Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #39

Episode Date: May 16, 2025

Mae and Fortune talk trendy hikes, animal reincarnation, and nature vs. nurture on today's Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's a pretty little episode with me, May Martin, and my handsome co-host. Fortune Feimster. Good morning. Good morning, May. How are you? Good to see you, bud. Yeah, you too. And usually I'm wearing a hat, but I'm not.

Well, I couldn't get my act together today. I woke up really early thinking like, I'm gonna go get a coffee and then I'm gonna go tread my water. Yeah. And the coffee journey ended up taking like an hour and a half. Because I went to this place like a further away

because there is these really good coffees and the traffic sucked and then the line was like out the door and no treading water. So that's why I've not showered or anything. You look absolutely stunning. You look absolutely stunning. I also went on a coffee walk this morning.

Mornings are rough for me, but I was like, I'm gonna take a page out of Fortune's book and like get up. And then I went to the Silver Lake Reservoir and I was walking around, it's so hot and sunny. Like it's already- It's very hot today. It's bacon hot. And Fortune, I found basically the epicenter

of handsome listeners, I think. You did? Is Silver Lake Reservoir. I think six separate people were like, keep it handsome. Like it was so uplifting. I think six separate people were like, keep it handsome. It was so uplifting. And the best one was, just as I was getting ready to leave and this amazing woman goes, I just hear behind me,

is that my handsome May? And I'm like, yes, it is. It's you. And then she comes at this amazing woman and I'm like, what are you up to today? She goes, I was just watching handsome on YouTube. And then she said, well, I'm doing my slow walk. And she was with this amazing moment and I'm like, what are you up to today? She goes, I was just watching Handsome on YouTube and then she said, well, I'm doing my slow walk. And she was with a few people.

I'm like, well, what's the slow walk? And she goes, you get a group of people together and the only rule is you walk as slow as the slowest person. Okay, I like that. Isn't that nice? So you just have a nice little amble around. Yeah, make sure you don't have fast friends. Yeah, no fast friends.

No fast friends are invited to this chat. Yeah, no, you stay. I love that so much. Maybe I'll have to go to have coffee with you sometime at the reservoir. Dude, if you need a little- We'll just walk around going, looking around. Looking around. And the nice thing is that everyone has dogs, so I met a bunch of good dogs. I met these two dogs called Lulu and Zuko. Cute.

I met these two dogs called Lulu and Zuko. Lulu was like this shiny golden retriever, full of beans, little pink collar, and then Zuko, different vibe. Zuko was like, like Zuko was a little kooky and kind of like black, I think a cattle dog of some sort, but they were an odd pair of these two. And I just thought, I wonder if Zuko resents Lulu for being like so people pleasey and everyone loves Lulu. Like I was loving Lulu. And then I thought, you know, it's probably a lot of pressure for Lulu too.

Like some days she wants to just be a little runt. And which one was the golden retriever? Lulu. Lulu. Yeah. And she just was the golden retriever? Lulu. Lulu. Yeah, and she just was like, I'm the star pupil, but she was- Of course. I mean, golden retrievers are just full of life.

And it's hard not to just love all of them immediately because they also come with that good energy. Such good energy. Yeah, but then Zuko, I was like, there's depth there and Zuko needs support too. I went to Runyon Canyon yesterday and was around a ton of dogs. Met two golden retrievers, met a three-legged palm. What's a palm? Oh, a Pomeranian. Okay. Do you bring Biggie on these walks or no? No, it was too hot for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These dogs were a little bit meatier, except for the, well, the three legged Palm was just taking a little, uh,

tiny trip in his mom's arms, but obviously not hiking. Yeah. But yeah, there's something about being around a bunch of dogs. Is Runyon Canyon where you met Jeff Probst? Or you see celebrities there, right? You're hiking around, you see- There's two canyons that are popular. Runyon's one and Freiman is the other one. Okay. Runyon's the Hollywood, in the middle of Hollywood,

Freiman's more the valley, Studio City. Okay, I think I gotta go to Freiman's. Freiman, so Runyon is like more uphill, more inclined, a little bit tougher. It's a bit more sceny, I think. Oh, okay, yeah. Freiman, you'll see people here and there, but there's an uphill part, but it's not as crazy. I love the idea of a sceny hike.

That would be Runyon, yeah. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go to Runyon then. I wanna see probes. I don't do Runyon very often, but I went there to meet a bunch of dogs. I love it. Yeah. Good to start your day walking around in the sun.

It sure is. That's the beauty of LA. It has a bad rap, but a lot of sunshine. A lot of sunshine. Hiking's very popular. No one walks a bad rap, but a lot of sunshine. Hiking is very popular. No one walks in the city, but they will hike. Yes. And a lot of nice little coffee shops. I had a corn cake, I want to say for breakfast.

It was like a corn bread muffin, but inside was marmalade, orange marmalade. Ooh, man, there's a lot of good coffee shops in Silver Lake. Hell yes. I never say hell yes, but felt right in the moment. Hell yes. And you can walk till you're walkable where you are? I actually did take an Uber to the reservoir. I could have walked, but I took an Uber black to the walk.

An Uber black? You are hilarious that you take these fancy Uber's places. I don't know why I do it. It's a habit I have to break. They're expensive. Well, sometimes when you look on the app, they're the same price. Oh, well, if it's the same price, then yeah, but.

You know what I like? If you're just going like 10 minutes down the road, you don't only need an Uber Black. No, it's psychotic, but I think what I like about it is they wait for 15 minutes. And you're never ready. I'm never ready. I always, I'll book my Uber when I'm still in bed in my pajamas. Oh my God. And then I'm like, shit, I got it. And then I get up, I rinse and then I-

I'm paying for you to wait for me, buddy. And I always have to message them going, be right there. And they go, okay. And then I'm paying for you to wait for me, buddy. And I always have to message them going, be right there. And they go, okay. And then I get it and I always say, thanks for waiting. And they go, okay. Yeah, I'm very like, I'm very time oriented. Yeah, that's why you're so successful. I know the exact amount of time I need to do everything.

And so I usually have it pretty mapped out in my head when I need to call the OOBS. Do you get like guilt if you don't have, like if you have an evening where you're doing fuck all, do you have like a feeling in your stomach like I should be using this time? No, I mean, as busy as I am and like as crazy as my schedule gets, I love a sit on the couch, do nothing night.

Yes. And I or a Sunday afternoon, I do not sweat it. I'm like, I hadn't done anything. I don't care. I'm in my sweatpants. That's so nice. Because I know how hard I work. And I'm like, I know I'm not lazy. Yeah. But I will have a lazy day here and there because I need it. That's really nice.

I saw Sinners the other day. Oh, yeah? Loved it. Everyone said such great things about it. Well, I like vampires. I'm a vampire guy. There's something horny about vampires. Oh, so horny.

So horny, right? Yeah. And the person I saw it with did not know it was a vampire movie. So like half an hour into it, or 40 minutes when it was revealed to be vampires, she know it was a vampire movie. So like half an hour into it or 40 minutes when it was revealed to be vampires, like she thought it was just a Western. So she was like, what the fuck?

Which was pretty juicy watching that. It is important to know it's about vampires going into it. Or let it surprise you. Or a real twist. Yeah. Hey, should we see what our listeners wanna ask us today? Yellow cowboy. Yeah, let's do it.

Hi, handsome. This is Katie from Portland, Oregon. I'm a veterinarian and a big animal lover, and I know you all love animals too. I love hearing about Kitty City, Biggie with his big sparkling lively eyes, and the little tiny pups that May had recently. My question for you is, if you could be reincarnated as any animal, what would you wanna come back as and why? Oh, incredible question.

Incredible. Incredibly. Well, I have a theory that people are either birds or dogs. Really? I think of the handsome world, I think maybe Tig might be a bird. I could do that. I think we're dogs maybe.

Nah, Tig has sort of Australian cattle dog energy too sometimes, but so I think dog. And I think having just spoken about golden retrievers, like I think that'd be pretty good because the thing about golden retrievers is they take the love they're given and they're thrilled about it. Like, I don't think they're given and they're thrilled about it.

I don't think they're ever going, ugh, I need, I wish I had no needs and I could just wait for somebody to get home and then shower them with love and not have any needs of my own. And Golden Retrievers seem oblivious to bad stuff. Oh, they're not stressed about climate change. They're too blessed to be stressed. Too blessed to be stressed.

Yeah, Golden Retriever or like a dolphin would be cool, but I think they've got the weight of the world on their shoulders, they're too smart. What about you? I mean, I know this is weird, because Biggie is right here. He really does have the best life. I would say Pomeranians in general

seem to be well taken care of. Their owners are obsessed with them. There's few times I've seen a Pomeranian not being doted on by many. How funny that we both chose animals based on receiving constant love from humans. The only bummer is that dogs don't live long enough. That's fine, like let me shuffle off the mortal coil when it's all become too much, you know? Like I just today was talking to someone and being like, shuffle off.

I don't know that I fear, I mean, obviously, God forbid, like don't wanna perish, but I do, I've read enough mystical things and seen enough people who've had near-death experiences and stuff that I'm like, I think it is just a huge relief and you get absorbed into some universal love and peace. And I'm like, I think that'll be fun.

The sadness comes from the people you leave behind. That's true, because they're still dealing with that grief. Yeah, but yeah, so I don't mind. Golden Retriever is what, 14 years? 12 to 14. Yeah, isn't that not enough? I don't know. Do we really need more than that? Palms can be anywhere from 13 to like 19. Really? Yeah, it just depends. Oh, fuck. You know what would be cool though? Biggie's 11. Oh, cutie. You know those giant tortoises? There was one that was around when Darwin was around, and it lived like 100 years, this tortoise. That's definitely too long.

But maybe time moves at a different speed when you're just lumbering around. Yeah, I don't want to live. I would like somewhere in the middle. Yeah. But I don't know. There's this Greenland shark that has been alive since Napoleonic times. It's like 400 years old. It's still alive now. Yeah, no thanks. No thanks, right?

No thanks. We're just blind and floating through the ocean, kind of confused. Even with humans, when they're like, Martha just celebrated her 108th birthday, I'm like, no. Really? Don't want that. Yeah, yeah.

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Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. The only thing is there's a lot of books I'd like to read. So if I can still read and understand books I could just hang on for another couple decades just reading and catching up. Even if I'm sitting in a chair. All right. Well, let's hear Katie's answer. Yes, please. Unlike folks who choose a majestic wild animal like an eagle or a dolphin, I'm not interested in coming back as a creature who has to really work for a living.

I would choose to be a pampered house cat. These cats have it so freaking good. They sleep 18 hours a day. They have a full staff caring for their every need, often overfeeding them. Some even have a custom catio to enjoy. A catio. They've really got it made. So I choose a house cat. Katie is in line with our thinking.

They sleep 18 hours a day, for real? That seems like a lot, 18? I've never had a cat, so I don't know. All I know is that they seem to really come alive at night when you're trying to sleep and it's just these these irregular patterns of like, dugga dugga dugga, dugga dugga dugga across the house. And don't they jump on their owners' heads and stuff

during the middle of the night? Right, well that's the thing they say, that it could fall asleep on your head and suffocate you. Oh. Well this is why I'm dog. Yeah. I'm dog. Yeah, Biggie just saddled up to me and and lays Like he just like lays in my nook and your nook my nooks

You mean like like where my knee like, you know where your knees kind of been Oh, he'll like dig into there or like if I'm on my side, he'll dig into like my back. Yeah Yeah, I love it. Love it. Let's hear another one. Hi, handsoms. This is Lori from New Jersey. I listen to you guys all the time. Love you.

My question is about nature versus nurture. So I found out in my late 40s that I was conceived via sperm donor, big family secret, all sorts of messy as you can imagine, and have since met and gotten quite close with some of my dibblings or donor siblings as we say. And it's been shocking to me with my sister in particular how similar we are.

I'm just curious if you have any thoughts about nature versus nurture and the importance of DNA. I think you and I can get to the bottom of this. Yeah, we're gonna have all the answers. Yeah, I mean that's fascinating. I mean that's an age old question, right? Yeah, that is super interesting. And you read about those like twins separated at birth

who have identical lives. I mean, I do think there are many characteristics that you share because of DNA, but you also hear of like the siblings, you know, separated having wildly different lives based on economics and if the parents were loving or together or there was an alcoholic in the family. I mean, that stuff definitely shapes you as well. To me it's like a combo. I don't know that you can just be based off one thing. A complex combo of the two. And each quality is probably different. Like maybe there's like medical conditions that are largely nature, but maybe there's personality things that are purely nurture. I mean, I think about sexuality a lot and I'm like,

I tend to think that there's so much cultural stuff that like, they studied a thousand different animal species and they found bisexuality in all thousand species. And like, and I've met people who are, who say, yeah, if I was growing up now, I'm at a hundred percent, I would have been, I would have been bi growing up and explored that part of myself, but I just, you know what I mean? I don't know.

Like what was acceptable in certain times is what sort of was more prevalent. Yeah, like that's why sometimes like born this way feels like kind of a cop out sometimes because it's kind of being like, please, please let me live because I was just born this way and I can't help it. It's like, well, what if it is,

there's an element of it that is a choice as well. Yeah, but that's probably why there's a spectrum of it, right? Like some people were just like, this is me, this is who I've been since day one. And other people are like, I kind of, as I've gotten older, I'm curious about this thing. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, different versions of that, but.

So we're saying nature and nurture. I mean, I just think there's no way to not have a combo of the two like You know, I've also seen situations where people Who've had to overcome a lot have like Perseverance or people that were given everything Sometimes are like a little lazy again. These are all like

generalizations Again, these are all generalizations. These circumstances shape you as far as how you approach the world. Yeah, it seems like the general answer is it's a complex combo of the two. But I'm interested in Lori's story and meeting biological part relatives and finding similarity. That's super interesting. That's super interesting. Should we hear what she has to say? I would say for me, what I've realized is that

they both come into play. You cannot negate one or the other. And I guess the importance of one or the other maybe depends on your family upbringing. I had a fantastic childhood with my family, and I think I very much benefited from the nurture of my environment. But I also really appreciate now

that I have this amazing connection with my sister with whom I share half of the DNA from our sperm donor dad. Thanks you guys so much. Love you, bye. Thanks, Lori so much. Love you. Bye. Thanks, Lori. You ever seen those videos of twins in the womb and they're like playing hide and seek in the womb? No. I don't think I've seen that. One of them is like hiding behind some uterine lining. It's insane. And they're like playing

games with each other. And then when they're born, they continue playing those same games and stuff. Oh, wow. Is it prevalent? not that we're experts on twins, but that one's kinda like, Stronger than the stronger one. I mean, we'd have to ask. More dominant one, and then that kinda continues. That's what I've always thought,

but maybe that's like a 90s belief. I don't know, there's like, sometimes you see these twins or there's like this like popular good looking one and then this quiet nerdy one. Yeah. And I feel like the one was like the boss in the womb. Yeah, getting all the nutrients and stuff. I mean, I'd be kind of pissed if I was a baby

and I was like, this is supposed to be my time to like germinate and then I'm gonna share this little thing with someone else. Yeah, I don't know a lot of twins, I guess. Yeah. In my own personal life to really we got to ask Max and Finn. We're like, which one of you that we get Max and Finn down to ask questions.

We're like, and are you resentful that your womb time was shared? They're like, what? We just wanna play baseball. Well, this was an absolute blast. It sure was, May. I'm glad you started your morning off in such a pleasant way. Yeah, yeah.

And I have to do that. I have to say yes to when people invite me for like a coffee and just get out of the house and do that. Yeah. I think that's a yeah, my going to be my motto moving forward is being open and saying yes to fun, new opportunities and just, you know, seeing what life has to offer. I'm gonna hold you to that. I'm gonna hit you up with some invites. That's right, man. I'll keep firing them at you. Please do. We're gonna hang soon.

Do you play foosball? I mean, I know how to play. I don't, I'm. Okay. I will get, I will get back into it for you. I got a table, so. You did get a table? I did get a table. I wanna have a tournament.

You know, the proper. I love you living your bachelor life. I really am trying my best, but then deep down I just wanna be a golden retriever waiting for someone to come home. Aww, didn't you have people over for your, I was out of town so I'm not offended for your birthday. I did, I did indeed. And how was that?

Was that your first big? Yeah, it was my did, I did indeed. And how was that? Was that your first big? Yeah, it was my first, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'll talk about it in the main part, but it was a real blast. Thomas came, we played some foosball. Yeah, it was fun. Well, we'll hear more about it

when we're with our friend Tig. Yeah, I had a touch of the old birthday depression, but powered through with all the pals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad you were surrounded by your friends. 100%. Even the skunks came to visit late at night.

The big bulbous boy and the little baby one. That's cause you guys had food around. Oh, you're right actually, yeah. But then I'm kind of wanna, I mean this is a slippery slope but I wanna leave, I wanna attract the animals. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, my friend.

I'm like, I wanna leave garbage around. No, Dr. Doolittle, we're not doing that, not at your house. No, you're right. Because they won't get out of control. Yeah, there'd be coyotes. Just enjoy the ones that are coming in naturally. Yeah, welcome them, but don't encourage them.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, please keep submitting your questions. We're loving these. Go to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod, drop us a line, and keep telling your pals about the pod and let us know what you want to hear from us and how you envision the future of handsome. That's right. And if you see us walking around the reservoir, please approach us. Please. I love being in the wild and someone telling me to keep it handsome.

It's pretty fun. It's the best. It's the best, yeah. Well, good to see you, pal. Good to see you. I hope everybody has an awesome day. Yeah, me too. I hope that too.

And I hope everybody remembers too. day. Yeah, me too. I hope that too. And I hope everybody remembers too. Keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulette. us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check that when you go shopping at the mall and then stop for food at the food court that you remember to grab your shopping bags before heading into the car. Do not let this very specific scenario happen to you. Checking first is smart so check all-state

first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all-state. Savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability. All All state fire and casualty insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, I'm Jessi Klein. And I'm Liz Feldman, and we're the hosts of a new HeadGum podcast called Here to Make Friends. Liz and I met in the writer's room on a little hit TV show called Dead to Me, which is a show about murder. But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their

40s. Which can really happen, and it has happened to us. It's true. Because life has imitated ours. And then it imitated life. Time is a flat circle. And now. We're making a podcast that's about making friends.

And we're inviting an incredible guest like Vanessa Bear. Wow, I have so much to say. Lisa Kudrow. Feelings, they're a nuisance. Nick Kroll. I just wanted to say hi. Matt Rogers. I'm like on the verge of tears. So good.

So good to join us and hopefully become our friends in real life. Yeah, take it out of the podcast studio and into real life. Along the way, we are also going to talk about dating. Yep. Spousing. True. Parenting.

Career-ing. And why we love film. And Louisa and It's the Greatest Movie of All Time. Shouldn't need to be said. No, we said it. It's just a true thing. So please subscribe to Here to Make Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Friday.