Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #33

Episode Date: April 4, 2025

Tig and Mae talk about what CDs they're spinning and pillow pref's on a perfectly potent Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is streaming LIVE from Austin April 12! Get your tickets here.Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check that you've got some shorts ready to go when that nice weather finally arrives, there's nothing like showing off your gams to the world to ring in the spring. Check-in first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate firing casualty insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Pretty Little Episode Welcome to another Pretty Little Episode with your old pal, Mae Martin. And your even older pal, Tignotaro. Nice to be here. Nice to be where I am. Just doing normal things as a normal person, living a normal life. It sounds like you're hiding something

when you say it like that. It sounds like you're doing weird shit. Listen, I pride myself on I'm not hiding anything. Did I tell you about the time I was sitting in my old house on the couch, curtains were open? Did I tell you this story? No, no. Oh, and the sun went down as I was working on my computer. And I thought, I really need to get up and shut my curtains.

Yeah, because people were, you know, walking by my place. And I just thought, I got nothing to hide. Yeah. That's all I'm doing. I'm sitting on a couch returning emails. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just I don't think I'm hiding anything.

No, you I've said before, maybe one of my favorite quotes is that happiness is when what you say, what you think and what you do are in alignment. And I feel like you do live that way. Like I try to. Yeah, you try. I try to. And do you feel like you're far off from that? Yes. Well, I just am a bit of a people pleaser sometimes, I think. And, and do you want to not be a people pleaser? Well, I reject like, there's a new kind of self-care therapy using language that people use sometimes about like being like, like that's very hard line,

like cut people out of your life, look after number one, do practice like rigorous self-care that means like you're not emotionally accountable to anyone else. Everyone else is responsible for their feelings and I don't like that. Yeah. So I don't want to go too far that way, but I definitely do need to be a little, um, a little more boundary.

I feel that same way. I mean, I don't, I don't feel harshly towards people. I mean, unless they're being totally weird, and you know, then I'm like scram clown. You know, I don't have. Did I tell you the scram clown story? No, but I Oh, this rings a bell maybe that I said we need merch of scram clown, but I can't remember the story. What is it? When Chris Fairbanks and I live together, we were having a yard sale. And somebody walked up and was acting very weird at our little table with our little pieces of garbage we were trying to sell. And it really was becoming problematic.

And I just went, all right, scram clown. And he was so flustered and he just shuffled off. And I was, and Chris turned to me as like, wow. I have never heard that story. Oh you haven't? We do need scram clown merch. Okay, yeah, it's just, it just hit me like a ton of bricks in that moment of like,

I don't have to sit here and be patiently taking in his very uncomfortable, weird stuff. And I thought if I step it up a notch and go beyond kind of my normal vibe, then maybe he'll leave. And I truly did it like, all right, that's it, scram clown. I liked that a lot. He was gone.

I did have a breakthrough once where I, cause on your deathbed, you're not gonna be like, oh, I'm so glad I patiently sat in all those conversations with people who didn't give a shit about. And so one time I was on a date and I had been on a few first dates where the people hadn't asked me a single question about myself and I'd been like doing all the,

so after like 45 minutes, I was like, do you wanna know anything about me? Like, would you like to ask a question? Yeah, it felt good to say that, but it did ruin the vibe completely. Oh, for both people. Yeah. I mean, my vibe was already lost because I was already annoyed. Yeah, I'm trying to think if I could bounce back, if I if someone said that to you, someone said that to me or if I said that to them,

it would probably depend on their reaction. Someone said that to me or if I said that to them, it would probably depend on their reaction. Yeah, yeah, if they can be self-deprecating about it. Yeah, if they could really get real and in check in the moment and we could kind of, you know, if they're like, I'm sorry, I was nervous and I just kept talking about myself and that probably opened me up. I think I didn't say it meanly and And you're right. That comes from nervousness.

Like even now I'm like, Oh man, but they just probably were nervous. Yeah. But we'll never know. We'll never know. We will never know. Do you think about either of those people still? No. Yeah, that's fine. Is there anybody you still think about that you kind of almost? Oh, innumerable. I can't let things go. I'm a nostalgic, sentimental person.

I'm writing songs about people. I'm like, I cannot let things go. I love people. But not just people you are involved with, but somebody. Is there somebody that you just had one date with and you just don't know quite why it didn't work out? And are you like, ah, I can't stop thinking about that person from 10 years ago.

No, but I have sort of friends who are, like I wrote, I have a song on the album I put out called I Love You So Much. Commercial. And it's like about a you know those friends that you have in your life where you're like I You're a hundred percent my friend. I love hanging out with you and that's great But if if you said the word I would blow up my whole life to like, you know what I mean?

Wait, no, okay. You blow up your whole life to to be with them Yeah, like just the friends who you're like, I'm so happy being your friend. I love your partner. I love everything about you. But like if that person turned on the charm one night or was like, hey, I have feelings for you, you'd be fucked. You'd be a goner. Uh huh.

Anyway, I played that in London and a lot of my friends were there and apparently like six people thought it was about them because I have these very like gray area friendships a lot I guess. And so you- In my 20s anyway. Was that song written for all of those people or was it one person? One person. One person.

And you still feel that way about that person? Well you don't know till it happens really. I like love them as a friend. Have you ever written a song for someone? I have not good ones. I feel like I write music or I did I used to I don't anymore like melodies and instrumental. Yeah instrumentals. It's more of what I would do and And I was, I mean, every now and

then I try and cram some words in there and it was like, this isn't a match. I'm not a songwriter. Why is like yearning so creatively productive? Like, there's that quote in the great Gatsby that's like, the object of his yearning could never live up to the yearning itself or something like that. Like when you actually get there, you're like, anyway. Yeah, yearning, it's a really interesting, I know that when I've been in that place, I need space for my life and people.

And I need to just kind of- Stew. Yeah, and just like be in like a music spiral and think about my feelings about the person and all of that kind of stuff. Yeah. That's that's what happens to me. So satisfying to just like if you give yourself that space to wallow a little bit and like get emo then I think you move through it faster. Yeah for sure. And also those are always the most relatable feelings in the world like everyone has had that feeling. Yes well should we um see if we can relate to anyone's

feelings in their questions? Just so you know this whole time I've been talking about you that song I wrote. On to our question. Hey handsome pod, it's me, KJ, your other handsome friend. I just wanted to say thanks for all the laughs and May, thank you for your new album. I've been waking up with it in my head, listening to it every day. Nice. And for that reason, I just want to know what CDs are you guys putting on repeat all the time?

CDs. Oh my god. I put a CD on. Thanks for listening to the album. That's so nice to think of someone waking up and putting it on. Yeah. What CD have you been putting on? What have I been listening to? I listened to the same kind of four people on repeat. I listened to Half Moon Run, this Canadian band. They just put out a new single. I listened to Elliot Smith, The Beatles, and recently getting back into Bob Dylan because I guess everyone, because of that movie coming out, and in my teens I felt like I had like a personal relationship to Bob Dylan and then I've really forgotten that and then I was listening to hard rain's gonna fall the other night and thinking, oh my God, the lyrics. That is a good tune.

Have you heard Edie Burkell's version of it? No, I'm writing that down now. I mean, don't just write it down and not revisit that. I have notebooks full of things I wrote down while you were talking. I know, but it's so important for you to listen to Edie Burkell and New Bohemians. A hard rain's gonna fall.

A hard rain's gonna fall. I can't wait to. It is so wildly, I'm not crazy about cover songs. Yeah. But my Lord is that perfection. Oh man, do you ever find, like music is so evocative that if you're genuinely feeling down, you can't go there. Like, I've got to be in a good place to listen to sad songs because I want to feel

something. If I'm already down, I can't listen to sad songs. I got to listen to like sort of nineties R and B. And so where does Alanis fit in your rotation? Well, after I saw Alanis live recently, I listened to Jacket Little Pill every morning while I worked out. And my personal trainer, he would put it on his little Bluetooth thing

and I would listen to the entire album. And some of those songs are sad to work out too. Yeah, I love her. What about you? I dated somebody years ago. I think when that album first came out that played it on repeat, repeat, repeat. Yeah. So and then I think that it wasn't until. What was her song?

Thank you. Thank you, India. I love that song. Thank you, frailty. I love. Do you like her song? Thank you. Thank you India. I love that song. Thank you frailty. Do you like that song? I love that song. I love it so much. I think that's when Alanis got my attention.

Really? Yeah, I like that. Yeah, cause the first, that other album, I enjoyed it. But you kind of had to rebel against the person you're dating who was obsessed as well. Maybe. I don't know. I was just like, oh yeah, this is good. But then, yeah, when Thank You came out, I was like, I don't know how much more perfect this song can be.

Yeah, you're right. It ranks up there with Edie Burkell's version of A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall. I can't wait to hear that. Yeah, what are you listening to in your house? Like do your kids put stuff on? Yeah, I would say I've never been like a, I think I've talked about how Max and Finn are very, well, Max is very into pop punk, like Blink 182. Yes. He's so into Blink 182 Green Day. He's really into what is it? What American rejects? What is it? Yeah. All American. All American rejects. Like he good Charlotte. Yeah. He's into all of that stuff. Like the best thing about seeing those bands live now, like Good Charlotte still touring, is they haven't changed the lyrics. So it's still like, that girl in class was mean to me.

My dad didn't pick me up. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check that the magician who's going table to table is okay with you doing a couple tricks of your own before asking to borrow their deck. Checking First is smart, so check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate fire and casualty insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook,

Illinois. I know, I always think when we're driving them to school, because we alternate between that and like Eminem, because Finn just, I mean, is so into Eminem and Kendrick Lamar. I mean, is so into Eminem and Kendrick Lamar. And so we alternate between those two. But whenever the All American Rejects song, I Don't Wanna Be Like You, you know that song? I Don't Wanna Be Like You. Or I Don't Wanna Be Just Like You. Yeah, it feels like such a song that they wrote

specifically for kids that are feeling rebellious about their parents. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so we're pulling up to the school to drop them off with the windows down and we have All American Rejects, Blaring or Eminem. That's so good. But I'm so enjoying being into their music. Yeah. That's such a great way to bond with them too. And also it must be, it's funny how it's probably cathartic for them, those songs like that, even though they have,

like it doesn't relate to their experience at all, but just all kids have that like, like some subconscious push against authority, even if it's their teachers, like, it must feel good to be like singing those tunes in full volume. Yeah. And it's fun to be their two moms in the front seat rocking out.

So that's kind of it's it's a new thing for me to to be listening to music through somebody else's ears. Yeah. And it's not like my go-to. Like I was never into pop punk. I was into the sex pistols. Yeah, punk punk. Yeah. And when Stephanie, when we got together,

you know, her age lines up with Blink 182 and all of those good Charlotte. And I'd be like, when she would refer to it as punk, I was like, this isn't punk. It's not punk, it's pop. It is so melodic. Yeah, yeah. Punk is not melodic.

I mean, even though now the Sex Pistols actually sound melodic. Yeah, I think you would love Fontaine's DC, this Irish band that are so amazing now. And they're quite hard, like they have a punk element, I love Fontaine's DC, this Irish band that are so amazing now. And they're quite hard. Like they have a punk element, but also, but like the lead singer is just a poet.

It's, they're amazing. Fontaine's DC, I listen to a lot. And Young Fathers, the Scottish rap group. Maybe, should we make each other playlists? Yeah. And send me any rap that you think Max and Finn, or especially Finn would like. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. And he doesn't rap that you think Max and Finn, especially Finn would like. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. And he doesn't like things bleeped out. He likes the original version.

And would you agree that Blink-182 and bands like that are punk-pop? Like they're pop-punk or whatever? Yeah. Like they're not punk for whatever yeah like they're not punk for sure and they're not pop yeah yeah pop punk yeah yeah okay because Stephanie was like no this is punk like no I know no no no no no anyway so that's what I'm listening to is Eminem and good Charlotte and blink 182 and Kendrick Lamar and All American Rejects. But mainly I'm listening to true crime podcasts. Let's be honest, I'm trying to wean myself off because I don't want those vibrations in my bod. You don't want those to be in your bod. your bod just like them I gotta be my own guy oh there's one there's one pop punk song that you gotta play for them but it's so it makes me laugh so much

because it's so angsty this guy goes it goes tell my friends I'm dead tell my friends that I am dead it's insane I. I'm leaving now. And who is it by? And this time it's for good. Who's it by? I don't know if I need to introduce that vibe to a day year old right now. Yeah, don't. It's just so emo.

And I'm sorry, what is the band? Oh, Newfound, Newfound Glory. Newfound Glory. Oh, it's Newfound Glory? Yeah, I forgot my name it's called. Yeah, we listen to Newfound Glory. Newfound glory. Oh, it's newfound glory? Yeah, forgot my name it's called. Yeah, we listen to newfound glory. Oh my gosh. It won't be long till you forget my name.

That is what our little family vehicle is blaring out of the windows. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, let's hear KJ's answer. Yes. For me right now, it's Mays, it's DochiJ's answer. Yes. For me, right now, it's Maze, it's Dochey's Alligator Bytes Never Heal,

Kendrick Lamar's GNX, and then it'll randomly also be a John Prine album of some kind. Got to. Thanks, bye. Nice, KJ. I love that, that's an eclectic mix. I love the idea of one of my little mid tempo songs

being followed by Kendrick. Oh man, that's amazing. I hope someone listens to my album on a road trip. That's the dream. Like really getting like cinematic in their minds. Mm hmm. I'm sure it's happened many times. Should we get one more quick question? Yes, let's do a quickie. Hello, handsome pod. My name is Erin and I live in Florida. And my question is, how many pillows do you sleep with and what is the size and firmness of those pillows?

I've asked this question to a lot of friends and family and I'm always really surprised by the answer. So I'd love to hear yours. I want to predict each other's answer. Okay. I feel like maybe now you have an orthopedic pillow of some kind, but I feel like for a long time,

maybe you had like a thin, like as thin as a credit card. You are completely right about the orthopedic pillow. Okay. Yes, for sure. And then is that the end of your guess? We'll see like a firm, a firm pillow. Not too firm but like a decent firmness. Yeah. It's a really nice orthopedic pillow. Do you have a body pillow? Like a long one? I do. It's not like one of those specifically, you know, snoodles or whatever those are called where it like wraps around your whole body and ends your marriage. But I do have a long pillow that I'll, if I turn over on my side, I put between my knees or whatever. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I have my orthopedic pillow and then just a long pillow, uh, in case, in case I need to go over on my side.

And maybe like an extra regular pillow floating around in case. Those would be Stephanie's. Okay. Yeah. Um, but I will say one of my biggest annoyances in life and that I do not understand at all is people that fill their bed with decorative pillows. I completely agree. What the hell is, what? I don't understand.

You're gonna throw them off the bed right away. And do they look that good on the bed? No No, it's the people that put pillows like beyond even halfway down the bed like yeah Oh, those pillows pillows why I guess if you're hanging out Fully clothed on top of your bed reading a book maybe but like no keep your bed your bed No, yeah, I agree. It's a whole process of taking all the pillows off. Where do they go? Yeah.

Just on the floor? Gross. Yeah, gross. And then you just put them back up? No. What do you think my pillow situation is? I think you have three fluffy pillows. Interesting.

Or no pillow. Interesting. I'm not a psychopath. Can you imagine? Prove it. Prove it. Okay. You're not going to believe this, but my pillow situation is I have an orthopedic pillow for my neck. Okay. And I have a long body pillow that I sometimes hug when I go on my side. Exact same. So it's really literally identical setup. Wow. So this would have been a perfect two against one because we know fortune has to have some different pillow i bet you surrounded by fluffy cloud pillow yes yeah no i'm yeah i love to spoon a body pillow. Do you just have a regular long pillow you didn't buy a snoodle thing or whatever those are called no not one of the ones that like wraps around wraps around, but it is memory foam. It's not regular, but it's just like a long cylinder. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, let's hear Aaron's answer. Yeah. My answer is I sleep with four pillows. I have

two that are sort of under my head. I prefer my head to actually be on a fairly small, like scrunchy pillow that you can mold into different shapes. And then I have one pillow on the side I'm facing so I can sort of cuddle it to support my arm. And then I have one between my legs to support my knees and hips and everything. But I've talked to so many people who only sleep with one little pillow under their head and I don't understand what's happening. What are their arms doing? Well, the one under the arm and the one between the legs could be replaced by one long cylinder. Yeah, you got to be more economical here. Absolutely. You heard it here first.

You heard it here first, Erin. Yeah. Great question. Yeah, both great questions. These are always so fun. Please send in more questions for us to pick from. Is it speakpipe.com? It is speakpipe.com. Slash handsome pod. That's right. And tune into our live stream show on April 12th. Yes, April 12th. You must tune in because there is going to be a, it's an off the charts surprise for May and Fortune

that night. You do not wanna miss this live stream. Thomas is nodding with a smirk on his face, yes. You're in on it, Thomas? Yes, he is. I love a surprise. Oh, it is quite a surprise. Fuck, I gotta get planning.

I wanna, something. Yeah, well, it's not gonna top what I have. No, I'm so excited to be astounded. And you and Fortune, you deserve every bit of what's coming to you. That seems ominous. Check out my Instagram for upcoming shows. I'm at Largo April 25th in LA or MayMartinMusic.com for music stuff. And I will be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas June 14th and then I will also

be in P-Town August 23rd. Go to Tignotaro.com and you'll see all of my dates there which also include Largo and Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. But yeah, until next time, I mean, keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check and make sure your oven is preheated before throwing in that

pizza. You want that pie to be as crispy as possible. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary. Subject to terms, conditions, and availability.