Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #96

Episode Date: June 19, 2026

Mae and Tig talk about TV and movie goofs and what it takes to "feel like an adult" on a very goofy, not-so grownup Pretty Little Episode!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking for critters when I turn on the outside patio light at night. My bad guys, there was a little family of raccoons enjoying my outdoor furniture. And now I feel really bad for disturbing them. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, North Brook, Illinois. Chatting the friends on the handsome pod Chatting the friends on the handsome pod Pretty little episode Hi, it's your friend Tigg Hi, and it's your friend May as well

Yeah, and we're here on the pretty little episode of the handsome pod, just catching up Catching up, related to be catching up How are you adjusting to being off the road? Oh man, I am I'm still going through all the stuff that people gave me and it's and it's it is wild and like 99% of it is so sweet and amazing. Every once in a while I get something a little unsettling or that gets under my skin and like what? Well, TIG I got this and I don't know if someone's listening who made this I think the intention. They for sure are.

If they gave you something, they're for sure, they're listening. Oh, then I feel bad. But it was strange. It was a puzzle. So it was like this sealed, very like escape roomy puzzle that needed a code. And it came with a written clue that was like the code, it's an eight-letter word. It's something meaningful to you. And then the clue was like, the state of Georgia was one of the first states to like,

something about civil rights or something. Anyway, so I saw with it for a long time. I was like, this is very whimsical and enthralling to me. Then I cracked it. It was feel good because George and Georgia, the character called George, so I put feel good in, I open it up, and it's another puzzle.

And it's two little things. But then this clue was quite strange. It was like, I was like, I haven't, I'm not a big fan of yours, but it said I, it was like, I'm not really a devoted. fan, but I know you used to do drugs. And this clue is about all the things you were running from or trying to suppress by self-medicating with drugs. So that really went like...

Can you imagine the gift that would have been given if they were a massive fan? Yes. Yes. So I was like, that's a little personal and a little flippant, but also maybe that, you know, people are, you know, and maybe they like the show feel good. I don't know. But then I open. up these little things that are inside the puzzle and there's fake cigarettes and fake joints. And I unroll them all. And the joints are made out of biblical passages from St. Paul's letters to the Ephesians, which is like, man should not lie with another man as he would with a woman. You should not drink wine. It's like the most kind of evangelical strict stuff. So I'm like, oh, I feel a little uneasy about that. And then I tape the multileged.

together because it's kind of a puzzle. And on the back of it, once I tape it together, it's like addict, shame, regret, trauma. And I'm like, oh, boy. So at that point, I'm like, oh, wow, I don't know what the intention is here. Yeah. And then there's another letter in code. And so I decoded that. And also the whole time, I'm like, should I just stop doing this? But I can't because I love a puzzle. Sure. Oh, my God. Do you know how quick. that would have been in the trash for me. But they went to so much trouble, but it was sort of in bad taste

because I was like, I now have this jar of fake joints made out of Bible passages. You know what I mean? But listen. And then also in their letter, they were like, this probably wasn't received well or something.

So it was like they knew that I was going to be unsettled by. But that's sort of, I've been spending a lot of time going through 99% of the things are so thoughtful and amazing. And this was very thoughtful. Very thoughtful. Yeah.

But it was sort of eerie as well. Yeah. It just, all it does is remind me of how much I hate a game and a puzzle. Really? Yeah. I see, I loved the puzzle element of it, but it was just seeing addict in big letters and like, yeah. Because it was like all of these things that you're running from, they add up to one thing. And the answer was addict.

And I was like, okay. Anyway, on with my day. Moving on to my dream catchers. Yeah, yeah. But it was, it's a nice being off tour. But I do sort of, I'm now daydreaming about how I would do it next time. How you would do your tour next? Yeah, what I would change about it.

What would you change? Everything. No, I just would maybe. No bus. I think I might do bus again, you know, but I would just do shorter stints with long breaks in between because there is something nice about feeling like you're camping out with your friends. But yeah, I wouldn't be doing weeks at a time on the bus for sure. I would just do like long weekends or something. I can't imagine like the trouble I have sleeping when I travel now.

If I were on a bus, I feel like I'd be camping. And there were these friends of mine that I ran into who are the wives of old friends of mine from the comedy world. Yeah. And it was interesting because I've also, I've had some like really hard, stressful work things going on, like overwhelmingly hard, stressful. Oh, yes. We need to catch up off pod.

I need to hear all this, but. It's just, it's producer things that I'm just like, I don't know that I can, I don't know that I have the nervous system for these kind of things. Yes, this like logistical juggling and just business, business, business stuff. Anyway, and it's, it's hard. Why was I saying that? Oh, you bumped into the wives of old friends here. Yeah. And, okay, thanks. And I would, I, we all missed, we happen to be on a flight. We missed our connecting flight. We were delayed. We were on the tarmac. We were seated by each other. We had such, a carefree, it could have been hell, you know, but we had this fun carefree connecting time

in our delayed flight and like laughing and not talking about anything entertainment related, just silliness. And they have this yearly camping trip they do with this group of women. You know, it's like 15 women that go. And they were, they kept saying, you need to join us, you and Stephanie. And I was like, well, first of all, Stephanie will never camp anywhere. That's not going to happen. It will never happen. And I was like, I was sitting there thinking like, I would love to do that. But I don't know if I could sleep. I know. I don't know if I could sleep if I was camping. But the joy that they were experiencing and they do it every year and the laughs I was having with them. Yeah. It was so nice. It was just.

It would be worth a couple of nights of no, but sleep is so precious. And then don't you find, like I really found this on tour and you must find it all the time because you struggle to sleep. Like people, their empathy runs out for it. Like they sort of lose and you're like, I can't explain really that I haven't slept more than four hours for a week. And it's, I feel crazy. And people are like, oh, yeah, sleeping's hard. and you're like, you don't get it. Yeah. Like, I know I look fine, but I'm hanging on by a thread.

Like, it makes you so emotional. And you're expected to learn, like, when I'm touring, and then I'm also working up to filming something and I'm having to learn lines. Yeah. And I'm traveling. And I'm on different time zones. And I haven't slept. And I have these zooms about production stuff that's so stressful.

I'm like at a party or a taping or on stage like I'm giving it all I've got but I'm struggling. I'm struggling. Yeah, but my mind is fracturing. Yeah. Yeah, like deeply fractured. I'm here on three hours and I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. And also, meanwhile, I've got a great life.

And I really don't want to complain because I'm a lucky, lucky ducky. Yeah, I feel that too. But also you're just one little body, you know? I am one little body, and I'm doing my best. And, you know, when I'm home on longer runs, I'm sleeping pretty well these days. But when I head off into the world, it's tough. And no CPAP these days. Got rid of the CPAP and just really focusing on keeping my schedule as close to what it is

in L.A. when I'm gone just so I can ease back in. And I don't stress when I'm out late on the East Coast because I'm like, that's a normal time in L.A. Oh, that's good. Yeah. So, but anyway, enough about that. Should we get into our questions? Let's do it. Let's do it. Hello, handsome pod. This is Justin from Essex, Massachusetts. I have a question for you. and my question is at what age did you officially feel that you had reached adulthood? Good question. Oh, man, I mean, I'm only maybe feeling that in the past two years probably. Yeah, maybe, maybe meeting poverty and living with Parvonama for that.

That was a big, well, it boosted my confidence. where I thought. Yeah. Yeah. So that was, but I still have days where I feel really adolescent. Everyone must, right? Driving really changed everything for me. Just optically.

I see myself. I catch a glimpse of myself and a reflection. I'm driving my car past a store and I think there goes a big boy. Just that big boy is just rolling down the road. Yeah, rolling down the road. Checking Allstate. First, could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking my itinerary before I head to Europe for some shows.

How do I say, oh, no, in Dutch? I forgot to book a hotel room in Amsterdam, and now I'm scrambling to find something last minute. Yeah, check in first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary. Subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. How about you, Teng? I... sometimes when I feel most adolescent is when I'm really having a deep, silly laugh with someone. Yeah. But in general, I've felt, I think, like an adult, I think my life just changed so deeply after I was sick. And so, yeah, it was like around the 40, 41 time when I was getting sick, was sick when I was sick, when I was sick, losing my. mother and all of that stuff and coming back from just the depths of hell and um and taking life

more seriously in the ways that it called for uh that i wasn't doing and um i wasn't taking my career seriously i wasn't i wasn't taking my health seriously i wasn't taking my relationships romantic relationships, I just didn't take very seriously. Even if I fell for someone or enjoyed them, I wasn't, I was just always like, well. Nurturing the relationship and caring for it. Yeah, yeah. And even friendships, I didn't step back and go, God, I'm lucky to have you. Yeah.

I am so appreciative. And I think all of those things of, of really getting that perspective and holding on to it has made me feel like an adult. And of course, getting married and having children and being so devoted to, this is a tough time, but nobody else I'd rather have the toughest time with.

Or, you know, enjoy and worry about our children. But also the greatest times with stuff. All of that stuff, just like, I'm in it. I'm in it. And it matures you. Yeah. And that thing of going to the depths and then coming out again, that's like the classic hero journey, right?

You go deep down and then you retrieve something. You come back with some gem of depth or wisdom. Yeah. I would feel insane if I came through those different, bumps in my life and just felt still deeply carefree and removed, there would be something terribly wrong with me, I think. It can be kind of alienating sometimes when you've been through something so extreme and then not everyone can hold it, you know, and I've felt that in my teens and stuff like after like people sort of recoiling from the depth of it or what are the

intensity of having to talk about it or feel it. And then it makes you gravitate towards other people with that depth, I think. Well, yeah, it's like even a friend of mine, he's been struggling with his health the past three months, like deeply, deeply struggling with his health. And he texted me yesterday saying that his surgery was successful. And then he went into the details that he's been going through that he no longer he had these tubes removed he had this you know he no longer has to do this and that and I was saying to him yeah it's like when you're really sick or you're hospitalized people just put this and no it's nobody's fault but they put this blanket idea of like yeah they're sick yeah but when you break down the details of hell that he's been going through

is invasiveness the and the inability to take a deep breath because of what's going on with his lungs and just having shallow, shallow breaths every day for three months. And you can feel it from him. He's just so thankful for the support and coming through it. And there's no way he's not going to have a very different perspective in this life. But anyway, that's when I felt like I matured. That makes sense. Do we hear Justin's answer? Yeah. I am 36. Have a good career, a great husband, a wonderful dog. We're actually out for a walk right now. And there are times where I still feel like I'm 12 years old. All right. Thank you, handsome. I appreciate you all. Keep it handsome. I mean the middle school age that is where I go if I'm feeling insecure like I yeah I went to an event with I want to actually I'll talk about it on the main pod but I'll say like I went to an event with poverty and so they wanted a picture of us and then I just in my body suddenly felt like I was in middle school and I was like please look in this picture please look in this picture and I was posing for the picture just too just we're smiling it's a nice picture and then I see on online all these comments like May's body language is not good. May looks not happy in this picture.

I'm like, no, I just was so tense and like thinking about wanting to look good in the picture that I do look like I just met poverty. That reminds me when I was on, did I talk to you about or maybe I showed you this picture when I was on Drew Barrymore's show when we're hugging. I look like I've not ever interacted with a human being before. Like the robotic distance when I'm touch. And it's of course highlighted because she is Drew Barrymore and she is so touchy-feely. And I'm like. Yeah.

And I'm just like, hello, Drew. Good to see you. It is the weirdest picture I've ever seen in my life of human contact. Can you send it? I will send you. Yes, indeed. I will send it. Right.

Let's hear another one. Oh, yes. Let's, let's, let's. Hi, Fortune, May and Tick. It's Amy from Brooklyn, New York, originally from Ateiro, New Zealand. I have a question for you related to film or television. When you're watching something, is there anything about a production that sometimes seems off or wrong? And once you notice it, you just can't let it go. You see it all the time. I'm really interested in your answers as entertainment insiders. Thank you.

So often for me, I'm taken out of, out of, you know, just the world of the thing by some, I mean, I just watched this movie Dead of Winter with Emma Thompson, who I love. And it looks like my kind of movie because it was like this woman in Alaska, or she's in the middle of a snowy ice place, and she sees that a girl has been kidnapped, and it's up to her.

And she's like a kind of Fargo. Esk woman and there were so many massive plot holes. It made no sense this movie. It was so wild and I couldn't follow it and then you could tell in the edit that big things had been taken out or it just made no sense. And then yeah, that's the end of that story. And so that's what she's asking is like when we're watching something? Yeah, like is there something that takes you out like continuity or like um i mean and emma thompson was great in this movie but well i i mean there are some writers or directors that shall remain nameless yeah that are so so popular yeah and i i feel their writing and directing too much uh i can feel that they're writing and directing too much uh i can feel

that they're trying to have a style. And I understand some people just have a style, but it, or when I'm watching, I've watched their stuff. Yeah. I feel like I'm reading a script. Like I can see, I can see it. Or I've seen, okay, oh, perfect example. I was flying back to L.A. yesterday.

And I looked across the aisle. And this man was watching something on Bravo, and it was clearly a reality show where, you know, blonde women were drinking wine or champagne. And then something was happening. And then they were clearly being interviewed about what was happening before. And I was just like, I had to turn away. I was like, oh my God. Like I can't watch this. I can see this. that this is not really happening. Oh, even from just watching on someone else's screen, you could see that kind of, yeah, I know that I can feel the, um, the setup from the, producers. Yeah,

where they're just like, okay, you guys look like you're celebrating right now and that you're having fun. And that's that whole thing that goes back to the Instagram element of like, everything is curated. People are, this is, this is the best of time.

this is my best picture. This is the highlight of my life. This is the, and I, you know, again, as I've said before, maybe I'll be TikTok TIG tomorrow. But I just, I'm so rejecting that. And that was such an example of when I was watching it, I was thinking, like, I know what they're saying behind the camera. They're like, okay, guys, and then let's lift your glasses and let's look like everybody's having a good time right now. And you know, and it's, and I just, I can't, I can't. That reminds me of this. I used to be friends with someone. I mean, I'm not friends with them now, but this is when I lived in England.

And I would see pictures of them and be like, God, their life looks fun because in all the pictures, their mouth is open. They're kind of screaming at a party. It was like, wow. And I was like, whoa, fun. And then I was at a party and someone said, let me get a picture of you guys with, with this person. And I see that she is just going, like opening her up. but no sounds coming out.

So she's just pretend screaming. And all that time, I thought that they were catching her, like, right in the middle of a big scream. But it was just her. And so in the photo, I'm just like smiling neutrally. And she's like, but there was no sound coming out. Foley. Those are those things. Like when you see people in those pictures and you see them in real life taking a picture, they have their go-to looks.

They have their go-to responses. and it's just like wanting to show I'm having a great time always. And I know that's what a lot of social media is about. But it's, it's, I just feel so bad for kids who don't know that that's not real. And so they think, God, my life must be really sad. But adults don't know it's real either. I know you're right. You're right.

It's not just children. Adults are like, I'm jealous. I want to be at that party. I want to be on a vacation on that island. I want to be whatever it is that they're seeing. And I'm sure people are having a great time on that island and that boat and that all of those things that they're doing. Yeah.

But they're also probably fighting with their husband. Totally. You know, their kid is not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just,

you have to, you know, take it for what it is and realize that they're also having the same conflicts and issues that you are. And then you're right about the director thing. Like I, I mean, I'll name names. I'm going to say that I love the Royal Tenen bombs and a couple of those early West Anderson movies I love.

And then now it feels like a parody of a Wes Anderson movie. It's like it's so mannered and they don't have the same heart or something. They're not as affecting because it's all about the color scheme and the quirky music. And yeah, that happens a lot, I think, where someone becomes. celebrated for one style and then they end up just doing a version of that that isn't as authentic. Yeah. Oh, another thing is just hair styles and things or wardrobe where you go, no one would wear that or no one would have their hair like that. Right. You can see the stylist, the wardrobe person being like, okay, they're going to wear a puffy vest and a. Yeah. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. No more puffy vests than Hollywood. My answer to this question is it doesn't ever look like people have liquid in the cups they're holding. They're waving the cups around. It's always in cop shows. They've got hot coffee. It's clearly never hot coffee. And I think they need to put some kind of liquid in the cups to make it look like a little weighty. Once I see it, I can't not see it.

It's everywhere. I love you guys. It's the best part of the week. Thank you so much for doing what you do. Bye. Thank you, Amy. Yes, fill those cups up. Fill those cups up because it's that hard. Also, when people turn the lights off at night in their bedroom and then it's blue light, like bright blue artificial light. Do you know what drives me nuts is on TV and film, nobody ever says goodbye on the phone?

You're right. People are like, okay, I'll be there. Yeah. And then they just hang up. At what time? Where? Where are we meeting? Yeah. Yeah. But they never say goodbye. That's so true. Ever. Ever. All right. I'm going to tell you where I'm going to be. Please do. Yeah, I'm going to be in Los Angeles working out my new stuff. Rochester, New York, Colorado Springs, Calgary, come on out to Calgary, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia, and the road goes on forever. I'm hitting the minor markets right. now, mainly minor markets, some major markets peek in there. And then I'll be adding more dates. Go to tignotaro.com and I will hit the major markets soon and potentially beyond. Check out maymartin.net for any random tour dates, but also just, I would love if people

listen to my music on Spotify, wherever you get your music, so I'm writing a new album. That's exciting. Good. I wait to hear it. And please continue to submit your questions and advice request to speakpipe.com slash handsomepod and get our new merch at handsomepod.com. There's great stuff on there. Yeah, and until next time. Keep it pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tignitaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wulet. Email us at HandsomePod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at HandsomPod.

What a what! What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the rules before I play laser tag? My mistake. Now I'm getting sternly reprimanded by the teenage manager for running in the maze. Yeah, checking first is handsome.

So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings varies, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company, and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.