Handsome - Trixie Mattel asks about party invitations

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

The delightful Trixie Mattel (RuPaul's Drag Race) pops Handsome a question about parties! Plus Tig gets so serious it's funny, Fortune's new TV obsession, Mae's plan to sneak into the Oscars, and more! Don't forget to get tickets to our May 4 Live Show in LA!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking which color clothing complements your eyes. Come on, girl. When I wear blue or green, these eyes will be popping. When I wear gray, not so much. Yeah, checking first is smart.

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That's H-O-M-E-A-G-L-O-W.com slash handsome. Handsome pot. Chatting the friends on the handsome pod. Chiding with friends on the handsome pod. Cheers. Hey, it's your friend TIG on the Handsome Pod. sitting here with my co-hosts. May Martin.

I'm Fortune Beamster. Together again. Together again. Three and some friends. They said we couldn't do it and we did. We said we wouldn't do it after April. We kept doing it after April. We need to put that song on our website.

Has anyone looked at our website in a while? Has anyone ever looked at our website? Honestly, that jam, that Christmas jam we did was delightful. I'm going to pat ourselves on the back for that. Yeah. Because we do have a handsome band now. Maybe we should do like an Easter jam. Like, he has risen.

Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a bit of curveball. This is, welcome to the Christian handsome. That would be really unexpected. It would be really... Where we love the Lord and we talk about our love of the Lord. Jesus Christ.

It doesn't occur to me, but there's like a whole other entertainment industry that's just Jesus based, right? Oh yeah. Big money, babe. Big money. There's like standups.

There's all kinds of people that just... It's like we don't cross past with that world, but they're filling out stadium. Sorry, of course. You're at Hill Song over Sunday. Christian Hansen Bob. We know exactly what's going on. You know what's up.

Yeah. Well, they have all those songs that you'll be like, I'll be driving in the Midwest, you know, from one city to another. And some song will come on the radio. And it's like, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. And it's like a jam. And I'm like, oh, this is gorgeous. And then it's like, Jesus. You're like, oh.

Like you got me. I know this. was a love song to a lady friend. That's like Maria Bamford's joke about how like those churches will be like kind of in disguise and they'll be like, come on in. There's free coffee and live music right now. And she's like, oh my gosh, that's so great. And then you wander in.

And it's like, oh, they got me. This is your church. And that happened to me and Stephanie when we were in Austin the last time. We were with Max and Finn and walking down the street. And we were like, whoa, look at this. Like 10 in the morning rocking out. I'm like, this is awesome. And it said free coffee and, you know, snacks.

And I was like, what is this all about? I love this vibe. And then it was like, ah, they got me. Not that you can't love the Lord. No, no shade of that. It's just, you know, it would be really. It'd be a real pivot for this podcast for sure. My best experience, like, dropping into a place of worship was, you know, in the Baslerman, Romeo and Juliet, Leo wears this, like, night costume, you know?

So I ordered one online, like, from a woman in Germany. And then... Of course you did. It somehow got... Love to order from that woman in Germany. Yeah, that woman who... And it was a gay woman in Germany making Leo costumes for lesbians, I guess. And then so I ordered it and then I had to pick it up from a guy who was coordinating it. And he was like, can you meet me at my temple? My like Hindu temple. It was so I showed up and it was like everyone quietly in prayer and this beautiful temple. And this is in London on the outskirts. And I go with, I'm like, should I come in? And he's like, yeah, come in and meet my family. And then he's like, ah, yeah, this person's getting a knight's costume. And then I went into like, they took me all. I was in there for like 90 minutes. It was

Beautiful snacks and yeah, it was really nice. That was good. The Lord, the Lord's inviting you for coffee. Come on in. Rock and roll. I can see wearing that costume. That seems like a good fit for you. I wore it and feel good.

Yeah. I was just trying to make my dreams come true. So transparent, just being like, can I think of a reason why I'd have to wear this night costume? How are you guys? Are you filming, Fortune? I am filming. Everything's going really good.

It's been going well. It's long days, but we're moving fast. And I'm having a good time with the gals. Have you come up with any games that you're into in between takes? The game is have Kim Kardashian tell us as many fun stories as possible. Yes. Is she a good storyteller? Yes, there are many good stories.

Oh, my God. She must have seen it all. She is seen it all. And boy, is it fun to listen to. Yeah. Yeah, leak some of those on the pod. Never. I cannot.

You're a vault. I'm a vault. Otherwise, you don't get fun stories. I know. Are you trading, are you giving her something, too? You're telling her about when you're dressed up as Alv. I did tell her the other day. I said, I apologize that none of us have anything fun to give you in return.

We're all very boring in comparison. Hey, don't talk about my co-host that way. Exactly. My point, May. I just don't have any crazy stories like that she's just got so, and she's just lived out here forever. They know everyone. What about your meetup days?

You don't want to tell her about the Craigslist days? What are my meetup? Oh, when you first moved to L.A. Or what about when you went by yourself on a sound of music tour? You guys, she would be riveted by all of these things. I'm sure she did the same. In the very beginning, she, like, I couldn't tell when I was joking. So she would kind of, like, look at me and she was like, you're joking, right?

I'm like, yeah. But now she's like, just starts laughing. Yeah, that's good. Oh, success. She's starting to figure me out. Yeah. Now one day you're going to come in and say something really sad and she's going to be cackling away. I remember one time going to a party meeting people, and they were like, where were you?

And I was like, oh, there was a lot of traffic. There was an accident. Uh-huh. And what? Well, no. It was like 10 car pile up. Okay. And there's like, no, not everything's a joke.

Like, I really am late because there was an accident. Oh, my God. Well, in their defense, you do set up jokes in that way. I, look, I'm not, I'm not saying I'm right. I'm rarely saying I'm right. Yeah. I'm oftentimes. Wrong even.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't think of a single time. That I've been right. Wrong. Wrong. Oh, right. Right.

You're right. Right. You're right. Right. Tig, how are you? Well, as you know, I've been, dealing with some some, you know,

tough stuff over in Kitty City. Yes. But we're staying positive. Poor little fluff has been going downhill for a few weeks. And we just, we kind of may have, I can't remember, have you had animals or no?

It's like growing up, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's like, you know how they behave. Yeah. You know how, you know, they're vibe and you're like something's off. Yeah. Yeah. Like fluff is always a part of Kitty City and going upstairs, downstairs,

eating with the other cats. And then it just started to seem like she's a little lethargic, you know. Even though, yes, cats sleep all day and night. There was still, even the way she was lying down seemed oddly lethargic. Anyway, this past week really things. took a turn and then man last night really took a turn and Stephanie was like I feel like we need to go right now to the emergency room and so we did we went to this place so great um it's called mash i'd never heard of it but it's an ER in L.A Thomas said he used it for his pup and um so they gave her

we had had a vet this a boring story but but now I'm imagining you at a party telling it and people going, yeah? Yeah. Well, a week ago, we had a vet come over and check her out, and he took her blood and urine sample and all that, and we were waiting on that. But in the meantime, it just, like I said, took a turn. And so they gave her, they kept her overnight, gave her an IV and some steroids and some medication to help her stop throwing up.

And so now we're just waiting on the skin. Gans that should be in by the end of the week. And man, are we just hoping for the best? Yeah. Because, like, right now, we just went and picked her up this afternoon. And she ate when she got home. But then she immediately got into Finn's dirty clothes basket, which that's not where she goes.

Oh, like hiding. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They hide when they're not doing well. So anyway, it's been, it's been, it's been, Thank you, fingers, paws, toes, everything crossed.

But also, simultaneously, when I got good news of being nominated for the Oscar, for Come See Me in the Good Light. Yeah, that's incredible. I can't. It has been. May I, to be fair, always believe that you guys were going to get nominated. I know. Really? Like 100%. Yeah. Because I've never had a more of...

But then you were like, no, it's so hard. And we were both like, no, I think... Yeah, you were like, but I've never had a more affecting experience watching a documentary. So I was like any of those voters who see it, there's no way. I hear that and I appreciate it so much. If you ever make a documentary with Ryan White, the director, he will be sure to let you know. There's no chance in hell the project your work. on is going to get nominated or win anything. So I've just been in, it's not actually, it's not him being negative. He really gave me some insight into how this process works. Right. The politics of

it. The politics behind it. He said, you know, the past few Oscars, there's been no American films nominated in this category. Just there's a lot going on. Yeah. And, and I could sit and talk to you about it for like an hour, like into even more detail. But girl, we want to know where were you when you got the call? What did you get giddy? Were you freaking, like that is, it's, it's, it's the childhood fantasy. I saw you on a Zoom, a Zoom picture with no shirt on. Yes, yeah.

Well, that'll happen. Especially when you're looking for it. Did you at least have Ponty's on? I had Pontys on. Okay. But the night before we had a Zoom call, with all the producers and everyone and Meg and Ryan again was like, so, you know, we've been on the short list for the Oscar nominations a few times before.

And he said, the morning it's announced, it's on Oscars.com. They go on stage in a theater in front of a live audience and just list off the nominees just one after the other in every category. And he said, and I've set my alarm for 5 a.m. to watch this happen, only to not hear my project called. And he said, you know, and it's a bummer. He said, I'm not sure if I'm going to actually set my alarm tomorrow.

And I originally thought maybe I would. And then after he said it like that, and then he was like, and there's not been any American documentaries nominated for the last few years, I was like, oh, I don't know if I can handle. I don't know if my heart can take, like, not hearing. this documentary announced because it's really the first time I have campaigned and really given something my all in that kind of way. And I think it's because it was easier because I'm not the star of it, you know, and because I believe in this project and my friends and all of that stuff.

So anyway, when Stephanie and I went to bed, she said, are you going to set your alarm? And I said, I don't think I am. I think I'm just going to go to. to bed and I'll just hear when I hear. She was like, all right. So I put on my my eye mask and my earplugs and I your breathing machine. Yeah. Yeah, your dictator mask. Snuggle into my R2D2 suit. And, and then yeah, I went to sleep and Stephanie woke up at five and she was like, oh, I'll just watch this even though TIG isn't. So she watched it in bed next to me. Oh my God. While I was snoozing up a norm. And she said that when they said, you know, feature documentary film or, yeah, feature length documentary. And then they said, come see me in the good light. She said it was that feeling

of like thinking you're crazy and you're misunderstanding something. And she was like, okay, wait, hold on a second. This says documentary, best documentary film. Yep, that's it. That's the category, right? And come see me in the good life. Yeah, that's it. That's the name of the, and tit, right, that's her lying next to me. And so she's like, TIG, oh, my God, you got the nomination. And I'm like pulling all my gear off my face.

I'm like, huh, what? And she was like, you got nominated. I was like, no, no, we didn't. No, we did not. And she was like, yes, you did. Oh, that's the best feeling. Yeah, it was really wild. and all of you very kindly reached out and congratulated.

I was up at 6.30, so I gave you a early morning shout out. Yeah, you did. And it was very much appreciated. And then our producers wanted to get on a Zoom first thing in the morning. And I was like still lying in bed in my ponties. And so I got on topless. Yeah. You got to.

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That's hungry root. com slash handsome, code handsome to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. We, Fortune Zootopia 2 also nominated. Yeah. What do you mean fortune? It's a three of us.

That's right. I mean, we're the stars. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, we're all nominated for it. Do you go to the Oscars? I don't know. I haven't heard yet.

I don't know like where the cutoff is. I don't know how many tickets they get. But aren't you the first gay beaver in a Disney movie? We know, no, no sexuality. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. I've done a couple of Oscar things for them. They wanted, they wanted me to do more, but I'm filming and I, unfortunately not being able to be a part of it.

So I don't know. I have no idea if I get to go or not. If I do, amazing. If not, I'll be, that's fine too. I could take you as my date to the Oscars.

Oh, yeah. I'm sure Stephanie would love that. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to appear as one of the waiters or something. You're going to, you'll go to the bathroom and I'll be the bathroom attendant.

That's right. Guys. I've never, I went as a journalist to the Oscars back in the day in the press room, but I've never been. Wait, what? You were a journalist?

Yes, May. For seven years. And talked about it for the first seven years of our podcast. Wait, how did I, did I really, I miss this? I don't know. That was my day job for seven years. I interviewed every celebrity in Los Angeles. I don't know how I didn't know that.

I don't know. I definitely talked about it, right, Tigg? Oh, my God. Yes, if I know and I remember. I'm so sorry. It is something. It was, it was my day job. Like, I started at part-time while I was an assistant.

And then it led to a full-time position. And I did it till 2010. And it was for a bunch of newspapers. And it was when online stuff was becoming a thing. Like news online was just becoming a thing. It was syndicated. So you'd write it and it would go to like hundreds of newspapers. Yeah.

And then, yeah. So I would interview. it was entertainment journalism so I would interview like actors on the phone writers, directors I would go to premieres I would go to award shows

and I would be the person on the red carpet or in the press room Do you feel like a lot of journalists would want to be in entertainment outside of journalism? No. Like it's going to be me up there. No a lot of the people I knew were

like if I had wanted to be a journalist I would have had that would have I would have made it that was a really cool job but it just they And I worked for these amazing people. My boss Stacy knew I wanted to be a comedian. So she was very supportive of that. And like, I was taking groundlings classes at the time at night.

So it was like the perfect job to have to pay my bills. And it was cool. And it was adjacent to what I wanted to be doing. Right, right. So I still got to learn a lot about the business. I run into publicists to this day. who knew me as a journalist is pretty trippy. That's funny.

What if I am undercover? I'm actually a journalist writing an expose on you guys, and I've done this whole podcast has been research undercover. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I hope you're already a lot. I'm playing a long game.

Yeah. It's a really long game. Yeah. How much longer do you? I know. I mean, I've been a journalist. But that's why I was going, this is not going to go past April, right?

They're going to get back to work. Well, and what's funny is I forgot to, I'm realizing this is mid-February that this is coming out. We're taping it a little early. And I will have just been at the Independent Spirit Award. So I wonder if I won. I wonder if you won. I've never been to that one either, but that one looks like a cool, like a fun one. Yeah, that one looks cool.

Yeah. So, I mean, imagine if we were all three of us hosting the Oscars and you were nominated, you're sprinting between your chair and the stage and whatever has to be done, you know? We still need to get on our tap dancing lessons for whenever that day comes. Maybe I'll wear tap shoes to the Oscars and then if I win, oh, my God, Tig. I'll tag. Uh-oh. Mays into this. You hop to do that. And then I just start tap dancing on stage.

Always. Oh, God. Click on. Click on. I mean, while everyone's giving these heartfelt Andrea Gibson speeches, then I'm just like tap dancing in the background. Andrew would get, would get that. Andrew would love that. The temptation to do a bit on such a global stage like that is so.

Do you think Andrea is whispering in voters' ears? I hope so. But, you know, I have to say, and maybe I've said this to you guys before, of course, I've heard a million times people say, oh, it's an honor to be nominated. Yeah. Not that I wasn't honored in any other nomination. This particular category is mind bending. Yeah.

Have you seen the other documentaries? I've seen some of them. I'm still in the process. But man, this is, and not to take away from like scripted or any other jobs. in this business or awards or whatever, but documentary filmmakers that are working on passion projects for years, raising money independently. And being in the scene,

because I've been on this massive press tour and festival tour and just meeting all these people, they're so interesting and talented and highly intelligent and it's it's it's it's it's like man whoever wins yeah it's sincere congrats like i met a documentary filmmaker who'd been making a documentary about a kid who but it was following him for 10 years it was following him from age 10 to 20 and it was like they would do a couple weeks every year basically but yeah like a passion project no funding just like everyone doing it because they know they're making something amazing.

And I just watched that documentary Secret Mall apartment on Netflix. Have you seen it? Group of artists, they are kind of trying to make a statement about like corporate, like this mall that bulldozed a bunch of old buildings in their town and like took over. And so they are really interested in this mall and they have all the plans to the mall. And they find like a little pocket in the mall that you can access via one. Oh. Well, I guess May went back to their, um, their investigative job. Yeah, whoever may has been called to hire things.

That was wild. That was wild. It's like you're talking, you're saying too much. We told you not to ever reveal. You signed an NDA. Um, oh, my gosh. Oh, okay. I'm back.

I'm back. Yeah. Wi-Fi went out. They build an apartment in the mall. But I mean, with electricity, they somehow smuggle like a couch that they have to break into pieces and get up there. And they have it for four years where they are like living in the mall. I won't ruin it. Yeah.

And this is all top secret. Nobody knows they're living in the mall. No, and there's close calls with security and all this stuff. Wow. That would be exciting. Oh my God. That would stress me out. So stressful.

But the magic of it is that they're like, we're just doing this as art. Like for no audience, no money. And they're like life as art. Like a big scale prank like that almost. Oh my gosh. And they remember it forever. And you've got to watch it.

It's really inspiring. I would love to see it. Really good. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Too, I'm watching inspired television. What are you watching?

Sounds like maybe fortune isn't. not. It's called Tell Me Lies and it's on Hulu and it's a bunch of people banging and being awful to each other in college. Reality? TV or not? No, it's a real, it's scripted. Okay.

And it'll really hook you. Really? They are so horny. Oh, God. And also so awful to each other. And I don't know why would you like start. watching and you can't stop. You love it?

I love it. And it's called what? It's called Tell Me Lies. And there's a bad boy. There's a bad boy named Stephen who is, you will hate more than any character on television you've ever hated. Really? But he loves to bang.

Yeah. He's a hot bad boy. He's a bad boy that just knows how to put it down. You know what I mean? Yeah. What did he put down? His winger. He knows how to put his winger down.

And you're saying the other contestants do not know how to put their waders down? No, it's not contestants. It's like a TV show scripted. Oh, oh, oh, whatever, contested. And he has a girlfriend that he breaks up with for another girl and then they're passionate and they love each other. And then he screws her over and gets back with the other one. And then they're all lined with each other. and they're mean and they're banging.

Look at fortunes act out. I'm just saying that you guys I've also watched important stuff. And what do you suppose that, like, what do you think sparks that interest for you? Where you're, because I'm not saying I wouldn't be interested

if I watch it. I'm just curious with you, having seen it. I don't know. It's like one of those shows where you can't really describe why you're into it, but you can't stop watching it.

I recommended it to another lesbian and friend and she and her wife could not stop watching it. Really? Yeah. Okay. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. Honestly, I don't know. Give one episode to try and see if you get hooked. If you're not hooked on one, you're probably not going to be into it.

Like, you know right away if you're into this vibe or not. It's called Tell Me Lies. That's right. Okay. Grace Van Patton is the star of it. Is the theme song, Tell Me Lies. Tell Me Sweet Little. No, but they do.

Tell me, tell me lies. So it starts in modern day, but modern day for them is like 2015. And then it goes back seven years to when they were in college. Okay. And so they have a really good music in this show, but it's covers of songs that were super popular in the 90s. And that's really fun too. I like that.

Not 90s, 2000s, like Mr. Brightside and stuff. Oh, yes. So I don't know. I'm into it. And it made me realize that I was very boring in college. Well, and so you're saying this is more inspiring than like, come see me in the good light?

I mean, in a different kind of way. Because when I feel like my documentary has going for it is like positivity and hope in the world. Yeah, this isn't how that. Okay. This is tantalizing, scintillating.

This is dark. Horny Bitches That is your spin-off podcast Dark horny bitches And it's just you Welcome to dark horny bitches

With your host Fortune Feemster Wow Yeah listen I'm just saying I'm not comparing the two like apples It feels like, yeah. More like apples, the oranges.

Apple TV to orange TV is what this is. Yeah. But we're very excited for you. Well, thanks. I appreciate the support. And it's going to be interesting. It sure will. And, you know, when you said it's a childhood dream,

I can't say I imagined I'd ever be doing anything they would call for an Oscar nomination. but it feels good. And it feels like everybody that worked on this film did exactly the right job to make this exactly what it is. Yeah. So it was an inspired doc. Yeah.

About living. Man, the in memoriam at this Oscars is going to be, we just lost Catherine O'Hara. I know. I know very sad day for Canadians. Well, for everyone. Yeah, so awful. Speaking of documentaries, I'm excited.

There's a documentary coming out about the... Melania? Yeah, I can't wait. No, this production of Godspell in the 70s in Toronto. Yeah, that had like Martin Short and Catherine O'Hara and Gilda Radner, Eugene Levy, Dan Akroy. They were all in this one. Yeah. So that'll be good.

And also, what I was going to say before, and now it's not relevant. But when I first moved to England, I was so... so bad at comedy and I did musical comedy and all I had was I rewrote Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies to Feed me pies, feed me chickenie pies It was bad Chicken chicken pies

Feed me feed me feed me And you just sang that on stage And people are kind of like, huh Yeah, exactly Or did the crowd go wild? No, it was very much huh Yeah When how long did you do that

And then go I think I'm going to move beyond Chicken Pop Pie humor I mean, it was this good six months I was thinking, they're just not getting it, but I'm gonna, yeah, put the guitar down. I'm gonna keep giving it to them.

Yeah. Well, you should record it and we'll release it on the website. Am I right? No, I feel like it was just that joke. It was just feed me pies, feed me chicken. Yeah, we have an entire website that can just be dedicated to any song

you feel like putting out there. Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. Around Easter time, you know what I'm doing. Yeah, you're going to be singing to the Lord. Yeah. Let's face the facts.

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definitely want a place with a private outdoor hot tub so I can take a long soak and look up at the stars. Here's my question though. Where should I go? I mean if you're willing to go a bit further, I do love mixing in a hot tub with the cold, so Colorado maybe, or even the desert. I got a house out there on Airbnb with some friends. It was so good. Everyone had their own room. We cooked up like family style meals in the kitchen. If you wanted somewhere closer to home, would you do Palm Springs? Oh, for sure. Another reason I love Airbnb is that booking with them feels so much more special than hotels. I've stayed at hotels where I've gotten on an elevator, had to find the right floor,

and then search for the pool and the hot tub, and then you find out they're closed. I just love the privacy. Okay, well, this inspired me to book something soon, so I appreciate it, buddy. And if you're listening out there and thinking about your next trip, I highly recommend you check out Airbnb and do some traveling yourself. The new year is here. Get back into a handsome app. home routine you love and elevate your space with Wayfair.

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Happy Easter, he is risen. Should we get to our question? Yeah, let's do it. Yes, we should TIG. Mm-hmm. Well, today's question asker is a hugely famous and popular drag queen and musician who won season three of Rupal's Drag Race All-Stars, and served as a judge on Queen of the Universe.

She produced and starred in the docu-series Trixie Motel and launched her own cosmetics brand, Trixie Cosmetics, which that line is ginormous as well. Trixie Mattel is asking today's question. Woo-hoo. I love Trixie. I don't think Trixie's in drag for this question. Trixie is so witty.

Trixie's drag. Very snow joke. is incredible. That would take hours to put on. Not for me. Yeah. I could just slap that right on. You could do that in the car on the way to work.

Oh, yeah. One hand while you're driving. Slap, slap, slap, slap. There it is. I think Trixie is one of the best drag queens there is. And Trixie has a podcast with Katia and their podcast is very popular as well. And I could watch clips with the two of them all day. long. They are so funny.

Well, you got to turn off Tell Me Lies for just half a second. I know. It's hard to break myself away from all those horny, dark bitches. It's sounding like gossip girl to me like that vibe. Um, it's

way hornier than that. Whoa. Yeah. I don't know. They're just always doing it. They're always lying to each other. That hints tell me lies. They're Podcast, Trixie's podcast is called The Bald and the Beautiful, The Trixie and Katia, a very, very funny pod. Well, let's hear it. Give it to us. Hello, folks, over at Hansom. I am, Tricks and Mattel, at least I usually am. Hello, I know all of you separately.

But not all be together. I've been thinking about this a lot. Last summer, I had a pool party, and I put on the invitation two to five. And everybody was like, damn, bitch, jump in the water and get wet and leave, huh? But I don't think it's rude when you invite people to something to add an end time. Do you guys think that's rude? I have strong feelings. I love an end time because it means that people will arrive on time because they know that it's not like, oh, it says start at two, but, you know, people won't get there until four. It's like, you know, get there at two and then get out.

He's ready to party. I'm ready to party. And then you could tell a select group of people, hey, I said on the invite five, but stick around after, you know what I mean? I know what I know exactly what you mean. I know you do do that. Yeah. By the way, are you back to doing that again?

What, orgies? No, it has to happen organically. Okay. But yeah, I am in that era again, I would say. You're in that era again, okay. Wow. Because I know you have a, you'll have. I'm still not.

Yeah. You're not. I know, I'm, I can't do that either. Um, I know that you have a, like, this is the, this is the party, the beginning party. And then there's a late party. Well, you're thinking about that one party you came to. That became an orgy after you left. No, no, no.

No, no. I was not at that party, but I came to the party a few weeks later where I was told, did you know what happened at the last party? And I was like, what? And then I heard tell of that. I don't know. I don't know if you did it again. Maybe you did it again.

I don't think I was even invited to any of these parties or orgies. My wife is invited to these parties. No, you were invited. You were invited. You just don't go. No, I'm not. at every party like doing

telling people stay after for an orgy but I do if you don't give an end little personal invitation no as they come in I slip a little card in their pocket

no I don't I was like this tig at the party fortune's mind I feel like that's you at any party I've seen you at a party where you just kind of peek around

and then you're like I gotta go I got to yeah because when when things When it starts to get salacious, I do have to leave. You have to bounce. I can't sit and watch that.

Fortune and I are bolting out the door. I do not want to be the old woman in the corner watching this. That wouldn't happen, though. It wouldn't start if there were two people who didn't want to be there just standing against the wall. So when it happened, there were no spectators. everyone was involved. Are we, we're back to the,

we're back to the, we're back to the origin. I think that's a fair question. Seems like Fortune's interested in origins after all. Yes, you want. Yeah, girl. I do,

no, this is a light soft body. And that cannot happen in one of these situations. I don't want, I don't need people looking at me while this is happening, you know what I mean? Everyone's just worried about themselves,

looking, you know, and looking all around at the, at the whole. Nobody's thinking about you. They're just thinking about their own privates. It's still not for me. There was one spectator who said. Was it my wife?

Was it my wife? There was one spectator. No, there was someone who said, I don't want to keep her on a tight leash or anything. It's fine if she was there peek-a-booing. But go on. Yeah, who was this person? You don't even tell us the name, but who was this person?

What's her name? A friend of mine and she was like, yeah, I'm not, I don't think I'm, she'd been in the last orgy. She was like, I don't think I'm going to get involved, but I'm going to be here to help. Like if anyone needs me to pass them lube or whatever or like just needs. Orch in space. You didn't, wait, that is the shocking part. That's used in an orgy. Orgy.

Orch is like, oh, wow. Well, this has gone a little too far. much. I'm going back to the Christian pod we started with. He is risen. What's the name of your other pod? I guess I guess that

that person can stay around and watch only because they did participate before. No, anyone could stay and watch if they're well, I don't know. I mean, I don't think anyone can stay in watch. What does this have to do with should you?

What does any of this have to do with should we get an end of I think it has everything to do with it Fair enough If you have an end time I think that's good because the people that you don't want Just hanging around

Leave at the end of time you've given Those fuggos No no come on Wait what it What'd you say The fuggos Get an in time tig They don't get to be part of the

Do you know what fuggos I don't Like like that's horrible fucking ugly that's horrible fortune Marie what I can't believe you call people that I would be given I would be given an end time I'm included in this no

yes I'm not I'm not ripping on anybody else I'm ripping this question become about me excluding people on it for an orgy well not everyone could be there I was just making a joke everyone's beautiful that was a joke Well, I mean, I don't get it. But it's funnier to say Fuggos than the longer. That is a fun word.

It sounds familiar. But when you make me say it, say it again. That's not as nice. Say it again and tell us what it means. No, I don't want to. Do you guys want to play a game? No.

Okay. So are you giving end dates and times for your kids' birthday parties and stuff? I'm moving to a game. Why do you really don't want a game? Okay, the game is just, and then you can decide I'll put a big gulp of water in my mouth. Wait,

Tigs taking her. Are you not participating? Wow. Wow. All right. I'll listen. I'll listen. How about a little yes and over here?

Go ahead. No, but. I'm sorry about our friends being a fug-o. It's just funny. You can, you can just fug-off. Very good.

Fug-off. Fug-off. Also, when do we talk about the end of the party. I just tried asking. Trixie. Okay, go out.

Do your game. It's not even good. No, who cares? No game is good. I stood up for you. Okay, if I put a big gulp of water in my mouth and then you guys, one by one, say, say one word out loud and try to make me laugh and spit the water out. Okay. Yeah?

So it's one word and neither of you say, Fuggo, please. Oh, that was my word. I know it was. That's not mine. Okay. Okay, I'm really going to try not to spell it. Don't hurt your mic. Pony rides.

Wait, we said that the same time. Pony rides. Cooter rides. Cooter rides is good. Go to YouTube. This is the most handsome I've ever seen, May. Oh, I got a word for you. Yeah.

Lube. Ah. Bucleube. we had a laugh but no water spilled god we're not good at this or May is really good at this this way I hate games Tiggle bitties

hmm I would keep saying I swallowed the water I think we lost no I think we just lost That's a terrible game You almost close with Kudorides I know Kudoraz was good

That was really good. I felt like I would have gone. On a cooter ride. All right, TIG, we've been dying to know about your thoughts on the end time of a party. Yes, or no? Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, I think so.

I don't know if it was on here or another podcast I was doing. Who knows? We talk for a living, right? We have no idea what we're saying. No idea. So I used to have like a big blowout, you know. I used to have like big parties. Oh yeah.

Because your birthday's coming up. Yeah. I'm done. I'm done. You're not going to do it. What do you mean? I don't like that you're done because I never got to go to any of these parties. Same.

Because I was always out of town. You didn't invite you. You did, but I was out of town. I've never been invited. I, you know, maybe some weird thing will happen and I'll do it again. But like, I would go wide. big and wide with the party. What does that mean?

Just like bar tenders and food and like every like if I knew you on some level. You were invited. To some degree. I mean, it's like it's hard to invite everyone because not everyone from the orgies getting an invite. No. Do you find it hard? I think we've talked about this.

Like having moved so many times in life and being the ages that we are and the different professions that we've had of like keeping in touch with everyone. It is hard. It's really hard. And it's unnatural to have to be carrying on like a hundred conversations at once on your phone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And different time zones. It's, it's really hard. But that's why parties are good. Because you got everyone in one place. You see them once a year, you know? I know, I don't think you you should give up on parties. You can like not have one this year, but then revisit it at some point. Thank you. Could we throw you one? You could.

You could. But after the Oscars and everything this year, this is when I'm having my first plastic surgery operation. Oh, my God. Getting those tits back on, aren't you? On my eyes. I get my dumpster tits. Somebody found them in the dumpster.

Yeah. Coming back. Couple of rodents hanging off of them, but they're getting sewn on too. They both have ornaments on them. But yeah, I have my, We should podcast some night when I'm so exhausted because I am pop-eye face. Like nobody's business.

My eyelid, the muscle of it cannot open at all. Can we podcast when you're recovering from the surge? Oh, for sure. Oh, that would be fun. Yeah. I would love to show everyone. We're on some kind of hill to you. Yeah, with an eye patch.

Yeah. Hello, everyone. It's your old sea captain dig. That's a really. good impression of me. It's being you with an eye patch because it would be a sea captain. Well, I'm for sure

going to get on and as long as I'm feeling okay, you know, because apparently can take a couple of weeks to like really feel like you're back in your body. Hopefully it'll be sooner. But I am more than willing to get on here and be like, this

is my new Hollywood face. Yeah. I really want you to show up And you've, you've, you've had a couple other things done too, just, just for fun. Like what? Like Botox so that you,

I mean, not that you're like making crazy faces all the time as it is, but Botox. So you're really still. Well, I did Botox once for my, I have bad, like,

head stuff. Yeah. And I was told that maybe Botox can help. And, um, Stephanie was teasing me the other night about that, those, few months that I had Botox and how she goes, she was like, that was, she said, you were one of

those examples of like you looked like a completely different person. Oh my God. And I just said, please don't ever bring that up again. That was a mistake I made. Oh my God. But yeah, it's, I don't know if I can do that again. But it also didn't help my head at all. Yeah. But we all have our problems, right? Yeah. But yes, get out of my house by 5 p.m. I also love an early thing. What I do enjoy more than a huge party is just a dinner party.

Oh, I love a dinner party. With like 8 to 10 people. Love that. And you hang out, start early. Like five? Honestly, yes. You have hors d'oeuvres and drinks and you just chat. And then you move into the food.

when you're ready, listen to some tunes. I could do that until the cows come home. But like a million people running around my house and property. Yeah, that's stressful. It's so stressful. And you don't get to sit down and talk to people one on one. And I just, I love that so much more. And if you add like the party ends at eight,

but you're having a good time, you're like, guys, by the way, I wasn't sure if you'd be a fun bunch and a big group together. We can go till 8.30. Yeah. Yeah. I do love an end time. I do not mind an end time at all. I will say if Trixie's friends are a little bit right in that like two to five for a pool party seat does seem short.

No. Yeah. You know what? Enough time to tread water. I would have added one more hour more than five. Yeah. And pool party feels like it should be able to get a little wild. What, like cannonballs?

What are you talking about? Yeah, you could be doing cannonballs. What if you'd ruined the whole part? Everybody was looking for a chill day and you're just like, belly flop. Yeah, I think I threw one pool party years and years and years ago and it was so much work. And I was like, never again. I'm not great at throwing, I don't throw a lot of parties personally. Oh, but you want me to throw my big.

I did. I did in my, from Thursday. 30 to 35, I threw myself a lot of birthday parties. I did do that. Six a year. I mean, one a year, you know. I was going to say more than five in that window of time. And I had some good ones.

I had one at the gay country Western bar. I had one at a piano. The piano bar was really fun. I had one at my house. I had one. I don't remember. But I had some good B-day parties back, back in my single days.

I miss the days where it's your birthday and, you know, I just got to invite everyone in my class. Just the 25 kids in my class and there's no hierarchy. It's just, yeah, I went to a kid's birthday party on Sunday and there was a bouncy castle and pizza and then all these. Did you know anyone there? No, I just was walking by. So it looked fun.

Yeah, it was Sabrina's son's birthday and all the parents were there. And it is weird that they don't know each other and they all have to socialize because their kids are, there together and then someone said to me, hey, a lot of these kids love the Beatles. You want to grab a guitar and play a Beatles song? And a part of me was like picturing this magical moment, all the kids sing along. And then I thought about what it would really be like and how I'd bomb and the kids wouldn't really want to listen. And the parents would be like, what is this? And I get the lyrics wrong and it would seem like I wanted attention. And you didn't do it?

I didn't do it. You just got to like, well, I panning myself in times of trouble. That's Bob Dylan singing The Beatles Yeah Speaking With her words Let it be Should we hear

Trixie's answer Yeah I personally don't think that's rude I think it gives everybody an idea Of when things are meant to wrap up Quality over quantity Come over for lunch Doesn't mean you should be here at 10 p.m.

Do you guys think that's crazy? Fair, fair point. Fair, yeah. Well, because there are people that don't read the room. Yes. God. And it's never who you want to stay. There's always one person that shows up like 10 minutes before the party starts.

And you're still like putting things out and they're just there not helping and staring at you. And then there's always a person you don't want to stay late is not leaving. Yeah. So it's the time the time book, bookends helps with the people that aren't as self-aware. Yeah. Well, and that's the problem with being so jacked up on drugs and alcohol. Oh, that's a good. So we'll end there.

That you don't pick up on cues? I'm just assuming, like, if you're trashed and you're just like, we, party continues. Did I tell you about when I went to that party years ago? It was like Nick Kroll, Jason Sadekis, Olivia Wild, they had done like some film. and they were like, hey, we're at the director's house. Come over and hang out, and I went over there. And it was very intimate.

And like maybe 10 people. Oh, yeah. And then I said to the friends of mine and the cast, I was like, okay, when you guys leave, I'm just going to hang out at your director's house and act like I don't pick up that it's time. to leave. And so they all left. And I was just sitting at his kitchen table. And I was like, man, so that was really fun. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You actually went through with the bed. You commit to these

bits. Oh, my God. And he was like, yeah, you know, and he was like cleaning up. And you could tell he was like, what in the hell is happening? You thought you were trying to bang. Yeah. But to this day, when I see him every now and then we have a laugh about that. You love a bit. Oh my God. Well, I love an awkward. Wouldn't you want to see that? I couldn't put myself through the pain of that.

Okay, but wouldn't you want to watch me doing it? I would want to watch you do it, but it would be painful to be the person doing it. I need to have a prank show. Yeah, you do. There's no audience for that. Your friends have left. It's just you and him. Well, yeah, it's just I do so many bits just for me.

And then I share them. That's great. That's my nightmare. Being in an awkward situation, you thrive. I love it. I love it so much. I have something really related to that, which is I took Parv's daughter, Amma, to the Muppets premiere. And so I kept bumping into people I knew.

And I was so excited. It was just me and Alma. Like Kermit? Yeah, my buddy Kermit. No, like friends who were coming up. And then Amma was like, geez, like people keep distracted. us from talking. And I was like, yeah, it's, people keep coming over. And she was like, are they your friends? And I was like, some of them. But I said, actually, sometimes people come over and I don't really

even want to talk to them. I don't really know them that well. So I just know you from your IMDB score. I said, Amma, you could say, you could make up a re could go, oh, May, we got to go over here. We got to, you distract me. And she was like, okay, got it, got it. And then this guy came over, not five minutes later and was like, May, hey. And I was like, hey. And she goes, May told me, they don't want to talk to people at this party and that they want me to make up an excuse to get them out of the conversation. I was like, oh, Ella, she's referring to something else.

Yeah, not you, not you. That is so funny. That was really good. She was doing a bunch of bits, actually. In the bathroom, she goes, I flushed my hairband down the toilet. I went, what? And she goes, yeah, but fell in.

I flushed it right down. I was like, she's doing a bit. She goes, come in and look. I go and it's nowhere to be found. And then she'd hidden it behind the door. But she really committed for a long time. Oh, she got you. She got me good.

Yeah, yeah. She and I need to have a prank show. Yeah. Oh, my God. What if that was my story? I was like, and after everyone left, I hung my hairband on his bathroom hook by the door. You've been tagged. And he didn't know it.

Well, what a podcast. What a podcast. y'all. Well, before we get into promotions, I want to say really quickly that the handsome pod is doing a live show. It has been a minute since we have gotten to, we did our dynasty typewriter, Hollybobbs, but this will be our next one in May. May 4th as part of the Netflix is a joke festival. It'll be at the Wiltern. We've got a really cool guest, Malin Ackerman, and Brittany Snow, from The Hunting Wives. So get your tickets.

This is going to be a really fun, big show. And it will not be live streamed. Yeah, it's going to be a grand old time. Grand old time. You have to get your tickets right now. Yeah, I'm excited. The link is on our social media pages. Mm-hmm.

And you can also go to tignotara.com if you want to come see me live on my tour or doing L.A. dates. And final push. Check out, come see me in the good light on Apple TV. It is a documentary full of hope and life, even though it seems like it won't be. And a lot of humor in there too.

So it's so beautiful. Please check it out. You can also sign up for Apple for a trial subscription. If you're like, I don't have Apple TV. Trial. Trial subscription. I'm going on tour real soon. If you go to Maymartin.

dot net. There's still tickets left and I'm going to Oklahoma first at the end of February and then I'm going to Texas and I would love to see everyone there. I want to sell it out. It's going, it's selling really well, but then there's some random cities that aren't, that aren't, I mean, I've never toured before so I'm talking about this like, it's crazy. Some cities don't sell and some do. But please come and see me. Maymartin.net. It's going to be very, very joyful. Yes. Have a grand. I'm in San Diego, March 7th. And then the rest of my tour picks back up in April,

all those dates I had to reschedule are definitely happening. Oklahoma City, Fayetteville, Arkansas, Little Rock, San Antonio, Des Moines, Toronto, Rochester, Minnesota, Cedar Rapids, Omaha, Portland, Maine, Detroit. Those are all coming up soon. Love it. And please love you. Love you too. Mew.

You as well, may rate, review, subscribe. to this podcast and the YouTube page, and please share your favorite episodes with friends and let's keep building this community. Also, we're up for a GLAD Award. Hey, we are. Yeah, we are. Yeah, for best podcast of the year.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. So that's also why you should share the podcast because we are the best. We're number one. In our hearts. Yeah, in our hearts. So until next, time. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, May Martin, and Fortune

Themster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hit gum podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that there will be a bench somewhere along the way on your next walk. Ouch. Sitting on a large boulder when you need a break just isn't the same. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance

Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I have a new podcast on HeadGum called Next We Have. Now, this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't, because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how law works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments.

For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge, Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Do Boys play a game called Meal or No Meal. and Steph Tolliv and I go head to head on a thought-provoking game called Guess That Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds, and we probably have more fun than we should. But it's a great time, and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next We Have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.