Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #74

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

Fortune and Tig answer a query about clowns, pitch potential artistic collaborations, and roleplay as professors on today's Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Handsome Pot. Chatting the friends on the Handsome Pot. Pretty little episode. Woo! Welcome to the Handsome Pod's Pretty Little episode. I'm Fortune Feamster. I'm Tignotaro. And we're feeling warm and cozy.

Yeah. Yeah, we're together. Yeah, we're together. Together, tilling, warm and cozy. We put out a video over the holidays where you were kissing on us. And everyone was like, all the romance and chemistry is really coming through here. I don't know how to be sandwich between May Martin and Fortune Feimster and not kiss all over you. I'm doing it for our fan base.

I know they're all feeling it. They're all thinking it. I'm going to do it. You can't control yourself around us. I can. But I'm doing it for the love of our listeners. Because you know that they're like, if I was there, I'd be kissing on them. So I'm just like, all right, I'll do it for you.

Well, you've created a real will they want they moment on the pod, you know. And that's between all three of us. Yeah. Will they? Won't they? Uh-huh. What do you think's going to happen? Do you think we will or do you think we won't? I think that's what we keep, keep it stringing along.

Yeah, so people keep listening. So they, because they don't know. Am I going to leave Stephanie for fortune? Never, ever, ever. Oh, I never noticed your accent. Never ever. How long have y'all been together now? 13 years?

Wow. Yeah. What would you have guessed? I thought it was somewhere around like 12. But, yeah. I can't believe you're keeping up with that. I know. Well, it's because I knew you both when y'all got together.

Yeah. I'll be honest. This February is 13 years. Okay. Well, you're right. We're right there. Yeah. Is it Valentine's?

It is. It's exactly. It is? Y'all smooched on Valentine's? That's when it happened. That's romantic. And it wasn't even plan. People roll their eyes and they're like, oh, yeah, right. Yeah, you didn't plan. We truly didn't. We, there was no plan. I just met up with her that night. And now here we are 13 years later with two kids, three cats, and a production company. Well, you smooched that night. She freaked out. And then she gave her, she gave you the letter, the email. And you said, okay, Dyke, which was. an infamous part of your love story. It is, yes. We smooched.

And then her email was 43,000 pages telling me she could not date me that she's not gay. I would love to just picture her writing that. I wonder how long it took her. And not wanting to like hurt my feelings and be like, you know, complimentary about how fun it is to hang out. And then, you know, of course I was so bummed because I really thought, wow, I can see a future with this person. And then, yes, I wrote in response to her email, I wrote OK Dyke.

And you did read the whole thing? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I remember sitting there feeling bummed. I was like, God. But I was like, yeah, obviously I can't pursue this. Yeah. I got to let it go.

So I'll leave it on a funny note. And I had no idea that funny note. Was going to be what made her. Yeah. She was like, oh, I like her. I know. I had a number of those back in the day where I liked somebody and like throw it out there. And I got the big fat no.

And you didn't respond with OK, Dyke? No, I think I was like, cool, cool, cool. Great. All right. Well, all right. So when you throw it out there, do you throw it out there with some flirting or? Do you throw it out there with a little bouquet of flowers delivered to someone's door and saying, I've had my eye on you?

Well, this was a long time ago. I mean, someone would be crazy to turn me down now. Of course, of course. Everyone relax. Fortune Woods. Just kidding. I'm kidding. Of course they'd be crazy to turn you down.

You're a catch. I stand by this. But back in the day, I was not as much, I was not a catch. I was kind of awkward because I came out late. So it was, you know, I just didn't know how to, I wasn't very smooth. And I probably had a little bit of desperation dripping off of me. Like, please go on a day with me. If not saying that out loud the whole time.

No, right? I think I would, from what I remember, I would hang out with the person quite a bit. Yeah. And get to know them. And I felt like I was being flirty, but it was, I was always, confused because people wanted to be my friend. And they wanted to hang out with me, but I didn't know if it was ever more.

And it would get to the point where I had developed such a crush that I couldn't like hold it in anymore. And I would just, I think I would call and be like, hey, any chance I could take you out on an actual date. And every now and then I got a yes. And then sometimes I would get a, No, I just want to be friends. And that was always a bummer.

Which that happened between us. I know. Yeah. When you asked me out. We were not each other's types. No. People are going to hear that and believe it. That never happened.

That never happened. And I never went on a date nor asked each other on a date. No. But we did have dinner with a friend of ours that was not a date. What? Remember Jamie Babbitt. Oh, right. And Carrie was there, Dornetto.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think we talked about it on the pot a long time ago, Jamie wrote, because we were like, well, she tried to set us up and she wrote, I was not. I just wanted my funny friends to meet each other. Yeah. But I didn't think it was. We had already met, though.

But she wanted us to spend time and become friends and start a podcast a decade later. She's like one day, 10 years from now, you'll start a podcast. Yeah. I haven't seen Jamie in a while, have you? I haven't in a minute. No, but it was funny when she texted me after that episode, being like, I was not setting all of. I was like, I know, I know. That's funny.

And here we are. Here we are. About to answer some questions from our lovely listeners. Let's do it. Let's get into it. Why would we wait any longer? Let's don't wait. Let's stop waiting.

Thomas. Hi, handsome pod. My name is Kristen and I live in Baltimore. My question is, are there two people in the entertainment, world who you would like to see do a collaboration. Maybe two singers who you think should do a duet together or two actors who would make a great rom-com. Just something that you think would be fun and interesting. I know right off the bat what I want. Oh yeah? What should you go? Yes. I want an album entirely 12 tracks, if not more. Okay. Of Paul Simon and Edie Burkell. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That would be

good. They've never done that. I think they've like... Or a long time ago. I mean, they've performed together and he produced her solo album. Yeah. But she had mentioned something recently to me about them performing or doing something together. And I was like, that's all anybody wants on this planet is Paul and Eadie doing a full album of duets.

That would be cool. Whatever you... Yeah. Not just like backup vocals, not just every other song. Like a whole album. Give it to us. Give it. Mm-hmm.

Let's see. I would like to see Will Farrell and Chris and Wig do like a limited series podcast together. Oh. They're so funny. I think about them. They've given out awards together a couple times. Mm-hmm. They did this one where they,

did this like you get out of here it's this whole bit that was like so funny just like little things like that that they do together crack me up yeah so i'd like their ultimate silliness yeah i like silly people together what if they were like we're not going to do that but what we can do is a duet album i would love that too that would they did a lifetime movie together they did yeah and it but they did it like serious. They were like not making fun of lifetime movies. They were like, we want to do a lifetime movie. That is amazing.

Yeah. So I want more from them. I want to see, they're already kind of a duo at times, but I want to see Tina Faye and Amy Poehler host an award show again together. Mm-hmm. But musically, I can't think of who I would want to sing together. How about Paul Simon and Edie Brickell?

Let's go with that one. All right. Did Kristen tell us who she? she was? I bet it's Edie Brickell and Paul Simon. For me, my answer is, whenever I see the comedian Dmitri Martin, I always think of Kate McCoochee. And every time you guys mention Kate McCoochee, for some reason I think of Dmitri Martin. And I know that their energies are pretty different, but they live in the same place in my brain. And I would just love to see what those two crazy kids would come up with if they did a collaboration. I think it would be really fun and interesting.

They're both so multi-hyphenate talents. And that's my answer. Thanks. I love your podcast. I could see that, actually. Yeah, yeah, for sure. They have, I don't know if this is. I mean, is the word quirky, right?

I mean, I feel like that's kind of not really giving them the credit that they deserve. Right. They have, they're not, even though they've broken through in mainstream ways, they're like, They have such different ways of thinking about things and approaching things. Yeah. That would be interesting. Mm-hmm. And they're both brunette.

What a lovely cover that would be. Yeah, and kind of both have bowl haircuts. It's perfect. They're both artists. Yeah. And it's called my coochie. No? Oh, wait.

Dimitri, me, coochie. How about dem koochis? There you go. Tigmarie. That's it. That's it, Tigmarie. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking what you're unplugging when you're finding a spot on the extension cord for your phone charger. Uh-oh.

My phone is now charged, but my laptop's at zero percent. Yeah. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. All right. What else we got, Mr. Thomas? Hi, Hansons. My name is Nick. I live in the UK, and I have a question for TIG. So I work at a university, and I teach film history and film and media theory.

And this year, I'm teaching a class all about emotion in the United States. film and how different types of films evoke different kind of physical or emotional responses in their audiences. And one of the topics is documentary films. And this year, I decided to screen come see me in the good light to my students. And I was wondering, what kind of discussion questions do you think you would want the students to be asked once they've seen the film? You know, what kind of discussions do you think they should be having? What kind of conversations do you think would be the most useful, or do you kind of envision as being

the perfect response to the film? Okay, thank you. Bye. Nick, thank you. That means a lot, and I'm so thankful that the movie spoke to you. You know what? I'm really interested in. Just the idea of death

and your own death. And what are you? I mean, obviously some people don't have the lead-up or knowledge that they're going to be dying. But I think that before Andrea's death and before this documentary, I did not think much about my own death and what I wanted. And having been at end-of-life bedsides before Andrea, I was at three other ones.

And what I really noticed was that the conversation wasn't very open. There was a lot of like, look, you can't avoid sadness and fear and dread and all of the stuff and regret and whatever it is. but I really would be curious to hear people in your class, Nick, talk about or explore the idea of what they want in the final days and the time of their death. If they have that luxury of planning and preparing, which, you know, to some degree, everyone can have that if they get started. And it's made me realize, and I have been introducing it more to Max and Finn, and I'm trying to not present death as like this horrendous, terrible thing. And of course it is. It's so sad and emotional, but it can be beautiful. And it can be life changing in this

bold, exciting way if you embrace it. And of course, course I know death is so different with every person, family, illness, and end of life. But that is what Andrea's death in this movie has done to me is it's made me change my idea. And it's made me not look at it like something to just ignore, push away and dread until it's coming. And then it happens and then it's devastating. And of course, that can still happen when it's when it's, when it's. when you're planning and you're keeping the conversation open.

But that's if I don't know, I feel like I'm talking in circles, but does that make sense? No, that totally makes sense. Yeah. Those are important conversations to have too, especially is. It is. But to really actually have them. Yeah. And there's.

Like it doesn't, isn't going to happen one day. Yeah. And I was at a Christmas, a friend's Christmas dinner. And two of my friends. friends, I didn't know, I know them and I see them regularly at her house, but I didn't know that these two women have been getting certified as death doulas. And it just like changed. Our conversation, we've had such casual conversations together when we see one another. Oh my gosh, was it different? And now we have these.

follow-up text and now we're going to meet and talk more about death and their certification or whatever they're studying to become deaf doulas. I'm just so fascinated because I think it can be a positive thing if you're open to positive. I mean, of course, it's crazy to say that. Well, gaining stuff from it, you know, knowledge. Just being open. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, that's just where I am. And I would be so interested to hear students talk about that. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Anyway, that's my answer, Nick. Should we do one quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. Hey, handsome, this is Joyce from Fort Smith, Arkansas. and my question for you today is, are you afraid of clowns or do you find them creepy? I think the general consensus is yes when you ask most people, but I want to know your thoughts, your way in.

Why or why not? I've never had that thing. You know, some people think they're the creepiest and so scary. I mean, obviously like a movie like it, they're meant to be the villain and creepy. so that they're leaning into that, but they've never been a source of weirdness for me. Same zies. Right.

I mean, I understand like it can lend itself to creepiness with the clown music and stuff, but. Yeah, I just, when people are like, oh,

my God, clouds are so creepy. I'm like, sure. Yeah. There's much creepier things in my opinion. I know. I just,

I'm like, okay. Like, I'm, clearly missing something. Yeah. That it's not like I want to go to a clown conference and no offense to the clowns listening, but.

And do your, um, there you go. The clown horn, yeah. Bafafat, Fafit. Do you want to do it, Fortune?

Fafa. I can't do it. No, you can't. Thomas? Fawfum. That's pretty good. Fortune, you want to try again? Fafo.

No, no. All right. Well, that is a fun. I can't be great at everything. No, it's impossible. Does Joyce have an answer? Yeah, does Joyce think clowns are creepy? Do you think Joyce is going to think so?

I'm going to assume she thinks are creepy for her to have asked this question. I'm going to say she doesn't. Okay. Yeah. My answer to that question is no. And my why is because as a kid, my mom was a clown. She had some odd job. She's a hairdresser.

And on the side, you could hire her to do your kids' birthday party. And she would dress up as sometimes a character. But most of the time it was as a clown. She did balloon animals and all that. It was really fun. My dad's also a stand-up comedian. So we had a pretty eccentric childhood meet. and my sisters with a comedian dad and a clown mom.

Wow. Yeah. I can't wait to hear your answer. That's a fun house. Yeah. Literal fun house. So yeah, she's used to clowns. Yeah.

Not creepy to her. Yeah, it's never, that's never been a thing that I've been like, oh my God, clowns are so creepy. Probably just because I like hearing that clown horn you do. Papa. All right. Well, lovely. What another great group of questions.

What an honor. Yes. And, you know, speaking of honors, it was a real honor and privilege to record this episode on my parents' birthday. Yeah. My mother and father born January 16th. So happy birthday. Here's to them. Tell me their names again.

Well, my mother's real name was Matil, which is my real name. Yeah. But she went by Susie. And then my father was a Pasquale not taro. Pasquale! Hey! Hey! Hey!

A Pasquale! He went by Pat, though. I love it. What a name. What a name. Well, here's to your parents. Here's to them. We're grateful for them because we have you.

And I, you. Aw. And yes, thank you to our listeners. Check out our websites. at tignotaro.com, go to my, uh, go to my website and come to my show. Same. And if you want to submit a question or ask us any advice, go to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod and ask away. And until next time, keep it, keep it pretty, handsome. Itty handsome. Pretty itty handsome. Pretty itty bitty.

Hansom is hosted by me, Tignotaro, May Martin and Fortune Themster. The show, the show. show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast. Checking allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance.

And that's smart. Not checking the rules for that new board game before you get started. that's when the evening can take a turn. You're three hours in and you just realized you can only buy railroads when your blue token is on a square with four sides. Better luck next time. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.