HardLore - Sharing Your Stories Vol. 1

Episode Date: June 26, 2022

Colin and Bo finally go through the HardLore email and share the stories submitted by the listeners.   HardLore: A Knotfest Series, Fueled by Monster Energy Edited by Steven Grise • Title sequence by Nicholas Marzluf Join the HARDLORE PATREON to watch every single weekly episode early and ad-free, alongside exclusive monthly episodes. Join the HARDLORE DISCORD for community discussions and to participate in our future Q&A episodes. FOLLOW HARDLORE: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER, SPOTIFY, APPLE FOLLOW COLIN: INSTAGRAM FOLLOW BO: INSTAGRAM, TWITTER   For sponsorship opportunities, email us! [e-mail] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

and welcome. Hello. It is, it's late hard lore time. Sorry for the delay. What's up, Bo? Now watch home, back home from my undisclosed location, the trip. It was successful. It was good.

It's all my liberty to say, frankly. So we should, we should say we were set to have a guest today. Today, the day of us recording this is like a weird day in the country. some some real bullshit was decided and uh roe v wade was overturned by the supreme court by a bunch of geriatrics who uh don't know how to work an iPhone and uh that's a problem

that's a problem i think life lifetime appointments by elderly people who I just like I can't I can't believe that anyone younger than like 40 or older than 60 is ever allowed to make decisions for other people. Yeah. For five generations of now adults.

Five generations of adults younger than them now. There's no excuse at this point. Women's rights, people who can give birth, their rights are being attacked. Trans rights are being attacked. They're talking about overturning gay marriage. now. Yeah, I saw that. Just any, any, and it's, it all comes down to Christianity. 100%. And like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the

of the gun debate is, well, what are you going to do when someone breaks into your house? Okay. And then there's another hypothetical of what are you going to do with millions of kids from unplanned pregnancies? Right. But that's just for whatever reason, it doesn't apply to that mindset. It never does. It's just, it's all about the unborn as George Carlin went on in a beautiful bit about

where it's just like, but once they're born, you know, get the fuck out of my side. You're not my concern. And I don't know. I listen to this. I mean, Ricky Jervase is obviously not 100% flawless source and all these things, but in terms of like the Christianity debate

where clearly six out of nine of the Supreme Court voted yes to overturn Roe v. Wade. And like what other reasoning is there other than Christianity at the end of the day? Like that's their religious belief. So those six people due to their insane religious belief, which is founded at like, Christianity, Jesus, God, you're taking all of that as fact and you're turning that into,

like the country was founded on the separation of these two things. Yeah. And these six people's personal belief put the lives of every person who can give birth in this country at risk. If the country, if that same legislative body decided anyone under the age of 25 or 21 or whatever, some arbitrary age, is automatically going to have an abortion. Like, no matter what, the state's doing it. People would be losing their minds.

And this just literally, it's just the same shit. It's body autonomy and it's fucking insane. I brought up Ricky Jervais, but I hate, I hate to do it. But like, the argument that like nobody has ever been able to argue for me is the, if you burned every Bible in the world, it would be. forgotten. That story would be gone. If you burned every bit of scientific information

ever, you'd get there eventually. Eventually. Again. Interesting. The same gravity would be proved once again. All the same theories and facts that we found after

thousands of years of research would be there again. And the fact that that's not what the laws, that isn't the foundation of our entire political structure. Yeah. It's, I feel like, am I, we the only ones that are sane? Yeah.

Like, am I going crazy? It's straight up, like, I know it's insensitive to say, and I know it's kind of a shitty thing, but I cannot wait for these fucks to just die off. Yeah. I'll tell you one thing that's 100% true. And I, well, at least from my anecdotally, which is not 100% true. But from my experience, like, I have a younger brother who is going to turn 19. Okay, he's very much a zoomer kind of kid.

Super nerdy hangs out on Discord all day kind of a thing. Ultra Christian maga parents, my dad and my stepmom are very, very right-wing, probably pretty pleased with today, I think, based on previous conversations. I know for a fact from conversations that my little brother and his friends, his peers, are like way much. more progressive than us. So I really hope, I mean, I know a pendulum always kind of does what it does, so it's kind of a scary thought. And I think we're going through it now, the conservative back swing. And it really sucks.

But, you know, you and I are fortunate to live in states that are going to maintain as long as it's not federally banned, which is fucked. But in the meantime, there's plan B on Amazon for $10. bucks. There's stuff in stores you can go and buy. And I really hope that men, women, others, everybody stock up, have some. Practice safe sex. Do what you got to do because no one's going to take care of us, but us. If you're in a red state and you need an abortion in the next year or so, straight up, hit me up. Yeah. I'll pick you up from the fucking airport. I don't have a car, but I would

I'd tell you where to eat. No, but I mean, it is one of those things where it's just like, it doesn't matter. It's just, we, yeah, well,

it's so fucked up. So it feels a little weird to be doing a podcast on a day like today. It was postponed because I was traveling and then our guests that we're going to be having on

eventually was unavailable and then today was kind of weird and it is kind of weird. It's kind of weird to be like, hey, when, you know, shit is,

shit's bad. But we have a plan. We're going to do a little... We have emails. The first the hard lore email grab bag episode, huh? Yeah. Haven't read them. Just going to go for it.

Omit things as I read. Okay. Names and whatnot. Maybe I'll do like first initial of the person who sent it kind of a thing and then the story. But we want this kind of

of stuff because let me tell you guys when Colin and I don't have a guest lined up and we just did a just he and I episode we don't want that we want to have stuff yeah yeah and hopefully this will inspire some of you guys

to also send emails and we could talk about your shenanigans this is also stage one of the evolution of something we're right the prototype that we're calling lore line we're very inspired by the old love line episodes where it was just

Adam and Dr. Drew taking calls and we think that that can be us but there's something there in this context for sure. So I think we're going to open up Zoom let people know when we open up Zoom and kind of take in one person at a time. They can chill in the waiting room and we pull them in. And the thing is

It's recorded. We'll put it in the episode. What'd you say? If we like your shit, we'll put it in the episode. Yeah, right. And, you know, it's recorded. So no one can say or really do anything that's, like, inappropriate. It's good.

We can kind of control it. So I'm going to go to the first one here. It's from April. Let's do it. The subject is meth weed. Okay. So here we go. All right.

This is from a T. TK are the initials. The time was 2009, 2010. I was 19. My second tour ever was opening for the U's and Atreu. That's a big one. It's a huge one. I joined this punk band called Bluh.

To play bass. We're a gorilla biscuit shirt. The merch guy for Atreou was also Tremus brother. Blah, blah, blah, invites me. And this is tough. Kind of got to redact. Merch guy invites me to come out of their bus.

Fuck. It's 18 a roller, right? smoke weed? Yeah. I don't know. Or is it 21? I don't know. Whatever.

We could just, this is the, there's no legality here. Yeah. We're not at real. We didn't tell the story. All right. So he takes him into the back.

There's some random smoking weed out of a volcano vaporizer. Oh, those are dope, dude. Those look awesome. My dad had one. And that was the one time where like, my dad was like hiding joints and stuff my whole life, you know.

Yeah. But the volcano vaporizer one day, I was like, dad, let me watch you smoke that. Because that looks cool as fuck. Is it crazy? I have no idea what it is. It's just a big fucking like cone.

That's just like, whoo-who. There's like weeds. I don't know where the weed goes because I just saw a big like cone of smoke. And I'd be like, dad, you look sick doing that. Good for you, man.

Anyway, continue. The ingenuity is insane. Someone starts picking on him out of nowhere saying shit like, what if I thought this kid was a, what if I wanted to start fighting this kid? The kid, our submitter, is super stone. It says, yo, I used to like you guys

in middle school. Smoke session ends, and he goes back to his band baked out of his mind. It's the first time they ever saw him high. Kind of a big deal. Fast forward a week or so. And the same guy asked if he wanted to buy some more weed.

He bought a quarter of this shit. Medical marijuana was not well known at the time, but it was just I just thought I bought some high grade medical shit. So he just thought he got some good, good stuff. Smoked all the weed over a span of two to three weeks, maybe a bowl a day, started feeling like a Jedi.

Base playing was on point. Drawing a bunch of crazy shit, not sleeping, thought his bunk was haunted. He started hallucinating every night, seeing glowing ice everywhere. Kemp thinking certain people were angels or demons. The bandmates didn't know what was going on and distanced themselves. Everyone including himself thought he was just smoking really strong stuff. tour manager called his mom to tell her that her son is coming home

different than when he left. Oh my God. Finished the tour and flew to girlfriend's house in Oregon instead of going home to Wisconsin. Slowly detoxes started coming back. I knew back to Earth over the next few weeks before the next tour started.

I knew something was up and then it hit me. Someone sold him gorilla biscuits because of the shirt and he smoked meth weed which is a gorilla biscuit. It's also a pill, but I suppose there's a smoking application. So they were like, dude, you would love this.

You're a, oh, you're into, oh, you are, you're on, this is what you're about, okay, prove it. That's a crazy story. That is, uh, that, I mean, you could kill a guy with that, right? Yeah, I would imagine so, dodgy heart. Ruining your life. I had a, did you, I had a friend in. high school, a really good friend of mine who obviously had, we found out had an underlying

condition, but basically, without kind of trivializing what he went through, when he went to college, he got really into that salvia shit and like hallucinogens and stuff, and he had a psychotic break, thought he was on the Truman show, for real. Dude, one day, these four dudes, I wasn't with them for some reason, but it was like my friend group. They went to Wingstops, saw my mom in Roselle, and then went to the big mall by where I'm from called Woodfield Mall and saw my dad. And this dude was convinced that my parents were actors. Because truly, I would have been with him on a normal day.

Seeing both my parents separately would have freaked me out too. What are the odds of that? Very low. Pretty low. In a big city. Yeah. So that shit scares me. Maybe, I mean, listen, I'm not counting him out there.

But yeah, I'm, I'm pretty thankful on a regular, you know, we take straight edge for granted, you know. Yeah, absolutely. This thing that we found very young and just decided to stick with. We're one of- Just don't even think about it. We're one of eight left, okay? So, you don't even think about it. But then you just, I hear story after story of like every week, a guy's life or a girl's life is just ruined.

And I'm like, all right, you know. It's nice to never have to even think about that. It's like having your appendix out or wisdom teeth out earlier. So I don't know. Just we never have to worry about it. It's just not. Speaking of which, have I ever told you about my appendix rupturing? My appendix ruptured too.

It did? This is why we have the show. Yeah. So this was 2017. Okay. My appendix rupture. I was not on tour. Oh, that's great.

Yeah. Great. Great. but when it ruptured, I thought it was gas. I always think it's gas. It's a gassy guy. I'm always like,

I got to get this figured out. So I took a bunch of laxatives. I feel this sharp pain. I'm like, got to take some laxatives. It's never worked like for any ailment. Laxatives have never been the solvent. So I,

and then I book a doctor's appointment. And they're like, okay, we can get you in tomorrow. So I'm like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like,

I'm at home like dying. Dude. With a ruptured up in literally like. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It was that was it. It was like, I think I have the plague. I'm dead. The next day on my doctor's appointment's at 12. And I'm like, well, I got to eat.

So at 11 a.m. I hit the BK right next to my doctor's appointment. And, And, and get like, it was like, it was like a double Whopper, a Wopper Jr. Nuggets and a large fry. Excel, full heavy sugar, doctor pepper. Because that was who I was at the time. And I get to my doctor and it's the kind of, you know how they're like,

does it hurt here? Yes. Your appendix ruptured. Like it's like so fast. Yeah. Yeah. Where they're like, what's going on with you? Does this hurt?

Go to the, go to the ER. Yeah. Yeah. It's like how fast it was. You have to go right. now. I get to the ER and they're like, have you eaten anything today? I was like, oh, I had an incredible meal at 30 minutes ago. And they were looking at me just like, you fucking, you're an idiot. You're like, you could die. So I stayed there overnight in the ER, an extra

day, which was like, what? How much does that cost? No idea. Mom had good insurance. Another, another, it added another billion to my bill. And then I got it out and had a great time. Did you get the, like the normal cut or laparoscopic? Lapproscopic. So I have like three scars. Same here. And I took this video of myself when I was super high.

This is the highest, this is the only time I've ever been high in my life. It's awesome. So check this out. Oh, I have an appendix. John. Wow, that was great. That was great. So my thing was, was, I got pictures, this is a good one.

Arms Way played a Halloween show. We're all playing with, like, hollowed out pumpkins on our heads. It was, classic, a infamous show. Yeah. Super violent, pumpkins everywhere. We covered, like, five songs and then played five songs. You know what I mean? Just like a nonsense set.

And a couple days later, I started having pain. And I don't know about you, but, like, if I took, like, a bean bag that I had and like laid on it, put pressure on it, like, felt good. I remember sleeping on my stomach because it was like the only relief. And little to that did we know we were like in the fucking trenches in World War I, like putting a gauze around a gunshot. Yeah, straight. Just nothing.

Nothing. And then the next day I started puking. And every time I puked, it never got better. Which like, even the worst food poisoning, you get like five minutes of relief. Dude, that first puke after. being poisoned is. Yes, it's amazing. That's, I'm chasing that still. Yeah, absolutely. That's, that's why I eat. So, so I can one day feel that again.

So we, I tell my mom, and I've never done this before ever, I was like, mom, we, we got to go to the hospital. Like, something's up. I don't know what it is. Something's up. I never thought it was the appendix. They made me drink the shit and the dye. And then they like, I remember they, they inject something to like x-ray to see if you're bleeding internally. And they like injected this thing into the IV. And he was like, okay, it's going to feel warm. It's going to feel like you pissed yourself and then you're going to taste pennies. Is it morphine?

I don't know. No, no, no. It was like this dye that would like show any bleeding, I guess. Okay. While they like scanned me. And it was literally like, okay, here it comes. Oh, oh, no. Yeah.

Like back to back those three sensations that they described. Immediately. Dude, did they give you morphine? after? I mean, okay, so here's the thing. I found out I was,

I found out I was allergic to anesthesia from this. Oh, brutal, dude. So what happened was, you know, they do the typical like, all right, count backwards from 10

and it's like, and I'm out. Yeah, that's true. Right? Wake up, however much longer after, and immediately because you have a breathing tube

and because they give you a catheter, they want you to pee and they want you to drink, right, to make sure everything's good. This fucking lady gave me beef broth

to drink, not water. beef broth and she was like, you're just take a sip, make sure you can swallow. What is beef broth gonna do for you? So I like take a sip and then Exorcist bump.

Just like full on project of all over myself, all over the bed. And then I was nauseous for like two days. And my mom is, my mom is allergic. I have a weird opioid allergy. Oh, you're one of those?

One of those. Yeah. So it sucks for you, man. I love opioids now. I know that. One time I fucked up my back on tour and Chris, who had just got his wisdom teeth out,

had a viking. I took half a viking and it kept me up all night. Like, I don't, I don't react the same to that kind of stuff. That's, dude, that's crazy.

So you found out your allergic to anesthesia. I found out I love this. That was how mine worked out. And then I was prescribed norco for that, which I think, I don't know how, how gnarly that one is in, in like the world of pain killers or whatever.

I'm just, I'm not well versed, but man. So I, like needed it to sleep and stuff. But I was having the time of my life. I was sleeping 14 hours. That was, I haven't slept good since.

How about the recovery? It sucked. It was pretty gnarly. It was like a week of just like, yeah. And another side story. I was in college at the time and I had a speech class. You went to college?

I went to college for two years, so a community college. Did you get a degree? No. I was, it. I had a speech class. I had to do a speech on China's economic policy at the time, 2010 or whatever. I was like 19. And I emailed my professor being like, hey, I'm in the hospital. But at the beginning of the semester, she gave you the whole like, I don't care. I don't care what happens. The day you have your speech, if you're not here, you get a zero. So you got a zero. Well, I was trying to get out of it for like the two days later or whatever. So I dressed up. I wore my thing. explained to the class what happened, gave my dumb ass speech.

What do you mean your thing? You came with the fucking, I had to know, the gown and walked in with the, the eye drool machine. No, dude, I, I'm not sure if you recognize me,

but it's me, Bohan. You see I've become very ill. You had to dress up. So I had to wear dress pants. I had to wear a collared shirt. That's what I meant. Okay.

Gave my speech left, got a good grade, whatever. And then I found out, the next semester that teacher, or professor, I should say, was skiing and broke both of her legs. So, fuck you. But it feels really good to know that I'll never have to worry about my, like, sometimes I'll have a tummy ache. And then I go, at least it's not that, you know?

Oh, yeah. Every day when I have a tummy ache, I know that that's just the way I was supposed to be. And we'd be dead. Oh, yeah. 200 years ago, we would just be dead. I'd be a dead farmer. How old were you? Who did nothing?

I was 25, 26? Oh, pretty recent. Yeah, it was 2017, man. I was still a teenager. I think mine ruptured from pure fatness. And like, like, naturally. I think, I think, I think I, I mean, case in point,

hitting the double Whopper, Wopper Jr., large fry, 10 nuggets on my way to get it taken out. Yeah, I think, I think, Mine was self-inflicted somehow, if that's possible. Anyway, next story. Yeah, next story. Let's see here. You're right.

It does. This, you know, this is easy. It's easy. Yeah, exactly. All right. Hey, Colin and Bo. I had a fast food story to share about the times my band, blank, has gotten to in and out.

Because I just feel like we shouldn't say the band names, right? Yeah. Right? So this is from initials K and C. thank you for your story. Is it just us or does no one know about or fuck with their hot peppers? Kyle and I'm sure. Oh my God, dude.

The hot peppers are just one of those other things there that changes the game. It makes the burger feel like you're eating it for the first time all over again. Really? Yes, dude. I'm into hot now. Mustard fried, extra toasted bun, hot peppers. Do you, wait, you like mustard, right? I do like mustard.

Okay, so check this out. The patty, they smother it with mustard before they even put it on the grill. Yeah, I've had that. That rocks. And it adds pickles. I don't know if you're a pickleman. Huge picklehead. Okay, so when you say, can I get a much fried?

They go, are pickles okay? And I'm like, yeah. And then you add hot peppers too. And it just, that's how you feel. It gives you this bonus texture that just has never been there before. That truly feels like. like you're eating it for the first time. Okay.

When they call your number, you grab your meal. If you ask for peppers, they'll give you a little container with two or three hot peppers. I don't have a very high tolerance for heat or spice, which is fine, brother. It's good on you for trying. So these little fuckers blow me away. However, after the whole band was always... However, after the whole band was always asking for peppers, we realize there is no limit to how many you can ask. You look insane, but if you ask for 10 containers of peppers, they'll give them to you.

It's true. On our last tour, our guitars blatantly asked what the legal limit was for how many peppers they could give us. The answer was, no one has ever asked that. Needless to say, Blank keeps the van cooler of cooler in the van stocked with in and out hot peppers. And when we eat them all ritually on long drives to break the monotomy and have a little spicy fun. Love the show. Keep up the good work. Hope to see you all at some point in the future. Thank you. You know what? That's like, this is like a fucking. Princess Bride with the Iocaine powder.

These motherfuckers are building up a resistance. That's a fun game. I might have to try it. They get a cooler for it. Oh, that's what it says. I've never kept a cooler in the van. Me neither. I just have about 18 water bottles fucking floshing around under me under my bench.

No cooler. Where the hell would I put it? Where will my 18 water bottles go? What are you doing to me? Come on. Oh, this one's, okay, here we go. I like that one. I look forward to trying the hot peppers now.

I had no idea. Come on back now. Are they like pickled hot or just hot? Yeah, it's like chopped up pepper and chinis. Yeah. Yeah, I like, I can dig that. It's good shit. Okay.

All right. All right, this tale of how driving is bad and dumb is in regards to a weekend tour I did with a psychobilly band I used to be in. cringe. I know, I know, but Colin is right. Necromantic Scott tracks, which is true. I was just about to say, necromanics. Oh, come on, dude. You can't, you got to see through genre. When you hear a hook, when you hear a hook, like, who gives a cheerleader, no, it wasn't me at all. You got to just accept that it's genius. I'll never, dude, there is a video of Danzig singing American Nightmare with Hank the third one time ever. And you realize, I know, I know that you appreciate Danzig.

So I know that you'll agree with it. But the fact that that man like was so cross genre to folk country, to thrash, to punk, to pop. Everybody. It was, I mean, they're just, the misfits and Danzig and Sam Hayne to some extent. Yeah. are like so many different genres, gateways into other genres? Absolutely. It means so many different things to so many people that, yeah, it's like, I mean,

you'd be harder in a group of like 100 people to find somebody who had not been touched by, at least the logo in some way. So we often have a discussion of like, what's the most popular, like, punk logo? what's the most popular punk band, blah, blah, and like the Misfits solidified it. They sold out fucking Allstate Arena. Yeah, it's crazy. No punk band on Earth.

Didn't they sell it MSG? Yeah. And what's the thing over in LA? Alcalantrio played it. Staples Center? Staples Center. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. Was it the Staples Center?

I forget where the show was. I think it was. What's the venue in Inglewood? The forum? I think it was the forum. Oh, okay. Well, that's like, like, Slipknot. But still.

Okay. Well, maybe I was wrong. But I happened to know at the first, I was at the first one, Sabah went with me and Casey. We went to the first reunion at Riot Fest. There was 65,000 people there. It's crazy. That's WrestleMania numbers, dude. Yeah.

I mean, I also happened to know they got paid seven fingers. No other punk band is doing that. No. And without them, you don't have Metallica, the big four. Yeah. which then is like, okay, no Pantera, no Sepulah. Everything. It's like most extreme things go back to that.

Yeah. Which then goes back to Elvis. Elvis, absolutely. Absolutely. Which then goes back to every black rock and roll. Yeah, yeah, right. So thank you every black rock and roll artist ever that Elvis stole. Unbelievable.

For the misfits, which in turn gave us Slayer. Thank you. Okay. I will never drive on any tour ever again because of this weekend. This is like some, some, this feels so naughty. The shows go as follow. Friday, Sacramento, Saturday, Lake Tahoe, which people probably don't realize how close Reno is to Sacramento. It's a great, that's a great rounding right there.

It's beautiful. And then Sunday was actual Reno. That's Tahoe and Reno Yeah, that's kind of crazy But for people who don't know Think of it in your brain There's two things

That blow me away When I look at a map Anytime I happen to look at a map Mm-hmm Pittsburgh is directly north Of a little bit of West Virginia Which is fucking weird Yeah

And Sacramento Is really close to Reno It's just weird It is weird In my brain There's some There's some geographically Weird shit going on here

man, you know. Skin walkers. Yeah. And they just like a lot of people just don't. I feel like that we've come a long way in terms of routings. Yeah. Like there's just classic one. I'm not going to say the band, but.

Yeah. I was on a tour with nails when this band posted their routing. And John, John just kept, John Glue from bass player of nails, just kept repeating the routing because it was so insane. August 8th, Tucson, Arizona. Okay. August 9th. I think Austin, Texas.

Okay. August 10th. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. No. To put that out the top of my head, Chicago to Dallas, which is a shorter distance is 14 hours straight. Yeah.

Just go on shore. Do south. And that's like, I'm like, thank you very much. And we're going to leaving. And maybe you'll make it by eight. Philadelphia, without a day off.

August 8th, Tucson. August 9th. I've never forgotten that because of how many times John was just going, August 8th, Tucson. August 9th, Austin. Which isn't, that's not a short drive either. No, not at all.

Tucson to Austin sucks. What is that? 10? It's got to be. Got to be. Because you're middle of the. state over New Mexico and then I feel like Tucson to

fucking El Paso is 10. I think you might be right. Let's see. Do I got maps on this on this motherfucker? Let's see. Dude, I love El Paso. Weird fact about me. The Cat House. If it's one thing about me, I love El Paso.

Tucson A Z. All right. Directions. We're going to do this live on the show. Create Route from Austin, Texas. Here we go. Calculating. Calculating.

Pacific. It's not even, oh, getting there safely. That's 13 hours. And with a time, you lose, well, I think Austin is, you lose time for sure. It's either Mountain or Central. Austin to Philadelphia. Let me guess. Hold, hold, let me guess.

Let me guess. Austin from Dallas is like three or four hours, 14 to Chicago. From Chicago to Philly is 12. Just did it. I mean, have done it in the past. 20. 24. And that's no trailer.

And that's losing an hour. So that literally means if you leave the second you're done, you're already late. You're like five hours late. Because if they were the headliner, it was like a punk tour. Fucking unbelievable. Best thing ever. That is August 8th, Tucson. I'll never forget.

That was my mantra. August 8th, Tucson, August 9. All right. Just don't do that, guys. Play Sacramento, play Reno, stay at the Golden Nugget, $18 rooms, gamble all night. I'm a GSR man myself, to be fair. So my wife is from Reno, so I got the real inside baseball there.

Very nice. I genuinely enjoy being in Reno. Love Reno. I think it's beautiful. I love Reno. Yeah, it's fucking awesome. The downtown is like, It's like any downtown.

It's like, okay, this is dirty and the people are gross. But outside of that, where the locals are actually hanging out, like it's like the most beautiful mountain. Tahoe is visible. So it just looks incredible. Sierra Nevada. Amazing food there. Really?

Oh, dude, there's just breakfast place called Pine State Biscuits. I love a biscuit. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. All right. So continue this band's routing. All right. That's it.

So we got Sacramento one day. South Lake Tahoe, California. I guess, is that in California? I don't fucking know. That's what it says. I've never heard of that in my life. Either way, Sacramento, Tahoe, Reno is bullocks. You could do that route.

You could do that there and back in under six hours. Yeah, that's stupid. Friday, I don't have the day off. So I get off work at five. and head over to Sacramento. Three and a half hour drive with traffic. Driving through the bay at that time was an actual nightmare hellscape. Nothing's changed.

We play the show, the show ends. We have no place to stay in Sacramento. So I drive back to the bay to sleep. About one drive only. I think he meant about a one hour drive only. Okay. Saturday, the following day, he drives them to everyone to Taco.

Who the fuck play Taco? Who the fuck plays in Taco? Haho, by the way. It's crazy. On the way up the mountain. It starts raining. Yeah. Yeah, right.

What is the venue? A bowling alley? Whiskey Dix. So a bar. Yeah, probably. On the way up the mountain, it starts raining, and I come around a blind turn to just see a dead traffic. Dead stop traffic. I can't.

I haven't read it. I know. Years. Yeah. I slam on the brakes and missed the car in front of me by inches. Somehow the car behind me doesn't rear end me. Wow. Fortunately, there was a huge record in front of us and people died.

So we were stuck on the mountain for what I remember being about three hours. We just stood in the woods next to the car saying, oh my God, I saw Sasquatch every three months. That's pretty good. Finally, the road gets cleared and me and our guitar player barely make our set. So I guess it was just them too. We get to a hotel that night at what I assume was previously a murder site. And there's a sign in the parking lot that says,

car will get broken into if items left in the car. So we haul all of our gear up the stairs into the room. There's a guy walking around checking. I told you. Sunday, I drive us to Reno, which is like 40. Yeah, I guess. Drive us to Reno, which is about 45 minutes. It's like nothing.

We play the show afterwards, a random woman is waiting for us by the car. And she's like, all right, where are we headed? She looks like the bird lady from home alone too. That's really mean. Dude, when Kevin just says, the bird, when he just goes, dude, this man,

this kid, motherfucking Kevin has a room at the plaza. And he's like, all right, see you, lady. Peace. Enjoy your stool.

Dude, how cool is it, though, when they watch actual John Williams performing. Oh, it's insane. Unbelievable.

Uh, and she legit thinks we're taking her with us. I have to literally put gear between her and our car so she doesn't get in. I don't have work off the next morning, so I have to drive us back from Reno to the Bay overnight. Easy. Keep in mind, it's me and another person fully loaded with gear in a 97 roll-up.

Of course, it starts snowing on the way down the mountain. I'm literally completely blind. I'm just following tail lights in front of me. All while, so my truck is tailgating me, so I can't slow down. Was she? What about the lady? Was she chasing after them? It's just full-on T-1,000.

I make it back home. Where are we going? nap for 15 minutes and then drive back to San Mateo for work. In total, I estimate about I drove around 16 to 17 hours that weekend. Actual fucking nightmare. I will never drive on tour again. Y'all rule, thanks. Initials AC.

Collins. P.S. Colin. Twitching tongues played Gilman once and you put the mic in my face to yellow line and you accidentally put your whole ass index finger into my mouth. Salty. You're welcome. You are welcome.

this is an incredible story it's every time I die knocked loose harm's way in eternal sleep and we're playing we're playing uh slims in san francisco fucking awesome show like harmsway's playing and people are doing like bay area skanks like just

total ripper and we decide and he comes into the room and he's like hey like the next show is in Salt Lake but we have two days off to get to Salt Lake. Let's drive overnight to Vegas, hang out Vegas for two nights, and then get to Salt Lake on the thing.

To Vegas or Reno? Yeah. So. I just asked you question. Vegas. Sorry, the mic cut up. So we're like thinking about it, we're looking at the time. It's actually faster. Depending on the time of day, to drive through Vegas to Utah

than just to go do east or something. Like, it was like an hour different. How can that be? I don't know. Bay Area to Vegas to Salt Lake. I'm so confused. Because Reno would have been like, yeah, it's right there. So San Francisco to Las Vegas is...

It's straight up. So it's 11 hours, two minutes. Okay. Which isn't that bad. It sucks, but it's not that bad. But now San Francisco to Salt Lake. is it's got to be like, there you go. It's longer.

Wow. It's longer by like 40 minutes. So we were just like, well, why the fuck not? Right? So everybody, me or us, I did the overnight drive. Every time I died, I did it and knocked loose, we all decided to go, amazing meal. That was where we had that crazy meal at DeMonaco's, great time, blah, blah, blah. Eternal sleep are like ultra frugal on tour.

Joe was like very good at keeping everything, all the expenses in line so that they make a good amount of money when they get home. Sure. Okay. They do this route and they go through Reno. They get stuck in an avalanche outside of Reno. Wow. They had to sit in their van for 14 hours.

Oh my God. So they had a plan to like stay with a friend camp a little for two days and like do the nature thing and then meet up with us. And they just like couldn't do any of them. Oh my God. Meanwhile, we're posting pictures. I'm wearing robes. Yeah, yeah.

We're winning money. live. But you paid dearly next time you were there, right? Come on, Colin. All right. Yeah. No, no crickets for that. You accept your penance. You paid. Okay, we got one more story. We got, let's see, one, two, three, four. We got three more if we want. Okay, everybody. No, no, no, two more. Thank you to Chili for joining me briefly.

Okay, we got one about, this one's about food, Colin. So, hey, bring it on. Hey, bring it on. Hey, boy. podcast. Collecting things and eating things are my jam as a good old American consumer, but I felt validated in a lot of, in a lot of my food choices, I think, based on our conversation. Sure. Panda slaps harder than it ever fucking shooting. Absolutely. The Chow Main Super Green Mix combo is nearly unrivaled. Everyone knows that orange chicken is bomb and terriaki chicken does for, does feel like

the healthy option, even though it's literally just, yeah. It's tough food. Health food. Oh, I don't, I either get the sauce on the side or I don't even use it. I just use the spicy mustard. So. Okay. Sorry.

I actually had a pertinent text message. But, and I mean this heavily, you all are sleeping on the, and there's, he says the Mongolian beef, but he means the Beijing. The Beijing beef. I'm not a huge fan of the Beijing beef. And he said, if you pull up and that in italics, fresh walk, sales over the kitchen divider. It is a must in all bold. I'll try it next time. Have you ever had it?

I've never had it. It's orange chicken, but beef. It's fried beef. I can get down on that. But the beef is much thinner. So it's like the breading is way crispier. It feels worse for you to eat, even though it's probably not. But I know all about the Beijing beef.

I like it, but I'm just like, give me the triple orange over that all day, you know. All right. Next bullet point. Love Chris Santos, but he is mental for doubling down so hard on five guys. Hold on. No comment. Yeah, I can't read the rest of this. Slandrous, Mr. D.B. Ron's house is undoubtedly, undoubtedly the goat.

There's no question in their Buffalo is so good. Ronald McDonald. Ron's House, babe. Portillo's has a burger. Three question marks I got to try. My friend, if you like burgers as, like a barbecue. That's what Bortilla's got. It's charred. It's like a poppy seed bun, sesame seed bun, what's like the little white guys, which is normally that's a sesame seed? That is

sesame. But like not seeds. They're like balls. Is it still sesame seed? I think so. Like what's on a Big Mac bun, right? On a what? You wouldn't know on a Big Mac bun. No, those are sesame seeds. I do know. To all beef, patty, special sauce, lettuce cheese on a sesame seed bun. Subway is by far the most foul fast food. I've always said that it's the leakage under the bottom of the barrel because it's just so, so bad. I had to eat some in the extended layover in Thailand once, and I promise you my non-existent niece could have made anything better.

Forever a subway hater. Good. All right. Taco Bell's Pepsi game is excusable because of Baja, but wild cherry Pepsi from there is also a banger. That's not my bag, baby. I can't do a cherry-flavored thing. Even though it's one of the 23 in Dr. Pepper.

When it's standalone, I'm out. Interesting. Okay. Artificial fruit I can't is like so vile to me. Other than the frozen otterpop. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. That's where I cross the picket line.

But everywhere else I'm firm. You're going to love this. Also, please validate me one step further and roast the freestyle machine. Movie theaters, wow, while five guys, wing stop. It doesn't matter. That is the wackest piece of equipment in any establishment. I won't do it. I hate the freestyle machine.

Love the freestyle. Really? Love it. You got to understand, brother. I live in Los Angeles. My freestyle machines are tended to. They're chocked full. The syrups are full every time.

So when I want a Pib Zero Ultra Max with vanilla in it, it's there. It's the last place you can get the, orange vanilla Coke Zero because it's off the shelves now. I can appreciate that. I love it. Love a freestyle machine. I'll often get a diet and there's just fucking pomegranate or something flavored in there because they don't clean the shit.

It all comes out of the same hole. I don't have to then run a little water for like five seconds. Go back to your diet and pick something good. Step off your little bice. Yeah. I don't have that experience. I always, I have fun with the freestyle machine. If you disrespect the freestyle machine, that's on you.

That's operator error, brother. There's ways to make it work in your favor. Die for an eye, I guess. It is. Last email from MD. All right. Try to keep this brief. I'm in a band called Flehr.

One time we were on tour and we drove through Kentucky. We stopped at a loves gas station slash Arby's, which is a killer combo. They have Arby's claims to have. have a Wagyu burger. I've heard it's good. No way. Yes. It's obviously not fucking 8-5 Waggoo, but like it, yeah.

Typically, this would be a glorious stop. Roast beef sandwiches and Red Bull all at once, all at one stop convenience. However, we spotted a vehicle that stood out to us. Uh-oh. There is a Jeep renegade loaded with Nazi and swastika stickers. While a white supremacist would own a Jeep renegade confuses me, to this day. It's Kentucky, brother. This person, their base

player, said, let's go inside and fuck this guy up. I said I'm in. We storm inside of the gas station and look for the culprit. We see a fat ass man with an SS hat, eating two Arby Smokehouse brisket sandwiches. I mean, no accounting for taste guys.

We went to approach him until we saw the Glock exposed on his fat hip. We decided not to approach him, instead we knifed his car and drove away. There you go. We tweeted the story. story and everyone responded with the actresses of no Nazis asking

us to go vandalize their property as well. Alas, that was not our destiny. Love the podcast. Love your guys' bands. I love Lamp. Thank you, MD. That was... That's good stuff. Good on you. Man. What? They're out there, huh?

They're braver than ever in the post-Trump world. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dude, southern Indiana, Kentucky, like that whole area is grimy. Really? They're just, open. It's really easy to forget when you're in a a metropolitan area that,

like, that's most of the country. That's, that's huge. It's a huge population. Six out of nine of the Supreme Court represent most of the country. Half the fucking country. In terms of their ideology. Exactly.

Twice, twice. Yeah, twice. Yeah. I'm also surprised that, uh, like Orange County by you. It's like, there's little pockets all over California where they just,

the shitheads all gravitate towards, to the Huntington Beach is like, right, that was, might as well be out, a fucking Alabama of Clan March, you know? It's like always been that way though, right?

Because like even, I remember reading like old punk stories that like, HB skins were like always. It was a thing, yeah. I mean, you look at,

I mean, look at fucking, uh, Rodney King riots and shit like that, you know? Like, it's, it's,

it's, overall, It's probably dead even in terms of just ideologies, but a lot of those motherfuckers just ain't voting. They don't know how to work. They don't how to work the machines. Yeah, it's a fucking real shame. It's a comedy of error.

Yeah. But that was, this was fun. This was a nice short one. This was easy. It was great. I had a great time. Guys, send us more emails, more stories. Ask us questions.

Have us rank stuff in tears. Whatever you want. Yeah. It's what we're here for. That's what we want to do. We will be back next week with Emma from Dying Wish. Is that correct? That is the plan. And it should be the regularly scheduled time.

We apologize for this one showing up late. It was just scheduling stuff. But it shouldn't be happening again. It's true. And the next time I'm out of town in August, I have some equipment to bring with me. So it'll be easy. Where are you going in August? I got you.

One of these days I'll fucking get you, man. All right. Thank you so much, everybody. This is Hardlore. We love you all. Thank you so much for supporting the show. We'll see you next Wednesday. Bye.