HardLore - Madison Watkins (Year of the Knife)

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

On June 28th, 2023, every band’s worst nightmare became reality for our good friends in Year of the Knife - they were involved in a horrific van accident while on tour, which put the band on hiatus and ultimately lead to vocalist MADISON WATKINS being in in critical condition, suffering major physical trauma, experiencing over a month of memory loss and fracturing nearly every bone in her body. After months and months of uncertainty, impossibly hard work on her end, triumph of her indomitable and incomparable human spirit, and endless support from her husband Brandon, her family, her doctors, the hardcore community and beyond. We are so grateful to say, our very good friend Madison Watkins is finally here as our very special guest. Enjoy these two hours of triumph and insight into one of the strongest people we know. HardLore is now on Patreon! Join now to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes: https://patreon.com/hardlorepod HardLore Official Website/HardLore Records store: https://hardlorepod.com Join the HARDLORE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/jA9rppggef This episode is brought to you by ATHLETIC GREENS! Try AG1 at athleticgreens.com/HARDLORE to receive a free 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 travel packs of AG1. Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code HARDLORE at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod FOLLOW MADI: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/madiwxtkins TWITTER | https://twitter.com/madiwxtkins FOLLOW YEAR OF THE KNIFE: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/xyotkx TWITTER | https://www.twitter.com/YEAROFTHEKNIFE FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/hardlorepod/ TWITTER | https://twitter.com/hardlorepod SPOTIFY | https://spoti.fi/3J1GIrp APPLE | https://apple.co/3IKBss2 FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/colinyovng/ TWITTER | https://www.twitter.com/ColinYovng FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM | https://www.instagram.com/bosxe/ TWITTER | https://www.twitter.com/bosxe Check out our merch at https://knotfest.com/store/?view=hardlore Find all of our videos at https://knot1.co/3vWXsbx   HardLore: A Knotfest Series, Fueled by Monster Energy Edited by Steven Grise • Title sequence by Nicholas Marzluf Join the HARDLORE PATREON to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes. Join the HARDLORE DISCORD for community discussions and to participate in our future Q&A episodes. FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER, SPOTIFY, APPLE FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER   For sponsorship opportunities, email us! [e-mail] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Subscribe to the all new Hardlore Patreon now for early ad-free access to every episode and an exclusive episode every month. It needs to be said that it's like a straight up miracle that the band is with us and the band is okay and that you are now at physically 100%. It's true. It's true. It took like a long time for all of us, but I think that everybody's like back 100. On June 28, 2023, every band's worst nightmare became reality for our good friends and Year of the Knife. They were involved in a horrific van accident on tour, which put the band on hiatus and ultimately led to vocalist Madison Watkins being in critical condition, suffering major physical trauma, factoring nearly every bone in her body. after months and months of uncertainty, impossibly hard work on her end, triumph of her indomitable and incomparable human spirit,

and endless support from her husband Brandon, her family, her doctors, the hardcore community and beyond. We are so grateful to finally say, hello, welcome to our friend Madison Watkins, who was our very special guest this week. I'm so excited.

excited seriously. This is like the highlight of my whole like year. Oh, I mean that. That means a lot. Get me started. You're going to crack him up. Yeah, it's going to happen. That's okay though. That's a good thing. I was going to say as long as it's him and not me, I'll be like, yeah, get it. First and foremost, Maddie, welcome. How are you? I'm doing really well. I'm like super, super excited to be on because I was just like so. excited for everything you guys do. Oh, thank you. And, you know, your support since the show started has meant the world to us. You made us stickers just for fun.

That's because I was like, you guys are so sick. We got to stick this on shit. And we have. Yep, certainly. We gave those stickers away at Sound and Fury and such. That's so cool. After that. Tied down, I think.

for sure. Tied down. Yeah. Just in honor of our beloved friend who may ask these special things. That's so sick. It is so good to see you. It's so good to have you here. Like after a road of uncertainty, it is truly, I'm having trouble putting this into words here.

After. Well, you said it, you said it perfectly. It's literally a band's worst nightmare. It's anyone's worst nightmare, but specifically the thing that we all do, is drive late at night, you know, and it's, it's horrible, it's scary. It's true. After such a long and difficult road of recovery, is there still a long road ahead? I think that there's like a long road ahead, but most of it is just like convincing the rest of the band that I'm like ready.

Because I think sometimes I push them like, I'm like, I really want to play. And they're like, can you? And I'm like, yeah, like, let's practice. Let's do stuff. and they're very like maybe they're just being conservative but I'm just like come on like let's go for it yeah yeah and you just practiced for the first time how was that yeah we did it was awesome it was like seriously so fun and it was just like cool to get back to practicing because I was like we can do this like and like anything that we have it's like offers like if they're like I don't know

I'm like you do know like we can do this I mean that's unbelievable How's your voice feeling? It's feeling good, honestly. And especially after practice, I think that I was worried, like, am I going to feel shot? Am I going to not want to talk the next day? And then it's like, no, it's fine. Oh, wow. I mean, that's incredible.

I remember when you started singing, texting me being like, hey, what do I do? Being like, help. I think you do this well. And I'm going to break my voice. Can you, like, tell me what I'm doing wrong? If I did what you were doing, my voice would never come back. And the fact that you can still speak means you're already better at it than I've ever been. I don't know about that, but I do appreciate it.

And I remember, too, when we had toured together, when you would do backups when Tyler was still singing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, I remember thinking like, she got a fucking voice on her. It's crazy. Like she could sing for a band. And I remember thinking that the way in which you scream. I couldn't imagine that being your 100% voice and somehow you do it. So I think you do great. I wouldn't even, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that.

Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I have like a lot of fun singing, which like I think sometimes it can be really tough for people to sing, but I think like it's just like a cool thing to do. Well, when you have this natural charisma that we know that you have, that's half the bout. That is half the battle. 100%.

something that really got me throughout following along your recovery. And I think this is like the best way to describe your character is reading that months into your recovery. While the rest of the band is fine, you're still doing all kinds of physical therapy. You would regularly get upset because you're still just worried about how everybody else is doing and everybody else is handling it. That honestly is very me because I was just like, I'm fine. Like, are you guys okay?

And they were like, dude, you are way worse than we are. And I was like, I don't think so. Like, and maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's a bad thing. But I think that I was just like, I'm so worried if you guys are okay. Like, I'm not worried about me. Boy, oh boy, that's, that's spirit is what it is. Straight up.

I know that Brandon has said from his perspective, if we want to, if we can go back to like the beginning of this this the most insane part of your life I'm sorry if this is something that makes you uncomfortable totally understand no no it's good okay um Brandon has said to me

and publicly that like he closed his eyes in the van opened them and was in the hospital yeah is there a specific moment like that where you can pinpoint specifically like regaining your cognition that's the

weirdest thing about it is like I feel like I don't even remember like being at the hospital and I feel like I just remember being back home, which is like, I know that there was like times in between that. It's just like I have no memory of them, which I think is super weird, but maybe a good thing. Yeah, I think the brain does that to kind of protect you a little bit. It does. It's like erases like the things that it's like, oh, that's not a good memory. You don't want that. Yeah.

Like, okay. Sometimes Brandon will tell me like, oh, we were. at the mall with this person. Do you remember? And I'm like, no. And he's like, you were in a wheelchair. And I'm like, maybe that's why I don't remember. I have no idea. That wasn't me. I don't know what she was doing. That wasn't me. I don't know her. Yeah. Like, she was being a wild child. Like, not me. That reminds me of someone we all know, Maddie, a little man called Wolverine. Wolverine. So I think you're our Wolverine. Thank you. That's so cool. Now you're here to, you know.

To fuck it up. Hold it down for Canada and Delaware, I guess. Let's go. Obviously, the outpouring of support from the community was one of the most beautiful and inspiring things that we've seen, that we've been part of. Hardcore music and beyond came together in a way that I've never personally seen. How did that feel to kind of slowly come back into? cognition and realize throughout your recovery. I honestly think that like seeing that, I was just like, holy shit.

Like even people that we're not close to were like being supportive. Yeah. And like to me, I was just like, damn, like we're so lucky. Like that was something that I don't, I don't know if I felt that way before or if it was just like after that. I was like, damn, like we really have the support. Like when we needed it, people were there. It's a 100% truth that like, you know, these.

These kinds of terrible accidents and things happen every day to people all over the world who absolutely don't have anything close. They have health insurance and it's not as good. You know what I mean? Right. There's lots of pitfalls out there. And I've seen it in other ways not quite as dire, you know, firsthand. Like when we had our trailer stolen, you know, the support is like, holy shit. People do give a shit with your situation.

And, I mean, that was one of the one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen come out of this community. same. Yeah, it was really awesome. It was like wild to see because I was like people that we know and even people we don't know being like, we're there for you. Like it's going to be okay. I was like, holy shit. Like, damn, who is this? I didn't even know. Yeah. But like in a good way. Like I don't know you, but thank you so much. Like, holy shit. What was that like just opening your phone for the first time after being like, ah, I'm awake. I'm feeling good. Check the old texts. Honestly, like I think that. I think that. that some of the people that were texting were like family members and then some of them I was like I don't know like if this is like a close friend or like just somebody that like I don't know that well but like it was a lot of people reaching out that I was like holy shit I'm like overwhelmed with the support and I don't think that everybody gets that like I think that sometimes you go through hard shit and there's like not everybody there for you yeah but for us it was like no everybody is there for you everybody's like excited that you're okay

Absolutely. Boy. You and Brandon, having been together since high school, which is a feat in its own right, how I have to imagine going through something like this together has to have brought you closer than you've ever been. It honestly has. It's one of those things that's kind of weird because he was like, I know there's certain things that you forget, but you never forgot me. And I'm like, that's awesome. I know that's sad, but it's true. No, there's nothing sad about that.

That's one of the most romantic things I've ever heard in my entire life. It's true, though, because it's like certain things. I'm like, I don't remember that. Like, I know that I was there, but like I have no memory of it. And then with him, I'm like, I never, there was never a point that I was like, who are you? Or like, why are you here? I was always like, where is Brandon right now? Where's my guy?

Right. Holy shit. Oh, fuck. I know that the few texts I got from you, like between now and then fucked me up every time, where it was just you being like, hello, you're doing great. I love the show. And I'd be like, I was probably like, I love you so much. I love the show. Yes.

I hope you're doing great. That's true, though. So like mobility-wise, where are you at? You jump, you're doing cartwheels running around and shit? I was going to say I'm at like 100%, which is cool because I think. Really? Yeah, which is like wild. Holy shit.

Because I think that, what's it called? The twins were always like really, really worried. Like they were like, I don't know. Like if you're going to get back to where you were. And I was like, I think I'm better than where I was. Yeah, you've seen trainers now. essentially. Yeah.

That's true. You went to the gym for 10 months, basically. That's true. It's like I have to get like, you have to get ripped and be like ready to go. Like, come on now. Wow. Well, can we, can we talk about what happened? Yeah, of course.

Okay. So you were in Utah. Utah, yeah. Leaving Salt Lake. Mm-hmm. And you were going west. Which is just like the Utah, Denver stretch. is an infamously dangerous place to just drive in general.

Yeah. Yeah. This is middle of summer, you know? Oh, that's right. It ain't snow and it ain't freezing. It ain't icing and it is still dangerous. Can confirm, unfortunately. Were you laying down?

Yeah, that's the thing that was like also super weird because Andy and Aaron were in the front. And then I was like laying on the second bench or the first bench. or the first bench. Second. Okay, first bench. And then the second bench, Brandon was laying on. Yeah.

And then it was just like, yeah. And you, you fractured every bone in your body and Brandon had a concussion. Yeah. I was going to say, I like,

you broke his fall. I tried. I guess I was like, no. Which sounds like what Wolverine would do. I went full Wolverine. Were you asleep?

Yeah. I was asleep and Brandon was too. And like I literally, I don't remember like the hospital there. Yeah. And I don't remember like I literally my first memory is like being back home, which is so weird. Wow. And how much time is that? I think it was like a month, which is like.

So you lost a month. It's just. Yeah. Like I think it was like I was just healing. But like my brain was not there. Unfortunately. You know, it's funny. In conversations about this accident,

I, in my mind was like playing out like, okay, well, if they got hurt this way and she got hurt this way, how could, like, I'm thinking at, because as like someone who also tours and who also lays on that same bench in our van, like how that could have, and that's exactly what I pictured was the twins up front, you and the first bench, Brandon, behind you. Yeah, just like flying off the edge and like. I mean, it's, it needs to be said that it's like a straight up miracle that the band is with us and the band is okay and that you are now at physically 100%. It's true. It's true. It took like a long time for all of us, but I think that everybody's like back 100. Yeah, because Colin and I both saw the twins independent of each other. Oh, okay.

You saw them when you were with Dead Body, right? Yeah, they were limping down sets of stairs, crutching their way all over the place. That's very them. And I saw them in like November-ish, October at the church. And it was one of those things where you just kind of like, Holy shit. Holy fuck.

Like, I'm so glad you're here. You're like, are you good? Yeah. Yeah. It was amazing. And I feel that way now. And, and, and, but you seem so good, Maddie, that I, like, it's all I can process. Yeah.

That makes me super happy. Like, I really appreciate that. Because I wouldn't want to, like, come on here and you'd be like, the fuck is wrong with her. I'd be like, no. No, I just see my friend. I see, I see, I see, I see my OG. What were some things, you're a woman of great culture. Thank you.

You love cool stuff. Cool shit. What were some things, be it like, bands, shows, or books that brought you comfort through this brutal time of your life? I'm trying to think honestly. And like, I think that if I'm thinking off the top of my head, there is just like three bands that I was like super crazy about. And it was glass jaw, deaf tones and terror. I was just like, oh my God. Like they're so fucking cool. Terrell get you through absolutely any different,

any assorted pain you've had in your life. Yeah. They do. And like, don't tell Scott I said that because he's going to be like, you wish, but you're getting a text. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. That's okay. If he texts me and he's like, you were talking about me in a good way. I'm going to be like, duh. That's incredible.

I feel like as, as humans, in times of crisis, it's like we fixate on interesting things at the worst times when you when you're in this accident your your every bit of energy you should have should just be like recovering getting better was there a moment where you're in your mind like oh no our new album what will happen to it yeah i was going to say there's like been an offer that like we've received that i was like we're ready to do it. And like the rest of the band was like, I don't know if we are. And I was like,

what do I have to do to like convince you guys besides literally tell the person we're playing? Yeah, right, right. Which like, unfortunately. This is a good start. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to know it. They're going to be like, she said yes, she's kind of a pain, but it's okay. No, yeah, the emails are rolling in after this. She just, wow. To the audio listeners, She just did a backflip and she's ready to go. And a kickflip. It was crazy. It's a woo-hoo.

Before we go back in time and, you know, start from the beginning and get the true Maddie Watkins' hard lore, let's talk about no love lost. I think it's the best year of the knife record. Thank you. It is, you have become the band you've always meant to be. It's cohesive. It's massive. Tell me about putting that together, singing on your first record. Right.

And a couple, maybe a couple tracks that you're particularly proud of. Honestly, like, that record in general, I'm just, like, super, super proud of. And, like, we've been practicing a little bit recently. And it's been, like, super fun to, like, sing the songs with them. Which I think, like, I'm not sure if everybody gets that when they do their own songs. But I'm just like, this is so fucking. sick. Like, I want to play this shit live. And it's cool. Because this is your first

LP singing. That's true. So this is, this is a new band essentially. It is. It's like a new band and it's like with the guys that I'm like super happy to be in the band with. Which I think not everybody's so lucky. Like, they don't get to play

with people they're so close with. But like I was just like, this is fucking awesome. Are there some tracks in particular that you're Most proud of. I was going to say, I know this is like the title of it, but I love no love loss. That is a fucking, that's number two for me.

Banger. Banger. Can't believe. Here's the thing. I greatly respect title track last song, like as the album closer because it kind of makes the listener go, well, that's the name of the album, so I should make it there. Right, right, right. But holy shit.

That would have been, I would have put that one, track one, side A. Heaven denied. My God. I love that song. Yeah. It's so funny because like writing that, it's like when I reread it, I'm like, I think I might have been like in kind of a bad place, but that's just how I am when I write lyrics in general.

I'm like, let's take this like from the darker side and make it something sick. That's the best art. It is. Have you, well, that being said, have you been writing? I was going to say I haven't like written for like a little while, but last time we practiced, I was like, do you guys have any new songs? And they were like, no, not yet. So I was like, when you do, let me know because I want to write again. Got some shit on your mind. Yeah. Let me get this shit out there. They're like, hold on.

What are your thoughts on the American healthcare system after being through what you'd just been through? American health care, I think, is probably pretty good. I think, Is that like rough? No. No, I mean, you are a prime example of like what it is supposed to do. That's true. You're sitting here talking on a dumb little podcast because of the American health care system. Yeah.

I made it to the other side. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. So they took care of you. They did. I was going to say and there's like, I know there's like parts that I don't remember of being in the hospital, but I think it's probably like in a good way. I don't remember the shitty times.

I don't remember if I was a pain. Hopefully I was not. You were an angel. We talked to every single nurse and every practitioner. You were a total angel. Do you know, like, how many surgeries you underwent? I think I had surgery on my leg because I have like a really big like scar over my kneecap on the left side. And that's the only indication you have like, oh, I must have had surgery.

Yeah. Like it's not like, oh, that leg really hurts. It's like, what the fuck is that scar? That's very like me now. It's like, I see something and I'm like, how long has that been there? And then Brandon's like, oh, well, that was from the accident. And I'm like, thankfully, don't remember that. News to me.

Yeah. And I think that is part of the, you know, the miracle here is that he was okay to enough just to be there for you the whole time. Holy shit. Yeah, great point. Great point. that's true because like I think that's something that always like worries me is like I want him to be okay but it's like he had to see the worst than me and also just be like I'm going to be all right she's going to be all right like we're going to make it through this fuck yeah you do rock a sheer will through sheer force of will yeah that's the next album one more question how and this is surely a loaded question how do you feel about getting back in a van getting back in a van. I honestly, like, I'm not scared, which I don't know if, like, I should be more

scared, but I think that I'm just like, let's get back out. Like, let's play shows, let's play fest. And like, yeah, I think that I could be like, oh, I'm super scared of that. And it would make sense for me to be scared. But I think I'm just like, no, like, I don't want to be scared of something that means so much to me and that gets us to places I want to go. I mean, again, this is the kind of thing that could happen to bands all the time. thankfully it is exceedingly rare rarer than you would think and it's obviously it's terrible

that you had such a a time from start till now but I will say when I got in the van for our tour and I laid down on that bench I put the seatbelt on you know what I mean like yeah it changed the way I think about that shit

because it's like if I can be safe like I want to be more safe than like how I was before for sure and like don't you know, there's nothing, there's no shade in that. Everybody with a 15 passenger van lays down in the van.

Oh, yeah. I am as horizontal as I can be wherever I am. 100% of the time, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's like, I'm sleeping now, suckers. Let's go back in time a little bit. Who were you before you are Madison Watkins? Madison Matthews.

Madison? Matthews. See, I don't know her at all. You just know Madison Watkins. I know Maddie Watkins. But Madison Matthews, she was also like very, very sweet. Also, it's funny because like, I'm making you laugh. But like I was just like super into like musical theater and stuff when I was younger. And then I got like, yes, I got like really into like hardcore music just like as time grew.

I think that I found terror and that was like what made me download a bunch of other bands Amazing Yeah I think also just like downloading Glassjaw like linked me to a bunch of different shit And I was like this is awesome So Glassjaw and Terror your formative bands that You know nearly 20 years later got you through the hardest times of your life They did

Don't tell Scott but yeah Tell them again Scott you did it again Damn it, you're awesome. So a musical theater, was there a production you were in that sticks out with you the most? There was one we did Into the Woods and I was like, this is so cool. They do not fucking stop singing it into the woods. It's insane.

It goes crazy. Oh, you know the production? Yeah, I know Into the Woods, motherfucker. Shit. The whole thing. Collins over there like, Into the woods. It's five hours. Into the woods.

It's brutal. That one, I'm trying to think we did, we did Sweeney Todd too, which was like, it's crazy because, like. Bangor. So sick. And, like, I think that I was, like, so, like, nervous to, like, audition for it. But it was so cool. Is this, like, Delaware Children's Theater or something?

No, it was Cap Calloway School of the Arts. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, fucker. Wow. Wow, my fault, my fault. Dude, I'm just thinking, I'm thinking like, you couldn't have literally paid me to stay in my high school longer than I was required to be there. That's good.

The second that bell rang, I was fucking out of there. So all this stuff is so, it's so foreign to me. You're like, bye. I think I was very, like, I thought Cab was super cool. And I was like, this is awesome because I'm learning, like, the things I like to do. And the teachers are all so nice. which like that was one thing that like our class was not big living i think there was like 92 kids in our class or something like that how many were in yours colin three thousand holy fuck three

thousand your my my graduating class was 1100 yeah jesus yeah 92 so you know all those motherfuckers yeah i knew all of them like super well any descendants of washington or anything like that i don't think so any franklins I don't think there were any, Franklin. They're out there. Get the yearbook. Prove it. Yeah.

Get the yearbook, Franklin. Colin, you had 3,000 names on your graduation day? Yes. Holy shit. That's so crazy. I thought 1100 was a lot. It is a lot. Yeah.

We have the highest, the biggest high school campus west of the Mississippi. Whoa. Wow. Yeah, that sucked. So the campus had like over 10,000 kids. It was insane. Holy shit. It was mostly outdoors.

That's crazy. I've played Tony Hawk, dude. I know. Enough about Birmingham High School. I was going to say it was crazy. Like our graduating class, I was like, I literally know every person. Like, I've had classes with all of you. I've known some of you since middle school.

Some of you since high school. Like, this is crazy. That is insane. I can't even imagine. What were some other formative interests that you had that defined you? You're a big anime chick. I do. I do love anime.

and I also love gaming. I was going to say, I think that like reading manga and like watching anime has like still been something I'm super, super interested in. And then as far as like playing games, I play like a lot of like PlayStation games.

And then we also have a game cube, but it's like got a lot of old games on it. Hell yeah. It's really, really cool. You've been gaming lately? Yeah. One of the games that I play is super dumb. So don't judge me.

But it's called the Binding of Isaac. Oh, I love that game. Yeah, it's a great game. It's like you play as Isaac, but I think that like the boss battle is like you kill your mom. It's something like that. Sold.

Mom's got to go. Don't tell her. I said that. Are you playing a little game called Fortnite lately or what? I haven't been playing Fortnite. I was going to say, I think Brandon plays it more than I do.

Let's get on. Let's get on Fortnite. I'll be like, Colin, Fortnight time. That's every single. As soon as we wrap this today, I'm playing Fortnite. So if you want to log on. That's so sick. Run it with me.

I'll be like, Bo, where are you at? I'm going to do it for the group. Yeah. I'm going to do it. For the greater good. For the greater good, I'll do it. But I'm playing on my computer and I'm taking all you kids to school. That's good, though.

Yeah. I don't think so. Oh, yeah. You might be better than me behind the, The computer. No, no, console has better aim assist,

so really it would be more difficult. I don't have amicist on. It's built in, brother. I don't have it on. Hours of, that's off. It's totally off.

He said I never checked that. Yeah, that's not real. That's not real setting. It's propaganda. So you get into hardcore through terror, Glassjaw.

Around that age, what were some shows that happened in Delaware, Philly around you that stuck with you and made you think like, yeah, this is where I need to be. And what age would that be? Honestly, I think I started going to shows when I was like 13. Yeah. And then I'm trying to think like what the first show was that I saw that I was like, what the fuck?

This is so cool. Because there was like a venue that was like really close to my house called The Grange that was like basically just like a music hall like little venue. Like did you lean into head? year type stuff. Yeah. Like honestly, most of the music that I listen to, it was like hardcore death metal and then like grind core even,

like depending on like whose band it was. I was like, that's fucking sick. He played this band and this one. Yeah. Right. Which is like awesome. I think that's like another thing.

It's like sometimes you love a band. It's like, oh, that dude's in four bands. Like got to check them all out. You know it. Please. Please check them all out. that's awesome so eventually that evolved into you being part of the this is hardcore team

which is ultimately where we both of us met you that's true i think that like i honestly i don't even remember but i think i just punished joe into like being friends like i was just like thank you for this show it's so cool and he was like oh yeah no problem and i was just like cool like well and then you were the stage right backstage door girl yeah like three years that's true where it was it would be like a band like us playing the first time was like yeah the set was sick the fucking girl backstage is so nice like she works for you guys because like it seemed like she was like having fun yeah exactly it's a bunch of uppity old fuckers and then this famously lovely girl working the door somehow.

Who the hell is that? Where did you get her? I probably was like, oh my God, I'm so excited for you guys. Have an awesome day. Let me know if you need anything. That was verbatim. Yeah, yeah. Crazy.

You remember that. It's been 12 years. So how formative was doing those This is Harker working days for you? I think that like coming into it, I was just like super excited because it was like knowing the lineup and then like knowing the people like that always excited me because it's like if i liked a band then meeting them in person i was like this is so sick like honestly like i don't

think i ever met a band that i was like wow i love your music but you're a dickhead like which like i could have definitely felt that way but like there was nobody that treated me poorly you're tough to treat poorly man yeah i can't even imagine thank you that's yeah that's user error if somebody's got a problem with you it's on them 100%. Read the manual. Figure it out. I was going to say, if somebody was mean to me, I'd be like, kill yourself.

That's awesome. I was going to say that's so mean. I'm sorry. No, they should, though. It's fair. So, but after they kill themselves, were you in any bands before year of the night? The only other band I know, like, I think it came after year of the knife, but damnation's so main.

Which had been, you guys had been practicing too, and you play bass. As you started, yeah, you play bass in that like you started with your The Knife, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I was super excited because I was like, I already have this. So it's like I want to keep doing it. Yeah, right. So do you have any dexterity issues playing? Is that therapeutic for you to play an instrument in any way?

I don't think I have any dexterity issues. I think it's always like super exciting to play. Awesome. That's crazy. it's really really fun it's cool because it's like I think that like it's funny because it's like sometimes I like forget things but I never forget songs I'm like I don't know I fucking wish I had that You could have it

I had one minor hand injury one time and it has permanently altered like every single way I have to play every single song Damn so again I can't stress enough what just a general miracle you are. Well, I'm happy that you think I'm a miracle because I think you are. No. So, Year of the Knife is your first band. Yeah.

Which is insane. Congratulations. Thank you. On being the one person in the world with a good first band. Did you learn bass to join this band? Yeah, I like started playing bass like right beforehand. And then like I was like I want to play because I like knew the twins and B. And I was like I want to play with you guys.

Like I'm going to buy all this base stuff. And I was like very specific about like the things that I wanted to get and like the cab that we have and like the head and everything. See as as like if I'm someone who's like starting a band or starting to play with someone and I meet somebody or somebody who I know is like new to or whatever but they commit in that way, that's like all right. like they're going to take this seriously. This is going to be sick. You know, that's a cool. That's fun. That's exciting to hear.

It's cool because it's like if somebody's investing money and like what they're doing, it's like they're excited about it. Like they're not just doing it to like be a jackass. They're like, I want to be the best at this. That's the way to do it. Yeah. And it's fun to buy stuff.

You know, boy. Unfortunately, yes. Just fill up, fill up a credit card, start a hobby. It's fine. The hobby is your band's going to shred. like and then eventually you won't need

any of the gear because you're going to become the singer true so that's now you've got a bunch of stuff now you got stuff and it's cool

and another band that's true that's true and you know what's cool I was thinking about this today you guys when Mully left you guys did

one of my favorite things where you just went to a four piece yeah you didn't add you didn't find another singer you had someone who was already

singing some of the time just step up. That's like one of my favorite things that bands ever do. We were like, we're not going to replace you, but kind of, but also we're just going to like step up what we have. Should change. Was there any thought of, of staying on bass and singing? I don't think that really works for hardcore bands, but I think that I like could if I really wanted to, but that wasn't ever something that I was like, hey, let me sing and play bass. Like I was like, I'll do like, I'll just like sing straight up. And like if it's like cool, then that's what I'm like trying to do.

Colin, you know what I mean. It's hard for a modern biohazard to suddenly appear. It is. I mean, it's ever everything now like growth depends on audience participation. So yeah, you can't participate with nothing. You got to be really out of this world to make it work. Although, uh, uh, new age man. New world man.

Sorry. And that was only one. And it was sick. And it was sick. It was amazing. Yep. Do you remember your first tour ever as a musician? We did like a weekend and it was like northeast.

And then I think after that we did like a maybe like a 15 day tour like around the U.S. It was like super, super cool. Do you have a favorite tour that comes to mind? I don't have a favorite that comes to mind. I think that like when I think about it, I'm just like any tour that. that gets us close to Japan, like, let's do it. Yeah. That's really, that's it, is you exist so that you can one day exist in Japan.

Yeah. Exactly. See, you get it. Yeah, I get it. We do. I just went there as a tourist for the first time not to play shows, and I will say that's even better. So if you can do that. Was it so cool?

I mean, it's coming back here is like, fuck this. A piece of shit. Fuck all this. you're like this life is not for me like why this life is not for me i like the trash cans i'll give us that yeah send me back yeah other than that send me back um did you're the knife ever go to japan

i don't think that we ever got to play japan i think that like just going it was like brandon and i going and then staying with our friend juri oh love juri juri we love you i hope she's watching if she's watching we love you to do we really do zoomah if you're watching you got to bring your the knife to japan please zoomah uh how did you adjust to touring is it something that you adapted to well or is it something you're still kind of i think that i adapted well to it because like even when like you know all the shows that you're going to play and then we have like the same like procedure for like we're either going to stay with friends or stay at a hotel yeah so like we always

knew where to look for each place. And I think that makes it like really easy to travel. Does? That's the key. Even even traveling without a band, knowing the best way to check in and check your bags and having pre-check and like how to do all the shit, that's the best way to travel. So it's the same with touring is when you have it all figured out,

it makes it so much easier. It makes it better because it's like, oh, the hard shit is done. Like now I can just like enjoy the time that we're here. Yeah. Yeah. And you started singing just filling in one time on a tour. Yeah. I was going to say, I kind of like, I think that the first time I sang, I was like super nervous.

But then everybody was like, this sounds cool as fuck. And I was like, I want to do it all the time. Yeah. You looked sick, sounded sick. Yeah. And it was like, you stepped up when you had to. Right. Or else the tour wouldn't have happened.

Right. And that's kind of the most poetic. way to go about it where it's just like, okay, well, this is obviously, this is it now. Yeah. And do you like, so far, do you prefer singing over playing bass? I do, honestly, like, I think sometimes, like, I'll think of bass parts, but it's like I can always say, like, play this on bass here or, like, change that up. And then I'm like, I want to sing here.

Like, I think when I'm writing, it's like, I always think of lyrics first. Oh, interesting. Ah, interesting. Which, like. Do you do a lot of the writing with them? Yeah. like all of the um whenever that i'm like hey do you have anything new they'll like play it for me and then i'm like let me write to that or i'll pick like i'll hear them writing and i'm like that

sounds like this specifically like to me and then sometimes they're like don't write something super sad and i'm like it might be kind of sad like you don't tell vango how to paint you know that's the truth so true he's going to fuck it up either way in terms of music are you participating in like riffs and stuff as well um honestly like i think i don't like contribute with writing but sometimes if they're like writing new stuff i'll say like well play that verse riff again or like shorten that there have something that's like kind of like a slide down on that part yeah and like producer you're the producer mattie producer yeah you know just like telling them like this is sick as fuck play this

here play that like a little faster or like double this and they're like oh duh yes man yes my lord i was going to say i don't think i've ever asked for anything that they were like that's dumb as fuck they're like oh that makes sense you're coming from it from the most logical perspective right you know and and rifers don't think of things as singers that's true so there's a lot of time where they're writing something you're like brother i can't even talk over this what do you want What do you expect me to sing? I'm like, play this three times as long because what is going on here? Wow.

Exactly. Yeah, Colin, how do you, when you write God's hate stuff? Because you're kind of in both camps. I write with vocals in mind, 100%. 100%. But do you write drums and then a riff or do you write? No, riff. The hard part is like writing a riff and then if the riff is simple,

you can do more stuff on drums and even more stuff on drums. Right. and even more stuff on vocals. If the drum part is crazy, or if the drum part is simple, you go gnarly with the riff and let the vote. Yeah, finding a balance is the fun part of like,

okay, well, this isn't that cool. I can make it cool here. I can make it cool here. Gotcha. This sucks. This will make it not suck. Trust me.

Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, that's cool, though, because it's like the thing that you're focusing on, you're like, this is going to like really pop at this part because like, this might be like more chill,

but that that just like lets me sing crazier. Yeah. But you kind of have to trust, you have to like, the band has to trust you in a way. You're like, guys, I swear to God, it's going to be sick. Just wait. It's going to be cool. Just please do what I say. Exactly. That first tour where you did fill in and take over as vocalists, how did your voice hold up? What was it, what was your ritual like? The overall adjustment to just doing that. Like, how was surviving that first? run in Europe no less right I was gonna say yeah Europe honestly I think that it was just like make sure you stay hydrated like you don't want to be up there and like bitching that you're thirsty

like nobody's gonna be about that no and then I was just like I think day to day just like okay like this is how I'm gonna do vocals and like make sure that I'm like drinking well eating well everything's going really well which I know makes it sound like easier than sometimes it is but I think that it was just like, do the things that are right. Like, don't make it more difficult for yourself for no reason. Yeah. Time management and food management on tour is so important. It's such a boring, like, topic, you know, but it is so important to not like,

okay, if we do this, this and this, we can get back a half hour before we have to set up. It's like, no. Yeah. Not doing that. Like, I want to get there hours early. Like, yeah, like, I don't want to just show up and play. And if I eat one minute after this, I will throw up. Yeah.

Exactly. These are the things people don't think about. The things people don't know. You said from your theater days, and I know, because you would post stuff every once in a while of you, like singing, singing, you can sing, sing. Yeah. We have a soft band, too. What's the soft band? I'm going to like mess up the name

But I think it's ninth cage What does that name mean? See that's the thing It's like I can't like explain that I think that Brandon thought of the name And I was like that one is fucking cool There were eight other ones And then they got to the ninth one

That's true See you get it I get it Were you doing any Of those vocal warmups That warmups that you would have taken From theater and stuff? Do you do anything like that?

before you sing before you I honestly like before screaming singing I don't like do the same warm ups I did from just singing singing but if I wanted to like sing sing there's like a whole like like there's a whole like series

yeah yeah done done exactly see you got it Colin does it absolutely Colin's like I'm ready to go it sucks I'm not ready to go trust me no I'm cooked

Listen to me. I'm shot. So you could just pull out that, that screaming voice whenever you need? Yeah, yeah. I was going to say that's like something that like it's just like stuck with me really, really well. And I think even sometimes when I'm like, oh, I forget things a lot. It's like I never forgot how to sing thankfully. That never goes.

That's like right. Literally like riding a bike. It's just muscle. It is. It's like it's there. You can do it just like make sure you want to do it when you're doing it. Are you familiar with the question that we ask our guest, the who do you do one? Oh, who do you do?

Who do you do when saying? I mean, you had to develop your singing technique and your stage presence on the fly on a tour as a previously established band. Who were you doing? Honestly, I can't even think of like a who would I do. Like I can think of like my favorite bands, but like I know that's not the same thing. I'll tell you, you kind of give corpse grinder. Oh, thank you. I like literally am obsessed with him.

Hard stance, giving it wailing. I love corpse grinder, so I will take that. This song. You do Wolverine and Corpsegrinder. That's like my go-to right there. Two legends. It's about shooting blood from your cock. Yeah.

Exactly. You guys would hear me say that and be like, what is wrong with her? The hell happened to me? No, we know what you're doing. That's the thing people don't think about too is singing in a band is kind of the most vulnerable position you can be in. So not knowing exactly how you're going to move and perform, as it were, is like, especially to do it on the fly, not easy. I think that a lot of people think like, oh, it's going to be easier. Like, even if you can play like this instrument, like you're going to be fine.

It's like, it's very intimidating. Like, everyone's staring at you and you're like, do I sound cool or do I sound like shit? Like, I don't know what they want me to sound like. And it's like, you just have to go out there and be like, I'm the shit. Like, this is fun. And like, just like, go for it. Yeah. Wise words.

Yeah. I don't think there's ever been a show that I was like, like, there's definitely been times that I've been nervous or I've seen him. But there's never been a point that I was like, oh, there's too many people. I'm going to sound shitty. like no because at that point it's like who cares how i sound this is going to be awesome yeah are you more nervous when a show is less good yeah i'm way more nervous when the show is like less packed or it's just like i feel like you're playing and it's like hopefully you like this because i don't know what the other three people in here are doing yeah absolutely that's the worst that's way

worse that's like it is not nerve-wracking to play to a packed room yeah it's like playing to a packed room makes it feel like, oh, everybody in here fucking loves us. Like, that's so sick. Or even, it gets to a point, like, like, Warp Tour or some of the fest in Europe that we've done where it's like, there's so many people that you just feel removed. Yeah. Like, you're watching a movie the same as they are. Like, you're not, it kind of removes the thing that we obviously love about hardcore, but you're just kind of doing that thing for that, for the sake of doing it. And that becomes another aspect of performance. We were like, oh, what are the doing that's crazy. You're like you look sick as fuck like and then and you know what's so funny dude it's

it's it's the like how are we doing over here. All right now how are we doing over here like yeah that's that's corny stuff but big crowds they love it. They're like fuck yeah. Dude, when I'm in the crowd for that one straight up. Yeah I'm like fuck yeah. When I'm in that when they're like how we're doing over here I want to make sure they know like no this section rocks the hardest because I'm in it. This is the section, yeah. Honestly, like when vocalists do that, I'm like, why can't I do a backflip? Like, this is so cool. Oh, my God.

She just did a backflip again to the audio listeners. It's crazy. She's so quick. I'm back with it. Tell me about recording your debut on vocals at the pit. Oh, that was at the pit. Wow. I think that I was just like super nervous, but then like recording, I was like, this is actually

going to be like really really cool and it made me like really grateful to be like working with him because I was like I could sound kind of shitty at some places and maybe like the producer wouldn't be like hey like tighten this up but he was very like supportive and very easy to record with and I was going to say I even like recorded for damnations the other day and I like texted Kurt and I was just like yeah I just recorded again he was like fuck yeah that's so cool and then he sent me a picture of his son and I was like oh look at him go that's awesome so god said he rocked it was crazy cool and it was like really cool that we got to stay upstairs yeah because it was like we got to stay there literally wake up and then we were just like go downstairs and shred like it's it's a

best case scenario it is we're recording cool neighborhood cool building sounds incredible so cool And it helps when the record is that good as well. Thank you. But you're right, though, Maddie, that, like, the mark of a good producer, engineer, whatever they want to, is someone who will not settle. Yeah, like, you want somebody to be, like, push that. Like, that one take you did was so cool, but make all of them like that. Like, you don't want somebody that's, like, I'm ambivalent.

It's fine. Like, yeah. There is room for some slop, you know, like, Colin, you and I were talking about it recently. where like human human yeah sloppyness can sound really cool for certain bands and certain styles and like whatever you're going for yeah but if you're trying to be a tight ass heavy band yeah kurt's got you covered he's got you you want to get the best performances yeah for sure i was gonna say i would do a track and he would be like let's redo that and i'll be like okay hold on yes sir you know best yeah and he you know he's such a pioneer of the music that we play yeah that especially if you sound like Year of the Knife, it's like, yeah, I'm going to trust this guy. Yeah, I'm going to listen to Kurt fucking Blue. Yeah, exactly. Like, that was, I think, the thing that I was like, any of his advice is like literally

the best. Like, you can't just be like, oh, no, I don't feel like that. Like, do what he's saying, I promise. That's half the reason you're there. Yeah. Yeah. So the writing dynamic in Year of the Knife, for this record in particular, do the twins write telepathically?

or do they have to communicate with words? I think that they do have to communicate with words, but a bit of it is telepathic because like sometimes Aaron will be like, Andy, do this on drums. And I'm like, what the fuck is he talking about? And then Andy does it. And I'm like, you guys are psychic or something because I have no idea. Do you ever confuse them?

I don't ever confuse them. I can always tell like, even when I see them together, I'm like Aaron Andy. If I saw them far away, I would still like know who is who. Do you have a favorite? I don't. I think that's a rough question. That's an unfortunate yes, but you don't have to answer it.

She's got a favorite. Just to the twins listening. Twins. Work it out. Work it out amongst yourselves. Twins, be nice. You said, do the twins write? And I immediately thought telepathically.

That's exactly what you're on our, we're on our twin shit, Beau. fucked me up. You guys are twins over here. Oh, I know. It's okay. You're twinning. We're in. Exactly. Who? I feel like you, the answer to this question might be you. Who is in your of the knife? The little fucker. That's got to be Brandon. That's got to be Brandon.

Who is the rascal? That's Brandon. I was going to say it is Brandon. It's not me. you would think it was me, but, like, I think that Brandon sometimes is just like, if somebody's being a little out of control, it's him.

Okay. Have you ever toured with them, Colin? I don't think so. Brandon, so when they play, Brandon will do this thing where he, like, ah,

like while he's playing, where he's just, like, so into the moment. And I feel like that moment is the, the noise suppressor off Brandon. Like,

that's him, like, just, like, opened up. The gates wide open. And, and, I could totally see it being him. Could just totally see that.

He's the rascal. Because the twins barely talk out loud, like you said, probably telepathically most of the time. Yeah, they're communicating. Do they have some sort of language that they've made up themselves from when they were children? I don't think so, although maybe I'm wrong and they do have it. Like, who knows? But I think that like... It's sign language like Dune.

They're together right now, like speaking at being like, these ding-dongs they don't know what we're doing like they don't know shit i think i always say stuff to them that i'm like are you guys like psychic with each other and they're like you're a pain in the ass and i'm like sorry damn that means that's another yes that's that is a yes that comes from deep deep insecurities of of hiding telepathy that's what i'm saying but you're wolverine now they're you're You're the X-Men. Yeah. Exactly.

Holy shit. They got to let you in. You guys get it. We do. Take your time with this next question. Okay. Pardon this interruption. We've got to talk you about some very important things.

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If you use code hard lore, you get 20% off and free shipping and you don't ever have to worry about Bo's dad ever again. Back to the episode. We recently started a little thing called Hardlore Letter Mashed, where we ask guests their four favorite hardcore albums of all time. Any area, genre, year, whatever, just a release. Any four records?

Yeah. What are Madison Watkins's four favorite hardcore albums of all time? I think that I do, okay, so this is like not a, like the album, but like the band first. Sure. Okay. I was going to say, I like think Glassjaw is one of my favorite bands, deaf tones, hair, and then hate breed. Okay. Yes. Now, what if Deftones was disqualified for not being a hardcore band? Who would you say?

Deftones not qualified. What if I personally disqualified them? You're like, get them out of here. I'd be like, fuck, I love them. Deftones, if you're listening. Deftones, don't take it to heart. Just kidding. Maybe this will help you think. So let's do your Hape-breed record. Which one would you choose? Hate breed Satisfaction is the death of desire Which I always just call satisfaction

Because of course I think that's on most people's Mount Rushmore For a reason It's the goat It's so sick What would your terror record be? Do you know the one that's got like hardcore for hardcore on it? Is that the hard way?

Always the hard way? Always the hard way, yeah Or is it damn the shame? to dang, always the hard way. That's a, that's like deep cut answer. That's awesome.

Always. Always. Always. Always. Always. Let me look it up. That's a great answer. Damn the shame.

I think it's always the hard way. Yeah, it is. Which glass draw record would you say is? I'm not, I'm not like super familiar with their work. So what would you recommend to me? I'm more of a head automata guy.

My third pick is glass straw, everything you want. wanted to know about silence. Oh. So sick. That was so quick right off the top of her head. I got to check it out. As I've said, I'm more of a head automata guy.

It's so sick, though. God, damn. Is there a fourth record that you think would be the big, the big final spot? Heavier than heaven, lonelier than God. I think that blacklisted is like crazy good. And I got to see them at the church in Philly and it was like so cool. The recent time? that was the day before our show there where I saw the twins yeah it was the day before they were loading out the day when we were loading it

bangers four bangers bangers again I have not heard the class draw one I'm more of a hell automatic a guy but I will I'm working on it you get to this one you're going to be like damn this is sick as fuck she was right I'm I'm excited to do it as soon as we wrap this uh heavier than heaven uh you're I think you're the second or third person to say that since we've started asking this question. That was straight up a fucking landmark record for our generation. It was a C-Change. It was so cool. It's also like I'm trying to think where I found it from.

And I literally think that I was downloading like terror shit and like it was just like in there. Really? Yeah. Like I think that I looked up terror and it was like here's like another band and I was like, that's cool. Like download. Man, I will never forget. The day that came out, that is a great example of a band evolving and not changing in that time.

Because that record sounds so different than Beakos on. Yeah. Was somehow exactly what people that loved them wanted to hear. They knew it. I remember they did multiple record release shows. There was an East Coast one. There was a Chicago one. There was an L.A one.

And I remember being like, holy shit. You can do that. You can do that. And it was like, it was literally like a mind-breaking for me. You're like, they're flying to their shows. Like what the fuck is going on? Yeah, this is fucking crazy. Yeah.

No, that is true. That is real. Couldn't believe it. Is there a Delaware hardcore Mount Rushmore to you? Like the four Delaware hardcore bands that define this great state. Yeah, a year of the night for 100%, pretty tough to deny. Ninth Cage See he's on it

Domations Domain See you're already on it Donations damn main Donations damn main Damn main I'm trying to think Like what are bands I don't think I know many Delaware bands

Honestly I'm trying to think if I like Know more bands from around here And I think I'm just like I'm definitely thinking of bands that I'm like, you are not from here. Yeah. Because you guys have,

you cross-pollinate with Philly so much, right? We do, yeah. And it's like, anything that we want to do, like, a lot of times, it's like, do you want to play in Philly? Do you want to play in Delaware?

We'd rather play in Philly. It's probably going to have more people at it. Right. Because Delaware people are going to go to Philly, but Philly people aren't going to Delaware. That's true. Yeah. Is Simulacra?

Simulacra is sick. And I think that they're from like Maryland, even though they're like kind of Delaware. Yeah. Interesting. But they're like really, really cool. Would they count as the fourth? I think they would count as the fourth. It's also funny because like Dom don't get mad at me, but I'm always like, Sim.

And he's like, that is not our name. Just forcing a nickname on them. Big Sims. Yeah. Have to force it. People calling us twitching is like, that's not even. even the noun and the word and the phrase, you know. You're like, please shut up.

The tongues, baby. Just call it the tongue. Dude, people, people call us harms. Yeah, harms. I mean, that's Jamie Morgan. Nobody people don't call you harms. Jamie Morgan calls you harms. No, no, no.

More, Jamie definitely does, but other people have for sure call us harms. They've like heard him do it. They're like, he's the shit, I'm going to do it too. Like, no. Harms is so good Just say the whole name It's one more syllable

I know I've heard people say harms I genuinely have heard people say harms And I'm like why You can't shorten your The knife like that so that's nice That's true Some people will just say YOTK Which is one of the songs

Yeah that song's awesome And then I'm like that's cool too Do what you will But if they were like knife I'd be like What the fuck is that? I don't know what it is How long have you been straight-ish, Maddie?

Honestly, it's like, I think I claimed, like, when I was either 17 or 18. Oh, wow. But I, like, there's never been, like, a point in my life that I was, like, I need to try, like, drugs or drink. I was like, I don't need to do this shit, like, at all. Yeah. Wow. And I think, I know this is, like, really mean, but I think just because, like, both of my parents were alcoholics.

I was like, I never want to like do something that I'm going to like definitely be obsessed with. Yeah, no, that's totally fair. I don't think that's mean at all. I think that's like the most grown thing, the cognizant decision you could have possibly made. It's quite literally the same decision that I made. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like, oh, I've seen it like literally the worst it could be. Let me not do that. Like. And now you play in like a premier band. lying that flag. One of one of the last straight edge bands. I was going to say it's always like crazy to me when I'm like, I love this straight edge band. It's like, oh, but the like bass is broke. Did you hear? And I'm like, the fuck? Like, why? But sometimes that shit happens. It's like. Why? Why? Why? Why did the bassist break? I don't think Casey ever was luckily.

No, he's fine. It's fine. Three out of five is fine. Anyway. Three fists there. That's basically 100%. Come on now. All original members. All original members. 100% true that that's almost 100%.

Facts. Maddie, do you remember the last conversation we had prior to the accident? I'm trying to think I... It was live on Hardlore. Oh, Hardlorn. You FaceTimed me while we were recording. Oh, shit. Was I like, oh my God.

And it was one of the rare times. It was one of the rare times I did not have my phone on Do Not Disturb. And I was like, fuck yes, call it time. And you ate in and out live on Hardlore on FaceTime. I probably was like, I have to call you. I've never had this before. It's going to be awesome. 100%.

Do you recall that glorious meal that you had? I think I got like a burger and fries and then like a. A sprite with it. Uh-huh. Gorgeous. Beautiful. You know. When you got out of the hospital, when you got home and you were kind of, I'm sure when you were at a certain point in the hospital, you were able to get stuff in if you were not wanting hospital food or whatever.

When you got home, what did you want to eat? What was something that you were like, fuck, I need this. I need the Wawa pizza or whatever. The Wawa. I still haven't had the Wawa pizza. Don't. I was going to say. What's your, what's your Wawa order, Maddie?

Are you doing the slam voice? Can we hear the slam voice? She's in stitches right now. She's having a fit. I am. That's like my life. I'm trying to think you were saying, what do I order at Wawa?

Yeah, when you go, what's your order? When I go to Wawa, I get, Usually like an Arizona green tea and then I get like a chicken cheese steak or I get like Oh. Sometimes they do the cassidia like a chicken and cheese cassidia is really good. Mmm. Ooh. I've never had a cassidia from there.

If it's if it's anywhere near Thanksgiving, I get the gobbler, obviously. The gobla. The meatball is fucking unbelievable. It's beautiful. I would put that over many independent delis in the country. Yeah. Good to know. It's excellent.

And the fucking died Arnold Palmer was incredible. Arnold. Yeah. Did you see Liquid Death had to change the name of the armless Palmer? Really? It's called the dead billionaire now. I would imagine because Arnold Palmer's estate wasn't too happy with it. Oh, right.

I was going to say they were probably like, hey us or we're going to sue you. Yeah, yeah. I saw that recently. Liquid death was like, go fuck yourself. I haven't had it yet. Don't need it because the damn monster rehab, Arnold Palmer, is so fucking good. Holy shit. Tell me about starting Candy Corps, Maddie.

How did you develop this unique art style and how did you hone that and get started? honestly I think starting candy corpse I was just like I thought of the name because I was like I fucking love cannibal corpse what if it was cute and then I was like candy like take the word cannibal away because that's a little scary and then I was like it's okay if it's still got scary like influences just make it like more cutesy yeah sure and then when I was like working on it I think that also just like working with my friends that did tattoos I was like this is so cool like the things that you guys like and the things you tattooed on people. Like, I want to make that into something you can wear, which I think that was like a big part of like why I was like pushed with candy corpses. I was like make cute shit that you can like accessorize with. Yeah, were pins your first? Like enamel, enamel pins were the first real media. Enamel pins were the first. And then from there, I went to key chains and then purses and then Oh, yes. I actually did belts too.

And everything's like very like if it's a belt, it's like it's a heart has a heart buckle. And like it's like got cute stuff with it. Gorgeous. And are you the primary artist behind Candy Corpse? Yeah, yeah, I am. I saw an update from Brandon recently on Twitter that you started drawing again and started designing again. Yeah, I was going to say it's been like really, really fun. Like I like drawing a lot.

So it was like getting back to it, I was like, oh, this like feels natural. Yeah, sure. Which like I think you probably feel like with like bands too. It's like playing music feels natural. Like for me, it's like playing music and drawing. I'm like that's kind of like what I was put here for. I agree. After seeing them drawings, I agree.

And making stickers for your friends. That's a very nice. Have to. Thing to do. We really appreciate that. So yeah, you plan on your first big kind of candy corpse drop back? Yeah, I was going to say, I was talking to Brandon about it because I was like, I want to do like something really crazy.

And I'm working with my friend that tattoos, Kim. She's like super, super talented tattooing. And I like gave her three ideas. And she's like drawing them up and then sending them over. Kim from Richmond? Yeah. She did this one right here. Whoa.

She did my in love. there's no law. Thanks, Kim. Kim, we love you. We do. Yeah, she's great. Kim, you're sick as fuck. Well, that's all, I mean, that's going to be great. So everybody listening and watching, look out for that. That's, I mean, that you've put so much passion and time into that.

Yeah. The past few years that hopefully, I'm sure people are going to support whatever you do. Well, watching it blossom too from afar was something that was amazing. Because did you not do, excuse me, if I'm, if I'm wrong, weren't you doing laminate design for a minute. Was that? Yeah, I was. I'm trying to think

like, and I can still like do them. Like if somebody was like, I want you to like do tour passes for us, I'd be like like, yeah. Because it's just like printing them out and then like cutting them. Yeah.

And like the size. But was that like I'm trying, I guess what I'm asking is were you always designing stuff as you got into hardcore or was it the other way around? I think that it was like the other way around. Like I got into hardcore and then I started working with design.

Like I think that I wasn't like already designing and then like found the music. Yeah. Now that Candy Corpse is coming back, you're at 100%. You're feeling like you're the knife is ready. I am. Do you have, is there a dream lineup that you could put together off the top of your head of like the perfect show back? it's tough to say like it's tough to pick bands that

would like because sometimes I'm like the bands that I love so much I don't know if they would play with us they're all saying yes yeah everybody's saying yes let's say in this world

they all say yes money is no object money's no object and it wouldn't you couldn't even believe it but that that weekend on the calendar wide open for all of them wide open wide open

honestly and I know you guys are going to be like you're just saying this because we're here, but, like, I would fucking love to play with Horm's way. Oh. Like, I would just be like, oh, my God. Got to get harms on there. Horms.

And then I would be like, where the fuck is twitching at? Yeah. We're on our way. That would be sick. I would be like, fuck yeah. Okay. Sold. Sorry that you guys play in such good bands.

I'm going to punish you about it. You know what? It ain't punishing. you're our friend. Yeah. Okay. It's not punishment when it's true. Exactly.

Before we get into questions from our listeners, in your mind, right? You're deep in recovery. You don't know what the time like is like. The timeline is like, even on being back home. I guess you didn't know where you were until you were back home. What are, what's going through your head at home recovering? thinking like, I need to do this.

I need to get better. I need to kick ass so that I can do this or I can see this. What were the things driving you during the most difficult time of your life? I honestly think that during the most difficult time, I was just like, I want to be like good enough to play again. Like I don't want to just go to shows. I want to play shows. Which like I know like even going to a show is like a big thing. but then like being like, I'm ready to play.

Like I think that's something that like I kind of pissed the twins off with because I was like, I really want to. And they were like, just wait till you're ready. And I was like, I'm ready. Like what else do I need to do to be ready? But I think that like, I mean, it's different for everyone. But I think that like when you're like at the point that you're like, I'm ready to play shows and I'm ready to like be back in the scene.

Like you don't want to just like be watching like if you can play. Yeah. Have you been to a show other than blacklisted? Have you been to any smaller shows or anything? I'm like trying to think the, I think the last show I went to was, fuck, was it Jarhead Fertilizer? Cool. Oh, hell yeah. Cool. And it was like in Maryland. So it was like not super far, but like a little bit of a drive for us. Yeah. So you're back. You're in gig mode. Big mode. So watching bands is just like, God damn it. Yeah. Get me up there.

Get me back here. Yeah. You see it and you're like, this is fucking sick. I want to do it too. Yeah. Right. Of course.

And it'll feel like the first time all over again. It will. And I'll be like, that's awesome. Like, let's get it. It will be one of the great, triumphant moments in the history of hardcore.

And obviously we hope to be there. Yeah. I'm just, we're happy for you. Excited to witness it. Yeah. I'll be like, call it about it.

I hope so. If you say it, we can go back to this and be like, wow, she really said it. She said it. We've got to fuck it up. All right. Well, we'll go now to some questions from the listeners. First question from Jan Boyga, favorite Sailor Scout. Oh, that's such a hard one.

I know this is like an easy, but like, Sailor Moon is so sick. but then I'm like Sailor Minimoon. I think I like even more. There's a mini moon? Minim moon. Tell me about Sailor Minimun's daughter. She's the one with like pink hair and she's got the two pig tails. Sailor Moon has canonically given birth?

Yes. This shit's crazy. I think that her dad is the guy that has like the, he's like in a tuxedo and he's got like a big hat on. Oh, that guy? Yeah. That's Sailor Moon's baby daddy. I'm pretty sure. If you look it up, if I'm wrong, then just be like, Maddie, what the fuck?

No, I like this theory. The guy. That's Papa. Yeah, the guy, the fucking guy from the meme. That's right. That's right. Yeah, the Bloodborn Transalegory meme. That's that one.

What is the ultimate movie viewing snack? Whoa, movie viewing snack. I think it depends, like, are you at home or are. are you at the theater? Because if you're at the theater, I think it's like candy and popcorn. And then if you're at home, you might be like,

I went out and got dinner and like maybe it's something simple like pizza. I don't know. I feel like I can't like go to the movie, like new movies without popcorn though. That's, you're a popcorn guy? I'm not a popcorn guy.

I love popcorn. I'm a huge popcorn guy. I think in theory I like forget that I'm a popcorn guy. I'm a dibs guy. Dude, dibs are great. I'm a, dibs are the first thing I'm buying

at the movies. A bunch of crunch for me, or Reese's pieces. Love Reese's pieces. Rees. My God. So good. You don't fuck with peanut butter?

I'm, I'm ambivalent to peanut butter. Okay. All right. I accept peanut butter. Okay. I'm not like a peanut butter. I'm not a peanut butter guy,

you know? Neither am I. I just love Reese's pieces. I can't. That's fair. I love Reese's puffs. Oh. That's top five all time.

Maddie, what's the best cereal of all time? Best cereal of all time? Oh, man. I'm trying to think, what is that one? It's like the honey bunches of oats. It's funny called Honeybunches of Oats, Gurley. You got, that's a banger. Dude, that's the crazy thing about cereals.

There's kind of no bad cereal. Like, even grape nuts, you can like spruce up a little and make them rock. You can make it work. You're like, I'll add sugar to this and it'll be fine. That sounds incredible. But a classic bowl of raisin brand. I'm out there. You got, you lost for there.

I love raisin brain. If it was just brand, I'd be in. Raisins are in a front of God. Let's be honest. He's like, get those away. Get them away. We don't need him. The raisins are as if a food scientist was like, what if this, what is it?

It's a grape, right? It is a grape, yeah. So some scientists looked at a grape and said, what if this fucking sucked? How do I make this suck ass? What if this died? What if this died and tasted worse? I guess my answer in reality is cinnamon toast crunch, which is, or cinnamon life?

Cinnamon toast crunch is the eternal number one goat. Yes. I love cinnamon toast crunch. I thought you were like dissing it for a second. I was like, whoa. It's number one. Yeah. It's undenial.

I think you're right. First hardcore band that made you want to spin kick. Oh. made me want to spin kick. Yeah. This is serious. I feel like I know I'm like talking about them a lot and it's going to make me a ding dong, but I think that like just hearing terror, I was like, damn, like this is so cool.

Why don't I mosh? 100%. I mean, that's designed for spin kicking. Yeah. It is. I was thinking, sorry. Oh, no, I was just going to say it's like super cool to see them live because it's like people that you know or don't know are just like going.

just like going fucking nuts and you're like yeah yeah yes it's the best i think colin i've thrown one spin kick in my entire life really it was it no it was uh the killer record release was the killer yeah yeah it's on film um this is a this is an interesting question what are some songs that have just inspired you hardcore or otherwise beautiful hardcore or otherwise um i think the first song that i think of is that song Lois of the Low? Amazing. Amen.

Loest of the love. Do you like a lot of non-hardcore music? I do like a lot of non-hardcore music, but I do like a lot of non-hardcore music, but I tend to listen to like more hardcore and like death metal. Yeah. You're fucking awesome. Thank you.

Because like one would, I don't know if you remember, but I always gave you shit because I always thought you were vegan for a long time, remember? Just every time I saw her, I was like, why are you eating that? It's not vegan? You know, it was just, it became a bit. And you're like, that chicken cassidy is not vegan. I was like, yeah, what are you doing? That's real.

But you just weren't a burger chick. Not a burger chick. Still not. Wow. I'm a burger chick. I'll tell you what. You guys can be the burger chick that I like couldn't be. That's just what it is.

We will pick up that mantle. No problem. Easy. Easy. Miguel asks favorite boba plus drink combo Whoa And then says much love from Miguel Lydia and Monica Oh

Honestly I think that like if I was picking It would be like a honeydue boba Is so good That sounds awesome It's like super sweet but like not like overly sugary It's just like a sweet flavor Refreshing Refreshing, yeah

Big fan You love honeydubo? I do. I think Cattlelop and Honeydew are delicious. The man, the myth, the legend over here. People hate on Honeydew. I love it. Front page.

Bo loves Honeydew. Next question from Burton P. It sounds cliche, but how has being a woman in hardcore change since she has been around? I feel like there are a lot more women in bands today than when I was young. Always been there, but it feels like we are seeing a positive shift in recent years. I would say, like, maybe it's... a positive shift, but I think that if you love a band, a lot of

times it's just like the band's sick as fuck. You're not like, oh, I love this because there's a girl in it. It's like, who cares that a girl's in it? That's how I feel about it. Like, if there's a band I like, I'm like, I don't give a shit who's in it. I want to listen to this. And like, obviously, the more people listening to your band

the better, no matter what, we would all agree on that. But like, there has to be a little bit of resentment when if you guys went from one level when Mully was still singing, And then you start singing and then you get like, oh, well, you know, it's kind of like. Yeah. It's insulting.

Like it's like, oh, it's a girl now. It's like the girl says fuck you. So I don't know. You're awesome. And there's a reason why, you know, an hour and 25 minutes into this, we, that has not been a subject we have touched upon. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Because who gives you shit. That's how I feel. Like, I think that like, yeah, it's interesting and like I'm definitely interested in groups that have girls singing, but it's not because they're girls. Like, I don't give a fuck like who is playing what. I just like the end result. And of course, that is that is not to say that we don't

obviously want everything to be as inclusive as possible, but to blanket give something attention because of X, Y, and Z is just kind of disingenuous in itself. It's like backwards. It's like support what you like, but don't like it just because there's a girl. Like, who cares?

Interesting. But at the end of the day, I will say, there's kind of nothing cooler in the world than a girl that rocks. That's true. That's fair. She kicks ass. It is what it is. Like,

damn, she rock. What was that song we listened to like three times on repeat in New York? Which one? Varuka Salt, I think. No, that's,

you're thinking of Republica. Is that what it was? Ready to go. Did you, baby? Did we listen to it? That's the greatest song of all time. We listened to it like five times. That's the greatest song ever.

I don't. think I know that song. Oh, you know it, Maddie. I'm on the rooftop. I'm standing on the rooftop. Shout it out. Baby, I'm ready to go. What in the world?

Put it on after this. Okay, I will. I'll be like, pump it. Boom, bing, be, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, badee, bing. Oh, my God. Crazy riff. Zach Honeycutt asks, what do you think was the most useful tool you had in your rehabilitation process?

The most useful tool. tool. I think, I know this sounds silly, but I think it's just realizing that like, sometimes you're more self-deprecating than like anything you're going through. And making sure to like be positive and like put the work

in and look for like the end result as like your goal. So don't, don't like bash yourself, but also don't be so easy that you're not working for something. Mattie, you're a fucking genius. Thank you. Extended or theatrical Lord of the Rings

Oh Oh Send your theatrical I think that I've just seen theatrical So maybe I should see the extended version Oh you've not seen it I don't think I have Is it crazy?

It's awesome The fellowship is not that different There's a little more Okay Return of the King is where it's like Return of the beginning Yeah return of the king is Just bonkers?

Yeah. Yeah, without spoiling it, there's something in it that you're like, how was this not in the end of two towers? It doesn't make any sense. Or in the theatrical release, rather. What was going through your head during your first show singing for Year of the Knife?

Where was it in Europe? Fucking Hamburg? I'm trying to remember. I can't remember where exactly it was. but I think that like just like going back to shows in general I was just like overly nervous and I think that like being up there and then playing the show I was like we can do this like especially like if I'm the hardest person on myself it's like that's not important like just go have fun and then I made everything feel like natural what is the most underrated studio jibbley movie oh underrated Spirited way No, that one's like super I was going to say that's probably my favorite

It's the godfather Yeah, it is I'm trying to think They're all rated super high House moving castle is so fucking sick Yeah and that's like totally coveted What's the one with the big metal guy The iron guy

The guy that looks like the iron giant But it's definitely not the iron giant I know you were a fan of it Colin but I heard recently the most recent one wasn't received that well. Oh, I loved it. One best animated film. Did it?

It's incredible. It's incredible. Was that the boy in the herons? Yeah. Yeah. I saw that in theaters and I was like, holy shit, this is so cool. It rips.

Somebody said, Year of the Knife Calendar Merch Item, when? Calendar? Like, year of the knife, calendar. What do they want each month to be? knives I mean like we could have like

knives with each one of us that would give you four months yeah that would be good and then after that it could be like me trying to stab them that's eight months right there there you go that's 12 need more me being crazy with the knives maybe just four of the months or like that done the major seasons one billion units sold

somebody said I see your bass player who is your husband Brandon wearing insane clown posse shirts from time to time is the rest of year of the knife also down with the clown I must know

Brandon's favorite bands are Metallica and ICP which like what a weird guy strange dude I think that I like I think I maybe the only reason

that I like ICP is because he puts it on. Because I don't think that I would have found them otherwise. I don't think that's something that I would ever look up or be like, oh, they're fucking sick. I don't think you would have either, Maddie. Like, they've never been recommended to me by anyone.

No, nor should they. What's funny is today at the record store, I found a year of the knife, the first record. Oh, cool. And then I went to like the fancy singles section. It was like a little small like seven inch section. And there was an ICP,

Christmas 7-inch for 50 bucks. Jesus. Yeah. Brandon would have loved it. Brandon would have been like, we gotta get this. TV show slash movie recommendations from this year?

Movie, I would say the last one I saw, which was a boy in the hair, and that was really cool. And I also saw the new Godzilla versus King Kong. Oh, shit. Oh, did you like it?

I loved it. I didn't think that I was going to like vibe with King Kong so much, but I was like, he's so cool. He's just like me, though, I would say, King Kong. King Kong is sick. If you're like, that's me, it's like he's cool as fuck, so that's cool.

Is Kong, Elvis, and Godzilla the Beatles, or is it the other way around? What? They say in life, you're a Beatles guy or you're an Elvis guy. Oh, wow. I mean, is anybody a King Kong guy over Godzilla? I might be. Are you serious? I like him more.

I think Godzilla's awesome, but I just like King Kong. I think he's cool. Like, King Kong's just big and hanging out. Yeah. Not movie. Obviously, the movies are fucking.

Like the, no, no, like the creatures. You prefer Kong over Godzilla. A giant hard ass ape. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. But I like that Godzilla,

I love that like he always comes back, you know? He always comes back, dude. I think he's sick as fuck. Hey. I think the Beatles are cool. I like Elvis more. You know what I mean?

But I think it's design-wise. You got to look at Big Monkey, which you know I'm all about, obviously, versus perhaps the most brilliantly designed creature, fictional creature, arguably fictional, in history. Yeah, I get it. And also all the various villains and everything from the Godzilla universe. Incredible.

I just, I like Big Monkey. I like Big Monkey. Hey, I like Big Monkey. Can't argue that. I was going to say like seeing the last movie, I was like, I like Godzilla way more. And then I think it focused a lot more on King Kong. And I was like, he's really fucking cool. Like, I never thought of that before.

So if you go into the movie and you're like, Godzilla should be the butt like the best one, be like I'm going to like King Kong after this. I do. I mean, you got to do that if you're going to put them together or else it's just not going to be fair. Godzilla's God. you see Dune, Maddie? Dune? Yeah. I did. What'd you think? What'd you think? I loved it. Nice. I was like, this is so fucking sick. And Brandon's reading Dune and I was like, I can't wait to read that after you.

Nice. It's like a huge book. I've tried several times. And quite literally, the first couple pages, it's like, oh, my fucking God. You're like, is this work or am I going to enjoy this? Like, I couldn't do it. Can't read. Can't read. Somebody asked, why does the band rock so hard? Why does the band rock so hard? I think because we all get along, like, super well.

And, like, I think that I've never been in a band where I was, like, everybody, like, hates each other and, like, what is this practice accomplishing? Yeah. Right. Well, thankfully, you've also only been in this band and one other, right? Which is pretty awesome.

It's really funny to think of the dynamic of a husband and wife and then twins. Right? Yeah, of course everyone gets along. You know, like, that's hilarious. You're like, it's basically two of the same people twice. Yes. Yeah, you guys.

Once you guys figure out husband, wife, telepathy. Yeah. Game's going to change. And when you do, could you let me know? I was going to say, I'll let you know. You'll be the first person to know. Fortnite is the closest thing I found to husband and wife telepathy. Hit it.

I was going to say, Brandon will talk to you, but it'll be me. It'll be my thoughts. and you'll be like, what the fuck? Finally. You guys got to fuse like Dragon Ball Z. What is your favorite place you've been on tour? I think California, which is like wild because it's like,

it's always been like really, really fun to play out there and just being out there. Like it's really, really cool. Yeah. It's the best place for sure. It is. And like in America, like I think that there's different. places on the East Coast that are fun.

But being on the West Coast and being in California, like, I'm like, I like so much shit around here. Like, it's so neat. And it's like everybody that comes to the show is so excited for you that it makes it easier to play. I mean, I feel like next time you come here is going to be unbelievable.

I'll be like, California what the fuck is up? And now they've heard this. They're going to be like, wow, we better go off. They're going to be like, holy shit. She said she would do that. She said our state. Do you have a favorite straight-edge band, Maddie? Earth Crisis is sick as fuck.

I had such fomo of your show the other night that I was on a huge throwdown kick since then. Dude. Fucking it up. Unreal. Beyond repair, it's fucking awesome. Is throw-down your pick, Bo? It's probably you through today. Okay.

But then I do think, like, when it comes to, like, overtly, like, not, like, hiding behind metaphor straight edge. Yeah. Yeah. Throw it on fucking ribs, dude. I mean, it's ironically for me, it's Earth Crisis floor punch, easy. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Floor punch is definitely up there. Don't get me wrong. Floor punch is so cool. I think I do like Earth Crisis more though because I think they're like heavier. Like their riffs are like so fucking cool. Yeah. And they're all still edge and they're all still vegan. That's so cool. Honestly, I know it's dumb, but it's like I think some bands like they're like,

oh only for a little bit and I'm like what is the point? Yeah. Don't be straight edge. Nobody's asking you to. Exactly. It's for yourself. Right.

Favorite anime. Right now I'm like between Fully Kuli and Jiu-Zun. Hell yeah. Wow. They're both like super, super cool. Fully Cooley was a 2 a.m. adult swim. The good shit.

standby yeah straight up really always on at 2 a. Adult swim was like you're awake watch the best show. Yes exactly. Holy shit you're awake. Check this out. You're not going to believe this. What was the process like for doing the year of the knife lofi mix thing that Pure Noise put out? Oh, I think that the lofi mix, I think that they worked on that and then just like sent it over it. Here's this. I think that that was like something that I don't. remember like emailing so maybe brandon was like emailing about it that makes sense and then because i don't remember them like sadly i don't even remember them like asking about that well you've been through

a lot so i think it's okay my noodle's a little you know the noodles a little cooked yeah it's totally fine um speaking of pure noise something i didn't bring up earlier that i definitely should have is like how cool it is that they decided to not take a dime from from no love loss. I can't think of another label in the world that has done that or would do that. That honestly, like, blows my mind still. Like, even just, like, knowing it, I'm like, you guys, like, believe in us and aren't doing it in a way that you're like, it's profitable.

Like, they're just, like, supporting us and supporting. I think, like, all their artists, they're, like, really, really passionate about them. And not everybody gets that. Like, some people are, like, signed to a label. And it's, like, the label is just, like, making more. money off of you. Like, pure noise works their ass off for the bands they have and, like, deserves the best. Yeah.

It shows, you know. Yeah. They sent us a couple, like, treats recently just because. Yeah. Like, just out of the, you know, and it's just like, fuck. It's so awesome. Because they know that, like, we, yeah, and that we care and they get it. And it's fucking awesome.

And they're probably, like, passionate about the stuff that you guys do. Like, they're like, you work hard. You deserve this. that's cool. Yeah, it is cool. And you're right, Colin. I can't think of another, except for hard lore records.

I'll tell you what. Anything happens to Cosmic Joke. We're not taking a dime. Oh, my God. 100%. How the fuck did you get that scream at the end of last laugh to turn out so gnarly?

So gnarly. Honestly, I think that, like, the screaming that I was doing, I was just, like, stupidly nervous in front of Kurt, because I was just like, he's going to be like very brutal. And he wasn't. He was just like, you're doing great.

Like, just keep it up. And I was like, okay. So I think that like just getting it out, I was like, this is fucking cool. Like, I feel good about these songs. I feel good about the mix. Like, I feel good about recording with somebody that I respect so much. Which I think can be hard because it's like, I know that you pick where you record, but like the person that you pick, like,

you enough for you to record there. It's like, that's cool. Yeah, big time. It's in high demand. Yeah. It's going to be hard work wherever you go. But if it's like, I want to go to this guy. Like, I respect what he does. Like, if he picks you, it's like he loves us back. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. What do you think is the best song for a new listener who's never heard year of the knife to check out? Ooh. I feel like it depends if it's like live or listening because like If it's live, I feel like YOTK is fun just because everybody's like really into it. Yeah. And then like if you're just like listening, I still think like no love loss would be just like the one to like really listen to and like bang your head to it.

That's a good answer. Title track. Put it on. Banger. Put it on. Fuck it up. Somebody asked us favorite memory with Maddie slash year of the knife. At meeting you at this is hardcore was definitely like an impactful moment. in what would be an impactful weekful for week end for our band.

Just like the nurturing energy that you gave during this moment of chaos was just instantly like, oh, I can form a bond with this person right away. This person is lovely. And anybody you talk to truly says the same thing about you. And I think that is why it was. was such a no-brainer that like, oh, this person needs help. Okay, I'm going to call everybody I know and make sure she gets it. That's awesome.

I have an answer that involves us both. And it was slightly before we like met Matt, Matt, Maddie, but like we kind of knew of each other. You know, us twitching in Harm's Way played Philadelphia in the Voltage Lounge. And I sang a preacher man part. She filmed it. And when I, like, walked back after having finished it, she was like, yeah. Like in my face with it. And it was just like a funny moment, you know.

And that was literally it. I was probably just like, who is this preacher? Exactly. Top three, Animal Crossing Villagers, someone asks. Animal Crossing Villagers is like a funny one because it's like every animal that you can think of. I think that I love otter because the otters are really cute

sure and then they do a lot with like different fish and I'm not like a big fish person what's the fucking mayor's name Tom Nook? Yeah Tom Nook yeah that guy's a scumbag Yeah he's a piece of shit

He's like give me your money sucker He's a grifter Yeah straight up dude He's a fucking scumbag I got to do all this labor and pay for it. And I'm going to kill you, Tom. Straight up. I saw a thing going around today that was like,

what was a bigger cultural moment, something and Pokemon Go? Oh, the eclipse. And it made me, yeah, and it made me think about how everyone was playing, Animal Crossing over COVID, how like pretty much everyone got that game

and played it for two weeks. Just to be part of it. of the moment. Yeah. Yeah. They were like, I'm out here. Straight up. I didn't like it.

I didn't like it either. As soon as I held to build a bridge and pay for it with my own goddamn turnips, I said, this guy's a scumbaggy swindled me for too long and I won't stand for it no more. That's fair. Favorite Pop-Tart flavor? Pop-Tart flavor. This is near and dear to my heart. That one I was going to say, it's kind of weird because they'll collab with different, like,

candies and stuff like that and make it like a flavor. But I think that like my go-to is just a strawberry one. With frosted? Yeah, like it's frosted with the white frosting. Yeah, and those little. So I hate any like cross brand like a candy corn pop tart. Like I'm not into that, you know? You're like no.

I like the trip. But my favorite is the chocolate fudge pop tart. Oh, that's the only one I like. Dude, that's the best one. That's the most one. Oh, see, the Smore's one's also great. I like the chocolate fudge one. Interesting.

The Smoor's one's incredible. I think both of those are really good. They are. Are you an Overwatch chick, Maddie? I'm not like into Overwatch. Yeah, I don't know what. Somebody asked. Somebody was like, you play, and I'm like,

nah, I've seen it. I know of it, but I don't play it. You'd probably like it, but you got to play Fortnite first with me. I'd be like, call it it. It's Fortnite time. It's straight up Fortnite. done. How sick is it being married to your band and business partner must feel like some kind of mind-milled shit. On the flip side, what's something y'all do that makes the other want to kill each other?

Oh, that's really rough. I was going to say being with him is like, I think amazing. I don't have any negatives about it. I think that he's like, everything he does is something that I'm interested in and something that I'm inspired by. So it's not ever like, oh, I don't know what the fuck he's doing or like why he likes that. It's always like, I like it too. And then what was the second part of that? Sorry. What's something he does that makes you like, God damn it, Brandon.

I don't think. Knock it off. I don't think that there's anything that he does. Okay, this is the only thing. I feel really bad. But we went to a show recently and he like, got into like a fist fight with somebody and I was like

fuck because I feel like I don't think that I can like step up and do anything in that situation you don't have to nor should you the worst thing you ever see in videos are like people holding like their boyfriend's sleeves and stuff oh my god

you hear like stop it's like let him go he's fine okay so you support that I do support no No. Wow. Crazy.

I don't support the fighting. Beautiful answer. Madison supports violence. Intermarital violence. Gorgeous. You know, a couple of questions we like to ask all guests. Do you, Madison Watkins? What's your middle name?

Lena. Oh. Do you Madison L. Watkins? Believe in ghosts? I do. which like I think that's probably silly, but like I've always been silly about I've always been like kind of afraid that like I would see them at some point. Have you ever? I don't think I've ever seen a ghost that you know that I know of because if I did I'd be like, holy fuck.

Like I saw a ghost the other day. It's a motherfucking ghost. Colin, I've been waiting to tell you this. This is a true story. The other night I was I was in Milwaukee and in the hotel. room in a notably haunted hotel called the Fister P.F. in Milwaukee, I heard quick footsteps in the room as I was turning over. That is true. I did, but it could have been my iPhone cable falling or something. Falling, I don't know. I literally didn't investigate. I didn't have any kind of chill or feeling, but I heard. That is true. That's so scary.

Like rat sized or human size? No, like small humans, like child size. Dude. Ew. But what's the common thread I always point out? That's their, that's their gambit, though. They wait until you're tired because they're like, this dickhead is tired. They're never going to scare him now.

He's going to tell everybody he was tired and he's not going to believe him. So I got him. It's a win-win for them. That's the time the babies are like, I'm going to haunt his ass. Yeah. So have you ever seen or heard a spook specter or ghosts, Maddie? This is something that, like, I don't think I have. And I think there was like a point in time that I was like, I really want to see ghosts.

And then I was just like, there are no ghosts. That you've seen. That I've seen. Do you believe that Delaware is a haunted place? I think that like anywhere could be haunted. haunted. Like, I think that, like, people die everywhere. And I think that, like, it's their spirit not knowing, like, where to go from there. That's why, like, ghosts exist. Because they're like, I'm not alive. Like, what the fuck? So we got to check it out, maybe. We might have to.

It stands to reason that if the premise is, yeah, ghosts are souls. The more the older the place, the more people have lived there. Yeah. So, you know, and the more eastward you go in this country, the old of the place is by Western standards, you know, by imperialist standards. So, it would stand there were battles fought in in Delaware and stuff and it's true George crossed that some bitch on Christmas Day he really did

and that much hey you know I don't know do you guys believe in ghosts oh yeah no 100% not at all I'm a big ghost guy negative ghosts I was going to say I think they're real

but I don't think I've ever seen them yeah Like I've seen one I've talked about it a thousand times on here So I won't do it again Oh shit But I've definitely seen him Well the greatest thing about his story

Is when he went to the homeowner Who said and said something about it She said oh did you see her She backed it up She backed it up like immediately And that is a convincing like oh shit I don't know that's great With the gender and everything

I didn't even get there You know You're just like I saw this thing And she was like Oh with brown hair and this outfit And you're like, I said, is your house haunted? And she said, did you see her? Yeah.

Oh, my God. And I saw it. That's all there is to it. Yeah. You're, but no, it's good to know you believe. So we'll check this out further. We'll get some confirmation on your end. Also, and then to wrap this up, to wrap to our final question, we know, I know you loved your in and out because you showed me you eating the whole thing.

If, if your life is back on tour tomorrow. and you're eating your celebratory first meal together. After the show. After the show, first show is done. It rocked. Money came in. We're feeling great. We're ready to go.

Yeah. Where are you eating together? Honestly, if it's like around here, I feel like we would go to Wawa or Taco Bell. Which like, depending on what everyone's in the mood for. What if it was anywhere? anywhere. Yeah. Like you could pick any place together.

The show just happened to be by it. I think that I would be like, probably Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Beautiful. That's a great answer. Do those new crispy canteena, crispy chicken canteen tacos are fucking great.

Good to know. I haven't tried it yet. Excellent. I'll send a picture like, oh my God, this is sick as fuck. There we go. Please do.

Sick as fuck is the tagline for this episode, I think. It is. Maddie L. Watkins, sick as fuck. Maddie L. Watkins, colon, sick as fuck. That's the truth. I mean, it absolutely is the truth. We know. We thank you so much for the time that you've given us today.

We thank you so much for fighting this past year, for being with us, for the greater good of the world, we need you. And we're so proud and grateful to have you. are there any kind of closing remarks you would like to leave with the with the world the hard lore audience and the world hardler audience i was going to say i think you guys are sick as fuck and i like completely agree with what you're supporting because i support it too and i feel like being on it's like such a huge accomplishment for me oh so it's like being a part of this with like two amazing guys and anybody listening you guys are sick as fuck too keep supporting them keep being awesome. And I was going to say I just like really, really appreciate you guys having me on.

Absolutely. We couldn't wait. We were. Oh my God. We could not wait. I've been, I've been very nervous. Same. I was like, I don't know if I'm going to sound like a ding dong.

No. No, you didn't sound like a ding dong. Thank you. You did great. It's just so nice to hear your voice and see your face again. Yeah. Ditto. Seriously.

Well, thank you. And I hope that the next time we get to see you is you rockin. Big time. That would be so sick. I would love that. Whether it's playing with you guys or just like you guys at a show, I would fucking love that so much. I think we'll have to be there for whenever it happens.

Are there any likelihoods on the horizon without getting specific? There is. I was going to say, it's a little far out and I think that like I think that I swayed everybody's opinion in the right way and that we're like good to go. Okay. But it's not announced yet. Okay.

That's enough said. Enough said. Love that. But I'm excited. It exists and that's enough for us. Exactly. Maddie, thank you so, so, so, so much. We love you.

We appreciate you. It's so good to see you. thank you all for listening yep year of the knife no love lost out now hardlord uh nominee 23 hardlore awards for album of the year was nominated fuck yeah go check it out it's incredible uh mattie thank you again we will see you all next week bye