Happy Sad Confused - Rob Riggle

Episode Date: August 17, 2014

Rob Riggle stops by Josh’s office to talk about “Let’s Be Cops”, mixing it up with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, and what his recurring nightmares mean. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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or go to explorevolvo.com. Don't miss Swiped, a new movie inspired by the provocative real-life story of the visionary founder of online dating platform Bumble. Played by Lily James, Swiped introduces recent college grad Whitney Wolfe as she uses grit and ingenuity to break into the male-dominated tech industry to become the youngest female self-made billionaire. An official selection of the Toronto International Film Festival, the Hulu original film Swiped, is now streaming only on Disney Plus. Oh, hi there. Thanks for clicking the play button. Welcome to Happy Sack Infused. I'm Josh Horowitz. Welcome to the latest podcast by me. This week's guest, yeah, there's no preamble.

What is there to say besides this week's guest is the awesome comedy gold that is Rob Riggle. He's even got a name that sounds like he should be funny. And he is. Rob Wrigal is a guy you've seen in dozens of films. He is prolific, he is dependable, and he's awesome. He stars in the new film Let's Be Cops, which is now out in theaters, but he has done so much more than that, and we talk about his stints on Daily Show and SNL

and his collaborations with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. He is one of the good guys, and someone just needs to get this guy a leading role. We talk about that a little bit. Rob, as I said, is kind of like the indispensable comedy support system in so many films, and you know he's going to get his shot to be the leading guy one day, and I hope it comes in a project that lets him show all that he can do, because he's awesome. He's great.

He's at the top of the improv food chain, and you'll, I know, enjoy this conversation with Rob. As always, guys, hit me up on Twitter, Joshua Horowitz, use the hashtag Happy Say I Confused. And for the love of God, people, spread the word, rate the show, review the show, tell your friends, tell your mother. Does your mother listen to podcasts? Well, she should, and the first one should be Happy, Say, Confused. Hope you guys enjoy this one. Here he is, Rob Riggle.

This is all happening. This is the end I hear. This is, you're about to leave. you're on your way to the that's right that's right well first we're gonna go party and then we're gonna have that in the schedule is it literally say we always we always allow a little time for that by the way this is happening the podcast is rolling oh we're on now that was on the that was on the record that's said you're partying I most certainly did not I said we are parting we are leaving we are parting way I did not we'd know we were recording that's are we still fine leave it to

the people well I'm just telling you now it was we are parting I don't want to start on a difficult notes. Let's just move on. It's always good to see you, Rob. It's good to see you, too. You're promoting a very fun new movie, obviously, Let's Be Cops. Thank you, yeah, yeah. It's taken you to some interesting places

on the publicity tour. Yeah, we got to see a lot of America this summer. You get to throw out pitches everywhere you go now? When you walk into a stadium, do you now expect to throw out the first pitch? A little bit. I'll be honest, a little bit.

And when I don't throw it out, I'm a little insulted. Kind of ruins the night for me. Do you just storm the field now? Well, I pout. I just pout. I just sit there and, you know, Did you see that home run? I'm like, whatever.

Do you feel like Jeff Bridger stole your thunder by doing his bowling thing? Did you see what he did? Oh, Lobowski style. Yeah. I thought that was fabulous. That was so good. Yeah. That's a genius move.

And I got to tell you, because we, you know, I've thrown the pitch out a couple times and I've done it with friends. And it's one of those things where you're like, do we do something crazy? You know, should we throw it into the stands? Should we, you know, something? And it always comes back to. No, just do it right. Just do it like you're supposed to. And I don't know why, but you get real,

and it's because 50,000 people want to see you, screw up. But you, unlike many actors or filmmakers, whoever gets the honor of doing this, is an athlete. So you're confident in your ability to actually get it to home plate or close to home plate,

as opposed to someone like 50 cent, who is an athlete, I would argue too. He could kill me, but throws it straight into the dirt. Yeah, I don't understand that throw. I saw it. And by the way, don't think that every single person I saw before I threw out a pitch said don't 50 send it man don't it's well yeah it's become

verb don't 50 send it and I'm like I got it but um yeah the you know it's like I was saying that I think all 50,000 people that watch you throw out that pitch if you throw a good one they're like yeah whatever let's start the game right but they're if you if you screw it up oh they're ready they're ready to pounce they're ready to pounce so I yeah Bridges did it right he bolded out there and you know that was a good move um i want to go go down memory lane with you this is one of those incidents this is self-serving because this is more about me than you lay it down but um when i think of you rob for good or for bad i think of one of the the the low points of my career oh god oh god and it has nothing to do with you you were an innocent bystander i don't even know

if you remembered this you probably don't but at movie awards MTV movie awards a couple years ago it was like three or four years ago we were live it was backstage With Fastbender With Michael Fastbender And you ask him about his penis I do remember this I do that was you I didn't remember that was you

It was me Okay so for context I've never talked about this publicly And for the record by the way Michael was on the podcast last week So things are good now Okay good Okay good

Because I know he was Well go ahead I'll let you tell the story So for the record Michael obviously was in shame And there were a lot of jokes at the time about his penis which was a fair game

he seemed to roll with it at the time and by the time movie awards came around what was unbeknownst to me frankly was he was clearly sick of them and had moved on and I get it totally but I didn't know that Rob I didn't know that so I made like the last literally like the last penis joke

ever to his face yes I think that you were the last one you were the door closing on the penis jokes and we had had some really good times like Fastman and I had actually had I thought some good interviews prior to that in that moment I just saw his face fall and you were just caught in the cross-off? Well, I, because

I didn't understand what was going on. I don't think I had seen the movie and I just thought it was this very unusual question about his penis. And I thought, wow, that's an unusual salvo to send out as one of your questions. I'm not the improv artist, you are. I tried to jump in. Didn't I try to jump in and make light of it? You did. You did your best. Because he gave me the look like

get me out of you. I'm done with this. You know. And so I think I jumped in and I tried to, maybe I'm totally wrong in making this up, but I feel like I jumped in there and said something about, oh, we don't want to talk about that, we don't talk about this, something like that, yeah. Some way of like, Olae, look over here.

Shiny keys, shiny keys, you know. So, yeah, I do remember that was. What happened right after, though? Because I went away. Did he say, I'm going to kick the shit out of that guy? No, not at all. He actually, he laughed it off. We had a couple drinks.

He was good to go. He was very loose that night. Yeah, so, no, it was all good. It was all good. He needs to get that out of my system because it has been haunting me. I feel better now. Thank you. You should absolutely, he forgot about it within two minutes.

Not even, maybe even 60 seconds. He was like, all right, moving on. That was really the only reason I wanted you. And you can leave now if you want. This was therapy for you, wasn't it? This was a, that's all this podcast. This was a reconciliation of your own soul. Holy cow.

You flew me all the way in to New York to reconcile your own. I get it. Actually, I get it. There's been many a night's when I would like to go talk to the people. Totally. Talk to some people and be like, look, I need to tell you something. Let's concentrate on the positive. Again, the film is really funny, and it's interesting because, you know, you, in a relatively short period of time in the last, like, 10 years or whatever, where you've really been, you know, cranking out some great character roles and comedies, you've kind of like, there's the Rob Riggle type, I would argue.

What do you think the Rob Riggle type is? What would we define that? Well, the Rob Riggle character type. Right. Because I like to think, I'm pretty far away in real life of my characters. I think I'm a pretty nice guy, I hope. But my characters are pretty brash. They're loud.

They're large and in charge and kind of wrongheaded. But that's the comedy game that I like to play the most is arrogant ignorance, you know. Which is also like arguably the feral comedy game too. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, there's a lot. He does that too. He does that a lot. And the reason I think we do it is because as an audience member, to me, that's the most

fascinating guy to watch. Yeah. When someone like that comes on screen, I always want to watch him because I find that. hilarious yeah so I gravitate towards that and I like to play that and I tend to do it pretty well so I keep getting offers to do things like that so is it exciting when you break out of the dupe bag box for let's be cops absolutely that's one of the that's why I took the role also I took the role because I love Jake and Damon I wanted to work with them so it was just so easy and they were like well it's more of a you know straight sincere role

I was like that's please give it that's what I want yeah so I was very happy to do it and it's interesting I think people People will be, I've had people come up to me that have seen the movie and say, I kept waiting for their, you know, for you to say something terrible or, you know, for the other shoe to drop. And it didn't. And they were, they were, now maybe they were just putting the shine on me. I don't know. They said they were pleasantly surprised and entertained. And they don't know what to expect the next go around. Now you've totally thrown them for a loop. That's right. Now I'm like a ghost, man. I'm like a shadow in the night. They'll never see me coming. Right now. You should know, as he was saying that he started to take off his clothes, which I don't understand. Why would you do that? Let me do this. Let me take off my clothes. Let me finish the job. Let me sit here and interview me naked. This is actually therapy for me, too. The only way you feel comfortable. That's right.

You don't do these on the late night talk shows. No, I do not. But that's why I'm here. That's my podcast. To be fair, it is hot in here. You should get a camera for this podcast so the people could see what's going on. This is amazing. I mean, it's a good body, but I just get these off.

There we go. Oh, my God. What is that? I've never seen one of, okay. What? You've never seen an angel tattoo by a penis? It's an actual angel from it's a wonderful wife. It's a Clarence.

It's so specific. Yeah, it's very specific. Weird. Most people don't get that overweight Irishman angel. Did you just keep going through the book? Nope, I'm waiting. I can find something better. Something better.

That's the one. That's the one. And the artist was like, the old Clarence. I've been waiting to do this one for years. Do you have any tattoos? No. I just never got around to it. I'm dragging on my back.

Do you? How shocking would that? Oh, if you did, it would be the best. And if it had the wings, like, what are those? That's Pete's dragon. It's from the cartoon. Oh, a little, okay. That's a little cartoony.

Makes more sense. I just thought maybe if you flex, the wings would. Okay. Or like the Red Dragon tattoo. Do you remember that? Ray Fines, this haunts me too. This is all about the things that have haunted me over the ears. He has that weird, like, creepy tattoo because, you know, he's like the serial killer in it.

He's turning into a dragon, remember? Oh, no. I need to see more movies. I don't get out enough. CBR rate is up. That's right. One day. One day.

So what is the, is there a general criteria for like, because you're really prolific. You work a lot at scenes. I try to. I try to work hard. I try to, you know, any opportunity I get, I try to make the most of it. That's it. You know, so. And if I do a good job, then I usually get another job.

So that's my mentality. You know, go out there, do the best you can with what you're given. And then if you do it. right you'll get another chance and you'll get another chance and then maybe one of these days uh i'll get to lead in a film have you done the leading role no no not not people thank you uh and it's so funny too because people are very sweet and they come up and they go you ought to you ought to have your own movie man i'm like yes yes i would love that hold on a second why didn't i think of that i hope i'm happy to be over here yeah i mean it is a good gig no don't get me wrong and if this is what

i if i never lead i'll i'll still be a very happy man because I enjoy what I do. So it's not about that, per se. But would I like an opportunity to try? Sure, anybody would want an opportunity to try. But if I keep working, and that's all that matters. I'm happy doing that. So have you, I'm sure you have thought about this a lot,

but what is the path? Is it generating your own script that? I think so. I think the only people who ever get anything made for them in Hollywood are like top of the A list. There's like 10 actors, and that includes men and women, that they come in and they go here's your script

here's the director here's the producer it's all for you anybody else you're out there hooking and jabbing you're out there scraping for whatever you can get

so yeah I think for me it's always been that way you got to create because even the characters I get there's not a whole lot on the page

I generally come in there and improvise a lot and add myself to it and usually it fills out the character a little bit more and then I think people count on them that they count on me to come in and improvise and then that adds a little more pressure yeah

you know but um that's fine i've got many ideas i'm working on things and uh so i'll build my own ship and see if we can sail it i mean do you see a difference between actors that have been able to segue i mean like is there difference between like what will and jack black etc Zach Alfenakis and how they hold the screen as a quote leading performer versus people that have made their their career in character roles? Is there a difference in your mind or is it just simply opportunity? It's opportunity. Yeah. I don't see because all those guys are great character actors too. You know, they're they're comedians. You know, they can they can and what a lot of people don't realize is a lot of these comedians could be wonderful dramatic actors. Totally. You know, because they

they do have a very sincere side if they can get out of their own way and allow people to see that. Usually comedy is a defense mechanism because you don't want to let anybody in or see that side of you. But if you can get past that, the comedians that I've seen

go out there and unfortunately late Robin Williams comes to mind, they become the most amazing and captivating dramatic actors you'll ever see. So, yeah, I think it's about opportunity. Yeah, yeah.

I think it's also something to be said about just like those performers we just mentioned and the three I mentioned and Robin. I mean, their comic personas, it's all about like vulnerability and just letting it all hang out. And then from a dramatic side, it's the same challenge. It's just a different side. That's right. That's right. It's a different kind of scary. Yeah.

It's all scary. It's just a different kind of scary. Do you remember the first time you did improv and was it scary? Yeah, it was terrifying. It was terrifying. It was, gosh, 1997. I was down at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. I took a class.

It was my first class, Ian Roberts, who is the show runner for Key and Peele right now and one of the original Upright Citizens Brigade members, was my teacher. We went in, I sat in the back, I was like, this is a mistake. You know, I was just nervous and scared, and I knew I wanted to do it,

but I just didn't have the balls to do it. I just was terrified because I'd never really done anything like that. And he goes, all right, we're just going to jump in. We're just going to start doing scene work because I could sit here and talk to you're talking about theory and I could do

we're just going to you're the only way you're ever going to learn is to get up and do right so let's go you two get up and do a scene you two get up and do a scene give them a suggestion

and I remember I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and I didn't go and he goes all right who hasn't gone and everybody had gone and finally I was I raised my hand

he goes all right you and there was one other person Donna Feinglass who is a wonderful comedian and it was Donna and I and we got up there and somebody said I don't know what it was tent or camping or something was the suggestion and we did the scene and she it turns out she was almost just like I think she's a very funny wonderful lady and she is and we we did the scene that killed it just went great it just went and we knew how to play with each other and we

just kind of and we hit it all and it went great and then that gave me just enough of a spark of confidence to come back. True story. So that was class one. Class two, I took a cab all the way down. It was 14th and 6th, the old Dick Shea studios. I took a cab down there. I got out of the cab and I stood in front of Dick Shea's and I chickened out. I said, nah, screw this. It's not good. It's not good. I don't feel right. I'm tired. I'm, you know what? I think I'm a little sick. I'm a little sick. So I got in a cab. I went all the way back to my apartment. I got back to my apartment and I got so mad at my I was like, you big pussy, what is your fucking problem? Did you come to New York City to sit in your apartment, or did you come here to do this?

And I had to have a pep talk with myself. I had to have a little fight with myself. So then I go, okay, goddamn, but I'm going. And then I went back out, got a cat, went all the way back down. It was very expensive. Oh, my God. It was like, it was a $60 day. But I went back down, and I went up to class, and I did it.

And it was the best decision I ever made because I could have talked myself out of it very easily. Does fear ever enter into it at this point? Or is it, I mean, because sometimes it's not going in the right direction. It can go down the wrong path. Failure is always a part of it. It's a part of any equation, whether it's business, whether it's comedy, whether it's sports, whether no matter what you do, failure is always going to be out there. And you will fail.

It's just how do you respond to that failure? Right. Do you let it beat you? Do you give up? Do you say, all right, that's it. No. You know, you learn. You get back out and you try it again.

You take your lumps. You know, I've eaten shit many a time. And you just get up and try again and you figure out what works and what doesn't. And you don't quit. When did you hook up with like Shear and Hewbel for that troop? What part of your career was that? That was early. It was very early.

I mean, that would have been probably around 99, 98, I think. Yeah. That was some years still before Human Giant, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. that was I mean human giant didn't come around until like 2004 2005 um because I got I was on SNL I got SNL in 2004 and those guys went on because I probably would have I hope I would have been part of human giant if I hadn't got it but we they went on and did human giant which was just one of the best sketch shows ever um the matter of fact I was saying I think the last time I was

in this building was when human giant took over yeah yeah the studio yeah so and I think I was playing uh security guard here Cliff Carver, Cliff Carver. Like the security guy here. There was some genius sketch. I mean, Shutterbugs still. Oh, Shutterbugs was the best. Yeah.

It was the time travel sketched with Paul where he's trying to get crystal Pepsi. I love the one too where one of my papers is where Hübel cuts off his penis, you know, to get attention on media or whatever. And then the other guy did something that was not, or Aziz did something that wasn't quite that big of a deal and got way more attention. It was just so funny. They had such great sketches. Those guys are the best. We started a troop called Respecto Montalban, and we still play together today. So it's been 15 years, you know, and we still play together today.

So in that time frame when you get the SNL opportunity and they're going in a different direction, I mean, there's something unique, I guess, about that where, you know, you have a core group of guys and women sometimes obviously who are, you know, respect each other, encourage each other and I don't know is there competition too is there is it a communal spirit one like okay Rob got this going yeah they've got their thing yeah oh yeah there there's look everybody wants to succeed so it's not a matter of that everybody wants you know to fulfill their dreams of of becoming a good actor and a great comedian and you know everybody wants to do that but the competition that's not the mindset I don't think I think when you come up through improv, competition is probably the mindset when you come up through stand-up.

Right. But when you come up through improv, you really, your mindset is one of ensemble and serving the comedy more than serving yourself. Right. So if that means I'm the straight guy, I'm the straight guy. If that means I'm a barking dog in this scene, then I'm a barking dog in this scene. The weirdest coolest barking doll you've ever heard. It would be amazing.

But, you know, it's all about serving the comedy. And then you get this great community going where we work together and we grind it. out and we go to auditions and we put on shows and we write sketches and we you know we do 1 a.m. improv jams for nine drunks but we do it and and uh it's wonderful because you do get happy when one of you makes it or when one of you gets a break or when one of you gets a big gig or something um because it it doesn't it never ever made me jealous it never made me go oh screw that guy right i'm more talented than he is it never hit me that way it always hit me hey if he can do it I can do it too

if he just got a big break then it's just a matter of time before I'll get mine you know so then it just it always inspired me and I think everybody kind of had that mentality when you when you got S&L did it feel like this is like I'm set is that yeah that was very stupid because I honestly I was so naive the first gig I ever got was SNL which was I held it on such high esteem it was a you know it was a lifelong dream and then all of a sudden I'm on the show I'm on the cast it and it was the first job i ever got i was so naive i thought i'm done suck it everybody stand by because i'm about to bust out i'm bust about bust out some messinnell and then some movies and then forget about it i'll

buy my own a bad opening um speech to make to your fellow cast members oh nice to meet you too yeah well i think that's how i started uh and then you know and then i'm going to buy an island that's how it's going to be and what i didn't realize and now obviously i do is there's no finish line in show business man there's there's there's there's one gig and then when that gig is done you got to get another gig and all you can do is hope that you get a good gig the one that you enjoy one that you can be proud of and then do your best while you're there and then eventually it's going to end even if you kill it even if you're the best cast member s&L ever had it'll be over in eight years yeah it'll be over and then you're going to move on and then what are you going to do well you got to find

another job and then you got to find another job it's all about just keep working I was very naive when you think I'm done I'll landed it boom game over there's no game over how soon did that that turn at SNL in terms of when you realized when they fired me I think that's when they're saying when they said we no longer require your services here yes you're free to you're free to pursue other opportunities then it hit you oh you know what maybe this is going to work out you know I when I got the called that they weren't going to extend my contract for the second year because they never they always call you personally with good information you know and then they fax you the bad information i don't even know i had a fax which you right yeah they faxed my agent and uh i gave myself

a good 15 minute pity party and then i realize well i got you know i got to do so i got to go i got to get back to work so you know you you you don't have much time to sit there and lament you just got to go out and find another job and uh i think i did i went and i rob huble and i uh we got a deal with nbc we wrote him a script to pilot um it didn't go but you know like that helped a lot and then uh and then about i don't know nine months later i got on um daily show so did you in that time period um again this is something i've talked about with was sheer and i frankly can't remember did you did you ever do anything for mackenro the show back then yeah well i started to but it was right It happened right as S&L.

That's what I thought. You know, I worked at McEnroe back. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that was like my first, like, talk show comedy game.

Okay, okay. And I remember, I feel like I remember seeing you like Meredith Walker. Yes, absolutely. And we, I started, and I remember I went to like two meetings and, but it was just about the time.

It was that summer right when I got SNL. Oh, you missed the, you dodged the bullet there because that show. Well, I talked, I heard, I heard about it. Yeah, I heard about it from Shear and Hughes and those guys, but, What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? As you say, just keep on going to go? Just find a new gig. So was Daily Show, it's so starting to me to look at like Daily Show, which seems like such a specific skill set in a way in a very particular kind of destination for comedians or standups or improv people. And yet the people that have come out of it and have had such varied careers, whether it's Colbert who's killing it as a kind of a talk show host or Corell, obviously, or

you. Did you see it as that? Like this is a stepping stone or this is the thing? at the time. No, you never, I don't, I don't think you can do that and be effective. You can't do the job you're doing, thinking about what, what the payoff is going to be, if there is even going to be a payoff. Because honestly, if I would have gone there and not done well, that would have been

bad. So honestly, when I got there, my focus was, I want to be the best correspondent I can possibly be. And I had to figure out a lot, you know, I'd never, it sounds silly and sounds rudimentary now. but working off a teleprompter. Right. I'd never worked off a teleprompter, ever. Wait, did you not know how to read?

Well, I mean, define code for-define read. Like, do you understand? Like fifth grade level? Oh, yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, of course. Okay. Never mind, sorry. I'm sorry, I even brought up.

No, but what I didn't realize was the faster you read, the faster they scroll. Right. So then I figured they're going faster. I got to read faster. It was like the snowball going down a hill. It was out of control, and, and I wasn't comfort. I wasn't myself, so I wasn't my best self.

So I would go in during the day when the studio was empty and I would get the stage manager and the person who ran the teleprompter and we would, I would practice, old ones. I would just practice, practice, practice, practice. And I got better in studio. And the field work was fine because it was improv. Right. You know, and you're dealing with people in the moment.

You're reacting to what they say. You're coming up with strings of logic that are, crazy and you're doing all kinds so that was you know that was fine but you know oddly enough and and it turns out like the field stuff

is the hardest stuff for most people and the studio stuff is the easiest stuff I was a little backwards right when I started and then at the end you know it got better the um you've obviously participated in a bunch of the the Will Ferrell Adam McKay films and I've been on one or two of those sets

and there's nothing like it to see what Adam does on literally like I've seen him on a bullhorn just shouting That's why he's the best. So that's why he's the best. So he's literally, I mean, obviously there's a ton of improv, but it's also a lot of McKay kind of prompting. Oh, yeah, because he's so, he's, he's a genius writer. He's a genius comedian, uh, and a genius director, but he is such a great comedian. I think people underestimate his improv talents.

So yeah, it's like having a, uh, in the scene, like having another comedian right there in your brain because he will, he'll bark out, you know, he'll say some great thing. some string or a thought or an angle of hitting it and you know i have to laugh sometimes before i can even before i can even try to project what he's saying um and then the greatest joy in life too is when you come up with something that makes will and adam laugh because then you feel like part of the team then you feel like oh okay i'm a contributor too i can do this you know like they like that um so that always made you feel awesome what's what's the craziest suggestion that you can recall that Adam ever threw it here.

God. I don't know, but I'm sure. I'm sure there's, we did a heart when the original PAL scene was a heart attack scene or and that was we made that heart attack up. All that was made up. It's on the DVD but during that course we were throwing out all kinds of bizarre stuff and

so I'm yeah, I'm sure there were some killer suggestions in there. You've got a bunch of cool projects coming up I want to mention one. It's kind of like a weird kind of Monty Python reunion in a way this film that Terry just directed it. Have you already shot your... We already shot, yeah, we already shot. And they wrapped, I think, you know,

back in the beginning of, back early May. Is that a huge thrill to be, were you around? Oh my gosh, it was the thrill of a lifetime to work with Terry Jones. He wrote and direct, he's right, he wrote this and he's directing it. And he couldn't have been more pleasant and kind

to me. I show up and first day of shooting, he's like come over to my house for dinner and i was like yeah okay terry jones you bet the guy i've idolized and watched for years and has such a comedy IQ it's ridiculous yes i will come to dinner with you and except your invitation exactly and we he goes well meet me at the pub so we met at the pub that's close to his house and we sat there and he's he's like a sommonier for uh but for ale for beers yeah so he knows he you know he we sat there and drank these ails which have no carbonation in him so you don't get quite the headache you can normally get from a regular beer

the little things i'm learning thanks for the good tip for the audience that's good thanks rob and so i was drinking this ale and he would explain everything to me and we would talk about the comedy we'd talk about the movie and it was just it was like a dream come true getting to sit and talk to someone like of like him who's just amazing and then we went back to his house and we had wonderful dinner and i would see him on set and then working with simon peg who i love and think i have i hold him very high comedy esteem and he was a lovely man uh kate beckinsale lovely woman um i just worked with great fun people and then got to spend and that wasn't the only time we did that i we did it multiple times uh where i'd go over to and have beers and drinks with and dinner with with terry and

so yeah that was that was definitely a thrill of one of the thrills of my life uh in our last remaining moments for no discernible reason i have a indiana jones fedora that i fill with random questions over here yep would you like to pick one or two uh may Yeah, well, thanks for you seem genuinely interested. These are, I'm sorry, what are these again? These are random questions. The good ones I've written, the bad ones, some other person just probably dropped them in. Well, here's number one.

Okay, shall we? I don't need to rank them. I mean, the first one, not like the best one. Yes, my first celebrity crush was Linda Carter. Wonder Woman. How could it not be? That's a no-brainer. It came immediately to mind.

She was flat out beautiful. Wow. You just went to another place. What just happened? Well. Why are you taking your clothes off again? Getting a little shaky. I was in love with her.

I probably still am. If she walked in her right now, I'd get all... She's working here right now. I get all sweaty. Yeah. Yeah, she was definitely, definitely without a question. She was gorgeous. Yeah.

And then, of course, the angels were up there. In that vein, I think of like a, what was it, Erin Gray from Buck Rogers? Buck Rogers. Well, that God, can I say it? That goddamn suit she was. had on was ludicrous. It was absurd. It was skin tight. It was skin tight.

Yeah, no one had a crush on her. It just got awkward. Two dudes talking about. Aaron Gray's skin tightly attarned. Wow. Let's class it up. Okay, class it up. Here we go. I'm going to go deep into the... Here we go.

He's not reaching into the hat anymore. I don't know where his hand does. The worst nightmare I ever had was... Oh, this is good. Worst nightmare I ever had. For real? Yeah. Like,

do you have recurring nightmares? Do you have? You know, the, and I, I would love to know why, but I've had, I've had this dream that I've, I've had it a couple times, enough that I sometimes still think it's real. But I, I'm always find myself in school running around, and I haven't gone to class all, uh, semester. Even a truant. And I keep thinking, I haven't gone.

and how am I going to pass and I haven't gone to this class that I needed to go to and yet it's finals day and I'm almost afraid to go into the classroom because I don't want the teacher to see because she's going to know and I've had that a couple times

what does that mean I'm sure that's an easy one to decipher not for me, not for the small mind but what's interesting thing to me about that is I would guess that you were you were a larger guy in school you were probably not the one that was like

when you see me I feel like it's inevitable you're going to hit me You're going to beat me up. Oh, you got that wrong, my friend. Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, I didn't hit puberty till late in life. I was, I think where I got my comedy from was because I spent my junior high years,

my middle school years running for my life because I was pre-pubescent. While all my friends went through puberty and had mustaches and became men, I stayed the same height as I was in the sixth grade. So basically everybody went and grew, and I stayed a runt. And the only thing that saved my life was my mouth and my sensitive. humor. And it kept him at bay until my sophomore year. Okay. Don't yell. I have to yell because it upsets me. I think we just found the root cause of your nightmare. You're still that little boy who is

scared of the guys with the mustaches that are taller than you. Oh my God. This is deep. Rob? I got a long flight home. I got to tell you. I got a lot to think about. I got a lot to think about. I think that's where we should end this today. We've solved all your problems, Rob. Congratulations on Let's Be Cops. And it's always good to see you, buddy. Good to see you too, man. Hey, Michael. Hey, Tom. You want to tell him? Or you want me to tell him?

No, no, no. I got this. People out there. People. Lean in. Get close. Get close. Listen.

Here's the deal. We have big news. We got monumental news. We got snack. Packular news. Yeah. After a brief hiatus, my good friend, Michael Leon Black, and I are.

coming back. My good friend, Tom Kavanaugh, and I are coming back to do what we do best. What we were put on this earth to do. To pick a snack. To eat a snack. And to rate a snack. Neutifically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Mates is back. Mike and Tom eat snacks. Is back. A podcast for anyone with a mouth. With a mouth. Available wherever you get your podcasts.