Handsome - Wayne Brady asks about using comedy to help

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

Wayne Brady, of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" and the "What If?!" podcast, graces the Handsome hosts with a question about using laughter and comedy for good! Plus acting tips, Mae having a cry, cheapening the trauma, and more!Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.comWatch Handsome on YouTubeThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Handsome via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pot, I'm Forja Feimster. I am Tig Notaro. And comin' in from the rear, it's Mae Martin. Choo-choo. Good morning. Morning. How's everyone doing?

Fortune, your voice sounds a lot better. I'm trying to sound sexy for you guys. Yes, but it's not working, but how is your voice? Better. Yeah, you sound good. It's getting back. It sounds smooth, buttery. Thank you guys.

I appreciate that. And you have a lot of talking to do today. Yeah, I've got a full day of talking. It's weird to lose your voice when your entire job is talking. I know. Do you get tired of talking? Oh, God, yes.

Do you? Really? Yes. Like sticking your own voice? You guys don't? Oh yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I also do a two hour radio show four days a week.

Right, right. And I've done that for five years. So that feels like a lot of talking just with that alone. Yeah. Do you guys hate when you're promoting something and you end up telling the same stories over and over and the sound of your voice gets so like nails on a chalkboard to yourself. Yeah it's um I remember somebody criticized me because they had heard me in one interview and then heard me in another one they're

like oh you just have cut and paste answers answer answer in the sense, and it's like, I'm asked the same question, and that is the answer. Yeah. Like, what do I do? Do I make up a new answer? Yeah. But yeah, it's definitely hard to repeat the same thing over and over, and then other times,

it's very easy, because I forget that I've already told the story. Do I sound sexy? Wait, you're cause your, your voice is deeper this morning. Yeah. Why is it deeper? Yeah. Well, again, because you just woke up 10 minutes ago, less than 10.

And now do you ever consider setting your alarm 10 minutes earlier? So you're not just waking up I hit snooze and then until you know what actually happened is I I woke up Yeah, like in time and then I got a stressful text and then I cried and then now I sound really sexy because My voice is deep from crying sleeping and testosterone because my voice is deep from crying, sleeping, and testosterone. Aw. Yeah. Why is someone making you cry at 9.30 in the morning?

I know. That's too early to cry. Yeah, I know. What is the proper time to make somebody cry? 3 p.m.? At least. Not till I've had my coffee. Yeah, exactly, yeah. What do you put in your coffee? Do you do sugar and cream or just cream

or black? It's just espresso. This is actually I have three drinks today. This is my tea. Whoa, this is my coffee. Triple fisting. And this is my water. Wow. My coffee is just espresso with a little bit of oat milk and that's it. Because I know oat milk has sugar in it, but I don't do sugar. I don't add any sugar, no cream. My tea today is the throat coat. Sure. With a little lemon and a little bit of honey.

Okay. And my water is full of ice. Yeah, do you crunch ice with your teeth or no? I love ice, but I'm not necessarily crunching it the whole time. Right. Oh, I used to be an ice cruncher. Yeah, same.

I like my drinks cold, baby. Well, I like my drinks like I like my women, cold and scary. Cold and making me cry at 9.30 in the morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what did you say for sure? Cold and making me cry at 9.30 in the morning. Was it a romantic call that you got or text?

Of course, of course. Who else is making this little cowboy cry? I got a big bleeding heart. I'm not making May cry. I'll tell you that right now. You will, you will. Should we all just cry right now? Okay.

I'm not feeling even remotely sad. Okay, I was just trying to be empathetic. Do you think you can get there? I can make myself cry. I don't want to right now, but I could. Yeah. So are you, you're that good of an actor where you can go to it and you can cry?

I think I could get there, yes. But I don't, I'm not saying I'm that good of an actor, but I could get there. I feel like that's what you were saying. No, I did have to do that on my FUBAR last season. And it is weird when all these people are staring at you and you're just kind of squeezing your eyes. Yeah, yeah.

So I finally had them give me the stick. It doesn't matter how many times everyone's like, you know what, it's not about the crying. Sometimes it's more moving just to watch someone try not to cry. That's what they always say to me to take the pressure off. But you know they're thinking, you better get some fucking tears out. And do you have trouble crying, May, when you're on set?

No, no. You can't. Well, I did actually this time. And it was like, I think it was because it was too dramatic, the scene. I don't want to give spoilers, but I'm like tied to a chair and it's like, I'm going to maybe die and then I'm really supposed to like. That feels like a spoiler. Yeah, that feels like a massive spoiler.

No need to watch the show now. No spoilers. And I'm like, I mean, I'm in a really scary situation that I've never been in in my life. If I'm doing a breakup scene or something, I can cry because I've been through that so many times. But this was like so out of my experience and I'm like submerged in water kind of and there's like, and then so that I could hear the director, it was like really quiet and everyone's trying to be really respectful so I can, you know, really get there. And then he goes, May, he's well, she goes, think about everyone.

Sorry. Think about everyone who's ever abandoned you. Oh my God. He goes, May, just think about everyone in your life who's ever abandoned you. Some acting coaches would not like that. Really? They'd be like- An acting coach? It depends on the acting coach. Some want you to use real life and some think that if you use your real traumas that cheapens your own Trauma and life experiences if you're if you're trying to access those two for a fake

God, I would love to cheapen my trauma Yeah, like why not cheapen the trauma? Yeah, that's so true. Why keep it built up? Let's preserve it like a gift. Let's preserve it like a something good. Yeah. Let's cheapen that. Let's take it down a notch. Why the way at it? I really, I'm not sure I can follow that. Pay for all those years of therapy. Yeah. It just depends on the person. Did you end up thinking about all the people that abandoned you?

Well, I started laughing and then that annoyed everyone. And then I tried to think about that and that didn't work. And then I sort of got choked up, but I do sometimes forget that like acting is acting. Like I should be thinking, oh my God, I'm tied to a chair and I'm going to die. You know what I mean? And not being like, oh, who's abandoned me? May have thought about all the people who have abandoned you.

Who have abandoned you. And I wanted to be like, why do you think I've been abandoned? And then- Nobody's left. Not a single person is left. I'm totally fine. Toni Collette had to, in the scene, she slaps me. And this is again a big spoiler. Another spoiler. I know.

But I was like, can you just slap me please? And she was like, no, I'm an actor. I was like, but I'm not good at acting. And I don't know how to act being slapped. She was like, I'm not gonna slap you. I was like, but I'm not good at acting and I don't know how to act being slapped. She was like, I'm not going to slap you. I was like, please. And she wouldn't. No, because she's a professional. Yeah. But I don't know, maybe some people would have, but I was glad it looks good on camera.

I wouldn't have slapped you. Fortune would you? Um, I would have been hesitant for sure. Fortune slaps us no matter what's going on. Fortune walks in the room, just slaps all of us silly. Even Thomas knocks the glasses off his face. Mustache goes flying. I would slap Fortune if she asked me, but I don't know if I could slap you, Tate. Why? Because you might break your jaw. Well, I was a Danny picked you up and broke your rib. I was scared also you'd give me like a very deadpan look afterwards and I'd be like, I'd be scared. I feel like fortune if you were like... A deadpan look scares you. Oh yeah. And delights me.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, that was good fortune. Was that your deadpan look? It was more like this. I was trying to do deadpan. Yeah. What was the other one where you leaned forward?

Was that an attempt to deadpan or what was it? Duck lips. When I put on my lip taint. We might need to have our own chapstick that says lip taint. Oh my God. I was telling Fortune before you got on, May, that I do think that we should,

when we do live in person, in studio, how many more descriptive words can I use, episodes that we should do makeup tutorials. Tutorials, yeah. Okay. And I'd be happy to be the one receiving the makeup. Oh wow, okay. Oh, pretty little lady. Yeah.

Did my makeup routine inspire you? Yeah, when you had that little sponge thing. Beauty blender. Beauty blender. And are you open to some taint too? I am of course open to some taint. Fortunately you're applying lotion there. I am. And I just find I'm endlessly amused that you both are such little makeup faces.

Princesses, yeah. I'm a princess-tig. Well, my grandmother always was very big on lotioning my hands. Oh, she would do it to you? Yeah, like, she was like. Is that why you started doing that to your friends that you had the hots for? I think, you know what, Tegan,

I've never put that together, but maybe. Because your grandma had the hots for you? Because you're my best friend! My grandmother would sneak attack me with lotion, though. She would have it in her hand and not tell me it was in her hand, and she she grabbed my hand and then like apply it to me. Oh my god. I want to do like a meet and greet with fans after a show and I'll have a bunch of lotion in my hands

every time I shake their hands. That would be so disgusting not knowing that that's coming and for a person you don't know. So disgusting not knowing that that's coming. And for a person you don't know. Yeah, that would be it. You know what I loved doing when I was a kid? I would, I'd soak my hands just in the water fountain. And then I'd go up to a friend of mine, I'd grab their arm and be like,

can you help me get my lunch money out of the toilet? That's amazing. Gross. That's so. Gross. That's so good. Another classic Tig move. Classic, classic Tig. I mean, that's so fun. That's really funny.

You should bring that back, start doing that too. I've done it a few times. Do it to your Hollywood friends. Do it to Hollywood friends. Yeah, like how would Jennifer Aniston react? Jen. Oh, like how would Jennifer Aniston react? Jen! Oh, honey! T! Honey, no! Do you ever, do you prank Max and Finn? It feels like it would be almost not pleasant

because they're so pure. Well, they prank. Oh, they do? Yeah, they have whoopee cushions and they have those like buzzer handshakers. And yeah, but right now, I think I already told you they're very into magic. There's nothing funnier than a kid with one of those hand buzzers where you can see it on their hand. And also it's a child being like, can I shake your hand?

And you're like, something's up here. Or when they're both trying to get you to sit on one particular cushion of the couch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you can see the whoopee cushion. I like it when a small town has like one guy that everyone knows does magic. Is that a thing? I'm not familiar with it. Yeah. It wasn't my town. So he's like, who's the magician in this town?

You know Joe, he always does magic tricks and tells jokes. And I would love to be in a small town and be known as the guy that tells jokes and does magic tricks. Yeah. Well, what a life. It feels like that's also the guy who they kind of uncovered darker things about later on. Oh, no, don't ruin it for me.

Oh, for sure. For sure. There's stuff going on. Harmless Joe? Harmless Joe who does magic? He used to tell this one joke because he would like do the hosting for like the things in town and he would say like, I took my wife to go get some ice cream or Tabasco and Robbins 31 flavors and get any flavor

you want. She picked vanilla. Wait, that was his big joke that you remember? She picked vanilla. And is the joke that his wife is... I think he set it up better, but... Oh my God. As a professional comedian, you couldn't... I couldn't spruce that up.

I think he drove hours, I think he drove hours for it to take her. I left that part out. Oh, okay. That is pretty funny. She chose vanilla. She chose vanilla. She chose vanilla. I think it was like I was expecting it to be the type of joke that is like a dad joke with a really clear punchline, but actually it's more of an anecdotal like he drove her hours, there's all these options.

I could actually listen to that as a 20 minute story. Is there more? Yeah. I'm sure there was. How long they've been married. I don't remember a single other joke you told, but that one always stood out to me. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.

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Yeah, love it. I don't mind. I did have a flight attendant once. This was back in my, I think Chelsea lately days. Uh, I was sitting on the window at the window and my row was full and she said, can I see you in the back please? And I thought I was in trouble and I was like, Oh, okay. So I have to climb out past these two guys, go to the back.

And she wanted, wanted to show me to show me YouTube videos that she'd made and wanted to get my opinion on if they were funny. Can I see you in the back please? And you're not even sitting on an aisle? No, I'm not even on an aisle. I have to make people get up and so I can go back there. And she goes, she wanted me to tell her if they were funny and they were terrible. And I was like, oh my God, I don't know what to say. What did you say? Because you mean I'm very polite. I think I was like, these are incredible. You're doing it. That's what you got to do is you you gotta do it. Listen, I see that you captured something.

You got a camera, you did it, you filmed it, you put it up, you did it. Oh my God. That is so rough. I don't even think she gave me any free chips or anything. Oh my God, I was on a flight and they, I don't know, they didn't even tell me that they knew who I was. They were just like throwing treats at me.

And you're like, I'm like a seal. We're transporting the seal from LA to New York. And I also felt bad because half of them weren't vegan, And I also felt bad because half of them weren't vegan, you know, and I didn't want to like, be like, oh, I'm a vegan person. You should have thrown them right back and been like, you're obviously not that big a fan if you think that's right. I've been on a flight with Tidge and there was no vegan option. Really?

In a sad time. Wow. Wait, what happened? You were on a flight with me and there was no vegan option? You don't remember this? No. Remember that? This was years ago.

We weren't flying together. I think we just happened to be on the same flight. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I would lose my mind if I showed up and I sat down in my seat and one of you was sitting a few rows away. I would lose my mind.

If it was just, we didn't know we were on the same flight. Yeah, I love that kind of thing. I'd be taking pictures the whole time. Yeah. In the back of your head. Keep it handsome. Choo, choo, choo, choo. I'd tell the flight attendant that it was your birthday

and you wanted to meet the pilot. Oh my God. But that we were too shy to ask. I had to in that cockpit and I was like, should I have the fortune? Okay, not that, may. Wait, you were allowed to go into the cockpit? Yeah, the pilot was like a fan and said,

come back here and I was like, why is everybody making me go to places on the plane? Is this all you dreamed of? Can't I just sit down? Yeah, so we had me sit in the seat and we took a picture of it. I'm like, while you were flying? No, we were on the ground.

Okay, okay. I was really stressed. God, no, I think no one is allowed up there. They locked the door now. I would hope stressed. No, God no. I don't think, I think no one is allowed up there. They locked the door now. I would hope so. Yeah. Isn't it crazy how loosey goosey it used to be at the airport? Yes.

I mean, I remember just wanting to go pick people up. That was so fun. At their gate. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And kids would go like sit on the pilot's lap and stuff. And yeah, it was very... And they kept those, and the doors were always open.

Yeah. You could wave to the pilot. And now I always find it hilarious that when the pilot has to come out to go to the bathroom, the flight attendant rolls the cart to block the walkway to get to. Yeah. And it's like- Oh yeah.

But also, like if you're really wanting to do some damage, you know, the flight attendant standing there with the food cart probably isn't going to hold anyone back. You'd be like, God damn it. Foiled again. It's enough time to yell help. Yeah. That's true. The other thing that concerns me flying is when the flight

attendants say we're mainly here for your, your safety, but if there's anything we can get you and then half the time, if you look down, a flight attendant will have a skirt on and heels. And I'm looking at that thinking if there's an emergency, what are you going to do in a skirt and heels? You better pop off those kitten heels and start running. But if there's like fire or like broken pieces of something, if she kicks off her kitten heels, we're still in trouble. Yeah, true.

You know? I didn't really think about that stuff till all this stuff lately and now I'm like, oh, keep your seatbelt on. Yeah. Like I'm thinking about all the safety stuff now, but for years I flew and was like, didn't think twice about it, but.

Yeah. Wait, so you didn't wear your seatbelt before and now you do? No, I would wear it, but there would be times mid-flight, you know, where I wouldn't think about it. Yeah. Oh, now I'm like, this baby's staying on the whole time. Yeah. It always makes me laugh when you see on, especially like, like sort of smaller European flights, when there's like a drunk belligerent passenger, like a British tourist going to Greece or something, there's always a video where they've

restrained the passenger, but by like duct taping them to a Greece or something. There's always a video where they've restrained the passenger but by like duct taping them to a chair or something. Like they restrain them in their chair. I do like the duct taping people to a chair. I'm not gonna lie, that's pretty funny. Yeah. Is there a lawn mower? Yes, my gardener is...

Stephanie's not mowing the lawn? That's what I mean, is Stephanie is mowing the lawn. I would love if Stephanie were to mow the lawn. And she came in all sweaty, like, what are you doing? Yeah, with like a trucker hat on and she's, it's like one of those lawnmowers that you ride. Oh my gosh. She's like, well, I just finished my morning gardening and lawn mowing. I don't know. We have some pretty butch listeners that do do that.

That mow their own lawn. Oh, yeah. A lot of them. For sure. The height. But I think it's an L.A. thing that a lot of people don't mow their own lawn. Oh, my gosh. We had this neighbor move in that it was so funny because he was clearly either not from the area or I don't know what was going on, but I had not seen anyone mow their own lawn before and he was so out of control with his lawn mower because our yards are flat,

but then they kind of ramp down to the sidewalk, you know? So we're a little bit up. And he had his brand new lawn mower and he would mow it and then he'd go down the hill and he'd lose full control of it and try and pull it back up. And meanwhile, everyone else had their gardeners working on their yards and this guy's like,

whoa, whoa, whoa. And then soon after that, he never mowed his lawn again. That is so. Oh man. For those that don't know, in LA, there's like a bazillion lawn services, like in every neighborhood. It's just part of LA life yeah yeah I've never seen it anywhere I mean yeah back home we always had to mow our own lawns

that was sure and also it wasn't just butchie people my kids are trying to figure out good summer and winter jobs coming up. Oh, business ideas. Lemonade stand. Well, they've done lemonade. In Toronto, in the winter, it's snow shoveling, like shoveling people's driveways. I have such vivid memories of getting up for school in the morning and my poor dad still in his pajamas out scraping snow off the car and scraping the window

with that little guy that gets the ice off. Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack. Well, I was suggesting that they go ask neighbors if they can water their flowers or things like that. I don't know, but they wanna do something for between a dollar and three dollars, They said that's a good per day I I don't know Don't know but they were just talking about it last night

I wonder if I can think of something I need done Neighbors and they're like, hey guys, can you Venmo us five dollars? If I've told you about the And then like, Hey guys, can you Venmo us $5? They're like, why? Just cause. If I've told you about the junk sale that they've done, I don't know just stuff they find in the house or what? Not just stuff they find in the house, but they'll even find an in and out burger, straw wrapper and put that up for sale.

Wow. And our neighbors are so, oh, and then cherry pits, like cherry seeds. Oh my God. They'll just have like ones that they spit out that they put in a baggie. And then they'll just put prices on all of this stuff, like a twig they find.

And our neighbors are so nice. They'll come over and they will buy stuff. They'll be like, wow, so $10 for your cherry seeds. And Finn's like, yeah, that's right. And yeah. And then, and. Your neighbors should haggle. Well, and that's the thing is we told Max and Finn

about haggling or somebody mentioned haggling. And then they came in, they were like, well, that's the thing is we told Max and Finn about haggling or somebody mentioned haggling and then they came in they're like, well, that's haggling. So anyway, it's they've made some pretty good cash off of our neighbors. One neighbor went to get money out of his pocket. And I honestly it was like, Lent or something fell out of his pocket. And then they were like, oh, we could sell this to know. So they have they have like a sense of humor about it, but they really are, you know, jacking those prices up and just selling junk.

And some things they'll draw a picture, they'll put that up for sale and whatever. Now, that was pretty that one I would purchase. We had a competition the other day where all four of us had to draw something. And then Max and Finn put each picture down that all four of us drew. And then they put a cat treat on top of each drawing and then brought the cats over to see who's picture would win the competition. That's so good.

And it's just based on what cat ate the treat off of the, and no cat ate the treat. Just kind of slowly stepped around the drawings and left. Really? They were repulsed by the drawings. They were not good drawings. Sweaters, candles, bathrobes, more candles. Mother's Day gifts can be a little predictable, a little boring. Named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter,

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Absolutely. Today's question asker is a comedian, actor, and singer who became known across the world as a member of the improv TV show, Whose Line Is It Anyway? He's hosted Let's Make a Deal for the last 15 years. He's performed in musicals like Kinky Boots, The Wiz, and Hamilton and is the winner of five Emmy Awards. In addition to two Grammy nominations, he's also a host of the new podcast,

What If with Wayne Brady. Wayne Brady is asking today's question. Hey y'all, what's up? TIG, May, Fortune. Question for you. In the day and age in which we find ourselves with the government that we find ourselves with and the world being what it is, how do you use your art and your sense of humor to help yourself and to help others. That's a nice question. That is a nice question. What do you got for us, May? I don't know what he's referring to with the state of the world.

I think everything's great. The state of the world is so fine right now. Yeah, oh man. I don't know, I mean, I struggle with, there's different ways to approach it, right? Like we on, we're on this podcast, I feel like we're kind of a refuge from all that of just like silliness and, and then, I don't know, some, sometimes I, I mean, you just feel it at shows, don't you? It's like a little microcosm of society. And it's like, it is so unifying and like people feel human and like

we have shared interests. Sometimes I talk directly about things going on in the world. Sometimes. Yeah, done. Like how in depth do you feel like you go into what's going on in the world? I used to do that a lot more. then I felt like oh maybe it's more subversive to not talk about things like identity politics and things like that because it feels like a losing battle because then people go oh they never shut up about that you know what I mean? But then recently with everything going on and I've been talking about it more like when I was

promoting the album I was like I was going on the like like been talking about it more. Like when I was promoting the album, I was like, I was going on the like, like TV shows to promote it. And the questions were often like, why, yeah, why did you write this album or why now like the music album? And the big part of the answer is like, I had top surgery and I don't think I would have been confident enough to do the, I'm like, it felt directly connected. Like I wrote it right after that. And so I was like, fuck, in this time in the world, even though it's so tense,

that felt like important to talk about that if there's is like a, you know, trans agenda that everybody's scared of, it's literally just people trying to be their most confident, happy, creative selves. So I did try not to shy away from that stuff, you know. Mm-hmm. And that's helpful to you and to people that are... I don't know if it's helpful to me. It's stressful. It's scary. Like, it's a hostile environment out there, but it felt important. Yeah. And when you say scary, what is the ultimate fear of, or what have you experienced? Anytime, I mean, people come in for you online,

like pretty constantly. Anytime like, you know, other people's fan bases get mobilized against you, that's intense. And then also, yeah, just these days with the like scary legislation and about what you can say and stuff. And then with the going through immigration from Canada and being like, if you, I don't know, is that going to be a problem? Like that if you Googled me and I was outspoken about something, like it's getting so... Anyway. Right. Yeah.

There's unpredictable times too. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I love it. I was like, well, we're a refuge from that stuff. Yeah. Well, I mean, this is what you're dealing with as a human. Yeah, in general, like, I think comedy is just a really wonderful way to get people's defenses down and then kind of connect people.

But how do you specifically feel like you help? helped and saved and inspired by so many musicians and comedians. But for some reason it's been a harder thing for me to accept when people say that I've done that for them. Because to me, it's like, oh, I'm just talking and sharing what I went through or what I'm seeing and feeling. And I know that's what musicians and people do, but when it's me doing it, it's been hard for me to really grasp

that I've made any sort of impact on anybody because half the time I'm like, oh, that was just something silly or I was just trying to make light of, you know. And I think it was actually during the pandemic that I really realized, wow, yeah, I can see how what I'm doing, what other comedians, what people are doing that really do make a change

in people's life and, but also it's walking that really fine line of like not taking myself too seriously. I don't think I'm like anybody's savior, but it is... so I struggle with that where people are like oh my gosh thank you you saved my life or oh my gosh you changed the... and I'm like oh thank... I'm so glad. And then I think about the people that have changed my life or saved me through their art. It's no joke. Yeah, that's true.

And it's hard to put it onto, I've done that for somebody else. And it's crazy, it's kind of absurd and hard to process that we still live in a time where like, just visibility just is still so limited that like it is meaningful to have someone living a happy, confident life and being themselves and for sure, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And it shouldn't still be that way, but it is. Yeah. And I think when it's just like a part of day to day and this is my job and this is my life. But I, what I'm doing,

I do for myself, whatever I'm sharing, whatever I'm joking about, any story I'm telling or whatever is going on, I'm not doing anything for the audience. I'm doing it solely because I want to share this or I want to talk about it, I'm going through this, I think this is funny, but I think that's most important for it to really translate and land for somebody. And that's when it's nice is when it does resonate with others, but I'm still, I still grapple with accepting that I've made a big impact

on people sometimes. Well, your ultimate sharing of a real life event was the I Have Cancer set from Largo. That was a big one. Yes, for sure. And that was certainly not for the audience. That was really me in the moment struggling. And as time has gone on, I thought,

I think I really was reaching out for help too. When I, you know, I'd lost my mother and my girlfriend and I was really sick and I wanted to talk about it. And I think I was really relying on that audience. Yeah. For a lot and they really did pull me through. This steps up, yeah. Yeah, they really did.

And it's so amazing when I run into some of the people that happen to be in that audience. And oddly enough, the director of the Andrea Gibson documentary, Come See Me in the Good Light. He was in the audience before I knew him. Yeah. Yeah. Wild. What about you, Fortune? Yeah. I mean, kind of like what Tate said, it's

just providing levity is kind of what I see is my job. I don't really get a lot into politics and some people are critical of that. But I've not shied away from things I believe in or speaking out when I think something's wrong. A lot of people know where I stand. I've not hidden that. When I've spoken out for our community and just human rights in general. But there are things that I'm not qualified to talk about. And I don't believe, you know, a lot of people just think, cause you're a celebrity, you should weigh in on everything.

And I don't believe in that. I don't believe in speaking on things I'm ignorant about just because I have a platform, I think that does more harm than good. Um, I would rather speak out on things that I'm qualified or at least have experience with, um, because yeah, I don't want to just like talk to talk because it's not helping. Um, and especially if you don't have facts or information. There's also such, there's so many nuanced elements to so many different topics that it makes it really difficult.

Yeah, because then people are like, well, do you know about this, this, and this? I didn't know. You know what I mean? It's like I just spoke because there's this pressure to do so. I don't believe in that. But what I do is tell stories and try to make people happy. That's what I want to be is providing positivity. Like you can go to other comics who are very well versed on these other big things in the world. And that's who you should listen to for that thing, you know.

If that's what you're looking for as a comedian's point of view about these big issues, then that is where you should go. Yeah, you know, like, I want to hear from this person about that thing. For me, I'm just like... You don't go to the person that's taking care of biscuits. That's right. Thank you, Tig. I'm taking care of biscuits.

Yeah, everyone's doing their thing. Fortune's taking care of biscuits. That's right. So, you know, every tour I go to about a hundred cities. And so I'm not shying away from any red state. I go into all these places that, and I get a lot of fans going, why would you go to such and such city? Why would you go there? Why would you go there?

They need it. They need it. You know, they need representation. They need different voices coming in there. And obviously a lot of people coming to the show know me, so they're already thinking similarly to me. But there are a lot of theaters that people just go because they like that theater or they wanted something fun to do that night. And so I'm telling a story of who I am.

Here's who I am, this is my life, I'm married, you know, and there is power in just sharing your story that makes someone who might have been, say they were afraid of gay people or didn't understand gay people, where they can go, oh, I relate to what that person is saying. Like our lives aren't that different. And it opens up some people's minds, not everyone. Um, and I think there is power in that just sharing your story. I did a show in Nashville during the times where they, they were coming for drag queens, you know, it was this huge thing.

And, you know, I said in the room, I was like, I can't change legislation. I can't come into your city and make any difference with what's happening in the government. What I can do is have a room of 3000 people in this city who you know, is an ally. In this room, you can look left and right and see people who are going to have your back and go out into this city and look out for each other. There's something cool about gathering those spaces of people who aren't agreeing with what's happening in the legislation.

They can go out and try to make a difference. They can get empowered in that room with the energy and love and positivity, and they go out into their community and try to help make those changes. So I'm just trying to provide a space that's positive and happy. And when you're in those rooms,

when you're in these shows, there is this feeling of just like, every theater I do, the people that work there say, I can't explain it. There's something in this room that is so happy and joyful and positive. And they go, I just feel so good tonight. And that's what I want to provide people. And that brings me a lot of joy. That's a powerful type of resistance, especially when the government uses fear tactics so consistently. And it's like, yeah, to push back with just joy and community.

Well, that's like you hear so many times that just showing up is a political statement. And that's it's very true. It's very true. The visibility and. I do sometimes feel like I could do more though and like I should be more organized in my activism and things like that. So I feel like I'm constantly learning as well. And also as the world changes and who knows how things are going to be, like I guess we'll all have to like be constantly learning. I think there's also an unfortunate element to social media where people are saying, you know, like you were saying, Fortune, why aren't you speaking out or you have this platform?

And it's like, social media isn't the only platform there are in person appearances that you make, there are, you know, charity events, there's all sorts of ways that you make, there are charity events, there's all sorts of ways that you use your platform and social media isn't the only platform. And so much of what's going on on social media is the shallow back and forth arguing about these different views. And meanwhile, if you're not on social media

and you're out making appearances, donating your time, money, it's almost like it's fine and you're doing a great job as long as you don't have social media. But if you have social media and you're not directing all of your energy to that platform, then it's as though you're not doing anything if you're not on there arguing back and forth with people.

Yeah, it's a tough it's a very tough balance. Like, like, I know, like, fortune, you were directing people to where they could don't or I think we all were where they could donate for certain things. But it is like, there are people I think who are using a ton of their energy every day, just reposting, resharing, just, and if you directed that energy to some initiative

in the real world, that sometimes would be, but it's tough though, because we also do need, people do get their information from from social media sometimes. It's such a small sect of people though too. There's something not on it that people forget. This isn't the actual world. For sure, that is what blows my mind is I remember somebody, this was years ago

when I was on Facebook, I still have an account but I always say I go on there like once or twice a year to see who died. That's horrible. But anyway, I went on Facebook, like I said, six months, 12 months later, and somebody had posted about somebody else who did something terrible and they were like, if I see anybody is still friends with them on Facebook, I am writing you off in the real world. And I was like, I haven't even been on here.

And it really highlighted that people are so, so neck deep in social media that they don't even realize that some people aren't... I haven't even been on here. And of course I wasn't really worried about this person blackballing me in life, but it just... it was so... I had just thought it was so, kind of so like. Yeah, oh yeah. People have ended friendships over like,

stupid social media stuff. It's like, but it isn't, like May was saying, it is nice to have, one benefit of sharing your art is gaining a platform and being able to use that platform like when there was the hurricane to say, you know Don't it here do this and the fires this person needs help. That is a really cool byproduct to be able to like Mobilize to help other people By the way, the people that were dealing with the hurricanes and the fires are still dealing

with it and still need help. All of that gets so immediately highlighted and talked about and then everybody moves on. So, just remember. Well, I saved everything because I did Celebrity Jeopardy and I got to donate $30,000. Oh, yeah. So I fixed it all. You fixed it.

Well, thank you, Fortune. You're welcome. I always feel like the big thing is voting. If everyone voted, we'd be fine. So it's around elections and stuff. That's when I'm like, we all gotta seriously, because that might make a difference. If someone like when Taylor Swift was like,

not that we're Taylor Swift, but when Taylor Swift was like, vote. I imagine a lot of young people voted because she said that. For sure. So let's pull a Taylor Swift and say, vote. Next time you can. You talk about, you know,

that does require a lot of courage for someone like her. I mean, some people might not think that like, oh, what, who cares? But, you know, it's very divisive these days to say who you're voting for. And she has this huge platform of people that vote and think different ways than that. So for her to speak out is brave. You know, I think about, I've talked about her before, but Natalie Maines with the chicks and what they went through, I didn't know them when that whole controversy happened,

but you know, she was on stage and just said something that in these days would be considered not scandalous at all. And then their entire career was... What did she say again? She told the story about her wife went to Baskin Robbins and they were 31. They were doing a little show in London and just said the war was about, was starting and she's anti-war and just said like, we're ashamed that Bush is from Texas because they're from Texas.

And that was it. And they're, and the entire, like they'd started getting death threats. That's insane. People bulldozing their CDs, radios wouldn't play them anymore. Bulldozing the CDs. Their own, the own country music people making anymore. Full death scene with CDs. The own country music people making fun of them at the award shows. I mean, like tons of death threats, you get security everywhere. So anytime I'm being a real pussy, and I don't want to use that word very often, but if I'm

being a real puss, I do think about her and I'm like, oh, Nellie would be so ashamed. I gotta be stronger. Yeah, we have to. Well, I mean, I don't wanna see anyone bulldozing handsome merch though, but it would kind of amuse me to see someone bulldozing our ponties. I guess I just figure,

don't you use a bulldozer when something's really heavy? Right. Yeah, I don't think you needed a bulldozer to run over a CD. I mean, the same effect can happen with a children's toy truck. Well, friends, should we hear what Wayne Brady has to say? Wayne Brady.

From the podcast, What If. I used to love that, Whose Line Is It Anyway? Did you guys ever watch that? I thought they were gods. They were, they're so quick. I used to love it. Yeah, I haven't watched it in years and years, but. I would love to see slow improv.

Slow improv. When Fortune just said, they're so quick. I was thinking how funny to see very delayed improv. That would be good because you'd have time to think about what you were gonna say. Yeah. I mean, it's not easy. It's not easy how they do what,

they make it look effortless. Well, Wayne Brady, especially with his songs. And his songs, yeah. Yeah, let's hear what he has to say. Well, my answer would be, just trying my absolute best to put some light out there. We do improvisation. We make folks laugh, right?

So my aim is to get on stage, whether it's in front of a few thousand people, a couple people and just bring some light. Because if I can make someone else laugh, then I make myself laugh. And for that day, one day at a time, at least for that day, I've got some hope. And that's what it's all about. A little bit of hope. That's awesome, Wayne. I love hearing Thomas at the end there. That's a beautiful answer though. I feel like he was so articulate.

Well, people are on Instagram too much. It is hard. It is hard though, when your job is to make people laugh and you're having a bad day or going through things yourself. Yeah. There's been some real doozies lately where I've just been in a real funk and having to like dig myself out of this hole

to go and go make people laugh. I love my job more than anything, but God, those have been some trying times. I know, and it's tough because people really forget that you have a personal life, a private life, you have bad days, hard stuff going on, and you are supposed to be the person that they saw on TV or on that stage

no matter when they run into you. You better not be tired, you better not be in the middle of a very important conversation, you better not be having anything going on at home, nothing. Losing a friend out of nowhere, nothing, you know? But the adrenaline of being on stage does focus the mind, that's it and that at least it's it's an exchange like you Yeah thing of being out in the world are having to do like a radio show or something like that is tricky But there's something about being on stage that at least gets you out of your head for a little bit

Yeah, for sure. I know those laughs. It does make you feel like it's like, okay, I needed that. Yeah Yeah, it's so hard to get yourself on the stage. But then when you're there, like, OK, OK, we got this. We're in this together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is crazy how that can snap you out of things. Yeah. So wild. Yeah. Whether you're tired or you're having personal stuff going on

and you get on the stage. What the worst is when you get on the stage, you don't have a great show. It's like, oh my God. What the hell did I just do? Why did I even come? I was already down and now I'm like. I should have never said yes to this.

Well, that was a delightful episode and thank you to Wayne. And yeah, does anybody, Fortune, you got your tour? Yeah, coming up on May 1st, I got Greensboro, North Carolina, Roanoke, Virginia, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Grand Rapids, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Kansas City, Mulvane, Kansas, Vegas, Knoxville, Tennessee, and Lexington, Kentucky. Lots more cities too. So fortunefeeamster.com for tickets.

Beautiful. I got April 25th at Largo in LA and then just check out my social media after everything we said today. Check out my social media after everything we said today. Check out my social media. May lives on there. Yeah, for other shows that pop up. And you can watch Feel Good on Netflix if you haven't or stream my music.

If you want to feel good, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, for me, June 14th, I'll be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and then I will be in P-Town August 23rd. And if you haven't watched my new stand-up special that's newish, about a year old, hello again on Prime Video. And then I'm also working out new material in Los Angeles at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter, sometimes in Toronto.

Go to tignotaro.com for all the information. And also, if you like this episode or any other episode, share it with a friend and help us build the Handsome community. Subscribe to the show, subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can see our handsome faces. To all that. And yeah, until next time.

Keep it handsome. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast! That was a hate gun podcast.

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