Handsome - Rob Delaney asks about eating food

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

Rob Delaney ("Catastrophe", "Dying for Sex") asks Handsome a hilarious question about eating record amounts of food, and his answer will have you buzzing! Plus Tig and Fortune sharing a room together on the road, Biggie's origin story, exploring the truth of "an apple a day," and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Handsome pot. Handsome pot. Handsome pot. Handsome pot. Handsome pot. Handsome pot. Handsome Pod, chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod, chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers! Hello and welcome to another episode of the Handsome Pod. I'm your pal, Mae Martin, joined by... Tig Notaro, who is also your dear pal, and who else do we have sitting right here? Another pal, Fortune Feimster? Don't you think if if your alarm clock was the handsome theme you'd have a good morning. Oh for sure

Hopefully people figure out how to do that Yeah, is that actually your alarm? No, I was just, you know, pretending like it was. I told a lie. This is our first pod back after our live shows. Yeah. It is indeed. We got a lot to process.

It was so incredible. It was really great. We had over, let's see, 5,500 handsome fans. Austin, 2400. Oh, you're saying total? 2400 in Nashville. People that drove from, I heard from so many people that drove

from all these places. It was really amazing. Yeah, it was my first time in the South as well. Loved it. Which did you connect more with Nashville or Austin? I think, I think, I don't want to alienate one of them. You're going to give me a lot of hate mail. I think I had a great time in both. They were very different. I went out with Thomas in Nashville after the show to a lesbian karaoke bar. They went to the Lipstick Lounge,

one of the few lesbian bars left in our country. And we did announce at the show that May was going. Yeah, I said I was gonna. It was pretty packed and wild, right? Yeah, it was a good, it was clearly me just needing some validation, being like, guys, I'm going to this bar after the show. And did you get the validation that you wanted?

Yeah, people were super nice, it was great. And did you find anyone special? You know, I did, I actually did connect with someone, but I guess I'll probably never see her again unless I'm in Nashville, but I guess I'll probably never see her again unless I'm in Nashville, but. Oh, yeah, a pen pal. Yeah, I didn't hook up or anything, but I had a nice little sparkly vibe.

You kept it handsome. I kept it pretty handsome, yeah. There you go, nice. Thomas and his wife were there. Telling you how we're boring. Lots of people asking Thomas for pictures too, it was great. Oh my gosh, Thomas is a real star. Well, we sang Third Eye Blind together.

Look at that. What song? Semi Charmed Life. Mm, of course. And I sort of, I think I was, I'd had enough drinks that I thought, I look pretty cool doing this. And then I saw a video that someone posted and I look like a manic 12 year old.

That's what karaoke's supposed to be like though. Yeah, right? Yeah, you're supposed to be cool. What did Thomas sing? That with me. And did his wife chime in too? Or was it just the two of you duetting? The three of you?

Laura chimed in, yeah. Wow. But I really- Laura sang Linda Ronstadt too. Really, after I left? Yeah. By herself? Wait, you and Laura kept hanging out at the lesbian bar?

Yeah. Yeah, we're wild. How long were you there, May? I was there till I missed my flight the following morning. I think I got home about one and ate some tacos in bed and yeah. Did anyone ask where Tig and I were? Everybody, everybody.

Not one question. When you say, Fortune, that you and I were being boring, what do you mean? Like we didn't go out, we just went back to our hotel. Yeah, we share a room together when we're on the road. We both put our eye masks on. We're just decompressing from the night, so that was fun, because we were putting on our night the night. So that was fun.

As we were putting on our night gowns. And spooning. Yeah. And I'm picturing, you know in movies when they turn off the bedroom light and it's still clearly lit, but just blue light. I'm picturing that. Yeah.

Well, I had, it was great seeing you guys in your element in the South. Like it was, yeah, did you have fun? You mean in our element in the South, meaning singing All My Exes Live in Texas with Charlie Sexton? Yeah, that was awesome in Texas. Let's give everyone a recap for those who didn't know.

At the national show, we had a surprise guest, Ginger Feimster, my mother. We had Brad Paisley and Kimberly Paisley, Kimberly Williams Paisley came out and Brad sang some amazing songs about the three of us. Brad is a major country music star. Kimberly is an amazing actor. Yeah, amazing actor. They were both so funny.

Oh my God. Yeah, and there was something really nice about like, with everything going on in the world and in the South, to be there and there's this queer community and then to have a country music star come out and be such an ally like that, like just effortlessly, I don't know, it felt really nice. Yeah. It was pretty special. It was really, really cool.

Very touching. What were his songs called again that he improvised? One was about the bear portal for me. The bear portal for you. He improvised a song for each host. Yeah. TIG was the dumpster tits, right? Of course, of course.

I was the big old gams. Big old gams, yeah. And I showed off my gams. Big old gams. Big old gams. Yeah old gams, yeah. And I showed off my gams. Big old gams. Big old gams. Yeah, it was so fun. And then an audience member, a fan of the Handsome Pod surprised us each with a pair of boots. Cowboy boots.

Cowboy boots. So we had some pretty cool moments in Nashville. Has anybody worn their boots since? Not yet, but I will. I'm gonna find a two-step in place and wear them. I'll come with you. I will too. I think Thomas will as well.

Yeah, great. Then in Austin, it was amazing as well. We had Charlie Sexton. Charlie Sexton is like an iconic Texas rock star who also has been Bob Dylan's guitar player forever and also Elvis Costello. I mean, he's like, he's no joke, this guy. No joke.

He rolls deep in the music business. Yes, he does. And May has frozen. And I think that's how impressed May is with Bob Dylan and Elvis Costello. That's right. May. So yeah, Charlie was a legend. Caitlin Riley, very, very funny comic.

And then we, our surprise for that was, um, Tig arranged for us to have a tap dancing lesson on stage. Yes, indeed. We did a tap dancing lesson live in Austin. Did anyone notice that I just? Oh, yeah, we just kept going. We thought you were having trouble comprehending Charlie Sexton for way too long. Oh yeah, I was frozen with my mouth open. Okay, cool. Truly, you were like, oh.

That would be really sad if no one noticed that I logged out and then logged in again. And the whole audience in Austin saying, stand by me with us, which was a pretty incredible moment. So there was really amazing- Did we talk about the tap dancing? We did, but we can go back to it. Sorry. I think that brought out a really bad part of my personality.

Like why? I was so desperate to be like the model student and to get it right and to pay attention. And I was like sweating and just, I kept trying to catch her eye, the teacher, and be like, I'm listening. Even if the other two aren't, I'm with you. I'm paying attention.

I was acting a fool in the corner just pretending to smoke a cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. I was not the star student. When dance lessons or dance moves are presented as like, oh yeah, no big deal, you just do this with your left foot, then right, then left, then back, and then over,

and then click, click, and the delivery is as though this is nothing. And it seems like really easy stuff, but I was like, I cannot do this. And once I realized I couldn't do it, then I just went rogue, which I think is kind of my personality now that I think about it. You know, it reminds me of when I was younger in school

and it's like, oh, I don't know what we're talking about. X plus Y minus A3, like nevermind, I'm gonna. Do my own thing. I'm gonna go, yeah, I'm gonna just wander outside. But yeah, it was so fun. I feel closer to you guys. I felt like I learned a lot about your pre-show vibes. I know we've done live shows before,

but these were our biggest. Tell us about the pre-show vibes. Tell us what you learned. Well, it was interesting. It was like, for both shows, I think, yeah, because everybody's got their own pre-show kind of ritual or vibe. It felt to me like fortune was kind of holding court,

social, like people are coming in, Fortune's talking to them, there's like, you know, guests. You're talking about in the green room. In the green room before the show, yeah, yeah. And Fortune's like, made sure there's a cheese plate, is like making sure everyone feels good and happy. Tig, you're like already on in that you are acerbic

and witty, like you're ready to go and being hilarious. And then I felt like I was like, at one point I went to the bathroom and closed the door and just did 10 push-ups. I'm like, I gotta get him game ready. I don't know how you guys are so chill. You need like a minute to yourself? Maybe, I mean. Just to like process what's happening.

I just. But wait, I saw you do pushups in the green room. So you did them in the bathroom and then again in the green room? Yeah, yeah. And then in Austin you did them on stage and had me sit on your back. That was a good one.

That was impressive. Even though you only pushed me up a couple of times, it was still impressive. Just doing one impressed me. I mean, doing one without another human on my back would be an absolute miracle. My arms were quivering and I kept thinking afterwards, like what would have happened if my arms gave out

and I just broke my nose? I think I would have trucked along. Oh no. Worth would have pushed her. Worth it. Worth it. I also was trying to get us to have like a show order and figure out, you know, I was like, Tig, this is what, when you're like, who cares? But this is what we need to do. This is, and then on stage you're like, what's next? What do we do? What do we do?

Be glad you were never one of my teachers. As long as one of us knows what's going on, that's fine. Yes, totally. Do we even need to know? Well, the Austin show was pretty long and I kept saying we got to move on and it would make you more defiant and you'd be like, now I'm gonna talk more. Yeah, you were.

We're gonna do seven more questions. Rebelling, yeah. But that's the beauty of the show. It just unfolds naturally and fun and silly. And you never know what you're gonna get. And it's a wild ride. There were so many handsome people in the audience who had made homemade merch that I was really impressed with. Like there was a, or you got in the airport, a old dead-eyed biggie

t-shirt. Tig, is that right? Yes, I was about to board my flight and this woman came running up and she was all winded. I don't know how long she had been chasing me because I'm not a fast walker. I don't know how long she had been chasing me because I'm not a fast walker. But she was like, Tig, Tig, here, I wanted to give this to you. And it was just a picture of dead eyes. How dare they? I liked that she had just been carrying it around

in the airport, like in her hand, like I guess. Yeah, thinking she might see me, I guess. I saw tons of handsome merch in the airport. I was like looking around and seeing sweat shirts and we have this new really cool I don't know what you would call it It's like the most that why the metal white shirt with the oh like a baseball. It was the white shirt with the blue collar Yeah, that sure I saw everywhere the one Brad Paisley was wearing. Yeah, it just says hands It's a new t-shirt that we just put on our merch site

It's good. It's really good that one and there's like a heavy metal looking handsome shirt. That's really cool now May fortune and I were talking about how exhausting the road can be and how hard it is to like make plans or see friends or Family sometimes you seem to have absolutely no problem. You're like out singing karaoke or you know doing your May stuff. Do you find it hard when you're... I wonder how it would be if I was in a city that I'd been to a lot before but I think because they were just sort of one-off shows I had and I'd never been to those cities. I went to the Johnny Cash Museum in Nashville, and I saw the marbles that he used to play with

when he was a little boy, and now I can't, I know I've mentioned them like 20 times to you guys. I can't stop thinking about how I want those marbles, or how I should get my own marbles or something. I'm like, there's something magical about marbles. Wouldn't you agree? Yeah. Absolutely. I love that you made the most of your time there. Yeah, yeah, thanks. Well, I'm trying to get my mojo back.

May have breakfast the next day in Austin. That was lovely. Thanks for the invite. I figured you were, what did I figure you were doing? You were gone. It was a late breakfast. No, I was with my childhood friend. I had spent time in Houston with her shutting down my parents' storage space.

And then she and I drove into Austin. And so she's who I was with on my free time. And to me, that's relaxing, because I've known her since we were in elementary school. And we don't run out of things to say. And she's listening right now. In fact, she's you met her backstage in Austin. Yeah, she was lovely. And I said, What was little TIG like? And she said pretty much this. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know to check that the squirrel living next to your house is okay with being called

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that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.comcom booking.yeah. My friend of 20 years was at the Nashville show. And same with her. It's very relaxing. Yeah, it's so nice when you can just chill. Just unmask like you really don't have to be on. But those people remind you who you are or of like your core essence that hasn't changed. And yeah, you tap into your like child sense of humor. I like it. And now I'm very curious,

and I think I asked this backstage, but does it interest the two of you to actually do a proper handsome tour? I feel like I got the bug. Yeah. Got the bug, I definitely wanna do more shows for sure. Yeah, because I've always, I don't know, I've always dreaded touring.

I don't like touring alone, I think. Like my agent just texted me and was like, hey, you should do a standup tour yourself, but let's find a way to do it so you don't get sad. I was like, oh, is that like a known fact that I get sad when I'm on my own? So I think if you just spread dates out and not do like, I don't, I think the tour I'm doing would make you very sad. Right.

Cause you're just always on the move. I mean, yeah. Three to four cities in a weekend. Mainly because comedy makes you sad. Oh, exactly. But you enjoy doing your live show in Austin, right? May you had a weekend. And mainly because comedy makes you sad. Oh, exactly. But you enjoyed doing your live show in Austin, right? May, you had a blast. I loved, yeah, and I was doing new stuff

and I had a question bucket for the audience and they were asking the most personal questions and I was really oversharing and then telling everyone, please don't tweet this. Please don't tell people the secrets I'm sharing. Did anyone tweet anything? I know you looked. Someone tweeted a picture of me and then was like, don't worry, May, I won't tweet about what you said. It was almost like a little threat. But they did hold back.

Hilarious. I think if you started with some of the big major cities, that would be a good thing. Like do a Chicago, do a New York City. But see, I have to say- I've done that. You've already done that on your stand up? I haven't done Chicago, but Tig, are you going to say the smaller? I feel like the smaller markets are so off the charts excited because they get skipped over a lot. And there's always this vibe of like, oh my God, thank you for coming to Fargo or thank

you for coming to Iowa City or thank you. You know, and it's just like, not that people in the major cities don't appreciate it, but people that are in slightly more minor markets, I feel like, are just so over the top psyched. I don't know. That's what, like I never ever thought I would be like, I really wanna do a tour of small towns in the South, but that's how I feel, yeah.

After this tour, after these. Maybe run by, run some of those by me first. Okay. Yeah. The warmth was amazing. And would you tour with somebody? Are you gonna be in the green room by yourself or would you bring an opener?

Doing pushups. Yeah. I guess I would bring an opener for, yeah, I think I would bring an opener. It was fun doing the music shows because I had the band and yeah, yeah. I think maybe I found that that's the, that's what I need. Wait, did I tell you guys, speaking of bringing openers and green rooms, did I tell you what happened?

I was hosting the podcast awards. Did I tell you? No, no, you haven't told us. Oh my Lord. Okay. Did I tell you? No, no, you haven't told us. Oh my Lord. Okay.

You know, the green room is supposed to be like a private, you know, that's where you kind of get yourself together and unwind or whatever it is. Before I was hosting the podcast awards, I was in my green room by myself and I had my little spread of food that is part of my contract, right? A guy walked in without knocking or saying who he was, which is very off putting. And he had his eyes and this, by the way, the story is not going where you think it is. His eyes totally focused

on the food on the table and he's walking over and he barely glances at me and he goes are you finished? Are you finished with your food? And I was like oh no like the award show hadn't started and I said no because in my mind I'm thinking I'm not planning on eating until I finish my monologue and then I can kind of relax a little more. And so, you're in your head, you're like getting ready to do what you're there to do and some random person walks in and he's like,

he goes, okay, is somebody else gonna be eating this food with you? And I know and I see they're going, I'm like, no, it's just me. And he's like, okay. And he said, what did he say? He goes, okay, well, I'm probably gonna need to throw this out.

What? Right. And I go, wait, what are you talking about? And then I thought, oh my God, I'm being pranked. This is a total prank show. I am being pranked. And I said, what do you mean you're going to need to throw this out? And he said, well, you know, you just don't want to have food sitting out for too long.

You know, it can go bad or, um, and I was like, I was like, I'm, I said, I'm hosting this award show. This was in my contract. Yeah. I said, what'm hosting this award show. This was in my contract. Yeah. I said, it's going on. Yeah. I was so confused. And he said, yeah, well, listen to this. It could also get bugs.

It could also draw some bugs onto the food. And I'm like, on what plan? I've been performing almost 30 years. I have never had to deal with my food all of a sudden becoming rotten or bugs. Yeah. And fasted with bugs. And I said, listen, I said, I'm going to go ahead and take a chance here and just tell you I'm good with the food and you can step, I mean, no clue who this man is, right? And then after a beat, he says, honestly, it's just, it's been a long day and I'm just ready to go home.

Oh, he just wanted to clean up so he could leave? He just wanted to clean up, throw my food out and leave. Oh my God. I was like, get out of here. I mean, listen, I am not somebody that's wanting him to be working over any sort of normal amount of hours or doing anything inappropriate or, but A, you don't have a name tag.

I don't know who you are. You just walked in the green room and you're wanting to throw my food out. But it's also like, this is not my problem. Go find somebody that can like relieve you and not throw my food out. You're like, I'll throw it out, bud, we're good. I know, or I'll eat it.

I'm gonna eat it in like 30 minutes. It's not like in the next 30 minutes, all of my food is gonna be like full of bugs and rotten. You know? It's like he said to his supervisor, I really wanna go home and they said, as soon as that food's gone, you can go home. So like, how weird.

It was so crazy and I called my assistant and I was like, hey, some guy, I told her the whole story and I said, I don't trust that he's not going to just walk into the green room and throw my food out or go through my thing. Like I had my backpack, my phone, everything back there. Imagine if like you sat down to eat, get your food and the waiter is like, can you move a little faster? I got to get out.

Are you done with this?, can you move a little faster? I gotta get out. Like are you done with this? Or can you move faster? Bugs are gonna start covering your foot, like swarming your foot. It was so crazy. That is wild. It was so crazy. It reminds me of this TikTok trend that's happening where these wives are telling the waitresses

to take the husband's plate away before they're, oh, they've only eaten a couple of bites. Oh, and just to see the reaction of the husband. That is so funny. These guys are eating, and like three bites in, the waitress comes and grabs their thing, and they're like, ah, that's great. I don't know why, but it makes me laugh so hard.

That's so funny. It's like, and the waiter's like, I'm sorry, I've just had a long day. I'm ready to go home. I'm gonna throw your food out. Anyway, it's too good. Guys, can I quickly show you something? Is this your new home?

Oh, this is my new house, yeah. But this is the reveal that now they're not mine forever, but I don't know if you can see, there are two tiny puppies. Oh, I'm a biggie. I haven't seen them in three weeks. Oh, biggie. They're two tiny, they're five week old pit bull puppies.

My friend is fostering them. They were found under a bridge and then she had to work today. So I'm like their stepdad and guys, they're called Burton Ernie. It's like, they smell like babies. Like they're so cute. And I'm sorry, they're five weeks. They're tiny. They couldn't be in the shelter even because I don't know, they're not vaccinated and there was some... Oh, like the cough or something. Wait, they're anti-vax. They're anti-vax. Oh no. Are they cuddly? Republicans.

They sleep so much like babies and they just want to be loved and then they'll suddenly have a burst of energy and I'm in love with them. It makes me miss Biggie. I haven't seen him in like three weeks. Oh, little Biggie. Biggie as a puppy must have been next level.

I don't know, we didn't have him as a puppy. We rescued him. Was he under a bridge? He was found wandering about with another dog. We don't know how long he was on the loose. I can tell you how long. Probably like what, two minutes? Yeah, at most.

Yeah, because he wouldn His family took a right turn. He took a left turn. Somebody was like, he wasn't chipped. It wasn't neutered. He was around three years old. Wow. Oh man. Maybe he was on his way to his birthday, his third birthday party. But I wonder who the other dog was that Biggie was with, like a lover? It was, I think they met up. Are you making up Biggie's rescue story for him? Yeah, I think they met up.

He can't tell us what happened, but. I know what happened. I'm just assuming he met up with somebody. His family turned right, he turned left, and he had a meat cute bumped into this other dog, and then he got swiped up, and then the other dog is under a bridge somewhere. Oh my God.

They don't release them for a couple weeks. They give people time to try to find their pets if it's an accident. My thing is I've let them run around the whole house, and my friend, Alana, who's fostering them was like, they're gonna poo at some point, you just pick it up and I feel like they have somewhere but I can't. What is she, an animal expert?

Well, she's having fun. They are gonna poop, just so you know. At some point they will poo. But I feel like they have and I just don't know where and I'm gonna find it, that's how I feel like they have and I just don't know where and I'm going to find it. That's how I feel. Wait, what do you mean? Did they just arrive today?

Yeah. Yeah, maybe it's just watching them for the day, right? Yeah, just for the day. Atlanta's had them for like two weeks. Oh, they're cute. They arrived for the day and they were running around for a while and I was on a call and I think they've pooed somewhere. I stepped in poo early, early, early days.

It's not great, barefoot. Oh my God. You don't like that? That's not your thing? So disgusting. It's a sensation I'll never forget and it was disgusting. Now, tell me this, are Bert and Ernie, they're God given names or did you-

They're Christian names. Yeah, or in Atlanta, did y'all name them? Well, they were christened Bertram and Ernest. No, I don't know. No, they were Bert and Ernie on the foster website. Okay. And then when Atlanta got there, the woman said, actually we've renamed them like Taco and Burrito.

And we were already really attached to Bert and Ernie. So we just have kept them as Bert and Ernie. And they'll answered anything at this point. They're too little. Who they are or what the fuck is going on. That's so cute. You should come over and maybe your boys would like to meet them. They're really. Absolutely.

Yeah. That's so cute. Congrats to you and Alana. It's having a lovely day. I love it. I gotta get a dog, but. You have two. I got two right now, yeah. We can see how it feels.

It's a good practice. It feels good. I got a lot of love to give, you know? We know. We know you do. And you've gotten out there a few times. I know that it's like, I've been talking to them a lot by myself and I found myself saying, I wanna marry you to the puppies.

So I don't go spread rumors. I talk to Biggie all the time. Proposing though? No, come on now. I didn't know how to express like the eternal unconditional love I wanna give them. And I just kept going. Just say that.

Oh yeah. Did your voice change though? Cause when I talked to Big them. And I just kept going. Just say that. Oh yeah. Did your voice change though? Cause when I talked to Biggie, I'm like, hello my Biggie baby bear, I love you so much. Hey, as far as dog voices go, that one's not too. Hello my biggie baby bear. Hello my biggie baby bear, you're so cute. I've been talking to them like,

ah, I want to marry you. No, that's creepy. Yeah. No, that's creepy. Yeah, yeah, that's creepy. Maybe that's why neither have said I do. Yeah, yeah, because they're like, why is Nathan Lane's screaming at us? Sweaters, candles, a coffee mug that says, world's best mom, Mother's Day gifts can be a little predictable and boring. Named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter,

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With new McValue and McDonald's you get more than you expect. So after a long day, buy a double cheeseburger and add a McChicken for a dollar because saving with deals is always on the menu with new McValue. Prices and participation may vary. Valued for item of equal or lesser value. Should we get to our question? It's an exciting one. Let's do it. I'm very excited. I know this person from like the London comedy scene, but he's super talented. Everybody knows and loves him. One of the kindest people. Today's question asker is a comedian, actor and writer who co-created and starred in the TV show

Catastrophe. He stars as Peter in the Deadpool movie franchise and is a bestselling author whose books include A Heart That Works. He stars in the new Hulu comedy drama Dying for Sex. Rob Delaney is asking today's question. Nice. Hey, handsome. Hope you guys are all doing well. Tig, great to see you. I can see you through this. And May, great to see you. Fortune, nice to meet you. I admire you and have for a long time. Hopefully Tig and May will vouch that I'm a nice person and I'm qualified to ask a question.

My question for you guys is, what food have you eaten more than anybody else in the world? Like is there a snack, maybe a comfort snack, something from childhood, something you ate all the time out of desire, out of poverty, whatever it may be, I'd like to know what that food is, something you've eaten more than anybody else in the world.

Wow. Wow, it's so funny, I feel like I know Rob. Probably everyone feels that. Yeah. He's one of those people who has shared so much of himself in such a vulnerable way, having lost his son, um, that I followed his journey a little bit and that was so heartbreaking and he just was so raw and real and just, God, that story was so moving and sad and, and how he's dealt with it and the awareness he's brought to other people

dealing with grief. It's pretty admirable. It really is. And the way he handles everything is in this way of like nothing is off limits. You can't, there's no wrong or bad question. He just wants to be in conversation about whether it's the silliest thing in the world or the most devastating. And I've known Rob, God, decades now. And he's one of those people. And I find these people to be so fun

in that because he's just like Mr. Handsome face, he's very pulled together, you know, kind of looks like he could be a businessman. As a, you know what I mean? He, like, if you put a suit on Rob Delaney, there's no question that that guy is a businessman. As a, you know what I mean? He, like, if you put a suit on Rob Delaney, it works. There's no question that that guy is a businessman. And meeting him in the standup scene was so confusing

because you can think like, oh, this guy is just doing standup to get a sitcom or something, you know, because he's so cute or has a certain look, you know what I mean? I don't know if that's too inside baseball, but he has so many stories to tell, whether it's his sobriety or the loss of his son,

anything that he shares. And then he's also, meanwhile, the silliest person, which is also confusing, because he's so handsome, could dress him up as a businessman. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. And isn't that just the mark of like a great entertainer is that everyone feels like they know him.

Like that's- Yeah, like you want to have lunch with them. That's where you go, oh, you're good at your job. I don't know him that well, but I remember being excited that he was doing a show I was doing in Brighton on the coast in England. And then we did the show and then we both, we ended up just on the same train back to London.

And it was like, you're saying, Tig, it was like deep convo, like did not look at our phones the whole time, like just were right in there for the whole train ride. He was so nice and yeah. And meanwhile, could have his own sitcom and has done incredible. Oh, right, I mean, I guess I'm thinking back 20 years ago,

like when it was like real like laugh track sitcom, but like has run the gamut of like comedy, drama, movies, TV, standup, writing. Yeah. I know, I loved it. He was like, maybe you guys can vouch for me to fortune that I'm qualified. Like we are laying it on the fence. We're fans, we're fans.

We're fans, clearly. Have you guys seen Dime for Sex? It's really a really good show that just came out. I want to. He plays this character that is so good. Yeah. He likes to be punished. It's, Michelle Williams stars in the show

and it's about sex and she's dying of cancer and is on the sex journey. And it's the way they talk about sex and deal with sex is really funny and interesting. And yeah, he plays her neighbor and she has, she like humiliates him and bosses him around in a sexual way and it's so good. That's great.

He's been a fun one to watch. Explode. Well, yeah, but also I guess what I'm trying to say is like, you just, his career became something that I just couldn't have imagined. You what I mean and I remember in the early days when he shared about the car accident that got him sober I was like oh wow that's a very personal story and I had no idea he was like just full of that yeah right but God is he full of nonsense too.

It's crazy making. Oh man, what a treat. Yeah. Well, he's also, he's asked a very good question. Yeah. Is there anything you guys eat that has been eaten the most of, of anyone? Well, I feel like when he mentioned, you know,

for financial reasons or like when you were broke or something, my go-to was, um, white rice and a can of soup. And I would make the soup and then I would fill the bowl with white rice. So I have done this exact thing. Yeah. Tomato soup or chicken soup, any kind of soup. It would get heartier. Yeah. To just fill me up. 1 million%. Um, and so I feel like I've definitely put in my time with rice shoved into a bowl of soup. And then, um,

and then I think now on a more boring, healthy level, what are they? Broccoli sprouts, maybe I've talked about them on here. Oh yes, you love this super food, yeah. Well yeah, it's supposed to be a big cancer fighter and so I throw those into my smoothie and I've probably eaten a lot more than most people because they have a little bit of a bitter taste,

but not in the smoothie. Once it's mixed in with everything else, you don't taste it, but you get all the power. Nutrition. Yeah. That's good. I've obviously eaten a lot more ass than most people. Just kidding.

No, you're not. No, actually that's not my thing, but I have, anyway. But I have. I have. You definitely eat more than I have. So there's like my broke food. Like when you're saying that, Tig, I thought about like in there's like a year where I was in rehab in Toronto and it was a day program and I had no money and I was on welfare assistance. The reason I would go to this rehab, the thing that kept me going back at the beginning was

that everyone at lunch would get a free instant noodles and a free oatmeal packet. So I would steal those, I'd pocket them and I'd have that every day. Like the taste of that cinnamon sugar in the oatmeal packet. Oh yeah. And then I was living with this woman called Joanne in this weird apartment, and she would just sit watching Dr. Phil and smoking. And then when she would go to bed, I would sneak to the kitchen and take like a handful of her cereal, like trying not to crinkle the box.

Because I truly just, I would spend my money immediately on drugs as soon as I got it. And so then the whole rest of the month was like real scrounged. And so where did you get your money from welfare you said? Yeah, from welfare, yeah. And then you just blew it on? Well, it's so little money, so I would pay my rent with it.

And then there'd be barely any leftover and I'd either buy weed or it would go quick. But yeah, so the instant noodles and then these dry handfuls of cereal that I would like, I remember like my heart pounding in the kitchen just moving in slow motion trying to take these. Trying to get that cereal. Your heart's pounding because you don't want to be caught but also because you love that cereal so much. Because I love those or those. What cereal?

Cheerios, I think. Nothing special, nothing fancy. I haven't had cereal in so long. I hadn't either, and then once I had kids, there's usually a box of cereal in our pantry. I mean, most times. It's a pretty good snack anytime of day. Oh yes, indeed.

Are you still a Cheerios person, Mae? Yeah, yeah, there's gluten-free Cheerios now. Not that I'm gluten-free, but you know. I also, I'm curious where you stand on this. I like barely any milk in my cereal. Oh, I like a lot. I'm in the middle. Almond milk.

Oh my gosh, look at, well, yeah, I'm soy milk, I'm sweetened soy milk, but my son Finn is similar too. Like I don't like a lot of sauces or dressing or a lot of milk or I like- So you want the crunch. I do like sauces, I'm a sauce gal. Little spaghetti sauce on your Cheerios. But do you remember in the 90s, like,

I would have for breakfast cereal and then on top of the cereal, which was like Frosties or something, I would have for breakfast cereal and then on top of the cereal, which is like Frosties or something, I would pour sugar. And then you watch the sugar melt on that. Like, how was I starting my day like that? Just pure. Oh, and then scooping the sugar at the bottom of the milk.

Yes. Yeah. I think back then you could just, when you're young, you can get away with that stuff more. Yeah. But then the thing that I have eaten in general more than anyone else is applesauce, I think. My fridge is full of it right now.

It's refreshing, it's filling, just those little tubs of unsweetened applesauce. Oh, God, I don't think I've had applesauce in years either. But you like sauce, you should get into it. I know, I just never thought about it. I love apples and I do eat one every single day. Does it keep the doctor away? Well, it hasn't, but I'm trying.

You just eat them plain or do you put even like almond butter or anything with it? Yeah, I just eat an apple and sometimes I'll put a little nut butter or seed butter or something on the apple. Same with bananas, I love eating a banana and just putting a little scoop of nut or seed butter on there. How come like if you blend an apple up,

you call it applesauce, but it's not the same with other foods. Like if you were to blend bananas, is it banana sauce? Or broccoli blended is not broccoli sauce, you know? This is a really good point that you make. People are gonna write in and let us know. This is gonna be my new hour. This is as deep as Rob Delaney goes.

Yeah. Fortune, what's your ultimate food that you are like an aficionado of? I mean, I wouldn't say I've eaten this more than anyone. I don't overdo any one thing like to the nth degree. Old fashions. No, I mean, even those I only have like one every couple of weeks.

I mean, Pad Thai, I could never eat Pad Thai and not get tired of it. That's good, because when you commit a crime and you're in hiding in Thailand, you're gonna be eating just fine out there. Because when I went to Thailand, I had Pad Thai every day. So yeah, I don't think I've eaten more of it than anyone in the world, but I like it and

it never, it's something I could eat without getting tired of. I just don't because I'm not going to eat noodles all the time. What was your, oh God, I'm broke food. Yeah. When I was broke, I just didn't have, I didn't have any cooking skills. So I think it was just like frozen meals and stuff. And that, you know those Marie Callender meals? No. It was those full of, I'm sure sodium and not good for you. I like peanut butter jelly sandwich.

Oh yeah. Oh man. But that was, I think broke food was peanut butter jelly sandwiches. I feel like. That was my favorite. Broke food was peanut butter jelly sandwiches. I feel like this is the first time the three of us passionately agreed and got on the same page. Thomas, can you put it on the list? Put it on the list. They're so good. They're just simple and like... Oh, so good.

We got to eat... Sometimes on set, I'll just like after like a 16 hour day, I'll be like, can I just get a peanut butter sandwich? And it's like, oh, yes. Okay, here's the thing. Do you want it with crust or without? I'm not a big crust gal, but I don't ask them to put it on.

I mean, I don't ask them to cut it off. I don't love the crust. I love crust, I love crust. Yeah, I like being left over with a crust. That's yeah, I think I like a crust, I love crust. Yeah, I like being left over with a crust. That's, yeah, I think I like a crust, but I'm not saying no to a no crust. But yeah, that's on set. I could eat a million of those.

Oh my God. Would you ever put banana in it? Yeah. Oh yeah. They would get the stuff just for me. I was the only person that would ask for them. Oh, you know what's really good too is a grilled peanut butter and jelly.

Yeah, I know. Oh my God, yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Who knew that we'd get so passionate about a PB&J. Do you remember that peanut butter and jelly that came together, like the Goobers or whatever it's called? Oh, yeah.

Like in the same jar is peanut butter and jelly and it's swirled. Are you all a straw?, in Canada when we would film I would have to ask them to buy grape jelly. I'm trash so I like grape jelly. I like it too. But they- That's very American. They only do strawberry in Canada.

So hang on. And you can't choke down a peanut butter and strawberry. I know that it's not everyone's, not strawberry, but on set they would specifically have to buy grape jelly just for me. What a diva. Yeah, grape jelly is not a big thing there for sure. But oh man, I could do like an apricot jam.

I could do raspberry, strawberry, honey. And wait, and are you saying, fortune it's hard for you to choke down strawberry jam? I have a thing with seeds. Oh, right. Strawberry seeds. Why do I forget this about you? I care so much and yet I forget.

It's my one really weird thing that has not changed my whole life and I don't know why. And something about biting into a hard little strawberry seed gives me like a visceral or like ugh reaction. Let me ask you, where does everyone stand with marmalade? Yeah, great question. I love orange marmalade. Yeah, orange marmalade, yeah.

I like it, it's, yeah, but I like a crumpet with butter on it and then marmalade. I've never had a crumpet. It's like yeah, but I like a crumpet with butter on it. And then marmalade. It's like an English muffin. It's kind of like an English muffin. Yeah, but it's a different texture. But it's a crumpet. It's got holes in it.

Never had one. And then, oh my God, a crumpet toasted with, and it's got, yeah, holes in the butter, kind of fills the holes. Can we take a moment to acknowledge how great of a word crumpet is? Crumpet. Yeah, yeah in the butter kind of fills the holes. Can we take a moment to acknowledge how great of a word crumpet is? Crumpet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we take that for granted, I feel.

It's a good term of endearment. Hello, crumpet. Hello, how are you? I do love high tea. Yes, yes. But they've never come with crumpets, but they come with scones. I love a scone. I love a blueberry scone. Guys. Vegan, of course. High tea is like my jam. Jam.

Like grape jam. I had a moment last night where I was like going to bed and then I thought, oh god, I really want an ice cream sandwich. And then I realized I have ice cream sandwiches and I'm an adult and I can have one. That's right, bud. Yeah. You can do whatever the heck you want. Right? You eat ice cream sandwiches with your boys, right? And they sometimes want an extra one.

Is that, why do I have that memory? Yeah, yeah. They have these little- A popsicle or something. It's like an ice cream. The chocolate covered over like vanilla ice cream. Oh, I have some of those vegan from Van Luen. Have you ever had their vegan ice cream bars? Oh, I haven't because I think there's coconut in it, but Van Luen is.

Yeah, they're so the the vegan Van Luen ice cream bars, so good. Have you had Tofutti? I haven't. No. Those are good ice cream. I know it doesn't sound it, but those are good little vegan ice cream Tofutti sandwiches. That might be the little ones

that I was saying Max and Finne. Cause they went through a, but it's been a few years. They make these with oat milk. Oh, nice. I could do that. Yeah. Well, should we hear what Rob said? Yeah, let's hear what Rob says. I'm back guys, with the answer to my question. I asked what food you'd eat more than anybody else in the world. For me, that's honey nut Cheerios. I ate many warehouses of honey nut Cheerios throughout my childhood and well into adulthood. I can't eat it now because if I eat anything other than like broccoli and like lean chicken,

I will cease to operate. But I ate a lot of that stuff and I hope you did too or whatever you ate. Good luck with my question. Good luck. Oh yeah. I mean that goes back, I mean how funny that we were talking about Cheerios but man that's part, it's tricky. Like that's the cereal that's usually in our house is Honey Nut Cheerios. And it's hard to just have one bowl.

Oh yeah. It is real hard. When he said that he's eaten in many warehouses, I thought, yeah, fuck, if you could see all the food you've ever eaten in your life in one place, wouldn't that be wild? Or even I think about people that are total booze hounds. Like if you could see all of the alcohol in tanks

of what they have ingested. Yeah. I mean, holy Lord. From my teens, if I could see that in one place, that would be really freaky. And also conversely, how hilarious to see how much alcohol I've had. Yeah, yeah, yours would be like half a bottle of tequila.

Well, that was a treat to see Rob Delaney's mug and answer his question, hear his question, answer it, and find out he's had a lot of little circles. Oh, that's the other thing is Max and Finn, I was trying to teach them when they were really tiny about shapes, so we called Cheerios circles. And so for the longest time, they called their cereal circles,

and we had to be like, it's Cheerios, they're not circles. They're around the world calling them circles. But. And I guess shreddies would be squares or diamonds. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing? Are you doing another makeup? What you're with her backwards baseball cap on

is putting on shiny lip gloss with her middle finger. Is that? Get on over to YouTube and get a little peek at this pretty little lady. is putting on shiny lip gloss with her middle finger? Is that? Get on over to YouTube and get a little peek at this pretty little lady. How good do my lips look right now? How good does everything look right now? Kissable, yeah, whoa.

This is from, this is the J.Lo base-o-balm. Oh, no way. I knew something looked real fancy about you. You guys, trying not to get turned on right now. I'm trying. With my juicy lips. What makes you decide to do the hat backwards? Can we see the hat forward?

Oh yeah. Thank you. A fan gave me this in Phoenix. What does it say? It's the name of my current standup tour, Taking Care of Biscuits. Nice. That's a great hat.

You know, you should probably have a cat on your tour poster making biscuits with their little paws. Oh yeah, that would be cute. Cause our cats take care of biscuits all the time. I have these fun tour shirts that say the, and hoodies that say this, and they're a big hit. People love biscuits. People love biscuits, people love hats.

What about taking care of crumpets? Taking care of crumpets. Taking care of crumpets. Taking care of crumpets. I'm surrounded by all these beauty products that our podcast has acquired. That's how I've become this beauty influencer. It's changed your life.

I have my beauty mask. I didn't wanna do that to you guys, but there's a whole mask that I put on. Next time. Next time, yeah. Next time, please. Guys, what do you have coming up? Well, I am on this tour and hitting a lot of cities that a bunch of them, we just announced new ones, but this coming

weekend I'm in Greensboro, North Carolina, Roanoke, Virginia, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Grand Rapids, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Kansas City, Mulvane, Kansas, Vegas, Knoxville, and Asheville, North Carolina with a ton more added for the fall. I'll tell you right now that the exciting news that I can share is that Apple bought the documentary I produced called Come See Me in the Good Light that follows. Yeah, I'm so excited, so proud. The poets Andrea Gibson and Meg Fowley. It's just a really beautiful film. It won the Sundance Film Festival, the Cleveland Festival, Boulder. But it's just, it's done so well. And it's just so exciting that Apple purchased this and it will be available in the fall. We don't have an actual date yet,

but we were able to announce it yesterday. And- That's so cool. Congrats, man. It's really exciting. And then I'm gonna be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas on June 14th. And then I will be in P-Town.

I'm doing two shows August 23rd and I just, I just, I don't know if this is announced or not, but I'm doing a benefit with Emily Salyers from the Indigo Girls. We're gonna be in Ojai on May 17th. We love Emily. She's the best. And then, you know, just working on material locally in LA and when I'm in Toronto, check

me out, tignotaro.com. May 17th, I'm at Largo in LA doing new stuff and very special guests. And then go to maymartinmusic.com and you can, it's so helpful when people buy vinyls of stuff or buy the album or stream the album. I got a music album out called I'm a TV and just random little shows popping up here and there. Nice, cool. Get our merchandise at handsomepod.com. We got some great stuff there. Great new stuff. And let us know what cities we should come to

to do more handsome live shows. Where should we go? Yeah, wherever we get the most requests from, we'll head directly to you. I guess we're going to Brazil. Yeah, gladly. And also share your favorite episode with your friends and family and help us build this community.

And I don't know until next time. Keep it Keep it Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!

What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!

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Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, I'm Jessi Klein. And I'm Liz Feldman, and we're the hosts of a new HeadGum podcast called Here to Make Friends. Liz and I met in the writer's room on a little hit TV show called Dead to Me,

which is a show about murder. But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their 40s. Which can really happen, and it has happened to us. which is a show about murder. But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their 40s. Which can really happen, and it has happened to us. It's true. Because life has imitated ours. And then it imitated life.

Time is a flat circle. And now, we're making a podcast that's about making friends. And we're inviting an incredible guest like Vanessa Barrett. Wow, I have so much to say. Lisa Kudrow. Feelings, they're a nuisance. Nick Kroll. I just wanted to say hi.

Matt Rogers. I'm like on the verge of tears. So good. So good to join us and hopefully become our friends in real life? Take it out of the podcast studio and into real life. Along the way, we are also going to talk about dating. Yep.

Spousing. True. Parenting. Uh-huh. Career-ing. Yeah. And why we love film, and Louisa is the greatest movie of all time. Shouldn't need to be said. No, we said it. But it's just a true thing.

So please subscribe to Here to Make Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts, and watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Friday.