Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #42

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

Mae and Tig talk about making big entrances and epic travel fails on a splashy, far-roaming Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check that when you're packing your electronics for a work trip, you also make sure you pack all the cords, wires, adapters, cables, and wires you need to ensure that those electronics work properly. Checking First is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Chattin' with friends on the handsome pot. Pretty Little Episode. Welcome. You go ahead, May. Tell them who you are. Well, I'm May Martin.

And I am Tig Notaro, and we are the hosts today of a pretty little episode. Of this gorgeous little bite size app. Yes. And what people don't know is the scrambling that was going on before we started. I'm flustered. I, we've had tech problems. I don't know what's going on, but as long as you can hear me, I would say you had tech problems.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's infuriating. Like I wish we were doing this through like a tin can microphone with a string. It'd be more reliable. I mean, we kind of are at this point because your mic broke my my broke.

Yeah, I was using it last night. I recorded a little song. Wow. Well, I guess you rock. I recorded a little song. Wow. Well, I guess you rocked it out a little too hard. Yeah, I blew it. I was scrambling too. As you know, Max and Finn are in the middle of a massive baseball tournament. Oh, my God.

I mean, I hate to be the cliche parent that is like, it's baseball all the time, but it is baseball all the time. Do these games like dominate the topic of conversation in the house? Oh my, it's yes. And then the Dodgers are on the TV and then they're out throwing the ball to each other. And then they go to practice and they're on the rec league,

they're on the travel team, they're on the all-star team. So there's like so many different teams and practices, and yeah, and then their grandfather is a coach on one of the teams, so it's very, very crazy. I can't believe there's an all-star team. Yeah. Is that like all the MVPs from the different teams? You know, I'm not the person to ask.

I just today yelled, hit a grand slam. I don't know who it was, Fin or Max up to bat. And Stephanie turned and said, I'm surprised you even know what that means. Do you know what that means? And I said, I'm surprised you even know what that means. Do you know what that means? And I said, I actually heard somebody say what that means today, uh, which means the bases are loaded. And if he had, like, I guess if he hit it, I get, then everybody runs.

So I was standing yesterday. Uh, I was at the park, you know, the, the dream. I was standing yesterday. I was at the park. You know, the the games are going on. I was standing right at the fence watching. And this dad came up to me and he said, Hey, Tig, is it is it the fourth? And I said, Oh, I don't know what's going on. I don't know at all what's going on, even though I'm there all the time. Right. I still to this second don't know if he what's going on, even though I'm there all the time. Right. I still to this second don't know if,

he must've met the fourth inning. I wouldn't, I would've been like, it's May 24th. Yeah. Yeah, right. So, but this was yesterday, so he didn't mean May 24th. But who knows when this will air, right? But so yeah, I just, I know when people hit the ball, I know when people catch the ball,

I know when they're running, I know roughly when the game starts and when it ends. I just can't relate to the feeling of like, they must have them being excited to go and play a sport. Like when I was a kid and had soccer practice or whatever, I would just dread it till the moment I got there, like putting my knee pads on or whatever. Shin guards.

Yep, shin guards, knee pads, all that. But they love it. They love getting all dressed up and. Yeah, they love it. And all their little friends are there, some from school, some that they've made through the league and, or league. yeah, they just, they have a blast but it's pretty, it's just nonstop.

It's nonstop. But when baseball season ends, it becomes basketball season and then it doesn't, it does not end. Stephanie said there's three months in the year when there's no baseball going on and that is completely dominated by basketball. Right, right, right. I played soccer and I was very into it.

I was excited to put my knee pads on and my shin guards and my cleats. I loved getting new cleats and I remember getting a new pair of cleats and my mother telling me, don't wear these on the cement because it will wear the whatever spikes down. So I was wearing my cleats after getting the new pair. I was so excited playing in my yard. And then I wanted to go to my friend's house. So guess who crawled across the street?

On all fours? Yes. Oh my God. Because if you know me well, you know that one of my favorite childhood books was, wow, what is her name? Do I know me well? Amelia Bedelia, who took things very literally.

And I think I must have clearly related to that because I took things and I still do. I take things very literally. Right, like if someone says hop in the shower, you're hopping. Yeah, a little bunny appears. But yeah, I took it so literally and seriously and I crawled across the street.

So dangerous to be by the rock. I know, I know. Oh man. Anyway, so that was my scrambly day. Well, I haven't scrambled too. I woke up, I had a massage. Oh, that's not so scrambly. Yeah, kind of the opposite,

but I had to rush there like 9.30 in the morning. Then I went to this place. Why did you have to rush? Because I woke up too late, you know me. And then I went to this place, the Pixel Rooms in Echo Park that you've got to take Max and Finn.

It's like fun games and activities. And there's a room where it all lights up and then you play the floor is lava. You have to avoid the red and you have to step on the blue and the green and it's such a workout. It's so fun. And this is with kids as well? Well, there was a birthday party there of 20 kids, but I had my private time in the room with not by myself.

That'd be bleak, but with my friend Joe and old Joe, old Joe. Old Joe. I was sweating. And so this is for adults or children? Yeah, and it's one of the only activities I've done that is truly fun for both. They also have a laser maze there where you have to not touch the lasers, but it's super fun. And there's a soundtrack that someone's designed

for the laser maze that's like, laser maze. But I would listen to it. If I had it on Spotify, I'd be groovin'. And what is this place called? Pixel Rooms. Pixel Rooms, okay. I don't work for them, this is not an ad, but I've been so many times that the guy,

I'm on a first name basis, the guy's like, I'll just text you if there's a new game. That's hilarious. And so, yeah, Max and Finn watched The Floor is Lava. I haven't seen them watch it probably in the past year maybe, but they play it in their rooms. Oh.

I'll hear them playing The Floor is Lava. Perfect, yeah, they would love this, yeah. Okay, this is good to know. Yeah. Wow, well, should we Should we get a question from our listeners? I'd love to one of our listeners one of our lovely wonderful handsome Pretty little listeners. Yes, please Hello handsom's my name is Anna

I'm calling you not calling you recording from Seattle, Washington and I love the show and all three of you and I'm calling you, not calling you, recording from Seattle, Washington. And I love the show and all three of you. And the only one I haven't seen live is May and I have to fix that. Anyway, my question for you is, just went to a baseball game with my son and thinking about walk-on music.

So if you were in a sport or some event where there was walk-on music for you, what would your walk-on song be? Wow, so timely. Is that the work of our producer, Mr. Thomas? That was remarkable. Yeah. Also, I love her energy.

Isn't it crazy? You can tell someone's energy right away from, I'm just like, what a fun person. She also sounds Southern. Oh, really? Yeah, I would like for her to get in touch and let me know if I'm right. Do you have standup walk-on music?

Well, I guess if you're touring or something, you choose your walk-on. Yeah, or sometimes I'll just walk out. Sometimes I like to surprise the audience and then just appear. Because a lot of times I don't have an opener because I wanna use the whole hour and a half to kind of fumble around with material. But you wander out when the lights are still up.

Or not when the lights are up, but like when, you know, people are kind of way the lights go down and there's some cheering and yeah and they're anticipating a voice or something or an introduction and I'll just walk out and then they can add it up it's me I like that but when I was performing in Canada over the past you know whenever I was there filming Star Trek, they started bringing me up on stage to some hilariously bad, like not bad meaning not at all right for me. Like gangster rap?

No, it was more like I've got, like I got the power or something like that, or you know, I've got the power. Yeah, so or you know that I don't even know if that was the song but it was something like that and at first I was like oh that's not quite right and then I thought oh that's really funny actually to start my show out with that kind of energy and then I just come out like Eeyore. Yeah hi. Hello. I've gone out before for a while I was come out like Eeyore. Yeah, hi. Hello. I've gone out before, for a while I was going out

to One Direction, Steal My Girl, because it's so upbeat and joyful. But the lyrics are about being 16 and being in love with a 16 year old girl. So it doesn't really work because they were teens when they wrote it. But what else? Oh, it'd be good to go out to like Queen,

We Will Rock You or something. And then really milk it, like let it play while you're standing there, get the whole audience going doon doon tch, doon doon doon tch. To tell jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then walk off when the song's done. It would be good to go out to like the,

like a theme song, like a really, like the Friends a theme song like a really like the friends theme song or really well known existing themes or like the um i was telling max and finn they should go out to jingle bells yeah something incongruous yeah well they uh a mother another mother on the team put together a playlist of everyone's walk-on songs. Oh, nice. Yeah, and yeah, Max and Finn, of course, walk out to Eminem and Kendrick Lamar. They do? Yeah. Oh my God, I would love to see that.

Yeah, it's pretty cute. ["Running Club"] Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check what time the running club starts their weekly runs so you can be there on time. You don't wanna be racing to catch up with the group if you can help it.

Checking First is smart so check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois Should we hear Anna's answer? We should mine would be I got the by Labby Sifre And I don't know which part of it because it's a song that's got kind of multiple parts. I got yeah, that's my answer Love the show. Thank you so much for taking my question. Bye. God, music's good, isn't it? Music is good. I don't think I mentioned

my walk on, did I? You said, oh, I got the power, but that's not my walk on. But you know, it's good. I've walked on to start me up by the stones. Oh, yeah. Great choice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Anna. Yes, Anna. That was wonderful. And what else we got, Mr. Thomas? Hello, handsome pod. This is Charlie from Fesha in the UK. And my question to the three of you is,

what is the biggest fail that you've made while you've been traveling? What have you done that's made you feel a little bit silly in the moment, but you can laugh about now? I was like giggling at Charlie. It's hilarious. They're like, it sounds like she's about to laugh so hard. I know. Yeah, she has some real joyful energy. What did she, was she asking a travel fail? Yeah, travel fail.

I can think of a lot of yours. I, you've like lost luggage. You've broken femurs. Well, I didn't break a femur. I fractured my wrist and then I ended up on crutches because somebody cut me off with their gigantic suitcase. Um, but I, I have, I have a good, um, travel fail. Okay.

Again, lost luggage. I was in Ireland. I'm in Ireland. I've lost lost luggage. I was in Ireland. I'm in Ireland. I've lost my luggage. I have to stand in this long line to talk to somebody at the counter, fill out information. And I finally get up there. And now there's a line behind me, of course.

Yeah. I'm talking to the woman and she's going through all these different questions and then she says, are you a firety? And I said, excuse me. And she said, are you a firety? And I was like, I was so stunned and I was also mortified because there's an entire line of people waiting behind me.

And I was like, on what planet are you asking me this question? And she's like, are you a firety? And I'm thinking, okay, well I was on a long flight. I mean, who knows what's happened. And it turned out she's asking my age. But also what? Because filling out, I have no idea. I have no idea.

Something to do with the paperwork. But I of course didn't hear it that way. And I was just like, I, I really did not know how to answer this woman. I was like, no, you're not farty. And I'm like, no, it was such an embarrassing misunderstanding. Are you farty as the misunderstanding. Are you party is the best. Are you party? Oh, my God.

Sure. I don't know. I've been asleep for hours. I just landed. I just want my luggage. Why are you asking me this? That's pretty good. Did you get the luggage?

We say I lost my luggage. They lost your luggage. Yeah, they lost. They lost my luggage. That they lost your luggage. Yeah, they lost my luggage. That's a good point. Thank you for taking that off my plate. Yeah, don't carry that with you. That's not your burden. No.

I can only think of my parents' travel fail, but I was in the car. I was four and my brother was eight, and I remember it vividly that we were on this trip through Europe and we were driving and the big debate was should we pull over and get a hotel or are we gonna make it to get the ferry from Brindisi to Corfu and my mom was like we should stop. Wait where were you what are these places? We were in Italy and we're gonna take a a ferry to Greece. Oh, okay. And driving through

the night, two small kids in the back, like, and my mom's just like, James, let's stop. Let's just get a room somewhere. And he's like, Nope, we're going to make it. We're going to make it. And as we arrived, we see the ferry like pulling away. The tension in the vehicle, like I remember it to this day, and I don't think they spoke. We ended up sleeping in the car for like six hours and then getting like the first morning ferry and they did not speak to each other on the ferry either. They were, my mom was so mad, but I'll remember it forever. My poor dad, like, I mean, also he should have stopped, but.

Now, was there an actual altercation between the two or did they go immediately into silence? immediate silence, complete silence, but apoplectic rage in the car, but like not a word spoken and just me and my brother wide eyed knowing that something fucked up has happened. And you didn't know it was the fairy. No, we knew, we knew it. Oh, okay. Oh my gosh, that is hilarious. Yeah. That's good. I bet if I brought it up, they would still,

it would still be a sore point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. Oh wait, should we hear Charlie's answer? We should. I bet Charlie's gonna be giggling. And my answer to that question is, about seven years ago, I was backpacking around Europe and saw on the map, oh, Vienna.

I thought, oh, people speak highly of that city. I'll go visit it. So I hopped on my little train with my backpack, ended up in Vienna. I was there for a few hours, and I thought, where are all these canals that people talk about and what I had done ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls and everything in between is confuse Vienna with Venice. I wasn't in the right country was I? Very silly.

Oh Charlie. Oh Charlie. Classic Charlie. If we know Charlie and we do, I mean, what else would you expect? Right. But with that attitude, how could anything ever really be wrong for long? Because you're just like, well, I got my backpack, I jump back in the train and I head back to Venice. My friend, my childhood friend, was, this was before 9-11, when things were way more lax. And she was overseas and she had gotten on a flight and she drank too much, fell asleep, something like that, and woke up, she had a layover

and she was supposed to get off and she slept through the layover on the plane and woke up as the flight was taking off to another country. And she said she was running up the aisle to the front of the plane while it was, she was like, ah, ah, ah, ah. Anyway. Have you ever heard that Molly Shannon story? It's in her autobiography and she was telling it on,

you know, talk shows for a while, but that, yeah, back when things were lax enough, she and her friend, they were 11 years old, just walked onto a flight and they said, they went to the airport for this purpose and were like, we're gonna go to New York. And then they just said, oh yeah, our parents are on the plane. And they, the woman was like go to New York. And then they just said, oh yeah, our parents are on the plane.

And the woman was like, okay, fine. And then they just got on the plane, they went to New York and they had like $10 with them. And then they called her dad, I think from a pay phone and we're like, we're freaking out. And I think he was like, I can't remember, but it's a great story, but very home alone. Wow. That is fascinating fascinating those are the days

mm-hmm yeah all right well that was not just fun but quick man that just keep sending in your your questions please we love hearing them. Yes, we do. Go to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod and leave your cues. That's an abbreviation for question. Oh, I was going to say, I don't know what that is. And yeah, do you have anything coming up that you want to plug? I sure do. June 13th, I'll be at Largo in Los Angeles. June 14th, I'll be at Eureka Springs Pride. June 14th, I'll be at Eureka Springs Pride,

but I think that's basically sold out. June 21st, Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. August 17th, get this, Westampton Beach, New York. Whoa. I have two shows August 23rd in Provincetown, Massachusetts. The first show is sold out. I think there are some tickets left for the second show. The things I really want is for people to come to these three big music shows I'm doing June 10th in San Francisco, June 12th in Portland and June 13th in Vancouver.

If you go to maymartinmusic.com, I'll tell some stories, but mainly I'm going to be playing music and doing meet and greets. And I'd love to see you. Tell your friends about Handsome. Share episodes, rate, review, subscribe also to YouTube because you get to see Biggie. You get to see Fortune's Gams. You get to see May's face. OK, OK, that's that's a sale right there.

And then you also get to see me counting this list of things you get to see, right? Yeah, exactly. Okay, and then what, until next time? Keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow

us on social media at handsomepod. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check and see if your local area has any fun outdoor events coming up this summer. There's nothing like spending time outside with the family enjoying a strawberry festival or crafts fair. Checking First is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.