Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #54

Episode Date: August 29, 2025

Mae and Tig answer your questions about friends you've never met and messy situations, on a brand new Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check and make sure that if you have a coffee table, you get some coffee table books to display. And don't forget the coffee table book about coffee tables. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate Fire, and Cattle.

Phaughty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome Pot. Chatting the friends on the Handsome Pot. Pretty little episode. Well, here we are. Tigg, you didn't hear the... No. You didn't hear it again? No, I don't hear the...

The theme song? No. No. Man, it's some... It's something's up. Is it still as good as I remember? In fact, better, better than ever. It's so weird that I am the one that can't hear it.

But either way, welcome to a pretty little episode. Welcome. You're looking very pretty. Oh, thank you. I told you I had to take a shower because, well, because I like to clean myself. But our hot water has been out every day, and our handyman has to crawl into our attic and put some code into our hot water heater. I don't know what's going on.

It's like the fact that we are so advanced in our technology and yet you got a guy crawling up in your attic. For sure. And it is insane when you think of like water in its natural state on the planet and that some guy is crawling into my attic with a code. Yeah. You know, it's so weird. Yeah.

It's so bizarre. But you look clean. I am clean. I'm back in Los Angeles. You know, I was just telling Thomas before this episode, it was so nice to see all of the incredible response to the Kristen Schall episode where we talked about the afterlife. And it basically turned into a tribute to Andrea. And I don't know. Today's August 7th that we're recording.

Yeah. And it's been a few weeks since Andrea passed, and I have to say, I'm, you know, as grief goes, it goes up and down and sideways. And I definitely feel like a heaviness in my chest today of that. Like, God, it's, it's, you know, as far as this lifetime, it's done. It's so not linear grief. that's yeah that um but sneaks up the reaction blew me away like so many people were saying that they were crying and that they were then doing a deep dive into Andrea's work and that's what I love here yeah I cried again listening to it like yeah it's yeah it was really nice yeah I just

find comfort and um you know I I know that a lot of people when they know of an artist they kind of have that pride of they were mine or I knew them in the beginning and and um and sometimes and I actually haven't seen this um with Andrea but I know that sometimes people feel like oh sure jump on the bandwagon in the end or and it's like I just all are welcome on the bandwagon it's like for sure let's get more eyes on that I mean how great that um Andrea's poetry is just spreading, like, wildfire. So anyway, that's very comforting, but it's, yeah, it sneaks up. But you're right, it is funny when someone's art really speaks to you and you feel, I mean,

I, like, shared a thing on, it was Elliot Smith's birthday yesterday. And I shared a thing, like, have your birthday, Elliot Smith. I'm like, I didn't know this man, but like, it feels so personal to me. Yeah. And I just want people to think about Elliot Smith. on his birthday you know absolutely yeah yeah i get it yeah but um how are you doing i'm well thanks i'm uh i went to the gym uh this morning i've been playing a lot of foosball i'm like i thought you're gonna say flute i'm like oh my god don't tempt me i will buy a flute of course of course

why wouldn't you be playing the flute i wouldn't be that shocked i'm gonna order one can we put that on the list, Thomas, a flute solo? Oh, my God. It would only make sense for me to tell somebody that May has picked up the flute. And I just picture you in your backyard, fluting around. Fluting to the menagerie of animals. Like, I saw the possum last night, the big boy. Oh, my God, he's so big and beautiful.

Well, you know, in country music, the possum is the singer George Jones. No. Yeah. Okay, that's what I got to learn to woo the possum. Yeah. Yeah, you should check out George Jones. I will. The thing with possums is they're so cute from the front when they're all nervous and then you see that tail and you think, I'm not so sure. You're a rat. You're a big rat. Yeah. Yeah. But wait, you're doing well, but you've been. I'm like gearing up for this vacation in Lake Arrowhead. Yeah. But I'm having a really hard time like turning my brain off. I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to actually. chill. I'm like, I keep inviting people up there and I keep, I don't know, I feel like I should be doing stuff all the time. So I'm going to really try. And walk me through what your plan is exactly. Okay. Get up there. Go to the grocery store, stock the fridge with healthy goods. And what is

healthy goods in your mind? Are we talking diet Cokes, Marlboro lights? Yeah. Yeah, you know, frozen chicken fingers. Yeah. No, I'm going to try and cook and stuff. I have a barbecue. so I was going to do like salmon burgers and veggie burgers. I'm not going to do beef while I'm up there. And, you know, eggs and stuff, what do people eat? I don't know. I don't know. I'm just, you know, you don't have to eat what other people are eating.

I'm just curious, what are you going to do? So you're going to go to the grocery store. You're going to get some healthy food. Yeah, I'm going to set up like a painting station, set up a music station. and I'm going to, yeah, just like swim and hike. And there's a place that's like, I want to say it's like Santa's Village or something in Lake Arrowhead. It's like it's for children. Should you be telling people that Santa's village is up there?

He lives there up in the mountains. Wow. But they got all kinds of like ziplining and I love an activity. I'm going to do some activities. Wasn't there something where you're going to like unplug? there was something about that and that idea has unplugged well I have I bought this box that you lock your phone in for like five hours or as long as you want and you can't get it out for that amount of time I guess unless you have a hammer so I'm gonna yeah I'll try and do that last night I put on um Dr. Joe Dispenza hypnotism before I went to bed I just it was like a sleep thing I was asleep in five minutes and then it played through the night. I forgot to like, I don't know, set up my Spotify so it would stop playing. So I woke up 10 hours later and I've been subliminally messaged in my mind all night like

the world supports me. I am safe. I'm healthy. And I honestly feel great. Go back. You said you slept 10 hours? Yes, which I never do. I fell asleep 1130. I woke up 9.30. Wow. I would recommend it to Dr. Joe Dispenza. Okay. I'm scared if I go, him and he's like canceled or something but well if he gets you to sleep you know i mean that's how desperate i am for sleep i kind of don't care what's whispered in my ears are you still waking up crocodile on well i'm back on california time for a few days yeah and so this morning when i wake up yeah i guess kind of still i mean i woke up at 530 here which is 4 30 and Colorado.

Ooh. Or no, Colorado's later. No. So 5.30. So I guess I woke up 6.30. We were out. We went out last night because we came back.

Our whole family did. Max and Finn. Stephanie's dad. I did a benefit for the Dodgers catcher. Okay. And not for him, but he has this, it's called catching hope. and it's for, you know, kids less fortunate and Max and Finn got to meet the Dodgers.

Oh, my God. Yes, all of the big stars were there. And it was really, really cute. Did they have, like, some questions for the Dodgers? Or were they too shy? Well, that's, I mean, Max was a little like, he's, he was, he was fine. Finn was like he saw a ghost the whole night He was like

And one of the players said Are you shy and Finn nodded yes And we were like that is hilarious Finn talks incessantly He knows all the stats of the entire team You know what I mean Like he just Yeah

And he just shut down a little bit Yeah it was really He knew that about himself He's like yeah I'm shy Yeah, I'm sure. That's what this is. I had, you know, our mutual friend, Sabrina Jalise, so she, I mean, this is her story, but it cracked me out that last night, her kid who's seven woke, he's been taking to just going in the middle of the night and waking them both up and being like, hey, what's up?

And so last night he woke them up and he was like, can I get in bed? And they were like, Wolfie, we got to start, like go back to your own bed. So he goes back to his own bed and then they just hear him like crying. And he never, so Sabrina goes in, she's like, what's up? He's like, I just, I don't know. I want a hug and a kiss. And she's like, okay. And then he goes to bed.

And then in the morning, she was like, hey, what was all that about last night? Why were you so upset? And he goes, I thought you were offending me. I thought you were offending me. It's so good. What did he mean by that exactly? Who knows? Maybe he felt rejected.

And so he was like, oh, you don't want to hug me. I thought you were offending me. That's so cute. The reaction to thinking someone is offending you is just to go and cry hard and loud. Yeah. Yeah. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check and make sure that when you're going to see your favorite band, you get there early to check out the opener.

You never know when you're going to discover your new favorite band. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Well, should listen. Should we get some questions from the audience? I think we should. That was weird. Well, it's our listener audience. Yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah, you're in. Hi, Hansoms. This is Anna from Texas. My question is, is there anyone real or fictional that you've never met, but you feel like you're friends with them? And if so, who are they? And how have they impacted your life? Gosh, that's kind of perfect on the heels of talking about Andrea, because I feel like everyone that has gotten into Andrea feels like they know Andrea so deeply. Very much. Yeah. Yeah. That ties into what we were saying that like parasycial relationship, I guess, of like, or yeah, and just people that you know, I mean, maybe you've had this experience I have where like, yeah, there's people you admire, comedians you admire, and you think, we're aligned and then you meet them and you are and you become friends. Yeah. Or you meet people and you're like, whoa. Whoa. We are not aligned. Yeah. So the question is, somebody,

you know or somebody you've never met that you think you'd be friends with you're certain you'd be oh i thought she said somebody you do know or you don't know like a celebrity or someone who you think uh real or fictional i see a real or fictional person okay fictional is interesting yeah i'd like to think i'd get along with jc i'd like to think he would be you know meaning mr christ Mr. Christ would be receptive to me, I think. God, I've never thought of calling him Mr. Christ. Me neither, and I love it. I think I'm going to, have you heard that before, Thomas?

Mr. Christ? No, that's a first for me. I like it. Yeah, I think I just cracked something open with that. Mr. Christ. So you really feel like you would? Well, isn't that his whole thing? I don't know. I'm not a, I don't really follow Mr. Christ.

I just imagine him as profoundly kind. So I think I think we'd chat. But I, okay, more recently, because I've been watching overcompensating with Benito Skinner. Do you know him? He's a really funny comedian. And I've met him maybe once, but in my mind we were good friends because I just love his material. I listened to his podcast. I forgot that we weren't like close friends. And then I saw him at just for laughs in Montreal. And I was like, hey, what's on? he was like hi um but i really feel like he's just so funny and so did you talk more to him and and get a vibe either way the the best vibe yeah we didn't talk for long but um we have so many mutual friends too so i'm i'm like really creepily trying to muscle in there but you know i had a

i had an experience it's funny that this question came up because the person i'm about to mention I was just invited on his podcast When I go to New York next week Or whenever, yeah, next week Anderson Cooper Oh, no way I was on a late night talk show With him once

Or he had just taped his episode Well, whatever, our dressing rooms were across the hall from each other And I saw him just sitting in his dressing room And I just, I walked in. And I was like, hey, I mean, I mainly just really liked him and wanted to say hi. Yeah. But I did feel like, oh, right.

We don't know each other. But I really, really enjoyed following his news stories. And has it turned into a friendship or no? I've never met him other than that. It just was kind of that moment of, oh, Right. I'm just really familiar with him and he's just waiting to go on and tape this episode. And we just had a very brief hello and that was the end of that. And so I'm very much looking forward to going on his podcast. But he's definitely somebody that I've listened to a lot over the years. That's a good answer. And for some reason, not everyone that you listen to a lot. you feel that connection with.

Yeah, or even like someone like Paul McCartney, who I admire so much. I'm like, I'd rather just have a quick hello. I'm not sure that we'd become fast friends, and then that would be disappointing to me. But there's people that you're like, we have a similar sense. Yeah, like, I felt very nervous to meet Sarah Silverman because I was like, I really think we'd get along. And I was like, I want us to go well. It was at Largo. I was with Brett Goldstein. And after the show, we went up and he was like, oh, this is May. And we're chatting. Then I start telling this story. I don't know. I was nervous.

I start telling some long anecdote. And she's kind of listening. And then about halfway through, she goes, I'm sorry. I wasn't listening to any of that. I was like, awesome. That's great. But it was perfect. And now, of course, we're pals. Let's hear Anna's answer. My answer is obvious. It is all of y'all. I started listening when you only had three episodes out, and I've listened every episode since then. You all have joined me through many a time in my life. I started listening while I was pregnant with my first and only son. So you've joined me on many of walks being very pregnant in the heat of Texas. You've joined me on some sleepless nights with a little infant. You joined me on some sad, bummed out drives back to work, some family road trips, all kinds of stuff. I just really appreciate the silliness and the joy. We all need it so much.

I look forward to it every week. Thanks, guys. That's so nice to hear. Thanks, Anna. Yeah, really nice to hear because it is. such a fun thing too to get into the silliness and um but then again our listeners allowing us to flip over to the grief you know and to i've never had you've had podcasts for but i've never had like it's like a long-term relationship like where people really have been through yeah i had that

i was a big fan of my favorite murder i don't think i've ever met those two but i felt like They were my pals. Yeah. Yeah. Man, there's nobody sillier than Karen Kilgariff. Right. Nobody. She is a silly, silly person.

That's amazing. Oh, you know, just to go back, also Eddie Van Halen, I think when I was a kid, I was like, oh, man, we would be tight. Yeah. Yeah. Should we hear one more? Absolutely. Hi, Handsoms. This is Kristen from Vermont sitting here in my own kitty city on a Sunday afternoon.

Nice. I've been trying to get some chores done, and that has been what made me think of my question. Did you grow up in a dishes done after dinner and before bed kind of family, or was it more of a let them sit until whenever you're ready kind of thing? And second follow-up is, and what are you now? Is it the same? Is it different? I'm super curious to know. That's a good question.

Yeah, what's your, well, yeah. Um, my house was dishes done right after. Yeah. I would say I live in a house that is now currently dishes done right after eating. Um, however, I might take a beat longer than Stephanie. Like I like to, if something is really stuck on a pan or a dish, I like for it to soak. Yeah. Stephanie gets like as soon as the food is in her mouth everything's over to the sink and she's

immediately scrubbing whatever cheese or sauce or sweating scrubbing just like getting it off and getting it done and I really appreciate that but I don't think she appreciates you know the half hour to hour I take before I'm like but at other times like when we have dinner parties or something I am all about heading over there and doing whether it's my dishes or your dishes or if I'm at someone else's house I'm more than happy to get in there and get to it. Have you ever been at a dinner party where like something there's something said during the dinner party and then at the end of the dinner party like one person goes to do the dishes and someone else kind of comes and follows and you're like what was that about? Like there's a nice moment in the kitchen where you can

take a break from the dinner party. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I do enjoy a dinner party break. Yeah. I'm pretty untidy, but I'm not like filthy, but I definitely will forget and leave it. Sometimes next to the sink or in the sink, but maybe a couple hours. Yeah. And then load the dishwasher. But growing up, it was dishes done after dinner, for sure. Now, speaking of tidy, my eyes are terrible. What is that black lump with the white thing on top? That's a panda. No, that's a pile of clothes that I'm selling. I have like a bunch of clothes that I want to get rid of. And so my roommate, Matt, I said if he wants to sell them, he could keep the cash. I just don't want to. Oh, my God. I just had a great idea. What? On our website, we should have personal items for sale from Handsome. Yeah, and the proceeds go to

And we list them Charity, yeah I mean, I've got a lot of things like this Crystals I could You know, part with for sure All right Thomas, can we do personal items for sale From Handsome?

For sure. Oh my God, that'll be so funny. What are you going to sell, TIG? I think the first thing I'd sell is that Panda in May's house. He's not thought gathering anyone?

Honestly, you could have convinced me that was a panda. I cannot see anything. My office has kind of become like the dumping ground for stuff. I don't know what to do with. Same. Yeah. All right. Well, let's hear Kristen's dish routine.

Yeah. For me, I definitely grew up in a dishes done after dinner and before bed kind of family. And I think my parents would be moderately mortified at just how much of a let them sit person I have become as I've moved into my own adulthood. So thank you so much and love you guys. Keep it handsome. Thank you so much for sending your questions. Please keep sending them to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod. As always, we are bewildered that no one is asking for advice. No one wants us to weigh in about their love lives or careers, but feel free. Yeah, what do you have coming up, TIG?

Well, I have a bunch of local shows in Los Angeles and some in Toronto. September 27th, I will be in Biloxi, Mississippi at Beau Ravage Resort and Casino. Go to Tignotaro.com for all show and ticket information. And, yeah, just keep deep diving into Andrea Gibson's poetry and tell your friends, share one of your favorite episodes of Handsome with somebody that you think will enjoy this, I don't know.

Whatever this is. Yeah, whatever this show is. Yeah, I've got, I always have, like, local Los Angeles shows that I forget to plug. So check out my social media, and I'm at Largo at the end of the month. I'm not sure the date yet, but yeah, I'm always doing shows in L.A. Love it. Well, love it. Until next time.

Keep it. Keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tignitaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wulet. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check and see if you've got any photos you've taken recently that may be worth printing out and framing. Those photos are way more meaningful on your wall than on your phone. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate Fire, and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.