HardLore - HauntLore: Salem Witch Hunt (With Kurt Ballou)

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

HAUNTLORE returns with the second installment of the spooky spinoff. This team Colin and Bo explore Salem, the witchiest place in the world. They start their journey off by chatting with Kurt Ballou of Converge/Godcity Studio, a longtime Salem local who guides them to various witch hotspots in town. Follow Kurt: @godcitymusic Follow HardLore: @hardlorepod @colinyovng @bosxe   HardLore: A Knotfest Series, Fueled by Monster Energy Edited by Steven Grise • Title sequence by Nicholas Marzluf Join the HARDLORE PATREON to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes. Join the HARDLORE DISCORD for community discussions and to participate in our future Q&A episodes. FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER, SPOTIFY, APPLE FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER   For sponsorship opportunities, email us! [e-mail] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

So Colin's going to be here at any minute, and we're going to talk about what we're going to do. We're in Boston at our hotel. Got in last night. Not sure what we're going to do today. We're going to try to do some more Hot Lord stuff and try to do some, you know, check up maybe Salem. Flew out of the Home Alone 2 terminal. Slept like a baby here at the something. What hotel were we up?

Oh, speak of the dumb. You get your mic up here. How'd you sleep? It's not like a damn baby. Good. My room is incredible. What are we thinking today? I don't know.

I have a seat. All right. Got this little meeting table, I figured. You ready to smack my witch up or what? Yeah. Do you want to do Salem? I think we have to. Is that, that's kind of the obvious one?

Yeah. It's the scariest place on Earth, Time Magazine. Did you do some research and that's what it was? I would think so. How far was it from here? 40 minutes. Spirit's already awakening. Okay, so we're there.

Here's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Kurt Ballou Converge. God City's in Salem. That's in Salem. So we could talk to Kurt, get some insight on what it's like to be a local, run a business out of Salem. If he's seen anything, hurt or anything, knows anything. Battles. Battles.

You know, we'll take his wrecks. Have you ever been to Salem? Never been. I've never been to either. And from what I have seen, there's, like, a lot of stuff. So I think we should be able to kind of walk around and get plenty But finding a local Yeah

Is kind of the priority Yeah I got like 50 bucks to spare, you know Like exactly Some some guy to Or gal Or gal Or gal

Anyone really So true Because Lord knows the witch trials didn't discriminate How was your flight Sucked a dick What do you think? What did you take? American

I mean it was again Like, no internet. It's bullshit, man. My internet worked great. I had America. All right. See you there. Give your key.

We're live in Salem, Massachusetts. We're going to talk to Kurt Ballou from Converge today in God City Studios, and he's going to tell us where the ghouls and goblins and specters exist in what Time Magazine has called, scariest fucking place on earth. Exact quote. I'm ready. Are you ready? fucking freezing. Oh my god. Look, witches. It's very scary. We came off season. Yeah,

because the specters aren't expecting us. It's December. Everything here's closed. The tourists are gone. Only the ghosts remain. The nightmare gallery monster museum. Yeah, this is awesome. Yeah, it is awesome actually. It's a shit. It's a cool town. It is a cool town. There's a lot of witchies walking around. There's a magic parlor. This is where people were burned at the stake, and now, look, CVS. We walk amongst the echoes of lives. Very well said, Owen. Thanks, I just made that up.

Do we tuck this away, so it's not so... Wonderful. Do you want us to on TV, bro? Do you want to scream? Travel channel's going to come calling. We've got to be ready. Zach Begans is going to see this. Do we make this the beginning, or do we do we do an intro before we're talking to Kurt?

Better to have more than not enough. So I say, do the intro. And then we can cut it if we'd get a different intro. So do a blast off for me there, Papa. You're going to get there, Papa. I'm going to transform. You're not going to recognize me. All right, ready?

Sean. Welcome back to haunt lore, stories from tour. What's up, Bo? Hey, man. Are you scared yet? I'm good. You're about to be. We're live in Salem, Massachusetts, at God City Studios

with legendary recording engineer and local resident, Kurt Balloo. spooky scary Kurt, how are you doing? I'm well, how are you? It's good to see you. How are you holding up as a resident of Time Magazine's scariest place in the world? I feel great now that Halloween season is over.

We heard. I'm scared of tourists. We heard on the way here that it was a little rough this year. Honestly, last year was worse. Okay. Just witchy women everywhere? What up, weatch? You know, I was done a bunch of work with Chelsea Wolf

And she was telling me one time That she was walking around in Salem And somebody drove by in a car And she went, witch! To her, and she thought it was like the greatest thing I was like. When she was here, it took one of the coolest pictures ever Of like a stiletto on a pedal.

I remember that one, yeah. Amazing. Long sort of good pedal. Yeah, John, Jog Schneider from Electronic Audio Experiments As a local and amazing pedal designer And yeah, I think she still uses that thing. How long have you been in this building? I've been here since 2003. Technically, December 31st, 2002.

Wow. We're coming up on this is the 20-year-old. Yeah, yeah, yes. So now in almost 20 years, have you ever had an experience? Well, so this studio has a steam heat system, and so the pipes are really loud, and so bands are constantly spooked out, and I have a very creaky floor. So bands are always spooked out, and you'll, like, walk somewhere, and then, like, 20s. minutes later the floor will settle like a little nail move so it's it always sounds like something's going on here there's also a mysterious patch of

concrete in the basement where it looks like maybe some the bodies are about six feet long six feet deep yes well I don't know how deep it is but it's a human shaped it's an exact like a like a like a gingerbread man like I'm just kidding but yeah when I when I moved in here there was well two things that interesting things happened when I moved in so I when I moved in so I when I When I bought the building, I had to gut the whole building. I built an apartment upstairs, and it's just a studio here. And one of the windows upstairs had a bullet hole in it.

And also, like, when I was doing the construction, I don't know. Like a musket bullet? Yeah, a musket bullet. Old-timey. Yeah, old-timey musket bullet. Old town. But, yeah, when I was doing construction before I had, like, air conditioning and stuff, I had, you know, all the doors, all the windows open just to get some airflow.

And so, like, the townies would stop by periodically and be like, oh yeah I used to go to this here when back to what was a sub shop and you know share anecdotes of the different because it's a hundred year old building so it's been a whole bunch of things over the years and there was one time where

somebody stopped by it was like yeah shame about what happened here huh and I was like what do you mean and they're like oh never mind and just took off and like I like chased them down and couldn't get the story out of them as to what happened here because there's probably a three year

after three years you don't have to disclose it to who you're at least in California somebody dies and something you're selling a renting you don't have to tell them after three years yeah I have I mean I have no idea I guess if I really wanted to find out I could go to the library and look through the microfiche of the old what do you mean what are you doing later today um do you remember the brown chicken murders do you remember that no remember brown's chickens no brown's chicken was like a kfc pop-eye's kind of place They had like a green with yellow logo with like a bird on it.

And someone went in, robbed the place, one near Chicago, in the Chicagoland area. Murdered people locked him in the freezer. And then it got turned into something. And it was like a thing in Chicago where it was like trying to sell the brown chicken and nobody's buying it. This could be the case at God City. But today, we don't know until we do some research. Yeah. I mean, there are all those bass players that are buried in the basement.

too. I'm not counting that. I was only counting the stuff from before. How many bad takes until you kill a base player? That got so. Usually I just eat them. Yeah. Alive. That seems insane.

You shouldn't be sane. You don't eat your bass player? Just kidding. I haven't actually eaten any bass players. What have you heard about the town? Boston is made from mostly filled land. So Salem was the original commerce port.

of Massachusetts. It predates Boston. And if you go down to the Wharf area on Derby Street, is the Customs House, which has like a big, you know, big granite steps and like a gold eagle on the top of it, that is reportedly one of the most haunted places in Salem. And so the customs house is where the goods and the money were.

So when the pirates came into town, they just came in a port, ran across the street, went to the customs house, killed everybody, took all the stuff. so there was a lot of there were a lot of activity over there and steal stuff and smuggle and stuff and smuggle and stuff who

Tuesday you think that's going to be fresh in there fresh blood if I were so good so I'd like to go to the woods here because I'm sure some terrible things have happened so they some some

forensic archaeologists recently figured out where the gallows actually were. Okay. And surprise, it's like in the middle of a cul-de-sac behind a Walgreens. Oh, right. And, like, total, like, residential neighborhood. And they did put up, like, a little bit of a plaque,

but they've really discouraged people from going over there because it's not, it's like just a residential neighborhood. Was the crushing around there, too? The crushing? The more weight guy? What? There was a man who was. was convicted of witchcraft and he was crushed to death.

They put weight on him until he died. That's horrible. When they asked, do you admit, he said, more weight. I feel like that's in some movie. It's in the Crucible, but it's like a well-known thing. So the Crucible, I think a lot of that stuff took place in Danvers or maybe Peabody. One of the first things anybody around here is going to tell you is that, like, Salem at the time of the witchcraft trials, was geographically much larger than it is today. So a lot of, like, the events actually took place in what are now the neighboring towns.

Where the Fuddruckers was. Yeah, there's a Fuddruckers. There's a Fuddruckers in Saugus on Route and Run. Is that the one you're trying about that? Inside the Home Depot? There's like a Home Depot, a movie theater. They're near, they're near each other. Yeah.

Yeah. Big fan. You like the cheddar pump, don't you? Look. You know I love the cheddar pump. NAS fries. Oh, they do have the big fries. Big old fries.

The snake fries. What you should do is go to some of the cemeteries. Yep. In particular, the Charter Street Cemetery, which is close to the lobster shanty. Perfect. The Charter Street Cemetery has, obviously, no witches are buried there, but judges from the witchcraft trials are there. Perfect. And you know they're cursed.

They are. Also, people from Mayflower are buried there. Hey, maybe there's some youngs there. Some youngs there. Oh, yeah. His? I'm OG. I just assumed you were from Connecticut.

I am, but before that, Mayflower. It's a good place to wrap it up, I'd say. We don't want to take up too much of this time. It's a mix. Thank you so much for having us, great. Yeah, no problem. Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy the weekend.

Next time you see me, it might not be me in this body. Might be possessed by somebody else. Him, especially. Because he doesn't believe, so he's fucked. He's susceptible to spirit. spiritual violence, I would say. That's a good name for an album. Spiritual violence, or susceptible to spiritual violence?

Spiritual violence, I think, is good. That's the name of the episode. Copyright. Cut that out, so I got it. You used a stake to claim. I did. Yeah. All right. Let's rock. Thank you so much.

Cool. Yeah, no problem. I'm scared. So where are we going right now? We're going to a cemetery past the gates. Yeah. Well, we might have to be. You might have to be a little sneaky. Yeah.

I don't know. Oh, turn here. How about that? Wow. We're really close. We're basically there. It's right over there. I like it here.

It's beautiful. I imagine if it's snowy. You don't remind you of is Europe. It's kind of willage-y. There's a little bit of a willage going on. Look at this gas lit little wager here. This is cool. Gorgeous.

They got soaps. They sell soap. What's that out of there? Oh my god. Pirate. That's something we found out that along with ghosts and witches, there's also pirate shit. It smells incredible.

It smells really good. It smells like burning wood. It does. Hopefully it's not a perfume. Not witches. Oh my God. Because that is. That's what happens.

It's what they smell it. It's even on Google Maps. It says old burying ground. So where we're going now is an old, old cemetery in Salem where not only potential witches were buried after being burned and flogged and mollied, also the judges that condemn them to death. So we're going to see their graves today. and maybe see one of them a full body apparition.

Or disembodied. Possibly. Chargne Street, Sanctuary National Register, historic places. Oh, wow. It's on the National Registry. Which Trials Memorial? There we go. It's funny because, like, half of this place is, like, kind of scary.

And then the other half is just, like, beautiful. New, beautiful building. And then there's this, you know? This is restored, obviously, but... I made you at the cemetery gates. I dread a Sunday day. Pete and Yates are on. That's a good backdrop here.

It's a lot of graves. Yeah. This is very scary. Tarter Street Cemetery? Yeah, this is where he told us to check out. As you can see behind us, a sea of gravestones, weathered in time, weathered from weather, even. Rain, sleets, no? Just like the USPS.

I don't think that happens. What do you mean? I'm joking. Oh, obviously it's weather. for weather. Very good. Great joke, Bowen. The names are almost worn things. Yeah, I can't see any of them. Just to stop the people passers by from identifying the horrific acts

done by the people buried here. And done too by the people buried. In addition to. As well as. There's a tour happening a little bit behind the So whenever they fuck off, we'll fuck on. We're gonna fuck on. But it doesn't look like they're going in either. So we may be...

It's just, what is the point? What if I tell them my great... 15th generation? My great niece. Damn, these look fake. You know? There's so many that it looks face. Oh, shit, look at this.

Oh, we got crystals. Whoa. Okay. Sarah Good. Sarah Good. Goody Proctor. In the summer, too, terrible time to be hanged. Sweat.

Oh, my God. I know. I mean, climate change wasn't quite as bad as it is. It's still hot in the summer. But there's something that I saw recently that was truly shocking to me. That's something that, something serious about climate change that nobody's really talking about. That the goth lifestyle will not be practical eventually. So we must protect goth women and save the planet so that they can continue to wear their cool stuff.

I've never lived another way. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Come on. As you can see, the names here, very famous name, Sarah Good, hanged July 1692. 19. Elizabeth Howe hanged July 19, 1692. Susanna Martin, Sean Martin's aunt.

Hanged July 19th. This is one day. Yeah, one day. They just cleaned them out. Holy fuck. Well, I mean, you got to get rid of a witch what you can do. It's true. Sarah Wilds, July 16th.

Well, now. July 19th. That sounds like a witch name. Sarah Wilde? No matter what she did, I'd be like, listen, Sarah. Everyone else's going to talk. Sarah. Let's find the crushed guy.

The crushed guy? Yeah, he was part of it. The guy with the weights? Yeah. Wates, the guy with the weights? Not weights, rates, rates. George J. Oh.

And he didn't. George, Jacob, that's his name too. John Proctor. The homie, dude. D.D.L. Played by Daniel. John Proctor and the Crucible,

played by the greatest act. to ever live, Daniel Day Lewis. My primary care physician, Daniel J. Lewis. Put it together? What do you got? Witchcraft? We got on this side. Samuel Wardwell. September 22nd, that's after my birthday. This man was hanged after my birthday.

Well, before by several hundred years, but then also after. But this could be why my parents went with that day. So this is a whole different event. Scott. No, no, no, no, it was just later on. on. Two months later, but this is the same day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I'm saying is they hang people to kind of set a

Hey, we're serious. Like, don't witch. Yeah, yeah. Don't witch here. Witch, please. Mary Parker. That's a sad one. She sounds kind. Oh, God, Alice Parker. Now she's a b***. Are we being disrespectful? Who? Us. Me? To who? To the tag.

Oh. I'm trying to make. some shit happened here, you know? Yeah, it's all about content. They know I don't mean it. I'm just, I want them to hear me, so they stay with me and then I can bring them around, you know? It's out of love. He sounds like these folks are leaving soon, speed. We dawdle. Yeah. Flashlights were a great call. Great call. Martha. Martha. Corey. Two first names. Tragile. Always bad. Yeah.

He's Paul. Kyle Thomas. God, there it is. There we go. See, I told you. Giles Corey. With a big puddle. Look at, different day.

Press. Two days before our birthday. Giles Gory. Yeah, tell them the story. I will. So I don't remember why, exactly. It's been a while since I saw that movie. But basically, this guy, we'll wait for these people to pass.

They want to hear it, too. You know more than the guy. New tour now. Thank you so much, guys. Any more tours? tonight? Enough. You want to do a private one for us?

You got PayPal? If you can, that'd be great. I got a little time. And are you okay with being on camera? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's give David a proper intro first. You're absolutely right. City on a Hill Tours.

Yeah. Do you want to plug them or do you want it to be? Oh, no, that's fine. That's my business. So I'm a historian. I'm a local tour guide. I do big public tours. I do private tours.

My company is City on Hill Tours. We were walking on and we're looking at the memorial benches. old benches. Reading the names, you know, obviously most, the majority were hanged. We got to Giles. Yep. We love, we're familiar with the story. I'd love to hear you tell the story. Yeah, so

Giles is, so there's a lot involved with Giles story. Yeah, sorry, you said Giles. I've only heard Giles, but so Giles Corey is probably one of the more well-known names because of how he died. So he was, we call pressed to death.

He's the only person that we know of North America to be killed in this manner. It's not, so people think it's called being pressed to death, but it's not because he was crushed to death by stones, but it's because they're pressing him for answers to enter a plea. So it said that he was an old crotchy guy, he's about 80 years old, but he was accused of being a witch. And so the long short of it is when he gets into the courtroom in front of the judge,

he needs to enter a plea. say guilty or not guilty to the accusation. And he apparently says nothing. And we think because there's a loophole in the system. If you don't enter a plea, then technically the trial can't move on. And it's probably because he figures the town doesn't like him already. And he probably realized he's not going to make it through this. And so he's probably just trying to delay the inevitable. And so he just says nothing. And so he's tortured to get a plea out of him. And what they did was they, they, they, they, they laid him on the ground and they put a big board across his body and then every hour on the hour they stacked a really big stone on top of him until he either entered a plea or he died so he was

he was almost 81 at the time and he lasted for two and a half days like this oh my god is there is an estimate of the way so i've seen i've heard uh 250 300 kilograms uh if you like if you break it down a stone like this size, you know, every hour for two and a half days. You can probably get a rough estimate. But he was like, so even though he was 80, he was like a very athletic and strong guy. And so they think he just held out that long because he was just in pretty good physical shape. And yeah. Yeah.

So he, so after two and a half days, this is more, this part's more legend. I don't know if we can prove that this is actually said, but who said that the sheriff, who is the executioner. His name is George Corwin. He comes up to him on the third day and says, how do you plea? And supposedly the only answer that Corey gave back was more weight. Right. Hard.

And so... Very crazy. Very crazy. So the sheriff apparently doesn't like this, and the story goes that he gets frustrated, and he smashed the last stone down, and that was it for Giles Corey. That was intense.

Heavy. I also... Pardon the punch. There's a second part of it, though. Please. He was, his wife, who is here, Martha, she was accused of being a witch as well. And I don't remember if he directly said she's a witch, or when the accusations were made, he kind of was like, I don't know, that would explain a lot about her.

You know, it didn't really stick up for her. His own wife? Yeah, yeah. And so she was... You would do that to me. No, man. So she was found guilty, and three days after he was killed, she was... paying for witchcraft. Wow. And there's no access to the cemetery at this stage? Not at this time. So during the day, usually, it's open. They just read at the paths and so they just control how many people go through it because there's been some people that had to try to grave rob and steal graves and whatnot, even still. So we've heard that there are cemeteries with judges from the trials buried in it. Are any of them here? Yep. So John Hathorn is buried in the middle. See that one right there?

Yeah, absolutely. The reason was, I think, like, 20 years ago, some knucklehead tried to steal his grave. The whole thing. And so he pulled it out of the ground. And so now it's encased in, like, a granite slab. Wow. To be harder to steal.

Gotcha. And it's John Hathorn. So John Hathorn is one of the five magistrates or judges of the trials. And his nickname was the hanging judge because of the sentence that he liked to give out. He's responsible for sentence and more than any other judges. So he has a really bad reputation.

He really shows. no remorse either later on. So you can see what kind of why these knuckleheads would want to face something like this. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Did confesses, confessors, get to live?

Yeah. So everybody that was... That makes no sense. Everybody that was executed to the end claimed to be innocent. Do the same which trials have anything to do with us implementing a jury of peers rather than a judged individually doing everything? No. So juries were already used.

The trials were done with juries. Oh, okay. Grand juries that looked over the evidence. But, I mean, it's crazy. So I don't know if you know the story of Rebecca Nurse. Rebecca Nurse was accused. She was initially found not guilty. But when the not guilty verdict was read,

apparently all of her accusers, who were mostly young girls in the horror, they began going as scary. Yeah, they freaked out. That was the crucible. That's like a really good scene in the crucible. And so they sent the jury. back into deliberation and wouldn't you know it came back with a guilty burden?

Oh my God. Obviously totally not constitutional today. Yeah, no. But yeah, they had juries back then. But this really kind of shows what proves why having a religious colony wasn't a good idea. Because it was the ministers, they were, they were everything. They were the judges. They were the local leaders, the military leaders.

And by today's standards, they were religious phenomena. So we're going, we're going to go left up here. All right. Oh boy. All right, and then we're just on this until it ends at the witch house. Okay. So how many? How many points?

We are looking at point two. I would like to come back here when it's warm actually. Yeah. It seems like... But it's, I don't feel like is there a warm season here or is it tit niply or burning alive? Yeah. Colin. What?

Oh, shit. See? Revenge? I just got, I just got hoarsed by a felon named Charlie. Oh my God. Right after I said burning a lie. Oh. That makes me think.

That wasn't an act of pure chance, but an act of possible witchcraft. Oh, no. Blackcraft cult. Here they are. So where are we going right now, Collins? Let's tell them. We're going to the witch house in Salem. The lore is lost on me, Bo.

Do you want to tell the people about it? Jonathan Corwin House. Oh. Known locally as the witch house is a historic house museum. It was home of the judge of the judge Corwin. It's the only structure still standing in Salem with direct ties to the trials. The only one?

And that's where we're going now. It's old. It's over 300 years old, you know? Is that it at the end? It's at the end, yeah. That's the black one right there. It's because there's gotta be a plaque or something. Let's cross.

Yeah. Let's not cross. Wow. It's pretty intense. Tell you what, they were living better back then than I am. Big time. I mean, the property taxes were an egg, you know? Uncooked.

I'll be laid on red. Fuck, man. My hens are fucking killing me. So here's the thing. 1642 was built. 50 years or so? Wait, when was it? 1690? Is that when it happened? 1692.

So about 50 years before the trials, this house was not a witch house. Pleasure, just a house. Just happy. And now it's synonymous with... Yeah, I've definitely seen like a million, like, tumbler photos, you know, of girls, like, standing in front of the door. Of that door, for sure. So we're here at the back of the Salem Witch House.

where a very scary cellar door lies in wait. There's a message on the door. It's closed. Just about every day. Noon to 4. Awesome. Late a century 345, the witching hour. That's horrible.

The door is locked with only a pine cone. You know what movie sucks? Donnie Darko. Donnie Darko because of Cellar Door. She sucks in that movie. Sit next to the boy who you think is cute. I mean, that's like, disgusting. But also...

The movie sucks. It was awesome. No idea what it's about. There's a bell back here that keeps ringing in the wind, and it's actually scared me twice now. Hear that? Yeah. It's just that thing right there.

The bell. Oops. So, interestingly, even the Salem witch house is susceptible to Massachusetts sanitation apartment. And the birds... And birds are... Damn. On my mama, fool.

These birds petty as hell. Furious. So, for those familiar with the expression, a bird in the hand is worth doing the bush. Behind us, the actual bush. From the same. Do you know why they say sleep tight? Don't let the beg bugs, boy?

Yeah, but why is tight? What does that mean? Like, tight is fuck, chill. No. What does it mean? Mattresses. It's suspended by length. Tighten the mattresses.

It's nice and firm. It's snuby. sleep tight. What was inside the rope? Like hay and shit? What was inside the rope? Yeah, what is it roped to? What is tight? It's tightening you? No, no, no, instead of the bed slats or like a box spring, it's a rope. It's a network of rope and then the mattress is on it. So the other stuff we could check out is if we wanted to is that CVS. Oh, the Walgreens. I think we should do that. Okay. I think we should do that. The Walgreens where where the gallows were. Where the gallows were. Yeah.

Where all, everybody was, you know. Yeah. We're here at what is now officially dubbed Proctor's Ledge, the official site where in the, during the witch trials, this is where the gallows were, where every witch was hanged. Here are their names again, Bridget Bishop, Sarah Good, Elizabeth Ho. Oh. Ooh. Ooh.

I wonder if these got messed with or what? Yeah, some of them are, maybe the lights are just buried under leaves. No. John Proctor, there he is. Like, we're standing in the spot where the Salem Woods trials concluded, with all these people being killed. How does this feel for you? It's behind a Walgreens.

That's the thing is... I can see a television through that window. Yeah. It's pretty, you know... It's hard to say. You know what's crazy is like some of these trees could have been little baby acorns back in the day. This tree could have been there. Who knows?

I don't know. You don't know. I don't know. What did you think of Salem? A whole place to be. But I had a good time. Oh, yeah. It's a really cool place.

I missed the sun. Less ghosts more. It's like tragic history. Tragic American history. It is. but it's still that niche, isn't it? Yeah. Of course.

Sure is. Because what's crazy is like, whether you believe in witchcraft or not, all of these people died innocently. They're dead. Because of whatever somebody else believed. Puritanical fanaticism. Yeah. And like, they're dead. They're just dead.

A hundred percent innocent. And some of them, some of their family lineages ended because they're dead. Wow. Wow. Intense. So we're going to go to a show now. hopefully not bringing back any bad vibes

any mojo yeah we'll see any knocks on your door last night no me neither we asked front desk if it was haunted at all he said no

Troy said no no I said no I said no I had Troy well I didn't have fucking Troy so I know what you want from me man yeah well so we're not in a haunted hotel this time luckily but

the weekend has just begun so we'll see what's going We've only just become. That's a great point. Live from Salem, we're freezing our nuts and tits off, and that's it for us today. Thank you so much for watching. We love you. Bye.

Hey, Siri. Uh-huh. Call fucking asshole. Calling fucking asshole mobile. Hello. Can you come to my room? Yeah, are you okay? Somebody's wrong with me.

Oh, shit. Do you need anything? Just your presence. Uh, yeah, yeah, I'll be right up. Colin called me. I don't know. I don't know what's going out with him, but right up to his room real quick and make sure everything's okay.

It's important to remember. Last time we were out of town doing this kind of thing, Colin tried to mess with me. As you'll remember from Birmingham, knocked on my door. Not this time at night too. So we're obviously a little suspicious. a little suspicious. He might be trying to mess with me again, but he also might have a tummy ache. Lord knows he gets tummy aches. So we can't be too careful, but Sean's with me to document,

obviously, his shenanigans, whatever you want to call it. Hey. What are you doing, man? You know, I like to use the lobby bathroom. I just called you, or you just called me, rather. We just spoke. That was hours ago. So are you good?

Ever since we got back from Seattle, the room's been so... Well, it's burning up in here. You feel that? It's freezing. My thigh is killing. Your thigh? Yeah. Like where you ran into the thing?

I don't know. Should we... Do you need something? I need a lot of things, well, my internet's broke. My fucking TV keeps turning off guy. It's cold like the dickens in here. What if I brought something back? You didn't bring anything back.

You ate McDonald's at midnight, and we were out in the freezing cold for like eight hours. You know damn well as I do. The McDonald's across the street from the Middle East in Cambridge is one of the all-time great franchise locations. There's no way they would do this to me. even with the limited late night menu. I don't know what to tell you.

I need you to rub my thigh. I'm not going to rub your thigh. Please. Does it feel better? No. I have two moments.