Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #7

Episode Date: October 4, 2024

Fortune and Tig talk about keeping the spark alive, plus, the age-old debate: hotness versus smartness!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media: @handsomepodMerch: handsomepod.comWatch on youtube: youtube.com/@handsomepodEmail the show: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Let's cut to the chase. Allstate makes it easy to switch and save money on your home insurance policy. You deserve the best plan at the best price, handsome listeners. So we're telling you, get a quote from Allstate and you might be surprised at how easy it can be to get a better rate. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state. Based on the national average annual savings

for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. Handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pod. Chattin' with friends on the handsome pod. Pretty Little Episode. Hi, welcome to the handsome pod's pretty little episode.

I'm Fortune. Yes, and I'm Tig. I'm sorry I cut you off. No, it's all right. People technically probably know who I am if they're listening to this. I don't know. This might be their first time and this is a weird way to get to know the show. But if this is your first time, we do have full length episodes with all three hosts, but these pretty little episodes sometimes are two of us, maybe it's three of us. It's never just one or zero of us.

Would you agree? Zero would be hard. It'd be very hard. But yeah, I haven't done one of these in a while. So I'm a little off my game. And that's why I came in and interrupted you. Well, you look amazing. You look like a pretty little lady.

Do I? Yeah. Do I? Yeah. Do I? Well, this pretty little lady got up at four this morning. I'm still trying to regulate my sleep out here and it's not going well, Fortune. So you woke up involuntarily at four.

Mm-hmm, yes. Wide awake and just couldn't go back to sleep. No, I did my deep breathing exercises. That didn't help. And then I finally just got up and I was like, OK, let's get the day started. And so here we go. Do you have trouble sleeping at all? I only have trouble sleeping if I have like a really early flight,

like when I'm on tour And I know I have to get up in a couple hours. My body has a hard time just shutting down Yeah, but on the reg I would say I'm pretty pretty good sleeper I Used to be I used to be I give anything Anyway, and then it just shifted one day. Yeah, I think it's menopause stuff. Yeah, so people always get surprised, you know, when you look the way I do that, you know,

yeah, I still go through menopause. Sorry. Because you got rid of those dumpster tits. Yeah, I got dumpster tits. If you heard our last livestream, you know what we're talking about. That was so fun, that livestream. Would you agree? Oh, so fun.

Yeah. Yeah. That audience was off the charts. Yeah, we came out on stage and it was like, holy cow. It was such a cool vibe in there. Yeah, for sure. And then, Fortune, you're wrapping up your Toronto days soon, huh?

Yeah, I'm pretty much done here shortly. I was thinking that we were all gonna be on the same schedule out here. It was looking like that. Yeah. And then Star Trek got pushed so far. Yeah. I'm going to be the straggler leaving last. We'll miss you. Maybe you'll be home at the holidays.

Maybe. Maybe. So we can come kiss you. Under the mistletoe? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, we got some questions from our pre-lo-l listeners and let's get to it. I can't wait. Okay, this question is from Baz.

Baz. Hello. I am submitting this question again because I sent it before answering it for myself. My question is, what would you rather, if you had the choice between being 10% hotter, like physically attractive in whatever way that looks to you, or being 10% smarter. Mm, Baz. I like that Baz started his question with a, ugh. Yeah, sorry to put you out, Baz. I think it's because he had to redo his question,

but still, it was funny just to start it with, ugh, here's my question. I'm very curious what you have to say about this fortune. Do you have your answer? This is hard because God, well, I mean, I would feel I feel bad for the world if I was 10 percent hotter because it's already pretty up there. So steaming hot. This is this would just kind of blow people's minds like,

I didn't think this was possible. And I'm like, yeah, enjoy it. I don't know. I don't think that I don't want to, I'm always kind of going to be a goofy person, my personality wise. So if I was hotter, I don't think the two would fit. You know, like-

I mean, I'm able to do it. This is true. I would have to learn, teach me your ways. You know, like when you see a hot girl that's like quirky, it's like, you're like, oh, she's good for her. Wait, are you saying you're not really into it? You don't like a hot quirky girl? I mean, everyone loves a hot quirky girl,

but I think it would- Sounds like you don't. I think it would shift my comedy too much. People would be too distracted by my beauty. Wait, I wanna revisit the hot quirky girl because I've known quite a few hot quirky girls on this planet. And I think it's a, I love that combination.

Yeah. I love it as a person in everyday life. Like who doesn't like a hot girl with personality? Like, hello? It was starting to sound like you didn't. No, I meant in terms of, I've set it up wrong. I meant in terms of like my profession, comedy. Mm-hmm, okay. Like, I think it would affect my comedy too much and I don't up wrong. I meant in terms of like my profession, comedy.

I think it would affect my comedy too much and I don't want that. 10%. I know but Tig, I'm already so high up there. We're talking 10%. I have to go 10% smarter even though that too is pretty high up there. Just kidding. I would wanna go 10% smarter, even though that too is pretty high up there. Just kidding. I would want to be 10% smarter because I think, again, it all goes back to my career.

I feel like I'm already married. Jax likes me as I am, which lucky me. So she'd probably prefer me to be 10% smarter than 10% hotter, I think. What would you want from her? 10% smarter or 10% hotter? I think she's already hot, so I don't need her. But 10%! I mean, you're obviously already hot.

I'm not good at math. I'm not good at math, so I don't know what we're working with here. Okay, then you need to be 10% smarter. Exactly. So yeah, 10% smarter, so I don't have to use my tip calculator. Things just are a little easier. Wait, you use a tip calculator? Yeah, I know.

Do you tip 20% or do you tip more than that? I do 20% sometimes more, and that's when I need a tip calculator. Okay. I can do the 10% plus. Can you do the 20? 10% times two. Oh, okay. I think it would just help, it would help with writing

and it would help with remembering things. I wanna be 10% smarter. I'm hot enough. Yeah. Rar. Rar. Rar. What about you? Take old bitties?

Garbage tits. Um. I. I. I. I. I. I.

I for sure would go with 10% smarter because same, I'm married. In fact, right before we got on the Zoom, when I was talking to Stephanie, she truly said she feels 1 million percent confident in her feelings for me, which was nice. Of course I assume she did, but like it's always nice to hear that.

You know? Like. But what made her say that? Did something happen? No, no. We were just talking about different people and relationships and life. And she was just like, I am so happy that I found you and that you are... Yeah, it was that kind of conversation.

Yeah. I think also being somebody that failed three grades and dropped out and then walking around with a seventh grade education, I know I'm smart, but I think what I would love to have is more knowledge that people have from school. Because there's stuff where I just have to go either completely silent or I'm just like, what's that? When did that happen? Who is that person? Oh, I didn't know that. And you know what I mean? Like I just I really there is so much stuff.

I just do not know. Yeah, but I feel like I'm very street smart. I've had a lot of experiences in life. But I would love to have more knowledge and I guess I could just read books. But I don't know that I wanna lie around in bed at night reading history books, geometry books. But yeah, I don't know if that's smarter, but have more knowledge. Yeah.

I think people kind of assume I'm a little bit of a dumb dumb sometimes because I, you know, my personality is very silly and I kind of play a little bit of the doot doot doot sometimes. and I kind of play a little bit of the doo-doo-doo sometimes. A dum-dum. I did graduate summa cum laude from college. Wow. I don't even know what that is. I've heard of it.

It's the highest one. In college? Yeah, 3.9 GPA or higher. Wow, look at you. So I'm not a dumb dumb. I definitely am smart, but I am not great with math as we've chatted about. So I'm definitely a dumb dumb with math.

But yeah, I think knowledge, you're never not done learning. Of course. So to be smarter, even 10% is a drop in the bucket, but I think that would be nice to have a little bit more. Yeah, I would just love to have the basics for when people are talking about stuff and I wouldn't have to be like, oh, I don't know this. I'm going to listen up right here.

I was a closet nerd. I was like very social and out and about and no one thought I like studied or cared. And then I would go into my room at like midnight and study like for like four hours. Oh my gosh. And I remember when I graduated and they said summa cum laude, my mom was sitting around with people that went,

really? Really? We're all busy these days. If you're a homeowner, you're extra busy. So you're looking for ways to save time and save money. We here at Hansome want to remind you that Allstate makes it easy to switch your home insurance policy and save money doing it. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state? Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. But wait, you, oh, I see. I was the graduation speaker, so they had just seen me do this funny, silly speech. And then I got that, wow, but I was a closet nerd. And homosexual. And homosexual, that I didn't know.

Let's hear Baz's answer. For me, I'd like to think I'd choose to be 10% smarter, but I think I'm already in a decently, like, you knowently smart enough person. I don't think I need to be any smarter to survive in this world. So I definitely choose to be 10% hotter. Hotter. Okay. Thank you. Love you guys.

Send in a picture, Baz. Yeah. Well, thank you Baz for submitting a question. Let's hear what another pretty little listener has to ask. My name is Meg Winter and I am recently married. My wife is incredible, but my question is still, how do you keep that spark alive when you are married or in a relationship over an extended period of time? That's a good question. We kind of dipped our toe into that.

Yeah, I'm a little concerned that she's already asking how to keep the spark alive. She just got married. You don't need to start thinking about that till like six years in. Yeah, I have to say when I went to Thomas's wedding, I think things like that really kind of kick you in gear. And yeah, I just feel like weddings just like really help you connect with those,

not that I'm not connected to it, but it really reinvigorates things where you, I don't, do you know what I'm saying? Like I know there's plenty of other things that- You love Stephanie and that doesn't waver, but there are certain moments where love is the focus, where you just appreciate your person even more, and you think, God, I'm so happy.

Like you said, like Stephanie saying, like a life thing can happen, and it makes you go, oh, thank God I'm with my person. Yeah, just these little reminders. I think it's good to, I know people talk about this, but I try to do this, is to practice gratitude. Just Stephanie is a mother that's so attractive. I mean, I know she makes always the best decisions and she's so responsible with our children. There's never like a fear of-

Why did you do that? Yeah, or like safety or inappropriateness or anything like that. It's like a hundred percent. But I think practicing gratitude is really helpful in keeping things sparked. Yeah. Yeah, what about you?

Yeah, I mean, Jackson and I have been together nine years. This is by a mile and many, many miles, my longest relationship. So I had to kind of learn a lot of this as I went. I didn't have like a longer relationship to like learn from as far as like how to, you know, keep the spark alive or any of that stuff. And I mean, there's no way to be in a relationship for many, many years and not have some times where you guys are like frustrating each other a little bit more. maybe you're not like going on dates

as much as, and the love doesn't waver, but you're just like busy and you're not like focusing as much as you can, but then you'll kind of, you know, then you'll get out of that space, hopefully. And I think if you just focus on each other a little bit more, I have to really be aware of like, okay, you've been working a ton, you're so focused on so many plates spinning in the air, you can't neglect the most important part of your life.

This has to be a priority. And I do have to, cause I'm such a workhorse that I definitely have to like get out of my way in that way. So just sort of checking yourself if you are a fellow workhorse to be like, like let's have some date nights, let's physical touch, let's cuddle, you know, like you, cause you do kind of take some of that stuff for granted when you just love each other and you know, you're you're with your person.

You can kind of take that like dating part of relationships for granted. Yeah, I think as far as dating, I think it's also really good to to surprise each other. And I'll do that for Stephanie. also really good to surprise each other. And I'll do that for Stephanie. Like with a present or like an experience or both? Yeah, you know, flowers for no good reason or an experience like, oh, I made reservations here or, oh, I called your mother to see if she could watch

Max and Finn and we're gonna go here for the weekend or anything like that. And of course it's not every week. Yeah, that's a good one for sure. And I would say like, Jax really appreciates it because there's certain things she has to kind of nag me about like, can you just do this? And I won't do it. Like what? Like just sort of like stuff around stuff around the house like cleaning wise.

Are you not tidy? I'm tidy but I'm not, um, like her. She's like scrubbing stuff down. She's like, can you just, or I'll like leave stuff in the sink, but I will, I always put it away, but like not in that moment. You know what I mean? Yeah. And when I do finally do what she's been asking, she appreciates it so much. So trying to hear your partner and adjust when you can. They want to, people want to feel like they're being heard in a relationship.

And, but the beauty of what I like about being married is even if we have like a little tiff or something, I'm never worried that like, that's it. I'm done with this. I'm like, I'll talk to my wife here in Toronto. We'll talk in the morning. It'll be fine. I like that piece of knowing like, that's my person, we love each other.

And yeah, we're gonna work it out. Yeah, I don't know if I've mentioned this on this podcast or not, but one of my favorite things and one of Stephanie's favorite things that Esther Perel has said is, and again, maybe I've said this, but worth saying it again, that with the issue of trust, it can be used as like almost a threat of like, I trusted you, you know? Right, right.

Yeah. You know, right. Right. Yeah. Whereas Esther Perel said it should be more like I trust or I know that you're going to hurt me. I know you're going to disappoint me, but I trust that we're going to get through that. That that's actually where the trust comes in. That as humans, you're going to falter, you're going to make massive mistakes, you're going to fumble through so many things terribly, make bad decisions here and there. And the trust has to come in that, yes, you fumbled as a human, we fumbled as a couple, but I trust that we'll get through that. I just think it's interesting. Yeah.

Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Well, let's hear Meg's answer. By just being really honest with each other and trying new things. And recently we've started a new bedtime routine where we meditate for half an hour before we go to bed and talk about what those meditations might have brought up for us. Nice. That's great. Well, we wish you all the best and congrats on your marriage. May it be long and prosperous.

Yes, indeed. Oh, this was fun, Tig. Yes, it was. Don't forget to keep sending us your questions and check out the three of us next week. And tell your friends about Handsome. And until next time keep it pretty handsome Handsome is hosted by me may martin tignotaro and fortune femster the show is produced recorded and

edited by thomas willett email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. Home insurance can feel really complicated.

You want the best insurance at the best price available. That's simple. Allstate makes it easy to sign up for a new policy or switch from an existing one. If you're a homeowner, Allstate can help. Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state. Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers

surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary.