Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #56

Episode Date: September 12, 2025

Fortune and Mae give some pretty great advice about imposter syndrome, long-distance friendships, and driving test quips on another Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart. Unfortunately, not checking that your phone is charged before leaving the house is not smart. Like I learned the hard way when I found myself driving to a new place with no GPS and no charger in my car. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

All state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome Pot. Chatting the friends on the Handsome Pot. Pretty little episode. Welcome to a pretty little episode of the Handsome Pod. I'm one of your host, Mae Martin. And I'm your other one of your other one. of your host, Fortune Feimster.

How are you doing? I'm doing great. You look great. Thanks, pal. You're home from your adventure. I think you're home early. Yeah, I'm not, I'm going to go. I think I'll go back.

I just, I arrived seven minutes ago and like raced in and found my podcasting gear. And I feel, I got to say, it feels good to be back around all my objects and my things. Oh, that means you love your house. I do love my house. That's a nice feeling when you have a homey situation. Yeah, but I loved it up there too. Yeah. Are you having any time for yourself these days?

No. Sweet fortune. No, never. Never. I'm having a little time for myself here and there. Yeah. Where I've been going back to North Carolina quite a bit. Technically, it's, you know, for my mom.

Yeah. But I'm technically not working except for like our pod and my radio show on there. But it's been nice to like spend a lot of time with my family and with my mom and then just being in my hometown is really cute. Very grounding. Yeah, but I'm about to get crazy busy again. I know. Yeah. I'm doing a new TV show.

And this one's with Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon. Two of the grades. So the 15, 16, 17-year-old me, I mean, I'm dying right now because I love them both, but they were, I told Will, I was like, y'all are like my SNL cast when I was in high school. Like, yeah, I'm like, I did your bits for my tennis team and my friends. Yeah. And he's like, I'm going to garnish your wages for the first episode to pay me back for all those bits. I go do it. Yeah.

I think I'm going to also get in better shape because I play a caddy. It's a golf show. Yeah. And I will be carrying around. There's no way around it. I'm going to be carrying a real golf bag with golf clubs. Yeah, they're not going to make, like, foam golf clubs. Yeah.

I'm going to be sore as a motherfucker. You're going to be a caddy. Like, you're actually going to be a caddy for months. Yeah, because there's no golf. This isn't, it's, it's no golf cart situation. It is walking golf courses. I will be having to lather up in sunscreen. Yeah.

And my arm strength is going to be mighty. Yeah, I'm excited about that. It would be fun. Imagine getting a part where you have to really specifically train to do something. Like, you know that clip of, is it Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman? Oh, yeah. Takes her whip and she, with like, amazing precision, whips the heads off all these mannequins.

Yeah, that was cool. To have a reason to learn the whip, that would be great. That would be great. Mine's just going to be to carry a bag. Yeah, right. So not the best skill, but a skill. No. If anything, it's more practical than a whip. I wonder if I'll learn to play golf in the process.

Did caddies play? Caddies are like crazy knowledgeable. They're the ones that are telling the golfers. They're like a coach. Really? Yeah, they're the ones that are like, you need to use this club. They're giving them advice. They're like very well versed in golf.

I didn't know that. Yeah, it's not just a, I mean, at least at the pro level, it's not just like a kid being like, here's your golf club, sir. Yeah, it's not like the ball boys at tennis games. No, these guys can make like, they make like a percentage, I think, of your payday. So if you win like, say some big ass prize, they could get like a million bucks or something. Oh, really? Mm-hmm.

They get a percentage of your prize? At the high level. Yeah. Whoa. Because these guys are like, in. in-demand golf pros, like connoisseurs. Yeah. And your caddy can like make or break your entire game.

When I was like 13, I saw the legend of bagger vance in movie theaters with my friend Nicole. And we were, I mean, totally sober, hadn't discovered weed at that point. And I got this hysteria laughing every time they said the words bagger vance. Oh, really? Just the idea of the legend of bagger vans just was crack. I couldn't. I was crying. And then we got told off by other people.

in the movie theater to be quiet. And that really, like, cemented our friendship. And then she passed me her Coke, and it dropped, but it was in one of those movie theater things with a lid on it, and it didn't spill. And then the fact that it hadn't spilled, I don't know, to us was just, like, the funniest thing. I don't know. You know when you're that age and you're just like, we're just so sympathetico with someone

and you can't stop giggling about everything. Yeah, everything that happens, you just immediately lock eyes and cry laugh. Aw. Yeah. Love that. Your show is coming out soon, right? Yeah, and I'll see Nicole, actually, because she was my friend who got sent to one of these Troubled Teen Institutes.

So she was a consultant on the show. Wow. And she'll come to the premiere and stuff, yeah. And when does that come out? Oh, the premiere is September 9th, and then it comes out September 25th. Oh, my gosh. I know. Exciting.

I kind of think what I'm going to wear to all these events. Oh, yeah. Something's snazzy. You know, I'm in my tank top era. We're going to wear a tank to the premiere? I've got to find a way to dress up a tank. I think I'll just wear a suit with a tank under it. Well, you of all people who can pull it off.

Thanks. Thanks, man. Yeah. I actually could watch it right now if I wanted to. It is in, because I work for Netflix on the radio show, I have all this preview content in my Netflix. And they gave you my show? Yeah, it's in there. What are you talking about?

That's crazy to me. That's so vulnerable because no one's seen it yet. Well, I haven't watched it yet, but I won't. Don't. I'm going to watch the only thing. I watch it all, it feel good. Thank you. What if you watch it and you notice that I've, like, stolen lots of things you said from the pod

and it's all in the dialogue? I wouldn't remember. Yeah, that's true. I remember half this stuff I say. The best was when Thomas was like, hey, people seem to really like that character, Amelia, that you did. And you're like, sorry? I'm like, what care? Wait, what?

What did I do? I got to go back and listen to that because I'm still fuzzy on what I did. Yeah. But apparently it was a big hit. Big hit. Yay me. Yay. That's probably what Will Farrell saw it.

And he saw Amelia, the character. He was like, get this girl in my show now. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes they put stuff in my previews like a week before. sometimes it's a couple days before but yeah this one is a month before that's crazy mm-hmm so well I hold so much power you do it's really scary but no one can go on my Netflix and just watch it you click on it and they text you a code yeah yeah because it's on my Netflix right now so I've been trying to resist just putting it on but it's so thrilling

to see the like the Netflix logo and then the yeah I'm bet well it's a it's hard to get any show made and this is now your second yeah i'm pumped and my dad's in it he plays a puppet maker in one scene he doesn't have a line but he is featured in one episode pretty you know he's on screen for a good 20 seconds oh i love that yeah with his puppets and um so he's coming to the premiere and he was like shall i bring a puppet to the premiere perhaps on the red carpet I could bring my puppet Zoltah. What did you say? I was all for it.

No, I'm into it. I'm like, I want a spin-off show about the puppet man. Oh my God. It's so funny. Well, look at you getting dad in there. Got to. He's a star. You brought your mom on Kimmel when you were hosting.

You got to do it. What's the point otherwise? Yeah. Yeah, we've got to give our people some fun adventures. Totally. We can't be the only ones doing this crazy Hollywood. would stuff. It's more fun when there's someone you know and love around you as well. You can, yeah. I'm excited today because apparently after our like impassioned plea for people to ask

advice questions, a lot of people have sent in advice questions. That's right. So today's questions are all going to be advice. What do you think they're going to be? Ooh, I don't know, but I feel well equipped to handle 90% of these. Do you? What would be out of your remit? Like I guess if it was a really Sucking D's. I don't know. You can't know how to do that, y'all. So ladies, if you're asking, I'm not answering because I don't know. If people have sent in questions about how do I best as a D?

I'd be shocked, but... Yeah, you'd have to take that one, bud. I'd be like, I've said it before. I touched one wiener. And I grabbed it. Like a hot clarinet. Just like this. Just.

I don't want to grab it for too long, you know. I bet that that is someone's specific kink, though. There's some man out there that's like, I don't know how to ask my girlfriend to touch my dick like a hot clarinet. Yeah. And they look at me and I go, sorry. Sorry, boys. Sorry.

You can think it and dream it, but it's never going to happen. I want that. I want you to play the caddy like that. It's never going to fucking happen because I'm. Gay as a effer. Well, on that note, should we get to one of the questions? Hey there, Tig, May, and Fortune. It is Annalise from Vermont.

Huge handsome listeners, obviously, like many of us, but you three really bright up my day every time I listen to you. And this is why I'm asking for some advice right now. I am wondering how you get out of imposter syndrome. I'm assuming maybe the three of you have felt that in times of your careers. And yeah, I feel like I'm in a pivoting point in my career and I'm looking to change things up, get my own business going. And imposter syndrome has been really keeping me, I don't know, stagnant. So what the hell do I do with that? I love your. advice. Thank you so much. And I have no answer because, yeah, looking for advice on this one. Thank you. So much love to you. And Elise from Vermont. Great question. And imposter syndrome, it's pretty much just feeling like at any minute someone's going to figure out that you don't know what you're doing, right? Like everyone else knows how to do things and

you're just freestyling. Yeah, that you don't qualify to be there. That somehow you got tap too early. Yeah. A thing that was a turning point for me was like living with a child and being even even temporarily in a semi-parental role, like a caregiver role. Yeah. Because I was like, oh my God, I'm a child myself. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. And then you kind of realize all parents are, are, like there's just figuring it out. Yeah, like you don't suddenly become an adult. And we're all teenagers pretending like this performance of maturity. yeah and and so maybe yeah just realizing that everyone has the same feeling what have you had it um i don't have it often but i've had it because you know you're always feel a little out of your league and

certain things yeah i think i think i had it the first um maybe half of my first season that i did the mindy project yeah um because it was my first series regular role i had only i had done chelsea lately but it was just like sketches and stuff like that and i had done a couple pilots but this was my first like oh you're like on the show yeah acting there's no one you know this isn't the time to ask questions yeah these are professionals high level writing um and it was my first yeah like big acting gig so i kind of just had to like you know luckily i knew like the basics yeah but i just had to kind of watch to be like, you know, figuring out the lingo and stuff on set

and what to do, you know, when you mess up a take. Yeah. I just was kind of quiet and just observing for a long time. And then got the hang of it probably maybe six episodes in. But yeah, for that early part, I was just like, I don't know what I'm doing here. I want to go watch those first six episodes. episodes and see the fear in your eyes, like just this slight, like, look to the side.

I'm sure I look down the barrel of the camera a couple times. Oh, for sure. Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart. Unfortunately, not checking that your barbecue has enough propane is not smart. Turns out, when you have the whole neighborhood over for a cookout, they expect the food to be, you know, cooked. Yeah, check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.

Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Yeah, so, like, that's why now, if I have anyone that I know, like, doing their first big acting gig, I'll call them up and be like, okay, here's what this means. Yes. this is like this and this is like hit your mark and do this and this is the lighting and this is what will happen here just because you know that no one teaches you that stuff in a acting class i think there's it's like a balance where a you have to be confident enough to ask questions and maybe find like your your anchor like find a person who you can confide in early and say

hey listen i don't really know what i'm doing but like yeah so that but then also my tendency is to say to everyone, I don't know what I'm doing. And then that has a bad effect. I wouldn't do that. Yeah. I wouldn't do that. I get this like low status, like even show running on set. I'm like, I don't know. It's like, I don't really feel that. It's like a defense mechanism. But yeah, maybe not making it your comedic angle that you're like a newbie, but finding one person that you trust that you can be like. I think it is a fake it until you make it kind of thing you have to do without overcompensating. Yeah. Where you're like, oh, I know everything.

Don't do that. But be like open to like suggestions because you know that you don't, instead of being like, I don't know if someone's, you know, got an idea of like, oh yeah, that's great. You know, just being kind of open to other people's leading the way and you're just kind of following and observing. But also being, you know, a participant to the extent that you can. And probably you're more qualified to be there than you think. Of course. Some of this is just mental and doubting yourself and I would say have confidence in yourself.

Yeah, somebody hired you. Yeah, 100%. I think, I wonder if it's different if you're like a surgeon. You can't really fake it until you make it. That one, no, because it requires tons of training to get to a human. Yeah. But yeah, in other scenarios that aren't life or death, you can fake it until you make it. and just believe in yourself.

I like what you're saying about, like, immerse yourself in the experience. Like, really be social, talk to people. Don't just be on your phone, you know, or eat your lunch alone because you're nervous, like, get amongst it and then you'll feel more. See how other people are doing it that you think are doing a good job, kind of emulate them. Do you think, did Annalise give her answer or because it's advice? She did not. She just wanted that advice, and I think we gave her pretty solid advice.

Annalise, you got this. Yeah, you got this. You go rock it in Vermont and show them what's up. Yeah. The newspaper headline tomorrow is the woman pretending to be surgeon causes mayhem in local hospital in Vermont. That's right. All right. Who's next?

Thomas. Hey, fortune tig and may. My name's Ash, pronouns, they, them. I was just listening to your recent pretty little episode where you were saying no one's asking you for advice. So I find myself in the current situation of having lots of long-distance friendships after moving states. And assuming, you know, all of you travel around quite a bit and hopefully you have friends, what do you do to maintain long-distance friendships? What have you found most helpful?

Thanks. Great question. Ash, that definitely happens, especially the older you get. Yes, and living in, like, I've lived in three different time zones, and so I have groups of friends that I, but I like, like, what you did recently going to Iceland with an old friend. It's like, the friendships you want to invest in carve out serious one-on-one time with those people. It's so rare that you have a solid, like, four days with someone, but then that could, that's more than like, you know, a year of coffees with someone that lives around the corner. Like, yeah, that's sort of what I do. Like going up to this cottage and I had friends, like Lisa Gilroy. Roy came up for a couple days and it's like so rare that you got a couple days with someone and then you fill up your cup. Yeah, I've got a lot of long distance friendships just from moving here from North Carolina and people in college going to different states to live. One of my, the friend I went to Nashville with, I mean, I'm Iceland with. She moved to

Nashville a few years ago. And that was so jarring because we've been best friends for many years now. and just, you know, you get kind of spoiled that you know that your friend's just like 15 minutes away, that you kind of take it for granted. And then when they leave, you're like, oh, I should have done more with my friend. But it's nice when it's a friend that allows you some grace because everyone's busy. If it's a friend who's like always making you feel guilty for like not keeping in touch, that friendship's not going to go far. Totally. Because they're Everyone's busy, and everyone's got a life. My friend's a mom, and she works, if I were to be like, I never hear from you.

What are you doing? You don't care about me anymore? She'd be like, what? Like, maybe you get one of those. Yeah. But, you know, you got to just be okay with not talking for a bit. And then, like, having the best time catching up at some point. Yes.

So giving you to the grace, for sure. Yeah. The worst is, like, a newer friendship where then they very quickly are like, hey, I'm feeling kind of bummed that we haven't seen each other in a few weeks. And I'm like, oh, no, I hate that. This has got no future because, like, yeah. Yeah, we're all a capacity. I've had a couple of people like that where you're like, oh, this could be a cool friend.

And then guilt trip, like, week three. And you're like, oh, no, thank you. A hundred percent. Yeah. So that's a big one. But, you know, checking in once in a while, texting. Like, it's so easy to be like, thinking of you or things are good. or making a point to call on the phone even if it's like once a month.

Yeah. The thing is you're never going to keep in touch with them to the extent you would if you were in the same city. But there are plenty of ways to keep the connection. Yeah. And definitely I think if there's a handful of people you really want to invest in, then planning little trips or going to visit them, then you get that concentrated amount of time, even if it's just one night.

Yeah. Yeah. When I go on tour, I will try to. see different friends in cities like having a dinner yeah i know i won't see them for like another year we'll check in here or there and that's that's okay yeah but the friends are fun you should they should not be uh in just one zip code yeah you heard it here there you there you go thanks ash should we squeeze one more let's squeeze that in yeah that's what she said hi handsome um my name is emma um similar to may

I'm an adult without a driver's license, and I've actually recently failed my driving test two different times. Oh, no. And I think it's partly because the tension with the test examiner is like really getting to me. Yeah. And so I'm looking for your advice on the best thing to say when the test examiner gets in the car the next time I try to take the test again to kind of break that tension. Love the podcast. Hope you can help me out. Thanks, guys. Maybe put on our podcast in the car blast a podcast blast them singing have some chat with friends on the handsome pod but also so this is going to be the same examiner like could you not go to a different i think it's i think there needs to be another one i think so i think you're stuck in a rut with this person yeah i think they've got bad

energy it's their fault it is their fault you haven't done anything wrong emma yeah if if we were testing you you'd be passing every time. I mean, first off, I would maybe practice a little bit before taking that test. So you feel more comfortable, right? Definitely. You're probably in your head a little bit at the moment. Yeah. Thinking, oh, I keep failing this test.

Maybe you call it, call it out, name the feeling. You go, oh, I was thinking about what to say to you when you get in the car because, you know, third time lucky. Like, you go, oh, I'm feeling the tension a little bit. Although, I guess depending on how you phrase it, you could sound like. you're coming on to them being a creep yeah do you feel that tension i keep failing so i'll see you yeah you don't say that you could cut this tension with a knife i say just keep practicing a little bit before your next test so you know you got the skill behind you and then when you're in in the car just try not to focus on the tester yeah it's on the road focus on the road focus on the road you know

get your hands at where do they go, 10 and 2? I thought it was 10 and 2. Someone recently told me it's changed to 9 and 3. To 9 and 3 or something. Oh. I think it's 10 and 2. I'm going to keep. 10 and 2, yeah, I can see 9 and 3.

Sometimes I go down to, what would this be 7 and 5? That's dangerous. That's when your hands are resting on your lap, basically, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Focus on the road. Don't focus on this person. They don't matter other than they're going to decide whether or not you pass. Well, following that logic, maybe there is a world where you butter them up a bit.

Like, they are obviously power drunk. They failed you twice. Bring them some M&M's. Yeah. Or you go, God, I'm so glad I got you again as my tester. I was worried it would be someone else. Yeah, well, um, ego boost. Yeah.

Or you go. Okay, I don't hate that. You go, because you know my driving, you're going to notice how much better I am this time. And what if the person's like, what are you talking about? I mean, I met you. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't me. I do about 30 of these a day. Yeah, it's not that deep.

Emma, good luck to you. I believe in you. May believes in you. Yeah. We know you got this. And they say third times a charm. Totally. So you got this, my friend.

But even if it takes five times, like you don't have the muscle memory. You're like me. You're a grown adult. Yeah. So give yourself a break. That's right. Okay, that was fun. I like the advice one.

See, advice is fun. advice is good yeah I love it please keep submitting your questions and advice request to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod give us the questions give us in what advice anything you want we're here for you yeah we'll teach you how to S a D mine will all be made up advice which also could be fun yeah you got to first you got to warm your hands. You got to put on some mitts, warm those hands, because you know nobody likes a cold, shocking touch. Except I'm sure someone does. Someone does. There's someone for everyone out there, May. You're right. Dunk your hands in ice. Yeah. Well, you never know what you'll get here,

but we're glad you tuned in, and we love it. We love hearing from you. And we love being a part of the Handsome Pod community. That's correct. So check out our regular episode. uh next week and until then keep it pretty handsome handsome is hosted by me may martin tignotaro and fortune fiendster the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas willet email us at hansompod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at hansompod what a what a podcast what a podcast

Podcast. Checking Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart. Unfortunately, not checking that your freezer door is closed is not smart. I had to learn to enjoy ice cream soup, but my frozen tater tots were tragically unsaligible. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All-state North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.