Happy Sad Confused - Beanie Feldstein

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

Beanie Feldstein may have practically been born singing and dancing but her latest work in "American Crime Story: Impeachment" shows off a much different side of the talent actress. Beanie joins Josh to discuss the responsibility of play Monica Lewinsky, why "Bridesmaids" makes her so emotional, and how she's preparing for a Broadway performance of a lifetime. Don't forget to check out the Happy Sad Confused patreon here! We've got exclusive episodes of GAME NIGHT, video versions of the podcast, and more! For all of your media headlines remember to subscribe to The Wakeup newsletter here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Fear, I have to make them afraid. He's got a motorcycle. Get after him or have you shot. What do you mean blow up the building? From this moment on, none of you are safe. New episodes every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, true crime fans. Tired of ads interrupting your gripping investigations? Good news.

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and her comfort movie, Bridesmaids. Hey, guys, Josh Horowitz here with another edition of Happy, Sad, Confused. Welcome aboard, as always, guys. A fun show today, Beanie Feldstein. a delight. You can't, you can't not love Beanie Feldstein. You know her, of course, from her work in Booksmart and Lady Bird on Broadway and Hello Dolly. She has accomplished so much in, frankly, a really short period of time. She's only been acting

professionally in film and TV for the last five years. But, man, she has, she has accomplished a lot and there's a lot more exciting stuff to come, including the new American Crime Story series from Ryan Murphy impeachment. This, of course, tells the story of Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp and Monica's, you know, relationship at the time with President Bill Clinton and all the, all the sordidness of that period. And it's fascinating. I've seen the first five episodes of this show to see a kind of this from a different perspective.

You know, I lived through that time and I remember how Monica was really vilified and made out to be the enemy and to realize that there's, a lot more nuance to this story and really nobody gets out unscathed in this in this in story it's a it's an exceptional piece of work from both beanie but also the great sarah paulson who plays linda triv clive owen as bill clinton edie falcos hillary i mean the cast is is just bananas so definitely check this out if for no other reason to see a different side of beanie Felstein. Beanie has been somebody that I've been talking to right from the start. I didn't even realize this, but apparently I think I did the first, like, official interview with Beanie when I visited

the set of Neighbors 2. That was her first film. We reminisce about that. And we reminisce about just like everything that's come in between, whether it's, you know, being in films about female friendships in different capacities like Lady Bird and Book Smart or in loving on films about female friendships, like her comfort movie choice, the great bridesmaids. Surprise that nobody had picked that film just yet, but I'm grateful and happy that Beanie chose it because it's an excellent pick and one definitely worth revisiting. So this conversation with Beanie is fantastic and it's really, you know, she's thoughtful and smart and interesting.

Of course, you probably know she happens to be Jonah Hill's sister and clearly they share a great intellect and passion. for the arts, and it's great to see it sort of manifest in a different way. Jonah is a totally different, unique individual, but to see all the commonality that they share is exciting and inspiring, and I feel really privileged to know them both, so this was a great chat. Other things to mention outside of the main event podcast today, well, Shang-chi is, of course, out in theaters. It's making a gazillion dollars. I'm so happy to see that. If you're able to see it safely, go see it because it's a great piece of work and it's, you know, the launching pad of a new

Marvel hero and a new, more importantly, a new great actor in Simu Leo, a great movie star, really. It's a movie star performance. And got a chance to talk to Simu. That conversation in two aspects is available for you. I did kind of a straight ahead, fun, but semi-serious chat, I guess, for MTV News. That's on MTV News's YouTube page. And then I had some fun. with him and Aquafina for Comedy Central, and that's also available on Comedy Central's YouTube page. I've put them out on my social media, so if you've missed it, just go back on Twitter or Instagram, and you'll be able to check it out. Let's see, other things to mention. Oh, there's some fun Comedy Central stuff coming up with Kristen Bell and Kirby Howell Baptiste.

They are in the new film Queen Pins. Did some fun kind of games and shenanigans with them for Comedy Central. That should be out very, very soon. And you're going to have to wait a little while for this one, but I'll tease it because it's happened. I got a chance to catch up with Mr. Timothy Chalamey and Zendaya. Yes, they are, of course, starring in Dune. A little film I've only been borderline obsessed about for years. So, yes, I have seen Dune. Yes, I have a lot to say about dude and yes there's a fun great conversation with timmy and zandaya coming at you a little bit closer to release so patience it's coming it will be worth the wait i promise you guys um all right that's the that's the main tease for now oh a new game night by the way coming up next week

on the patreon page with uh some new folks to game night some new charming gentlemen coming to game night. I'm very excited about this one. You will very much enjoy it. As always, you can check that out. As all, you can check out all the old game nights and video versions of Happy, Sad Confused on our Patreon page. It's patreon.com slash happy, sad confused. Okay, let's get to the main event. We taped this on the new year, on Russia Shana, appropriate, the juieist podcast in the land, Horowitz and Feldstein. Here we go. Here's me and being. Beanie, welcome to the podcast, long overdue. We've chatted so many times, but this is the deep dive.

This is where the tears come. This is where introspection happens. It's happening. It's all happening. Congratulations on everything. A lot to discuss today. Happy New Year as we tape this. Lashana Tobit.

I mean, this is meant to be. I wish I had my apples and my honey, but they're sadly in there. Yeah, exactly. I'm a couple hours away from dipping mine as well. But yeah, it's a it's a big day. This is also the day as we tape this that the show debuts. How are you feeling just generally right now? I think it feels completely and utterly surreal. I mean, I know it's a common word, but it really, it sums it up, man. It sums it up. It feels surreal. You know, I first found out that I would be playing the role in a part of the production. in June 2019, I was 25. I'm 28 now. So it's been a really long time. And we also filmed the entirety of the show during the depths of the pandemic. And now of a sudden the sun is shining. I'm in New York and the show's coming out. It feels, I didn't know if we'd ever see this day.

So it feels like. Well, and not to mention that, so I ran into you a few, just a few weeks ago, when, wait, can I still hear you? Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Sorry. So, yeah. So not to mention that I ran into you just a few weeks ago. They debuted just a portion of the show for some of us here in New York.

And I learned that you were actually still shooting it. So this is like, did you finish shooting like three days ago? This is also an odd circumstance. It's, I mean, look, if this is the craziest thing that happened, I mean, we're in a global pandemic. Right. All bets are off on crazy stuff. Yeah, exactly.

As best we can. We're lucky that everyone's safe and happy, not the most important thing. But we didn't finish till two weeks ago. So we shot for 10 full months, 170 shooting days, which the longest film I'd ever shot, I think, was 40 days. So it was completely new territory for me. And yeah, we were filming up until people were already seeing it, you know, certain people, as you said, by the time we were. still very much filming the 10th, so it was crazy. That's a weird circumstance where people are,

I mean, I imagine people aren't necessarily giving you like feedback, but like at the same time you are hearing some kind of like reviews of a nature and you're like, wait, I'm still making it. Should I be adjusting according to what I'm hearing or is it too late? And by then you've decided what this character is, how you're approaching it. You can't change what you're doing. Totally. I think, you know, I think some shows, network shows have been on a long time

are very used to that dynamic. But for me coming from mostly theater and films, I was new to TV in general, let alone that kind of, it's very unique for a series of our nature to be. Yes. So I haven't contextualized that I'm going to lose my job immediately. Unfortunately, I employ myself on the podcast so nobody can fire me. But we were, of course, talking about American crime story impeachment and this remarkable story, you know, ripped from history in which BD plays. is, of course, Monica Lewinsky, you know, when I think of you as a performer, I feel like you're a joyous performer. You take so much joy and happiness in what you do. And the nature of this

role, and you kind of intimated this already, the nature, I mean, it's a long shoot. It's an intense kind of character going through a lot of really, you know, upsetting circumstances. Were you able to take, quote, unquote, joy in this process, or was it a different kind of a joy or satisfaction? Well, first of all, that is very kind, and it means a great deal to me that you would say that. That is, yes, I think that, you know, in many ways where Monica and I were very similar as far as, like, our upbringings, and that we both grow Jewish, West Side, L.A. doing, like, musical theater at our local high school and, like, community theaters. But the other thing that I think we really share intrinsically is kind of this gregarious. a love of people a monica was always described then and i can attest now as well that she lights

up a room like she had this inner energy that would just shine to lay on whoever was around her and so in that way the beginning of the story before monica meets any of the other major players we were very similar in that way of like our demeanor and the way that we relate to people and we're very people loving, we're very outgoing and extroverted. So when Monica was in that space, it was incredibly kind of natural and very intrinsic and very joyful. You know, she's in a place at the beginning of, not necessarily actually in the first episode, but chronologically in 1995 when she comes to D.C.

She graduated from college in Portland a month before she comes to D.C. So she's in that moment where I think any of us that are old enough to know that feeling, like completely understand you're, you've just graduated college and who are you in the world? You know, you know who you are within the institution of home and family in school, but who are you as an adult in the world for the first time? And it's that really exciting, nerve-wracking kind of like bubbly, delicious spot in your life where you're becoming an adult in truth for the first time. And so that. connected tissue was very easy and it was also very joyful and then it was sort of the unraveling of that feeling that you kind of um watch monica go through obviously under very specific specific circumstances throughout the show um and she does experience a lot of pain betrayal trauma um and those were very new for me to explore on screen, but the, the beginning, Monica, the 1995 kind of exuberant, thoughtful, smart, you know, all of those attributes. He comes into her internship, into her internship possessing. I felt like we're very joyful and very kind of natural. It's funny, because

like I've talked to so many actors that have worked with Ryan Murphy, and he's obviously the one that instigates this project and brings it to you. And they love Ryan, like to a man. Everybody just, like, adores Ryan. And I think I get why in a number of respects. And one of them that occurs to me in that, like, for instance, like Sarah Paulson's work with Ryan, like who but Ryan has shown, has given her the opportunity to show so many different sides of what she can do.

I mean, you only need to look, honestly, I mean, she's not so much more. But like, the work she's done with Ryan alone is like the spectrum of action. acting. And similarly for you, you know, we've never seen you in, you just kind of alluded to, like these kind of like, especially these darker portions as she kind of like gets, you know, embroiled in this. It must be so invigorating and inspiring for you as an actor when someone like Ryan Murphy calls you up and says, I want to see you do something you haven't done in a project of this nature. Yes, you nailed it. You, you get it. But it was, it was, it was exactly. that. It was, you know, all I ever want in my working life and in my personal life, too, is to be challenged, kind of what's the next thing? What's the next story or character that it's going to make me raise my own states and raise my own game and pushed me outside my comfort zone and whether it's a shift in medium or a shift in genre or a type of story I've never told before. That's what you always look for. Is that like, you don't want to be too comfortable

because then you're not growing and you're not learning. So when Ryan called me and said, do you want to play Monica Lewinsky and be a producer on the project, it was like handing that delicious kind of otherworldly challenge because it was something that I remember there was a moment when we were filming a sequence that is actually the very opening sequence of the show

and then we returned to that moment in the sixth episode, which is when Linda had led Monica to the mall to be taken by the FBI into the calendar with the office of independent counsel, and we were filming a shot of me and Sarah and Brian and Craig, who are two FBI agents, in the elevator. And I remember looking at her, I looked at Fallson, who has become, I mean, deeper than family to me at this point. It's like older sister, younger sister. She's like one of the great loves in my life. And I looked at her and I was like, I'm in a, this is, this is a drama.

Right. And she was like, hello. And I'm like, no, I know it is because of all the, I mean, of course, just naturally it is a drama. And then through all my research, I found the research really painful and difficult to do a time because it was so heavy and dark and upsetting to me as a young. woman reading about what happened to Monica and, and the enravelling of her friendship and all the other dynamics that play in the show. So of course I knew, but it, it was kind of for the first time that it struck me in the day-to-day moment of the acting of being on set, that I was like, I've genuinely never done this before. I never done this before. And the, um, the death and

the pain and the intense humanity of what Monica had to go through specifically in that episode, but also beyond it and before it. That was, it was kind of jaw-dropping to me. I just couldn't quite believe, even growing up, some musicals are very emotional and very dark and dramatic, but I didn't even often do those musicals. Like, I was doing mostly comedy and then I did our town and the Laramie project and I did class of place but always in a school setting right always even then people would be like outside your comfort zone me and I feel like I get it okay um and it was interesting because it actually it it was incredibly challenging in so many ways but also um felt really beautiful and it was such a um powerful experience for me to get to portray one of the other you know very unique aspects of a production like this and i know you've talked about it a lot but it's something that i'm sure is important to you is that you even told me when i ran into you that you view yourself as kind of monica's bodyguard to a certain extent she's a producer on this as well

and for me you know watching the i've watched the first five episodes and the to watch and reevaluate um just how she was treated and how she was vilified and and at the center of this madness back then is just fascinating and And I think anyone my age will feel like complicit, like, did we laugh at the monologue jokes? Did we like, you know, it's kind of, it's really disturbing in many aspects. But for you, having this unique opportunity to not only play her, but to have access to her and to form this kind of bond with her, I mean, talk to me a little bit about how that, like, relationship has evolved. Like, what is the nature of the relationship like, let me pick your brain about this? Or is it more, more, less specific in terms of how.

you guys work together. It's the second one. It's the second one for sure. I think people understand we have this vision of me calling her before every scene and like Monica, tell me this time of this. Also, you have to remember, again, this is someone's life and this is someone's trauma. So I didn't really think that it was, it didn't feel, it didn't feel needed for me to call her and say, can you, can you just relive that trauma for me really quickly over the phone, that's not. To me a solid and go to this darkest period in your life and tell me what you're feeling. Yeah.

He always says that like she watches the show from two different perspectives. One is producerially and one is like as a subject. And she's like as a subject, it's we're incredibly difficult. And as a producer, I'm incredibly proud. And both of those things can be true at the same time. But for me, I did, before I even got to meet Monica, so Ryan called me in June 2019. And then I didn't meet Monica until March 2020. So in those, you know, nine months, I did an intense, deep time amount of research.

Our wonderful researcher on the show gave each of us like a Dropbox that had all the information you could need, all the text that we would need, all the transcripts or the depositions, every video in that Dropbox till two weeks ago was my best friend in the world. And so I had read everything. I'd listened to the tapes, which I count to be a very emotionally, fence and intense experience. And so by the time I met Monica, I felt so deeply understanding of what she had gone through, through my research and through reading the incredible scripts by Sarah Burgess, who I think is just such a genius. And so by the time I met her, I just,

it was more important for me that she understood who I was as a person and where my heart lies and where my intentions lie and that she could trust me, you know, because I can only imagine someone that has been through what she's been through that she might not trust people very easily. And I think, you know, she, I just wanted her to know that I had her back. As you said, I felt very protective of her. Like I was, like I'm her bodyguard, her little, like, five foot one Jewish one card.

And so it was more, it was more loose or, or honestly cozy. It was just, I just wanted her to feel comfortable with me. And for it to feel like a reciprocated relationship, because I also could imagine if someone had studied me for nine months and then came in with like a pen and paper, it would feel like, can I get to know you to? You know, like, I'm a same person that would be like,

tell me about you just so it feels a little bit even on both sides. But I wanted details. I wanted details that I couldn't find in books and that word on the tapes and I had never heard her talk about. So like a lot of the photos were in black and white, like, what nail polish color were you wearing at the time?

Like in the first scene, Monica orders coffee, so I'm like, we've got to get that coffee order, right? Her best friend, Catherine, features in the show. First of all, I wanted to know more about their dynamic that was kind of off the page or I couldn't find in detail. But then also, like, do you call her cat?

Do you call her Kathy? Do you call her cat? Like these specific things that even i remember once texting her like did you did this grandma give you this necklace or did the other like was it your dad's side of you know just little details like that that really make a human being feel human and not like a bundle of bullet points or research you know you want to so it was but again i i really did not think it was necessary i understood what my job was i didn't think it was necessary to make her have to relive those experiences with me before every scene it would just be, it's 170 days. It would have been too much. Um, so yeah, there were, there were weeks

where we would text off and there would be weeks where I'd both be off doing our own things. And then I'd text her and be like, so did you call this grandma a puppy or a buckle? I can't remember when you, and she'd be like, you know, weigh in. But she was very involved with the script. She gave a lot of notes on the scripts. So by the time the scripts reached me, I knew that specifically about Monica, when Monica appears on the page, that it had been, you know, felt an honest and true to what Monica herself went through. So yeah, I think that was a deeply long way to the answer to.

No, no, no. It's all very, very fascinating, and I think people will be curious to hear about it. One aspect that I'm curious to hear about is, you know, my sense is from our past conversations and following each other on social media, we share a lot of the same politics. and it's a complicated relationship, I feel like a lot of people have with, like, the Clintons.

And when you take on a project like this, like the likelihood of, this is a superficial kind of like the least of your words in some respects, but like the likelihood of you being friends now with Chelsea Clinton or Hillary Clinton have probably gone down significantly thanks to your participation in this project. They're probably not anxious to see this dramatized and who knows if they'll ever watch it. Is that even a consideration like I in some ways admire what these folks have done politically and I don't, I feel shitty about kind of dredging it up for them and knowing that they're going to hate it in a way. I think that, you know, I think if you look, as you said, we follow each other on social media, I campaigned for Hillary Clinton. I voted very openly and actively get a campaign for Hillary.

And I also simultaneously think that what happened to Monica and Linda Tripp and Paula Jones, not just singularly Monica, but all three of the women, in the 90s, the treatment that they experienced by our society through the media was so misogynistic and so dehumanizing and a caricature of a person lacked. all humanity. And I think that those things can be true at the same time. Right. I believe in complexity. I believe in things not being black or white or this or that, but there being a lot of, you know, I feel like the greatest thing about human beings is that we're mushy and we're messy and we're complicated and that we can exist in multitudes, you know? And I think the fact that I

campaigned and voted for Hillary is something that I'm very proud of and the fact that I'm playing Monica Lewinsky and giving her story back to the world is something that I'm very proud of. And both of those things can be true at the same time. Yeah. I want to take this opportunity since we do have some time to take a step back and kind of look at where you're at and where you've come from. Because, you know, it's only been a few short years since you've been doing this professionally. But it's been exciting to kind of see you and talk to you at these very exciting kind of points of my first interview ever. I think. Maybe. That was on, so we were on the set. Definitely first onset interview for sure. Well, I'm honored that I was in.

in the right place at the right time. So that was on the set of neighbors, too. And I'm curious in a few respects. Like on that front, that was your first film, I believe, right? My first, an innerist, for sure. Right. So, you, I mean, you waited, though. Like, you graduated college.

You, like, despite, like, everything I know about you is, like, you practically came out of the womb, like, ready to, like, sing and dance and entertain. Yeah, totally. So you were lucky enough to have that certitude, yet you didn't pursue it professionally prior to then. Even having an older brother who succeeded and seen that path, I'm just curious, like your mindset of like why you waited.

That was clearly a decision. It was. It was totally decision. And I remember being, I went to Wesleyan University in Connecticut. I loved it, an insane amount. But I remember getting very emotional, surprisingly, on graduation day, when I held, well, you don't really hold your diploma until like a few weeks later, but you hold the case, right? And walking across and hearing my name and my family being there, and I remember getting emotional because I wasn't sure it would come.

And it mattered a lot to me. So to answer your question, I'm, I love to act. I love to sing. I love to dance. And I also really love school. And I'm a very academic person. And I think my relationship, with academics kind of, I've been flowed throughout my childhood. I wasn't always, I didn't always believe in myself as an academic because I was such a performer. It was sometimes like, oh, well, I don't have time to do this because I'm doing X, Y, and I'm taking dance and I'm taking singing and I'm performing. And, okay, it's okay, you know, my essay isn't as good because, look, I'm performing in this show. This is, I'm talking school theater, community theater. I'm not talking like Broadway. But I think sometimes when you're going up and you have such an intense passion, that passion can be put, up against school, almost like you have to choose.

And whether it's sports or whatever it is, you know, for me, it was performing. But I think sometimes it's like an either or a situation. And I subscribe to that ideology a lot growing up of like, well, if I'm a performer, it's okay if I don't value school. But there was always this voice in the back of my head that was like, you really love school. And you've always been an academic person. And you need to honor that side of yourself.

So by the end of call, excuse me, by the end of high school, I started to kind of believe in myself again as an academic person. And I just had a real kind of heart to heart with myself. And I was like, you know, I could go to a drama school. I could easily get a BFA. That was something that I knew was within my reach as far as getting into some BFA program somewhere. But I wanted to honor that academic side of myself. Right.

And finally give her, I think, the kind of, time and commitment that I never did always growing up. So I decided to go to a school with amazing arts with an incredible art scene and student-run theater and every kind of, I mean, like the dance, the music, everything at Wesleyan is, it's just like brimming with artistic energy. But I really wanted to put my scholar head on and be an academic person for a while. and I almost transferred to a school in the city. I almost transferred to Barnard only because I wanted to be closer to acting opportunities.

And I said, I again, and I'm heart-to-heart number two. And I was like, no, stay. You love it here. Stay. You know, just do this. It'll all work out. Just commit yourself to this. And look, I'm so someone that believes that every person has their own path.

Like, some people in my family are super academic and others are arguably just as smart, if not way smarter, but just never succeeded in the classroom setting and didn't go to college and, like, who gives a, like, I don't care at all. But for me, that setting was something that I craved. And so I was like, acting will be there, which was a hard decision to make because I look super young, so I could have played like 14, 15 when I was 18, and I could have auditioned for all these roles that are, you know, when you're old enough and you're not to go to school and all this. There were so many people saying, like, just do it. Just go for it now. But I really wanted to

value that side of myself that needed to see something through in a way that I had a noise. And I'm so grateful to Wesleyan, and I'm so, I'm really proud of my younger self for kind of committing to that. And it's, yeah, I got emotional when I got my degree because I was like, wow, I could have quit so many times. Oh, my God. It's such an unusual path for a young person nowadays where I feel like there's so much impatience to like, when do I get mine, when do I, especially in your field, like, when do I? And certainly this wasn't your aspiration, but when do I get famous? When do I get the likes? When do I get the adulation? And it's really telling that you were able to kind of like stave that off and stay true to a different part of yourself for as long as you did.

It's like that, um, I've received back to my studies, but my social scientist in me, but that a video of the kids with the marshmallows that are like, if you've ever seen it, it's all about delayed gratification. And it's like, they put marshmallows in front of kids. And they're like, if you don't touch it or eat it, if when I come back in 20 minutes, you can have two. But if you eat it now, you can't have another run. And it's all like a study and delayed gratification. So, yeah, I, like, sat on my hands and didn't eat the marshmallow right away. Good for you. I would have eaten in the marshmallow, the stick, the hand it was attached to.

I'm not that, I'm not that strong. I'm curious, like, okay, so we've talked before and we've alluded to today. Obviously, your interest in musical theater and song and dance, jazz hands, etc. But, like, when I asked you for a comfort movie, you gave a few different choices, and we pinpointed one that I want you to dive a little bit deep on today. but none of them are musicals, although I guess, well, one of them has a big musical aspect to it, but talk to me a little bit. First, talk to me a little bit about who you were. Did you have an eclectic love of pop culture, or were you, like, as a teenager, like, all about music,

musical theater, or did you kind of love it all? I would say I was, like, a pretty classic theater geek. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, sitting home and watching broadway.com like opening night videos and like that was my schick and yeah you know

Jonah and I always joke because he's like you're so not a cinephile and I'm like but ask me anything about Sondheim like just different I'm really not a Sinephile I feel like I'm learning so much more about being on camera and making movies and now making television

in my 20s, but growing up, I had such a singular focus, and it was musical theater and Broadway. So, yeah, that was like my deep, intense fandom. So the ones, let's first mention just the runners-up, just to give them a little love. I think one previous guest that cited maybe Matilda. I'm not sure. No, I talked to, you know who I talked to recently?

I talked to Daisy Ridley, who was also obsessed with Matilda, and I surprised her with, now I'm breaking on the actress's name, the amazing actress. Mara Wilson. Mara Wilson, yes. And it blew Daisy's mind. I surprised her with that. You also mentioned, I mentioned a musical bent,

you mentioned School of Rock, the great Richard Linklater film with Jack Black, et cetera, fantastic, all-worthy choices. But the one that we're going to talk about a little bit is a great one that I'm surprised hasn't come up yet. They send me the list of everyone that's been on the show recently, and I was like scanning and looking for it. and no one chose it. So I was like, I got it. So what's your pick and tell us a little bit

in brief, just why it's such a comfort really for you? Well, I would say it's my everything movie comfortfully one of the terms I would put to it. But like, I did say the words earlier today. It changed my life. And I believe that it did, which is bridesmaids. Anyone that has ever talked to me for about four minutes would know that it's one of the great love that I have. I think that, well, comforting in the sense that the aspect of it that's so comforting is the honest, true depiction of female friendships, which obviously is something that I'm very committed to in my work and more importantly in my life, but just the rapport and the comfort and the the chemistry between Maya and Kristen, and all of them, really, but centrally, those two.

It just is so comforting. It feels like looking into a future version of me and several of my friends, you know? But that movie came out, well, most movies come out on Fridays, but the Thursday midnight showing, I went with Ben, my best friend, Ben, Platt, and then all of our other high school friends, Max, Anna, Nick, all of us. And we went at midnight and it was the last week of high school that it came out. And I literally have never, like to this day, there are a few movie-going experiences that I've had that have ever even come close because I laugh so hard. I literally slid off my chair like into the popcorn that was on the floor. But also I got that feeling that people talk about

of like feeling seen, right? The hero in the whole time never felt seen like that in my whole life. And it was interesting because I was watching in preparation for our discussion today. I was watching some clips. Well, it's also just comforting to me, right? So I'm watching some books

and on YouTube, there was a a suggested video. I couldn't think of that term. There was a suggested video for Melissa McCarthy and Rose Byrne, a junket interview that they gave when the show was coming, the movie was coming out. And I clicked on it, because I hadn't seen it before, which was rare for me.

And the first question asked was, I think it's a British reporter, was like, so we hear this movie is like the female version of the hangover. And I could not believe my ears. And I think, I think that it was such a perfect way for me to like, situated in the history of comedy but also help explain

why it means so much to me because little did I would little did I know at the time little what I have ever known that I would eventually be in a movie like Booksmart where understandably because of who my brother is the first question out of everyone's mouth

was like we hear this as the female super bad but it was crazy to me that bridesmaids got that treatment And I think it just goes to show, like, for a young woman that at that point didn't even want to be in movies. Like, I just wanted to be on Broadway, but that wanted to make people laugh, that made her friends laugh, whose friends made her laugh, was just a young girl growing up with best friends and that relationship being like the funniest part of her life or those friendships. it just was so moving, it was so moving to see so many different types of women and that are funny in all different ways. It wasn't like the movie is doing one thing comedically. It's doing so many different things. And I will tell you the infamous story, my infamous bridesmaid story in my family,

which is that the Oscar nominations that year were announced. And my mom called me and she was like, can you believe the news? And I was hysterically crying and I said, because Melissa McCarthy is not a lady for pride spades and she goes, no, because your brother's not for people.

And I was like, that too, that too. I mean, yeah, yeah, that's, yeah. Amazing. Personally, his nomination mattered. But for my, my career

like as far as inspiration goes for being recognized for that type of role was something and for the script to be recognized like it was beyond my wildest dreams

I was like people care people actually care and and I want to celebrate this movie and that meant everything

so that's my long-winded answer No, I mean, please, all that is brilliant and wonderful. And it really does resonate, even though it's obviously not, I don't have the same, like, connection. I do, I've had that experience just watching, frankly, you know, secondhand other people's stories told on the screen for the first time. I mean, I remember in a totally different weird way, like, when I saw Wonder Woman, and I see like the opening sequence and I'm like, why am I like tearing up? It's like, oh, I've never seen this kind of an action scene, photograph. this way. And it really is inspiring in recent years. Like a lot of it is frankly, I think of the way my head is oriented is in these kind of blockbusters, which I love, but like you think

of Black Panther recently, Shang Chi and whatever. And it's just something really beautiful about seeing people for the first time getting a chance to see their, their lives in some way depicted. And it's, it's incredibly important. It's incredibly important. And also, like, it's such, it's such connected tissue. Like, that movie is what bonded me in Sertia when we first met. Right. So we would quote it to each other literally all

day every day on when we were filming a lady, but like it just becomes this, there's not a young person I know that identifies as female or non-binary that doesn't feel like they want to talk

about that movie or quote that movie, you know, like back and forth. It just is such an easy, delicious way to make someone laugh. So what's it like for you now in the years since and relatively few short years since? Like I think of something, certainly a lot of great moments from BookSmart, but also even like Lady Bird, you just mentioned, like, you know, the, it's the titular role is that quotable line now for kids. It's been memed and quoted probably every minute of every day. It must be really surreal to go back to our original word to be a part of that now.

Completely. I mean, Kristen Wig was at the premiere of Booksmart and Caitlin and I like grabbed not even each other's hands like full arms.

Like we were like this called the fireman's link I don't even know what it's called. We were like grasping each other and like physically shaking and we were like one of us has to go up to her. One of us has to go together.

Okay. And we were like shaking and we like tapped down the shoulder and she was like, girls and like gave us the biggest but it was every i mean it was literally everything to us um but yeah the titular role thing makes me laugh so hard i could never and it also just goes to show you because i remember being so nervous that day that we film that scene it was the third or fourth day of shooting i left feeling like i didn't do bread of proud i didn't do sersia proud i was like

i could have done better and you know so everything that we are is and i think everyone that loves what they do and cares about what they do is always going to be self-critical, but I was like, I could have done better and what if I didn't do enough and what if she didn't have, you know, she doesn't have what she needs, and then that's the scene that becomes like, you know, the scene everyone always shodd me about. So you never know. And we sometimes don't know ourselves at all.

Can't see, you know, outside ourselves. But Greta's a genius. That line is so funny. But yeah, it's surreal and it's bizarre, but it's fun. I understand. I think it's funny too. So much exciting stuff going on for you. Beyond, of course, this series, you've got what I know to be a very significant Broadway role for you, to say the least. The role you were practically born to play, you've been performing this in some fashion for 25 years or so. Funny girl? Yeah. You're prepped. You're ready. Well, my three-year-old self certainly thought she was ready. My 28-year-old self is like, you have a lot of work to do. But, yeah, I actually, yeah, I actually kind of, I don't know if I purposely didn't give you a comfort musical, but I feel like for me, listening to soundtracks is more of like the way I feel comforted my musicals, less watching the movie versions for some reason.

But when I was growing up, the way that my friends would beg to watch Elmo or The Little Mermaid or, you know, eating the beast or whatever. I would just say Fannie Bryce on repeat to my mom as every two to half year old. And I begged my mom to make the theme of my birthday party, Funny Girl, which, you know, even most of the adults didn't understand that at the party. But yeah, that's just who I was. As you said, I was very singularly focused from a very young age. but I also had nodules on my vocal cords as a kid so I and I never thought I'd ever be a singer because I could barely speak

so that part of it was a later discovery but I am yeah it's it's talk about surreal like it's it's Annie Bryce and it hasn't been on Broadway since 1964 with Robert Shaizan. So it's beyond my wildest... It'll be a trip. Yeah, it's beyond everything. But we haven't started yet. They haven't, you know,

created the company of actors who are going to... I get to be with every night, the joy. But, you know, doing Hello Dolly was... You started this conversation by talking about joy. It was like taking... Like, if someone could put Joy... into a bottle and then just chucking it every night. Like it was the most joyful, special experience

and those people are still some of the closest people in the world to me were that company and that crew. And Broadway is a very, very, very special experience. And as an audience member, I'm just so grateful that the theaters are opening again and that people get to be back in the theater, you know, completely separate from Funny Roller or from even being a performer myself.

as a fan, my original role. I'm just so excited and I'm so happy. I think it's so restorative. And I think theater is so, as you said, whether it's healing because it's showing a, you know, much like Monica Lewinsky's story,

like showing a very untold story that needs to be told, or on the flip side, something that's nothing but joy and celebration and togetherness and community. I just think Broadway's like a, It's healing. It's so healing. It's healing for me to be in the audience. So I'm so glad I get to go back. You know, having gotten to know your brother as well, obviously over the years, I know him to be an extraordinarily creative person in many respects, not just acting, but in writing and directing, et cetera.

I see that you've written a bit. Like I read some of your essays. I mean, a very, I mean, like a very moving one about, you know, your brother. which, I mean, strikes me, like, you don't have to do something like that. That's something that, like, is a brave, like, you know, things to share with others. And I guess in the hopes of, you know, explaining that we all deal with grief in profound ways. But, I mean, talk to me. Is writing therapeutic for you? Do you find writing joyful in a different way than acting? Or is it a different kind of a love or what?

Totally. I think I love mostly nonfiction writing. Like, that is what I kind of essay. and kind of academic leading essays sometimes is more kind of my, my goal would be to write something that is very sociologically driven, but made palatable through like human experience. And, you know, I think I've written about bodies and I've written about feminism, but that one that you were referencing was obviously the most difficult. But I think just like with any type of storytelling, it can make you feel less alone to read something that resonates and that feels profound.

And specifically with grief, it can be such a lonely feeling, you know, experience. You feel like you're kind of walking through a world that no one understands. So writing that was really clarifying for me. and then I took the, you know, sort of jump and put it out. And it's been really beautiful to hear people's responses. Yeah, I love to write. I think more in the way that I was saying than screenwriting as of now, that's not really something that I've gone into.

But I also feel like, you know, you can't really work with Greta Garik and Olivia Wilde and not be inspired. Sure. And you can't really be Joan's sister and not be inspired. So all of that leads me to believe that someday I will do something along those lines. But, you know, all of them actually say that being an actor is like the best film school you could possibly go to and that we get the privilege of being on everyone's set

and get to experience. You know, now I have Ryan Murphy to add to the list and Stephen Carrum and all of these incredible directors that I keep just getting to be a part of Rachel Morrison directed some of them impeachment. And, you know, it's been so wonderful. to just experience new people and be on different sets. But that's, I'm still in film school, if that makes sense. You're accumulating knowledge.

No, I got you. Yeah. I'm still kind of adding more people and more experiences to my learning. But I'm sure, you know, again, you can't not be inspired by those experiences. Well, I mean, you know, one of the most exciting aspects as a wrap us up is that you are just getting started. And that this is just phase one. And, you know, and something like this. you know, impeachment just represents another jump, another leap, another exciting new side of you

to show off. And you do an amazing job in this, as does. I mean, we haven't even, you know, loved on Sarah Paulson, but that could be another whole hour, which she doesn't need it. Any longer than 45 minutes to go down that path. No, I'm with you. 16 hours to even skim the surface of my love. But she's a revelation on the show. And she's doing something so outside the realm of, it's such a ridiculously inspiring performance to have gotten to witness, be crafted. It's sort of, I'm always like, I can't handle you and you just need to go away because it's too much. It's too much and I'm done. So you're going to have to leave because it's too much good and we're just going to need to move away. Because it's like you separate

even just like the acting talent and the prowess out, she also just happens to be funny and charming and smart and cool. And it's like, and then you're also one of the great actors on the planet. So this is just annoying. Yeah, it's just like how, I don't know if I'm allowed to curse on this. You can hear, it's fine.

How being lucky am I that I, I mean, like just every, I think, you know, every project that I've done, it feels like a master class, but the real human greatness of it is that I've left with a new family member. And that to me is, is greater than any artistic understanding I could have come to, that that Paulson is my family now, that is the greatest gift of it all.

So there you go. Well, congratulations again. Happy New Year to you. Happy Premier Day for impeachment. And I'm glad that we have you back in town. And hopefully you have a bit of a break before you start to tackle this event of a lifetime that you've been preparing for. I can't wait to see you on a stage

with a big audience safely. It's good to see you as always, buddy. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. And so ends another edition of happy, sad, confused. Remember to review, rate, and subscribe to this show on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm a big podcast person. I'm Daisy Ridley, and I definitely wasn't pleasure to do this by Josh. The Old West is an iconic period of American history and full of legendary figures whose names still resonate today. Like Jesse James, Billy the Kid, and Butch and Sundance, Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, and Geronimo, Wyatt Earp, Batmasterson, and Bass Reeves, Buffalo Bill Cody, Wild Bill Hickok, the Texas Rangers, and many more. Hear all their stories on The Legends of the Old West podcast. We'll take you to Tombstone, Deadwood, and Don John.

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