Handsome - Rob Thomas asks about extravagant indulgences

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

Certified rockstar Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 asks Handsome to name the over-the-top indulgences their younger selves would never have dreamed of... but we know it's the simple things in life that are best-- like a new episode of Handsome! Plus bush maintenance, "going nonverbal" before hitting the tub, and Tig's dainty kitchen hands!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Handsome Handsome Chatting the friends on the handsome pot Chatting to friends on the handsome pot Cheers Welcome to the handsome pod

I'm Fortune Feemster And I'm May Martin And I And I am Tignotaro And we're together On Zoom Yay Yeah

You follow us on YouTube Go look and we're all in separate places. Yeah, sadly, but all connected spiritually, as I always like to remind us all. I don't have my fake plant with me right now. Does that feel weird to you guys? A little bit, yeah.

Yeah, they're right off. But what feels weirder is I feel like May has tidied up a little bit behind the sea. Are those all of your Grammys, Emmys, Oscars? What am I saying? All my Oscars and Grammys. Yeah, I'm trying to get my place organized. I'm going to, the next step is, I don't know if you can see that crumpled gray pile. I see a lump of something.

Yeah, that's going to be. Those are curtains for that window. So soon the window behind me, which is always a source of anxiety because people walk by. Yeah. And so what will it take for you to lift the curtains up and put them on? Put them on. Well, I have it. Lift them up.

List them up and hang them. You know what I always think? Like, when I have a task to complete, I have. imagine in a movie you'd have a montage of me doing that task but my my montage would be like starting the task then sleeping then doing a bunch of other my montages are getting caught in the curtains yes and it would be like a two week a two week montage for one small task yeah I started I drilled into the wall immediately hit metal oh oh metal I hit metal wouldn't go wouldn't go in and I thought I guess I can't drill there went three inches above it started and I was like what am I

doing hit the metal again so i don't know if you got to the other side don't go up oh you know i mean there might be some kind of there might be something uh long ways yeah something long ways i would love to see you both going in like as a as a company yeah may you can't like can't go up we got to go long ways people would be in trouble if i was in charge of this uh task do you think like so imagine the three of us are given all of the materials to build a house like how could we what would we come up with

mine's not getting done I think you'll get something done but it might be it might be good not good with the I'm not handy I'm not handy like that I can figure out a few things

you trim your bush yeah dude sorry haven't you talked before about trimming your bushes in your yard i do trim a bush may that's correct and is that you do that with a big industrial bush trimmer right well it's not that big let's calm down over there tig has left her body she's just tick took off her glasses to um have a moment i did by the way i didn't start that conversation just so you know um but may you are right i do sometimes trim the

bush outside outside uh and i have a you do it outside what are we talking about now we're talking about an actual bush um i have a electric trimmer that i i can do yard work all day long but i I can't build stuff. Like what kind of yard work? You do like, like, weead, zib, zim. I mean, I don't, but I could, you know what I mean? Oh, okay, tough guy.

Mm-hmm. Because in the, I feel like when you, if you, you know, growing up in the 80s or in the 90s, a lot of your thing that you were put in charge of as a child was yard work. Yeah, to get your allowance. Yeah. Why the 80s and 90s? Yeah.

Do you see kids out there doing that now? No, you have a point. there. Well, no, but they did it in the 70s, too. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to stop. I did not include the 70s. Yeah, I'd be curious to hear from our listeners, are their kids, are they putting their kids to work in the yard still, even though it's not the 70s anymore? Yeah, the 80s or the 90s. In the old days, you would just send your kids out to now it feels like if you did that, that you'd be watching from the window or you'd be like stationed you'd be disguised as a tree meanwhile it's not like I mean I'm making up a fact here do it I was going to say it um it's not like you're hearing

that there's like some rise in kidnapping you know yeah I wonder actually what the stats are on yeah Thomas can you as far as a kid being out in the yard mowing the grass by themselves not getting snatched probably Maybe that's the- Kidnapping up or down, Thomas. But I think that's why we Maybe why we stopped Because in the 70s

There were tons of serial killers Snatching? Yeah. But do you think it was more prevalent in the 70s Or it just started kind of then And that was like Getting snatched? Or mowing lawns?

Didn't get snatched sort of start in the 70s? I think so. That was like, there were so many serial killers in the 70s in California specifically. Why? Have they ever gotten to the bottom of that? I don't know.

Oh, okay, here we go. The number of involuntary missing children cases opened each year due to circumstances like kidnapping and abductions, including non-custodial family members, fell by 27 percent from 2015 to 2022. FBI data shift. Yeah. That's good. It's reassuring to note that kidnapping cases have seen a decline in recent years. Great. Well, good.

Some good news. So the fact I was about to make up, I was just thinking it's not. like you're hearing about and I'm only you know main of course people get kidnapped I don't want anyone to think I'm saying that doesn't happen or you know violent crime happens I know that maybe they don't though because they're not out mowing the lawn everyone's inside gaming now so I'm glad we got to the bottom of this I don't know how we go yeah I know all I'm saying is just you know keep your eye on your kids don't get snatched that's right and let us know if your kids are doing the yard work or if you have a service we want to know is this a california thing

well you know what speaking of yards in california last night i went um and i don't know when this episode comes out but a lot of the houses in burbank have these Halloween displays on their lawns and you can go and um there's one called the burbank clown house that is oh i i went i have there were tons of people looking and it's just this like horrific super intricate clout horror clown display really grotesque and I was thinking man that's so cool that someone just did that for fun and they do it every year and then the more I stared at it I was like are human beings okay that this is like for fun we're looking at these like torture clowns like I don't know well I had that same feeling on I was on my morning walk in Los Angeles before I left town and walking past these

houses that have yeah yeah bloody clowns that are like a story high, like they're enormous in people's front yards. And I just, I realized I was walking through my neighborhood just being like, oh, you know, people have these, their decorations out. But then when I personalized it and imagined myself putting up a bloody, like four bloody clowns in my yard. Yeah. That, that's what I was feeling. I was, yeah. What is that? I can't, I would be like, oh I don't know this is a little disturbed I don't know if I can do it yeah who lives in these houses yeah but there was a palette cleanser one which was a Disney house that had um that had Mickey and you could line up and get a picture with Mickey in front of the house and it was really cool and then um I said to

someone who who do you think lives here and then someone said oh um Mickey lives here like the guy in the Mickey suit that's him he's his house I was like again just wondering who these people are and it's so this must be like a tradition that these houses do every year yes yeah i tell you we took max and fin for their fifth birthday to disneyland how was it we realized when we got there they had never seen anything disney oh really they didn't know who did mickey mouse what like the oh my god oh my god like you not knowing who any celebrity is yeah oh my god totally Mormon, well, I don't even know if that's Mormon, but like very... Amish almost.

Oh, that's what I meant to say Amish. Like, we went there and, you know, my aunt was with us and she's very into Disney and Disney for her grandkids and all, which most people are. Yeah. But it never dawned on us until we got to the abusive part. And Max and Finn, we were like, oh, there's Mickey Mouse. And they were like, what? They didn't know who these people, these characters were.

Had they just not been interested in watching Disney movies? I guess we just didn't show them. I don't know. Like, Stephanie and I were not big Disney people. You're not watching Mickey Mouse every night. Yeah, but yeah, and to this day, like, Max and Finn are aware that they were like, yeah, I remember you brought us to Disneyland. We didn't know what we were looking at. That was so funny.

We assumed they knew, even though we hadn't shown them. Yeah. I want to design like a really niche theme park just based on Max and Finn's interest. So they go and they're like, oh my God, that obscure baseball player is there's someone dressed like. Black holes. Yeah, black holes and magic cards and Pokemon trading. Yeah. And Capitals of the world. Oh, that's my. I mean, if it's a small world, if that was actually like testing you on capitals, I'd be in heaven. Yeah. Yeah. You should hang out with those guys. Yeah. Not a. Disneyland though. No. How's um, how's Toronto? Good. I just, uh, I think I got in yesterday. Yes, I did. I got in yesterday and, um, we had a table read and then I have, you know, my space suit fitting. Oh. Coming up and just all, all things Star Trek. Did I tell you already that I dressed as a spaceman? I went to Amma, Parvety's daughter, I went to her school's Halloween thing. Oh, nice. Because I go every year and I want to keep that, you know, relationship alive.

And Amma wanted me to go. So I go and I'm in line for the haunted house that the grade five's put on. And I'm so excited. And I'm like holding the place in line while everyone's off doing things. And there's this couple behind me. So I'm dressed like an astronaut. Sure. There's this couple behind me.

And so I'm like, oh, you're having fun. And you go, yeah, yeah. And they're kind of sizing me up. And then the wife goes, are you a student. student here. Guys, it's a, it's an elementary school. It only goes. Oh, my God. It only goes till grade six. And I went, really? And she said, yeah, and she said, I don't know. And I said, I'm 38 years old, madam. Madam. Madam. Did you really say Madam? I hope so. Madam. I don't think you did. Do you think an 11 year old would know how to say madam? Madam, yeah. Oh, that's a wild leap.

I know. I was flattered, but also, like, not flattered, because... Well, you're also, like, twice everyone's size, height-wise. I know. You're a big boy. I'm a big, strong boy. Yeah. Didn't they see those guns? Exactly. And you didn't take that opportunity to tell her to watch Wayward on Netflix? You know what? I did have a handful of people saying they'd watched it, like, the parents and stuff.

And then I've been tagged in a few... people's Halloween costumes where this one queer couple dressed as specifically the sex scene from wayward so oh boy yeah someone was she was wearing like i need to tell you about that scene again tig no no madam have you guys had people dress up as you for Halloween and you're have you i guess you must get that the zombie one tig that's such an iconic look well yeah and people dress as like me and stephanie really Oh, that's great. Yeah.

I get people in, I've gotten people in curly wigs, either in a hooters costume or in a swimsuit with the bush hanging out. We're back to the bush. We're back to the bush. They should have somebody that accompanies them and trims. Yeah. Well, it's based on, as a story I told in my special sweet and salty about having to a speedo for the first time as a child as a 12 year old and what you had it had a bush and I had

bush and I didn't know it and so did you know it for the first time that day or you still didn't know and you were just freely jumping in the water and just enjoying yourself I didn't know it I had to they told me in order to be on the swim seam I had to wear a speedo and I had never swam in that before. My joke was I swim in sweatpants and a triple Excel t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. And it was team picture day. So I confidently stood in the front. No. No. That's in the picture?

Yeah. Kim Fortune. I need that on social. I don't know. I don't have the picture. Okay. If somebody's listening and you're on swim team with Fortune Famster. I don't know if you could see it from the picture. because those are grainy you know the thing so I but I figured it out later but I the joke is I was walking around high five and everybody very confident because when you're 12 life hadn't gotten

you down yet yeah oh my lord saddled up to the concession stand I say bush out um so I have had people wear um bathing suits with with Merkins under me oh my lord that is a big deal when you're in middle school and you're changing for gym and stuff like the monitoring of who's got pubs yet like people at my school anyway and my friend joe at his school which was an all-boys school this guy got pubs first like really early yeah this was in um bristol so they did he want you to share this yeah yeah yeah they have weird accents and so someone goes oh my god Chris levers got spiders spiders is that what that means they were that's what they were calling his his pubs He's got spiders. He's got spiders, mess.

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Just free in the bush. I had friends over last night and this is not... Mae, that's great. That's so good, May. Tell us about it. Thank you so much. Thank you. I was I felt really grateful because I'm there are people I'm close enough to that like we went and saw the Burbank clown house or whatever and we came back and we were hanging out and I just suddenly was like in my head I thought I'm done like I'm I want everyone to leave yeah I want everyone to leave now and I just went and started running a bath and then one of my friends was like did you just start running a bath like would you like us to leave and I was like yeah I guess yeah sorry it was crazy to start I would have thought your friends

would have read into that as they should get in the bath with you. We're all taking a bath now. I wouldn't have thought, oh, we need to leave. I'd be like, uh-oh, May's running a bath. Where's this night going? May's running a bath. It's about to get wild.

I love that you're just like, I want everyone to leave, so I'm going to run a bath. I know, and I should have probably said I'm tired before I just started running the bath. Yeah, I think probably the thing is like, oh, guys, I got a big day tomorrow. Yeah. Or you could just be like, hey, guys, I just want you to leave.

Yeah, I mean, I do, I'm grateful to have friends I'm comfortable enough with to be like, I'm done talking. I'm going, or the new thing people are saying is going nonverbal. That's like the new fray, the gen. They're like, I went nonverbal. I really like that. Like, I think in a friendship you should have license to go nonverbal, whatever you want. Just like, I just need a minute to not talk or.

Now, did you end up taking that back? Of course. Great question. Thank you. You're getting better at follow-up questions. I'm trying. I'm trying. And did you have a bat bomb or bath salts of any kind?

Fortune, settle down. We're easing in. Yeah, I had eucalyptus bath salts that I put in. And girls, I soaked this tired old bod. Okay, with a nice eucalyptus scent. Yeah, it was good. Okay, any candles or as we call them, condals? Conddles and contours, batham.

I had a Himalayan salt lamp going. Girl, I love it. Is this feeling cozy to you guys? Yeah. Wait, how's the new bath and the new place? I know we've talked about it. Is mine? Yeah, are you...

It's great. You've taken some long baths? It's not a deep one, but it's a long one. So I like that because I'm a tall gal. Yeah. What I like is that it is in the... It is placed where the shower is as well. So it doesn't matter if water spills, which I love,

because as a big tall gal, water will spill. And I used to get like, oh, no, I'm going to. going to get mess up the floors well this is spilling right into the shower yeah sort of a matter yeah yeah yeah and do you have a big a fluffy bath mat no i think i i want to get you a personalized fluffy bath mat that says girl girl girl let loose i have tested out the pool take a load off i finally tested out the pool okay and it is perfect for treading oh great you don't like nick your little toes. Occasionally I've hit the side, but it's not been anything concerning.

It's not a pool that you go swimming in per se. Sure, sure. But perfect for treading. And it's smaller, so it heats up a lot faster. Okay, good. So that's good. We don't want your little bottom cold. I didn't tell you the hot tub, right?

It's too short. No. Oh, I didn't. It's too short. What do you mean short? So I got in the hot tub and I don't know who measured this thing. But, like, my tits were out. Wait, so are you sitting down?

You sit down. And it doesn't even cover your nipples? No. Oh, you probably got it from tits out tubs. Tits out tubs designed it. And I'm like, who designed this thing? Because I'm a tall person and my legs are just touching, my feet are just touching the ground. How tall are you?

Five, ten. That's a tall drink of water. And then the top of the pool of the hot tub goes to like just kind of like, I don't know, what is this part of your body? The under-tit, the under-tit, the under-tit. Your boobs are like well out of the hot tub. So it's- Mine are really out. And I know I'm tall, but I'm like, any person that, so I'm like, I got in it and I went, what?

so in order to like submerge into this hot tub you either have to like not sit on the bench or you have to like lay down on the bench So are you going to relist this house? Yeah I'm putting it back up on sale I mean it's the only thing about the house that they did wrong and I was just like who measured this

so when you got in did you say out loud what? Yes I did because I was like Because you're not supposed to have tits out in the box tub. Unless you hire tits out tubs. Unless you hire tits out tubs. You're supposed, it's supposed to go like right, right, like just over them. Yeah, totally. You can't be all exposed.

And are you topless when you're in? Paint us a picture, you sexy thing. I have been topless before, but not this time because I don't have my backyard quite private yet. And are you we talking literal backyard or figurative? backyard. Like my butthole? Fortune Marie! I don't know what that. I don't either. I just never know what

you two are getting at what you mean. Yeah. Well, I just tore out. There was a bamboo in my backyard and what are we talking about? The actual bamboo. Okay. Not other stuff. Okay. But that

it grows insanely wild and gets out of hand. So I had it all removed to avoid that and they just planted phicus. But the Fikas are going to take a good month to two months to grow. So there's no privacy at the moment. And what was the name of this spa? Tits out tubs. So once the fikas are fully in, tits out.

Yeah. Except they're going to be cold because this freaking hot tub's too short. I need to know on the day that you did tits out tub. Yeah. Were you also bottoms off bath? Yeah, I was fully. nude fortune

why that's a hot tub in your own backyard I know but the ficus hasn't taken root I've never no not in the new place I have I there's not a privacy

for naked here yet I'm with you okay one day when the fikas are heartily in it will create a wall and that's when

it's tits out but holes exposed I can't wait for the fikus to be hard Julian. Tits out tub, butthole bath. Oh, boy. So we went from child kidnapping statistics to tits out tubs and and butthole bath. My pool is like so, I'm so excited because like what a perfect treading pool.

And then, oh, bummer. I love, you know how much I love a hot tub. We do. And I can't believe it's tits out tub in there. And I really wish it were deeper because. I love a hot tub, but I guess if I go in there, I have to know I just need to lay down in it. Yeah, you're going to have to like just fetal position in there. But I didn't like the bathtub at my old house and I love the bathtub at this house. So, you know, it's all, it's all, it all evens out. Okay. If we have anyone that works at tits out tubs, please write in, let us know what you were

thinking when you made Fortune's Hot Tub. I just think they didn't go deep enough with the hot tub. tub. Yeah, but we think and know with certainty that that was intentional because they're tits out tubs and they like it that way. They lead with it. And maybe my neighbors, my new neighbors, suggested, like, don't go too deep. Yeah.

Because we want to see tits out time. I can't stand those neighbors of yours or my refrigerator in my apartment. Is it beeping? Can you hear the beeping? No. Yeah, go, maybe is it not closed? It is. It's closed, and I had somebody come up to look at it, and they were like, oh, yeah,

just press the alarm when this beeps. And I'm like, but how about we fix it so I don't have to, okay, hold on, sorry. I'll be right back. You guys bad talk me while I'm gone. Okay. That TIG. That TIG. What a TIG.

I would. Did you see that walk to the fridge? It was like a little, it was a cute little. Zess in the, and TIG's butt. I want to see it I want to rewind and watch it Look how dikey tick looks right now What'd you say?

First of all we were saying that The way you walked to the fridge I didn't see it It was cute. It was cute It was adorable Oh, fortune You did a little tushy shake And I felt like that was for you

It was for I think our handsome watchers Well And then I did say you look dykey But that was a compliment So wait, when I walked away, I was Femmy, and when I came back, I was dikees. Yeah, full Fem on the way, hardcore dyke on the way back. Was it one of those things of like, I hate for you to leave, but I love to watch you walk away? Exactly, yeah.

Okay. Well, Stephanie makes fun of me because when I... You did have your hands in a little bit. A little bit, I think, or no. Okay, okay. They were kind of down to the side. At home, Stephanie teases me on a daily basis, because, you did you know, Because when I'm in the kitchen and I'm in my zone and I'm like doing dishes,

cleaning things up, loading the, whatever I'm doing, I do this around the kitchen. Okay, if a little dainty hands with her, with her hands flopping around. Imagine Tig saying, girl, right now, that's what TIG's hands are doing. And I don't realize I do it. You do it unconsciously? You just bop around. Completely. Sometimes I have dainty wrist too.

I'm in the kitchen and I'm doing. doing this. And Stephanie will be like, um, wrists. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't even know I'm doing it. But anyway, so you probably caught a little bit of a pretty little lady in the kitchen. Yeah, pretty little lady walking to the fridge and then, that's right. TIG, okay, Dike, walking back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Got to have both. What did you do? Do you unplug it or you? There's a button that says alarm and you press the button. It's like, clearly there's something with this, why would you make a refrigerator that beeps so frequently that you have to have a button to turn the alarm off is this one of those apartments where everything's like included the furniture

and everything yeah it's a hotel that also has a residence part and so they put me in the residence area which is great because i have you know my kitchen and dishwasher and dryer because you know i love to clean the house you got to bounce around you got to you got a Bounce around. Pretty little lady heading to the kitchen. So, yeah, but I'm going to be on the phone with the front desk after this episode. Giving them a piece of your mind. That's right.

That's right. Well. Speaking about pieces of mind, should we hear what our, who our question asker is and what's on their mind? Yeah, we should. Absolutely. Today's question asker, I'm very excited because I met him in the, in the, Toronto Airport a couple of years ago. And he, I always, I go up to people if I recognize them and I like their work. And, and he came up to me. And this is Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20, who I grew up.

And also, oh my God, his solo stuff. It's a hot one like seven inches from the midday. Remember that? Anyway, I love Rob Thomas. I do too. I loved Matchbox 20. Yes. Yes. He, Rob Thomas was the lead vocalist for Matchbox 20. He performed on Santana's single Smooth, which won three Grammy Awards and was the number one hit. His five albums with Matchbox 20 have sold millions of copies and received multiple Grammy nominations. Rob Thomas is asking today's question. Oh yeah, baby. Hello, you handsome devils. My name is Rob Thomas. I am a giant fan of all three of you. I've seen all of your specials. I love what a joke. I loved Wayward. It means a lot to me to be able to ask you guys this very serious question today. What is something that you guys spend money on that your

younger selves would have thought was extravagant? He has, um, I feel like musicians always have like a cool background. It's like a studio, like equipment and guitars and stuff. Especially when you're like tripping over Grammys and, no, I hate tripping over Grammys. It's the worst. There's just, all these awards are in the way. I don't have any awards, um, except for our Ha Haa award that we got for the best podcast of the year. Oh, and it's just right there. It's just right off the other. It's just right off the year.

Yeah, nice. Given to us by the Montreal Comedy Festival. It's a fun, well, I see Mays got theirs in the background. Yeah. I should have brought mine to Toronto. I'm amazed you don't travel with it, Tick. I'm amazed, yeah, that I should. Yeah.

Yeah, Rob Thomas, very effortlessly cool and kind person. What was Matchbox's Matchbox 20's Biggest hit? That's right. Around where I will Where I will And also

Their stuff was so catchy Oh my God, so good Well, that's how they sold millions and millions Yeah Rob also has great tasting comedians I will say Have you met him?

I sure have not But I love his tasting comedians I love town something I said he likes us three right Exactly. Yeah, I don't think May caught that. You just got so Southern though, fortune. I've never heard of it. I did? I sure have not. I sure have not. I love that. I sure have not. I sure have not, y'all. I sure have not, y'all. I sure have not, madam. Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whatever your goals. you're just starting out or looking to get your business to the next level, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain. Then showcase your offerings and grow your brand with a

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash handsome. Free shipping and 365-5. day returns quince.com slash handsome do you remember like the first time that you like the first purchase you made when when you had money like I think all of us went through periods of eating

instant noodles and like true scrimping and saving but yeah when was the first time that you were like oh I can afford to do this God I was always so used to never having money I grew up with

I had a roof over my head and opportunities so I know I was lucky in a lot of ways but there was a lot of not knowing how we were going to pay the bills a lot of lights getting shut off, water getting cut off. I remember my mom and brother came home one day and they're like, well, we got to pack up the house because we're about to lose it. And I was like, what? and oh my god that's so stressful how old were you in that that was going on that would have been like my sophomore year of high school and but then my mom found a way to like hold on

and um classic ginger classic ginger she she kept she was able to keep the house but so there was always like my senior of college they're like I don't know if you're going to be able to graduate because you y'all can't you know you haven't been able to pay this last bill and I'm like oh my god there's so I always had like something hanging over my head financially And then when I moved to L.A., I got here with, like, literally, it's $25 in my pocket. It sounds like a made-up story, but it, like, that is what I had. Yeah. Did you have somewhere to stay lined up?

I stayed on a friend's couch who I went to college with until I could get on my feet. You still live there, right? That's right. You're still in that couch? That's right. And then, you know, I just started working my ass off. often, but didn't really make money for a long time. I made enough to pay my bills, but I had two roommates out in L.A. for 10 years.

So my first extravagant purchase was a home, and that was, that was... You're good with money. Ten years into being in L.A. Yeah. And so were you just really saving and budgeting? Oh, yeah. I, well, I remember 2010 right before I got Chelsea lately, I made $18,000 that year. And my, you know, and that's living in L.A.

Like, rent is like, I mean, the majority of that is what, and my account was like, how did you live? How did you? I was like, I just figure it out. I don't know. And then I got Chelsea like six months later and that kind of saved everything. I would my roommate like two grand in rent when I got that. job and you don't get paid for like the first month of the and i everybody was like one of these fancy dinners and i was like i don't like i was like i'll have french fries um as long as you

pay for them once i got that chelsea job it was the first time in my life i was able to save um and i just started saving and the house i bought was tiny um and you know expensive for la but not expensive it was not a fancy house at all it was like in the very valley like super small but i was like i just want something of my own um and it ended up being um the house i still i don't live there now but i i will treasure that house forever yeah like so when when he's like are there things now that your younger self would consider extravagant it's like everything probably like because it seemed extravagant yeah yeah like i in my teens i was just in a cycle of debt and mainly for drugs like every check that I got was immediately

gone and then borrowing money and lying and owing money and like never being able to get out of that cycle. And then when I was like 20, I started dating Lindsay Barton and she just had her shit together and was like 27 and just and she kind of like just slowly sorted me out. And then we moved to England together. And I was working. yeah, so many day jobs and stuff. And the first time that I was like, oh, I can do something like recreational. It was like my friend was doing volunteer work in Spain or something and we met up in Barcelona for a weekend and we like to be able to go on vacation for a weekend to Europe with my friend and buy like paella and wine. But we were buying these boxes of wine called

Don Simone. And it was, you'd get a box of rosé that was sweeter than Kool-Aid. It was so sweet. And it got, yeah, and we had a really fun weekend. But yeah, I do credit like Lindsey Barton for, because she would, I mean, she was like, I want to live my life. I'm a grown person doing a master's degree in London. And I had nothing really to bring to the table. But she didn't, she wasn't lending me tons of money. Or if she did, like, we'd keep track of it. And I just became responsible and I worked. And yeah. I would say, I would say currently, I am not an extravagant person still. Like I'm lucky enough to be, you know, comfortable in my life and I'm making money because I work all the time. All I do is work. And I don't have kids. So by the nature of

that, yes, I have some money because I'm not having the overhead that some people have. I don't buy, I'm not big into like Porsche's. I mean, I do at least a car. That's probably considered extravagant um and i i do i did get a home um but as far as like frivolous stuff i don't i wear t-shirts all the time and i'm not that i don't like any designer thing i'm not a jewelry person you don't have a diamond speed of i do not i do not i am not i'm not really big into stuff um so i like i probably probably my biggest expense would be going out to eat. That would be something I really enjoy. I like going to dinner with friends and I like good food.

But I would say as far as something I bought that it was out of character for me as far as extravagant is I had the opportunity to buy a multi-k stand-up video game. Oh, yeah, I know because I wanted to get it. I thought you were going to maybe get rid of it. you moved and I was sniffing around. This thing is going to come with me everywhere I go. I bought it from a friend who I think probably regrets selling it and I love it so much. It's vintage.

It reminds me of childhood. It's loud as fuck. Yeah. But it's so cool. It has all the games, Gallagher, Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Space Invaders. It's cool. What about Palm? I love Pong.

I don't think it has Pong. It would be amazing if it was just one big machine for Pong. Yeah. Boop. Yeah. You can plug it in and play away. It takes no, it has the quarter slots, but you don't need any quarters for it. But don't tell people that.

I know. I should just take Google's money. Take the quarters. Yeah. I am not good with, I do buy a lot of stuff. And it's, we know. Yeah. I know.

Your Amazon order alone was a little. That was insanity. And also to be supporting Amazon is so bad. Like I'm getting better. It's on my list of personal improvement that I want to do. But again, I don't have dependence and I work tons and I don't buy like cars and stuff. So I do just buy like nice jackets and synthesizers and nice jackets and synthesizers. Yeah.

But I don't know. What about you, Tiglet? Thank you for using my God-given name. I am not an extravagant person myself, but I remember when I first started in comedy. I don't know if you guys know Darlene Hunt. She's a really successful writer-producer now, showrunner type. Oh, I know. Yeah, I know who that is.

Red curly hair. I met her in stand-up. She's so deeply funny. It's weird. And I remember her getting on. on a sitcom and being like, yeah, I went to Upfronts, which is like the whole, how would you describe Upfronts? It's where they on networks reveal their upcoming shows.

Yeah. And so networks will put money into sending people out to New York and putting you in a nice hotel with like, you know, money to spend on food. And I remember her saying like, yeah, I was just. in this really nice hotel, and I could just order room service and eat out of the, you know, get whatever out of the mini bar. And I was like, what? I could not even comprehend. You know, it was like when we were open micers still when she got that. And I really, it seemed made up that this was Darlene's life. And to this day, I have to say that the frivolous thing that I will,

sometimes, not often treat myself to is something out of the mini fridge in a hotel room because that is something I would never have touched and even to this day, I don't go nuts on it because I'm like, I'm not going to spend $12 on some cashews. Something that's like $2 in the convenience store. Yeah, I don't like, I don't like, I mean, I like being generous, but I don't like spending money

in that kind of way of like $12 cash shoes. Right, same. So, yeah, but I would say that is something where I'm like, if I'm stuck in my hotel room and I'm hungry, I'll be like, oh, right, $8 bag of tiny chips, I'll eat you. Would you have a little drink from the,

you're not much of a drink, but would you have like a solo whiskey in a hotel if you're feeling real like real emotion there's no world where I would have a solo whiskey like I don't there's not there's no um in fact I really in the past few years it's so silly to say I quit drinking because you never really yeah because it paints a picture like I really had to finally get rid of that in my life but um I stopped doing that a few years ago and so No, I don't have a solo whiskey. I usually just will have water and some cashews. It's just in top water and a wild.

But it feels, it feels very extravagant still. But to me, it's like, I think that the more I'm talking about it, it feels like that, wow, I guess I'm doing okay. I'm treating myself hotel mini bar. Yeah. I won't ever drink the alcohol out of the mini bar. bar because that that's even like triple the price. But if I'm not a big, big drinker, but I like an old fashion here and there.

We know. I'll just go down to the bar in the lobby, get an old fashion, and go back up to the room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, it doesn't feel good to me to, um, to just plow through. But go ahead. I love like, like devices and things that are advertised to me on Instagram and like,

massagers or like those like face products and things and I like being generous and so I for years thought I am really going all out for Christmas and I would get my parents these like I don't know like an infrared like you know just this like just junk really and and oh there's the depuffer yeah but my parents finally were like please don't get us that's we don't we don't like it breaks after one use like we don't need it or want it but yeah. You know what I did when I got an early paycheck from Chelsea lately? Because I had never made much money before. I bought everyone in my family Omaha Steaks.

And I thought, I have made it. I'm steaks for everybody. Freaking Omaha Steaks. I just remembered that. I totally forgot that I did the. What is an Omaha steak? Here we go. Is that a specific cut?

So it's a company. Omaha, Nebraska. It's out of Omaha, Nebraska. They sell stakes, but it's kind of the stakes that are like, you know, they're not fancy. They're in Sizzler, maybe. Yeah, it's like a low grade steak, but they sell them in bulk. So you can send somebody like 16 steaks. That's what you, and that you were like.

And I did that from my whole family. I was like, I've made it. Stakes for everybody. Sixteen low-grade stakes for you, 16 low-grade stakes for you, and 16 low-grade stakes for you. I'm sure some of their meat is high-quality. I probably got the very basic box of basic bitch steaks. Here's my question for you, Fortune. Yeah, you have a depuffer.

Yeah. Have I seen a huge difference in your face when I see you? I'm not using it every day. That's the problem. Okay. Well, I'm just telling you, nothing. I've noticed nothing. May's extravagant purchase was that sauna.

Oh, fuck, yeah. And that was really worth it. And now I'm like, should I have an extravagant purchase and do that? Well, the sauna. And probably some research is going to come out that, like, you know, counters this. But they really do say a few sauna like three or four times a week, it's your overall health, it's like, like, if you're 40, uh, it was something, uh, anyways, you're going to live a long time. 40% of all kidnappings happen in a sauna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I don't want to go to the gym,

so I'd much rather be in a sauna. Is that what you're telling me? Get yourself some nice aromatherapyals and get that, get that song. It is, it is really worth it. I'm going, I went this morning. I'm, I'm going to settle into this home because this was my latest extravagant purchase, but I don't see it as, um, it's an investment. Yeah. So I see it as a responsible purchase. But in time, once I've not spent as much money as I recently have, I might look into that. Well, you know how Tig did a little, pretty little lady scurry to the fridge? Yeah. So picture me in the morning because I go in just my underwear. Yeah. Hello. But I scurry because I have roommates, right? My friend and his girlfriend live in my

backhouse. So I scurry out in my underwear to the sauna. And then I always, when I'm coming out, It's right at the moment that his girlfriend's walking out. And I'm like, lobster red. I'm sweaty. I'm lobster red and I'm just scurrying. I'm going to say it. I think it's not an accident. What you think I want her to see my...

No, no, no. Oh, I think she wants to see it. She knows when you're coming out of that. She wants to see it. She's hilarious. She really cracks me up. She's really formed a relationship with this stray cat. She made him an Instagram account.

Dean, we've named it. him and she's feeding him. She's, she's hilarious. And, like, I'm just so in awe of starting fresh in a new country where you don't speak the language. And sometimes, we're like, I always forget that her English isn't great because we're chatting away. And then last night, it was silent for a while. And Matt said, what percentage of what I say do you think you understand? And she was like, 15. We were like, what? And he was like, you're my, they're married. He was like, Oh, my 15. Wait, what's her first language?

Chinese. Oh, gotcha. Or Mandarin, yeah. We're back to percentages. Yeah, we're back to percentages on this ass. Yes, there's a theme here. Should we hear what Mr. Handsome Face has to say? Yes.

Is that what he goes by? Yeah. Handsome Face or Rob Thomas, either one. He knows who he is. Like, for me, I like a nice hotel room. I like first class seats on a plane, and I like really good dinners. I don't need to buy things. I don't need to own things, but I don't mind spending money on

experiences how do you guys feel about that i do like that i will i will spend money on travel um yeah to have like a to yeah to enjoy another place yeah also if you're traveling all the time for work and you're exhausted like anything you can do to make that process a little less see i'm so if i'm traveling with my family yeah Let's go for it, have a nice vacation. If it's just me, you're in a hostel. I, no, like, what did you say, Fortune? I didn't mean to interrupt, but I just got infiltrated by Omaha Steaks.

I'm not lying. What do you mean? What do you mean? Infiltrated. I just looked at my, I just got ADD. Are you online? Are you checking email and Instagram? I got ADD and looked at my email.

And it says, Omaha Steaks since 1917, you've been selected great steak sampler. what wait is it listening to you of course of course everyone listens to our podcast even Omaha State no that's creepy that's sorry but more importantly fortune you cannot be doing your text and emails and Omaha Steak ordering when you are on with us you are focused all I did was just click one thing you were there you are focused I'm focused I'm focused sorry I didn't mean to interrupt what was my interesting story you were talking about experiences Oh, when I'm on the road, I just go, here's the thing.

Courtyard Marriott, well, first of all, my favorite thing when I check into a courtyard Marriott is saying, oh, my gosh, I'm so excited, which way is the courtyard? And then they're like, oh, we don't have a courtyard. I'm like, really? This is Courtyard Marriott, right? Paul's advertising. But I heard, I don't know if it's true, that Bob Dylan chooses Courtyard Marriott as well. Somebody told me that. Really?

I started it for the mattresses. And then when I stayed at places nicer and not as nice, I like a courtyard Marriott mattress. That's what you like. I stand by it. The double tree gives you chocolate chip cookies. I do enjoy that. That's nice. They're not vegan.

I don't think I know, I don't think I've gone to a hotel and clocked the mattress. Oh, really? Do you have a bad back? No, but I feel like that's probably coming in time. Well, I have a bad back. I had spinal fusion and boy, do I have to keep an eye on what I'm sleeping on. Oh, yeah, for sure. If you've got that going, then you would notice that a lot.

And are you like a Marriott member or something? Oh, my God, I could live there. Yeah. Yeah. I like the boutique hotels usually when I'm traveling. I like the little local, whatever cute hotel they've put in that area. Yeah, but you know what? Not very reliable mattresses at boutique hotels.

Yeah, I do like a chain where I know there's going to be just your basic gym, your business center your your tits out tub your tits out tub yeah yeah your what was it butts out butt hole back but usually these boutique hotels have a one of those coffee shops where the people are real turds to you and I love that you like that when you're getting here the meaner they are the better the coffee is yeah that checks out yeah that didn't happen for me in New York this last time. Oh, really? Oof, the Burista was so mad at me.

And shitty coffee. It was just fine. It was perfectly fine. Not worth the toad? No, I asked for half decaf. As you do. Yeah, yeah, anyway. And what, she was like...

He, yeah. He goes, so decaf? And I said, well, no, if I could get two shots regular and then two decaf. And he stared at me like I had ordered a frappa, whippa, cherry on top. But, you know, like, I was just like, man, I just want, you know, a quad cap, half the calf with almond milk. Fine. It's not straightforward. But that's what I was in the mood for it. It wasn't that insane. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. I was a jerk.

Well, that was lovely. hearing from Rob Thomas. I really am a fan. Yes. Yeah. If anybody cares, I have a tour right now. Tickets are on sale for my out-of-nowhere tour. Go to tignotaro.com for all my tour dates. I'm hitting mainly minor markets right now, and I don't mean that in an offensive way, just smaller cities, smaller towns. That's cool. You know, hitting all that first. Also, the document. memory I produced come see me in the good light is out on Apple TV check that out share it with friends what's going on guys I have a tour I'm going to 35 cities I'm really pumped and tickets are on maymartin dot net it starts the end of February come see if I'm coming to your city and then

come say hi and I'm going to I'm going to do stand up and then mix in some music and improv and all kinds of things so come awesome yeah later this month I'll be in St. Petersburg Florida and Orlando and then Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, and Seattle, and at the top of the year, New Orleans, Mobile, Atlanta, and Cincinnati. So check those out.

Fortunefeenster.com. Also go to hansompod.com for merchandise and rate, review, subscribe to the podcast, as well as our YouTube channel, and also share your favorite episode with a friend. This community,

continues to grow, and it's just the coolest. So thank you, everyone, for listening. And until next time, what do you say we keep it, handsome? Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tignitaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wulet. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com, and follow us on social media at HandsomPod. What a what podcast. What a podcast.

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