, we know you're listening. You might be sitting in your home right now, in fact. We want to let you know that you can save money on your home insurance by switching to Allstate today.

Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast We're Here to Help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bedsheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight

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Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. Okay, well, thank you for that. And let's hear our next question. This one's from Dave. Dave. Hello, handsome pod. My name is Dave.

I'm a preschool music teacher here in Portland, Oregon. And my question for you is, do you still remember the teacher that made learning more fun for you? Big time. Oh, I love my teachers. Yeah, Tig, you have a specific one. I think you've talked about before. I had a vice principal.

Yeah. You have a specific one, I think you've talked about before. I have a vice principal. I guess she didn't make learning fun, but every time I was in trouble and sent to her office she didn't really reprimand me. She talked to me and tried to get to the bottom of what was going on with me and showed me love and compassion and it just really changed my life. One million percent changed my life. Yeah. That's amazing. I've got two, Mrs. Silver and Mrs. Reiki.

And I'm still in touch with both of them, particularly Mrs. Reiki who I do owe a tax, but Mrs. Reiki was my grade one teacher and she was just cool. And she bought me a knapsack because I think my parents were having hard times, she bought me a knapsack because I don't, I think my parents were having hard times, couldn't afford a knapsack.

And I had like, because they spent all the money on the tuition, I had like plastic, a plastic bag instead. And she took me aside and she gave me a little penguin backpack, yeah. And she rules. And then Mrs. Silver was my music and drama teacher. And she was like, she made me Charlie Brown in your good band Charlie Brown

and she just like took me seriously. She was like, yeah, and she was funny. And one time I got a laugh attack in her class with my friend Laura, like could not stop laughing and she was like, you guys just go laugh somewhere else. Like just go in the hall and laugh and she just let us like go laugh. Yeah, I mean, I could do a whole episode laugh somewhere else, like just go in the hall and laugh and she just let us go laugh. Yeah.

I mean, I could do a whole episode on all the teachers I love, which maybe we will one day. Yeah. I had so many amazing teachers. Two that stand out, Mr. Bumgarner was my kindergarten teacher. Bumgarner? Mm-hmm. And he rocked a nice stash.

Bumgarner? Sorry, that was Bumgarner. Bumgarner? Bum Gardener? Mm-hmm, and he rocked a knife stash. Bum Gardener? Sorry, that was Bum Gardener. Bum Gardener, Bum Gardener? Does that sound weird? Y'all never heard that last name? A bum gardener? A bum, bum gardener. Bum gardener?

Somebody gardening in a bum? That's a real last name. Y'all never heard it? No, I believe it, yeah. Well, but I mean, even if we've heard it. It is. Bum Gardener? B it. Yeah. Okay. Well, but I mean, even if we've heard it, it is- Bum gardener? Bum gardener.

It's a, yeah. Well, he, well, he did, he was, ended up being gay. He wasn't gardening. And why was he- And why was he special? He was just amazing. Everybody wanted him. He was so fun and he dressed so nice and he just like, just had such a wonderful spirit,

you know? He's like the quintessential kindergarten teacher you wanted to have that just made everything delightful. I wish I could remember more. I just remember his essence, you know, and presence. And then my ninth grade English teacher, Mrs. Hoard, was who, or eighth grade English teacher, she's who got me into public speaking,

which I feel like got me into like wanting, you know, being okay speaking in public. And I never knew that was a thing. And she had me do these oratorical contests and just was so fun. And she would take us on field trips to like museums in Charlotte, because just sort of opened our eyes

to like more culture and things that hadn't been exposed to art. And she was just like really fun and cool and progressive in this, you know, tiny southern town. And was she a hoarder? She was not. In the way that he was a bum gardener.

Everyone's name we're going to take very literal. Yeah. God, it is true though, like teachers who are just passionate about anything, like then it is so contagious. And yeah, yeah. Yeah, and kids just need, you know, that person in their life that's just like, you got this, you can do this. It's really impactful when you're young. Yeah, for sure.

To have guidance and people just sort of seeing you. Yeah. Stephanie blows my mind because she can remember every single kid from every class she was ever in where they sat, every teacher's name. Oh my God. And I'm like, wow. I think I'm sort of similar. I definitely grades one to nine.

I could tell you everyone. I had a small class though, but I could tell you. I couldn't tell you everybody's name. I could tell you every teacher. We had a teacher like this is an example. Like when someone's passionate, you do remember we had a teacher, like this is an example, like when someone's passionate, you do remember we had a teacher, Mr. He would say a fraction is a division. So you don't have to make a decision.

You just take the numerator and divide by the denominator and sooner or later you get a repeater or a terminator. And I remember it my whole life. That was grade seven. Was this in the eighties? No, this was in the nineties. I can't remember that. Nineties. I'll remember it my whole life. That was grade seven. Was this in the 80s? No, this was in the 90s. I can't believe you remember that. I'll remember it my whole life, but I think he got fired for

buying booze for kids. So maybe beep out his name. All the good ones go down like that. It's a funny punchline to the story, but it was, you know, he was in his rapper days. He was buying booze in like a gin and juice, and one of those brown paper bags. God, why don't all the fun ones just end up going down, freaking smoking cigs with students and booze. Yeah. Should we hear their answer? Yeah.

Dave, what's up? My teacher was Mr. Dave Meyer in Walla Walla, Washington. He was my social studies teacher in my freshman year of high school. And he let my band come in and play songs as a sort of social experiment, mainly because he and I connected over the band Meat Puppets and it was a lot of fun.

Wow. So I loved the podcast and I can't wait to hear more. Bye bye. Oh, I love that. The Meat P't wait to hear more. Bye bye. Oh, the meat puppets. That's like a real hip teacher. Yeah, that's cool. And I wonder what the band was like too. If Dave's band was hardcore.

Meat puppetry. They're all playing xylophones. Well, thanks for the question. His name is Dave too, right? Yeah, thanks Dave. Dave loves a Dave. All right, this next question is from Janet. Hi handsome.

I thought I would ask all you pretty little ladies a question about women's sports. So as a division one women's basketball coach, I absolutely have loved seeing the publicity of the sport, you know, the excitement, the publicity, all of it that has grown, you know, over the last few years and wanted to find out what sports did all three of you play, if any, growing up and what women's sports do you follow now? Thanks, handsome. That's very cool that she's a Division One basketball coach. I'm a pretty little they-dee, but there were no they teams growing up. I did play soccer.

I played soccer. That was my jam. Yeah. I mean, I played, you know, with my brother in the yard. I'd play football and baseball and basketball and the driveway, but I was all about soccer. I was huge into sports. I have two older brothers, so I just wanted to do what they did. And so, um, well, I sucked at swimming. I've talked about that on Sweet and Salty's special. But you're great at treading. I'm great at treading. But I was obsessed with soccer as a kid, played all the time. And that was like my sport. Basketball was kind of my like, you know,

this was pre like phone, like cell phones. And so I would go outside and just like shoot hoops all day. But when I got to junior high, I played, they didn't have a women's soccer team, so I had to quit soccer when I got to junior high because they wouldn't allow girls to play on the boys' teams. It was just so sad because I spent the last seven years, soccer was my life. So I played on the softball team, the basketball team, and I did shot putt for the track team. No way. And then every summer I played, I know, right?

It's like the Dicius thing. I played tennis every summer and that was also my big sport. But there was no tennis team in junior high, but I played year round like lessons and in the summer I was in the league. When I got to high school, I played on the tennis team, basketball team and softball team. Still didn't have a women's soccer team yet. When I got to college, I played in my college tennis team, basketball team, and softball team. Still didn't have a women's soccer team yet. When I got to college, I played in my college tennis team

and my senior year I decided to also play on my college soccer team. And so I didn't play soccer since I was 12. I hadn't played soccer since I was 12 and just decided to play on my college soccer team my senior year of college. What position? Forward, I was 12 and just decided to play on my college soccer team my senior year of college. What position? Forward.

I was a shooter. Damn. Yeah, I can imagine you. Are you crazy competitive? Like, are you a good loser? I'm not like a, I don't lose my mind competitive, but you know, I'm a good, I was a good teammate. I was good at like, you know, we got to do this, like bring it in. I was good at communicating on the field.

Go here, go bring it in. I was good at communicating on the field, go here, go there. I was terrible at communicating on the field when people were like, hustle, hustle, come. I'd be like, all right, relax. Don't talk to me like that. They don't yell at me, I'm doing my best. I played tennis every Thursday in a league here and a softball every Sunday.

And I played soccer every Monday night for many, many years. To make friends. To make friends at first. And then I just loved it. And then when the pandemic hit, I get it all kind of came to an end. So my athlete, now I don't feel like an athlete, but I've been playing sports my whole life up and going pandemic. They should do more, um, hacky sack teams. Cause I'm,. They should do more hacky sack teams because I'm getting back into hacky sack

and I'm pretty good. They probably have that. They probably have those teams in LA. Where it's just like keepy upy. Like you're just trying to keep it up. It's not really competitive. It's like just how many hits. Well, women's sports right now

is definitely having a big light shined on them. Thank goodness, finally. Women's sports right now is definitely having a big light shine on them. Thank goodness, finally. The women's soccer team has done a lot to push that. Women's sports and the media. The women's World Cup soccer is epic. The soccer team has been amazing for so long. You see the sweatshirts right now.

Everyone watches women's sports, that's very popular. Caitlin Clark in the WNBA, she got a huge resurgence of people interested in college basketball. The final had the most watched, more watched, it had more viewers than the men's final this year which is unheard of. The sports, they're showing these basketball games like the Liberty in New York. The whole place is full. It's really cool to see that people are investing in the women's sports.

The pay disparity is so insane. It's outrageous. It's outrageous. And then when I was watching the Women's World Cup soccer stuff, I was like, these are better games to watch because they're not faking as many injuries. Some of those World Cup games, people are just rolling around and no one's come near them in the replay. And it seemed to me, not to generalize, but the women's teams, there was more play.

They were playing soccer. Yeah, for sure. They're not big babies, but yeah, those women spearheaded equal pay and they finally got it. So there's a lot of movement happening and a lot more to go, but it's definitely headed in a much better direction. It's insane that it's even a conversation. I know. I know. And Janet didn't have an answer. So thanks Janet. I want the three

of us to be sitting courtside with Jack Nicholson. Yeah, we got to go to a game. I went to an Angel City soccer game. That was super fun. I saw handsome folks there wearing the hats and saw some shirts. Seriously? Yeah. Will you let me know next time you go? I really want to come. Yeah. Go women's sports. That was fun. Keep sending in your questions. Yes, please. Handsome and little ladies and they-dies

and everywhere in between. Yeah, we want to hear them. Yeah, hope everybody has an awesome weekend and we'll see you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. Put in the meantime, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulett. Email us at handsomepod at gml.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. Home insurance can be complex,

but getting a great policy at a great price can be straightforward and simple. With Allstate, you can save time and money by switching your home insurance. They make it easy to switch and save today. Check Allstate first and you can save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate.

Not available in every state based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary.