Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #35

Episode Date: April 18, 2025

Tig and Mae "splash out" on a very splashy Pretty Little Episode, and talk about iconic love stories, dressing for awards shows, memorable smells, and more!You can still watch the replay of Handsome's LIVE show from Austin, TX! Get your tickets here.Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check and see what you bought your niece for her birthday last year before buying this year's gift because she doesn't need two copies of the same book. Checking First is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company

and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome Pot Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pot Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pot Pretty Little Episode Welcome to a pretty little episode of the Handsome Pod. I'm Mae Martin, joined one-on-one. With your very dear friend Tig Notaro. Hello. Hello, Mae.

Hello, Tig. Hello. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? Are you? Yeah, I'm having an apple. I'm going are you doing? I'm good. How are you? Yeah, I'm having, I had an apple.

I'm gonna go to the gym after this. I truly and almost literally have an apple a day. Really? Yes. I thought you were gonna say something about the gym, but I love that you have an apple a day. I have an apple a day. I love it, I love it, I love it.

And it always happens that when I sit down and have my apple, Stephanie calls me. No, or she walks into the room and her imitation of me is, help, help. But it doesn't seem to keep the doctor away for me though. Right, right. Yeah. But who knows, you could be the doctor even for me though. Right, right. Yeah.

Who knows? You could be the doctor even more if you weren't having an apple. That's very true. It is very true. What's your poison apple wise? What are you, we're talking Gala, pink lady. Honeycrisp.

Oh yeah, yes. You speak my language. And I think I mentioned it on here and somebody said, I can't even remember the name, but gothic crisp. I don't know what it was. I don't know. I'm wrong about it, but I just really love a very crisp, crisp apple. I mean, I can't, if it's even slightly off, I mean, the Mealy kind of apples, I really really I cannot do. Oh no no. And when when something's mealy like that I I I will eat the skin off of it and then toss it but

sorry. Yeah you heard me. You'll eat the skin of the apple? Yeah I'll go ahead and eat the skin because you know there's a lot of nutrients in that, but yeah, I'll toss the mealy part, the white insides. So you're taking little nibbles. I'll just like run my teeth a lot, you know, like really pull that skin off. Oh cool. Cause it's not mealy. I'm always scared that there's, you know,

pesticides and stuff in the skin. Yeah, well, there probably is. I do eat organic ones, but that's not always guaranteed organic. But you know, also I've heard it's better to eat any fruit or vegetables, whether it's conventionally grown or organic, as opposed to not having them at all,

whether there's pesticides or not. I mean, it's a real toss up with what's going on and the food going into our bodies, but. What level of ripeness of banana are you working with? Oh, well, it's my understanding that the less ripe, the healthier the banana and the better that it helps absorb other nutrients for other foods that you eat. So I'll have some green on the yellow.

For sure. Yes. I really don't trust people who like very ripe bananas. Yeah, like when it's mushy? Yeah, or just like brown speckled all over the, Oh, yeah. that's a whole other flavor. Well, and you know, if you see a banana

that has green on it with some speckly as well, that hasn't naturally ripened. I see. Yeah, they've used technology to ripen the banana so steer clear of those. No I like like a slightly green banana for refreshing a mild banana flavor. Yeah. But you need a mushy banana for banana bread and absolutely and I feel like I'm a little more flexible with smoothie bananas. Yeah sure sure. But I never like I remember my mother would be you know when there would be like little bruising on the banana she'd be like oh that's the sweet part and it still never tricked me. I was like

well you can have that. I know and then they asked for my rider when I was on tour, like, what do you want in the green room? And then I felt like such an asshole being like bananas, but slightly green. Like, I don't want ripe bananas. And you say bananas, like you sit down before after a show and have more than one. Well, there's, you know, I had band band mates. But yeah, I would normally have one before one after. Mm hmm.

Okay. Yeah. Good. Good for you, May. Thank you. You gotta splash out. What? You have to splash out in life.

You gotta treat yourself. Splash out. I haven't even heard that before. Splash out? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Thomas, have you heard splash out?

I have never heard that. That sounds maybe like a British thing. Really? I'm picturing you, of course, like doing a cannonball into a pool and splashing like in a celebratory way. Like splurge, you know, splurge. Sure. I've heard that.

Okay. So nobody's told me to splash out in life, but you think I'm not going to start? You got to. I mean, I feel like I splash out in certain ways in life, but I really like this. When you tread water, you're splashing out in a way, but no splashing out is like, yeah, just treating yourself, I think. Going for it. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Are you going to maybe try to splash out once today. And then let me know. I don't know if I have room in my day for a splash out. Stephanie and I have to go to the notary to get some documents for Max and Finn notarized. Cause she's gonna be bringing them out of the country without me.

Whoa, so you have to go authorize that. I have to sign a paper saying that I approve Stephanie taking them over the border without me. I mean, hopefully they'll come back. Hopefully. Yeah. I really hope. Maybe you can, on the way back from the notary, splash out with like a nice coffee or something. Well, but I have a conference call right after the notary.

Oh, no. Yeah, I mean, let me look at my calendar. So we're gonna go to the notary. You tell me where I can splash out. Yeah, because maybe at the notary. Oh, I know when I can splash out. I haven't taken a bath yet today. So after the notary, I need to take a bath so I can just splash out and that.

And then I have my call and then I have to start hair and makeup because, you know, I got an awards show tonight. Oh, shit. What's the awards show? It's not going to line up with when this comes out. But Stephanie and I were nominated for the movie, Am I Okay? at the GLAAD Awards. Oh, the GLAAD Awards. Yeah. Yeah. So like the way that you could make a, like, is there a way to make the bath a bit more luxurious than usual? Put a couple flower petals in there.

Maybe, but I'm not really, I don't want things floating around in my water. Right. Now, I was asked to splash out in the outfit tonight with the tickets that they email. It says to make sure to add bright colors to your outfit. I was just planning on wearing black and Stephanie's wearing black. That's a little prescriptive. Yeah. I don't listen to that stuff, you know, because in those moments I always think, if I was Kurt Cobain or Slash,

yeah, are you, no, you're gonna put your top hat on, you're gonna put your raggedy jeans on, you're gonna go to the event. You're not gonna follow totally any sort of rules about your wardrobe. I know, yeah. But Tig, you should splash out at the event. Well, that's what I'm saying is like,

we'll splash out, you mean outside of my outfit? Yeah, like splash out, like, you know, walk up to some celebrity that you admire and say, hey, that's not really splashing out. It's more like ask the waiter, say, I know that there's, you know, free wine on the tables, but I would actually love an espresso martini or something like that. Oh, okay. All right. Without the alcohol or the espresso. Yeah. Decaf, espresso martini with no alcohol. Decaf non-alcoholic drink. That would be way splashed out. That's even more than just

an espresso martini. That is really the drink I cannot have is an espresso martini. That would really mess you up. Oh man, would I be leveled for weeks. That's so pathetic. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check and make sure you've got your cowboy boots on before heading to the hoedown. You know you're going to be two-stepping tonight. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate fire and casualty insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

But that first hour would be electric. Yeah. Well, speaking of electric, should we get to our question? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Hello, handsoms. My name is Carla from Columbus, Ohio. Love your show. You all keep me company in the car a lot and I love it. My question for you is, what is your favorite love story,

either fictional and or in real life? Oh my God, that's good. Yes. You know what? You and Stephanie, that's one of my faves in real life, you and Stephanie. Oh, well that is so nice to hear. Because I'd watched your documentary before even meeting you guys.

I just was very invested. I was going to say, I love my love story with Stephanie as well. I do. I was gonna say I love my love story with Stephanie as well. I do, I do. I yeah, I love it and I hope we can maintain it forever and ever amen. I would say the love story that I love is Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter. Oh, I don't know about that one really. Oh, okay. I mean, these two, well, I mean,

you know who Jimmy Carter is, huh? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But they were just obsessed with each other? I don't know. They just felt like a decent pairing of human beings that loved each other throughout the ages and they met, oh wow, the couple who met when Jimmy was three years old

and Rosalind was a newborn. Oh my God. They wed on July 7th, 1946 and were married for 77 years. Wow. And they were such, I don't know, just giving to the world and their community. And when I looked at them raising a family and going through the White House

as the president and first lady and just staying so active in their lives. And I just, I'm so envious of 77 years. I mean, these people, they both lived to be like a hundred years old. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's crazy. That's so appealing to me.

So appealing. I'm into, I watched the Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward documentary. That was pretty beautiful. And they had their ups and downs and you know. As you do. Yeah, but oh man, like fictional. Cause they're all so sad, the fictional ones. It's all Romeo and Juliet and you know.

We'll get back to you about that one. I don't want this relationship, but I was very fascinated by the Sid and Nancy story. Yes, I mean, I was sucked in to that. Yeah, yeah, Buffy and Angel for me as well. Like Buffy and Angel. What is that? Oh, so Buffy the Vampire Slayer and then Angel. You thought it was one word, Buffy and Angel? No, I thought it was two people, but I just I was like, I thought maybe it was like a real not real housewives, but like, you know, where you pick your bride on TV, like The Bachelor or something.

Yeah. But anyway. No, Buffy is a vampire slayer and Angel is a vampire who has been cursed with a soul by a group of traveling people who he ate a woman basically. Okay. So like 400 years ago, Angel ate this woman. Yeah. Start from the beginning. Yeah.

And Angel was a bad guy. He was a bad vampire and he ate this woman and so... Named Angel. Yeah. Isn't that ironic? Bad guy. Wow. Yes. And then he was cursed by her family to have a soul so that he had to feel the grief of what he'd done because he didn't have a soul before. And so then he was a good vampire for 400 years. And then he met he met Buffy. But guess what, Tig? What may part of the curse was if he ever experienced a moment of pure joy, he would lose his soul again. So he couldn't come he couldn't have an orgasm. So he meets Buffy, and they fall in love. And he's like this sweet, caring vampire who just drinks like cow's blood to get by.

As you do. As you do. And then, of course, one night they have sex. Buffy loses her virginity to him. She wakes up in the morning and he's evil. And this really warped my sense of relationships and sexuality when I was a kid. I was like, if you have sex, the person will leave and never love you again, because he turned evil. But then, you know, he's back and forth across

the series, evil, not evil, evil, not evil. But it was a very romantic and tortured. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And that's good. You like that serious story that? Well, I just was deeply invested. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's kind of your Sid and Nancy, I guess. They're my Sid and Nancy, yeah. Okay, all right. Well, should we hear what Carla has to say?

Yes, please. Carla from Columbus. I love Ohio, by the way. My fictional fave is Morticia and Gomez Adams. I love the way they love each other. My real life one is me and my person, Molly. We sat two seats away from each other in homeroom for all of high school

and then took many, many years to find each other again at 45. So Molly, when you hear this, let me know if you would do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with me. Thanks. What? What? Oh my God. What is happening?

Carla, Molly. You snuck that in. I mean, I didn't even know what was happening and then now I have chills. Me too. I just got chills too. Molly. That was delayed, your chills, Meg. Yeah, you had to say you had yours. I was more invested. Carla and, is it Molly? Yeah. Wow. I know a Molly in Ohio.

Oh my god. This is insane. Is it the same Molly? No, I doubt it. Molly's my first girlfriend. So if it's Molly, Carla would know that and she would mention it. But wow. I hope that Molly says yes, Carla.

We're gonna need an update. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Oh my God. Mind blown. Yeah, that's amazing to be a conduit for this proposal to be a part of your love story. We're honored. Yes. We're honored. Well done Carla.

And welcome to the family, Molly. Very, very cool. All right. Well, gosh, can we even move on? I don't know how we're going to follow that. I don't know either. Do we do another question or are we peace out there? We could do one more. Mr. Thomas says we do one more. So let's do one more. Hello, handsoms. This is Melody from Oklahoma City. And my question for you guys is, what is a smell that will transport you back to a time in your childhood or teenage years and it just brings back all the memories for you? Yes, I have it immediately.

Really? What is it? Copper tone sunscreen lotion. Oh, man. Yeah, that thick white sunscreen. What is it? Copper tone sunscreen lotion. Oh man, yeah that thick white sunscreen. Copper tone, copper tone, copper tone. I'm right back in Mississippi. Copper tone. What about you?

Oh man, that sounded like song lyrics. Copper tone, copper tone, copper tone. I'm right back in Mississippi, copper tone. Well write it. I will right back in Mississippi, Coppertone. Well, write it. I will. For your next album. For me, the first thing that came to mind was my grandma, in her kitchen, it smelled like sausages.

She always had sausages in the fridge. And so- Grandma's sausages. Grandma's sausages. In her problem area? No, in her fridge. And it was a cold kitchen, always very cold. And the smell of cold sausages in my grandma's kitchen. The smell of cold sausages in grandma's problem kitchen. Yeah. You got to write that song. You write it. You lived it. I did live it. Yeah, you gotta write that song. You write it, you lived it.

I did live it. Oh my gosh. What else, like, I mean, cigarettes kind of, because my parents both smoked in the house and then- Oh my gosh, yeah, my parents smoked not only in the house, but in the car with the windows rolled up. And if we complained about it, which my brother did, I mean, I already smoked, so I couldn't really complain, but my brother would complain, mean I already smoked so I couldn't you know really complain but my

brother would complain and I remember my stepfather when my brother would be like can we roll down the window? Rick would be like no! Oh my god! Rick! Because we had the air conditioner on in the car so nobody knew yet that we were being killed. Oh my God. Also, peanut butter cookies baking. That's my only memory of my mom's mom really. She died when I was like two and I vividly remember so much about her house, even though I must have been two.

Yeah, but I swear it's not from photos. It's like the smell of peanut butter cookies baking and then cinnamon hearts. Oh, okay. I was thinking of Nutter Butters. I was like, why were you baking your Nutter Butters? Oh, wait, what's that? A Nutter Butters like a vegan.

A cookie. Oh, a cookie, yeah. Well, it is vegan. It's one of those accidental vegans. Right, right, right. Well, should we hear Melody's answer? Yes, please. Mine is the smell of fresh coffee grounds and cigarettes.

When we would go on vacation with my family and my grandma and my aunt, you know, everybody smoked back then and smoked everywhere. But the combination of coffee and cigarette smoke reminds me of being a kid and watching my grandma and my aunt and my mom sit around and drink coffee and just talk about our plans for the day. So that's a smell that will always take me back to that Motel 6 of my youth. Love it. Thank you guys. Have a good week. You too. Thank you, Melody. Yeah, coffee, coffee grounds. That's pretty evocative. It is, but it just reminds me of every day now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't always get to have copper tone around me. Right. Well, that was fun. That was fun. It's always lovely. I just can't get over the

Carla proposal. I know. And how crazy if it was Molly following up right after if it if it hadn't been Melanie. As soon as I heard my name is I was like, is this Molly? But it was Melody. As soon as I heard, my name is Melody, I was like, is this Molly? But it was Melody. Just as good. If I'd known that something that monumental was gonna come, we probably would have been a little more on point with our answer. Yeah, and I would have worn something different

rather than a little denim Western shirt that I've had for 30 years. It has holes all in it, look at that. I've had for 30 years has holes all in it. Look at that. I've had this for so long. That's perfect though. It really is. I'm sure Molly and Carla or is it Carla and Molly?

It's I mean, I don't know. We don't know these people, but I can't wait for their wedding. Same. I'll go. Yeah. You love Ohio. You already said it. Yeah, I do. I love Ohio and I'm open to them hiring me to officiate their wedding. I've done that before and happy to do it again. So give me a ring a ding.

And if the price is right, I'll be there. Anyway, in the future for other listeners, submit your questions and proposals to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod. That is speakpipe.com slash handsome pod. And please come and see us live wherever we are and subscribe to the pod and send it to your pals. Yeah. Let's grow this handsome community and check out Tignotaro.com for all local and international shows and until next time, keep it pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tignotaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! That was a headgum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check and make sure you got milk before pouring yourself a bowl of cereal. Although sometimes a bowl of dry cereal can still hit the spot. Checking First is smart.

So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.