Handsome - Sharon & Bram ask a question... in song!

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

Sharon & Bram of button factory fame ask Handsome a delightful, sing-song question! Plus Mae sings their answer, haunted house brainstorming, "skinamarink" and more!*** Handsome has a live-streaming holi-bobs show Dec 21! Tickets at dynastytypewriter.com ***Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm also a handsome host. And I am your other handsome host, Tignotaro. Coming to you from the handsome pod, Handsome. Woo! Woo! What a handsome time we're having. Mm-hmm. Out of the gate, already the best day of my life.

Oh, Biggie, go to YouTube, go to YouTube. Everyone go to YouTube, Biggie's naked. Should we get merch that says go to YouTube? Biggie's also handsome. Oh my God, Biggie's so stupidly cute. How are you guys doing? Doing well. I'm doing well.

I'm feeling like my forehead looks shiny. So that'll be on my mind throughout the app. Well, we can check in with where I'm at with that. Check in on that forehead. You'll see me kind of dabbing it. I don't notice it as shiny, but I do remember that when you were younger, you used to wash your face with pink chalky soap.

Yes. Thank you for remembering. I remember as well. I used to wash it eight, nine times a day. And I think it was partly because my mom said that I'm a greasy girl. Do you have face routines now? Oh, girl. Oh, girl. Let me tell you, Tig. I wash my face with face wash and then I put a face cream on. You know what I wanna, I wanna get brave enough to do,

I've seen people on flights who put on like a full sheet mask for the whole flight and you look Psycho, but I really want to try it because your skin gets so dry on flights and so they're wearing like those I wear them No way. I have taken my JLo beauty mask on an airplane and warn it and warn it. Yeah, I got no shame I am so out of this loop. Tell me about the, I'm not. You know the face, the whole big face mask? You know those things? You know you open it up, it's wet,

it's got like serums on it and you put it on and it's got holes for your eyes and you leave it on. You've never worn one? No. Okay, put it on the list. You need to get into your J.Lo beauty box. We need to have a spa night, the three of us. Oh, I've gotten into my J.Lo beauty box. We need to have a spa night, the three of us. Oh, I've gotten into my J.Lo beauty box, you know.

How come it looks so darn good at 53? But I have not opened or used anything like that, nor have I seen anyone flying around up in the clouds with anything on their face. I only do those on longer flights, like when I'm maybe going to Europe or something. Yeah. I do notice when I'm on tour and I'm on planes a lot, my face gets really broken out. Yeah, me too.

Like actual acne. You get acne? Yeah. I do. I'm 37 years old. And I get very dry too. Me too. I get dry and acne.

When is this going to stop? Sorry. I am not experiencing. It's very weird. I am so hair and acting. When is this gonna stop? Sorry. I am not experiencing. It was very weird to be like, I am so dry right now. Fortune. Fortune Marie! I don't know that people brag about me. I've never been dry.

Dry. Fortune Marie. Is there anything else? Is it just from a face? Anyway, so yeah, I wear those facial masks. You can also get them in a drugstore one, you just want one on the go. I'm embarrassed because flights is one of the few places

that I get recognized because I played a flight attendant in that show, The Flight Attendant, and it feels like a lot of flight attendants watch that show. And so I do get people being, saying hello. And so if I was in a creepy face mask, like Hannibal Lecter, I'd be embarrassed. And so if you're on a flight, you have the mask on.

Let's say you now have to use the restroom. You just get up, walk around, mask on your face. No, because you only wear the facial mask for like, I don't know, what, 20 minutes? Oh, really? Oh, I thought it was for the whole flight. No, no, no, no, no. I don't know, girl.

Maybe 30 minutes max, but no, it's not an all flight thing. Oh, okay, okay, that's fine. Your face is absorbing all the serums and the not an all flight thing. Oh, okay. Okay, that's fine. You just absorb, your face is absorbing all the serums and the moisture and all the stuff. And then, yeah. Well, that's great and everything, but my understanding is it's most important to hydrate from the inside.

You know what, T? From your cooter. I'm so glad. Fortune Marie. Oh, you meant drinking water. My bad, my bad, my bad. What were you going to say, Mae? What do you think, Fortune?

Like douching to hydrate from within? Don't ask follow-up questions. Mae Marie. Mae Marie. Mae Marie. What were you gonna say about hydrating from the inside out? I was just so glad that someone said it and thanks for saying it because it's a big problem.

I think everyone's dehydrated. I think a lot of our mood things. I think we all got to drink more water. We do. Got to. Got to. I always see people with those jugs where it's like, good morning, good afternoon, you should be here and you should have this much water. And then I feel like everybody that has those, they just drink the water in the normal way

they would drink the water. And it just feels like hard work when your jug is yelling at you to drink from it. I don't know. I end up having to tinkle a lot. Oh. I do. I love water though. I do tinkle a lot. Oh. I do. I love water though.

I do drink water a lot. That is one thing I'm very good about. But as a grown adult, you do say tinkle? I guess I do. What would you say, Tig? I use the restroom. Use the restroom, okay. Uh-huh, yeah.

I'd say piss. Of course. Of course you would. I would take a piss. I gotta take a leak. Yeah, bruh. I gotta drain the snake. Oh my God. What does Biggie say?

He says I have to go TT. TT. Don't see, can we hear him on the mic? Can you turn his little beak around? Hi. Is he licking you? He just licked my mouth, yes. Uh-huh, and do you have any issues with that?

Yeah. He might've eaten some Dookie earlier, so. Oh, God. It's not great. Okay, Jax is a germaphobe. How does she deal with Dookie licks? I mean, she's obsessed with him. He's her world, but I don't think she wants dookie licks.

Right. You know what I mean? So she moves her head. Yeah, to avoid dookie licks. No dookie licks. Yeah. So what else is going on, guys? I was fortunate to do a radio show.

Yeah, I do radio Monday through Thursday for two hours a day. It's a lot of talking. A lot of talking. A lot of talking. Sometimes it'll happen in the middle of a standup set. I'll think, shut up, to myself. I'll think, I am bored of my own, like, I think.

Shut up. What am I talking about? Cork it. Cork it. Yeah, but then you bust out with some amazing facts and we all learn something. So it all works out. Yeah. Do you have any fact for us that you can kind of blow our...

Oh, there we are. What is it? Yeah. You know, possums? Yeah. Of course. Of course I do. Yeah.

So when they're under a UV light, they glow pink and even biologists don't know why. As far as I know, no one knows why and what benefit this would have for them, but they glow. The other great thing about possums, I'm sure I've said this before, is when they're startled, they play dead and they kind of go all startled, they play dead and they

kind of go all rigid and they lie on their backs or they fall out of a branch. And the best part about it is it's involuntary. So they could just hear a loud noise and they're like, oh shit. Because then they're frozen for upwards of like hours. Really? Yes. Can you imagine that? And they have no control? No. So imagine if that happened to humans, if you were startled and you're just like,

and then you had to stay like that, frozen in your own body. I guess if it's no getting around it, you would have to really focus on not being startled. Yes. If you're a possum, is it possum or opossum? I've never known, I say possum. Technically opossum.

Opossum is the abbreviated version. Right, I mean why were we like, we can't do this o. Too much. But we can do rhinoceros. Would you guys like a fag from me? Yes please. Is it gonna be about dookie or Cooter?

No. Do you know where Panda Express was started? America? Asia. Yeah, in America. It wasn't Asia? It wasn't in Asia, no. Really? You know where?

See, I knew it was gonna blow your mind. Started here in Glendale, California. That is shocking. That is absolutely shocking. Do you know what they invented? Diarrhea. How dare you? I love express.

Sweet and sour diarrhea. Sweet and sour diarrhea. Worth it, I love it. Do you know what they invented? What? Orange chicken. sour diarrhea. Yeah, I love it. You know what they invented? What? Orange chicken. No way. Yeah, bud.

Really? They did. Whoa. And the original owners had a, or still have I think. Everyone gather around, fortune's. This is my fireside chat. Original sit down restaurant was in Pasadena.

Panda Inn. Panda Inn. Could you spend the night? Nope, just go for a cozy meal and get on out. I like that. Also I'm not sponsored by Panda Express. I'm just telling you a fact. What if I had a shirt on that said Panda Express? I would not be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised if you had a shirt on that said Panda Express?

I would not be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised if you had a shirt on that said orange chicken. I do really love orange chicken. Orange chicken number one causes number three. No, don't you dare. Number three is diarrhea. It has to be. I don't want that on my shirt.

And I promise I am also not sponsored by. Diarrhea. Diarrhea. Or Pantx Express. Oh my God. Of the three of us, who do you think is most easily startled? Like if we were in a haunted house

and things were jumping out, who would be the, if we had the possum problem. I think May would. No, I would. I'd be the most startled. the, if we had the possum problem. I think May would, no, I would. I'd be the most startled, I think. Okay, okay, that's what I thought, but then I realized, like, I don't like scary stuff. I like depressing things, but I don't like,

I don't like to be scared, I don't like to be startled. So you want a different kind of haunted house where it's like around every corner, it's like climate change is happening. Oh no. Are you just depressed by the end of it? Yeah. Fortune has diarrhea again.

Oh no. So maybe, do you think Fortune, you're the least like jittery of the three of us? I mean, I'm not like actively going to haunted houses, but I think once I'm there, I kind of toughen up. Like, I got this. Yeah, yeah. Hey bud, step back, get away from the wife and Biggie. You know what I do?

I giggle. That's my defense mechanism in haunted houses. Do you know what I do? I yell at everyone. I'm like, this is terrible. Why are we here? Let's leave. Stop.

Yeah, stop it. Someone unlocked a new fear for me with haunted houses that I didn't ever think about before. They said, what if an unhinged person. Oh, I had already thought that's why I don't wanna be there. You had? Is in the haunted house and they just start. Yeah, don't give more people ideas.

I'd never thought of that. Are you kidding me? An unhinged person just hides in there. Yeah, that's really scary. Anyway, we don't have to go into it. We're gonna have to hold this episode for next Halloween. Yeah. Oh no.

I have thought about, I think about that kind of thing all the time. and I'm like, why are people going into there? Yeah. You know, I don't understand the appeal of being scared. I do and I think it's cause I don't do drugs anymore. Like I think it's just like that dopamine rush. It's like a real physical high, I think. But like the escape rooms,

I'm gonna do an escape room tonight actually. I was alive. A scary one. Do you go alone ever? That would be truly scary and unhinged. I kind of want to know that you said that, but no, I'm going with it with actually Lisa Gilroy, who we talked about on a recent episode.

Tell her hello. Just the two of you? No, and our two pals. And I keep bringing Lisa to really scary experiences and every time she's like, is this gonna be scary? And I'm like, I don't think so. And then five minutes later, she's being chased down. And how does she deal with her fear?

She cried one time. Aw. Did she really? Yeah, no, that's fun. That's all, no. Did she really? Yeah. No, we have, that's fun. That's all fun. This one's not that scary. It's just spooky.

Like, I think you're trying to solve a mystery of a murder in a spooky house, but there's no actors jumping out. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I've only done one escape room ever. Did I ever tell you about it? No.

No. Also, we gotta go. I don't want to name jump, but... Uh-oh. I went't want to name jump, but. Uh oh. I went with Lance Bass. So. Oh. And I wish that they had known he was coming

so that somehow us escaping when we were leaving that the song Bye Bye Bye started playing. That would have been great. That would have been pretty fun. Yeah. Or they've been pretty fun. Yeah. Or they played Die Die Die. Oh my God.

If we don't escape. Oh my God. Die Die Die. And did you get out? And was it a scary one? No, she's still there. You're still there, right? Yeah. ["Dreams of a New World"] Some people just know they could save hundreds Yeah.

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That's A-U-R-A frames.com promo code handsome. This deal is exclusive to listeners. So get yours now and time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply. He was really good at it. Him and his husband, they were very good at it. Yeah, we got out. No thanks to me.

You'd be great value though. You'd be making people laugh. You'd be. Yeah, like guys, I'd be the pumping up people like, gotta get out of here. Let's think about this clue. Does anyone have any good guesses? What would my Nana do?

Yeah. You'd be like pulling from Nana. Mm-hmm. Nana guide me. Nana guide me. I get like irritable and like competitive, not irritable, but I really take it seriously. And I think if fortune, if you were just behind me going,

guys, we gotta get out. You would hate me. Guys, we gotta find a clue. I'd be like, fortune. And imagine if I then to pour salt in the wound started singing Alanis. Oh my God. And then I said, wait, what are the words again?

Oh my God. And I'm trailing behind, what are the words again? Oh my God. And I'm trailing behind going, wait, I'm sorry, what is this thing? What do we do? Oh, speaking of Halloween, I know it's been a minute, but someone made a shirt of me on stage with Alanis and it said the moment that almost broke up the handsome pod. Are you serious? Where'd it go? It was I reposted it and I laughed so hard.

I thought that was so hilarious. They made a shirt. They had a whole shirt. Oh, my gosh. You know, there's this trend of like gay Halloween. It's people doing costumes that are really niche pop culture moments. Like it'll be like, and then the meme is like, I hate gal gay Halloween. What do you mean you're the moment that Charlie XCX read an S magazine in an airport? Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. And that's a very niche pop culture moment. I don't know what that is. I

actually don't really know either. Do you know the Bratz song? Charlie XCX. I feel the apple fallin' far from the tree. No. Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm. Pch. No. You don't know that? It was a very popular TikTok dance. Charlie, how do you say Charlie's?

XCX? I don't think it's her formal last name. Okay, so, but this is a song that Charlie XRX sings. Yeah. She's a very popular singer. She had a brat summer. Yeah, yeah. I've heard brat summer.

That came from her. And I don't know what brat summer is, just cool. I think so. Okay. We seem old. Guys, what's wrong with us? Guys, we seem old. Guys, what's wrong with us? I could.

I did. So one of those things where it's like, I read it, I see it, I hear it, but I never asked anybody like, what is Bratz summer? I just assumed. You're doing whatever the F you want. Yeah, yeah, okay. I wanna watch the Martha Stewart documentary.

That looks really good. Oh, I started Okay. I want to watch the Martha Stewart documentary. That looks really good. Oh, I started it and I haven't finished it even though it's been out for a minute. There was a point in it that made me laugh because she's very straight face talking about how her husband cheated on her. And then the the document documented guy said, well, didn't you cheat on him first? Because you kissed that guy in a museum. And she goes, that didn't count.

Is she still with her husband? No. That didn't count. I think she had an affair as well. They both had affairs and I think she gets into it. They were having brat summers. They were having brat summers. And I hate red in my garden. If anything red blooms, I cut it.

Is that what she says? Okay, well, now I'm going to have a crush on Martha Stewart. Why? It's that like iconic, almost drag queen energy of like saying spicy stuff, having strong opinions. They got divorced in 1990. iconic, almost drag queen energy of like saying spicy stuff, having strong opinions. They got divorced in 1990. I thought you said having horse drawn opinions. Is that my Canadian accent?

I don't know what it's, I think it's just my hearing going. Right. Yeah, horse drawn. Brad Summer. Brad Summer, horse drawn. Bratz summer. Bratz summer, horse drawn opinions. Who's there? Oh my God. I didn't know Martha Stewart before she became

the known for what she's known for. She was a stockbroker. Oh really? In New York City. Mm-hmm. That's a cool career change. There's a cool career change. There's a comedian in the UK called Sindhu V who's so funny and she was in her 40s and

she was in a, I think an accountant, like a sort of high powered business woman and all her friends were like, you're really funny. And she had never seen stand up. She didn't know what the medium was really. And she was at like an open mic night and went up and just assumed everybody was improvising their stand up. And she just did a set.

And now she's like one of the biggest standups in the UK. And she's so funny. Oh, wow. That's cool. I love that. That's amazing. I saw somebody go up on stage back in the first year I was doing comedy and she assumed that everybody was just making things up on the spot and I have never in my life seen

a bomb like that night. I mean it was so, sometimes when people bomb really hard, it can be really amusing. And everyone's having kind of a good laugh about it. This was a, oh my God, can we go to swingers and have, you talk me through the, like it was like, yeah. Yeah. What was she talking about?

She was just like rambling? I remember it was really, really vulgar. Yeah. Like really vulgar. Just going for it and just saying stuff. Well, I find when people aren't comfortable, they start to cuss and be dirty on stage. Is that like you at the top of this episode? Were you feeling uncomfortable?

I wasn't dirty, was I? Yes, you were. Yes, little lady. Are you getting serious? No. Little lady? Not me. I'm a pretty little lady. Well, should we get into our... You were, Fortune, and we don't wanna talk about it. I'd like to move on, I'd like to forget it ever happened.

I just do innuendos anyway. Let's hear one. No, that's what I did earlier. I know, but let's hear one. And also, y'all missed one of mine where you said everyone's carrying around jugs, and I went, yeah. Oh, I didn't miss it. I was ignoring you.

Oh, God! That was a good one. I was completely ignoring you. I like that you're calling that an innuendo, yeah. Yeah, jugs. But to be honest, I said that there could be two jugs, and I was kind of teeing somebody up, and I knew who would take the bait.

Oh my God. I didn't, because I have matured. This is all happening right under my nose. Yeah, right under your shrimp nose. That's the bait that I did take. Yeah, that's the bait you did. Oh, I took that bait. Yeah. Never mind.

None of us are listening. No. Let's let's hear from our questioner today, shall we? Which are the questioners are two of the most tame, kind, iconic children's entertainers. So I apologize for- This is how we tee them up. Annie and you know that I had earlier,

I'm going to now be the mature version of myself. Despicable. Because today's questioners are two thirds of the iconic Canadian children's folk music trio, Sharon, Lois and Bram. Known for their iconic songs like old John Brattle, Brattle'em. That's right.

What? You guys know what Brattle'em is? It's that. Okay. That's right. What? Do you guys know what brattle-um is? It's that. Okay. It's that song. Skin-a-Marink. We know that song, right? Skin-a-Marinky-dinky-dink. Skin-a-Marinky-doo.

Fish and chips and vinegar and of course, hi, my name is Jo. I got a wife and three kids and I work in a button factory. Guys, guys, I can't believe this is a full circle moment. It's a full circle moment because we talked very early on on the handsome pod, I introduced you guys to the Joe, the button maker factory song.

We were, you guys were talking about, I thought I was in some kind of like fever dream. I didn't know it was world famous. People sounded off in the comments. We posted the clip and the internet went wild. So many people commented, it brought up this whole new love of the song. People were like, I know this song, oh my gosh.

And then our friends here, they posted their singing of it. That went viral. It was a whole wonderful moment. So here they are on the Hanson pod asking today's question, Sharon and Bram asking a question. Sharon Hampson and Bramwell Morrison. I never knew that Bram was, his full name is Bramwell Morrison. I never knew that Bram was,

his full name is Bramwell Morrison. I did not know that either, Mae. I love that I know that. Now we know. Hi, I'm Sharon. I'm Bram. If you know anything about Sharon, Lois and Bram, you know we love food.

And one of our favorite foods is jelly. We're gonna have some jelly, hooray, hooray. We're gonna have some jelly, hooray, hooray. Jelly for our dinner, jelly every day. Jelly, jelly in my belly, hip, hip, hip hooray. Two, four, six, eight, tell me what's on the handsome plate. Whoa. If that song doesn't go viral, I mean. Oh my gosh. Right off the top of your head, Fortune, can you repeat that song they just sang?

Jelly, jelly in my belly, jelly on my plate, jelly in the jelly and jelly hip hooray. So the answer is no. Oh my God, that was so joyful. They're asking us what's on the handsome plate in one of the best ways we've ever been asked a question? I know, why aren't we demanding songs from our questioners? Yeah, why aren't we?

Yeah, we need to change that moving forward. Do you think Jen Ransom will redo her question into song? I think she will. Or Tom Hanks. Yeah. Do you think we need to answer in song? Well, that's gonna be, I mean, you're a musician, May. No, but anytime I'm put on the spot on this pod, I bomb.

Anytime we're improvising some kind of rap or song, it goes, you guys crush it, then it comes to me and I absolutely panic. You wrote the iconic song, chatting with friends on the handsome pod, chatting with friends on the handsome pub. Chatting with friends on the handsome pub. Cheers. Clank.

Oh man, what's on the handsome plate? I'm assuming that's asking us what's our favorite food. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I just want mine to be a song so badly. Well, you can- So I'll work on it. You answer first. Yeah, you think, come up with in your head

what you think the song would be. I don't think I have the skills to write that song into song. Have I told you guys I have become obsessed with my new smoothie? No, let's hear about it. Oh boy. Oh boy.

Well, it's gonna be a good one. But unless it has berries in it, which it probably does. You don't like berries? The seeds, fortune hates the seeds. Oh right. Yeah. Gosh, well you can skip the berries.

Okay. But I'm real into this, okay? Okay. And I haven't even been having my decaf latte or cortada or anything in the morning because I get so excited now to make this smoothie and I feel so good that it almost feels like my taste buds, my body doesn't even want any sort of coffee beverage. Really?

Interesting. And what you feel energized, you feel? Yeah, yeah, I feel really good. But I put unsweetened soy milk. Okay. Half a banana, chia seeds, hemp seeds, oats, spinach. Wow. Broccoli. Whoa. Broccoli!

Broccoli. That's where you lost me. I didn't see broccoli coming. Spinach, I know, is a thing in healthy smoothies, but broccoli is a woe. Here's the other thing. One of a massive cancer fighter is broccoli sprouts. Okay, all right. And broccoli sprouts, real good to eat.

And so sometimes I'll just put broccoli sprouts in there and if I don't have broccoli sprouts I have frozen broccoli that I put in there. I personally also add frozen wild blueberries, raspberries as well, wow, and flax seeds, just just a whole tornado of stuff in there. Yeah that sounds like a healthy thing, a smoothie. Is it filling up like a big cup? Oh yeah, it's like a 750 calorie smoothie. It's like massive. Yeah, it's a good way.

I'm gonna buy a blender. I also will put a plant-based protein powder in there. Oh, I haven't finished. I also put either peanut butter or almond butter in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.

That's your handsome play. Oh, and cinnamon. I put cinnamon in there. And is this a meal? I'll have that for breakfast. Okay. You know, whether it's my overnight oats or my smoothie. Mm-hmm.

And then, you know, I love a grain bowl. Yeah. Yeah, so those are the things that I love. And when you're in Toronto, are you doing that smoothie? Oh, yes, I am. And in the, I truly, when I go to bed at night, I cannot wait to wake up and have this smoothie. I got, when I was filming, I asked catering

to make me like a smoothie every morning with all kinds of stuff in it. Yeah. And I did look forward to it. Yeah. Yeah. It makes me really excited to get up and start my day. Nice. Yeah.

Good for you, you're so healthy, I love it. I try, but you know what? I also, I landed really late. My flight was late the other night. I went to my show. I didn't have time to stop to eat and just ate a big old basket of french fries. So I also sneak in anything like that.

Fortune, what's on your handsome plate? Wow, definitely different. Definitely different. Orange chicken. Yeah, sign me up. Don't give something that will end up in the back of the closet or lost under the couch. Turtle Beach has been the number one choice for gaming headsets for years. So give them a gift they will actually love this year. Whether you're treating yourself or looking for the perfect gift,

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That's rocketmoney.com slash handsome rocketmoney.com slash handsome. What is on my handsome plate? I could have been thinking about this, but I was in the moment listening about your very healthy smoothie. I was not in the moment listening. I was trying to write my song. I, if I'm doing a smoothie, I really like, milk, almond butter, dates, banana, protein powder. To me, that's like a yummy, yummitastic smoothie.

This is all a lot more complicated than jelly, jelly, jelly, jelly, jelly, jelly. It sure is. But their jelly song did make me think of something that's not the healthiest snack, but I do love it. I'm not gonna lie. It is a Uncrustable. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the peanut butter and jelly? Yeah, peanut butter and jelly in the frozen food.

I think you told me about that. You talked about that. And I'd never heard of it. And then I tried it and I love it. They're amazing. You can get them on set. Usually sets have them because they're very easy, an easy snack. I'm not allowed to buy them at home because they're very easy, an easy snack.

I'm not allowed to buy them at home because they're full of processed things, I'm sure. Or yeah, I'm pretty confident about that. Million percent. So on my plate, I would say, I'm going back to my standard pad thai. You guys know I love it. Love a pad thai. Yeah, yeah. Love a pad thai. It I love it. I love a Pad Thai.

I love a Pad Thai. It's on my plate. Like a Pad See You. In my belly. Pad See You is good too. That's Jack's favorite for Thai food. Yeah. Mine's a Pad Thai.

That's on my plate, y'all. Yes ma'am. With some tofu in there, right? Yeah, I like tofu. Sometimes I do get chicken. I know I need to be eating less meat. When I was in Mississippi a couple of years ago, or maybe it was a year ago, who cares?

One of my cousins was talking about how disgusting she thought tofu was, and my other cousin genuinely said, baby, don't say that. You're going to hurt Tiggs feelings. And she was like, what? It tastes like you're just chewing on your own thumb. Made me laugh to think like that.

I was that sensitive. So then like, don't talk about tofu like that. I love tofu so much. It hurts deep. It cuts me deep. So painful what you said. I will ask, why is the tofu in the pad thai usually kind of hard?

And then the tofu in the grocery store is really soft? I guess they deep fried in the pad thai. Yeah, they haven different kind of tofu. I guess they deep fried it in the pack time. Yeah, they haven't fried it yet. I mean, you don't have to fry it. You can roast tofu. You can do many different things. They're frying that baby. Okay, do you guys wanna hear my song?

Oh, of course. I can't wait. Okay, ready? Yeah. When I'm feeling lonely, the feeling sometimes lingers. I get a plate and I take out some frozen chicken fingers. When my soul is aching and my mood cannot be saved, I put some breaded chicken into my microwave.

Crunchy on the outside, fluffy chicken in between. I'm the happiest handsome that the world has ever seen. Don't care where it came from. Don't care where it came from. Don't care where it's been. As long as it's frozen chicken fingers, I'm living the dream. Yay! Well done, little cowboy.

Thanks so much. Why wasn't it a country song, little cowboy? Oh, it was kind of. I had a little twang in there. Yeah. You have everything. I went comfort food, yes. country song, little cowboy. Oh, it was kind of a, Kind of a twang in there. on the happiest handsome, yeah. You have ever seen. I went comfort food, yes.

That was, May, that's impressive. That is. That's great rhyming. You're a real talent. In very short amount of time. That was so not impressive. You guys are so nice to me. It is impressive to us. Wow, May. Wow.

And our friends would be so impressed too. When they hear this pod, their minds gonna be blown. I hope Sharon and Bram, I mean, there's a sort of vague hint of depression running through it. There's like an, you know, you can listen. There's a darkness there.

Oh, okay. You didn't pick that up with my soul is aching and my mood cannot be saved. I think I missed that part. I think you guys, you just heard the jaunty melody. I didn't hear the jaunty melody. How did that escape me? When I'm feeling lonely, the feeling sometimes lingers.

I get a plate and I take out some frozen chicken fingers. I have to be honest, when you said lingers, I knew chicken fingers was coming. Did you? Chicken fingers was coming as well. And I got excited because I lingers, I knew chicken fingers was coming. Did you? Chicken fingers was coming as well. And I got excited because I love, I also love chicken fingers. Love it.

I think I was just impressed that you were rhyming lingers and fingers. And I wasn't thinking about the undertone. I had some for lunch today. I had some frozen chicken fingers and an Amy's microwavable frozen mushroom risotto. I gotta start cooking. I love Amy's.

Yeah. Having just like a frozen bean and rice burrito in the freezer is real helpful to just be like boom. I do have one of those Amy's burritos in there. Yeah. Now, Fortune, can you sing my smoothie? Tigger's got a smoothie. It helps with your booty. It's got a lot of things in it that are good for you.

It's got broccoli and banana and berries. No poo. Cause Tigger doesn't like the on her shoes. Whoa. That's so good. Yeah. Fortune, did you come up with that right off the, really? I just made it up too. Wow.

If I was gonna do a song about your smoothie take, I'd really- Yeah, I mean what you got? Well, I'd luxuriate around the unsweetened soy milk. So it'd be like, it'd be more like, unsweetened soy milk. Like it'd be really kind of a sexy. Yeah, like a lounge.

Clown kind of. Yeah, crooner, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Flacks. Yeah, we're waiting. Well, if you're wondering what's in my cup, I'll tell you that attracts because I'm combining 25 ingredients with flax. That's good.

Good. Oh, my gosh. May, I think you should start running jingles. Thank you. Sharon and Bram are going to feel like we're running them out of town with all this talent. One Canadian's running the other Canadians out of town. That's right. They look amazing and sound amazing

and their voices are so familiar to me. It's like part of my DNA. I love it. I think I saw them live when I was a kid. Wow. Oh, were you dead? Yeah, they used to do tours and I'm certain I saw them live

and I stood up and did the skin and my rinky dinky dink. So there's a dance that goes with it. I don't remember what it is. Thomas knows who they are too. They were big in Canada, right? I mean, they came down to the States as well, but. Yeah, I also saw them live as a kid. Did you?

That's hilarious. Imagine if you and I didn't know it that we were next to each other. Screaming your heads off. Yeah, screaming like we were seeing the Beatles. Thomas Faints. Do you think that's where your love of jingles and rhyming songs started?

I didn't know I had a love of jingles. Good question, Fortune. Yeah, great. Good question. I didn't know until this moment. Heart-hitting journalism. You didn't know until this moment. Heart-hitting journalism. You didn't know that that was a skill you possessed? No, no, not till this very moment.

Look down at that paper. Yeah. Because it's right there. Look down, little cowboy, and see what you're capable of. But if I listen back to this episode, I'm gonna be embarrassed, because I'm gonna notice that when you guys are talking, I'm just like, uh-huh, well, yeah.

Because I was focusing so hard. Yeah, that's true, it was an assignment. Yeah, okay, so that's like that. Do you guys show love with food, like cooking for someone? I think they would think I was showing hate. They tasted something I made. They were like, why do you hate me? Why do you hate me?

I'm not a good cook. I know you said Stephanie's a good cook. Yeah, she got into cooking and- And loves her own cooking. That's what I love about it. I mean, she loves it so, she can't believe how good every meal is that she makes. It's so funny.

I mean, no notes. She has no notes for herself. Oh, that's impressive too has no notes for herself. I don't know. That's impressive too. It's so great. She did make some type of loaf once that was sweating. Oh my God. Did you tell her you didn't care for it?

No, we were laughing so hard when she took it out of the oven and it was truly sweating. Oh my God. And I have to say, we laugh at the house still about Thomas because he has been around for so long in our lives, like as an assistant and like when the babies were born and he's just been around forever. And Stephanie will every now and then be like,

oh my God, I can't believe the things that Thomas ate. Like we would just turn and be like, Thomas, do you want this? And he'd be like, yes, please. But that's how like when you have kids and babies, you're just cleaning up scraps and like what they don't eat. And that was kind of our diet for a few years. It was like, I would say me, Stephanie and Thomas

lived off of like crust and mac, you know, mac and cheese. And jelly, and jelly. And jelly. Yeah, but yeah, every now and then it comes up of like the things that Thomas ate that Max and Finn didn't eat. But I mean, we did too. It's just, he's not their parent.

Right, he just. Yeah, he was just there. We were like, do you want this? He was just the garbarator. Sure. Thomas, do you have that memory as well? For sure, and I had three younger brothers growing up, so I think it just came automatically,

like yeah, I'll eat what's left over. Yeah. Are you a picky eater? Not anymore, I was as a kid. I was so picky. Pickles and cheese, that was what I lived off of. Really? Because you were how old when you became vegan?

I mean, like it's been eight years, I think. Oh, okay. Okay, go on. Were you vegetarian before that? No. Whoa. Oh, you went from eating everything to vegan. Yeah, I ate whatever.

And then after I was sick, I was still having like pain and people just had recommended that I try eating plant-based and I read about it and tried it out and then never turned back. I know it's in my future. I'm just kind of holding off till the moment comes, but I know it is in my future. I'm just kind of holding off till the moment comes, but I know it is in my future. But right now it's these frozen chicken fingers.

You can get pretty good fake chicken fingers though. Oh my gosh, we have once a week, Max and Finn have these little chicken nuggets that are so good. Yes. They're so good. But it's after they have baseball practice because their friends used to all go to this little restaurant and have chicken nuggets.

And they had these vegan chicken nuggets and Stephanie found them in the store, the exact kind that the restaurant had. Oh man, I wish somebody would like organize my life into rituals like that. Like the way when you're a kid, you're like, on Wednesday we do this, and then I have my baseball on this day,

like I'm with shoes. That'd be so relaxing. A nugget day. Yeah, time for a nugget. A nugget day sounds good. And I wish someone once a day would tell me it's bath time. That would be really good. Tig and I just text you, it's bath time.

Amen. Soak your dairy air in the hot water. really good. Tegan, I just text you. It's bath time. Hey, Mae. Soak your dairy air in the hot water. You know what time it is? It's bath time. Hey, baby, it's bath time. I'm not gonna lie, I like a bath too. I'm a bath person. I love a bath. Love it.

Love a bath bomb. I'll go into that expensive ass bath bomb store and pick one up. With your face mask on. You don't care. I'm like, this is $12. That's crazy. I'll take it.

I'm doing bath bombs on the plane in that little sink. Oh my God. I do have a surprise for you guys. Now I know Sharon and Bram, they technically asked the question and told us an answer all in one go. Yeah. But they didn't want to leave us hanging at the end. And, um, I don't, I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Are they here in person? Like the Indigo girls. Here's a little extra treat for us. Let's hear it. Skinnamorinky dinky dink, skinnamorinky doo. I love you. I love you, fortune. I love you.

I love you, Tink. I love you. I love you, May. Oh. I love you too. Boop boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop.

Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop.

Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. have tears in your eyes. I actually do, like that is really incredible. Did you hear, I don't know if you could hear it, Bram said A. He did?

Like a Canadian. Oh. I also got, look, I'm actually tearing up. I got really nervous when they did Fortune and Take. For some reason, I thought they're not gonna say much. They don't have a clue. Oh, come on. They're not gonna say.

Little cowboy, they can't forget you. We asked them to not include you, but they insisted. Yeah. What? Oh man, I'm gonna really treasure that forever. Yeah, you can, we'll send you the video and everything. You can have it so whenever you're having a bad day, you can pull that out.

And remember that you're loved. Boop, boop, be-do. I always think it's such an interesting thing, those full circle moments like that, where you think of yourself as a kid who's listening to them and here we are, grown ass adults. Being still wooed by the magic of those songs. And if I could go back in time to being at their live show

and hearing them say my name, oh my God, I would have freaked. That's amazing. I just appreciate that they so fully backed me up about Joe and the Button Factory. Yeah, they were like, this is real and it's a huge hit and this is how it goes. Big hit. I thought that might be the surprise

that they were going to sing the Button hit. I thought that might be the surprise that they were gonna sing the button song. It could, blew it out of the water. You can go on their socials and they have that video of them singing Joe and the, Joe, what is it called Joe the button? Shrinky Dick. The button maker. Joe the button maker.

Hi, my name is Joe, I think. Oh, it's called Hi, my name is Joe. Hi, my name is Joe. That was the equivalent of like, if Paul McCartney sent us a video and instead of singing Hey Jude, he sang like, Hey Fortune. I'm like, you know? Hey, Mae. Oh, I got goosebumps. Hey, Tig.

Do you know what Hey Jude is about? No, is this a Tig fact? It's about Julian Lennon? Yes. I love that. He wrote about John's son, Julian. That's sweet. I love it. And did you know Saint Jude is the patron saint

of lost causes? Oh. Oh, did not know that either. What an odd thing. There's some weird saints, man. I mean, that's a beautiful poetic one, but there's also Saint Sydney is this patron saint of rabid dogs.

Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Do you guys want more Panda Express facts? Yes, please. Yes, please. The owners are a couple and they've been married for like 47 years and they're college sweethearts. Really?

Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Everyone knows that one though. I think I might order from there. Tonight. Again, not sponsored by the band express. Just happen to know these random facts.

Well, I feel like we really nailed it with this episode. I mean, what a podcast, guys. What a podcast. Share your favorite episodes with all of your favorite friends and family and let's continue to grow the community. Subscribe, review, rate. Pick up some, we have some Wicked merch on our website, some really good stuff.

We're not selling merch for the movie Wicked. It's just wicked cool merch. We've decided to sell merch from the movie. We also have a live streaming holiday extravaganza on December 21st. Yes. We want you to be there. So get your ticket now at our social media pages

or dynastytypewriter.com. Have a viewing party, dress like a handsome host. Tag us. Which so many people did on Halloween, by the way. Yeah. Yeah, I loved it. Cool. That was fun. I don't know why people were putting a pillow in their costume for me, but whatevs. I don't know why when people were doing my hair, they were often wearing

like a Princess Diana wig almost like it was blonde. I don't know why people are dressed like their grandfather. I didn't see some mustaches, which was hilarious. Yeah, we're going to be in our home that, you know, dynasty typewriter home base with all the great equipment. So it's going to be smooth sailing. If you're in Toronto, come to comedy bar and check me out working out my new material. I pretty much live there. I'm at Largo. I'm at the end of the world. If you're in Toronto, come to Comedy Bar and check me out working out my new material.

I pretty much live there. I'm at Largo a couple of times a month, so check out my Instagram. I'm also doing a benefit in Toronto on the 15th for Birdsong Foundation, so check that out. Thank you to all the people who've watched my special on Netflix, crushing it. Please continue to watch it because any viewing helps. And yeah, I'm very proud of it. Watch it and then just like leave it playing in the background over and over.

Yeah. And if you don't have time to watch it right now, just turn it on. Cause the first few weeks are on Netflix, very, very important. So if you know you're gonna watch it with your family over the holidays, just turn it on, because the first few weeks are on Netflix, very, very important. So if you know you're gonna watch it with your family over the holidays, just turn it on now, and you can get to it then.

And also I just announced a bunch of tour dates for my new tour that will be starting in the new year. Well, we did it again, And until next time, I mean. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tigno Taro, Mae Martin and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com.

Follow us on social media at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gun podcast. Handsome's the audio version of my comedy special Hello Again is available everywhere just in time for the holidays. Go to tignotaro.com to get a copy for you and a loved one now. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Mike, you know to check your phone for a new

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There's a feeling of goodwill around town It could only mean one thing McRib is here People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere Stockings hung up by the chimney with care It could only mean one thing McRib is here