Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #59

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

Fortune and Tig talk about their favorite decades and how best to handle jealousy on a brand new Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Potential savings vary, subject to... Terms, Conditions, and Availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome Pot. Chatting the friends on the Handsome Pot. Pretty Little Episode. Welcome to the Handsome Pod's Pretty Little Episode. I'm Fortune Feemster.

And I am your dear, dear friend Tignotaro. And we're together. we are together just deeply in love yes kisses i see you're still in imaginary grandma's bedroom yep just this is my last day in this here grandma bedroom okay and uh what else fortune where are you off to after you leave grandma's bedroom i have to go back to los angeles because i start this new television show. Nice. It's going to be filming in Los Angeles, which is rare.

That's a luxury. Yeah. You must be thrilled. Yeah, I can't believe it. Yeah. For a good 10 years, I shot in L.A. every year. Uh-huh. And then in the last four years, I have not filmed in L.A. once.

Wow. I mean, aside from, like, one-off things, like. Uh-huh. Oh, okay. I'm just talking about, like, serious. and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, so this is a treat.

That's amazing. That's really great. Well, you're on fire, kitten. This girl is on fire. Now, do you mind when I chime in with the singing? Oh, I love it. Okay, so let's take it again. Two, three, and this girl is some fire.

This girl is on fire Wow You brought some vibrato As they say Yes, yes I did Where did you learn that? I just went rogue and it came out And it was

And that's Alicia Keys Sure is Yes yes yes yes Boy, is she phenomenal. Look at you pop culture queen. Well, I know music. That's true. Yeah, music is my sweet spot.

That's right. That's right. Yeah. And that goes from pop to country, old country, new country, heavy metal. I love me some 90s ladies country. Mm-hmm. 90s lady. Sure, sure.

Well, I mean, then the chicks. Tails California. California. Somewhere warmer. Up in the mountains down by the ocean where it don't matter. Long as we're going somewhere together. I've got a quarter. It's Carolina.

Tales California. Okay. That's right. And then the chicks, Avi. The obvi. Yeah. Now, I do enjoy a female country singer, but I feel like the majority, I like male country singers. Oh, like, give me an example. Mm-hmm. Keith Whitley. Okay. Okay.

Anybody else? I love Willie. I love Willie. I love Willie. Willie. Yeah. I like Dirk's Bentley. Oh, okay. I like Tim McRaw. I like George Strait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do like this one guy so much, but he is so far off from my beliefs in life. Is he problematic? Well, he just, I don't think, is a fan of my existence. Hilarious.

But I enjoy his music, and I struggle. Do you want to say who it is or no? Jason Aldeen. Oh, wow. I did not expect that. Wait, why? Because you don't like Jason Aldine? I mean, he just is like more on the, you know.

Yes, he is. Yeah. Conservative side. Oh, yes, he is. Yeah. Goodness. Well, also, and it also goes without saying that I do love me some Brad Paisley. That's right.

We like Brad. You like that song. I don't know who's singing Josh Turner. Maybe turn Maybe like that door And turn the lights down low Yes Something something

Baby soft and slow We ain't got no other place to go And then I forgot the rest What would we You also didn't know most of that I started off not knowing Most of it And really really continue

with that. I just like it when they go real low with their voice, just like you do in our handsome song. Now, what do you say? I know we've talked about starting a handsome band, but what if we started a handsome country band? What would May do? May would have to play the guitar still.

I know, but May, I don't know that May enjoys country music. I don't think May probably knows a single country song. Mm-mm. No. But we could be surprised. We'll have to ask May next time we're all together. We could be surprised. I guess I'll have to be the lead singer, fine.

Yes, you will. Twist my titty. Is that the saying? Is that the saying? Yeah, twist my titty. I'll do it. I don't know, but I immediately pictured twisting your titty. And I said, yes.

It's so visual. I know. That's why it works. Yes. Yes. And to twist a titty, it feels like it has to be substantial. And I know based on what you've told me, you don't have a substantial rack. They're there. They just point down. I did not know that. I thought they were just, I thought they were just minor. They're just giving two thumbs down.

Two nips down. They're there. Okay. So you have to just go from underneath. Uh-huh. Well, but what are you doing with your fingers? Twisting tithes. Oh, I was picturing. Oh, I was picturing twisting the whole thing. Oh, you wanted a, okay, like a. That's what I'm saying. You wanted this. I guess I was just doing nips there. No, no, no. I was picturing grabbing a hole to one. Uh-huh. And just twist in the whole thing. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Why not? Yeah, why not? We're co-hosts of a podcast. Might as well twist your titty.

How do we get in the happy conversations we get into? I don't know, but here we are. I blame myself. I blame Jason Aldine. God. It's crazy. That I like now? Yes.

Wait, now you just don't like his music or you just don't like his political beliefs. I mean, I don't know what, I guess I don't know what his songs are. Oh, okay. But, well. Anyway. I like Luke Brine. Oh, yeah, he's good, too. He wears those tight jeans.

You like guys, you like anyone in a tight pair of jeans? Yeah, why not? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Come on now. Come on now. Well, should we get some questions here? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Hi, handsome. This is McKenzie. I'm calling in from Sherbrooke, Quebec. I'm hanging with my dog Jude and my little cat shrimp. And we need some advice on handling jealousy. and I'm wondering if you guys have any productive ways that you can twist and turn jealousy into maybe becoming like a healthier version of yourselves or if there's any silly ways you recognize your own behaviors when you realize you get jealous and yeah I just I want to I want to be better you know so let me know we were just talking about twisting I know I know Twisting the night away.

Twisting the titty away. You don't strike me as someone who gets jealous at all. I mean, I've certainly had, I've been in relationships, you know, where I was so much more, I was so much younger, obviously. Insecure and probably, you know, aside from taking responsibility, for myself, I feel like I also was at times with people where, you know, we were toying, toying with each other. Right, trying to incite jealousy, you mean?

Yeah, or just, you're hoping to see if they like you enough, you know, and I definitely have been guilty of doing that, and then, you know, I've had some jealous moments with Stephanie where I felt like, but like when we were first getting together. or, you know, conversations you can get into exploring feelings and thoughts. And you're like, well, hold on, wait, well, I'm not. But it's always ultimately just, I mean, obviously when you have a connection with somebody and you can actually get in there and get completely uncomfortable and rid yourself of that, of, you know, and that's in a relationship.

And I've heard of people getting jealous. I had this friend of mine where he was like, oh my God, I had to get off social media. I'm so seething with jealousy. Oh, wow. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Oh, like other people doing well, that kind of thing. Yeah, or they're live, you know, because the go-to is to show all the shining moments of life. And I don't know. I think for me, I don't know. I don't know. I don't feel jealous looking at people. experiencing joy or whatever.

I think when it's over the top, my thoughts flip into, why are you trying, like, what are you masking? Yeah, or why are you, like, if you're really happy and enjoying yourself, probably you're not going to be thinking I need to share every moment with the general public, is my feeling. You're just out there enjoying it. Yeah, it's like, but of course, you sometimes are like, God, I have to. to show this thing or I and I don't I don't want to sound judgmental that's just my feeling is like when it becomes a lot I start to wonder like why does somebody need to show constant joy right

not that I'm looking for them to show constant sadness but I don't I don't feel I don't feel jealous of of that and I think it's probably also because I feel I feel pretty good about where I am. And I like, I don't know. I just, I don't know of anybody where I go, God, I want their relationship or their career. I feel, I just feel pretty good with things. And I always just kind of feel like I want to maintain this. But I can't claim that that was, I was certainly in the beginning of my career when people would, you know, get opportunities and shows or festivals or a TV appearance that I wasn't getting any traction. I would be like, what in the hell do I have to do?

You know? And there were streaks of jealousy, but it's like how long can you be jealous in a relationship or a career? You know what I mean? Yeah. That's how I feel. Yeah. I mean, I don't really get jealous,

not to say I haven't gotten. jealous. I think there's not a person on the planet who doesn't experience that at some point. I think ways to work on that are like obviously your own self-worth, feeling good about yourself and what you bring to the table helps. If you're in a relationship, you know, part of that is your partner helping you feel secure. If you are in a situation where the person is not committing or flirty or, you know, that will definitely breed jealousy in insecurity. So it helps to have a person who is conscious of that. And, you know, I've been past things, been tested before by whoever I was with. And there are times I took the bait. And the times that I didn't take

the bait, though, actually were always a more positive result. And it made the person, not want to do it again because it didn't have a reaction like they didn't get a reaction from it so they were kind of like oh well then that why am I doing that um and I just have find that I value my peace so much that if I was in a situation back like back back in the day where the person I was with was kind of trying to make me jealous it would I and it it would it would chip away at my peace and eventually that got old to me and I didn't want to be in that situation anymore. Absolutely. So I would then, in my older age now, seek out people that don't have, who aren't so insecure

that they need that from you. That would be my suggestion would be finding people who don't, who feel good about themselves. So they don't need to try to make you jealous in order to see if you like them. They'll just ask, hey, do you like me? They'll just, you know, like, I'm a fan of just being transparent. Yeah. I think also, I remember this is probably 25 years ago. I remember having this feeling come over me in my career when I was having waves of like,

how come I can't get into this place or how come I can't get representation or and then I had to kind of really organize in my head what I Tignotaro really want for my life and to not confuse somebody else's dream with my dream or confuse my dream with somebody else's because that can send people so far down the wrong road that you end up taking on things where you're like, I didn't even want to do this. Right. Like, I don't, I don't, I don't just want success and money and work. Like, I want to do what, like, makes me happy. Mm-hmm. And so I think you have to really get in touch with that.

And I also think it's good to celebrate others that you really think are incredible, you know? Yeah. I just think being as authentic in that place of being like, man, that's a solid comedian. Or, like, they are the best work in today. or that person annoys the hell out of me, but, God, have you seen them act? Yeah. Like, I can, I can acknowledge they are an incredible actor, but they are annoying as well. Checking Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart.

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Anyway, but it's all perspective, but I really think it's good to not confuse your dream with somebody else. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So hopefully that helps, and I would say all of us can work on our self-esteem and the better we feel about ourselves, the better, you know, any of these friendships, work relationships, relationships will be and benefit from that. Yeah, for sure. So thank you, McKenzie, for that cool question. Absolutely. And how embarrassing to be human. Right? Can you believe it?

Yeah, I don't know what person on the planet. who does not get jealous at some point. So just know that. Oh, my God. Absolutely. Hi, handsome. You are my favorite podcast ever. This is Heather from St. Louis.

My question to you is, what is the favorite age you have lived? Or do you think you will live? If you haven't lived your favorite decade, what do you think will be your favorite decade? Interesting. That is interesting. I love the questions we get.

Yeah. Well, I know because sometimes it's like these things you just haven't ever thought of. For sure. Gosh, I did, I've enjoyed different eras of my life for different reasons. Like I loved college. I had such a blast in college. And I thought I could never top that. And I remember being sad to graduate thinking like this is the best that is going to get. Uh-huh. And then I had this like period in my 20s at the grade. Groundlings being broke, but just, like, laughing all the time with my friends, creating things, and then hitting my 30s and then, you know, finally getting professional work and, like, getting to do what I love for a living. And then, and then I was married for a bit

and, like, experience in that. And that was cool. And now I'm hitting an age where I think I'm pretty excited to see what's ahead. There was a period of time where I was like, oh, God, my life is falling apart. The good days are over, and then I've gotten out of that cloud and I'm experiencing some very happy times and just excited for whatever this next phase is. So maybe the best is yet to come. I bet you're right. It kind of reminds me of that episode where we were reflecting on the loss of Andrea Gibson,

and I was saying that I really am all in for the surprises of life, you know? And I feel like that's really what you've come out of and are going into, and it's really, really fun to watch because it's like not in like a shallow way, of like, you know, when people put that meme or whatever of like somebody eating popcorn watching. Right. But it's like that that's like what your past year has been of like, oh my gosh, where is this going? Yeah. You know?

And it just continues to, you just continue to flourish and it's exciting. And it's funny that this question came up because last night, I can't remember if it was Max or Finn, but one of them asked something about, it was a very similar. question to this and um and i don't remember exactly what their question was but my answer and stephanie's was the same is that right now that this is this is my favorite time in life and um i've had like you going through all these different decades of your life it's like oh my gosh i had so many great fun exciting, crazy times. Yeah. But I, what has unfolded in my life as far as finding Stephanie, having Max and Finn

and seeing my comedy career come true. Mm-hmm. And that I'm healthy. Yeah. I'm like, I, there's truly nothing more than maintaining what I have. Right. What I'm most excited about is I want to maintain my health so I can. can see Max and Finn have their lives.

Like, I really want to see where they go, what they do, if they have families, or if they don't, whatever they have, I just, I want to see that. That's what I'm so excited about. Aw, I love that. Yeah, if it's true, it's like, man, that's my North Star is I want to take care of myself and I want to see, I want to see their lives. Yeah. You know, yeah.

So I'd say, yeah, right now and me at 85, please. Yeah, the hope is that as you get older, there's just like new cool things look forward to and experience and you're like hopefully a more evolved version of yourself to like rise to that occasion and appreciate the things that are good in your life. And you've had enough experiences with harder things that you've learned to get over those things quicker. Yeah, I think we were saying. it on a, I think it was on this podcast or I said it somewhere else, but I just love that

idea of like, whatever it is, you're going to get over it one day, so might as well do it now, you know? That's true. And get on with the show. Yeah. No licking your wounds for too long. That's right. There's too much good stuff to experience out there.

Yes, indeed. But lick your wounds. Lick them, for sure. Deal with them and lick them. Let's hear Heather's answer. So far, I think. I like my 30s and 40s best. I'm right in between fortune's age and Tig's age. Well, not right in between, but I'm 48. And I do appreciate being older for the wisdom, but I hate the age

for the aches and pains. I love being more sure of myself and loving that I don't give a shit as much about what other people think. I just don't love the aches and pains. And I wish I wasn't so achy and painy. And so that's why I think we all start taking better care of ourselves in our older age because you want to feel better. So eat healthy, exercise a bit, you know, et cetera. Make sure you go to those doctor appointments, right? So thanks. Love you guys. Bye. For sure. Yeah, I guess we, yeah, you start prioritizing health. And for especially someone like you who's seen the, the debilitating nature of things when you are feeling healthy, there's probably no better feeling.

Well, yeah, and like so many other people, it didn't really, my health didn't cross my mind until I lost it, you know, and I can't remember she said she's 48. 48, yeah. My understanding is 35 to 45. That's the prime time to try and turn that ship around. Like you're still, whatever shape you're in now. And not that you can't make a decision when you're 70 to turn the ship around because any time works. But in what my understanding is between 35 and 45, you really still have such a massive opportunity to get your health in order.

And that's something that I wish I wasn't so cocky about when I was younger that like, I'm like, I'm fine. Nothing's going to happen. And then once I lost it, I was like, oh, God, I'd do anything in the world, please, please, please, you know. Right, right. So, yeah, I'm all for what Heather has to say. Mm-hmm. And I do, I can't express enough. I love, I get so excited to hear everyone's different questions and takes and that's real.

So send it on in, keep on sending it in. People could submit their questions or ask advice to any of us at speakpipe.com. that is where you send it oh yeah oh and uh very quickly i will be in salt lake city on october 11th uh otherwise go to tignotaro dot com for all other show information what about you fortune um i have some shows coming up in like boston and atlanta chicago and san jose and Orlando and St. Petersburg, a bunch of stuff on my website, Fortunepeamster.com.

Yeah, well, Fortune, love you dearly, not queerly. I love you dearly too, pal. And until next time, what do you say? Keep it? Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feamster.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod. com, and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance

is smart. Unfortunately, not checking that your porch light is on is not smart. You don't want to be stumbling in the dark out there when you go to let out your dogs at night. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company

and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.