Handsome - The Hunting Wives ask Handsome questions... LIVE!

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

LIVE from the Netflix is a Joke Festival, Brittany Snow and Malin Akerman dish about steamy scenes in "The Hunting Wives" and ask Tig, Mae and Fortune some questions! Enjoy this special bonus episode, Handsomes!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTube and HuluThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod's live show for the Netflix. It's a joke comedy festival. I apologize. I forgot to stand up here and wave for a little bit. bit and I was just... You went straight down. Yep, I saw my seat. We were, and I went for it. You guys, look at this sexy couch we have behind us. Very nice. Yes. Oh man, we're going to talk a lot on that couch. We're going to talk a lot. We got some, we have some beautiful whiskey here.

We have whiskey and what looks like a wine decanter. Yeah, I've never seen this before. Yeah. Is that not supposed to be there? Uh, no, I got, I've got, I've, I've never seen whiskey in a kind of globule. Is that what you call that? A globule? What did you call it? Is that a globule? Would you call that?

Would you call that shape? Yeah. Is it a globule? This is a globule. I feel like May is smarter than me for sure. Because I said globule? Yeah, I've never heard that word. I feel like if you said it, I'd have to say Fortune Marie.

Oh, because it would have some sexual innuendos? I feel like if I heard globule come out of your mouth, that would be like that's definitely sexual. That's right. But also out of your mouth too. Well, I have to say, I don't think it's a real word. Yeah, I can guarantee you it's not a real word. Oh.

This is where I say I'm not as smart as you guys. Speaking of globuls. Yeah. I was just snacking on a charcutory board. Yeah. And, yeah, you guys know I love that. Put a little pocket cheese in there. Yeah.

And keep in mind. Yes. Not all of the people here. Listen to our podcast. Listen to our podcast. Oh, that's true. Give us a cheer if you are here to see our amazing guests from the Hunting Wives. Yeah.

Okay, yes. Because when we arrived at the venue, there was a group of screaming teenage girls, and we were like, hey, yeah, and they were like, who are you? Okay, let's hear who's here to see handsome. All right. They know about cheese in your pocket. Who's here to see both? Yes.

Now back to your charcutory. Oh, I was just going to remind everyone that you can't say the word charcutory without the word. Cooter, that's right. If you learn nothing tonight, you'll remember that. And that's the kind of show we're about to have, y'all. And tonight is about learning. Yes, tonight is about learning. Yeah.

Globule. This is our first time at the Wiltern as a pod. This is exciting. Yes. Yes. Tig, you wore your fanciest of outfits for this occasion. May did have it on a Phantom of the Opera T-shirt. I changed.

Because I saw how beautiful Mullen and Brittany look. Mullen and Brittany look amazing. I can't be wearing a crumpled Phantom of the Opera shirt. If you guys want to know how gay this show is, right before we came out here, we were petting kittens. the ASPCA brought them to promote fostering kittens

so you gotta foster kittens guys You guys, you have to There was one that fell A kitten for everyone when you leave There was a kitten that fell asleep On May's chest It was heaven A tiny little black kitten

And it was doing like the long blinks And then it slowly fell asleep Oh, man. Fell asleep on your honey love bra. Right on my honey love bra. We share one. We pass our honey-lone. Yeah, Teague and I share one bra.

Yeah. Yeah. And we keep it in the dumpster with my tits. Yeah. Is that where you keep all tit-related paraphernalia? Well, that's all that's in there is a couple that sawed-off tits and a honey. And a honey-love. I was going to say honey-nut bra, but that's cereal.

The people here are you. The people here for the hunting wives are like, what is happening? I mean. Yeah, but if you watch the hunting wives, this is fine, right? Sure. A lot of tits and stuff. There are tits in that show. I was a big fan.

Yeah. Uh-huh. That's right. Portia Marie. Come on. I like a Texas woman that starts scissoring. And boy, do I have a lot of questions. Oh, my God.

When Malin and Brittany come out here. I feel like an awkward teen, like an embarrassed teenager. Like, oh, guys, we have that. Let's be careful with our questions. That feels like more of an awkward parent or grandparent. Oh, yeah, that's true. I don't know if you guys knew this, but our little cowboy just had a birthday. Yes.

Happy birthday, May. Are you 40? No, I'm 39. How dare you? I'm sorry. Yeah, how dare you were both well past that? Dare you. I'm going to have a full breakdown when I turn 40, I think.

I'm more than halfway to 100. That's wild. Yeah. And you're old enough to go in a retirement home. Is that right? Take us old enough to get a free soda at fast food restaurants. Yeah. I think it's because I've over-identified with, like, you.

Peter Pan. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. At some point, Peter Pan does turn 40. I know, he turns into Robin Williams. Yeah. Did you find when you guys turned 40, people, like your colleagues respected you more?

I don't remember. I don't remember that far back. I'm trying to think who my colleagues were when I was 40. Yeah, I don't know if I've had colleagues. I just, I did hope that when I turned 40, my colleagues would, respect me. Do you say colleague or is that? That's a May term.

That's not a May term. Colleague. Yeah, I've never heard that word until you said it. Wait. What do you mean? Nobody's heard of colleagues. What is this word? Two against one. Are you pranking me? Never heard of colleagues. Never. Is this a prank?

Oh my God. Also, by the way, is this an episode of Between Three Ferns? Yeah, that's what it feels like. Yeah, I did have my birthday recently. Oh, right, right. Yeah. Happy birthday to you. This is what we want.

Thank you so much. And now we have a stripper. Oh my God. The hunting wives. We have a magic mic all come out. Oh my god, a magic mic situation would be amazing. I really want to take a magic mic dancing class. Oh, yeah?

I want to do Magic Mike. Where they, like, grab us in the chair and, you know. Yeah. I won't. I won't. Wedged you in there. I would love for them to pick me up in this chair. I'm like, do the...

Pick me up on that couch. I know. You know, I've heard that at the Live Vegas show, they put girls on the piano and, like, act like they're, you know... Right? Someone girl away. Yep, best night of my life. What do you mean you heard?

Like, who are you talking to? I can't imagine. I'm an magic mic chat room. You're on the Reddit threads. I can't. I live for their chat rooms. I truly cannot imagine ever ending up in a magic mic conversation.

Okay. You'd be amazed how often I do. I believe it was Nikki Glazer who told me that. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. That totally checks out.

But even for her, she's like, whoa, this is a lot. Really? Yeah. And how do you think we would respond? I would pay a large amount of money to see both of you put on a piano. Well, the move that I would want to do is... Let's see it. I just want to...

May, people pay good money for this. Well, okay, if you're the... If you're the pretty little lady... But only if you want to. I'm the pretty little lady. Who am I? What? Wait.

I don't think this is going to be worth it. It's already worth it. Let's see it. No, the setup is the best part. Okay. You do the wheel. You want to gyrate or something. Okay.

Now pop that pop. There we go. That's it. That was worth me moving those glasses. It didn't turn out how I hoped at all. In my mind, I was. was going to be like rolling like yeah I thought I thought I was going to get butt in my face I thought you were too and then it was really hard well hey listen I can't do a plank so I was thrilled with

my role in that you did great yeah I've never seen the wheel barrel happen in person it was the wheel barrel yeah do the wheel barrel barrel a little wheel barrel barrel is it barrel or barrel barrel oh yeah I don't Barrow? Or Barrow. You just say it real fast. Which one is it? Barrel. Barrel? Barrel. Barrel. No. Barrel. It's Barrow. What is happening?

What is... I'm only trusting this guy right here. Barrow. Barrow. I'm only trusting the one guy in the room. It's... This one man. Am I wrong? Wait. I believe this man right here.

Wait, I think in some states it's wheeled barra. Wheel, butta. What is it? Okay, cheer if you think it's Barrow with the W. This is so embarrassing. Cheer if you think it's Barrel with an L. Why are you going to leave me down that road, sir? Okay, okay.

Believe all women. I dated somebody that said Chester drawers. That's good. Even I know that. Wait, that would be my magic. I thought it was Chester Droars. Good. I think Chester Droars would be my Magic Mike name.

Yeah, Chester Droars. That's a good one. That's a good magic name. But can we Google and find out if it's Barrow or? Wait, I believe the Arlington has told us. Barrel. It's barrel. With L's. Thank God.

Two L's. I hope you guys go tell everyone. Excuse me. How amazing this show was. What is it? Oh, now we're... I need it from your lips to God.

Why is this so hard? It's wheelbarrow with a doubly. Oh, so you were right, sir. God damn it. So he was right after all? Turns out May's a dumb-dum. Wow. Now I'm never going to get...

A lot of people scream for the barrel. I know, and now I'm never going to get my colleagues to respect me. And our audience is forever changed. This month, we're so excited to celebrate. Pride Month with Tom Boy X. Just like handsome, Tom Boy X is proudly queer, queer founded, queer run, and queer designed. They got everything your handsome little heart could desire, from thongs to boy shorts to nine-inch briefs. Tomboi X is as inclusive as they come with 12 different silhouettes and three different fabrics so you can get your fit exactly like you like it. I've been loving their

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and tell them Handsome Pod sent you. Guys, I did have my birthday. Oh, yeah, that's right. And you're not 40. Are you guys? I did have a birthday. I'm 39. Tell us what you did. Well, I went, so you were away fishing.

I was. As I often do. You, I knew, would not be interested. But I did invite Stephanie. But just because I knew this would be your idea of how. Listen, I don't take any offense when my wife is invited to a small gathering that I'm not invited to. No, wait. I swear I invited both of you, actually.

I said no. Okay, yeah. You said I can't. You're invited to the outings for colleagues, so just... I think I recall saying, no, thank you. Yes, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was polite. So I ended up doing laser tag, and I was so excited, and I booked, private booked it.

And then when I showed up, I was like, oh, my God, this place is actually for toddlers. Like, everyone was five, and I had a little private birthday room with balloons and little plates, and they'd ordered pizza. and um five isn't a toddler but go on you're right like what is five infant five is a five is not infant is five what is happening what is five somebody somebody google it please five a globule what is five but also why isn't it a wheel barrel you know yeah thank you because well we can talk about that later but okay but the big news of the birthday was guess who did come who mr. Thomas. Yes. Nice. The producer of the handsome pod. And if you listen to the pod or you know Thomas is a sweet,

gentle soul, wrong. Thomas dominated, won both rounds of laser tag. He was like, he was like crawling along the ground basically. A Canadian killer. It was wild. And he kept getting me. And you know, your vest. No, we don't know how you're, you know your laser vest powers down for about seconds after get hit. Yes. And then he would hide around the corner and just get me again. It was wild. Anyway, I saw another.

Double get? I saw another side of him. Yeah. So wait, when you get got. When you get got. Your vest powers down? Yeah, you're out of action for about five seconds. Why?

Punishment? Somebody Google it. No more Googling. Is that the name of our podcast now? Google it. That sounds fun. though. It was fun, thanks. Yeah, I did cry once. Wait, why? Oh, well, during laser tag? It's because it's May's birthday and they can cry if they want to. Yeah,

that kind of, I don't know, kind of for no reason. I got a little, a little emo and then, um, but wait, why? That's literally what I just asked. I know, but remember how wheelbarrel hit me later? That's true. That just happened. So tell us, why? I think because on birthdays, you're like, I hope that people know me, you know? Like, I hope my friends and loved ones really know me. And then... Good boy. I don't know. I don't know.

I just get overwhelmed. And then I got three texts from ex-girlfriends, and all three of them said, have you cried yet? And I was like, oh, I cried. Okay. Yeah, which I didn't realize. Yeah, yeah. But I guess I do quit. One of them was like, how are the vibes?

funereal. Funereal. Yeah, so I guess I do get emo on my birthday. I didn't know that about myself. But listen, you've been fishing. Yes. This weekend, fortune went fishing. I did go fishing this weekend because I'm butch.

Yeah. Yeah. My brother's been asking me to go fishing for years. When's the last time you were fishing? 20 years ago. Wow. Today? Yeah, today's the anniversary of that.

20 years ago. I went on a cruise in Alaska. Okay. Wait, with your brother? No, this was my family, my friend's family. Oh, 20 years ago. Oh, okay. And as one of the excursions, we went fly fishing.

And it was fun, but I haven't been since. And my brother's a big fisherman. And so I decided to go to the great city of Buffalo up by Niagara. Buffalo is a great city. The wings are not, you don't eat these, but. The wings are pretty great. Okay, but it's a very progressive city. Oh, they were delicious.

Did you, I know you were really worried about the worms. I didn't want to bait my hook. Yeah. Because I am a pretty little lady. Yeah. As well as Bush. Butch. Yeah.

Of course. Yeah. Yeah. You knew that. Yes, I do. But I didn't want to bait my hook because, ew. And what else? I, um, I didn't want to touch the fish.

Wait So you went fishing So what part did you do You held the rod Well that's And so what about when you took the fish off the hook Or did you clean the fish? No, it was catch and release

We put them back Okay That's good Well that's I know you don't love it But you know it's fine Everybody was fine But you know

I felt like I was really good at fishing Because for years I've been doing that dance move Where you go Oh my gosh God, it paid off. It paid off. That's great.

What is that? Well, I know, I just saw it, but what is that from? And then you catch. You do it. You go like, then you hump. When does that happen? On the dance floor. On the dance floor.

But wait a minute. To like a stranger? It can be. Ideally. And how long has that dance been? Is that like? From the beginning of time, Jesus' days. Is that true?

You know when he... Well, this is a curveball about my personality. I don't go to dance clubs. So I don't know about the fish hook. You never seen that ever? No. I got to say, I don't know if I've seen it in person. I've seen it in like welfare movies.

Which you're in a lot of. Yeah, I'm in a couple of those. And so do you do the fish hook, Dan? What is it called? Sure, we'll call it the fish hook dance. But it doesn't have a... Do you guys know if it has a name? Reeling it in?

Reeling it in. That sounds about right? It'd be good if you did it, and then the person you got, like, mimed, like really committed to being a dead fish flopping around, panicking. Well, then you walk away. Do that now. I feel like I've done a lot of physical comedy tonight. I don't want to flop around.

This is May. Oh. I'm a very inhibitive person. You have great glutes. You got this. Oh, thank you. Made jumps at great glutes. Oh, wow.

Okay. All that. Okay. A fuzzy carpet did get on you. One more time, but not behind the monitors. We do need a lint roller now. I really regretted that. We do need a lint roller.

I really committed and it wasn't worth it. I got you. I got you. Thanks, bud. That's what friends are for in good times and bad times. That's what friends are for. That's what friends are for. I know you.

Oh my God, I feel seen and understood. I can't believe I said that about my friends knowing me. That was a weird thing to say. Oh my God, I didn't even get it why you said that. It was an amazing callback that five. people thought was so insightful. I was like, okay, well.

Because May cried because they were like, I get it now, wheelbarrel. Does anyone know me? I don't know. I don't really know if that's why I cry. I think it's like New Year's Eve, like your pressure. Yeah, I start bawling. Well, because you kind of take stock of your year

and your life and it's like a forced kind of. And how is your year? Great. It was great. You know, it was sad. Have you guys had a good year? Hey, that's not great. It's going to get better.

Yeah. When does that happen? Yeah. In two months. Really? Well, astrologically, because I'm a tourist, I'm entering, like, a very good period for seven years. You know, you've heard about this? No.

Oh. I've exited your anus or something. You got so excited that you wanted to talk about horoscope. Oh my God, you've heard about this. It's like you don't know me. I know, you're right, you're right. Wow.

I do. I do. Do you? I think so. Test me. You think I know the fish dance and what tourists do? The fish dance surprised me that you'd never heard of it. But I accept that you don't know about.

What was the other dance in the beginning of our podcast that I didn't know? Oh, the slide. The boogie-woogie, choo-choo-choo slide. The electric slide. Did you also not know it or just didn't know it? Both of them don't know what the electric slide is. Now I know. You guys need to go back and hear the early episode.

You can feel it. It's electric. Boogie-wogie-woogie. I know it now. I know the song. I don't know the dance. But anyway, so. They also don't know the wobble-it song.

Okay, tonight I'm going to go out to a dance club. after the show. Let's go out after this. No, I'm going alone. You're going to go alone? I'm going to go alone. I'm just going to walk out to the middle of a dance floor. And I'm just going to cast my line.

Just see who you get. Yeah. That would be a fun, like, hidden camera moment. That would be fun. Put it on the list. Oh, yeah, Thomas. Put it on the list. We don't know where you is.

The thing that you guys didn't know is they'd never heard of Rumpel. Colleagues. Colleagues or Rumpel Stiltskin. No, I heard of it. We've heard of this. Really? Yeah. I swear I said Rumpel Stiltskin and you guys were like, who?

No. Oh, the Pied Piper of Hamlin? I've heard of the Pied Piper. Okay. Yeah, I didn't know about Hamlet. Well. But there's plenty of stuff we don't know. Like what?

Orgies. Oh, you do know a lot about orgies than we do. You brought it up, not me. I know, I regret it. Yeah, you did bring that up. Yeah. Have you had, did you have one for your birthday? No, my birthday...

You should have one on the couch tonight, right here. No, if I am having one, I am going back to Laser Tag to... Wait, what? It was a joke, and it bombed. No, I haven't had one in so long. I'm not an orgy person. I just had a season. I'm not an orgy person.

I just had a couple months of many of them. But it just happened to be like right when we started the podcast. That's true. That was when May's Internet started working at 1030. That's for you OG listeners from day one. Yes. How is your Internet these days? Patchy

Patchy So for those of you who don't know We were about to record Our very first episode And May was like Was it our first? It was like early Like first five

One of one of those And May was like We were scheduled to record At like 9 a year And it was right after Canada day Also my birthday Which means orgy time Yeah

And May was like I'm running late My internet is down But it's gonna start working at 10.30. I really thought I'd get away with it. And Tick and I immediately like, well, that's a lie. And so you come on and you're like, oh, my internet.

And we're like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was embarrassing. Have you ever had another excuse where you're like, I'm just going to throw it out there and like what? Yeah, tell us. Just so we know in the future.

I think I'm doing a lot better with my... You've been way better. Yeah. My webs of lies. Yeah. It's because I'm a people pleaser and so I'll... I get so paranoid about being in trouble or being late that I'll... That you just lie.

Sometimes I go big. Yeah. Like how big? We had to teach May that that's worse. Or like, that part you're doing now is worse. It's like I got a rash on my face or... We would be able to see that. Yeah.

I was having... Yeah. I was having a massage and I heard a crack. They were walking on my back and I heard a crack. I said that once. To who? Okay, well, I'm scared he's here. Well, no one outside of this room will hear it.

This is not being streamed, so you're in a safe space. To a comedy promoter and I had a show and I was, I think, just probably crying about how no one knows me or something. I don't know. I couldn't do it. and I said, I'm so sorry, I'm in agony. Oh, no. I was having a massage, and I heard a crack.

And he goes, should I call an ambulance? Yeah. He's like, are you on the floor right now? And I was like, no, no, I'll be fine. I'll be fine at 9.30 tonight. If you see me out in about. You know the go-to is just diarrhea, right? That's what I should be doing.

But it is. Nobody is going to ask any questions. Nobody's going to demand anything They'll just go When you're sliding in the first And you feel a big burst Diarrhea I haven't thought about that in 20 years

Diarrhea? Yeah, the song Then how does it go? When you're going into second And you feel something unpleasant, Diary When you're going into third That's not very catchy

Diary When you're going in home And your pants are full of foam Diary Foam? What? It rhymes with home. Did you just make that up?

No, I think that's, it's the right one. My friends just told me. How do you know them? We're all friends now. Oh. I've been looking at them for moral support. But have you, they know me.

Have you ever said you had diarrhea when you didn't? Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. Actually, yes. To Miss Garrow in grade six. Oh, yeah. Because I hadn't done, I hadn't done my homework like nine times in a row. and it was time for everyone to hand their stuff in and I said can I go to the bathroom

and then I went to the bathroom stayed in there for ages came out and she was waiting for me in the hall and I said miss Giro can I call you Melanie I was like I you don't want to know the details but I cannot be here I am having a real problem I have and I remember saying I have diarrhea and her she was so not buying it and she was like I'm calling your parents and she made me then meet her at lunch every day for like a week to have special tutoring, but I had a huge crush on her, so I loved it. That sounded like a date. I loved it.

Yeah. Are you kidding? Focus one-on-one attention with your not teacher? Wait, you told the teacher you had a crush on that you had diarrhea? That's not going to work out. No, I mean, that's- She's always going to be thinking about the foam in your pants. You're right.

You're right. I always remember she told our class that she had a boyfriend. She let it slip. Yeah. And you know when you're a kid and you're like, you're devastated. And his name was Peter Schmidt. I'll remember this my whole life. Peter Schmidt.

Peter Schmidt. Wait, she was like, oh, my boyfriend. My boyfriend, you know, Peter Schmidt. Why did she say that? I don't know, actually. Because you probably. Probably we said, what's his last name? Oh.

I asked my seventh grade teacher if she had a boyfriend and she's like, that's none of your business. And I was like, touche. And she was like too gay. In partnership with Airbnb, let's talk about our spring travel plans. Fortune, I feel like every summer my family gets a little bit more adventurous with our travel plans. But there's a hitch. Oh, yeah?

What might that be? They're now getting really into competitive sports, and that means we're now traveling around their team's schedules. Hmm, let me guess. They're having you stay in a bare bones hotel on the side of a highway somewhere? That's right. So for the next big weekend, we decided to mix things up and find a home on Airbnb to stay at instead. We found a place with a massive yard so they could keep playing baseball with their pals on the team day and night.

Plus, it's got a pool, unlike the hotel we were supposed to stay at. It's even got a tree house. Wow, that sounds incredible. But I have one important question for you. Is there a hot tub? Oh, fortune. There is indeed a hot tub. So maybe after the boys go to bed, Stephanie and I will have some tub time together.

And that's what I love about finding a place on Airbnb. Instead of being trapped in our room, we get this whole unique experience. So if you're listening, go check out Airbnb and have your own adventure. Your outdoor space should feel like you. I'm still getting my new place set up. And as the weather's getting warmer, I'm now turning my attention to my outdoor areas. That's where Wayfair has been a game changer for me. With Wayfair, I've been able to find pieces that match the exact feel I'm going for.

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Oh, no. No, I have. I can't remember me. the diarrhea. I'm in touch. I have searched low and high for her. That's, we need to work on your flirting. I know, but it's a problem that I can't let go of any connection. So I'm in touch with like most of my teachers from elementary school. Yeah, like I emailed Mrs. Silver the other day. Yeah, my music teacher. And did you get a response? Yeah, she, we've been emailing. She's doing it. How do you get her email? I want to reach out. Yeah, you got to reach out. Yeah, how do you

have their emails from elementary. Yeah, I just asked that. Yeah, I was, I thought that was a good question. Yeah, thank you. I need some backup on that. I got you, boo. I, with Mrs. Silver, I went through the, her daughter on Instagram. Oh, fair, fair. I went through her daughter on Instagram. And was, was she following your career, or was it like, yeah, well, no, well, she, she was my music teacher, and she was, like, a beacon of, like, creativity in this really uptight school. She's one of those music teachers who had like really frizzy hair and long skirts and she was always like storming around. She's always like like, like that through the halls. So stressed. And you were attracted to her? No, this is a different one. A different teacher. And she, but she cast me as Charlie Brown.

She cast you as Charlie Brown. You know who is cast as peppermint Patty. I know that. Yeah. Love interest. That would make us love interest. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. Aw. Can't keep, can't keep these a pineapple pot. Yeah, two against one, I'm fine. Fortune, I like you. Oh, my hands clammy. It's not great. Those are my fishing fingers.

Fortune. Fortune. I just learned about that at a Dodgers game last week. This? Wait, what do you mean? You never heard about this before? I'm running different. different circles.

Wait, but why at a Dodgers game? I am entering a retirement home to the thing. One of the thing. You knew about this? I know about that. Oh, I know about it. Of course I know about it. But why at the Dodgers game?

Well, yeah, how did this come up at a Dodger game? Wait, what? You said you learned about this at a Dodger game. I did. How did this come up? At a Dodger game. I'll repeat myself. Because there was like a group of people that had,

they were together. together in a group and somebody in that group did bring this up. Oh, they mentioned Dane Cook. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and then they were like, Dane Cook, and then they did that. Who's Dane Cook and what's the connection? Wait, you don't know who that is? That is unbelievable.

Y'all are like under a rock. To be at a Netflix comedy, like at a comedy festival. My colleagues have been under a rock. Yeah. Is he? I'm sorry. Who is Bob Hope? Well, listen.

Listen, as much as I would love to continue this banter about two in the pink and one of this thing, we have more important things to move on to. Oh, yes, we do. Now, I personally, and all of us, are very excited about our guests tonight. So excited. You guys are in for a real treat. Yes, indeed. All right. And I don't know if you guys watched a huge hit show called The Hunting Wives.

Most of the world did. And we are very lucky to have their two stars. Let's give it up for Malin Ackerman and Brittany Snow. They do look handsome. Scoot on down. I don't objectify y'all in your suits, but damn. I know. I just, I mean, I thought you guys looked incredible when I saw you, but I'm just now clocking the year in the suits, and we're not.

I'm suddenly so embarrassed that I did that in front of you guys. We loved it. Really? Yeah. Did you know that was pretty cool? It was good role, yeah. It was fantastic. Where were you so much?

It was an electric slide, too. What? The electric slide. Where were you sitting? Just now? Yeah, were you watching from a... Or at any point in life. I sat in a lot of places.

Yeah, you have, girl. On a lot of shows. I saw where you sat. You did? Yeah. On me. That's a lesbian joke. I got it.

Yeah, you sat on her. Malin, you're a torus as well. Yes, happy birthday. It's your birthday soon. Happy birthday. Thank you. Wait, when is your birthday? May 12th.

It's coming up. Oh, happy birthday. to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Yeah I loved it

Do you know that we're entering a very powerful time as tourists? Oh boy I did not But tell me Next seven years we are good and golden This is our time We've left urinus or something Yeah

Wait you're saying you have a good stretch of time coming up time coming up? Seven years. And then that's it. And then we're done. And then we're done. Okay. Seven years seems like a long time of good luck. Brittany, what sign are you please? I'm a Pisces, yes. Oh wow. Water sign, right? Our fans love Pisces. I know. That's so nice. Is that a water sign? We are. I'm a cancer. I'm also water sign. I love cancer. I'm also water sign. I love cancer. We are. We are not together, but we love, we love. But you let people sit on you. I do. Yeah. For money and for joy. Not a lot of people. No, no, not a lot of people. No, no, no. You guys, first of all, we do have a huge congratulations on y'all's huge hit show.

Yes. Incredible. Was that one of those situations where when you were reading the scripture, like, this is, this is going to be explosive. No. No. We really weren't sure. I mean, I think it was one of those things, you know, the script came in and it was, at the time, it was for stars. Can I say that? Am I allowed to say that? We can say that. It was for stars. We know where y'all ended up.

Yes. And it was, you know, first episode, I went, wow, what, what is this? Enjoyed it. But also then you think like, oh, but I got to do this? Do I want to do this? And then I kept reading, and by the eighth episode, I was fully in. And I actually gave it to my husband, Trey. And I was like, what do you think?

By the fourth episode, he didn't come out of the room for like days. And I went, what do you think? And he's like, are you kidding me? It was tailor made for you. And I went, hmm, I'm not sure how to take it. But is it your fantasy real right now, or do you think it's a good show? He's like, it's a fantastic show. So, yeah, the writing is incredible.

It's so fun. It's so crazy. But it is that difference of, like, looking at it as an outsider and also being, the one who has to do all these things in it. Right. You know, it's very, very different, but I was... Do you want to act anything out? You got into tequila?

I'm so sorry about my aunts. Your colleagues. Did you have that same? Like, how did you feel when you read it? I read all eight episodes. Oh, no. I read all eight episodes, like, right away, and I couldn't stop. And so I knew that that was a good sign.

And I didn't really have. have the same reaction because I didn't really know that I was going to be so naked. Oh yeah. Like I thought like oh like maybe a little naked. Like a little like you know. They surprised you on the day? No I just like didn't think that far. You just thought you thought y'all

be slapping titty's like once. Yeah or like like the shadows were going to be appropriately placed. Yeah. And then we showed up to the day and it was very bright. I'm not sure if you guys remember but it was daytime. All the windows were up. Oh I know.

It was light. Yeah, I'm a light soft kind of, yeah. It's a lot for like a first time. I kind of like, like, you know, maybe dark for the first. A little, like, um, it was television. Mood lighting. But this, there was no mood lighting. But had you, I don't remember, had you guys in your career done that amount of nudity before?

I was in a movie called X. That was very, I played a porn star. You did? I'm going to look that up. Yeah, can you Google? I did. But it was weirdly different. It was a little bit different.

That was more nighttime. There was a lot of evil happening. So it was more nighttime. And this was very daytime. It was hunting. Oh, my God. Did you two know each other before this project? No.

We do now, right? We are friends for life. We know a lot about each other now. Do you know any body secrets about each other? Body secrets. Ooh, kind of. Yeah. Yeah, we do.

Actually, we just shared some backstage. We sure did. I mean, but that's not like sexual. Oh, like checking each other's moles. I don't know. Just everybody's got body secrets, right? Sure, I guess. I don't know.

Sorry for the weird one weird question tonight. I think that's a fair question. I think it's a fair question. Everyone looks at their body and has something that maybe they love or don't love. And, you know, there's a lot of. We're very supportive of each other. Yeah. We made sure that like the camera angles are.

We were like, are you okay? What if, you know, I'll cover this part and you do that part. Now, be honest. Yeah. After you guys did this stuff with each other, when you then had to go kiss like the guys on the show where you're like, ugh. Yeah. Yes. And we would talk about that.

Yeah. And when you had to go. They smell different. You're like, this is disgusting. Yeah. It was different. I love, listen, I love German, so much. Gosh, he's great for sure.

But it's not as good. different to kiss a beautiful woman, you know, with soft skin. Like how different. Yeah, like, lovely. Like, really nice. There were a lot of, like, nice smells. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Wait, there were night smells. Nice. I was like, what are. You talked about these night smells. Yeah, I was like, what are night smells? I mean, you can imagine. There's body secrets and there's night smells. But that could have made her, made or broken the experience.

So, like, if you guys had not got along or had no chemistry. So thank God. Like, did you meet before you started filming and be like, are we normal people? Good question. Yeah. Thank you. We did. Share feelings with each other.

We had tequila, which is always what brings us together. Yeah. Dequila and nachos. And nachos. And we talked about trauma. Yeah. You got to go deep. We really did.

I mean, it was that thing of, like, getting, really getting to know each other and going, all right, well, we're going to be in this thing together. Like, really be in this thing together. Right, right. Let's go out and have dinner, and we did. And we, I think, was within like 10 minutes, we're like, oh, okay, this is going to be, this is going to be, we're getting, we're making out. Yeah, and we're going to like it. Trauma, trauma bonding is real.

Trauma dumping trauma bonding. That's how we got to live. And then what about, like, your family? Here comes a good question. You got to see this and they're like, whoa, we were watching, like, any, how'd that go? My mom has, like, a group of girlfriends. There's like 10 of them. They're called the play group, and they're all in their 70s.

Where do they live? In Florida. I'm close to their age. I want to hang out with them. Well, Malin, your family's Swedish, so they just walk around naked all the time, right? All the time. Yeah, at birthdays. Do they get stars in Sweden?

Do they get stars? The network that you didn't end up on. Oh, I was like, yeah, they get stars. We see stars there, too. We have stars in Sweden They do They don't get stars But it did get released in Sweden

And yeah My family is pretty I mean I had to sit beside my dad I brought my dad to see Watchmen when that came out And there's a long sex scene And I sat beside him and he went

Wow Yeah you really did work out Your ass looks great And I was like oh my god Dad You guys, he's European. Calm down. Yeah.

It wasn't, I know. And then when I went to do press for that, the first time I said that in a press room, my, my publicist went, don't, don't see that. It sounds weird. And he was really just being like, he was awkward, too. He didn't know what to say. So he was just kind of like, yeah, you worked out well. Yeah, go on you. But he's gotten a little older now, and he, you know, he saw this and he just went, I mean, you did a great job and great acting.

and, you know, maybe next season they can just like, you're a little bit more like a boss lady and like maybe not as much sex and like you start a company and like, okay, dad, I'll pass on. Yeah, maybe you could be a beekeeper or something. Totally. He says that to me as well in a leopard shirt. He said that to you, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He said that not too much sex. Too much sex. Who said too much sex? Her dad. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. My parents say that. about the beekeeper storyline.

Love this stuff. Yeah. Mine are weird about it. Your parents are weird about sex? Not in life. They're too open about it. They're doing all the time, right? Well, they like to say, just so you know, we still have sex.

Like, they want me to know that, which I like. Great. Oh, they're like, BT Dubs, May, we're still doing it. But they definitely don't watch those parts. But we've both worked with Lisa Kudrow. That's right. And she played my mom, and it was a very autobiographical story. And my mom watched that, and I was so scared.

And then afterwards, she said, I don't know what you're worried about. That character's nothing like me. And it's really verbatim. Wow. A lot of insight she's got your mom. I know. But you're on the new comeback. I'm so excited to watch.

Yeah. Yeah. It's so cool. It's a great. It's such a well-written show. I feel so lucky to have been like, that, that, That was my first show out here. Michael Patrick King and Lisa Kudrow took their chance on me.

Oh, my God. So I got them to thank for sitting here with you. Aw. Yeah. What was your first job ever? I mean, acting job. I was a child. I was like, I think it was four or five.

Oh, wow. I was a French fry and a McDonald's. A toddler. A toddler. No, an infant. May thought a five-year-old was an infant. I mean. I don't know the terms. It could be.

No, yeah, that's where I got my start. It was all down there. You're season pro. Yeah. All those pitch perfect movies. Love. Obsessed. Obsessed.

Awesome. And then you were in another huge Netflix series with Claire Daines. Oh, my God, yeah. I have binged it. So did I. It was really good. And so you guys just filmed, are you already wrapped on season two of the Honeywives? Oh, yeah, we are.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Tell us everything. What can we say? Oh my gosh. Should we just enact some of the scenes? Yes, please. This is what everyone paid for.

I know somebody who's on this season. Who? Who? Oh, wait, is a secret? Is it a secret? I think most of the castings out. Oh, we don't have to talk about it. I don't know.

Stamos? Oh, no, yeah, that's up. Wait, did you guys hear that? I didn't hear that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. John Stamos? John Stamos? Yeah.

Oh. That's amazing. He's gorgeous. He is. Wait, is he making out with y'all? I'm not getting, we can't tell you that part. Don't let the lesbians down this season. You guys.

Did we let you down before? No, no, but it would be, imagine those season two was like, unbelievably straight. The lesbians will not be disappointed. Right. Yeah. I imagine straight men won't either. Straight men won't.

Gay men won't. Like, there is a lot going on. on this season. Who was the demographic coming up to you guys the most about this show? I am curious. Fortune. Besides me.

Did you get a lot of feedback from lesbians? Yeah. You did? Yeah, there was a lot of lesbian community and... Street women, too, I feel like. A lot of straight women. Here's my question. Is this like a reality of these wives doing this?

This is... I think so. Yeah. So, May Cobb, actually, we asked her sort of where the idea came from. Sorry, yeah, the writer of the novel. And she just said, you know, there was a small town outside of Dallas, I want to say. And she goes, girl, I couldn't even write some of the stuff in my novel that these people do. Like this is based on.

And there was a woman who came up to us at this event. And she's like, I know May. We were in the same town. I know who you are in this town. And I know who you are in this town. No way. Yeah. I want to go meet these women.

The woman's name was May? The author of the book. That's my name. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. I don't need a lot of theirs. And how much would you want to sit down with these people that they possibly think is actually?

I am so curious to sit down with them. I also don't want to lock the doors behind me, but like I need an escape route, but I would be. You know what you should do? You should get May to hunt down their emails. Oh, yeah. I'm good at that. You're good at that? I can get, I can see down. May can get a hold of anyone. Here's some of that juicy gossip. Okay. Well, I have my primary school teachers. I'm in touch with all of them, and I had to find all their emails. So that's, that's my way of talent. May constantly emails their childhood teachers. I can't let the connection.

Why did you do that? Just any curiosity? That's a fair question, Mal. I'm just curious. Really, like, driven by nostalgia, and I can't let go of connections. Like, the first time I ever filmed something, I assumed everyone to be best friends forever, in touch forever, and I'm like, when are we hanging out, guys? It was so sad to learn that people have lives. It's all an illusion. Yeah. Some people have lives? Yeah, apparently.

It's hard to accept. They're not just at home playing foosball. No. So you're going to be emailing us a lot after this? Is that what's happening? Yeah, I'm like, guys, that was a good thing. Just getting ready for it. Yeah, yeah, can't wait.

Yeah, I mean, you came on the show. We're going to be in touch forever, right? We're best to you. I mean, yeah, you can email me. That's fine. You better believe if I see you at an event, I'm going to be overly familiar. I'm going to be like, guys, what's up?

We sat on the couch together. May, you should get a business card made. I'm sorry? That's okay. You should get a business card made. Should I? Yes, you should. Why?

Well, when you meet people, you can say, here's my card, and then you can keep in touch. Well, then the ball's in their court. Oh, you make a good point. I need that to say, that's hard. Did I tell you about my business card I had made? No. It was just a sketch I did of my, like a cartoon version of my face, and I had it, I had them all printed out, and I would go play. This is like in like 15 years ago and I go places and I'd be like listen I love what you're saying

Give me a call and and they'd be like great and they'd be like wait there's no contact information That's awesome. That's brilliant It's just fun to like slip someone a card. Yeah, oh my god That's how you do it. You should definitely do that. You just like hey Brittany and according to how serious you are is how slowly you slide it across. I am very serious. Yes. Here is a drawing I did poorly of my own face.

I would love to hear from you again. You'll have to ask May to hunt down my contract information. Do you, I always have to ask people if they laugh a lot during filming. Because I can't... That's a great question, May. I can't believe that people don't... Like, was that a problem? It's a problem for me all the time.

Sometimes the lines that we have to say are really, funny in the way that we have to say them and especially because we have to be so serious we do laugh a lot we do yeah can you give us an example of a line that is oh I've thought you're gonna say can we get an example of your laugh the wet the wet line which it's one of my lines do you remember when I say I'm so wet no but you can go into there if you want wait would you say Malin I'm so wet so wet then you have to say it's a pretty good idea we just say that's serious Then we had to do an ADR.

We had to do, that's the worst part. Guys, hello, we're here. There are other people. When you go into ADR, which is like, when you have to do some looping, like, you can't hear it properly, and you go in and you have to do ADR a sex scene. And it's just you doing kissing noises alone. With like a lot of like, yelze. They should just pull the audio from The Bachelor.

That would be great. There's some like creepy engineer in the back being like, great. That was a good one. That was a good one. He's like, say that again. You're like, I'm so wet again. I'm so wet. Again.

I did turn around at one point and I was like, my mom is so proud of me. Because you actually are like kissing your hand, right? Like, no? No. I mean, you could. I'm not, I think that's great, a great idea. I didn't.

I'm so good to kissing the hand. Wait, what are you just? in the air? Like, what are you doing? Yeah, I mean, it's not a lot of kids. Usually, the ADR stuff is a lot of moaning and like a lot of like breathing and a lot of like... It really is. It's so wild when you stand there and you're like, this hard dog.

I can't believe I wasn't a hard dog. Oh my God. We have to do the hunting dikes. Yes. They already got parodies on SNL. Did you guys see the SNL parody? But I want to see your parody. The hunting dikes will happen. Oh, you did the hunting dykes? We saw the one on, there was one on SNL that they did.

Oh, there was. Yeah, there was an honor. That's cool. It was really funny. Yeah, it was funny. And they called it the hunting dykes? No, not the hunting. No, no.

They just parodied their show. Okay. But no one had thought about the hunting dykes. Yeah. But I think the three of you should definitely get on that. We will do the hunting bisexual. That'll be me. The hunting days.

The hunting days. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't do that. No, no. That hasn't been done. I have a pitch. Well, no, I don't even have a pitch. I just have an idea that I don't know what to do with yet, and it is called Traddyke.

Traddike is good. Where I'm traditional lesbian. Okay. And I do traditional lesbian things. It's very old school of you. We're listening to your pitch. That's it. Just maybe let your producers know that

that idea is out there and just centers around me in a flannel. We'll work it out later. Here's my car part. I do have to ask, will the wig be returning for season two?

It will be. It will be. It will be. But it's a new wig. It's a new wig, y'all. It's a fancy one. It was one that's not pulled out of a box that didn't fit my head. It's one that they made for me. Because when you started filming, you were on stars, and then it premiered on Netflix. That's right.

Okay. Now you get the nice movie. We moved up in the world. I've got a question. Will the Merkin be returning this season? You betcha. Isn't that what they're called? Wait, did you guys wear Merkin?

Did you guys have to wear Merkins? No. No, we went full bush. No, I'm joking. I have to do. She boo's. She boo's? Is that what they were called?

She boo? Am I thinking of the dog now? Is that a sheep? Is that a sheep? Is it the one that you pee through? The you pee in? Like if you're at a festival. She boobs?

It's like a she moo. Maybe it's a she moo. I don't know what it's called. Shemoo. She moos. Can you describe it? How is this interview going? It's like a.

Is this the best interview you guys have ever done? Yeah. Is this like inside the actor's studio? And I'm sorry. Very deep. It's called a she boob? She-moo. She-moo.

There's little bits and bobs that they give you. It looks like a science experiment. They lay it all out for you in your trailer, and you're just like, what have I done with my life? And there's just like little pieces that you have to put strategically on your body. Tape on your body. Tape onto your bush. Yeah.

But I didn't get the memo that you're, there's like a little foam bit, sort of like a jock cup or whatever they're calling. You got to put that on first. But you got to put that on first, and then you put the tape bit that, like, tapes. But I didn't. You put it onto your bush. Yeah, I sure did. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That one was not fun. Yeah. And how did you find out you had done everything wrong? Very quickly. As soon as I tried to take it off, I took a bottle of baby oil and just sprayed that thing. This was before you were filming? Or at the end of the day?

At the, well, it was kind of in between, because I had to pee. Yeah. And you had baby. And I was taped in. Oh, it was a mess, you guys. It was a real mess. It's so glamorous, right? Yeah.

Yeah, it was a long time. But we figured it out. So when you were a little girl dreaming of being an actress. Were you in Sweden at this time? Canada. You were in Canada. That's right. Oh, you guys shot in Canada?

Oh, boy. We, I'm from, I'm from Canada? No, no. I grew up in Canada. Yeah, where? You're in Toronto. Yeah. Oh my God.

I don't know how we never met back there. Yeah, that's cool. Florida. It's a small town there. We're in Florida. Tampa. Don't mind us. Everyone's just having their own conversation.

That's why you're so nice. That's what you want to do. South. Not to ruin this love fest, but before you guys go, I heard you all, sort of keeping in tradition with our show, usually our guests do ask us a question. I don't know if you guys have anything you wanted to ask us. We can talk about our bushes as well I would love to know about your bushes

Or baby oil So nobody told you to have a question for us? Yeah they did Oh they did Oh what do you did I mean I have a million questions for you guys Yeah ask a wish We don't have enough time

Yeah we do Lock the doors We can make time Do you want to go first Okay My question I didn't know if it was like if it should be serious or not.

It should be really serious. Well, one was serious and one was not. And then they picked the serious one. And I was like, oh, I guess you guys are serious. We can get earnest. Yeah. We've cried on our podcast. I'm Canadian.

I can get earnest. This is very serious. Yes. Will you tell me that you just say, I know you? Just say that. Just say, I know you. To me. I know you. Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you. That was good acting. Was that good acting? Yeah, that was. No, what? Oh, for a mom. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. But real quick, do you know that May was number one on the star meter for a while? Yeah, number one. IMDB star meter, baby, wayward. I think it was because we know you made it went. This couch is full of Netflix stars. Road that for weeks. I think people were trying to figure out, like, what are doing.

What's in for us? Oh, right. Oh, yeah. What was something that you guys thought at the time? really sucked and then turned out to be exactly what needed to happen or a ghost story or a ghost story it was really either or I want to know both I love that that's a good question no one's arrest is you don't like the second question well I don't have one so I'm should be told I still don't know what the second question was I have a ghost story okay

thank you I have been here. You're so hard to understand. I know. I was saying nice earlier, but I said nights. We walk off drunk. I don't know what that woman was saying the whole night. There's so many things that at the time when it happened were so hard.

And then later, I was like, thank God. Just like that Garth Brooks song. Sometimes I thank God for answer prayers. Remember when you're talking. to the man upstairs. Just because he'd been an answer doesn't mean he don't care. Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. Wow.

That was for your hunting wives fans. They're going to like that. Was that your ghost story? Or was that your... You still got it, kid. You got it, girl. Well, have you heard the parable of the Chinese farmer? Okay, so...

Weirdly, no. There's this... It does take us a while to answer questions. I'm going to try and tell it super fast. No, no, go on. May gun on May. Okay, so there's this farmer in China, and his horses escape, and his neighbors say, oh, my God, I'm so sorry for this tragedy.

This is so awful, and he says, maybe. And then the horses come back and they bring more horses with them. And so they're like, this is such good news. And he goes, maybe. And then his son is feeding the horses and they trample the son's legs, broken legs. And they go, oh, my God, this is awful news. And he goes, maybe. Then the army comes as we're conscripting all men, but we can't take your son because his legs are broken.

And they're like, man, that's great news. And he's like, maybe. So it just shows you like, you never know something could seem awful. And then it's good. That's an awful story. This poor guy, but I like it. I could get a tattoo that says maybe. That would be cool.

Yeah, maybe you should. Maybe. Maybe. Now, speaking of Texas, I did. Are we ever going to answer this question? Well, we're Lucy Goosey, right? Do you mind? Go on Goosey.

Okay, I won't tell my story. No, no, no, no, please tell it. We'll always wonder. Well, because May told their story that didn't apply to anything. I figured. I figured I could. Good, too. I lived in Texas for a while as a kid, and I went to church as a small child, and I remember, this is so Texas, but the priest told a story about, I can't even actually

remember the story, never mind. No, it was like a, in the truncated version, is there was like a huge pile of horseshit. I know this one. Oh, of course you do. What is happening? Go ahead, finish it. Wait, I can't wait to hear this. Yeah. You go. No, you go.

Well, if it's the same one. Okay, let's see. There's this little bird that got shit on. And then it was saying, and then the little bird is saying, oh, my God, it's, help me, help me. And then this cat gets it out of the shit and eats it. And it goes, just because someone gets you out of the shit doesn't mean you can trust them. And actually the person that shot on you was protecting. Wow.

That is a totally different story. Is that my Bible? There's no way this is the same story. How is it that we both have pile of shit church stories? My pile of shit church story was, and again, I don't remember all the details, but it was like a huge pile of shit. And the priest is telling us, um, it's like, uh, you know, people, I can't remember, it was some like, oh God, there's a huge pile of shit. This is Texas church and it's like, oh God, a huge pile of shit. And then the person with the positive

thought was like, yeah, but there must be a donkey in there somewhere. I didn't write it. I'm just telling you hopeful stories. But when does that even mean, the donkey in the shit? Yes, you should ask a follow question. Relating back to like something bad was going to happen, but it turned out to be good. I didn't ask the priest. I just went home and wondered about it myself. And I never imagined that it would all lead to this moment, where May would say, oh, I know this story.

I didn't. I guess. I'm so glad we went down the path. And what was your question again? Have you heard it something? Anything that happened to you and then it turns out to be good. Mine was early days. It wasn't that bad, but at the time it felt so devastating.

Does it have to do with a pile of shit? It does not. Okay. But I really wanted to go to UNC Chapel Hill. You guys shot in North Carolina. I'm from North Carolina. So I really wanted to go to Chapel Hill and all my friends were going and I didn't get it in. And I was devastated.

Someone just laughed. Was that the end of your story? But I was so devastated. I didn't go to the small women's college. And I really like... The Lord delivered. That's the good that came out of the back. I mean, they literally were like,

the guidance counselor was like, you need to tell us, are you going to this school or not? They're going to give away your scholarship. So I was like, fine. It ended up being the best four years of my life. Uh, and I got a job in LA because, I went to that school that I would not have gotten had I

gone to UNC and it's so clear to me that that path I was supposed to go down this other path even though I was so devastated my entire life for the next 20-something years has been dictated by that one thing that happened to me when I was 18. I like that.

That is wonderful. Thank you. I think about that with X's sometimes where I've been so devastated and then now looking back I think what a what a bullet I dodged you know it seems like we should sing

unanswered prayers again what's that I said it seems I think God for unanswered prayers remember when you're talking to the man upstairs and just because

he don't care then maybe he don't care some of God's greatest It is huge. What if somebody showed up late to this show and walked in while we were singing Garth Brooks? Sitting in silence.

And fortune's going. You guys probably don't know this, but this is a hit podcast. It's hard to tell from this show, but it is a hit podcast. We're wildly popular. And you know how you know? It's when people tell you that they're popular. Are you guys going to answer this question at all? I did.

Oh, you did. With your horseshit story? No, with like axes. Oh, that's right. You did. That was your story? Well, I mean, kind of similarly, no, not, but with a breakup. I was in Colorado and went through a breakup.

And my two childhood besties, we were all living out there. there and they were moving out to Los Angeles to get into TV and film and I truly was like, well, I guess I'll throw my stuff in your truck. And I thought I was just going to go out to Los Angeles for like a few months till the breakup blew over. And then I saw all the opportunity to do stand up in the LA Weekly. And it was my secret. dream to do stand-up and I was like, well, maybe I'll go do an open mic while I'm here. And I have not left for almost 30 years. Wow. That's great. What were you doing before stand-up? Like, that was your secret dream, but what were you, like, pursuing? Well, I do love music and I play a little bit of music,

but I wasn't comfortable playing it on stage. So I started, working with bands. And I was booking them and doing promotion just to kind of be in that world. And I was like kind of talking in a high-pitched voice that wasn't, no, not in that way. I just mean like in not a very honest register. Oh, interesting.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm happy. I'm happy. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's good, yeah. It's good, you know. When people ask how my birthday was, and like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good.

It's good, it's good. And then when I got here and I did stand up, I was like, oh, I love this. Like it hit that honest register. That's really cool. Do you guys have answers? Yeah, you guys have one? To your question. Oh. Oh, sorry. Oh, they didn't tell you about that part.

Well, we can sit awkwardly and wait. I actually had like a similar, I guess going with a theme of breakups. Yeah. Sorry, Fortune. Listen, I also am going through a breakup. I'm sorry. No, I'm fine. Okay.

it'll be for the best, right? As we're learning. Absolutely. Right? Yeah. I had, I broke up with my first husband, right? Four months after we had our son, which was like not, after 11 years together, was not what we expected.

But the silver lining was that one of my best girlfriends from childhood flew over, moved in with me, and for a year and a half, I got to raise. my son with my best girlfriend. Oh my God, I love that. It was awesome. I so wish that we wanted to fuck each other because it would have been so much easier. Yes, that would have been amazing.

But she's a sister to me, you know? I know. We had the conversation. We were like, should we try? You're like touching boobs. I feel nothing. I mean, I'll do that with other ladies, but not my sisters.

I get it. Not everyone wants to be a lesbian. I get it. I mean, I do. I mean, I know you want to. Just not with her. Not with my sister. But it was amazing.

It was such a cool experience to raise my child. What a good friend, too. That's amazing. A great friend, yeah. Really great friends. That was fun. You know what reminds me of. What?

No, not that song. Oh, I was ready. The Golden Girls. Oh. I've never seen it. Do you guys not put the correlation together? Two women living together. It tracks.

Can we just sing Garth? How about we can sing Golden Girls. We'll do it. But we want Brittany to answer first. Oh, thank you for being a friend. But if you don't have an answer, that's okay. No, it's not. We can end your segment of Golden Girls' themes.

I do want that, though. I want to hear Mullen's question after it as well. It's okay. Fortune didn't, so I'm just not going to. I want to ask you and TIG. Okay. When I was 22, I was dating a guy and there was this like urgent email that needed to go out. And for some reason, I forgot my password.

And I was 22, so I thought I liked him or like loved him. But I didn't, you know, 22. And I couldn't get into my email because I forgot my password. So he was like, just use my computer. I know where this is going. I don't. And I checked. I was like, you know what?

He sent emails. Dick pick, dick pick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. In shorts that I bought him for Christmas. Not in the shorts you bought him. And he was sending pictures to be to his ex-girlfriend. Yeah, yeah. Who wants to see them? They went to Mays Elementary School teacher?

What? Wait, so he was wearing the shorts but with his dick out? And I'm sorry, he was emailing them? Yes, emailing them. This was, like, send. Yeah. In a text, but it's about. Subject title.

And what happened? What did you do? Penes picture. I was, here's the, why it's full circle is like, I was, I was really upset. And then now, I don't, I never even thought about him until just now. Of course. You know, we have to. And now we have to.

And now we have to think about this. But explain to me emailing. Like, I completely agree. No, I really need you to explain that. The one point, texting was expensive. Yeah. But did you look at you confronted him? Yes.

Did he try to turn it around on you? Like, why were you in my email? Yes, and he said, these were before we were together. I was like, these are dated. Yeah. Because they're emails. I just love that. You were like, not the shorts I bought him.

I know, and they were really ugly shorts. I'm not going to lie. Oh, my God. What if you saw that he had sent out like a mass email? Just. I feel like that would have been better. Yeah. Well, yeah, guess what?

Sometimes I think... We won't do it all, we won't do it on. Okay, Molly, would you like test your question? This was not the poignant answer that I was hoping for, though, so... I do. Oh, you do? I do, but I don't have to ask it if we're running out of tent. We'll do a speed round.

Speed round? Yeah, speed round. It's a really quick one. Well, it can be if you want it to be. I don't know what that was. It is... Really felt like a rewendo of us. It just made it sexual for no reason.

What keeps you up at? night. Oh. Don't get me start. It can be how much time do we have? It can be very lazy or 20 years. Oh boy. Orgy and left and right.

You say it to no you sleep well after an orgy. You sleep better than you ever have. No, I have everything is are we in a simulation? What is the point of all of this? Like

of this podcast? Yeah, what's a point of this podcast? No, just like deep existential worry. Yeah, but that, and it's once everyone goes to bed and I feel like, okay, I have a minute and I'll, maybe I'll just strum my guitar and then I'm thinking, what is a guitar? Yeah. Oh, and then like every awful thing I've ever done is like going through my head. Yeah, but I'm going to start meditating.

They are getting me into it. I think that's a great idea. You meditate? No, I meditate. Oh, sorry. TIG's getting into it. I'm the elderly one that meditates, goes to bed early, you know. We're going to do a wellness weekend. It would be great if they did too, yeah. Yeah, we're going to do a wellness weekend where we have to follow TIG's regime.

Maybe. Vegan, meditate, up at dawn, journaling. But you said you still can't sleep? Sounds good. Well, I'm doing better with my sleep. I appreciate the concern face. Because I understand. I know you do. And girl, we need to talk. Yes.

here is my card. You really struggle with sleep, right? I do. I do. But I hired a sleep coach, as I told you. Don't laugh at my struggle. Wait, what is a sleep coach? What did they tell? I mean, this is a longer conversation.

You've got this. You're almost asleep. You're almost asleep. Crashing beers on their head. dumping a gatorade over me once I finally get to sleep. It's worth the money. Wait, what is a sleep? What keeps you up at night?

What keeps you up at night? Your coach. Yeah, like, I'm like everything. My sleep coach is keeping me up. No, I am, well, first of all, I am old enough to go into a retirement home. It's menopause, first off, I think, is what triggered it. Thank you. Yeah, shout out menopause.

People think if you look like me, you don't go through menopause, but you do. So menopause kept me up. And then I think it also just creates this, I really don't know, I'm just thinking, that it makes you just more sensitive when you're going to. through that transition and so anything that is outstanding and not in a great way but outstanding in my life I have to deal with was that a dog was that a dog it's just in your menopausal moment that's gonna keep wrong keeps me up at night but that was a dog that was a dog yeah I think

Or someone acting like a dog. Or a dog. Yeah, there is a dog at the show. Yeah, that's... That is our target. What if the lights went on and it was just dogs and seats? Oh, dogs! Oh my God.

I would love that. Amazing. That would be so great. I would feel like we succeeded as people. When you say outstanding, you mean like things you haven't done yet? This is the fastest I go and you know. I go and you know that. I'm just trying to keep us on schedule.

Oh, there is no schedule. I'm so sorry. You guys have nowhere to go. But yeah, I just mean outstanding like, oh, I just, I like to have a clear conscience. I like to handle things. I like to, I always say my brain is like an attic. I don't ever want to go up there and find a dusty old box and not know what was in there. Like, I want to handle things and deal with it, you know?

And so if I haven't or something is on the table, it'll keep me up and I'll be like, oh, I just, I need to make a call. I need to handle that. And that will. Yeah. Also, I'm like, what is May doing with their life? Or like, oh, what is May's life for? And then I start taking on your issues. I know.

What is a guitar? What is May's guitar? Well, Tig's son actually wrote a song that is so existential that it's like, No one knows why we're born. It's so beautiful. When he was like five. He was like, we don't know why the world was made. It's really good.

And it spun me out of it. And May said that they were going to write the music for it. Never did. And that is. That is outstanding. That is outstanding. It's on the list. You better get to it.

I'm going to get on that. Yeah. What keeps you up at night fortune? I mean, honestly, I can easily worry. Like, my brain will go a mile a minute if I let it. And I used to when I was younger, like, constantly worry and I would be up so much just like always worried about something but my mom told me at one point like when she could tell I was like getting in my head she just would say don't

borrow trouble you're always worrying about what might happen before it even happens and it really like kind of released this thing in me where I really I'm very lucky now I just lay my head down and fall asleep because I cannot worry about the things I have no control over you know So don't borrow trouble. I highly recommend that. That's a great girl. Don't borrow a child. Yeah.

You guys want to answer real quick? Oh, I bury everything real deep. Really? I fall asleep real fast. Really? Yeah, sure do. I bury that shit. Real hard.

We've talked about it. I'm like, Britt, like I, trying to cry. I'm like, I have not dealt with that for a long, and I don't want to. Okay. So when we do have to do emotional scenes, I'm like, Oh, fuck. I got to dig deep. Can I give you my card? You sure can. Yeah, I want your coach.

Cry! What keeps me up at night? Nothing. Yeah. You're sleeping like a baby. I sleep, but the world keeps me up. There you go. There is a lot to worry about.

But actually putting my head down and sleeping is not an issue, which I know we've talked about. Because she's the opposite. Totally opposites. Oh, yeah. And I'm up for like two. three hours every night and that's even if I take something but it's like aliens simulation yeah birds yeah birds yeah like there's just too many there's too many different sounds there's too many like they're all birds but why do they sound so different yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

we're gonna worry about this thing yeah like this bird and that worries you that yeah because then I start hearing them while I'm trying to sleep and I'm like that's a new bird like that's how you know Things are bad. Wait, what time are you sleeping? Because birds should be asleep at that hour. Well, around 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning, and I haven't fallen asleep yet. And this bird, right here, a new bird. But also, can I just tell them that she has two sound machines.

Oh, my God. And ear pods with sound, white noise in it, white sound, and sleeping medications. You need that sleep coach. I mean, I've gone. She still hears the birds. The last sleep coach I went to in Charlotte, he was like, I'm going to. describe you Ambien and I was like oh well I stay up on ambient and he goes well you're not supposed to stay up on Ambien and I go yeah I know wow like I don't mean to stay up

I'm not like whew do you stay up my Ambien try it's just like oh my god the worst is though like you're like looking at your phone once you're if once you do that you're gone then you're these these scientists are going missing. You're like, the 12 scientists. The 12 scientists. And what they were studying. Oh yeah, I know.

I know. It's insane. It's insane. Did you see the video of the girl who was explaining what she was, what she was studying? Yes, I did. Yes, I did. And did you see that under the pyramids they found these chambers?

Oh my God. Huge chambers. It's like confirmed. We have to go to commercial. There's only one thing left to say, our lovely guest. We want to thank you for being a friend. Thank you so much. Are you guys right?

Thank you. Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again. Your heart is true. You're a pal and a confidant. That was also... And if you think, everybody and everyone you knew,

for me and the card and text would say, Thank you for being a friend. You're never really? That was so fun. Make some love on Netflix. Thank you. Keep it handsome, you guys. We just want to thank all of you guys

for coming to our show. We love you. We hope that you go see a bunch of shows this week at the Netflix and Junk Festival. Thank you for listening to our podcast. Thank you to our amazing guests tonight. Yes, thank you. Malad, Ikeman, Brittany Snow.

Yep. And until next time, He went Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, May Martin, and Fortune Themster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast.

What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast.